CHAPTER FOURTEEN
THE GRAPES OF TRASH

Val ran down the alleyway, his flashlight bobbing, his movements fast, and he hoped his expression was a grim reminder to not mess with anything that went bump and bit really hard in the night. Lucy and Christine were in danger! His heart was pumping double-time in his chest as he burst onto the scene.

He saw Lucy standing slightly bent over, as if from a blow to the stomach. Her heart was beating a fast two-step; Val could hear it from where he stood. Once again, she was in the thick of things—covered in grape goop, a banana peel on her shoulder, and somewhere she had picked up a box she was now wearing on her foot. She looked like someone with a bit of a fetish for fruit, but otherwise seemed unhurt.

To the right of her, a young woman lay moaning softly. Good, Val thought, the victim was alive, and so was the lack-witted Lucy.

“Where’s Christine?” he asked.

Lucy stared at him, then replied, “She chased DeLeon.” She took a step closer, the cardboard box clumping along with her.

Lucy wanted to throw herself into Val’s arms, but his grim expression stopped her. Besides, she looked like a vegetarian nightmare. Despite the fact that this strong, handsome knight had come running to rescue the fair maiden, this was certainly no Hallmark moment. An insidious killer was on the loose, Val’s partner was chasing him, she owed Val a big apology for her years of mistrust, and she looked like some sort of rotting fruitcake.

“How do you know it was DeLeon?” Val asked brusquely, moving to check on the other girl. Two more policemen had just arrived on the scene.

“Violet eyes, a scar…and the guy really needs some major dental work. His teeth are this really awful red, and they aren’t as sharp as yours. They’re kind of thick, and longer.” She hoped she hadn’t hurt Val’s feelings by the bigger-teeth bit. Men were so sensitive over the subject of size—or at least her mother had always said so.

Val nodded, then motioned the patrolmen over, commanding the two officers, “See to the lady and watch out for Lucy here. Don’t let her get into any more trouble than she’s already in.” He gave her fruit-smeared body the once-over.

“Wait, Val. Where are you going?” Lucy asked, her tone high and scratchy, revealing just how frightened she was. She wanted to cringe, thinking that she sounded like a scared mouse, some silly female waiting to be rescued. But then, she was a silly female waiting to be rescued. Lucy knew she might be able to handle some paranormal creatures, but a monster like a Ka incubus was big time.

Val looked grim as he replied, “After Christine. DeLeon’s too much to handle alone. She could be killed.”

“No need, partner,” came a voice. Christine materialized out of the shadows at the back of the alley and added, “And I’m alive because Lucy here helped out. She drew DeLeon’s attention away when I was down. He would have gotten me.” Walking up to Lucy, the vampiress gave her a hug, in spite of the garbage hanging off Lucy’s clothing and in her hair. “Thanks, Lucy, you saved my ’tite ole vampire butt.”

Lucy hugged Christine back, surprising herself. This was the female vamp she had hated for over four years, the coffin-wrecking femme fatale! But she had been wrong about Christine. She had been wrong about a lot of things. Guilt was gnawing at her insides like a hungry mouse. She owed Val, huge.

“How’s the victim?” Christine asked.

Val looked away from his partner and the princess of pandemonium over to the ground where one of the policemen had lifted the young woman into a sitting position. “She’s okay. She may have lost a few years, but at least she’s not dead.”

“I don’t think she was raped,” Lucy remarked hopefully.

Val sniffed the air carefully, filtering through the smells of rotting garbage, urine, and dank decay. “No. She wasn’t,” he agreed.

“Good,” Lucy stared at the victim, but she was secretly wishing Val would take her in his arms. She was wishing this was four-plus years ago, and that she hadn’t been a major-league fool.

Christine moved closer, saying, “He got away, Val. He’s fast. Really fast and strong. I followed him down the last few blocks of Pirate Alley, but lost him in the warehouse district.”

Val nodded. “I’m glad you weren’t hurt, and that you knew better than to try and apprehend the suspect by yourself. One vampire isn’t quite strong enough for a Ka incubus!” he said accusingly.

“I had help,” Christine protested. “I had Lucy.”

“Ah. Lucy.” Pointing a finger, Val turned his attention from his foolish partner to the source of his real anger. His voice taut with suppressed rage, he hissed, “She’s a civilian. A chaos-causing, accident-prone civilian. Merde, Chris—look at her!”

The vampires turned in unison, staring at Lucy. She had been listening to their conversation in ire, tugging the box off her foot and almost toppling over. To think she had thought Val was a knight in shining armor. Hardly!

“Well, thanks a bunch, Val!” she snapped. “I might look like a tossed fruit salad, but I can take care of myself.” And with that, she threw the offending box over her shoulder. Her eyes opened wide when she heard a yelp.

Glancing quickly back, she winced. She had hit one of the policemen on the head. “Sorry about that,” she mumbled, busying herself picking her purse up off the ground. Reaching inside, she withdrew a gun and thrust it up in the air.

The second policeman went for his pistol. Val quickly stopped him, blocking his view of Lucy. “Just what the hell is that thing supposed to be?” he asked. “It looks like a water pistol.”

“It is,” Lucy replied, stung by the disdain she could hear in his voice. Four minutes before, he had desperately wanted to save her. Now he seemed to want to strangle her—a meddling, muddling mortal.

“You’re running around the Big Easy with a water gun, and that’s supposed to protect you?” he asked. “How easy do you think it would be for a criminal—or a paranormal, especially—to spot a water pistol?” He bit out the words. This daft woman was impossible! And why did he care? Just sign him up for the Dumbest Dick of the Year Award.

“I’m not stupid! Just because you think so doesn’t mean I am. How stupid would I have to be to carry around a water pistol with just plain water in it? Pretty stupid, huh? Well, don’t hold your breath.” Lucy snorted, shoving the pistol back in her purse. “Oh, that’s right. You don’t have to hold your breath, do you, you big dead dufus!”

“Dead dufus?” Christine repeated, trying to keep a straight face. What a comedy of errors. Val was livid—and that really meant something for the normally stone-faced detective.

Turning to Christine, Lucy explained. “He’s a dufus, all right, if he thinks I would try to scare a real live monster with a water gun. This contains holy water.” And before Val could comment, she added, “I also have regular mace and laced mace.”

“Laced mace?” Val couldn’t help but ask. He felt as if he were watching a train wreck.

“Yes.” Lucy reached inside her purse and pulled out a mace bottle. “This one has silver nitrate for shape-shifters and gargoyles.”

“I see,” Val said. And he did. Her down-home weapons would be deadly if used correctly. But with Lucy…“That’s why they’re still in your purse?” he asked.

“I don’t understand,” Lucy said, but Val cut her off.

“Mais, non. Of course you don’t. Cherie, nobody ever was protected by a weapon still in their purse.”

Lucy looked at him as if he was crazy. “I know that.”

“You do? Then why are they still in your purse?” he persisted, certain she must see reason before he turned five hundred years old. Not that five hundred was too far off.

“Because it all happened so fast,” Lucy answered reluctantly. Suddenly she saw where his questions were leading, and it wasn’t down a primrose path or anything so sweet-smelling. Dang, the man was sneaky, and he could go right for the jugular when he wanted. And yep, he definitely thought she was a fruitcake.

“Right. That’s why preternatural predators are called predators—because they’re lethal and fast. Very fast, Luce. Too fast for humans, smart or otherwise.”

Scowling at him, Lucy shoved her mace back in her purse and began to walk away. Her walk was lopsided, since she had lost a shoe somewhere. Her clothes were sticking to her, and she heard herself squelching as she went, peach goo dripping into her eyes.

Humiliating! She could feel Val’s eyes upon her, just as she heard the sound of the ambulance siren head down the alleyway.

But then a voice called out, “Wait up, Lucy! I’ll drive you home.”

It was a command, and Val turned and gave instructions to the other police officers to secure the scene, then asked Christine to accompany the victim to the hospital.

Lucy halted, listening to his instructions, and to his domineering tone of voice, and suddenly she shivered. She remembered all too well that voice whispering instructions in her ear as they had wild vampire sex. Instructions about where to touch him, where to bite him, and just where he was going to touch her.

Oh, how she wanted that back. She wanted him back, even if he was a tad authoritative. Even if he drove her crazy sometimes with his protective instincts and the draining way he sucked on her neck. She sighed. Her neck was very sensitive, and nobody knew how to suck one better than a vampire. They were experts at necking. In fact, they had probably invented neck-sucking, horny, toothy race that they were.

Val caught up just as Christine called out, “Hey, Lucy, that battle cry of yours—remember the Alamo? I like it.”

Lucy turned around and nodded slightly, her eyes a bit glazed. “Thanks. It’s my grandma’s saying. Her only saying, really. She says it when she stubs her toe, when she’s hoeing the garden, or before we eat.”

“You need a battle cry to eat dinner?” Christine asked in confusion.

Val didn’t let her answer. Grabbing Lucy’s arm, he began escorting her to his car. He answered himself over his shoulder. “Not really. Lucy’s grandmother is just mad as a hatter.”

Lucy punched him on the shoulder. Christine stood still, grinning.

“She is not, Val. She’s just…a little eccentric,” Lucy said.

Val sighed. “Cherie, the woman wears a lamp shade on her head to commune with Albert Einstein.” And then the darkness swallowed them up.

Christine chuckled softly to herself. Val had his hands full with this one. Lucy Campbell would lead him a merry chase, and such a mess couldn’t have happened to a better vampire. She wondered what Mr. Einstein would say about it all.