CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

My breath strained in my lungs, as they were chilled from the foreign substance that ran through my veins. The ice ran through my body for the last time and then rapidly diminished. My heartbeat slowed to a steady and even rhythm. I opened my eyes and saw it was night. My body stopped convulsing. The pain seized to a halt. I could feel warmth from my heart pumping something new through my veins. It felt good. I felt more alive than I had ever felt.

I glanced around the room. A faint floral scent lingered in the room. It was a vampire. My eyes were still adjusting. A silhouetted figure stood motionless in front of the window. The room was dark with the exception of the moonlight gleaming through the window. I glanced at the clock. It was three a.m. How long had I been out? I wasn‟t even sure what day it was.

I pushed my way up from the bed. A moan escaped my mouth. The figure turned.

In a blinding flash it was by my side.

“Julie?” It was a female. The tones in the voice were almost undetectable. But it sounded like Casey.

“Casey?”

“Yes. How do you feel?” She spoke quietly in the dark.

“Like I got hit by a truck.” Then it suddenly hit me. “Where‟s Daniel? Richard?

What happened? Brendan?” I moved into a sitting position.

“Daniel is sleeping. Jason had to give him a sedative. You‟ve been out with this for three days. This is the first night Daniel has had any sleep. Richard and Nathaniel are downstairs.” Her voice was still soft and alluring.

“Casey, what happened? Please start from the beginning.” I asked as I peered into the darkness at her silhouette.

Casey inhaled a deep breath then began.

“Richard received a phone call. It was Daniel. That was Thursday night. He had come home early to surprise you. You were not there, so he assumed you were with us.

When Nathaniel and I arrived shortly around noon, I couldn‟t find you. Your car was gone, and you wouldn‟t answer your phone. Richard was so distraught he could barely think straight. I‟ve never seen him that way before.

“Richard grouped all of us together. We went out looking for you at the old airport hangar. Daniel met with the other Lycans. When we arrived at the airport hanger, all hell broke loose. It was like World War III. I felt as though I was in one of those James Bond movies. Nathaniel, Raphael, Adrianna and Leona took the outside of the hanger.

Lance, Richard and I made our way inside. Daniel and the rest of the Lycans took down the rest of the werewolves with the others.

“Richard, when he saw you lying on the floor next to the wall, lost it. He went on a blood lust. One of the men was bold enough to tell Richard he was the one who beat the hell out of you. Richard tore him from limb to limb. Lance and I were making our way taking out the gunmen. Shots were fired randomly through the building. Richard was the one who carried you out to safety through all the gunfire. Lance and I managed to cover him.

“Lance went after Brendan, but he got away before Lance could catch him. We regrouped with Daniel and the others here. That‟s when we meet your cousin Taylan and your Grandfather Willie. Anyway, you were in bad shape. Daniel was terrified as the rest of us were. He blamed himself for your untimely torture. He and Jason worked around the clock to try and stabilize you. Then try to figure out what to do about the werewolf venom.

“Daniel tried the same technique he did with me on you. Somehow, your system was not accepting it. There were complications. Jason figured your DNA was not the same as ours. The werewolf venom was still running through your system and we were running out of time. Julie, we all feared the worse. We were losing you. Richard, I had never seen him in such turmoil. He was more devastated than Daniel. He suggested he try. Well, Daniel and Richard began a heated argument. I couldn‟t believe it. Richard made the suggestion he bite you and try to remove the venom. Daniel blew a fuse and said he didn‟t trust him. He would try to turn you into one of us, a vampire.

“Jewels, I know under the conditions it was serious. But they were so mad with each other it was actually hilarious. Daniel told Richard to step outside so he could promptly beat his ass.” She laughed.

“Casey, please tell me they didn‟t get into a fight!”

Casey nodded then laughed softly. “Daniel and Richard went outside and tore into one another. It took Lance and Jason to split them apart. I have never seen my brother so mad before. I honestly don‟t think anyone won. They pretty much beat the hell out of one another.

“Anyway, Jason agreed Richard should at least try. It was the only hope we had of saving you. Your cousin Taylan offered to be the blood donor. He was the only one with your blood type. So in short, here you are.”

“Casey, the baby!” I exclaimed.

“Julie,” her voice was soft. “Your body went through a horrible process.”

“Casey!” I shot out.

“We, all of us, are a little unsure at this point. Jason says because your body was healing so rapidly, he was sure the baby was safe. Julie, we still don„t know how the vampire venom will affect the baby.”

“What do you mean? The baby is fine right?” My voice trembled

“Listen to me. You were bitten by a werewolf. The venom was running through you. Jason tried the antivenom, and it wasn‟t working. We had to get the venom out of you. Richard had a suggestion. It was the only way.”

“What did he do?”

“Daniel almost lost his mind when he thought he was going to lose you. You have no idea what he went through. Actually, you have no idea what torment Richard went through. Daniel had to make the choice to let Richard bite you. Draw the venom out. If he didn‟t, we would have lost you to the werewolves. Richard bit you. He allowed just enough of the vampire venom to flow in your veins creating an unstable atmosphere for the werewolf venom. Then he drew it out. You have no idea what Richard did for you.

Julie, werewolf venom is toxic to a vampire. Richard almost died. After that, Jason hooked you up to the IV with the blood transfusion. Then he immediately had to begin working on Richard.” Her voice filled with sadness.

I stared into her face through the darkness of the room. The sadness in her voice was the reflection I thought would be on her face. Richard saved my life. I couldn‟t believe it. He did risk his life to save me. Like he said he would. My heart melted.

“Is he all right?”

“Yes. He‟s recovered nicely. Julie, I have to tell you this. Richard is in love with you.

I mean an unfathomable love. Nathaniel tells me he‟s never seen Richard like this before.

What happened between you two while I was away? I mean are you and Daniel still getting married? What?”

“Yes, Casey. Daniel and I are still getting married. At least I think we are. I don‟t know what brought this on. I mean, I feel for Richard.”

“Do you love him? I mean honestly.”

The truth was there in my heart. Yes, I did love Richard. I loved him and Daniel.

There was no doubt in my mind. A vampire should repulse me, but for some odd reason, I wasn‟t repulsed.

“Yes, I love him.” I stated with a sigh.

Her hands wrapped around mine. The once warm hands of my best friend were now cool. A soft smile broadened on her face, and her pale cold fingers gently stroked my hand.

“Don‟t feel bad about it. I know he‟d like to know the truth. Julie, it‟s not your fault.

You are a Lycan. You love unconditionally. It‟s in your nature. But, you have to let him know. Richard, I mean, if you are marrying Daniel. I know that is really where your heart belongs.”

“Yes, you are right. But how can I love them both? I mean my heart breaks for Richard. Casey, he‟s been through so much. I can‟t hurt him anymore.”

“So I see he‟s told you about his loss.” She sighed and pulled her hands away.

“Honestly, I‟m surprised he fought the urge to change you. I overheard a conversation he had with Nathaniel. Julie, Richard wants you. There is nothing in this world that will stop him.”

I lay back against the pillows. My fingers gently went to the sore spot on my neck, the spot where he had bitten me. I realized he did have to make a choice. Again Richard showed honor. His restraint was a great one.

“Casey, what do I do?”

“I don‟t know. I wish I had an answer for you.”

“Are you really serious? Richard is not going to let me go?”

“He‟s in love with you Julie. It‟s different for a vampire. Somewhere you have touched his heart.” She smiled. “You were probably just being you.”

I tried to smile. “He says it was my blood?”

“Blood or lust?” She perked up. “Julie, Richard has had a hard on for you ever since he met you. He was going to take you the first opportunity he had. But something changed.”

“You knew this before you left?”

“No. I didn‟t. Nathanial and I discussed it on the way back home.”

“Daniel would kill him.” My heart raced loudly.

“I think he and Daniel have an understanding. Daniel is truly thankful Richard saved your life. He knows Richard loves you.”

“Did he say anything about it? I mean…”

“No, not really. My brother is in love with you, but Richard repulses him because he‟s being protective over you. And not to mention he is a vampire.” She rolled her eyes.

“We had quite an event here in this house while you were out.” She said in a humorous tone.

“OH! I need to talk to Daniel!” My thought immediately went to the Dark Wolves.

“Julie, please let him rest. This is the first night he has slept in two days.”

“But the Dark Wolves.”

“He knows. Richard told him. Daniel understands. Willie and Taylan explained everything to him. He has had quite a shock these last few days.”

“What is he going to do? I mean about the war against the Dark Wolves.” I asked almost in fear.

“I don‟t know. You‟ll have to talk to him in the morning. Meanwhile, I‟m going to get Jason. He wanted to know when you woke up.”

“Casey!” I whispered.

“I‟ll be back in a minute,” she said.

Before I could say anything, Casey disappeared. I felt for the lamp on the nightstand. Turning it on, I winced against the brightness of the light. Three days of hell.

I needed a shower. I climbed out of bed. My legs were weak. I managed to stand, then make my way to the shower. Jason would have to wait.

The water ran hot in the shower. I climbed in and closed the door behind me. My thoughts ran wild. My baby. Our baby. Was it all right? There were so many things to think about. The war that loomed between the werewolves and the Lycans threatened us all. It appeared the vampires might be backing out, with the exception of Richard‟s coven. Then there were the Dark Wolves. My family. Which side would Daniel take?

Would he go against the Dark Wolves, the only blood relatives I had left? I knew the side I would take. I was sure of it.

In the middle of my own turmoil, I heard the bathroom door open.

“Julie?” It was Casey.

“Yeah, give me a minute. I‟ll be out soon.” I shouted to her through the glass.

“Jason is waiting. He wants to check you over.” She replied a little louder. The tones in her voice stung my ears.

“Okay! Tell him just a minute,” I yelled out again.

The shower was rushed, as was my dressing. When I was completely dressed, I checked the clock. It was 4:30. I could hear Jason downstairs talking softly with Casey and Nathaniel. Somewhere I wondered if Richard was still here. Slowly I moved down the stairs. Jason was sitting in the chair, while Nathaniel and Casey were sitting together on the sofa. My heart froze. Richard stood in front of the fireplace. The expression on his beautiful face was sad. His eyes lifted to me as he saw me walking down the stairs into the living room.

There were no words spoken. His gaze never left mine as I moved closer into the room. I felt my heart freeze in time. There was an overwhelming feeling of love surrounding me, a sudden rush of excitement, followed by pure love. Richard‟s body stiffened. It was as if no one else were in the room but the two of us. We were locked in a moment of time.

Richard moved to me. He appeared to be in slow motion. My heart fluttered inside my chest, and a feeling of pain and turmoil encamped around my heart and soul. His inhumanly beautiful form stood inches in front of me, reaching out to me. He took me in his arms and I couldn‟t do anything but respond to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he held me tight to him, his heart pounding against my chest. Slowly he pulled away from me.

The pale fingers trembled as they touched my face. His eyes peered into mine. Joy filled his face and he smiled broadly.

“Richard…” I began softly.

“Don‟t.” He cut me off. “Please do not thank me again. Do not ever put yourself in that position. I am not strong enough at this point to mind my manners,” he stated in a firm yet commanding voice.

I understood. The feelings he had swept over me like a strong wind. I felt the very essence of his being. There was no warmth, but cold. The love, however, was true.

Richard was undeniably in love with me. His love showered over me like a pouring rain.

It had to be some type of connection we made when he took my blood. At least that is what I believed. I have never felt him like this before. When he took my blood, he took my very existence, the intimate life force that dwelled inside of me.

“Casey said you almost died.” My eyes peered into his. I wanted to know why he did such a thing.

“Yes, well let us just say werewolf venom does not exactly work well on a vampire‟s stomach. I must say, your blood was rather tasty though.” He let out a chuckle.

A smile crossed my face. “Food poisoning, huh? Then my blood will not be tempting you any longer?”

Richard really didn‟t want me to know how severe it was for him. A smile crossed my lips, and I raised my eyebrows as I peered into his beautiful face.

“I bet it‟s one of those things like food poisoning. You probably won‟t want to do that ever again.” I teased.

Richard let out a laugh, then nodded. His eyebrow rose and a wicked grin crossed his lips. “I suppose you could say it was like food poisoning. And you are right. The experience has left me with being a little shy of ever biting you again. However, you can never tell. I am a slow learner,” he warned as his lips twitched into a smile.

I could feel the heat on my cheeks. He was so beautiful. His eyes, those beautiful crystal blue jewels twinkled with delight.

“All right then,” Jason began as he cleared his throat. “Julie, I need to give you a once over. We will need to do an ultrasound as soon as possible.” He pointed to the chair for me to sit down.

I moved around Richard. His fingers brushed over mine as I moved past him, relishing the touch of my skin against his. My heart broke as I sat down in the chair.

Jason opened his black bag and pulled out several items. One of which was to check my blood pressure. I waited and remained quiet while he checked my vitals. Then the pen light moved in front of my eyes. I jerked my head away as the light hit my eyes. Jason immediately stopped. He froze.

I heard Richard and Casey inhale a quick breath. My heart raced out of fear, I waited to hear the unexpected news. The light felt like a knife had been shot through my eye. It hurt all the way to the back of my head. I turned slowly back to Jason.

Jason grabbed my face with his hand. He tilted my head up and stared into my eyes. The look of shock was all over his face.

“What! What‟s wrong?”

“Julie, your eyes. Dear lord.”

“Jason!” I growled out.

“It appears your eyes are sensitive to light.” He turned immediately to Richard.

“It is the effects of the vampire venom. She will be all right. It will go away in a day or two. She will probably need to wear sunglasses for the time being,” he stated firmly.

“Is that all I need to be concerned about?” Jason glared at Richard.

“Yes,” Richard hissed at Jason. “It is a normal reaction. She is not turning into one of us, if that is what you are asking.”

“I just want to make sure,” Jason stated flatly. “I need to take a sample of your blood, just a precaution. To make sure you don‟t have any foreign substances crawling around in there.” He motioned for me to hold out my arm.

I glanced to Richard and his eyes narrowed. I could tell he was not very pleased with Jason‟s doubts of his honor. I tried to force out a smile, but winced as the needle pierced my flesh. Richard‟s jaw tightened. He was restraining himself. From the corner of my eye, I saw Nathaniel grab Casey‟s arm. In a flash, the two of them were gone. The door opened and closed to the patio faster than I could have imagined. Richard however, remained. It was blood.

“Sorry,” I stated flatly, while watching the patio door.

“Casey, I am afraid, is still settling in. She will be fine,” Richard stated in a controlled voice.

“And you?” I reminded him.

“I will manage.”

Jason was finished, and set the vial of blood in his medical bag. He stood up wearily, taking one more glance at me, then smiled. “It appears everything is all right for now. No hemorrhaging?” he asked.

I shook my head.

“Then as soon as we can, we will get that ultra sound done. I want to make sure the wee one is all right. I‟m sure it didn‟t appreciate what your body went through.” He smiled.

“Jason, I didn‟t really appreciate it.” I returned his smile.

“Well, I‟m headed back to bed for a nap. I‟m sure Daniel will be up in a few hours. I gave him enough sedative to knock out a horse yesterday evening. The poor lad needed some rest.” He turned, then headed up the stairs.

Richard turned to me, eyeing me carefully and almost cautiously. I couldn‟t help the feelings I had. I could feel myself being drawn to him in the most precarious ways.

“Richard,” I began. “Is there something else to this vampire venom I need to know about? Like the effects.”

He released a long sigh. “Maybe.” He paused. “Your eyes will adjust in a day or two. I think that is all you need to worry about.”

“What about this odd feeling I‟m having?” I asked.

Richard‟s eyebrows crinkled together briefly. “And what odd feeling would that be?” He crossed his arms over his chest.

“It‟s just…I well…” How could I explain it? I wondered. “It‟s like a connection to you.”

“The connection? It is your blood. I feel it too. I feel you inside of me. Living.

Breathing. I feel your heart with each beat it takes.” His gaze became deeper as he moved to me. “The longing.”

“Richard, stop.” I pleaded. “I can‟t do this.”

His gaze left mine. Turning his head, his attention fell in the distance beyond the patio door. I could feel the heart inside of his body. It was breaking, pulled and torn into pieces.

“I suppose you are correct. Your heart belongs to Daniel. As does your love,” he replied softly. “The sun is going to be coming up in a few hours. I think it best if I return home.”

I rose to my feet as he turned and slowly walked past me to the front door. There was no way I could let him leave. Not feeling the way I was feeling. The venom was more than what he was telling me. At least in my mind, that was what I wanted to believe.

“Richard,” I called out to him. He stopped as his hand touched the door handle. “I

… know what you are feeling.” I moved slowly toward him.

Richard turned to face me, his eyes searching mine. Was this the answer he was seeking? Some type of answer to quench the desire in his heart? A satisfaction for all those years he waited? Standing in front of him, I could not deny at that moment that I loved him. My heart was bleeding for him. I wanted to show him how much I loved and appreciate him. In my heart, I wanted to give him the love he so longed for.

I reached out to him, touching his face softly. His eyes closed as his face pressed against my hand. The pain in his heart was overbearing. It twisted my heart even more.

Yet, I couldn‟t help my own desire to try to soothe him.

“Julie,” he began softly. “Take care of yourself.” He took my hand in his. He brought it to his face. Richard pressed his lips to my fingers, allowing the kiss to linger for a moment, savoring it. Then he let go of my hand, and his fingers slid across mine slowly as he turned away. The heart inside my chest felt the closing pressure as I watched him walk away. My heart immediately dropped into the pit of my stomach.

I stood in front of the door, my arms wrapped around my body and tears forming in my eyes. The inhumanly beautiful vampire had walked out of my life. I could feel it.

Richard was not ever planning on seeing me again. He knew the love I could give him wasn„t enough to satisfy him. The floodgate opened as I watched Casey and Nathaniel wave goodbye. I would see Casey again. But not Richard.

The sun rose causing my eyes to sting and burn as I finally backed away from the front door. It was only then I realized I had been standing in one spot in total numbness for three hours. Where had the time gone? How could I just remain standing there like that in one thought? One heart wrenching thought. Richard.

The memory of our last moments played over in my mind. Remembering the sadness in those beautiful eyes, the crushing pain in his heart and the longing he felt and my heart finally broke. The pain gripped me, ripping my soul apart. I turned and headed back to the stairs. Hot tears fell from my eyes. The pain was intolerable. I gasped for breath as my hand slapped over my mouth. My body became weak, trembling as the waves of the oceans crashed against my wearied heart. How much more pain could I endure?

Slowly I dropped to the floor. The tears continued. The shattering pain blistered against me. No, I couldn‟t fight it anymore. The storm threatened to wail out of me once again.

Footsteps were heard as they stepped slowly down the staircase. Even through my own tears and stuffy nose, I could recognize Daniel‟s scent, the spicy masculine fragrance I so enjoyed. My watery eyes lifted to him as he sat down on the step. Gently Daniel reached for me, pulling me close into his arms. My very heart and soul were tormented. Swells of the ocean‟s storms beat down against me. Its winds, hurricane in strength, terrorized the very seat of my emotions, ripping and tearing me from beginning to end.

Daniel pressed a kiss on top of my head and the warmth of his body pressed close to mine. Softly, gently he whispered words into my ear. My love. My angel. He cooed sounds of assurance and I cried even harder. Feeling the pain once again of a broken heart. Was there no end to what my heart could endure? Was there no salvation for the brokenness that I had succumbed to? My heart broke for Richard. Fate help, but I loved Richard. Daniel, as much as I would have wanted to keep this from him, knew. The words I never expected to hear were spoken clearly as I grieved.

“Julie, my love, I know you love him,” Daniel whispered softly. “I can feel that love in your heart.”

Hot tears ran down my cheeks as I raised my weary head. My watery eyes barely focused on his face. His fingers wiped the tears away from my face. The remnants of my heart still ached inside. What could I say? How could I explain these feelings to the man I loved? Did he know better than I?

I opened my mouth to make some sort of comment. It was only the right thing to do. Daniel gently pressed his finger over my lips. Leaning forward he pressed his lips against mine softly. Then he pulled me closer to him, closer to his heart.

He inhaled a deep and ragged breath. “You really cannot blame Richard for falling in love with you. I mean, you are the most desirable woman I have ever met. I guess you would be considered desirable to any man. Vampires included.” He chuckled softly.

“Daniel, what are you trying to say?” I couldn‟t bother with reading his thoughts.

The thoughts in my head were enough to deal with.

“What I am trying to tell you is this; I understand. Jewels, I know you love Richard.

It is only natural for you. You have the heart of a wolf. I know you are not in love with him. There is a distinct difference. A difference I can tell and feel. Your heart belongs to me. As long as I have that, I am a happy man. Besides, Richard looks like he needs a little piece. Not yours, of course. I mean I would have to kill him for sure if it came to that.”

For some reason, I hesitated on Daniel‟s last sentence. A frown crossed my forehead. The comment would have probably been taken more seriously if Daniel‟s lips had not twisted into a grin. Yes, it was not a piece of my heart Daniel was implying Richard needed. My eyes widened in surprise. Daniel let out a chuckle.

“Daniel!” I snorted and pushed away from him.

Daniel roared out in laughter. “What? What did I say?”

“I really thought you were being nice to Richard,” I snapped out.

Daniel continued to laugh. “Julie, I am a male wolf. What did you expect?”

“Ass!” I huffed out then stood up. My stomach growled loudly. Daniel‟s eyebrows rose. The twinkles in his eyes told me something was coming. I just didn‟t know what.

“We need to find you something to eat before that stomach of your jumps out and grabs a body or two.”

For once, my feelings were soothed. I shook my head as Daniel‟s arm went around my waist. He guided me in a little more hurried motion than I would have liked to the kitchen. My heart was so full. There was no way I could explain how much I loved Daniel. For once, I was beginning to believe we really did understand one another.

Daniel understood the compassion and capacity of my heart. He understood how I could love someone so deeply and unconditionally. I didn‟t have to “fall in love”. Love was just a factor of life for me.

Foremost, I was finally beginning to see Daniel‟s point of view. Daniel wasn‟t just a male. He was an Alpha Male, providing protection and leadership. These were the things Daniel regarded as his duty. His odd sense of humor had grown on me, and I knew this was just a part of him. Even if it did appear he was being asinine, I was learning how to enjoy his humor.

Everyday our bond was growing. We were developing a beautiful relationship. The closer we became, the more love and understanding we shared. Even now, I understood how I could love them both.