37

A police cruiser was sitting in the driveway when I got home, Dad’s car parked behind it and a battered red Jeep behind it. A feeling of dread washed over me. I trudged up the driveway and let myself in the house.

“Oh, thank God!” Mom cried, rushing from the living room to the front door. She wrapped herself around my neck. “Thank God!”

“Mom… ?” I said. “What’s… ?”

A uniformed officer followed her into the entryway. He looked none too pleased to be there. He was followed by Dad, who looked even less happy than the officer. I peered into the living room and saw Dr. Hieler, sitting on the couch, the lines in his face making it look harsh and tired.

“What’s going on?” I asked, pulling away from Mom. “Dr. Hieler… ? Did something happen?”

“We were about to issue an Amber Alert,” Dad said, his voice ragged with anger. “Jesus, what next?”

“Amber alert? Why?”

But then the officer was ambling toward me. “You probably don’t want to be picked up as a runaway,” he said to me. “Just so you know.”

“Runaway? I’m not. I wasn’t. Mom…”

He headed for the front door and Mom followed him, thanking him and apologizing. The radio on his shoulder was squawking and I missed most of what they said.

Dr. Hieler got up and shrugged into his jacket. He came toward me, his face looking confused and sad and angry and relieved all at the same time. Once again I thought about his family at home. What domestic serenity had I kept him from tonight? Was his wife at home, secretly wishing I had run away for good?

“The grave?” he asked very quietly. Neither Mom nor Dad heard him. I nodded; he nodded. “See you Saturday,” he said. “We’ll talk then.” And then he, too, was speaking softly to Mom in the doorway—apologies on both sides of the conversation now—and shaking Dad’s hand as he left. I watched the officer race away in his cruiser and Dr. Hieler climb into his Jeep and pull away without fanfare.

“I’ve got to get back,” Dad said to Mom. “Let me know if you need anything. And my opinion still stands. She needs more help than she’s getting, Jenny. You’ve got to stop letting her make all of us miserable.” He cut his eyes to me. I looked away.

“I’ve heard you, Ted,” Mom said with a sigh. “I’ve heard you.”

Dad put one hand on Mom’s shoulder and gave it a quick pat, then disappeared through the front door.

Mom and I stood in the empty entryway regarding one another.

“This was quite a show,” she said bitterly. “Once again. We had reporters in our yard. Once again. Dr. Hieler had to chase them away. I was giving you the benefit of the doubt, Valerie, and once again look what’s happened. Maybe your father’s right. You can’t have an inch or you’ll take a mile.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t know. I swear, I wasn’t running away. I just took a walk.”

“You’ve been gone for hours, Valerie. You didn’t tell anyone where you were going. I thought you’d been kidnapped. Or worse. I thought that Troy kid had done something to you like he threatened.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I really didn’t realize.”

“Bull,” said a voice from the landing above us. We both looked up. Frankie was standing there in a pair of boxers and a T-shirt, his hair sticking straight out to one side.

“Frankie,” Mom warned, but he cut her off.

“Dad’s right—all she does is cause trouble.”

“I said I was sorry,” I repeated. It seemed like the only thing I could do. “I wasn’t trying to cause anything. I went to the cemetery and started talking to Duce and lost track of time, I guess. I should’ve called.”

Mom looked at me, startled. “Duce Barnes?”

I looked down.

“Oh, Valerie, he’s one of them,” she breathed. “He’s one of those Nick-types. Didn’t you learn? Everything you’ve got going on and all you can do is hang around with boys and get into trouble?”

“No, it’s not like that,” I said.

“I had soccer tryouts today,” Frankie yelled from the top of the stairs. “But I couldn’t go because both Mom and Dad were here, freaking out because you were missing. God, Valerie, I try to be on your side, but all you think about is yourself. You think you and Nick were everybody’s victims,” he said. “But even now that Nick’s gone, you still do stuff to make people miserable. It’s impossible. Just like Dad says. You’re impossible. I’m sick of my life always having to revolve around yours.” He stomped back into his room and slammed the door shut.

“Very nice,” Mom said, gesturing to the space where Frankie had just been standing. “Why is it that you can’t let us have just one good day? Here I was trusting you and—”

“And I did nothing wrong,” I interrupted, practically shouting. “I took a walk, Mom. I didn’t ruin your day. You ruined it by not trusting me.” Mom’s mouth hung open, her eyes wide. “When are you guys going to get it? I didn’t shoot anybody! I didn’t do it! Stop treating me like a criminal. I’m sick and tired of taking all the blame around here.” I heard Frankie’s door squeak open a crack, but didn’t look up. Instead, I briefly closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. The last thing I wanted was to cause more drama for Frankie. “I took a walk to say goodbye,” I said evenly, opening my eyes and looking at Mom. “You should be really happy. Nick’s officially out of my life forever. Maybe you can trust me now.”

Mom closed her mouth, dropped her hands to her sides. “Well,” she said after a long while. “At least you’re safe.” She turned and walked up the stairs, leaving me in the entryway alone. Above me, I heard Frankie’s door click shut again. Yeah, I thought. Safe.