Chapter 28


Three days later, Jeremy and Max were returning home to Dallas on a flight from Atlanta. Their flight had been delayed an hour, which frustrated Jeremy to no end. It meant he’d barely have time to get home and change into his tux before he and Bernie had to leave for the university.

When he sent her the invitation, he’d been prepared to have to talk her into coming with him, only to be pleasantly surprised when she accepted his invitation immediately.

Things are good, he thought. Very, very good.

When they reached cruising altitude, he closed his eyes, rested his head on the seat behind him, and thought back to making love to Bernie the other night. He’d been obsessed with having her again, but he’d had no idea it would be like that. It had been slow and soft and dreamy, every moment singular and intense, but it was her tiny whispers and cries and shudders of pleasure that told him how much she wanted him. He still remembered the expression on her face when she looked up at him and whispered his name, and he couldn’t wait to hear it pass her lips a thousand more times.

If he’d been obsessed before, he was a fanatic now. The moment they got home from the event tonight, he was sweeping her upstairs and straight into his bed again.

“May I get you a pillow, sir?”

Jeremy opened his eyes, irritated that his thoughts had been interrupted. Ever since he’d boarded the flight, the first-class flight attendant had been fawning over him, a stunningly beautiful blond with the most spectacular breasts money could buy. She’d gone through the entire safety recitation with her attention focused mostly on Jeremy, a subtle smile of invitation on her lips.

“No, thank you,” Jeremy said, and started to close his eyes again, only to have the flirting begin in earnest. First she asked the standard flight attendant questions, but with a sexy edge. Then she eased into more personal stuff designed to scope out where he lived, his marital status, and the approximate size of his bank account. By the time they were making their final approach into Dallas, Jeremy was surprised she hadn’t taken him by the hand and led him into the bathroom for a trip to the Mile High Club.

She rested her forearm on the top of the seat in front of Jeremy and leaned in. “I’m Jennifer,” she said, in a low, sultry voice. “If you’d like to get together, give me a call.”

She slipped him a piece of paper, then walked away to prepare for landing.

Jeremy couldn’t count the number of times this had happened to him. And most of the time, if the women were beautiful enough, he’d taken them up on their offers.

He remembered back to the time when Bernie was his bodyguard. She’d watch him collect those little pieces of paper from flight attendants, rolling her eyes the whole time, usually adding a snarky comment or two. He smiled to himself. That was what he liked about her. He never had to wonder what she was thinking, because she’d always been quick to tell him.

Without even unfolding this piece of paper, he crumpled it in his fist, then stuck it into the magazine pouch on the back of the seat in front of him.

“Better hang on to that,” Max murmured. “She was a hot one.”

“Nope. She doesn’t do a thing for me.”

“Beg to differ. She’d do all kinds of things for you.”

“You’re baiting me, Max.”

“Yes, sir, I am.”

“You appear to be gauging my interest in a completely different woman.”

“Tell me if I’m out of line.”

Oddly enough, Jeremy didn’t feel that way at all. There had been a time when Max’s comments had irritated him to no end, but now it actually made him feel good that Bernie had people in her life she could count on.

“You care a lot about her, don’t you?” Jeremy asked.

“We go way back.”

“I care a lot about her, too, Max. You have nothing to worry about.”

Max nodded, then returned to his usual comatose state, and Jeremy closed his eyes for a last-minute daydream to entertain him until he could see Bernie again. She’d told him she was going to meet him at his house and they’d go from there.

He couldn’t wait.

He got home an hour and a half later. He took a quick shower, put on his tux, and went back downstairs. When he stepped into the kitchen, he found Bernie sitting at the breakfast room table. She held a compact and was staring at herself in the mirror. She glanced up when he came into the room. Looking a little flustered, she closed the compact and tossed it into her evening bag. She stood up, fidgeting and frowning. He knew she was waiting for him to say something, but for a moment, he was speechless. She was still Bernie, but a different version of Bernie that was all soft around the edges, and he loved it.

Her hair was swept up in one of those messy-but-sexy styles anchored with a couple of rhinestone clips that he never would have imagined her wearing. She had makeup on. Very little, actually, but just enough to bring out her features, particularly those long, dark eyelashes. Her dress was made of royal blue satin that skimmed over her breasts and hips and her baby bump, then fell to her ankles in soft folds. Low neckline, but not plunging. He’d never noticed just how pretty her collarbones were, particularly with the diamond drop she wore falling perfectly between them.

“Wow,” he said.

She winced. “Is that a good wow, or a bad wow?”

“Let’s put it this way,” he said, walking toward her. “You look so incredible in that dress that all I want to do is take it off you.”

But she still looked worried. “Are you sure it’s all right?”

“Oh, I’m very sure.”

“Is the hair too weird? My friend Lawanda helped me with it. I told her it was weird, but she said it was perfect.”

“Lawanda is a very wise woman.”

Jeremy leaned in to kiss her, but she put a palm against his chest. “No. You can’t do that. You’ll smear my lipstick, and I won’t be able to fix it.”

“How about if I kiss you here instead?” he said, dipping his head and touching his lips to her neck.

“That’s fine. Even I know not to put lipstick on my neck.”

“Smart girl.”

“Are you sure I look okay?”

“Why don’t we go get a second opinion?”

They left the house and walked toward the limousine. Max was leaning against the back door. As they approached, Jeremy knew the exact moment he spotted Bernie. He pushed away from the car and reached up slowly to pull his sunglasses off, a look of utter amazement on his face.

“Holy shit,” he said. “Bernie?”

“Max,” Jeremy said. “Mustn’t ogle the boss’s date.”

“Or the boss’s date will deck you,” Bernie snapped.

“Don’t mind her,” Jeremy said. “She doesn’t know how beautiful she looks.”

“Did she bother to look in a mirror?”

Jeremy tapped his temple. “Mental block.”

“Will you two shut up?” Bernie said. “We’re going to be late.”

Max opened the door for them, and they got into the car. Max sat in the front passenger seat next to Carlos, leaving Jeremy and Bernie in the backseat alone. As they wound their way down the driveway to the front gate, Jeremy leaned in and spoke softly to Bernie.

“I sense you’re a little uptight,” he said. “There’s no reason for that.”

She took a deep, cleansing breath. “I’m just not used to being around this kind of people. Are you sure I look all right? I think you and Max are just trying to make me feel good.”

“Bernie, when Max turned around and saw you, his tongue was hanging so far out of his mouth I thought he was going to step on it. You look incredible. And I want very much for you to enjoy yourself tonight.”

She nodded, but he could tell she was still uneasy. Then she glanced at his neck, her brows drawing together with confusion.

“Wait a minute,” she said. “You tied your tie?”

“Haven’t you been telling me to for years?”

“Well… yeah.”

But she kept staring at it. Finally she reached up and tugged on it until it hung loose around his neck.

“Hey!” he said. “It took me ten minutes to get it right. I was proud of myself.”

She picked up both ends of the tie, pulled him toward her, and kissed him.

“If you wear it tied, how are people supposed to recognize you?”

Finally she smiled at him, and for a long, unguarded moment he just sat there basking in it, wondering why she’d always been so stingy with smiles when they lit up her face like Christmas. It had been so long since he’d actually looked forward to an event like this, but tonight…

Tonight was going to be magic.

Twenty minutes later, Carlos swung the limo onto the grounds of Texas Southwestern University, then pulled up in front of the building where the event was being held. He leaped out and opened the door for Bernie, giving her the kind of deferential treatment he’d never shown her before. Carlos was a little too afraid of the boss to focus too much on Bernie’s physical attributes, but Jeremy could tell that he was seeing her in an entirely new light. He only hoped Bernie was enjoying it.

They walked into the ballroom where the event was being held, and Bernie’s eyes grew wide with wonder.

“My God,” she said. “Isn’t it beautiful?”

Actually, it wasn’t much different from any other event he’d ever attended. Gauzy fabric was draped all over the room, with tiny white lights wound up in it. A string quartet was playing something soft and classical. Ice sculptures abounded. Ridiculously opulent buffets stretched from one wall to another. But judging from the look on Bernie’s face, she felt as if she’d just walked through the gates of heaven.

“You’ve been to these things with me before,” he said.

“I was on the outside looking in,” she said, her voice hushed. “This is different.”

Over the next hour, a dozen people came up to speak to Jeremy, and when he introduced Bernie, he saw more than one set of eyes travel downward. After tonight, speculation was going to run rampant about his being there with a pregnant woman, and he couldn’t have cared less.

“Everybody’s wondering about us,” Bernie said, as they eased away from the people they’d been talking to.

“Why? Because you’re pregnant?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Do you care?”

“I thought you might.”

“Think again. Let’s dance.”

She looked at him dumbly. “Do I strike you as the kind of person who knows how to dance?”

He took her by the hand. “Come on. It’s easy.”

“Jeremy—”

He ducked his head and whispered in her ear. “It’s the only way I can get my hands on you at a public event without being thrown out of the place.”

“I changed my mind,” she said. “Let’s dance.”

Once they were on the dance floor, he pulled her around to face him. He saw her glance quickly at other women, and she put her hand on his shoulder the same way they were doing with their partners. He took her other hand in his and moved to the music, and after a minute, he felt her relax.

“See?” he said. “Not so hard, is it?”

“No. Not as long as I’m following you.”

As they moved around the floor, he rubbed his hand gently up and down her back, already wondering just how quickly he could get her out of this dress once they got home. He thought it was quite possible he was going to find something under it other than white cotton undies, and he couldn’t wait to see what she’d picked out. And if it made her feel pretty, he’d buy her a whole trunkload of it.

When the song was over, there was a polite smattering of applause, and Bernie’s expression became pained.

“I have to sit down for a minute,” she said. “These shoes are killing me.”

“So why are you wearing them?”

“Because Lawanda says pain is a significant component of beauty.”

“So kick them off.”

“Nope. If I walk around in my bare feet, I’ll look like your family friend from Arkansas.”

“Let’s grab a table.”

Jeremy pulled out a chair for Bernie, and she sat down with a heavy sigh.

“Okay. That’s better. But I’m pretty sure I have blisters on top of blisters.”

“I’m going to get a drink,” Jeremy said. “Would you like me to bring you something?”

“No. I’m fine.”

“Back in a flash.”

He wound through the crowd to the bar in the corner of the room, where he asked the bartender for a Scotch and water.

“Thank God you showed up.”

Jeremy turned around to see Phil standing behind him.

“Second martini,” Phil said, holding it up, then pointing to Alexis and the group of women she was with. “Did you know that five women talking aren’t five times as loud as one woman talking? It’s more like five squared.”

“Keep drinking,” Jeremy said. “Pretty soon you’ll pass out and you won’t hear them at all.”

“I’m working on it.”

Jeremy picked up his Scotch and water from the bar, then turned back to Phil.

“So you’re here with Bernie tonight,” Phil said.

“That’s right.”

“Alexis is thrilled. She wants to meet her.”

“And I’d like her to meet Alexis.”

“So there’s still nothing going on between you two?”

Jeremy took a sip of his drink. “I wouldn’t say nothing.”

Phil got a big grin on his face. “So you’re finally seeing the light.”

Maybe he was.

Never in his life had Jeremy been so entranced with a woman that he had a hard time taking his eyes off her, but he hadn’t let Bernie out of his sight for more than a few seconds all evening.

“Doesn’t she look great tonight?” Jeremy said.

“Actually, yeah. She does. I barely recognized her. And to think she’s been under your nose all this time.”

That was a little hard for Jeremy to believe, too. But this was a different woman from the tense, unsmiling one he’d known for so many years. It was as if she’d vanished, and in her place was one who was so happy and relaxed she almost glowed with it.

“Sorry, Phil,” Jeremy said. “I need to get back.”

Phil sighed. “So I’m going to be all alone tonight listening to the chipmunks chatter?”

“I’m afraid so.”

Phil looked at Bernie with a smile. “Don’t blame you a bit, buddy.”

Jeremy wound his way back through the crowd toward their table. He was halfway there when he saw a man approach Bernie. He tapped her on the shoulder. She spun around. They talked for a bit, and then a big smile came over Bernie’s face. She stood up, and before Jeremy knew it, they were hugging each other.

Jeremy stopped short, feeling an instantaneous shot of jealousy. The guy was maybe in his late thirties. Tall. Not bad looking. And Bernie seemed extraordinarily happy to see him. It was one thing for Max and Carlos to appreciate how great Bernie looked. He had control over their behavior. But this guy… who the hell was he?

Jeremy continued through the crowd and came up beside Bernie.

“Jeremy!” Bernie said. “Where have you been? You have to meet Kyle.”

No, I don’t.

The guy gave Jeremy a big smile and stuck out his hand. “Kyle Davenport.”

Jeremy shook his hand. Nice to meet you. Now go away.

“Kyle was a classmate of mine at TSU,” Bernie said. “He and I lived in the same dorm.”

Kyle turned away from Jeremy as if he wasn’t even there, focusing on Bernie again, giving her an appreciative smile. “It’s so good to see you again. I barely recognized you. You look great.”

“Thanks,” she said, beaming. “So do you.”

“Oh!” Kyle said. “Do you remember the day in microbiology class when Dr. Perez caught her hair on fire?”

Bernie laughed. “How could I forget?”

And then they were laughing in stereo, and for some reason, that irritated the hell out of Jeremy.

“Gee,” he said. “Sounds hilarious.”

Bernie turned to him. “Dr. Perez leaned over to look into a microscope. She didn’t know the Bunsen burner was so close, and when she stood up, her hair was on fire.”

Kyle chuckled. “She couldn’t figure out why Bernie was smacking her on the head with a spiral notebook.”

Yeah. That’s hilarious, all right. I bet you’ve got a million of them. Feel free to take them somewhere else.

But no. They kept talking. He had to hear reminiscences about everything from stuck quarters in a dorm washing machine to a mixer their freshman year where a guy got so drunk he shoved his own mattress out a third-story window.

Jeremy heard somebody call his name. He turned to see the president of the university standing behind him, talking to a couple of other donors.

“Can you join us for a moment?” he said.

Jeremy held up his finger, then turned to Bernie. “The president wants to speak to me.”

“Go ahead,” she said. “I’m fine.”

No. That wasn’t the response he was looking for. He was looking for something more along the lines of “Bye bye, Kyle” as she followed him over to meet the president.

“Don’t worry,” Kyle said with that irritatingly cheerful smile. “I’ll take good care of her. We have plenty of catching up to do.”

A sharp spark of jealousy tightened every muscle in Jeremy’s body, but he wasn’t about to let it show. He just nodded as if it was fine with him and joined the president’s group. For the next ten minutes, he was forced to listen to endless chatter about the university’s plans to build a new facility to house the school of business. What Jeremy really wanted to do was grab Bernie, take her home, and drag her straight to bed, and by the time the night was over, he’d make absolutely sure she couldn’t even remember that guy’s name.

Then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kyle reach into his wallet and pull out a couple of business cards. He handed them to Bernie. She stuck one in her evening bag. Then she flipped the other one over, wrote something on it, and handed it back to Kyle.

Okay. That was it. Enough was enough.

Just as he was extricating himself from the conversation with the president, Kyle gave Bernie another hug and walked away. Jeremy came up beside Bernie, and she looped her hand around his arm.

“That Kyle is sure a friendly guy, isn’t he?” Jeremy said.

“Yeah. He is.”

“Did you date in college?”

“No. We were just friends.”

“I didn’t see a ring.”

“He was divorced a few years ago.”

Big red flag.

“He gave you his card,” Jeremy said.

“Yeah. We’re going for coffee on Thursday to catch up a little more.”

Jeremy nearly choked. Coffee? Coffee? Didn’t she know that was a male code word for I want to get naked with you?

Maybe she did know.

In that moment, Jeremy realized the awful truth. He had no hold on Bernie. None at all. He might be the father of her babies, but her life was her own, and she’d always made it very clear that she intended to live it any way she wanted to.

The question was, where did he fit in?

He imagined what might happen after she met that guy for coffee. They might start to date. Get engaged. Get married. Pretty soon Jeremy would be nothing more than that weekend guy, the one who picked up the kids on Friday, endured the glare of her husband, tried too hard with the kids and spoiled the hell out of them, then returned them on Sunday. He’d be the odd man out. Biological father, but not really essential in the day-to-day lives of his children, and virtually nonexistent in Bernie’s eyes. And for the rest of his life, he’d be forced to imagine another man making love to her, and that was absolutely intolerable.

With other women, it had always been about the conquest. Once he had sex with them, the need he felt for them disappeared. But making love to Bernie had only sharpened his desire. That confused him. Unnerved him. Made him feel as if his emotions weren’t his own anymore. Bernie was holding them now, and every smile she directed at another man felt like a knife straight to his heart, as if the time they spent together and the closeness they’d shared meant nothing to her.

By the time they left the university half an hour later, Jeremy’s nerves were in a knot. Once they were in the limo, Bernie kicked off her shoes with a satisfied sigh. He looked at her feet and was shocked.

“Red nail polish?” he said.

“Lawanda did it. She put the light frost on my fingernails, but she said I needed red on my toenails even if it didn’t show. She said I’d feel like a wild woman just knowing it was there.”

“Do you?”

“What?”

“Feel like a wild woman?”

She laughed. “Yeah. I kinda do.” She slid down in the seat and turned a little, crossing her arms and resting her cheek against the leather seat, her laughter fading to a soft smile. “Thank you so much for inviting me tonight. I had such a wonderful time.”

Every word she spoke only irritated him more. The Bernie he knew was supposed to gag at red nail polish and feel insecure at a formal event. This Bernie looked beautiful and chatted with other men and felt like a wild woman.

Bernie’s smile faded. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing’s the matter.”

“You’re frowning.”

“I’ve had a long day.”

“How was your flight from Atlanta?”

“Fine.”

“Did your meetings go okay?”

“I told you everything’s fine,” Jeremy said, even though things were about as far from fine as he could imagine. “I’m just ready to get home. Get out of this tux. Like I said, it’s been a long day.”

Ten minutes later, the limo pulled up to Jeremy’s house. Carlos and Max left. Jeremy and Bernie went into the kitchen. She put her purse down onto the breakfast room table, and he pulled her into his arms for a kiss.

“Thanks for a wonderful evening,” she said.

“It’s not over yet,” Jeremy said. “Stay with me tonight.”

Bernie smiled. “Okay. But I have to be out of here at the crack of dawn tomorrow morning.”

Jeremy frowned. “Why?”

“The guys are coming over to help me paint the nursery.”

Jeremy came to attention. “That room was just painted.”

“I know. But not in baby colors.”

“Your friends don’t need to do that. Just pick out a paint color and send one of the crews in. They’ll take care of it.”

“Come on, Jeremy. It’s no fun if professionals do it. And they cost a lot of money. All the guys cost is a couple of boxes of doughnuts.”

As Jeremy imagined the whole group of them at Bernie’s apartment, the strangest feeling welled up inside him. She was going to be living it up with her friends, painting a nursery for his children, and where would he be?

At home by himself.

“Go ahead,” he said with an offhand shrug. “Do whatever you want to.” What else could he say?

Bernie’s probing stare came back again. “Okay. You’ve been acting weird ever since we left the university. What’s up?”

All the way home, the what-ifs had piled up inside Jeremy’s mind, and now he was on the verge of exploding with them. Bernie thought her choices were nonexistent where men were concerned, but she was dead wrong. There were hundreds of other men in this world she could have, and once she figured that out, Jeremy had no doubt she’d want to make up for lost time and try a few of them out. Pretty soon one of them would stick—maybe even Kyle after that cup of coffee—and he’d be out in the cold. And she had friends—old friends, close friends, friends who put together baby cribs and painted nurseries. And she had a mother who loved her. In light of all that, he could see only one way for him to fit into her life that would ensure he didn’t get sidelined and eventually shoved out of the way altogether. And that was to offer her something no woman in her right mind could possibly turn down.

He took off his coat and draped it over the back of a chair, then turned to face Bernie. “I have a proposition for you.”

She smiled and moved closer, draping her arms around his neck. “I’m listening.”

“I think,” he said, “that we should get married.”

Black Ties and Lullabies
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