Monday 17 November 2003
In the early hours of the morning, just before it got light, just as I was about to fall asleep, he pulled himself closer to me, gritting his teeth against the pain.
‘Catherine,’ he whispered, close to my ear.
‘Mm?’
A pause. I opened my eyes, making out the shape of him, close to me. ‘I lied to you,’ he said.
I tried to sit up, but he held me down. ‘Just listen. I lied to you about what I do. I’m not just working on the door at the River; there’s other stuff I do as well.’
‘What other stuff?’ I murmured.
‘I can’t tell you, not yet. I’m sorry, and I promise I will never lie to you about anything ever again.’
‘Why can’t you tell me?’
‘Lots of reasons.’
‘Will you ever be able to tell me?’
‘Probably. Just not yet.’
‘Is it something bad?’
‘Sometimes.’
There was a pause. I felt his hand stroking my hair, stroking it back from my face, incredibly gently.
‘If you ask me about anything else, I’ll answer it,’ he said.
‘Are you married?’ I said.
‘No.’
‘With someone?’
‘No.’
I thought about this for a moment. ‘Am I going to regret falling for you?’
He gave a small laugh and kissed my cheek, very softly. ‘Probably. Anything else?’
‘Are you a good man or a bad man?’
‘That depends on whether you’re a good woman or a bad woman.’
I considered this response and decided it was a clever one.
‘Are you going to turn up on my doorstep with injuries on a regular basis?’
‘I hope not.’
‘What happened to the other bloke?’
‘What other bloke?’
‘The one you were fighting with.’
A pause.
‘He’s in hospital.’
‘Oh.’
‘But he’ll be okay.’
‘Am I going to be able to introduce you to my friends?’
‘Not yet. Soon, I guess. If you want to.’ His hand ran from my cheek, down the side of my neck and over my naked skin, touching me softly, tenderly. ‘Any more questions?’
‘Do you think you could make love to me again?’
His mouth against mine. ‘I think I could give it a try.’