Chapter
Eighteen
“I’ve got you! I’ve got you, baby. Wake
up!”
Connor was frantic. Zoey was screaming,
yanking at her hair and clawing at her head, and he couldn’t seem
to reach her. Finally he pinned her to the rug, grasping her wrists
before she hurt herself. “Zoey!” he shouted, adding a psychic punch
to his words. At last he saw her jerk her eyes open. They were
uncomprehending at first, wide and terrified. And then she saw him,
truly saw him.
“He’s dead,” she blurted. “He’s dead,
and I couldn’t do anything. Nothing!” She shattered into sobs that
shook her whole body.
“Shhh. Who’s dead, honey?” Connor
gathered her into his lap and cradled her, rocking back and forth
as if soothing a child. He kissed the top of her head, nuzzled her
hair.
“The-that man. A farmer.” Tears ran
down her face and trickled onto Connor’s chest. It was several
moments before she could speak again.“I don’t know him. He has cows
and the wolf killed them, killed all of them. And then, and then—oh
God, he was so scared.” The racking sobs overtook her
again.
“The same wolf that attacked you.” He
made it a statement, knowing the answer.
Zoey nodded through the tears, the sobs
starting to catch in her throat.
Jesus, she’s
frozen. She was cold all over and shaking. Connor picked her
up and carried her to the bed, climbed in with her and pulled the
blankets over them both. He held her tightly as his thoughts
whirled.
It hadn’t been Zoey’s screams that woke
him. It was the sudden burst of energy from her that intruded on
his mind, radiating from her like a star gone nova. He’d been fully
awake and staring at her, trying to comprehend what was happening,
when the screaming began.
It was no nightmare that brought her to
such a state, he was certain of that. This could only be the result
of the extrasensory talent that she’d inherited, and he could
easily see why she didn’t consider it a gift. Poor
little falcon. Taking the edge of the sheet, he used it to
gently dab at her face. She was almost cried out, the sobs
transmuting to shuddering hiccups. He kissed her head tenderly,
tucked her closer to his heart and wished he could protect her from
the terrible truth they would surely hear within
hours.
Bernie had finally killed
someone.
Connor awoke first. Daylight came early
this far north. It was probably only five A.M. but the busy sounds of nature poured in the open
window, a cacophony of birdsong and insect buzz, as if it were
midday. As if a man wasn’t lying dead in a field somewhere, his
life cut short by a rogue Changeling.
I’ve got to tell the
Pack. Connor looked down at the woman in his arms. Zoey was
sleeping peacefully at last. He eased away from her and tucked the
comforter close around her. Then went downstairs to make a phone
call he wished he didn’t have to.
Jessie’s voice was quiet and soft, as
it was when she was truly angry. “It’s one thing for Bernie to dare
to invade my territory, flip the finger at the Pack in a situation
where we were surrounded by humans and couldn’t Change. There’s no
Pack law against being an asshole. But this . . . this is my
mistake. He’d already crossed the line when he attacked Zoey and I
foolishly thought that binding his wolf would be enough. Harming a
human is forbidden, and there’s only one penalty for killing one.
Bernie’s life is forfeit.”
Connor knew it. Changeling law was
strict. Bernie would not be allowed to live. He had no love for the
vicious old drunk, but still he felt responsible. “I should have
stopped him.”
“It’s not your fault for not being
omniscient. You don’t control what your gift shows you—or what it
doesn’t.”
Hadn’t he just tried to say the same
thing to Zoey the night before? Small wonder she hadn’t found it
comforting. Didn’t do a damn thing for him either.
“Will you call the Pack?” he asked,
knowing that Bernie’s sentence would be carried out
quickly.
“Yes, but not you.”
“What?”
“Your job is to keep your mate close.
Bernie still wants her and until he’s dead, she’s in
danger.”
“I—”
“I’m sure you want a piece of him,
Connor, but even if you didn’t have Zoey to protect, I would forbid
you to be involved. This is too personal for you.”
Shit. Jessie was
right. He wanted to kill Bernie with his bare hands for
very personal reasons. And because of that,
he needed to step back. But it would be damn hard.
He returned to the bedroom to find Zoey
out on the balcony, clad in only a bath towel. Her freckles were
pure gold in the morning sun and his body shot to attention at
once. Her russet hair was freshly washed, and the moisture in it
made it curl and wave even more than usual. He couldn’t help
wondering what it would feel like to have that long lovely hair
gliss slowly over his cock. . . . She turned and smiled at him, and
concern replaced arousal. Her smile was much too brave, he thought.
Her eyes were deeply shadowed, more from stress and tears than lack
of sleep.
“I borrowed your shower,” she
said.
“Sorry I missed it.” He slid an arm
around her and kissed her thoroughly, tenderly. “Need some
breakfast?”
“No. Not ready for that. The dream . .
.” She let it hang, knowing he understood.
“You still need to eat something. How
about some coffee and one little slice of toast? Just to make
me feel better,” Connor coaxed.
“Maybe in a while.” She slid her arms
around him and they stood for a while, drinking in the fresh
morning air. “You’re so warm. Don’t you ever get
cold?”
“High metabolism.” He was just
contemplating removing that towel from her and warming her up too,
when she stopped him with a question.
“So, yesterday you said you had
something important to tell me?”
Every sense Connor possessed shot to
high alert. The moment of truth had arrived, the conversation that
every Changeling dreaded. He had to tell her, and there wasn’t a
damn thing he could do to make it easier. And considering the
horrifying vision she’d had in the night, it was the worst possible
time to be having this talk. Normally he’d put it off, tell her
tomorrow or next week or next month. But the pale half moon hung in
the bright morning sky, like a ghostly hourglass ticking away time.
Eighteen days. Christ, only seventeen
now.
Connor grasped her hand and took a deep
breath—or tried to, since it didn’t feel like he was getting much
air. “It is important. And it’s difficult to
explain, so I might have to take a couple of runs at it. You have a
psychic gift, so you know there’s more to the world than most
people are aware of.”
“Some gift,” she said bitterly. “Why
didn’t it tell me what was going to happen in advance? Maybe I
could have warned the guy. Maybe you and I could have gone there
and shot that damn wolf before it got a chance to do anything.
Instead, that poor man is dead and it’s my fault.”
“It sure as hell isn’t your fault!”
“See it from my side, will you? This is
exactly what’s been happening to me more and more over the past few
years. I’m not a journalist, I just record the mess after it’s
happened.”
He couldn’t think of a thing to say to
that, so he simply guided her indoors before she caught a chill.
They sat on the bed together, his arm around her
shoulders.
“I guess your gift is different from
mine,” she said at last.
“Not that much. It didn’t tell me what
was going to happen to that farmer either, and it bothers me too. I
don’t get to control what my precognition tells me and that sucks.
It’s not like my other gifts.”
“Your other—oh, you mean communicating
with animals. So you have control of that?”
“I do, most of the time,” he nodded.
“But don’t forget that crazy bull still caught me with my pants
down. So you see, it doesn’t always work the way I’d like it to.
Neither do my other gifts.” He emphasized
the last part deliberately, waited for her to pick it
up.
“You can do more?”
“A whole lot more.”
“Like what? Hey!” Zoey eyed him
suspiciously. “You can’t read my mind, can you?”
“No, nothing like that. Your thoughts
are your own.” He conjured up a ghost of a smile as she looked
relieved. He loved her expressive face. He loved her. And he had to
get this out before he couldn’t. “Zoey, not only can I communicate
with animals, I can become one.”
“Excuse me?”
“I’m a Changeling. Part of me is man
and part of me is wolf.”
She mouthed the word wolf and then laughed. “You had me going there for a
moment. Yeah, I’m really going to believe you’re a big
bad—”
“Werewolf.”
She smiled up at him and then the smile
disappeared as she realized he wasn’t kidding. “Connor, quit
it.”
“Zoey, there are legends of men who
shapeshift in every culture in the world. Every single one. The
Navaho have the Skinwalker, the French have the Loup-Garou, the
Chinese have the—”
“I don’t give a damn what the Chinese
have. Stop it, will you? This isn’t funny in the least. I just had
the worst dream of my life, saw a wolf kill
someone for God’s sake, so this is a damn poor joke.”
“Honey, I wish I was kidding.” He meant it. At this moment in time he
would have traded every one of his extraordinary abilities to be an
ordinary human male. To not have to see the mix of hurt and
confusion on Zoey’s face. “But I’m not.”
She scrambled off the mattress and
began yanking on her clothes.
“Zoey, you have to hear
this.”
“I don’t have to hear your lame-ass
excuses. I thought we had something good between us, something
real, but if I was wrong, have the guts to say so. Don’t dick
around with my head with bizarre stories—”
He was in front of her in a heartbeat,
startling her into backing up. He followed, deliberately stalking
her until she was against the wall, holding her shirt in front of
her like a shield and glaring fiercely. “I love you, Zoey. I want
more than a relationship with you, I want a life with you. I want
children with you, I want all of it, everything. With.
You.”
“Then why the hell are
you—”
“Because I love
you, I have to be up front with you and tell you everything about
me. Including something you don’t want to hear. I’m not fully
human. And you’re not either.”
She blinked at him. “How dare you! How dare you say something like that? Last
night you called my ability a gift and this
morning I’m back to being a goddamn freak?”
“Hell, no!” He had to find a way to
stop putting both feet in his mouth.“I wasn’t talking about your
psychic ability. I meant you’re going to Change.”
“Change how?”
“It wasn’t a wolf that attacked you. It
was another Changeling.”
“A werewolf? You’re saying I was
attacked by a werewolf? You’re as crazy as
that asshole reporter, Helfren.”
“I agree he’s an asshole and a
dangerous one, but he does have a few facts straight.”
She stared at him wordlessly for a long
time. Moisture welled up in her amber eyes but he knew she was
willing the tears not to fall. His own heart bled on their
behalf.
“I’m going home now,” she said at last,
sliding out from between him and the wall and walking over to the
center of the room to finish dressing.
“You love me.” He felt like the ground
was being pulled from under him.
“It sure felt like it. But that was
when I thought I knew you. I don’t know the guy who’s standing in
front of me spouting all this B-movie crap.”
“You do know me.
Nothing’s changed.”
She shook her head. “This is probably
my own fault. This is what I get for making excuses for
you.”
“What the hell do you mean by
that?”
“Come on, Connor, you go along for a
while being Mr. Wonderful and just as I think you’re Mr. Right, you
do something bizarre. Like that time we got all hot and heavy in my
apartment and you took off like the couch was on fire. And at the
party? We all but had sex standing up and bang, you disappeared without a word.” She jammed her
feet into her shoes. “And now? I just had the best night of my life
and now you’re telling me the wildest, most ridiculous story I’ve
ever heard. I don’t know what the hell is the matter is with you,
but you’ve got serious issues with intimacy,
mister!”
He stepped in front of the door just
before she reached it.
“Get out of my way,” she said through
gritted teeth.
“No. Not until you hear me out. I left
your apartment in a hurry that morning because my inner wolf was
not under control. It was reacting to you, and I couldn’t risk
Changing in front of you.”
She all but rolled her eyes at that and
it pissed him off, even though he could hardly blame her. She tried
to move past him, but he blocked her and tried a different tack.
“You’ve already seen my wolf side, Zoey.”
“I’m seeing your lunatic side right
now!”
“I didn’t ditch you that night at the
party. I was standing over you, protecting you. You’ve been
dreaming about a wolf with unusual markings, a silver and black
wolf. And you saw that wolf in my face in
Jessie’s kitchen. You saw it because you have a gift, and it tells
you things that are normally hidden, things that most people don’t
see, can’t see. If you’ll just listen to
your gift, you’ll know that what I’m saying is true.”
She hesitated and he knew he’d struck a
chord. But damned if he had any idea how to follow it up. He wished
he had something brilliant to say but all he had was the truth, a
truth that was completely impossible in the human world she lived
in.
“Are you going to stop me from
leaving?”
His heart sank and he stepped back to
let her pass, then yanked on his jeans and followed her down the
stairs. She beelined out the front door. “Zoey, wait!”
She paused at the bottom of the porch
steps and turned back. The morning sun haloed her hair as she stood
by the riot of flowers and his heart stuttered at the sheer glory
of her. Why the hell did he have to tell her these things? Why
couldn’t they simply be two people in love?
God help him, he almost gave in. Almost
told her what she wanted to hear, almost said, hey, just kidding,
everything’s fine . . . and then he saw it. The faint shell of the
moon in the bright morning sky.
Connor walked down the porch steps like
a condemned man. Only he wasn’t the one condemned. He stopped in
front of Zoey, gently caressed her shoulders with his hands,
remembering the glorious freckles that adorned them like flakes of
gold. She looked at him with hope in her eyes, waiting. Waiting for
him to take it all back, to make it all better between them
again.
“Zoey, I love you with everything I’ve
got in me and then some. But I will not lie to you, not even to
make things easier to hear. I’m a Changeling, but that’s not the
problem.”
“It’s a pretty damn big
prob—”
“You’re going to become one
too.”
She slugged him then. He saw it coming
and allowed her to hit him, permitted her fist to connect with his
jaw. Part of him was impressed with the power of her human punch,
although it barely moved him. The rest of him understood how far
she’d been pushed, how much she needed to
strike back at the terrible words, words that seemed like horrible
lies to human ears. She drew back her fist for another punch and he
seized her wrist in a movement too fast for her to follow. Held it.
“One is all you get,” he said simply. “Now we talk.”
“Talk? There’s
no use in talking if you’re just going to spout more of this
werewolf bullshit.”
He ignored her and continued. “Bernard
Gervais is a Changeling. He bit you and you’re going to become a
Changeling in a little over two weeks. I tried to stop it and I
couldn’t.” He told her about the silver nitrate, in spite of the
fury in her eyes and the disbelief. “Changelings can call out the
wolf at any time, become one whenever they want to. But that first
time, the first Change, always happens on the first full moon after
a bite.”
Zoey yanked her wrist and he released
it. She backed up a couple of steps and folded her arms. “Prove it
then. Do it now. Show me you can do this.”
“Fine.” Frustrated, he called the
Change—and was shocked when nothing happened. Nothing at all. There
was only a faint whine in the back of his mind as if his inner wolf
was complaining. What the hell? Then he
remembered. The goddamn gris-gris. He ripped
the hemp bracelet from his arm and hurled it across the yard,
startling several chickens into brief flight.
Connor tried again to call his wolf.
Again, the Change wouldn’t come, and this time he recalled Jessie’s
warning. There were residual effects to wearing such a powerful
amulet. It might be a day or two, maybe more, before he could run
as a wolf.
Which didn’t do him one damn bit of
good as Zoey watched him with folded arms and raised
eyebrows.
“I’m waiting,” she said, as if he
didn’t already feel like a complete idiot.
“I was wearing a charm. I didn’t want
to Change by accident around you,” he said.
“A charm. Is that as in magic?”
This day couldn’t get any worse. “Yes,”
he admitted.
“I see.” It was obvious she didn’t.
Zoey turned to leave and Connor grabbed her arm.
“Whether or not you believe it, you’re
going to Change on the full moon. And whether you like it or not,
you need my help.”
“I need you to let go of me. I need you
to stay away from me. I need you to get some help for yourself.
You’re out of your fucking mind, Connor Macleod.”
She yanked her arm and he released it,
watched helplessly as she stalked to her truck and drove away.
Connor stood with his hands jammed into his pockets as Zoey’s
vehicle disappeared from sight. He continued to glare out at the
gravel road until the dust had settled and there was no sign she
had ever been there. The wolf within him clawed wildly for release,
to no avail. His heart slammed painfully against his ribs and his
insides felt as if they were being pulled in different directions,
but the Change would not come, thanks to the damn amulet that lay
somewhere in the yard where he’d thrown it.
“Stop it now!”
he ordered his alter ego in a voice that allowed no argument. For
once, his inner wolf appeared to listen and settled uneasily,
waiting. Connor stalked into the house and grabbed the rest of his
clothes. Called the North Star Animal Hospital, told them he wasn’t
coming in and instructed them to send emergencies to the clinic
over in Spirit River.
Lastly, he went to the gun case in the
spare room. He might be stuck in human form, but not having fangs
and claws didn’t stop humans from being the deadliest creatures on
the planet. He passed over the lighter rifles that would take down
ordinary game and instead selected a .375 and loaded it, stuffing
spare shells into his jacket pocket. The H&H magnum rifle had
enough shocking power to stop a charging grizzly—or a very powerful
Changeling. Connor stowed the weapon behind the seat of his pickup
and drove to town.
Zoey might not want him within a
hundred yards of her but whether she liked it or not, she was
getting a bodyguard.