NINETEEN
THE SHRILL RING OF
HIS PHONE MADE GAVIN WISH HE had turned it on vibrate. He rolled
over and shoved his head under the pillow. Still, the sound
wouldn’t go away.
Goddamn it. What the
fuck time was it anyway?
“Gavin, your phone
is ringing.”
He heard Elizabeth’s
muffled voice next to him.
“I’m ignoring it.
They’ll go away.”
“It’s rung three
times already. Might be important.”
“It’s probably some
drunk dialing the wrong fucking number.” He was tired, he was
snuggled up against his warm woman, and he didn’t want to be
bothered.
“Or it could be
important.”
He sighed, threw the
pillow off his head, and fumbled around in the dark, trying to
gather his bearings and find the damn phone, finally locating it on
the nightstand.
Elizabeth’s
nightstand. Oh, yeah. He was at her condo.
He blinked his eyes
and tried to open them enough to read the missed-call
register.
He shook off the
dregs of sleep when he read the name.
“Fuck. It’s
Jenna.”
Elizabeth turned on
the light while Gavin dialed. She slipped beside him and rubbed his
back.
She looked as
concerned as he felt.
His stomach
clenched. Something was wrong.
“Hey.” Jenna
answered on the first ring.
“What’s
wrong?”
“It’s Dad. They
think he had a heart attack.”
Gavin swung his legs
over the side of the bed, his heart sinking to his stomach. A
hundred kinds of dread filled his head. “How bad is
it?”
Elizabeth was right
behind him, her body a lifeline. He was drowning.
“Don’t know yet.
He’s at Barnes Hospital.”
Swallowing panic, he
said, “I’ll be right there.”
“Okay.”
Her voice sounded
shaky. “Did you get hold of Mick?”
“He’s on the way,
too.”
“How’s
Mom?”
“A mess, but trying
to pretend she isn’t.”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, Gavin.
Just get here.”
“I’ll be there in
twenty minutes.”
He clicked off the
phone. Elizabeth was already off the bed, grabbing Gavin’s
clothes.
He lifted his gaze
to her. “They think my dad had a heart attack.”
Her eyes filled with
tears. She came to him and sat on the bed, wrapped her arms around
him. “Oh, God, Gavin. I’m so sorry.”
He took a few
seconds to absorb her warmth, her comfort. Then he pulled
back.
“How bad is
it?”
“They don’t know
yet. Everyone’s been notified. I’m going to meet them
there.”
He got up and pulled
on his clothes. Elizabeth sat on the edge of the bed, staring down
at her clasped hands. “If there’s anything you need me to do,
anyone you need me to call, just let me know.”
“Lizzie.”
She lifted her gaze
to his. “Yes?”
“I need you. Come
with me?”
Silvery tears
drifted down her face. “Yes. Of course.” She leaped up and went to
get dressed.
GAVIN HATED
HOSPITALS, HAD SEEN HIS SHARE OF them—at least the emergency room
part of them—for injuries over the years. To Gavin they signaled
the possible end of his career.
Right now a hospital
meant something entirely different. He didn’t want to think about
what might be going on with his dad. His father was a rock, the
lifeblood of the Riley family. James Riley had always been
invincible and indestructible. He was the strongest man Gavin had
ever known. Nothing could topple him.
He was only
sixty-five. Too young for a heart attack, right? Sure, his dad had
put on a little weight over the years, and his mom’s cooking wasn’t
exactly on the low-fat side of things. And maybe exercise wasn’t
his father’s favorite thing. He liked to put his feet up and watch
sports when he was home. Though he hustled plenty at the bar. And
he played basketball with them when they came to visit. And he was
always outside doing things.
Okay, maybe Jenna
did a lot of the hustling these days behind the bar. Dad was
slowing down more and more, hanging out with the customers,
chatting them up, doing a lot of the PR work. They’d hired cooks
and waitresses so Mom and Dad didn’t have to do so much of the
labor intensive work anymore. And Mom still taught dance classes
part-time, so she was always running around and staying busy. When
she was at the bar, she supervised a lot of the staff and kept her
fingers in the cooking. Dad . . .
Shit.
Elizabeth grasped
his hand as they got out of the car and headed through the ER doors
at the hospital. He shifted his gaze to hers, and her smile
strengthened him. Walking in with her beside him helped. He didn’t
want to do this alone.
“He’s going to be
all right. You have to believe that. If you go in there with the
look of doom you have on your face now, it isn’t going to
help.”
He nodded. “You’re
right.”
He lifted his chin
and forced the fear away.
The doors slid open,
and the disinfectant smell hit him first. Then the crowd of people
with their expressions of worry, exhaustion, and utter despair made
him wish he could turn around, go home, and pretend this wasn’t
happening.
Elizabeth tugged his
hand and went to the information counter.
“We’re here for
James Riley,” she said.
The woman typed
something on her computer. “He’s in Room 14A. Cell phones must be
turned off. Go through the doors to your left. Press the button on
your right and give the patient’s name. They’ll buzz you through,
and you can ask for directions to his room at the desk
there.”
“Thank you,” she
said and pulled Gavin along. They got through the security door and
to another desk.
What would he have
done if Elizabeth hadn’t been there leading him through this crazy
maze of doors and hallways that zigzagged this way and that? They
finally found the room. Mick and Tara, Jenna and his mom were
standing outside. Elizabeth let go of his hand as he stepped up to
his family.
“Doctor’s in with
him right now,” his mother said as he pulled her into a tight
hug.
He nodded. “Any more
news?”
Mick shook his head.
“We’re waiting to hear from the doctor.”
Mick glanced over
Gavin’s shoulder at Elizabeth, frowned, and wrapped his arm around
Tara.
“What’s she doing
here?”
Gavin’s mother shot
Mick a look. “Not now, Michael. Focus on your father.”
Gavin reached for
Elizabeth’s hand and twined his fingers with hers.
“I can go sit in the
waiting room.”
Gavin pinned her
with his gaze. “I need you here with me.”
She nodded. “I’m
here for you as long as you want me.”
The doctor finally
came out. “We’re going to run some tests. It’ll be a while before I
can tell you anything for sure.”
“Was it a heart
attack?” Gavin’s mother asked.
Gavin and Mick put
their arms around their mother.
The doctor nodded.
“Yes. We’re going to examine the extent of the damage next. Once we
run more tests, we’ll know. Why don’t you all go to the waiting
lounge, and I’ll have someone come and get you after we’re
finished.”
“Can I see my dad
before you take him for the tests? I just got here.”
“That’s fine. Only
for a few seconds.”
Gavin pushed through
the sliding glass door, his heart dropping as he saw his dad, pale
and hooked up to a bunch of beeping machines. His eyes were
closed.
Gavin had never once
in his life seen his father look so frail. He fought back tears and
put on a smile as he walked in and took his father’s
hand.
“Hey,
Dad.”
His father’s eyes
blinked open. “Hey, kiddo. Guess maybe I took on one too many
home-improvement projects.”
Gavin slumped in
relief. His father’s trademark sense of humor was still intact. “I
blame the lawn mower.”
His dad laughed.
“Damn thing. I’ll beat it yet.”
“That’s the spirit.
You’re going to be fine.”
“Yeah, I am. Don’t
you forget it. I’m not leaving you yet.”
“Didn’t think you
were.” If he fell apart in front of his father, it would be the
worst thing that could happen.
“Stay strong for
your mother. She needs you and your brother most of
all.”
Gavin lifted his
chin and nodded. “You got it, Dad. Don’t worry about
anything.”
A nurse came in. “We
need to prep your father now.”
He squeezed his
dad’s fingers. “Buck up. We’ll see you soon.”
His dad squeezed
back. “I will.”
Gavin stepped into
the hall and waited. When they wheeled his dad out, his mom gave
him a kiss, then they all watched as he was taken down the hall.
When his mother broke and fell against Mick’s chest, Tara and Jenna
comforted her.
Gavin felt . . .
lost.
They moved to a
waiting area one of the staff directed them to, a room with a
television and magazines. They sat in silence, all of them no doubt
absorbed in their own thoughts. That lasted for about fifteen
minutes before Gavin stood and started pacing the
room.
“Mind not doing that
in front of the television?” Mick asked.
“Since the TV is in
the middle of the room, that’s kind of hard unless I leave the
room.”
Mick gave him a
pointed look.
“Tough shit,” Gavin
said. “Deal with it.”
Mick
stood.
So did their mother.
“Boys, please. I have enough to deal with.”
Tara stood and
pulled Mick back into a chair, whispered to him. He looked pissed.
Gavin didn’t give a shit.
Elizabeth stood and
linked her fingers with Gavin. “I’d love a cup of coffee. Go with
me?”
He knew she was
trying to defuse the brewing fight between Mick and him, which was
probably a wise move. He didn’t feel like putting up with his
brother right now.
Instead, he turned
to Elizabeth and nodded. “We’ll be right back.”
No one acknowledged
his comment, so he walked out the door with Elizabeth. She led him
through the maze until they found a vending machine where they
bought two coffees. They found a waiting area that was deserted, so
they sat and sipped their coffee in the quiet.
“This is terrible
coffee,” she said.
“Yeah,” he replied,
though he hadn’t even noticed the taste of the coffee. It was a
caffeine jolt, so that was good enough. Not that he even needed the
caffeine. He was wide awake and would stay that way as long as it
took to . . .
To what? To cure his
father? How long did it take to cure a heart attack? Was there even
a “cure,” or did you just change your lifestyle and move on from
there?
Shit. So much he
didn’t know. He leaned over and laid his forearms on his
knees.
Elizabeth rubbed his
back.
“That feels
good.”
“You’re doing a lot
of thinking.”
“How can you tell?
Are my brains leaking out my ears?”
She let out a soft
laugh. “No. But you go really quiet when you do a lot of thinking.
Want to talk about it?”
He sat up and faced
her. “I don’t know anything about heart attacks. What’s going to
happen now? Does he modify his diet and do more exercise, and then
he’ll be fine? Or does he have to have surgery?”
“I imagine that
depends on the severity of the blockage. If it’s not too bad, a
change in diet and exercise might help him.”
“And if it’s more
than that?”
“Then they’ll need
to do more.”
“Like?”
“Angioplasty. Maybe
a bypass surgery.”
He leaned back in
the chair, took a long swallow of the toxictasting coffee, and
studied her. “Since when did you become an expert on all things
cardiac related?”
Her lips lifted.
“Don’t tell anyone, but I’m a reality-medicalshow junkie. I know
just enough to be dangerous. Medical diagnoses intrigue me, so I
watch every medical show I can when I have a spare
minute.”
“Get the fuck outta
town.”
“No, I’m
serious.”
He stared at her,
wondering what else he didn’t know about her. “There are facets to
you that continue to surprise me.”
She took a sip of
coffee. “Good. I hate being predictable.”
“You are anything
but predictable, Lizzie.”
He leaned over and
brushed his lips against hers. “Thank you for being here with me
tonight. I couldn’t have made it without you.”
“No place I’d rather
be, for as long as you need me.”
Her words made him
lean back, look at her. Really look at her. There was something in
her eyes . . .
“Gavin.”
Gavin lifted his
gaze to Jenna. He stood and so did Elizabeth.
“Doctor’s back. He
said for us to meet him in one of their family discussion rooms,
and he’s going to talk to us in about ten minutes.”
They followed Jenna
to the room and sat. And waited. Ten minutes turned into thirty.
Gavin’s skin crawled, and he was ready to climb the walls. He
squeezed Elizabeth’s hand on one side and his mother’s on the
other.
Finally, the doctor
came in.
“I’m Dr. Miles
Spinelli, one of the cardiac surgeons here. Mrs. Riley, your
husband has a blockage in three arteries.”
His mother squeezed
Gavin’s hand. Hard.
“What does that
mean?” she asked.
“It means he’s going
to need triple-bypass surgery.”
“Oh,
God.”
Tears fell down her
face. Gavin wrapped his arm around his mother, and Mick held her,
too. Mick held Jenna’s hand, and they all sat and listened while
the doctor described the bypass surgery and what it would entail
for their dad. The doctors were going to strip veins from his leg
and use those to bypass the clogged arteries in his heart. It was a
complicated and dangerous surgery, but the doctor indicated it was
done frequently with a high success rate. He would have to spend
about five days in the hospital after surgery, and after that would
be sent home with strict dietary and exercise instructions. The
recovery would be slow and would require some lifestyle
changes.
“The important thing
is, he’s alive. He survived the heart attack. Many don’t. Now we’ll
get him moved up to a room in the cardiac care unit, monitor him
over the next twenty-four hours, and get him ready for surgery on
Monday.”
Everyone stood as
the doctor left.
“Well. He dodged a
bullet,” Mick said.
Gavin’s mother
looked pale, her tear-streaked face more than Gavin could handle.
If his father had always been a rock, his mother had been Mount
Everest. She held the family together, and if she fell apart, the
rest of them would, too.
Right now she looked
as fragile as a cracked egg.
Jenna took both of
Mom’s hands in hers.
“He’s alive, Mom,”
Jenna said. “Remember that. He’s still with us. He’s going to make
it through this just fine.”
“That’s true,” Gavin
said. “Dad’s one of the toughest guys I’ve ever known. He’s going
to fight.”
She nodded, glanced
at each of them. “I’m so glad I have all of you.” Then she shifted
her gaze to Tara and Elizabeth. “And the two of you, too. I don’t
know what I’d do without you all in my life. You give me such
strength. I’m going to need all of you to get through this—to get
Jimmy through this.”
“We’ll all be here
for you, Mom,” Gavin said. “Whatever you need.”
She swept her palm
across his cheek, then kissed him and hugged him.
“I’m going to go see
your father now before they get his room ready.”
Gavin exhaled,
dragged his fingers through his hair. He didn’t even know what time
it was, what time they’d gone to sleep last night, or what time
Jenna had called. It felt like there was a boulder tied around his
neck, dragging him down.
“Someone needs to
convince Mom to go home and get some sleep.”
“I’ll take her,”
Jenna said. “She’ll probably want to stay up here with Dad tonight,
so she’ll need a shower and a change of clothes. I’ll make her
something to eat.”
Mick nodded. “We can
do shifts up here with her so she’s not alone.”
“I don’t know that
they’ll allow more than one family member at a time in there,”
Elizabeth said. “ICU usually only permits one or two. CCU might be
different. You might want to check.”
Mick narrowed his
gaze at her. “And now you’re an expert on hospitals? You just know
everything, don’t you?”
Tara laid her hand
on his arm. “Mick . . .”
He shrugged it away.
“What’s she doing here anyway, Gavin? Just because you’re fucking
her doesn’t mean she’s family.”
Tired, wired on bad
coffee, and worried about his dad, Gavin didn’t need this right
now. But he understood Mick probably felt the same tension.
“Whatever beef you have with Elizabeth doesn’t belong in the halls
of a hospital. Dad wouldn’t want this, and Mom sure as hell doesn’t
need it. Let it go.”
“It’s okay. I can
go. I don’t want to be the cause of family tension when you all
need to be rallying around your mother.”
Gavin swiveled and
grasped her arm as she turned to leave. “You’re here because I
asked you to come with me. You have as much right to be here as
anyone else.”
“Gavin, really, it’s
all right. Your brother doesn’t want me here. I’ll
go.”
“Nonsense,
Elizabeth. I want you here. You’ll stay.”
Gavin turned at his
mother’s words. She stood outside the door to his father’s room,
looking small and lost, but her eyes burned fire as she looked at
Mick.
“Michael, this is
the last time I want to hear you say an unwelcoming word to
Elizabeth. Is that understood?”
Mick gave a curt
nod.
“I need all of you
here. I need all the support I can get right now, and that includes
Elizabeth, who I consider family. It’s times like this that
forgiveness is more important than anything. Come here,
Elizabeth.”
Elizabeth walked
slowly over to Gavin’s mother, who wrapped her arm around
her.
“You’ve been family
a long time. Remember the talk we had. You’re always welcome around
us. Gavin will need you now more than ever.”
She lifted her gaze
to his mother. “I’ll do whatever I can to help all of
you.”
She kissed the top
of Elizabeth’s head. “Thank you.”
“Mom, let me take
you home so you can take a shower and get some clean clothes,”
Jenna said. “I figure you’ll want to stay with Dad.”
She nodded. “I’ll
wait until he gets settled in a room. The nurse said that might
take several hours, and I don’t want to leave him alone in there.
You can run me home after he gets moved. The rest of you, go home
and get some rest and something to eat. When Jenna and I are ready
to leave, I’ll call and one of you can come up here and sit with
your dad.”
It was hard to leave
his dad—and his mom—but Elizabeth pulled him away, and they headed
back to her place so he could pick up his SUV. She grabbed a change
of clothes and followed him to his house.
He let her inside,
wanting nothing more than to just crash and sleep for like twelve
hours. Or maybe twenty-four.
“I’m going to fix
you something to eat.”
He raked his fingers
through his hair, not even able to think. “I’m just going to
sleep.”
“You need to eat
something first because if your mom calls you won’t eat
then.”
He sat at the table,
too tired to argue with her. She had scrambled eggs, bacon, and
toast on a plate in a hurry. He downed the glass of orange juice
and dove into the food, not realizing how hungry he was until he’d
cleaned his plate.
“I was
starving.”
She scooped the last
of her eggs onto her fork. “Obviously. Would you like
more?”
“No, this was
enough. Thanks for cooking for me.”
“You’re welcome. Not
quite the gourmet cook you are, but I can manage the
basics.”
He leaned over and
kissed her. “You cook just fine. Now let me help you with the
dishes.”
She laughed. “I can
handle those. I’m sure you want to take a shower, maybe change
clothes.”
He pulled her
against him. “What I really need is to sleep. At least a couple of
hours.”
She took his hand
and led him upstairs to his bedroom. He felt like he was on
autopilot, like none of this had really happened.
He sat on the edge
of his bed and kicked off his shoes, stared down at his
feet.
Elizabeth sat next
to him, silent but there.
“He’s not old enough
for this, Lizzie.”
She rubbed his back.
“I know.”
“He’s so strong,
always out there playing ball with us or tinkering around with
something or working at the bar. I thought he’d live
forever.”
“He’s still here,
Gavin. He’s going to be fine.”
He stood and moved
to the window. It was daylight now. Hell, he didn’t know what time
it was. He barely even registered what day it was. Sunday? He had a
game today.
“I need to call
Coach, let him know what’s going on. I have a game this
afternoon.”
“Already taken care
of.”
He turned to
her.
“I called him when
you were in with your dad. They have you covered. Coach said not to
worry about a thing.”
He nodded.
“Thanks.”
“It’s okay to fall
apart, Gavin.”
He blinked, looked
at her. “What?”
“You don’t have to
be the big, strong man. Not in front of me. I’ve known you too long
for that.”
“I don’t know what
you’re talking about.”
She came up behind
him. “You’re crushed about this. You’re father could have
died.”
The ache was a
constant, but he was glad she was there to help him through it. He
wrapped his arm around her.
“There’s nothing
scarier than the possibility of losing someone you
love.”
Where was she going
with this? He frowned, looked down at her. Tears shimmered in her
eyes.
She had no family,
none that counted anyway.
Except
his.
He pulled her around
to face him. “It’s okay to love them like they’re yours,
Lizzie.”
Her bottom lip
trembled.
His tough Elizabeth,
never one to show weakness to anyone. She had to be everyone’s
rock. Who was hers?
“Baby, I’m okay,” he
said.
“You
sure?”
“Yes.”
He drew her against
him, and she let out a hiccup of a sob, and he realized she was the
one who needed to fall apart.
“It’s okay. Let it
go.”
She shuddered, then
gasped, clutching the back of his shirt as she wrapped her arms
around him and released into a full cry.
Oh, damn. It was
gut-wrenching hearing her sob out her heartache over his dad. Tears
pricked his eyes as he held on to her while she wept. He stroked
her hair, kissed her head, held tight to her, and let her cry it
out. And with every tear she shed, he realized that the shell she
kept around herself all these years was nothing but a façade to
protect herself.
This was the real
Elizabeth.
She had a heart. She
had feelings. She cared.
She cared about his
family, about him. She cared about his father, his mother. She even
cared about Mick, and she’d made a mistake, a mistake she’d paid
heavily for.
And she’d had no one
to lean on when she fell.
She sniffed, pulled
back, and tilted her head to look at him. Despite the tear-streaked
face, she’d put the shell back on, because she was smiling
again.
“I think I’m
supposed to be taking care of you.”
He swept his thumb
across her cheek, wiping away the remnant of a tear. “You
did.”
“I’m sorry, Gavin. I
didn’t mean to fall apart like that.” She tried to pull back, but
he wouldn’t let her, held her there in his arms.
“You’re entitled to
care about my father.”
“Of course I care
about your father.”
She was trying to
brush it off as something less than what it was to her. He wasn’t
going to let it go that easy. “Sometimes the world falls apart.
Sometimes your world falls apart. And it’s okay for you to let
people in and let them see you crumble.”
She lifted her chin,
her barriers back in place. “You didn’t crumble.”
“Didn’t I? You’ve
been leading me around for hours now. I wouldn’t have been able to
find my way to the hospital, let alone my dad’s room, without you
guiding me. I was in a haze, Lizzie. I couldn’t have done it
without you helping me.”
She blinked,
droplets clinging to the spikes of her lashes. Her eyes were wide
pools of sea green, mesmerizing him. Her lips parted, and he
suddenly wanted to offer her comfort and maybe take some for
himself.
He brushed his lips
against hers. Without question she kissed him back, her soft hands
at his back switching to her nails digging in as the quiet kiss
turned more demanding.
Passion flared, and
need arose. Hunger flashed between them, and Gavin pushed her onto
the bed. Elizabeth pulled off her top, kicked off her sandals, and
scooted back on the bed, already drawing her Capris down her hips
while he tore his shirt over his head and reached for the button
and zipper of his jeans.
She had her bra and
panties off by the time he was naked. He climbed onto the bed and
grabbed her, needing the feel of her skin against his. It had only
been hours since they’d made love, but his need for Elizabeth was
like a hunger that hadn’t even come close to being satisfied. Only
she could give him what he needed. He needed to get lost inside
her, to shut out what had happened at least for a little while, to
feel nothing but pleasure, nothing but her heart beating against
his, his cock swelling inside her, her heat surrounding
him.
She held out her
arms, and he came to her, already hard. He slid inside her and put
his mouth on her mouth, driving away everything but her touch, her
taste, her skin against his. Her moans and the way she lifted
against him were all he needed right now.
She wrapped her legs
around him, and he drove against her, lifting up on his hands to
look down at her as her gaze met his. Her lips parted, her lids
partially closed as he shifted and ground against her, making sure
to rock his body against her clit. He wanted to take her there, to
make her come so she’d shatter around him.
She scored her nails
down his arms, the sensation rocketing to his balls. He shifted and
drove deeper inside her, reaching for one of her legs so he could
push her knee against her chest, needing to be deeper inside
her.
“Kiss me,” she
whispered.
He dropped down on
top of her, slipped one hand underneath her, and pressed his lips
to hers. His balls tightened as he felt the rushing train of his
climax approaching. Her tongue wound with his, and all he could
think of was being alive. The only thing that mattered at this
moment was being here with Elizabeth, being one with her, losing
himself within her, inside her as she moaned against his lips. Her
pussy convulsed around him, and then she was coming and so was he.
He tightened his hold on her and let go, groaning as he came with
hard thrusts, burying his face in her neck and knowing there was no
one he could let go with like this but Elizabeth.
After, he kissed her
neck and her earlobe, and tunneled his fingers in her hair before
lifting up to look at her.
“Thank
you.”
She smoothed her
fingers over his brow. “You’re welcome.”
Instead of jumping
out of bed to grab a shower and change of clothes, he pulled her
against him, stroked her hair, and kissed the back of her
neck.
“Do you need to go?
Do you have work to do?” he asked.
“Nothing that can’t
wait.” She turned to face him, pulled the covers up over them both,
and laid her head on his chest. “Sleep, Gavin.”
He was out as soon
as he closed his eyes.