Chapter Five

“Shay, I need to be alone with Sunny.” Jamie met Sunny’s gaze with smoldering determination. His eyes were bloodshot, undoubtedly from the few moments he’d looked at Kiel. Sunny hoped his vision wasn’t damaged, and had to fight the urge to rush to his side, to ensure that he was al right.

Not one of them spoke. Shay sat in the chair, stunned and unmoving. Meanwhile, Jamie kept on looking right at Sunny, almost as if he could see into her, inside her rapidly beating heart. Shame fil ed her throat with bile. Embarrassment caused her to stare at the floor.

Shay moved wordlessly toward the doorway, and before Sunny could stop her, she drew Sunny into a tight, reassuring embrace. “It’s okay,” she murmured against Sunny’s cheek. “We won’t tel anyone else. I promise. We both do. You are safe with us; I promise you that, too.”

Sunny nodded as Shay released her, hurrying up the worn wooden stairs that led to the first floor. She watched Shay vanish, desperate to look at anything except Jamie Angel. She couldn’t blame him for tel ing Shay, not real y—and yet, it stil stung, after al she’d risked just to kiss him.

Wrapping her arms about herself, she shivered, avoiding Jamie physical y. But she should’ve known he’d have none of that, and his large, strong hand touched her shoulder.

“Are you al right? Safe now?” he inquired softly.

She bobbed her head, staring at the floor. “It wil be okay.”

“Then look at me, Sunny,” he murmured, stroking her upper arm. He was doing it again, getting physical with her when he should keep his distance.

She swerved away from his caress. “It’s al right for now, but only if we don’t touch again. Kiss again. None of that can happen. Ever.”

“I hate that. I can’t tel you how much I hate it.” His voice was husky and fil ed with emotion. “But I don’t want you to suffer anything ’cause of me.”

She put her back to him, fighting tears. “And you don’t want to burn in hel . Like you said to Shay,” she remarked with a trace of bitterness.

“I’m not worried about me! You know that.” He placed strong hands on both her shoulders, forcing her to turn and face him. She didn’t want him to see her tear-fil ed eyes. The pain in her heart was about him—and yet it so exceeded the bounds of this moment. It stretched over centuries of loneliness, the aching for someone to have as her own, not just to watch over, nor to protect objectively.

He slid two fingertips underneath her chin, tilting her face until their gazes locked. “I’ve hurt you.

I’m so sorry.”

She pressed her eyes shut. “You don’t understand. How can you?”

“Make me understand. Tel me what’s going on inside you right now.”

His hand was stil brushing beneath her chin, and she shoved it away in frustration. “Didn’t you hear what I said? No more touching. I could be punished if we do.”

He smiled at her. “That wasn’t sexual. Just to be clear. I’m sure your team would know that.”

She walked to the far side of the room and began idly thumbing through a stack of leather-bound volumes, unstacking and stacking them. “I wish I were human. And for an angel, that is a sin,” she said after a moment. “Fal s under ‘thou shalt not covet.’ ”

“But you look completely human. I’ve seen a few angels in my day, and you’re not like any of

’em.”

She gazed down at one of the books on the table. Angels Among Us. Only then did she realize that every volume in the pile was about her kind. “You pul ed al these out? To find out more about me? Us?”

He leaned against a tal bookshelf. “Force of habit in my line of work. Encounter something you He leaned against a tal bookshelf. “Force of habit in my line of work. Encounter something you don’t know, research the hel out of it.” He barked a laugh. “Pardon the choice of words.”

She walked across the room and sat down at the rol -top desk. “I’l make it easier on you. I’l explain exactly what I’m doing here on Earth. But then, Jamie? We can’t ever be together again, not even as friends.”

A long time ago, Jamie had taken to making short-term bargains he didn’t exactly intend to keep.

This was one of those times. Somehow, some way, he was determined that he’d be able to see more of Sunny. He couldn’t imagine not seeing her now. Friendship, perhaps, but he wanted far more. On the other hand, he’d meant what he said: He didn’t want to cause her to be hurt or punished, and he real y didn’t want to tick off God in the process.

He’d learned another habit in his years as a hunter, too: Sometimes you real y could get your way even if it meant bending supposed spiritual “rules.” This was also one of those times. Or so he darn wel hoped and prayed.

Sunny brushed a hand through her curls, her agitation obvious. “I’m Kate’s guardian angel,” she said after a moment. “What we term an earthly guardian, sent in human form.”

Jamie processed that revelation. He’d never read or heard of such a thing, but that wasn’t surprising, since she and her fel ow human guardians looked and seemed . . . human.

“I’m sorry, but vampires need guardian angels? That’s what you’re tel ing me? Are there many of you?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m not on the priority list when it comes to information. I’m what you’d cal . . .” She laughed unexpectedly, but sadness lurked in her gaze. “I’m lower-rung, Jamie.”

“Lower-rung among the most powerful beings God ever created. That’s top tier of everything else,” he said, momentarily trying to forget that he’d kissed her. So long as he compartmentalized his lust for her from her angelic nature, he could keep it together.

“I’m what they cal a ‘young one.’ ”

“What’s that mean? You haven’t been around since the beginning? Since creation?”

She smiled and his heart skipped a beat. She was so beautiful, even in the midst of a difficult conversation. The way her eyes sparkled, lit with an inner fire of goodness and light. The way she looked at him, as if he were the most important person in her universe at the moment.

She didn’t explain her laugh or answer his question, just kept smiling faintly. Some of the tension eased between them, and he relaxed, leaning against the shelf.

“You can tel me,” he encouraged. “Whatever it is, I can handle it.”

“I have no doubt about that, James Angel. No, I’m not one of the originals. More of an afterthought, a later model, so to speak.”

“That makes me feel so much less creepy.” He snorted. “I mean, nothing like knowing you’re lusting after one of God’s heavenly host to make you feel like you should be on some offender list, somewhere.”

“You probably are,” she said, her smile fading. “Unfortunately, we both are.”

“Yeah, there is that,” he agreed. “So how old are you, then, exactly?”

“I don’t know. My human self is twenty-seven, though, for whatever that’s worth.”

He glanced sideways at her, his brow furrowed. “How can you not know?”

“We’re not made to remember. It creates too many complications. I remember this life, here on Earth as Kate’s guardian . . . and some memories from before I was sent down here. Maybe a few hundred years’ worth? But that’s about it.”

“Wow. That’s . . . Don’t you ever wonder what you don’t remember?”

She shook her head. “I’m invested in this life.” She patted her chest. “Being Sunny Renfroe. It’s who I am right now. If anything, being an angel teaches you about the importance of every second of life, how precious every moment real y is.”

It was exactly how he felt about being a hunter. So much time spent serving and witnessing demonic death had taken a tol , but it had also caused him to understand the precarious balance between life and death, good and evil. Stil , despite al that he’d seen, he hadn’t ever encountered anyone, male or female, remotely like Sunny Renfroe.

“You’re an anomaly for me. I mean, don’t take that the wrong way,” he rushed to clarify. “But I’ve never seen a damned thing about human guardians, not in the lore, not out in the field. Actual guardian angels? Yeah, I think I’ve seen my own a few times while in the heat of battle. They’re big and scary like your boss guy. But you? Nothing like you, not ever, Sunny.”

She smiled her wide, enchanting smile once again. “Wel , Jamie Angel, not that you know of.”

“But I knew you weren’t human within moments of meeting you.” He couldn’t help beaming with pride. He wanted her to admire his skil s and abilities, wanted to prove that he could be worthy of her interest, her care. He wanted her to love him.

He realized it right then, a quicksilver thought, right through his heart. He wanted this woman to love him, body and soul. Eternal y or not. Even though he had only known her for a day, he already realized that he was fal ing for her. Hard. He could almost taste how badly he ached for Sunny to turn those wide-set brown eyes on him and whisper words of affection.

And it was utterly forbidden.

He stared at the floor, trying to stil his racing thoughts. She’d said something, but he couldn’t seem to focus or hear.

“Hmm?” he tried, gazing at his booted feet.

“I was explaining about Kate. Why I’m her guardian.”

He forced himself to glance upward, trying his level best to appear composed. “I’m sorry; I was just . . . processing. Taking it al in,” he said, not wanting her to read his thoughts or his heart. “So Kate . . .”

“Because she’s a vampire, her guardian must be in human form. Otherwise her special sight would reveal the angel’s identity.”

“And that’s the part I don’t get. You’re saying angels watch over vampires?” He gaped at her, unable to keep the revulsion out of his voice. “Why would God protect a band of bloodthirsty creatures like them?”

Sunny’s eyes flashed with mild anger. “Jamie, did you not just hear me? I’m Kate’s guardian angel. Please don’t speak about her so disrespectful y . . . or her kind. They’re God’s creatures, too, and they aren’t evil. They’re also very vulnerable, and as you wel know, God protects his own.”

It was going to take a while for him to think of vampires as vulnerable or as “God’s own,” but he also recognized that Sunny would know far better than he would. Made him more than thankful that he’d recently cal ed off any plans to hunt vampires. At least there was one thing he’d done right in this whole fiasco, and maybe that would chalk up a few heavenly points in his favor.

“Okay, vampires aren’t evil. Noted. I’l be sure to update the company files. So tel me, then—

how did Kate luck out and get you?”

“It’s the way with al vampires. Their watchers are sent like I was . . . into their lives. Friends, relatives, neighbors . . . we take a number of roles in the vampire’s life, but the purpose is always the same: to guard them from demons—” She stopped short for a moment, anxiously fiddling with the hem of her sweater, obviously hesitating for some reason. “And we protect them from misguided hunters, ones who believe the falsehoods and myths about vampirekind. People like . .

. you.”

“That might just be the worst I’ve felt al night, Sunny Renfroe,” he said, kicking himself for al the years he’d tormented Kate, needled her about one thing or another.

She shook her head vehemently. “You’re a good hunter, Jamie. Excel ent. You didn’t know.... It was part of why I came today. I thought, wel , maybe I could help you understand in some way.

Influence you.”

“You certainly affected me,” he said in a voice that sounded seductive, even to him.

Sunny didn’t miss his tone or implication, rising suddenly to her feet. “And now I’ve answered your questions,” she said with false brightness. “I should go find Kate. . . .”

He caught her arm, spinning her toward him. She pushed back against his chest, but not very hard—and not very convincingly. He slid one hand around her lower back, not holding her too close, but near enough. “I have to see you again, Sunny. Friends. We can be at least that, right?”

Her palms stil rested against his chest, and he swore he felt the heat of her skin through his long-sleeved T-shirt. “Friends?” She searched his face, brown eyes flicking back and forth across his features. Perhaps she was trying to read his true intentions.

“Just friends. I want more, but . . .” He pressed his nose against the top of her head, inhaling the lavender scent of shampoo. “I’m realistic.”

“Yes, of course. You want to be friends with a guardian angel. Both your feet are planted firmly on the ground.”

“We already are friends,” he countered. “Wouldn’t you say? So I’m real y just arguing for a continuation of the status quo.”

She sighed into him slightly, then stepped backward. “You are a highly persuasive individual.”

“I try my best.” He gave her a flirtatious yet simultaneously sweet smile, a contradiction, just like the man himself.

Sunny walked to the other side of the room without answering, and at first he thought she never would. But then she paused at the bottom of the steps, turning toward him. “Okay. Friends for now

. . . unless I hear an objection from Kiel. And if I do? You might never see me again anyway.”