CHAPTER ELEVEN
MAMA, DON’T LET YOUR BABIES GROW UP TO LOVE VAMPIRES

The next night, the phone was ringing when Lucy unlocked the door to her apartment. Dropping her purse and kicking off her shoes, she answered.

“Hello?”

Her mom’s West Texas accent filled the line. “Lucy, sugar, I just loved your show tonight. That wererat impersonator—he did such a good impression of Jimmy Cagney! And you were just wonderful.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Lucy said, sitting down wearily. She was tired, and still had to go out and make her rounds of the Overbite Bar. Not to mention that tonight was Friday the thirteenth. Friday the thirteenth might not be Mardi Gras, but ever since monsters had come out of the proverbial closet, this particular date was a big deal in New Orleans.

Yes, parties were thrown everywhere to celebrate the unlucky day. She knew the Big Monster Ball was being held at the House of Usher, just a couple of blocks west of the Overbite. Lucy had promised her boss that she would put in an appearance, as he still wanted her to mix and mingle with some of the more elite ranks of supernatural celebrities.

“I’m just so proud of you. Your show is better even than that Tonight Show,” her mom remarked. “And Blade has those flashy big teeth, and all that black leather. He looks like some kind of vampire James Dean!”

In spite of her weariness, Lucy smiled. No way her show could compare to the vampire’s. His cutting style, his awesome guests…Blade always had the most interesting preternatural predators. But then, this was what mothers were for, to value their kids above all others.

“That vampire is just too pretty for a man if you ask me. I wouldn’t believe a word he says, since a girl can’t trust a man who is prettier than she is. Pretty soon they start staying out late and showing up with lipstick on their collars, and it isn’t even your shade.”

“I know, I know,” Lucy agreed. Val was prettier than she, and even though he hadn’t had any lipstick on his collar that ill-fated night—he wasn’t even wearing a collar—she had still caught him cheating, the promiscuous parasite. Hadn’t she? His protestations flashed again through her mind.

“Do you have a date tonight?” her mom asked, drawing her thoughts away from the stark recollection of a nearly naked Val with that bloodsucking bathrobed bimbo.

Lucy pulled out a slinky green number that just screamed for sin and laid it on the bed. She planned to wear her matching bite-me heels, just in case she ran into Val. “Not tonight,” she admitted.

“Are you dating anyone special, hon?” her mother pressed.

Hmm, Lucy thought, what an easy question to answer. How sad. “No, Mama, I’m not.”

“What about that nice man on your show tonight? He was tall, dark, and handsome.”

Lucy sighed in exasperation. “And hairy, Mom. He was a wererat. I date enough human rats as it is without dating the supernatural ones,” she added truthfully, moving to run some bathwater. “He also had beady little black eyes.”

“Oh, Lucy. What am I going to do with you? I want grandkids to spoil, and at this rate I’ll be ninety before that happens.”

Lucy shook her head. Her mom must have been talking to her sister, whose two married daughters had five kids between them. “Maybe someday, Mom. But right now I’m focusing on my career.”

“That shouldn’t stop you from dating!”

“All the good guys are gone—married or dead or something,” Lucy snapped, tiring of being hounded. But her mother seemed unfazed.

“Don’t give me that old song and dance. I know you. You’ve never gotten over that Cajun detective, have you? I know you don’t talk about him anymore, but I remember how devastated you were when you caught him cheating on you. If the man hadn’t been dead already, I’d have made sure he was! After what he did to you, my little girl—that supernatural skunk should have been hanged. I should have kicked his arrogant ass from here to Mexico.”

“Mom, this isn’t up for discussion. I’m over him,” Lucy lied. Her mom sounded unconvinced.

“Lucy, hon, you need to get back in the saddle. Just because you’ve had a major spill doesn’t mean you can’t ever ride again.”

But Lucy didn’t think that was true. After riding Val and Val riding her six ways to Sunday, galloping off into the sunset for a happily-ever-after with some other man just didn’t seem possible. Because—and this was a big because—when you’ve had the best, you couldn’t try the rest.

“Look, Mom,” she said, “I have to go out again on some business, and I need to get ready. I love you, and I’ll call you on Sunday.”

Lucy got off the phone and into her bathwater, but as she lay back, she thought about Val. Meeting and loving him had been like a wild hot wind had swept them up and tossed them into the eye of a tornado. And in the end he had been nothing but a heartache, a big old larger-than-life heartache that had taken her for one hell of a spin. “Fangs for the memories, Val,” she grumbled.

Frowning slightly, Lucy soaped her arms. She’d suddenly remembered how Val was angry with her. Why? He was the lying, lecherous leech who had been unfaithful! She had been pure as the driven snow. But there was not the slightest doubt in her mind that Val was really ticked. Did that mean he felt slighted? Had he been slighted? She’d been thinking it earlier, and doubt reared its ugly head once more. Could she have been wrong in what she saw? Could he possibly have had a reasonable explanation for sipping on someone else?

Lucy sat up slowly, tiny droplets of water sliding down her back, making her shiver. Had she done the right thing in not listening to Val’s explanation? Had she been hardheaded and stupid? Of course she couldn’t have. When was she so stubborn?

Disgusted with herself, she stood up and grabbed a towel. Glancing into the mirror, she saw confusion staring back at her. Maybe she had been wrong.

No, she told herself. Maybe mountain oysters were really chicken livers, and cows jumped over the moon.