Eleven

A Gaming Pedagogue

Philip tried to stay away, to occupy himself otherwise, but after only a few days he was drawn back, as ore to a lodestone. Although she yet refused to acknowledge the growing magnetism between them, Philip knew she was as uncomfortably aware of it as he was. Yet when he called upon her, it was as if their honest, candid, and unmasked moments had never transpired.

“You’ve had a change of heart? You will teach me after all?” she asked hopefully.

“I will teach you the basics, my lady.” He had yet to discover her true game, but somehow she’d engendered in him a desire to protect her, if only from herself.

“I am delighted!” she exclaimed, giving him a fleeting glimpse of the damsel in distress from Belsize House and the pert maid of Cuper’s Garden. Just as quickly however, she transformed back to the Merry Widow Messingham, hiding behind her firmly fixed society façade. “Shall we begin with the cards, or do you prefer the dice?” she asked, indicating a chair at the green baize-covered table.

“Cards,” he said. “No dice. The game is too fast and the stakes run too high. I’ll teach you whist, loo, and perhaps piquet, the more genteel games you would be expected to know. The ones most frequently played at any assembly, dinner party, musicale, or rout.”

He had conceded, against his better judgment, to teach her a few games. When he joined her at the table, it was with reluctance, but he decided with a glimpse of her milky breasts as she leaned forward for the cards that it was not such an onerous charge after all.

“What game shall it be? I would much like to learn piquet.” Lady Messingham knew many people wagered high on the game.

“You must first learn how to shuffle.”

“But I already know how to shuffle,” she protested. “I wish to learn your tricks with the cards.”

Philip laughed. “So innocent of the arts, and yet the lady would aspire to the society of the Greeks? Pray allow me.” He purposely brushed her hand as he retrieved the deck from her fingers.

Taking the cards in his right hand, Philip used his middle finger to cut the deck into two perfectly even stacks. Then, with the expertise of a professional conjurer, he spread the cards fanlike onto the table and then flipped them to ripple over one another like a row of dominos. The effect was as if they were suddenly animated. Smoothly sweeping them back up, Philip then performed a precise and rapid series of softly clicking riffles and flawless bridges. He completed the act by fanning them once again, face upward, onto the table.

Lady Messingham’s eyes grew wider and rounder as she followed the deft movements of his hands, but gaped outright upon discovering the cards once more in perfect order. “Amazing!” she gasped. “And I thought your talent limited to dice! How do you do it?”

“Simply the product of my misspent youth,” he remarked dryly.

“You will teach me this?”

“God no! Even if we had the time, do you wish to announce yourself an Athenian to the world? ’Twas but a conjuring trick I used only to achieve that priceless look of awe on your lovely face. My little performance was sheer vanity, my lady, nothing more. There are three cardinal rules to live by at the tables. Rule the first: one succeeds best at the tables by appearing an errant novice.”

“Is that so?” she asked, her interest completely engaged. “What is rule the second?

“Ah, rule the second is of paramount importance.” He gave her a meaningful look. “Know when to quit the table.”

“But how can one know? The luck can always reverse in one’s favor again.”

“An absolute fallacy. Luck tires as surely as the mind, and once fortune turns, it rarely reverses. I tried to tell you as much at Belsize House.”

She had the sense to look shamed. “I’m sorry I didn’t heed you, Philip. I was so caught up in the game, you see.”

“This segues right into the third rule. If you choose to follow no other rule, hearken to this one: never engage to play with a troubled mind or excited emotions. Lucidity of the mind is crucial and once one’s emotions become engaged in the play, all is lost.”

“But isn’t the emotional charge the attraction? The thrill of winning?”

“More than balanced by the anguish of loss.”

“I have seen you at dice, Philip. Though you hide it well, I refuse to believe you maintain such a cool detachment from the game.”

“I don’t deny the temptation. The table to a gamester is as powerful as the lure of cheap gin to a drunkard, but in both cases those who cannot exercise control are surely doomed to hell. I have come to know my limits in gaming, and if you endeavor to play, I entreat you to learn the same.”

“Oh, fear not for me,” she said. “I intend to play with care.”

“I pray that is true. Women who play deep risk far more than financial ruin.”

“La! How you go on. As if I would be so careless with my virtue! Besides, I told you I intend to win.” Her confidence didn’t waver. “Now, be pleased to show me how.”

While she still exuded feminine charm, he now detected a steeliness he had never before remarked.

“As you wish.” He gave a resigned shrug. “We’ll begin with a very clumsy shuffle, and then proceed to deal the cards to your advantage.”

“Is that possible? How can one control the placement of the cards when the entire purpose of shuffling is to randomize them?”

“’Tis child’s play, my lady. Let us say that we have just completed a rubber of… a simple game… let’s call it five-card loo. The player to your right has just played Pam—”

“The knave of clubs,” she volunteered.

He nodded and then fanned the deck in search of this card, adding, “Otherwise known as Pamphilus, the ultimate trump card. You have taken note of Pam’s position on the table and are next to deal. While collecting up the cards you place Pam on the bottom of the pack.” Showing her the card, he places it under the stack in his hand.

“You divide the cards into two slightly uneven stacks with Pam on the bottom of the larger. You then commence by first riffling the bottom card of the larger stack, whereby Pam remains on the bottom. You split the cards in like fashion, and in repeating the maneuver, Pam will ever remain ‘civil’ in his place.” He finished the demonstration with a flourish. “You then bottom deal the ultimate trump card to yourself. You try now.” He handed her the pack.

After a few clumsy attempts, she squealed with glee at her success. “But it is so simple!”

He answered with a vulpine grin, “The best tricks usually are.”