3.
Gordie Joiner, an only child, aged
nineteen, was not minding the rain. He took it as affirmation of
his own melancholy and did not let it alter his unhurried course,
but continued in a northerly direction along the cinder path. It
was slightly past one, and he had nowhere he needed to be. Not this
day, nor the next. Nor, for that matter . . . but it did no good to
think along those lines. Only when his dog cast him a series of
questioning looks, head cocked, mouth ajar, and then gradually
lagged behind him, ultimately declaring her reluctance by coming to
a stop, legs slightly splayed, in the middle of the path, did he
relent.
“All right. Sissy.”
Ebie, who was mostly Newf—that enormous,
double-coated breed famous for having both the ability and instinct
to perform water rescues—was not a sissy. She relished being in
water, any form of water—ocean, river, pond, bathtub—anything
except rain.
Now she swung about, her wild approval of the
decision to retreat making a puppy of her. Somehow an ear had
become inverted, giving her a ridiculous, spastic look. She glanced
over her shoulder: Coming? Her tail knocked out raindrops
right and left. Gordie caught up, smoothed down her ear and gave
her rump a tap. She sallied forth erect, all bearish one hundred
thirty pounds of her. The rain fell greenly, pocking the remnants
of crusty snow that banked the curving, riverside path.
He did a double take when, coming around the bend,
he saw Ebie take off from the path and trot—for a moment it looked
like this—out across the water, messiah-like. Then he blinked and
squinted through the rain, which had become a downpour, and his
perception was corrected: she was in fact picking her way across a
spit of rocks that jutted some fifteen yards straight out into the
river. Gordie’s confusion at this unlikely sight was compounded
almost immediately by another, that of a peculiar figure at the
very end of the spit: a dwarf in hooded cape. Or child in large
green parka. Ebie’s Newf instincts, however partial, however
misplaced, had kicked in: she was off to the rescue.
Gordie whistled for her, one sharp commanding note,
knowing even as he did that it was futile. When she sensed danger,
she would not be dissuaded. He sighed and began to climb down onto
the rocks himself, then froze. Ebie, too, had stopped, just three
or four feet from the child, who seemed not to have noticed the
advent of company. He or she seemed to be holding an object in one
hand, and with the other hand scooping and throwing . . .
something, toward the water. Ashes, from the look of it,
fine, dark ashes and a few chunks of something denser, bone. Gordie
would not have known if he hadn’t done it himself that
winter.
For the first time since he’d started this walk, he
felt the cold. His oversized jacket—really a heavy, woolen
lumberjack shirt that had been his dad’s—was finally soaked through
at the shoulders, and the thighs and cuffs of his jeans, all
drenched to the skin.
Ebie moved then. He could tell she meant to use her
head, her bulk, to nudge this person away from the edge of the
spit, toward dry land.The rocks out there at the edge must have
been more slippery than she’d judged. He saw first his dog slip—her
paw faltered and went out from under her—and then, as she scrambled
with canine dexterity to gain a solid foothold, he saw her shoulder
plow against the child’s legs, and the child’s legs buckle at the
knee. There was a vanishing and a splash, and he could not have
said which came first, they happened so fast.
The child didn’t go underwater, at least not all
the way. Her head—he could see now it was a she—remained visible,
and an arm, one bare hand clinging to the jagged rock upon which
she had been standing. Behind her, on the water’s shimmering
surface, something pale appeared to float momentarily, and then was
gone. Ebie, her own singular shortcomings now in full display,
declined to go in after the girl but half stood, half sat anxiously
at the water’s edge, wagging her tail as if in mad apology or
frantic encouragement: a real hero manqué.
Gordie leaped off the path onto the crescent of
sand and tore out across the rocks. He had a light body, a wiry
build, and managed the uneven surface nimbly; even so, he almost
lost his footing twice. At the end of the spit, he squatted beside
Ebie and thrust out an arm. The girl’s face was white, stunned,
bluelipped. She did not take his hand, but tried to heave herself
up on her own, scrambling with her feet against the submerged part
of the rock. He thought she had it, but in the end she slipped
back, this time going all the way under. Gordie plunged his arm
into the water and grabbed the hood of her parka. He pulled her
above the surface and she spluttered and blinked, appearing, even
through her chattering, rather affronted by this intervention. But
Gordie got a two-handed grip under her arms and hoisted her
out.
She stood bent, shivering and dripping on the
rocks. She looked to be eight or nine, he thought—he was no good at
telling, really—and had on heavy work boots, jeans, and the
oversized parka, which must have weighed a ton. She looked at him
with light brown eyes he found disconcerting; she did not appear
aloof, exactly, so much as unduly composed.
“Is someone here with you?”
She shook her head. Gordie looked around rather
stupidly, as though she might be mistaken, but there was no one
else in the pelting rain, only the two of them and the dog.
“Well—God, I’m sorry about this. Look, my jacket’s
a little drier than yours—you’re obviously freezing—please.” He
slipped off the woolen lumberjack shirt and made a fairly hapless
movement, as if miming tugging at the sleeve of her parka. He
supposed he ought not actually undress a strange child. “You should
take that off,” he urged, “and we’ll get you—well, a
little—warmer.” She fumbled at her zipper, but her fingers were
stiff with cold; it wouldn’t budge. She surprised Gordie by
extending both arms, wrists turned skyward, in a gesture that
clearly meant do it for me. So he unzipped her, conscious of
Ebie wagging and whining softly beside him, and eased the parka off
her shoulders. It slid from her slight frame and sunk to the rocks,
leaded with water. Ebie took a step toward the girl and licked her
palm.
“You’re a bumbling oaf,” Gordie informed the
dog, draping his woolen shirt over the girl’s shoulders.The pattern
was a large plaid of green, red, and black. “I really am sorry,” he
repeated.
“W-w-what for?”
He leaned back and squinted at her. She had her
hand on Ebie’s neck, her fingers buried deep in Newfie fur. “Well,
because she’s my dog. Not that she meant to knock you in. I think
she was trying to herd you away from the water. It’s her lifeguard
instinct. But she’s a bit of a clod. Really, I’m to blame. Look, my
God, you’re freezing. Do you live around here? We should bring you
home. My name’s Gordie Joiner. Can I give you a ride? Or call
someone?” As he spoke he scooped up her sodden parka and attempted
to usher her back over the spit to land. She let herself be brought
along. With one hand hovering lightly on her shoulder, steering, he
could feel her shivering violently through the jacket. They went
slowly, under the press of rain, so as not to lose their footing.
Once on the little slice of beach, Ebie gave herself a mighty
shake, firing droplets three hundred and sixty degrees, and the
girl surprised Gordie again by laughing at this.
“Look. Let me take you home, yeah? I’m parked in
the lot.”
The girl shook her head.
“You just—you really need to get warm. I know you
don’t know me,” he repeated.
“’S-s-s-s not that.” Her teeth were going like mad;
it was an effort to make out her words. “B-b-b-b-biked.”
Gordie looked around for the bicycle.
“Th-there.” She jerked her chin in the direction of
the lot.
“No problem. I’ve got a station wagon.”
They climbed up the bank to the path, using the
knobbly tree roots as grips. Gordie whistled for the dog, who
clambered along belatedly and then, with an air of saving face,
barged out in front at a trot, as though she’d suddenly remembered
she was supposed to be guiding this tour. They made their way back
without talking.
Gordie was nearly certain of what he had witnessed:
the girl had been flinging ashes into the river. He tried to unhook
the act from its most obvious, funereal interpretation. There
could, after all, be other reasons a person might toss ashes.
Though none came to mind.
He studied the girl surreptitiously. How old
was she? He’d have thought seven or eight from size alone,
but her bearing was decidedly older. Her hair was plastered wetly
to her head. His dad’s plaid jacket hung to her knees: a clown suit
on her, within which she remained inscrutable. Anyway, it was the
middle of a day on a Friday—why wouldn’t she be in school? He
considered whether she might be a runaway, an orphan, perhaps. He
wanted to ask her about those ashes.
At the lot she showed him the bike propped against
a tree, and Gordie hoisted it toward his dad’s station wagon, one
of only two cars that remained, the weather having chased most
visitors away.The other vehicle was a brown Buick. With a glance he
could just make out, past its streaming windows, an elderly couple
eating sandwiches. They looked cozy, dry, unhurried. The sight
brought him up short, riddled him with feeling. He didn’t know what
to do about it, besides look away and open up the back of his dad’s
station wagon. The middle seat was already folded down flat, with a
dirty fleece blanket spread across. He stowed the bike, arranging
it horizontally on top of the blanket. Ebie whined, gave a short
bark. “Hush,” said Gordie. “You’ll have to squeeze.”
She whined again.
“Go on, get in.”
“Why can’t she ride up front?” asked the girl, her
longest utterance by far.
“Oh, she’ll be all right. You go ahead and get in.”
But only after Gordie had coaxed Ebie in next to the bike did the
girl comply.
“So what’s your name?” he asked once he’d sat,
turned on the ignition, and blasted the heat. The car still smelled
of cigarettes. He did not mind this for himself—the smell had used
to bother him, but these past few months he’d come to like it, even
to hope it might linger forever—but for the first time, because of
the girl, he was sorry about it, self-conscious.
She drew a breath and paused. She still looked
tiny, wan, half drowned, but color was beginning to come back into
her lips and cheeks. She also still looked, for one so small and
sodden, uncannily poised. But in the protracted silence, he began
to wonder if she felt unsafe with him, now that they were in the
car with the doors closed and the cigarette smell.
“Or, I mean, of course you don’t have to tell me. I
know I’m a strange . . . a stranger.” He’d been about to say
“strange man,” but it sounded ridiculous, a phrase from a police
blotter. “All I really need to know is how to bring you
home.”
“No,” said the girl, regarding him thoughtfully.
“It’s not that you’re dangerous. I was just thinking what name to
tell you.”
Gordie was a little deflated by her cool
assessment. He covered his embarrassment with an attempt at wit.
“You have an assortment?”
She sighed. “I have a nickname and a real
name.”
“Got it.”
“Biscuit and Elizabeth,” she explained.
“Right. Well, like I said, I’m Gordie.” He jerked a
thumb toward the back. “And that’s Ebie.”
They both turned toward the dog, who responded to
the sudden attention by jutting her face forward, open-mouthed. A
great hammock of saliva hung from her upper lip.
“You’re very big,” Biscuit told her. Ebie responded
to this statement by closing her enormous mouth for several
seconds. Then she resumed panting. “I live on Depew,” Biscuit told
Gordie, turning. “You know Depew? Across from the park.”
Gordie nodded and pointed the station wagon up the
hill. “Your parents know you’re out here, Elizabeth?” As soon as he
heard himself say it, he knew it was wrong—both the assumption that
she had parents (he of all people ought to know better), as well as
the way it made him sound like a truant officer.
But she replied simply, “Yes.”
“So”—he cleared his throat again—“sorry, but—I have
to ask: What were you doing out on the rocks?” He offered an
apologetic grimace.
“Oh.” She shook her head, just a little toss, and
turned to look out the passenger window. “Nothing.”
“It didn’t look like nothing.”
“Nothing much.” This was barely audible.
Still he pressed. “To be honest, it looked like”—he
coughed—“like you were scattering ashes.Was it . . . ? Do you know
what I mean? I mean, you seem . . . well, for one thing, awfully
young.”
“I’m not,” she said flatly.
“Okay.You’re youngish, though.” By shifting
the focus to her age he was, he knew, yielding to her, allowing
them to move beyond the subject of the ashes, and Gordie was
disappointed by this, his own inability to press on, his curiosity
unsated. He resisted the impulse to tell her about his own loss. “I
mean,” he said, another attempt at humor, “you are a kid and
all?”
“I’m ten,” she said, in a tone that might as easily
have implied contradiction as concession.
After that a small coolness descended upon them and
they rode most of the rest of the way in silence.
The rain made a din.The wipers eked out their
steady lullaby. Ebie was redolent, the specter of every skunk she’d
ever chased summoned up by the wetness of her fur plus the waft of
the heater. The trees along Broadway arched heavily over the
street. Gordie began to feel almost drowsy, under an enchantment
made up of rhythms and textures as old as childhood. He thought for
some reason of his dad coddling eggs. That was something Gordie had
always loved to watch, though he never cared to partake of eggs
cooked in this fashion. But he’d loved watching his dad butter the
insides of the porcelain cup, crack the eggs one-handed, give a few
twists of the pepper mill, sprinkle salt with his fingers, screw on
the metal top and immerse the lot in a pan of simmering water to
cook, “gentle-like, mind you,” for exactly seven
minutes.
The girl Elizabeth spoke. “The next left.”
“Got it.”
The house she pointed out, in the middle of the
second block, sat just as she’d said, smack across from the small
green park. Gordie was glad to see a vehicle in the driveway if it
meant someone was home, although the fact that said vehicle was a
beat-up pickup gave him a moment’s pause; he associated such trucks
with guys with big guts and short tempers. “I’ll get your bike,” he
told her, pulling up by the curb. “You go on ahead.”
“Don’t worry. It wasn’t your fault,” she said
kindly, and for an instant he thought she’d read his mind, but she
wasn’t talking to him. “Good-bye, girl,” she said, offering her
cheek, which Ebie swiped with her tongue.Then she patted the dog’s
glossy crown and slid out.
Gordie wrestled out the bike and carried it, along
with the sopping parka, onto the ample porch. The girl, having left
the warm station wagon for the damp and the wind, stood hunched and
shivering again. “Is it open?” asked Gordie. “Or do you ring the
bell?” Whether she shivered or shrugged he could not tell, but as
she didn’t move to let herself in, he reached out and pressed the
button.
The man who came to the door was indeed large, and
darkly bearded as well, but he looked more disconcerted than angry
and when he spoke his voice was mild, even faintly musical. “Well!
Biscuit. What happened to you?”
“I found her at the Hook,” Gordie announced. “It’s
my fault she’s all wet.”
“Your fault?” The man peered confusedly at the
pouring rain. “Please, come in.”
Gordie looked at the girl, thinking she’d take up
the tale, but she remained both silent and unbudging. “She fell in
the water, but it was my dog—my dog basically knocked her
in.”
“The water? Both of you, please come inside.”
Now the girl melted sideways past her father into
the front hall and Gordie followed, despite protesting, “I don’t
want to drip on your rug. Yes, the river. My dog kind of shoved
her, accidentally.”
“The river!” Light dawned. The man stared at his
daughter, seeming at last to absorb just how thoroughly drenched
she was: much more so than Gordie, or than anyone who’d simply been
out in the rain. “Biscuit, are you all right? You fell in the
Hudson? Where?”
“The Hook,” she said, and arched her back and stuck
out both arms in such a way that Gordie’s dad’s wet lumberjack
shirt slid to the floor. Her father picked it up and spread it on
top of the radiator, and then took a big fleece jacket (from the
look of it, his) from the coatrack beside them and wrapped it
around her, rubbing her back and arms as Gordie detailed more
plainly the course of recent events.
“I’m grateful you were there,” said the father,
when Gordie had more or less summed things up.
“Oh, no,” Gordie demurred, and tried to clarify
that if he and his dog hadn’t been there in the first place the
girl would have needed no rescue. But then she spoke up, for the
first time in Gordie’s presence betraying a hint of garrulity,
insisting that she hadn’t needed a rescue in any case, since
she’d known how to swim since she was four.
Nevertheless, the father looked at Gordie with
heavy gratitude. “John Ryrie,” he said, extending his hand.
“Gordie Joiner.”
The man’s grip was fantastic.
“Well: I’m indebted. This one”—he looked at the
girl—“has been something of a concern to us lately.” His voice
seemed tinged with private rue, something like self-reproach. The
father laid a broad hand on top of his daughter’s head. She caught
Gordie’s eye then with a look of insolent amusement, and he was
taken aback. It seemed to imply a connection, a complicity between
them. Had they shared something, he and this child who had snubbed
his attempts at conversation in the car? If so, what? An adventure?
A secret? He felt hopelessly slow.
“Um, Mr. Ryrie,” he said, and cleared his throat.
He decided he would, he must, mention what he’d seen this
Biscuit-Elizabeth-girl doing just prior to her plunge. By
intervening in the first place, by delivering her home, he’d
incurred a responsibility.
“John,” the father corrected him.
“John. I don’t know whether I should say . . . I
asked in the car, but . . .” He cleared his throat again. “I just
wondered if you knew—”
But he broke off in mortification at the sudden
arrival of Ebie, who came nosing-and-shouldering her massive way
through the open front door. She circled the front hall rapidly,
the ungainly sway of her hips and damp thwack of her tail making
the space seem very cramped, and threaded among the humans,
blithely disseminating her gamy perfume.
Gordie tried to grasp her collar.
“Ebie!—sorry—come, girl. Sorry. I don’t know why she’s—Ebie,
no!” She ended up by Biscuit-Elizabeth, on whose foot she trod once
before inserting herself decorously between girl and coatrack.
There she sat, giving the distinct impression of hoping to go
unnoticed.
The girl’s hand floated to the dog’s neck, fingers
twining deep into the fur.
Gordie shrugged, let his hands fall to his sides.
“She apparently likes your daughter.”
“I see that.” John rubbed his cheek with two
fingers. He looked at the dog. Ebie, apparently conscious of being
under scrutiny, did not make eye contact with her observer but
thrust her face slightly in his direction and thumped her tail.
John laughed. “Well. Gordie, right? And Biscuit.You’re both
soaked.” He gestured ironically, as if to acknowledge he’d stated
the obvious. “Bis, go up and put on dry things. And if you”—he
turned to Gordie—“could possibly spare the time, I’d like to offer
you tea or . . . coffee, cocoa? A dry sweatshirt? And to hear what
you were starting to say.”
It was unsettling how glad the invitation made
Gordie, how almost relieved he was to receive it.
Before he could respond, however, the girl spoke
up. “Who’s she?” Pointing a finger toward the doorway that led from
the hall.
A young woman leaned against the frame. She had
short dark hair and wore a dark turtleneck and faded jeans. Her
feet were bare, her arms folded across her chest. She was observing
them all with a half-smile, a look of loosely reined amusement.
Gordie had no idea how long she’d been there. She alone in the room
appeared wholly unconcerned, comfortable in her skin. He found
himself interested in this, if slightly unsettled by it.