Chapter 19

Guntram de Lisle's Diary

June 21st

I never thought I would be again in London but here I am. Lintorff literally kicked me onto a plane three days ago. The only good thing was that Alexei was waiting for me in the airport and I got rid of Heindrik Holgersen for a few days. We took a flight late Sunday 20th night and arrived to his house very late. I was very tired but Monday morning, very early I was at the entrance of my old university to take the tests, with Alexei at my side, looking totally bored. I passed “Methodologies”—very dull thing—and tomorrow I have a presentation for Architectural History plus the oral examination.

Lintorff really meant to make me resume my studies.

Alexei asked me if I wanted to go around the city or visit a Museum and I refused. It's too much for me.

Konrad's house is less than three hundred metres from Constantin's and I never knew it! Fine example of the Georgian Architecture, decorated in the style up to the last detail and all pieces are originals. I've seen outside pictures of this house in several internal papers from the school and being inside could be considered as a privilege for any Art History scholar. The music room is one of my favourite.

Being here forces me to consider many things over. In a way everything reminds me to that day but I also remember the good days when I was going to school, working or painting. I saw my former classmates and they were glad to see me and I was also. We had coffee, without Alexei's interference, spoke a bit about what I've been doing, officially recovering from a car accident and a heart attack, how things are in Zurich, if I still paint, how fantastic was my exhibition and almost the whole school was visiting it—I could have died right there of shame—the upcoming exhibition in Tate's and I never realised that I had been speaking with them for over four hours! Alexei was very kind as not to complain at all for being parked in a nearby table.

It's not the city what drives me crazy. Not at all. I nearly collapsed when the car parked in Kensington, but this afternoon I could enjoy the place. It's Constantin's memory what freaks me out. I have to end all this. I will not return to Russia after this year. I'm not their slave to do always what they want. I'm not a monkey either! This life they lead is absolutely nuts!

June 22nd

This morning I passed my second test and I'm very relieved. Konrad just called me to congratulate me for the results… in his own particular way: “I admit that I'm pleased with your grades. I was expecting that you would pass your tests with no less than flying colours.” Is that the German Swiss version of the hooray? Reminds me of Droopy. I really don't want to hear him when he's upset.

“Anyway, I was thinking to grant your wish of a brief face to face with Repin. If you're still interested, he will visit you on the 24th at five o'clock.”

I could have died right there from shock. I didn't know what to answer. I wanted to see Constantin but I feared to what all will take me, of what he would tell me, of his reactions and of my own mixed feelings for him.

“Guntram, would you be so kind as to give me an answer? I don't have the whole afternoon for you.” I heard his voice over the phone and I gulped.

“I would like to see him. Thank you.”

“In the music room, with one of my men present.”

“Alone, please. It's very private what I have to tell him.”

“All right, but Antonov will remain in the next room. The meeting will be stopped if he deems necessary to do so. Is that clear, Guntram?”

“Yes, Sire.”

“Do I have your word that you will refrain yourself from any kind of inappropriate contact with this man under my roof?”

What was he thinking? That I would swallow a full bottle of heart pills and jump on Constantin, fucking with him in front of all his goons? This man can be a real pig! “I will do nothing that could stain your house's good name.” Victorian enough for your taste, Konrad? Jane Austen's girls had more fun than I!

“We have an understanding then. You will return to Zurich on the 26th. You should visit some exhibitions now that you're in the city. Antonov will accompany you. Good-bye.” I swear he hung up on me.

I have to speak with Constantin. Delaying this moment will only hurt him more and could be dangerous for him. I'm sure Lintorff is after something more than collecting his money and I fear that Constantin could make a wrong move if he rushes to get money from his ventures. He has to understand that all is over. For his own safety. For his children's.

June 24th, 2004

London

“Can you please leave us alone, Alexei Gregorevich? I will be fine,” Guntram asked while he struggled with the lump in his throat. The blond Russian looked at him very seriously, unhappy with the request.

“If you do something that could upset him, I'll kill you right here and fuck with the consequences,” he barked in Russian to Repin.

“Aliosha,” he used his diminutive as he had done it many times in the past, “he's my angel and I swear that I would do nothing that could hurt him. You are another matter,” the man answered in Russian too.

“This is far from over. I'll enjoy your death,” Alexei spoke and left the room, closing the door behind him.

“You look much better than before, my angel. You have colours in your face again,” Constantin said, his eyes once more lost in the beauty of his lover. 'How much I missed him! I didn't remember he was so gorgeous.'

“Hello, my friend,” Guntram said very timidly, without knowing what else to tell. “I passed the tests at the University. I've recovered some of the lost time and will try to present more in December,” he quickly added, looking at a spot in the intricate parquetry design.

Constantin didn't seem to hear him because he was engulfed in his contemplation of Guntram, a Guntram he had not seen in over a year, the healthy boy, with rosy cheeks and shining eyes he had left in London, in another house, one summer day before leaving for the States, before his wife decided to destroy his most beautiful artwork. “Can I give you a hug, my angel?” he asked softly, knowing that Antonov would jump on him if he dared to touch Guntram without his permission.

“Yes, of course,” Guntram said smiling shyly and opened his arms. Constantin didn't wait for anything else and clutched his love strongly, almost crushing him against his chest till he felt Guntram's small hands pushing him away delicately and going one or two steps backwards to put some distance between them. “Should we sit, my friend?”

“Yes, of course. You should not tire yourself,” Constantin answered automatically.

“My health is much better nowadays. I can't run, but I can walk much more than before and sleep much better,” Guntram said as he sat in one corner of the sofa for three bodies and Constantin did the same.

“You indeed look much better. I'm very glad. Does Lintorff treat you well?”

“Yes, he does. He's kind although stern with me. He does not believe in “spoiling me” as he tells,”

Guntram told with a nervous chuckle. “He nearly forced me to study for the school, paint again and be with people around. I'm much better with that. I can go to places now, not as before, but it's much better. He told me to start to work again as “he has no money, time or patience for lazy boys.” The doctors changed my medications and I feel better, but I will have to take them for the rest of my life.”

“Will you start to work again?” Constantin asked not liking the idea a bit.

“Yes, sort of. I'm studying with a new teacher; Rudolf Ostermann. He's very harsh but good for me. He doesn't let me loaf or experiment. He destroys all what is bad and most of the time he knows what I should do. I could learn a lot with him. He wants to be my manager instead of Mr. Robertson, but I don't want to leave him.”

“Rudolf Ostermann is one of the most famous curators in Europe. To get a review from him is almost impossible and he has no taken a student in twenty years!”

“He has me and many ladies at his studio. He leaves my work alone most of the time now and from what I do, he suggests changes or fix things. We get along; sort of. If Konrad allowed this meeting, perhaps he will let me send you part of my work. I have something for your children, Constantin. I made it during my first month in Zurich.”

“The children miss you a lot. They're always asking about you, especially Vania.”

“I also miss them a lot.”

“Guntram, I miss you more and more with each passing day.”

“I was afraid of this, Constantin,” Guntram sighed and took a deep breath before continuing, hating himself for the pain he was certain he was going to cause to his long time friend. “You are the person who selflessly did and helped me more than any other, more than my own father. You showed me a world that I never thought could exist. I loved you with all my heart but it's over since that day. These three months allowed me to think about us in peace. You are not the person I fell in love with and I'm not that boy you loved. I'm changed and I can't deny the change any longer. I don't want to return to you and after the year is over, I will continue with my life. All I want to say is that you should not choose or plan your strategy thinking that I will be your lover again.”

“Guntram, you know I love you and things will be very different when you come home…”

“No, they won't. I'm certain of that. I need to leave all behind and start again. Away from all of you. I need my freedom to create, to live. You will put me in another golden cage, exactly as before. I didn't care before because I was blinded by my love for you, but I will not take it any more. I'm free here, free to make my own mistakes and to explore my own limits. I will find a way to survive on my own. I did it before.”

“Angel, you're very wrong if you think you can walk away from Lintorff. Freedom? Try to cross that door on your own and you'll see what he'll do to you!” Constantin started to raise his voice, making Guntram cower a little against the armrest. “I love you and you're mine. I will not let you go away like this!”

“Constantin, I want that we remain as friends. We can't be lovers any longer! Don't expect to recover what is broken!” Guntram said with a firm voice. “You were my first true love, but it was the love of a child. That child died in that hospital. I've realised that all this time, you have tried to get him back and forced me to be that person again, but I can't and I don't want. I'm different now; I know how cruel you all can be. I'm sick and bitter because of it. I'm tired all the time and I refuse to be your pet because that's what you want from me.”

“You're seriously mistaken if you think that I will allow this!” Constantin growled his eyes glowing in a feral way, as he took Guntram by his biceps, making him hiss in pain. “You will return with me in February!”

“I will only stay with Lintorff so he has no excuses to go against you! I'm not a piece of furniture you all can move at will!”

“I created you from nothing. You're mine!”

“I will not come back. Don't plan your strategy thinking that I will be back. Do what you have to do to secure your position and protect your children, Constantin. I will not betray your trust and do all what is in my hands to fulfil my part of the deal.”

“I will recover what is mine, Guntram. Whether you like it or not.”

“Good-bye, my friend.” Guntram stood and walked toward the door. “I will send you the book for your children,” he finished the talk by opening it.

“This is far from over, boy,” Constantin hissed when he passed by his side, but Guntram kept silent, doing his best to control the tears veiling his eyes.

He looked at the entrance hall just to see the butler running to open the door for Constantin and a deep sorrow engulfed him. Ratko was standing there looking at him with a frown. “Good riddance, boy. Best you could have done, but he's far from finished. Talk with Goran; he likes you like his brother. That man is a ferocious beast.”

“I'm no better than him. I broke his heart. He truly loved me.”

“Measure a man by the size of his enemies, my father once told me. You have earned my respect, boy.

Break ups are never easy, but we all survive them.”

Alexei entered the room almost running and checked Guntram's pulse. “Shit! It's very fast. To bed with you!”

“I'm fine Alexei, but I've hurt the kindest man I ever knew! I've tried to tell it hundred times but he never listened to me and now he's in pain!” Guntram said, battling the best as he could to keep his sobs under control while the tears were freely flowing. “He was always wonderful to me but I can't be with him any more! Every time I see him, I remember it! I've should have been stronger and get over it, and did try in Russia, but only when I was here I could start to forget! I'm so selfish!”

Alexei and Ratko were speechless but for different reasons. The first didn't want to say a thing that could render his charge more nervous and couldn't say something good about Repin. Pouring all his hatred of the man was useless and would only hurt the child more. 'Let him keep a good memory of the monster. He doesn't need to hit his head against the wall for being such an idiot to believe his lies.' Ratko, on the other hand, was still pondering if he had heard right: Repin… kind? The boy was crazier than anyone thought and he was sincere because he was now crying openly while Alexei did his best to calm him down. He hated nervous breakdowns. On the other hand, Repin had behaved very civilly when normally he would have stabbed, strangled, shot or drown the boy leaving him. That's why he had run from the control room the minute he had heard the boy sending him to hell. He had enough for one day.

Time to return to the kitchen, call Goran and ask what he wanted to do with the security tapes.

“Alexei, take him to his room and call the doctor. Pavicevic will kill us if he has another heart attack,” he growled while the Russian gently coaxed Guntram to climb up the stairs.

Both men had been watching the recording in the late afternoon. When it finished, Konrad closed his laptop with a dry thump. “Well Ferdinand, what do you think?”

“We might have a problem. He told Repin that he will not get back his main incentive to pay us back.”

“Please Ferdinand, if Repin returns the money or not, it will have nothing to do with Guntram. He knows what I can do to collect my debts.”

“Yes, but he has the perfect excuse to refuse to pay. We didn't return the boy.”

“I will return the boy, Ferdinand. Repin can come here or send someone and, after we had verified that the transfer has reached us, the boy will be free to leave. If Guntram does not move, it's his problem, not mine.”

“Do you think he's going to be so stupid? Then what? Do we give the boy ten Francs for the bus?”

“We'll find out next February. In a way I would love that he does not pay me so I can end this threat for once and all. Guntram has burned down all his ships now.”

“And you love it. Now the boy has to do what you want if he wants to survive Repin's wrath after February. The minute that child—yes child, because his reaction to all this proves me that he's still a child—leaves your office, the whole Russian Mafia will jump after his throat to return him to Repin for a good price. Does he really believe that he can walk away?”

“All this proves that Guntram is a good person. His reaction is better than I expected. Can you imagine for a second what would have Roger done if he would have been in his place?”

“Perfectly well. He gets money from you, returns to Repin and makes him fight with you after he gets to be the administrator of his children's fortune. You kill Repin and he gets rid of the little slugs in less than a year.”

“No, he would keep the slugs alive squeezing all the money he can from them.”

“Don't forget the part when he comes back and sells you all what he has from the Russians,” Ferdinand smirked.

“No, that's too straightforward for him. He makes an alliance with the third in power so he annihilates Repin's successor and Olga Fedorovna -let's don't forget she's still the wife and gets fifty percent of the legal money-and gets all for himself,” Konrad snickered.

“Your plan has a hole my friend. Knowing Roger as we do know, he would have done exactly what Guntram has done so he can play the victim later, forcing Repin to eliminate the wife by himself, if he ever wanted to have his angel back,” Ferdinand laughed.

“You're absolutely right, Ferdinand. You see? Guntram looks so much like him that I'm starting to forget what a snake Roger is.”

“A black mamba, my friend. But Guntram is nothing like him. Hear me well Konrad. This boy is not guilty of what his uncle did to you. Don't play with him. He's in mortal danger now.”

“I know, he has proven to me that he's loyal and honest. Some degree of brains and strategic planning ahead would be also desirable, but we can't have everything,” Konrad sighed. “He will be a good companion for me.”

“Just be careful. He's a decent kid; don't hurt him.”

“I'll be as gentle as I can. If not, Friederich will kill me. He has already adopted him as his own. Remind me to tell Antonov that he should keep his paws off the boy. He's mine only,” Konrad finished the talk.

'Poor boy! From a jealous maniac possessive Russian psycho to a jealous possessive German control freak! And don't forget the deranged Serb who thinks that he's his little brother. Protons and electrons, it's like Oblomov said,' Ferdinand thought, but decided to keep it to himself.

“Ferdinand, the third week in July is free?”

“Ask Monika, I'm not your secretary!”

“If you are not nagging me about something, then it's free. I'll take a few days off and go to San Capistrano. I'll fly to Sylt in August. Nice is too sunny and hot for my taste.”

“If you can take Michael with you, then I will have the perfect month,” Ferdinand said with a grin.

“Didn't I tell you? Michael will go with you to China. Cheer up, Ferdinand, it's only two weeks with him. Perhaps you can start to appreciate each other.”

The tall blond Russian couldn't yet decide if he should be furious with the Duke or not. First, the man had ruined all progresses the youth had done in less than twenty minutes. Guntram had flown to London in business class, sporty enduring the crowded VIP's lounge in the airport, taken all his tests with excellent grades, spoken with his former classmates and considered seriously to visit Tate's on his own. Small feats that two months ago were unthinkable.

Nevertheless, the Duke decided to “reward” the boy with an interview with the greatest monster he had ever met, pushing him to his limits. 'Lintorff is responsible that Guntram is a mess now. If he falls sick, it's his fucking fault.'

Alexei didn't know what else to do to get Guntram out of the dark silence he had fallen into after crying almost the whole night after his break up with Repin. 'I simply don't understand him. He does not love him, but still likes him to the point of feeling bad because he 'broke his heart'. As if that wolf could have a heart!' Guntram was again refusing to eat, mute and depressed, only obeying orders because if it were left to him, he wouldn't move a single finger by himself.

He was so sick the morning after the fight that the doctor recommended to postpone the flight for two days. When Alexei finally parked in front of the castle, he felt ten years older and wanted to strangle his employer.

Friederich had been shocked the moment he had seen the pale shadow standing miserably in the foyer; nothing comparable to the vibrant child he had seen good-bye just a week ago. The old man sent Guntram immediately to bed and stayed with him till he fell asleep.

Much to Alexei's satisfaction, Friederich had rebuked the Duke for his “incredible lack of vision, if we are to believe that you were acting in good faith.” He forbade him also to enter in the boy's room: “don't come to me now and tell that you regret your actions. Your duty was to protect him and the first thing you do is forcing him to face this monster! Did you even considered his health? No, you probably were looking for a way to weaken your enemy!”

Friederich soft voice could be heard through the thick walls when needed.

The Duke had tried to defend his position but the old man, Tutor, simply had ordered him to be quiet and reflect upon his actions “against a poor soul who never lifted a finger against you! You're a wolf circling the lambs and this is where I draw the line, boy! Guntram is the only person totally innocent in this game you've devised! Stay away from him!”

“Are you done, Elsässer? I'm taking him on July 12th to San Capistrano. The fresh air will do him good,”

Konrad finished the discussion.

Guntram de Lisle's Diary.

July 1st

I'm feeling much better since the fever is gone. After I returned from London, I caught the flu in the middle of the summer. One morning, I woke up running a very high fever and had to remain in bed for five days per the doctor's orders. I was terribly tired and sad that I was partly glad to be put out of hassle.

I was very surprised yesterday morning when I found Konrad sitting on the couch in front of my bed.

“How are you feeling?” he greeted me and I replied that I was much better than before.

“I'm glad. The flu can be very treacherous.” He checked my temperature by placing his hand on my forehead. “You're still warm. You were really sick last night. Wagemann considered seriously to take you to the hospital, but in the last minute, you reacted to the medications,” he told me affably.

“I don't remember it.”

“With 39º C, you should not remember much. You gave us quite a fright, Guntram.”

“I'm sorry.”

“Don't worry. I was thinking to fly for a few days to Rome, to San Capistrano for holidays and take you with me. You would like the property. It's in the Lazio and harbours most of our Renaissance collection. You will love it.”

I smiled at him tiredly and he sat on the bed, next to me. “It's very quiet, sunny and you could draw there in peace.” He told me in a gentle voice. “You're also very stressed and a change of air might do you well.”

“I broke up with Constantin,” I confessed. “I was very nasty to him.”

“Tell me one thing,” he told me very seriously and I looked at him expectantly. “Did your talk take place in the music room?” I nodded. “All right. There's a set of porcelain figures over the mantelpiece. They're from Fulda; a gift from the Bishop to our family, well to a Guttenberg Sachsen married to a Griffin. Did they survive?”

“Of course! I didn't throw anything!” I shouted, shocked.

“Then you were not nasty to him. To make Repin understand something, you have to hit him very hard. I know it by experience,” he said very kindly while he took my hand and lightly squeezed it.

“He still loves me and I kicked him out. He did everything he could for me and I repaid him with treason. I'm a very bad person.”

“There's nothing like a protocol for breaking up, Guntram. One part always turns out grieved and the worst you can say is “let's be friends” because the relationship never truly ends and that person thinks they might have a chance. A clear break is the best you can do. After all, no one dies on the eve, as the Spanish say. And let's do not lie to each other, sex and friendship don't mix well together.”

“But I don't want be the cause of further problems for Constantin!”

“This is very different from being friends. You don't want to feel responsible for his actions and why should you be? Do you really think he will calculate his next moves against me based on you? You're just an excuse to attack me. How we further continue our war is our sole concern.”

“I'm afraid he takes unnecessary risks on my behalf.”

“Repin is a worthy adversary Guntram. Concern yourself that he does something rushed to get you back against your wishes. Wouldn't be the first time he takes a lover against his will. Massaiev takes care of the selection process,” he sighed, still holding my hand. “I can only offer you my protection, Guntram, but you will have to remain with me.”

“I will return to Argentina after this year is finished,” I said clearly and withdrew my hand from his. Did he look upset for a second?

“You can't. The minute you step a foot outside this house or away from my protection, Repin will kidnap you and do whatever he wants with you, exactly as before, when you were living in London. If you're nice to him, you will get a golden cage and perhaps some freedom but if you refuse him, he will make your life or other people you care about lives miserable.”

“When I tried to kill myself he said he was going to kill father Patricio in return if I ever tried it again and I didn't want to risk to know if it was true,” I told him.

“Guntram, he's a mobster, a criminal with no qualms when it comes to his own needs and desires. By definition, he disregards all rules. I was sincere when I offered you my protection and affection and I trust that you will return those feelings to me,” Konrad said and I was speechless. He certainly knows how to make things clear.

“Konrad, I think we could be friends at some point. You're a good person and have helped me out of kindness, but, as you said, some things don't mix together well,” I said very slowly, choosing the words with infinite care.

He laughed at my face. “Guntram, the fever was really affecting you!” he chuckled. “Some “things”—

as you call them and I believe you're referring to sex—can't be rushed or forced. I'm not planning to exchange security for sex with you. I can obtain “that thing” at a much cheaper price and with more seasoned lovers, without jumping into a young man's bed. I only want your companionship and nothing else. The rest might come later or not.”

“Why are you interested in me? I'm practically a dork.”

He chuckled once more, louder. “Your propaganda ministry needs some restructuring, Guntram. Maybe I like you because you're “a dork”. You're intelligent but very naïve, honest, polite, generous and for some unknown reason, you don't grate my nerves like ninety-five percent of the people I know do. I haven't shared my life with anyone for the past fifteen years because all the lovers I had, were thinking more of themselves than of me. How can you share something with someone if they're already naming the price? They all want something from me, but you don't.”

“I would also want something from you; protection from Constantin,” I clarified, not liking a bit his reasoning.

“I know and I don't mind providing it. Your character is naturally selfless, peaceful and kind. The person who came here in February is not the boy who stands now in front of me.”

“I'm very grateful to you, Konrad. You have been almost like a father to me.” A big cold water bucket should do.

“Perhaps I'm practising with you,” he giggled, unaffected by what it's supposed to be the greatest turn-off phrase in mankind's history. “I'm considering very seriously in having children in the near future. I'm forty-six and soon people will tell that I'm an old spinster. You can stay single till you're forty, then people start to suspect.”

What? Not even two minutes ago he insinuated that we should have sex, well not really, come to think.

He says he can get better elsewhere, thank you very much! I'm not such a dry old bone to the cast away! One look from me and Constantin was set in flames and now he wants to marry? Poor woman and children!

“Are you going to get married?” I asked, still shocked at his audacity. Shameless prick!

“No, I couldn't stand a wife. I don't like women outside the bedroom. I said I want children and nowadays is possible to have them without the inconvenience of a wife. Before too, but you had to spend the rest of your life explaining your reasons and you had to adopt your own son so he could inherit you.”

“Konrad, I'm afraid you are not making any sense.”

“I need a gentle person at my side to counterbalance my domineering ways, as someone told me once.

Alone, I would be too much for any child. They need stability and love in their lives and they don't care if the love comes from someone not blood related to them. Look at Friederich and me. He's like a father to me and has coped with me for the past forty-two years. He will die in this house and I suspect that I will mourn him more than my own father. Friederich has always been there for me, without asking anything for himself. He wasn't very funny when it came to study or discipline, in fact, he was very stern, but he protected and loved me like no one else had done it before. I want that my children have the opportunity to share their lives with a generous person like I had. Their lives will not be easy, exactly as mine was and they will need someone who's there to show them the right way. My father's best present was to bring Friederich from Salzburg. I've seen you with the children on Easter Sunday and they like you and want to be with you. You could take care of my children and help me in their education.”

When he finished his explanation I was in shock, convinced that the fever had returned. “Are you offering me a nanny position for some non-existent babies?”

He was silent for a long minute and then he just said: “Essentially, yes I am.”

I just gaped like an idiot for a longer minute. “I know nothing about children,” I stuttered.

“Most people have no idea and have them, but you will get qualified help from a nurse for their menial tasks.”

“I know nothing about educating someone!”

“Don't you want to have children?”

“Yes, but my own ones; the normal way. Getting a nice woman to look after!”

“Life never turns out how we plan it, Guntram. Evaluate your real chances to get children on your own after one year. Let's assume that for some miracle you manage to avoid our Russian friends and escape to an X

country. You would need to start all over again, without money, friends or any kind of support. Get a new name, fake papers, and a low pay job as you have no special education of any kind. You would have to move every six months to escape the hounds after you. Perhaps Repin would grow tired in a year or two. Perhaps not, because for him this is a very cheap entertainment. How long would you last with your heart condition? A year? Two years? What would you do? Paint portraits in the streets? That's the first place where Repin's people would look. What about medical care?

You need it constantly and an insurance company to survive. The stress would kill you in less than a year. You've heard Dr. van Horn.”

“You said you would help me to get away from Constantin.”

“I said I would help you as long as you were a member and turning your back to us, by refusing to cooperate with your Hochmeister, is a serious crime bordering on treason. Of course, I would not punish you as I truly appreciate you and don't think that you could be a threat to us, but we would withdraw all our support. You will be on your own, Guntram.”

I felt like dying. Do what he wanted or take my chances with Constantin and I knew he wouldn't let me go. It was his way or the grave.

“You could be happy taking care of the children. Once they go to school, you could pursue your artistic career. I have nothing against it and I believe that you show great promise. You can paint here all what you want as long as the children are taken care of and happy. I'm sure the minute you see the babies, you will love them as if they were your own. We could reach an understanding between us and be happy together as friends or companions.” He bent his body over me and his right hand stroke my cheek in a tender gesture. I was frozen and slightly trembling under his caresses. His eyes took a warmer light and he smiled genuinely at me.

“You have some time to think about it. I would protect and cherish you as you deserve. You don't know how rare and precious you are for me. These past two months at your side made me realise that you're an excellent companion for me. For the first time in years, I long to come home every night, have dinner with you, speak with you or just have you around me while I work. I told you once that you reminded me very much to the man I loved, but it's not the case any more. Physically you two look the same, but you're very different to him and I prefer you a thousand times over him.”

I was mute and could only gape at him while he gently stroked my face and hair. I wanted to close my eyes to enjoy the feeling because he had been the first person that I had allowed to show me such tenderness. He bent over me and kissed me tenderly on my forehead, letting his lips linger over it longer than necessary. I held my breath and he smiled again at me in a very kind way, erasing my shock at the crude way he had declared to me. No, this can't be a love declaration, but it's certainly not what your future employer tells you in a job interview. Imagine, I was making a job interview on Easter Sunday and no one told me! At that point I was a mess and I returned his smile. His own smile broadened and he touched playfully the tip of my nose (that's certainly not sexy!) He rose from my bed and left the room.

I don't know what to think about. I'm as clueless as you can be. He's certain that I couldn't live on my own for too long. This bloody myocardial hypertrophy ruined my life more than Olga Fedorovna. Constantin was determined to get me back no matter the costs. I don't want to think what could have happened to me if our meeting would have taken place in another place that wasn't Konrad's house. It would be a madman's run against Constantin's men. I would be dead in less than four months.

I don't want to die. I want to live and paint. I want to have a life once more. I want to be able to look for a job, have a house of my own and raise a family. What all men want.

Konrad is offering me to be a part of a family, not my own of course, but a family nevertheless, continuing with my career and life.

If I'm alive again is because of him. He took me away from Constantin, even if he had his own selfish reasons , protected me, forced me to overcome my fears, and gave me a reason to live again.

He was always kind to me for whatever reason he might have.

He was responsible for my family's death.

Why did my father choose him as my tutor? I know this is true as I saw the documents he signed for Konrad so he could adopt me. In the letter he left for me he only wrote that he had cancer in a terminal phase and the illness forced him to make that decision; that everything had been a move against Konrad to get rid of him and that he was a good Hochmeister, worthy of his position.

I don't know what to do.

“What on Earth were you doing with the boy for so long? Friederich nearly shouted with the Duke when he left Guntram's bedroom. “He's sick! Leave him alone, Konrad!”

“I just explained to him what was expected from him. Didn't you want me to be honest with the lad?

Well, I was. He knows where he's standing and didn't refuse to contribute to the cause.”

“What did you tell him?” Friederich couldn't believe his former pupil's audacity and shamelessness.

“The same I told you. I want him as a companion and perhaps lover and that he takes care of my children exactly as you did with me. He could be a good friend.”

“Do you have any kind of feelings, Konrad?”

“Of course I do! But I'm not full of sentimentalism. In a way, he's perfect for me, has accepted our rules and soon will let go his grievances against me for that matter with his relatives. After all, he never met them and they never cared about him. Jerôme was very clever to keep him away from those rats.”

“I don't believe you.”

“Well, I had to clearly explain the consequences of leaving this house, as it was his original intention. He knows that without me, there's no possible life for him.”

“What if he rejects you? Will you be so heartless as to throw him to the hyenas?”

“It will not be necessary. He will love me. I'm certain of that. Like all orphans, his greatest desire is to have a family and I will provide one for him. Be glad Friederich, I'm settling down finally. You like him too.”

“My opinion about him has nothing to do with your behaviour, Konrad! Do you love him or is he one of your playthings?”

“I don't know, but I'm certain that I would like to spend the rest of my life in his company. He will be an excellent tutor for my children. So please, do not interfere and let me work my way with him. What do you prefer?

He, happy and in love with me, looking after my children or depressed, terrified and counting the days till February 2005?”

“He does not deserve to be treated like one of your pawns.”

“I swear that I will always treat him with my highest consideration. He's going to be my Consort.”

The old man only huffed his impatience and turned around, leaving Konrad alone.

July 12th 2004 Rome

San Capistrano

The Duke had preferred to leave a brooding Friederich at home even if he was planning to stay in Rome for a whole week. His former tutor's behaviour was grating to his nerves. Guntram didn't need to have a dragon at his side! Konrad was sick of the old man finding excuses to keep the boy away from him, interrupting them every ten minutes if they were alone. 'Friederich should be glad, I'm being perfectly honourable with the boy, offering the chance to form a family, cleaning my own closet and settling down, exactly what he has nagged me to do for the past seven years. Could he be jealous of Guntram? No, it's not that, he looks after him much more than me. Why can't he believe that I want to have the child? He's everything I wanted and, in a way, perfect for me. We complement each other. Does he really believe that I want to take revenge on a sick creature? That's beneath me! Guntram will be good for my children, but that's not his main concern! Bloody Roger, still making my life miserable after fifteen years! The minute I find him I'll take my time to kill him.'

“Is it big?” Guntram dared to repeat his question, while sitting in the private jet. He had been almost bouncing with excitement, happy to leave Zürich for something that wasn't related to school. Nothing wrong could happen in Rome. Constantin had no interests in the city and the time he had been there, he had loved the museums and St. Peter's.

“Pardon me?”

“The castle where we're staying: San Capistrano.”

“Yes, I suppose so. It's a family residence. One of the oldest we have. It was built around the XIII century and was used as fortress, monastery and from the XVII century onwards, as private residence for the Molinari family and ours. We inherited it, so to speak around 1675, I don't remember exactly, as donation from the first Griffin's consort to our founder's heir. Theodobald von Lintorff and Francesco Molinari are buried there, in the chapel.”

“How so?”

“When my family left Mecklemburg after the Thirty Years War, they went to Rome to ask for the Pope's protection. They were one of the last resisting against the protestant heresy, but we lost. We were clever enough as to keep our gold safe in Venice and Rome and the Pope granted his protection to us because of our services during the Teutonic Order times. Theodobald moved to Venice and he started to rebuild our Order along with many more exiled noblemen, changing our strategy. We will never support again an earthly government as they can only betray us, only our mother the Church. Of course, the pope sent a young and clever bishop to oversee what the Lintorff were doing because all this trade and banking, most appropriate for Jewish than for true Christians, couldn't be too good.

Francesco Molinari was one of his illegitimate children and I think he was a very clever man, immediately realising how fast the world was changing. While Theodobald was a ferocious warrior, he was a clever businessman and thought that we could obtain much more if we were supporting our own people and the newly born industry. We lent money to private people for much less than what the Fuggers or others were asking to Nation States. The money went into overseas trade, transforming manufactures and science. Francesco devised the idea that we all should form a society to protect our interests from Protestants and Muslims at this time. Later we realised that the Protestants were not so bad and good for the business and we accepted to do business with them. Our main problem was those Masons trying to destroy everything we believed in.”

“Theodobald and Francesco got along and he was named consort in 1656. They lived together for more than twenty-six years and Theodobald asked to be buried next to him after his early death, at forty-two years old.”

“That means he was a diplomat at seventeen?” Guntram asked very shocked.

“You were made general with fifteen if you were of noble birth, Guntram. Girls were married from thirteen years onwards,” Konrad chuckled softly. “Anyway, I believe that controlling a German nobleman in disgrace

-forced to work like a commoner-was not exactly a very sought after job. Being Ambassador to the Dux was a good position. Funny how history turns out, a second rate job, designed to keep a bastard busy and away from Rome, where he could have started to conspire against his father, was crucial to create a driving force in Modern Society. This young Italian established most of the rules we operate under and convinced my ancestor to start a new era. No one but us, remembers him, but I would dare say that we are who we are thanks to him. Industry was the future as we learned in the battlefield. We have to thank for that lesson to King Gustav Adolphus.”

“He and the Polish who threw out a Governor of the window, igniting the conflict,” Guntram said softly.

“They're more famous than poor Francesco,” Konrad smiled. “Good managers are never famous, but they're more important than good warriors, Guntram. You should never underestimate the power of the second line. A consort is an advisor, much more than momentary sexual adventure. He can yield a lot of power if the Griffin allows it. Some of them were very powerful, others preferred to step aside. Some of them were women and even participated in the meetings, some were lovers, others just advisers. My grandfather's consort was British and he convinced many of his fellow citizens to join us. Nothing between them, ever. I met him once when I was twelve years old and he was very old, living in England. According to my father, extremely clever man. His grandchild, Stephen Saint Claude is my CEO in London.”

“Konrad, I still don't understand why you need me.”

“Sometimes you don't need to understand things, just act upon them, Guntram.”

“I have no education; I'm not intelligent enough and have no money that could support you.”

“I don't need such things; I need others that you can provide. I need a personal companion, a Griffin's consort, but not an adviser for the Order. You will never be a part of our meetings or decisions, Guntram. Learn that from now onwards. Many years ago I swore to never let my personal life interfere with my duties as Hochmeister. It was a very hard lesson for me and I will not forget it. You can look after my children, teach them to be good and honourable persons, but you will never decide upon our policies.”

“I never wanted to be an advisor to anyone. I can't even advise myself! I haven't accepted your offer so far. Frankly, I don't believe that you could need me and I think that you're after something more. Life taught me that so much sugar is bitter in the end.”

“I'm not a sweet man and my offer is honest. You fulfil the requirements well.”

“Are you aware that I will not be able to “support you in the bedroom”? That even your doctor forbade me to have sex?” Guntram said very cynically, irked at his speaker's coldness in the subject.

“I only ask you that you respect, obey and are honest to me. Nothing else. The rest might come or not.

It's immaterial at this point,” Konrad answered very stiffly and then the idea came to his mind. “As I said, I can get

“bedroom support” anywhere else. I travel a lot, Guntram,” he said carefully, gauging the boy's reaction. Guntram's involuntary suffocated gasp, along with his pupil’s contraction confirmed what he suspected. The boy was already considering his offer and was hurt by his sentence.

“Of course, my Duke, but wouldn't you prefer to have something better at home? Something that could accommodate you?” Guntram retorted with a tense voice, unable to control his anger.

“No, a third person would be bad for the children. Our relationship must be sound in every aspect and fighting over some petty jealousies can't be good. If I ever share my bed with someone it would be for keeps. There are very nice hotels for the other matters. Mixing things is never good.”

'Does he live in this century? Taking your affairs to hotels? Lord, how old fashioned can he be?' “Most people nowadays have relationships and do it at home. Some of the parents were allowing his children to bring their girlfriends home for the night,” Guntram chortled in disbelief.

“Yes, girlfriends, not fiancées. There's a difference.”

“No one does things like that any longer.”

“How long do today's couples last? Half of the marriages dissolve after two years. This is because people don't consider things in advance.”

“And going to a hotel is better? How so?”

“The one you're with understands immediately that you're not seriously taking her or him. If they want something more, they refuse to come with you.”

“No one thinks on those lines, Konrad. You want to do it and you… just do it!”

“Really? Let me ask you a personal question. Where was your first time with Repin? Because he was your first one, right?”

It was Guntram's turn to blush deeply. “I don't see how this can be related to the subject,” he answered nervously.

“Answer the question and allow me to further elaborate.”

“Almost first time in my 19th birthday, in his flat in Buenos Aires and the real one in London, at Ilchester Place. I even saw you that day.”

“Were you ever in a hotel with him?”

“Yes, once for holidays in Montecarlo. Two nights,” Guntram laughed dryly.

“But you were an established couple?”

“We had been together for six months or so.”

“Then, I'm perfectly right in my assumptions. He considered it as a serious game and kept you in the upfront for his men. If you would have been just an adventure, he would have put you in a nice flat in London or taken you to a hotel in Buenos Aires, just to try the merchandise,” Konrad said with a broad smile. “How is it that you saw me in London? I don't remember seeing you.”

Guntram was glad to change the subject and answered quickly. “I was going out with Massaiev and you were arriving to a meeting because of Argentina's default. You were coming out of your car and I stood in the garden as I didn't want you to see me.”

“Why so?”

“You destroyed a full country just to make some money. You smuggled money out of it.”

“This is what he told you? Incredible.”

“Didn't you?”

“No, I lost money like many of us. We are recovering it with the many investments done in the midst of the crisis, but my main interest in the region is Brazil. We provided some solutions for the local oligarchies but nothing else. As usual, Repin was covering my name with mud.”

“Do you know that the soup kitchen where I used to work got no money from the state for five months?

We used to feed two hundred fifty children per day. How do you feel about it?”

“Don't blame me for your own government's lack of efficiency. You elected them, not I. Does this happen in our side?”

“You can't compare Europe with Latin America!”

“Yes, your elites are corrupt to an incredible point, ours are better controlled.”

“We are poor! We don't have any kind of industry! You Europeans kept our people like that!”

“First, you're European and descend from a long line of rulers. Second, don't give me the usual romantic story of ‘we are poor people, sitting on top of one of the richest natural resources country in the world, exploited by you, mean Europeans.’ You all started by selling raw materials in the XIX century. What did you do with the profits?

Industrial development? Infrastructure? Schools? Nothing. The Swedish also started by selling wood and timber in the XIX century but they reinvested their profits and now are a powerful industrial country. Norway's case is very similar.

Japan was a Feudal country till the XIX century. Even Russia and China; both paid a horrible price to become what they're now. Where were the Latin American elites? In Paris.”

Guntram was silent, his brain searching for arguments to refute the banker, but none came. “Still, it doesn't give you the right to go against people who never attacked you.”

“Guntram, if they had a fraction of my power, be sure that they would be against me. I keep a defensive strategy but if I see an opportunity, I seize it. Repin was very glad to be invited to the party and I guess he wants to establish some operative bases in Argentina.”

“You might be right, he was very good friends with Federico's mother, a Senator. I saw many well known people in his house,” Guntram admitted slowly. “They all wanted money from him.”

“That's the usual story for us. No one likes us for ourselves but for our check books, but that's a lesson I refuse to accept or believe in.”

“Pater Bruno or Pater Patricio in Argentina gave everything they had for unknown people. I met many others like them. You should be more out, Konrad; most people are not like you say. They have nothing compared to you, but give their work, time or money freely and gladly. It's not the amount what matters, but how you do it.”

“Maybe that's a lesson I'm interested to learn,” Konrad said in a soft voice, gauging carefully the boy's reaction. A nervous smiled played in the youth's lips and he blushed, returning all his attention to a “The Economist”

issue over the mahogany table. 'He does not oppose my advances. I have chances to get him in my bed too.'