Chapter Five
The day promised to be a hot one. There was no dew on the fields, and only a few birds were singing from the roadside brush as Dr. Connor Macleod struggled to drive, stay awake, and keep tabs on the bundle on the seat beside him. He’d been called out of bed to deliver twin calves and discovered there were actually three in the tangle. Two were already dead and it had taken the better part of the night to make sure the lone survivor wouldn’t join them. The first-time mother had completely refused to bond with the undersized calf. Now it was wrapped in a blanket on the front seat, another orphan to be nursed at the North Star Animal Hospital. At least the weather was good—cattle producers in the Peace region tended to calve their herds in either January or May. If he had to get up in the middle of the night to attend a calving, Connor certainly preferred it to be at this time of year.
Thank God for Birkie. He was going to be late for his surgeries but at least the North Star Animal Hospital was in capable hands. The receptionist’s efficiency bordered on the superhuman. By now, Birkie would have opened the clinic, noticed his absence, checked his whereabouts with dispatch—and formulated a battle plan. Anything that didn’t require a licensed veterinarian would be passed to Caroline. Anything that did would be rescheduled.
And next weekend Connor wouldn’t have a single qualm about directing their dispatch service to call the new vet instead of him. He was pleased with how well Jillian had fit into the practice in such a short time. She was highly skilled, passionate about her work, and eager to learn more. A potent combination in his books. He’d just have to keep an eye on her to make sure she didn’t work herself into the ground.
Meanwhile, it would be a real treat not to work himself into the ground. Before he’d married Zoey, Birkie had often been on his case about putting all his passion into his practice. It had been hard not to. The work he did absorbed him; he lived and breathed it. He still did, to a degree, but he had to admit he’d rather spend time with Zoey whenever possible. She was busy too, and loved her newspaper as much as he loved animals, but nothing else existed when they were together at the end of the day. Sometimes they just collapsed on the couch like any hard-working couple. Most of the time, they called the Change and chased each other all over the farm and throughout the river valley.
To run as a wolf was freedom and joy and a tremendous sense of wholeness wrapped together. And it was all the more so now that Zoey was by his side. He’d lived a very long time, but nothing he’d experienced held a candle to the wonders of having a mate.
Like all of the Macleods, Connor was far older than he appeared, would live beyond several human lifetimes, but there were few Changelings left in the world. Most of his kind built relationships with humans. Fortunately, a human could become a Changeling too, could share in the gifts. Just like in the old werewolf tales, anyone bitten by a Changeling would become one. Their saliva contained a unique peptide. A single bite could inject enough of the substance into the bloodstream to activate a gene, one that existed in every human being. Not all human partners chose this path, but most did.
There were success stories all around him. The Pack leader, Jessie Watson, had Changed her human mate, Bill. Within his own family, Connor’s mother had done the same for his father half a millennia ago. Both had been well prepared and welcomed the gift of the wolf with joy. It had been different for Connor’s wife, Zoey. The gift was forced on her by a Changeling gone rogue, before she even knew that such creatures existed. Despite such a rough beginning, however, Zoey loved her new life. She’d not only adapted well but displayed a talent for shapeshifting beyond Connor’s own abilities.
James and Evelyn had discussed the Change many times, but then she became pregnant and they had decided to wait until after the baby came. Connor had wondered for years if Evelyn might have been able to save herself if she had been able to call forth the Change. Did James wonder that as well? Was it one more weight added to an already unbearable burden? Connor questioned anew if his brother was ever going to return to his human self. Would he ever even want to after losing so much? Jessie seemed so certain that James was improving but Connor just couldn’t see it.
Come to think of it, he was probably too tired to see anything. Even Changelings had to rest sometime. He’d been out on farm calls almost every night this week, and the second calving season of the year had barely begun. The tall vet left off thinking about his brother and focused instead on hopes of hot coffee and a hot shower as he pulled into the bay at the back of the North Star Animal Hospital. He tucked the blanket more securely around the tiny calf and carried it inside—and suddenly every wolfen sense flared to attention. A Changeling had been inside the clinic in wolf form. And it wasn’t just any member of the Pack. There was no mistaking the white wolf’s scent. It hung in the air, as three-dimensional as a holographic image to Connor’s lupine senses. What the hell?
He blinked and found that Caroline had already taken the undersized calf from him, and was asking something about an IV. He rubbed a quick hand over his face and found his voice. “Sorry, I’m not all here. Yeah, an IV would be good. And I milked out some colostrum from the mother—I almost forgot. Thanks.” He pulled the quart jar from a deep jacket pocket, thankful that he’d remembered it before he broke the damn thing, and handed it to her. “It’s not much. I left the owner milking out the rest. He’ll bring it by in an hour or so.”
Calf and assistant disappeared from his sight and his mind. Connor inhaled carefully, certain that thoughts of his brother must have influenced his senses. But there was no mistake. He walked slowly forward, following the airborne traces to the large livestock area . . . the stack of bales . . . the hallway. What on earth had brought James inside the clinic? He had no answer for that.
A noise from down the hall signaled the arrival of another truck in the bay. A moment later Jillian came through the doorway with her knapsack and something else. The scent of the white wolf enveloped her, swirled around her and preceded her down the hall like a live thing. A human could never have detected it, but to Connor it was as powerful as a punch to the head. He found he couldn’t say a word or form a thought, only stare at her.
“Hey there,” she said as she approached. “I’m a little messy, but I don’t look that scary do I?”
Connor shook himself mentally and found his voice. “No, not at all. I mean, you look a little tired maybe.” The scent of the wolf was overwhelming, the scents of the forest strong as well. Connor could have named the places she’d been right down to the plants she’d touched. “Did you get to see Elk Point?” He knew full well she had.
“Sure did. It was great, even better than you described. I’ll have to bore you with my thousands of photos one day. Say, do you know that a wolf pack has been in that area?” “Really?” Good Christ, there was white hair all over her jacket. Had James lost his mind?
“Tons of prints everywhere.”
Connor nodded, tried to act casual. Normal. Anything other than how he felt. “You’re a pretty good tracker for a city girl. Maybe you’ll get to see more. I know you’re interested in wolves.” And one of them seemed to be interested in her for some reason. How the hell did she get so damn close to him? And why did he let her? There were a hundred questions Connor was dying to ask the young vet and no plausible way to do so. What on earth could he say? Hey, did you see my brother the wolf?
She didn’t give him any more information either. Instead she studied him intently. “Are you sure you don’t need me today? It’s barely Monday, and you look exhausted.”
“No, you go ahead and enjoy your day. In this business, you take your time off when you can get it. I’m looking forward to having the next weekend when my wife will be home.” Connor realized Jillian was looking at his stained coveralls. He probably looked like he’d delivered a dozen calves. “I was just on my way to get cleaned up.”
“Okay, well, I’ve got some errands to run downtown. Thanks again for the use of the truck.”
“You’re going to use it often enough when you’re called out to a farm. Might as well get some enjoyment out of it as well.” She smiled at that, then continued on past him down the hallway and into her apartment. When her door clicked, Connor leaned on the wall for support and rubbed both hands over his face, hard.
“Jesus. Sweet Jesus Christ.” He knew he wasn’t going to get much more information out of Jillian, not without raising her suspicion. That was okay. He would Change tonight and go looking for his older brother himself. James Macleod had a hell of a lot of explaining to do.
 
Douglas sat in the kitchen and poured a double shot of Jack Daniels into his coffee. Drank it down. Tried to reassure himself that it didn’t mean a thing when Jillian had said there were wolves. Of course wolves lived around here, just like bears and cougars did. Good God, he had even hunted wolves, ordinary wolves, when he was just a kid.
But the woman had been looking for a white wolf. White. Maybe he didn’t hear her right. Maybe she was mistaken completely, maybe she saw just what she suggested—a dog or a calf or who knows? But he knew who she must be. He’d heard about the clinic’s new lady vet and figured that anyone who made it through seven years of veterinary college wasn’t stupid or prone to seeing things. If she thought she saw a white wolf, she likely did.
“But so what?” He refilled his cup with more Jack Daniels than coffee and pondered the question. So what if she saw a white wolf? Wolves were known to come in a wide variety of colors, and white wasn’t uncommon. Hell, most of the wolves in the arctic were white for Christ’s sake. And none of them lived for thirty fucking years either. It wasn’t the same creature, it couldn’t be. It just wasn’t possible.
But then he hadn’t thought it possible for werewolves to exist. And he wished for the millionth time that he had never seen one.
Wished he hadn’t heard the back door close just after midnight. Wished he hadn’t been so fucking nosy, wished he hadn’t crept outside to find his father loading the Remington 12-gauge as if to go hunting—and hunting for something big too. Jesus, he’d all but begged to go along. After all, they’d stalked deer and moose since the boy was old enough to walk, sometimes even bear or wolf. Maybe the old man was going for the cougar their neighbor had spotted recently. His father had hesitated at first, tried to make him go inside. Then he relented—and told him a story that made his young blood chill. He’d grown up thinking his mom had simply left them. His sister, Rosa, was old enough to remember their mother, and said she had run away when he was still a baby. His father had never said anything at all. Roderick had refused to talk about her or answer any questions, had refused to even let the subject be mentioned. But now his father was telling him that his mother hadn’t run away at all, that she’d been killed, and not by anything ordinary. By werewolves. Holy fucking crap, werewolves for real, just like in the movies and the comics. It was terrifying and exciting at the same time. No way could Douglas stay home.
But when they’d made their way to the Macleod farm, it wasn’t what he expected, not at all.
“Dad, she don’t look like a wolf,” he had dared to say at last. He didn’t look at the crumpled figure in the middle of the bloody floor but saw it all too clearly in his mind. Douglas had owned a rifle since he’d been large enough to carry one, gone on countless hunting trips and had never once been squeamish. But this was different and his stomach felt like it had crawled into his throat. “Isn’t she supposed to turn into a wolf after she’s dead?”
“That’s an old wives’ tale. They don’t change unless they want to. Don’t need a full moon either, but they’re stronger at the full moon. That’s why we had to come tonight, when the moon’s getting small.”
“But she . . . she looks like Rosa. She looks like Rosa and you shot her anyways.” Dougie’s voice quavered in spite of himself. Rosa was married now and expecting his niece or nephew any day now. At fourteen, he thought it was going to be really cool to be an uncle.
His father turned on him at once, shoved him hard into the wall and gripped the front of his shirt. The old man’s voice was a whip. “Don’t you go feeling sorry for these damned creatures. That’s how they fool you, by looking like us. You get it through your head that they’re predators, deceivers and predators through and through.” He gave the boy a sharp shake to underscore the words, then tossed him back to slam against the wall again. “Once a pair starts breeding like this, we’ll be hip deep in the bastards before you can blink. You want that, Dougie? You want them going after our livestock? Maybe going after Rosa like they did your mother?”
“No, no, I didn’t mean—”
“You watch, boy, you just stay right here and watch. You haven’t seen these animals like I have. That’s why you can’t believe. You wait. And then you’ll see and you’ll know. We’ve taken care of one and now her mate will have to come here. He’ll be drawn here and we’ll be waiting for him.” The man stood in the shadows of the darkened house, the pump action shotgun resting across his arm, watching both the front and the side windows.
An hour went by in silence, then two. Finally his father spat in disgust. “It’s been too goddamn long. I don’t know where the son of a bitch is, but I’m not waiting any longer to destroy the den. We’ll have to go after the male another night.” He gathered up the gas cans and headed for the stairs. “You stay here and keep watching, hear me? I don’t want any of those bastards sneaking up on us.”
The boy turned to the window again, feeling both older than his fourteen years and much, much younger. He was grateful that the smell of the gas covered up the stink of blood in the air, glad for the beginning crackle of flames above that almost drowned out the thoughts whirling in his head. His dad was nuts, completely and totally a nut case, shooting some poor lady thinking she was a werewolf. Using a shotgun of all things like she was dangerous, like in some movie. He should have stopped him, should have made his dad stop—but he hadn’t stopped him, oh Jesus, he hadn’t even realized what the old man was going to do before it was done . . . and neither had she.
The boy welcomed the waft of smoke that stung his eyes, gave him an excuse for the tears that filled them. He rubbed them and tried to focus on the line of trees beyond the barn. The moon’s light was weak and the forest looked black and ominous. Suddenly there was a flash of white and a great silvery shape sprang from the darkness, running hard.
“Hey—hey, there it is. I see it!” He stared at it, terrified and fascinated at the same time. “Holy shit! It’s big, it’s fuckin’ huge.”
His father was beside him at once. Thick smoke was now hovering near the ceiling and there were loud popping and crackling noises as flames consumed the rooms above them, but the old man was determined to finish what he’d started.“Get back behind the wall over there. Let him come all the way through the door, then pull the trigger. Got it? Aim for the head if you can.”
“But the fire—” It was getting hard to breathe.
“There’s time, we can get him. We gotta get him. Listen to what I tell you.” The old man ducked back to the other corner of the dining room.
Seconds later the front door burst inward as it was struck by the massive animal. Dougie flinched at the explosive noise of shattering wood and nearly dropped the gun. He swallowed and forced himself to peer around the corner, his heart pounding so hard it hurt his chest. A great white wolf stood in the doorway, nearly filling half of it. Then abruptly, instantly, it became a tall, blond man. It was almost more than the boy could do to remember to breathe and yet keep from gasping aloud. His throat constricted with the effort. Holy Jesus. Dad was right. He was fuckin’ right! The teen pressed his back to the dining room wall and gripped the rifle in one shaking hand and his crotch in the other, praying he wouldn’t piss his pants like a baby. That’s when he heard the sound—not a sound he’d ever heard in his life and not one he ever wanted to hear again. A wild keening of terrible grief, unendurable pain. The unearthly howl pierced his head, stabbed at his heart. He couldn’t stop himself from peering around the corner again. The blond man was kneeling on the bloody floor, cradling the woman’s body, rocking back and forth.
Without warning the old man sprang out and fired twice in deafening succession. The son stepped away from the wall as well, but his .22 was slack in his nerveless hands. He watched as their quarry slumped to the floor in a strange kind of slow motion. Even dead, the man seemed to curl himself protectively around the woman.
Dougie’s father shouted at him, urged him to shoot, shoot now, but the boy could only stand and stare through the thickening smoke with helpless tears running down his face.
Suddenly an ominous crash sounded right above them and a great shower of sparks and wood collapsed into the stairway. His father grabbed his arm and hustled him out the back door, both of them coughing and choking. Dougie nearly fell twice as they ran across the backyard and into the forest beyond where the truck was hidden. And all the way home he could still hear that terrible outcry of grief in his head.
Thirty years later, Douglas Harrison still heard that howl in his dreams. Still woke up sweating, sometimes in tears like the boy he had been. Tears were running down his cheeks now, as he held his coffee cup in front of him with both hands as if in supplication, praying for forgetfulness.