Even after the feast in the ruins of Ondun’s city, Javian could not embrace the celebration. The secrets he still kept tore at his heart. He had revealed the truth about himself to Prester Hannes, and though the knowledge had died with the prester, the confession had ripped the scab off a wound. Javian had to face his shameful and treacherous heritage. The Teacher had trained him, and all ra’virs, to live a lie…but Javian was sick of lying.
Encamped in the comfortable seaside forests, the Tierran crew feasted, drank, and sang boisterous ballads in friendly duels with the Urabans from the Al-Orizin. They had become close after their tribulations, but for Javian the internal struggle was unbearable. During the entire voyage of the Dyscovera, he had been torn between the hatred indoctrinated into him and the kindness he observed in Captain Vora, Mia, and his fellow sailors. And it seemed that the Urabans aboard the Al-Orizin displayed an equal range of kindheartedness and brutality. Javian did not want to go back to Tierra—or Uraba—under such terms. He didn’t belong in either place anymore.
As he tried to sleep on the soft grass near the crumbled stone ruins, he wrestled with what he had discovered about the world and about himself. The ground felt much more comfortable than his narrow bunk aboard ship, but he battled nightmares. His secrets were like a poison, making him violently ill. Only purging himself of the poison could save his life.
Unable to sleep, he rose, stretched his stiff muscles, and walked among the ancient stone buildings, wanting to draw peace from this empty land. He was startled to see a familiar figure silhouetted in the night—Criston Vora, also contemplating. He hesitated, not sure he was ready for conversation, but the captain turned, noticed him. “I see you can’t sleep either, Javian.”
“Too much has happened, sir.” He moved closer, and they stood together in silence for a long moment. “Are you thinking about your sweetheart?”
Captain Vora sighed. “Yes. I don’t need to trust my hope to letters anymore. If Ondun does indeed take us home, then I will find her. We’ll be reunited, and I can speak to her face-to-face…no matter how much has changed.” Moonlight shone on the captain’s face as he turned to Javian. “I’d like you to meet her, when everything is settled.”
Javian was startled when Mia joined them. “Are you all right, Javian? I worry about you.” She had stayed close to him since the death of Prester Hannes, though even she didn’t understand the full reason for Javian’s distress. The young woman slipped her arm around his waist—possibly the most comforting feeling he’d ever experienced. He was glad to have her there, since she was part of his decision as well.
“Captain, when you return home, I…I won’t be going with you,” Javian said. “I’ve decided not to sail back to Tierra.”
The captain turned in surprise. “What do you mean?”
Mia held him tighter. “Why didn’t you talk to me about this? Javian, what’s going on?”
The young man gazed past the shadowy pillars and into the darkness of the unexplored continent. “There’s no place for me back in Calay. I intend to stay here. Terravitae is what calls to me.”
“I can’t maroon one of my men here,” Captain Vora sputtered.
“Look at how lush and fertile this land is, sir. I won’t be an exile—I’ll be a pioneer. And you’ll be back in a year or two. Ships will probably come from both Uraba and Tierra. Shouldn’t somebody be here to greet them?” He hoped they would accept his explanation. He didn’t want to reveal that he had been a traitor among them for all this time, a trap waiting to be sprung.
Mia leaned closer to Javian. “Not even my fondest memories of home can match what I’ve seen in Terravitae.” A deep breath. “I’ll stay behind with him, Captain. We’ll work together, make a home and a life here.” She smiled at him. “Where it’s all fresh and new. If Javian will have me?”
He was surprised and also thrilled. “Are you sure?”
“I came aboard the Dyscovera to get away, remember? There wasn’t much left for me back in Tierra, and this new land holds everything I’ve dreamed of—including you, if you’re staying.”
“You don’t know the truth yet—the main reason I want to stay.” He raised his heavy eyes to the captain. “Once you know who I am, you probably won’t want me aboard your ship anymore. I’m sorry I betrayed you so…”
Captain Vora’s brows drew together. “What are you saying?”
Mia was alarmed. “What secret could you possibly have kept from me?”
“I am a ra’vir,” he said. “Raised by the Urecari and given the sole mission of harming this voyage in any way possible, to sabotage any Aidenist plans. I ruined the Captain’s Compass during the mutiny and our fight with the mer-Saedrans. I killed the rest of the rea pigeons, so we couldn’t send any more messages home.” He lowered his head. “But I was wrong. All Aidenists aren’t like Prester Hannes…and now I know that all Urecari aren’t like the Teacher. You changed me, Captain Vora. As did you, Mia.”
He continued in a rush as they stared at him in disbelief. “For years I lived a false life among Tierrans, but you finally made me see through the lie. I wrestled with it, but I dishonored a good captain and a good crew. I can’t go back to Calay, and I certainly don’t want to return to Uraba. This is the only place I can truly start fresh and make a new life—if Ondun will allow it.”
Captain Vora looked at him in hard silence for a long, long moment. Mia was unsettled, awkward, and Javian didn’t know how much more he could endure. She withdrew from him, stared at him, and didn’t answer. It was the longest silence of his life.
At last, the captain changed, like a shifting breeze on the open sea. He drew a deep breath. “If I can find it in my heart to forgive the Urecari after all they have done, if I accept that Tierra and Uraba must let go of their anger to find a lasting peace, then how can I not forgive you, Javian—someone I consider a friend?”
Mia said, “I thought I knew you, Javian. And in a way maybe I did know the true you—before you even knew yourself. If I was one of the reasons that you turned away from destruction, I can’t abandon you now. I want to stay with you. We should be together, make a new start in a new land.”
Javian’s throat tightened. Tears stung his eyes, and he breathed heavily to keep himself from crying. “Then there’s one last thing I will ask of you, sir, before you go. Since you’re the ship’s captain, and if Mia agrees…would you marry us?”