Chapter 14

Someone was trying to break into his house.

At least, it sounded like they were trying to break down the front door.

Why the fuck anyone would want to was beyond Cal. People usually went out of their way to avoid his place. If they even managed to find it in the woods.

The last person who had…

No, not going there.

It’d been almost two weeks since he’d returned from Cimmeria, and he’d made good on his promise to drink himself into a drug-fueled haze where he didn’t know right from left, up from down.

Today, he’d made an insignificant attempt at personal hygiene by brushing his teeth so they didn’t feel coated in fur, and taking a shower.

Bully for him.

His hair hung wet and too long around his face. He hadn’t gotten around to shaving it off yet. He’d thought about it after his shower. Then he’d remembered Tessa running her fingers through it.

And he’d reached for the last bottle of tequila on the counter of the kitchen. That had been… He checked the clock on the stove. An hour ago.

Good, he was still drunk.

He really fucking hoped whoever was pounding on his door would go the fuck away soon because if they didn’t, they might find themselves on the receiving end of his emotional torment.

And he didn’t think they’d enjoy it.

Damn it, his chest still felt like it was going to crack open at any moment. He might not feel physical pain but he still had to deal with the emotional shit storm. And that fucking hurt. Like someone had slammed a wooden pole into his heart and left it there to rot.

Jesus Christ, that pounding was getting on his nerves. Why didn’t they just break a window instead of trying to break down the door?

Oh, yeah. No windows.

Shit.

Maybe a good fight would make him feel better. But even if whoever was out there broke down the door, no one could get through the wards. Well, no one but…

He took a deep breath.

Eventually, they’d have to give up and go away.

“Cal.”

He froze. Damn it, that sounded like Tessa.

He thought he’d stopped hearing her voice. The first few days back, he’d heard her everywhere. Her voice had awakened him every morning and put him to sleep at night. When he dreamed, he’d heard and seen her.

Even though he knew she was gone.

Thump, thump, thump.

Damn it, when the hell was that idiot gonna stop pounding on his door?

As if he’d willed it, the noise stopped.

Then he could have sworn he heard the door open. Only one other person had a key to his door.

“X, go the fuck away.”

Silence. And then, “Cal? Where are you? Why didn’t you answer the door?”

Shit. That was X’s voice.

“I told you to stay the fuck away,” he grumbled. “Why the hell don’t you listen to me?”

“Because you don’t really mean it.”

With his back to the door, Cal couldn’t see X but he felt his presence. The sun must’ve set if his brother had shown up at his door.

He really wasn’t up to dealing with his well-intentioned but pain-in-the-ass brother. Although he guessed he should be happy X had left him alone this long.

“Cal, you’re really gonna want to turn around, dude.”

“Is he still injured?”

His heart tripped over then began to pound like a bass drum. Tessa’s voice again. And this time closer and more distinct than it had been.

He was finally losing it.

He turned his head, ready to blast X for disturbing him. But his lungs seized up on him.

He was hallucinating. He had to be.

Tessa stood behind his chair, her eyes so blue they sparkled, her hair the same bright, sunny red-tinged gold. Dressed in a pretty little pink sundress that tied behind her neck, she practically glowed.

Fuck. He must be asleep because she only came to him in his dreams now. Which really sucked because when he woke, he’d be so fucking depressed he’d need to make a run to the liquor store.

With a sigh, he turned away from her and slumped back into his chair.

“I didn’t answer because I know you’re not real.”

He heard footsteps, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw her walk around his chair until she stood in front of him.

With her hands on her hips and her head cocked to the side, she frowned down at him. But her frown looked more than a little amused. “How do you figure?”

He just shook his head. “Because no one returns from Invol.”

And he really had to get that through his thick fucking head.

When she didn’t disappear into thin air, he resigned himself to having a conversation with a dead woman. And since he figured he was still asleep, it wouldn’t matter if his brother witnessed him talking because X wasn’t really here, either.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you, babe. I’m so sorry.”

Tears welled and began to slip down his cheeks. He blinked, knowing he was completely embarrassing himself. This was getting to be a constant refrain in his dreams. He’d apologize and beg her to come back to him, and she’d just shake her head and disappear. Then he’d wake up.

“But of course you saved me, Cal. Here I am.”

That was new for the dream but he just shook his head.

Tessa’s perfect teeth bit into her upper lip, so hard that the skin turned white. Then she glanced over his shoulder, presumably at X.

“Has he been like this the entire two weeks?”

“I don’t know,” X said. “This is the first time I’ve seen him. I’m thinking I should’ve gotten here a little sooner. But Dad was adamant. He said Cal needed the time alone.”

“And dear old Dad was right. I’m still hallucinating, X, but she’s so damn beautiful that I just don’t care.”

She smiled then but she looked kind of sad. Definitely not how he wanted to remember her.

“X, I think I can take it from here,” she said. “Thanks so much for bringing me. I’ll make sure he calls you later.”

Cal looked over his shoulder at his brother, who just shook his head. “You sure?”

“Absolutely,” Tessa said. “We’ll be fine.”

X looked torn but since none of this was real, Cal let himself brush off his younger brother’s concern. “Fine. Just… make sure you call, okay? We’re all damn worried about him.”

“I’m not a goddamned child,” Cal grumbled, narrowing his gaze at her, afraid that if he closed his eyes, she’d disappear. And he wasn’t ready to lose her again.

“I know that, Cal. But you’ve scared your family. And frankly, you’re scaring me, too. You need to snap out of this.”

Tessa stepped closer and reached out to lay her hand over his on the chair’s arm. Warmth shot up his arm at the contact, making him draw in an unsteady breath.

Wait, this wasn’t how this dream normally ran.

He flipped his hand and let their palms meet, her fingers threading through his, the delicate bones of her hand so tiny against his, her skin soft.

Damn, maybe he’d finally fallen completely off the sanity train. But if he could stay here with her for just a little while longer, he’d die happy.

He stared up into those blue eyes, thinking how warm they looked. “I miss you, Tess. I miss your heat.”

Her smile was so sad. “I missed you, Cal. But I’m here now and everything will be okay.”

“Are you here to take me over?”

She frowned again, making such an adorable expression that he had to smile at her. “Take you over where?”

“Well, I figure since I’m dying, and you’re already gone, you must be here to help me cross the barrier into death.”

She shook her head, her expression rueful. “You’re not dying. And even if you were, I wouldn’t let you.”

Her hand tightened on his, and she came closer until her knees bumped against his. She lifted her left knee and squeezed it between his right thigh and the side of the chair, then squeezed her right one on the other side. Looping her arms around his shoulders, she sat on his lap and brought her face so close they were practically nose to nose.

“Does this feel like you’re dying?”

She closed the remaining distance between them and laid her lips on his, sucking on his mouth with gentle persuasion until he gave up the fight and kissed her.

Hell, might as well enjoy the illusion while he could. He’d be dead soon.

Except… his body didn’t feel like it was dying.

He had a hard-on so stiff it hurt, a pain he gratefully accepted because he hadn’t felt anything but a huge aching hole in his chest since she’d been gone.

He groaned and opened his mouth to her tongue flicking against his lips. He’d never deny her anything and she wanted into his mouth. Her tongue slicked against his, her taste exploding in his mouth with the force of a bomb.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and held on, never wanting to let go. Fuck sanity. Overrated, if you asked him.

Especially when he felt the heat between her legs as she settled her mound over his cock, even through the layers of his worn jeans and the thin cotton underwear she had on under the floaty little skirt.

His hands spread against her back, left bare by the dress, then worked at the knot holding the dress around her neck. Fucking hell, her skin. So fucking soft, like silk beneath his hands. He stroked her like a cat, her body moving beneath his hands, so damn responsive.

And so damn warm. He soaked himself in that warmth, let it surround him.

He’d been so fucking cold these past two weeks. So… dead.

He kissed her harder, his mouth pressed against hers as desperation started to creep in. His hands slid from under her dress and down to her smooth, rounded hips. He curved his hands around her smoothly muscled thighs, kneading her flesh before allowing his fingertips to graze the edges of her soft panties.

They were wet. With a shudder, he tunneled his fingers beneath them to feel the moisture coating her sex and breathed in her soft moan as his fingers dipped into her body.

Arching against him, she lifted up onto her knees so he could delve deeper and stroke her where he knew she liked it.

She felt like sleek, wet silk, tight and hot.

Her lips slid off his and across his cheek to his ear, where she nipped the lobe before whispering, “Oh, Cal, I missed you so much.”

He wanted to respond but couldn’t; he was too intent on soaking in her response to his every move. Her sex contracted around the two fingers he slid into her. So tight. His thumb hit the jut of her clit, and she moaned and clenched tighter.

His eyes shot open wide and he stared at her beautiful face, her expression a mask of pure pleasure. His breath caught in his throat as his body shuddered.

“Tessa. Oh, fuck, Tessa, it really is you. What… How…”

Her eyes opened slowly, and her smile made his heart pound so hard it hurt.

“Shh. It’s me, love. I’m right here with you.” She undulated, shifting her body up and down on his fingers as he remained frozen. “You feel so good, Cal. Don’t stop. Questions later. I need you now.”

No, he wouldn’t stop. Not ever.

Need built like a raging inferno, until he swore he was shaking. “I need to be inside you, Tess. Right now.”

“Then have me.”

With a groan, he pulled his fingers free to fumble with the waistband of his boxers. Tessa helped him shove them down over his hips and down his legs, his cock springing free so she could wrap her hand around him.

His groan rumbled in his chest as she pumped him with her warm hand. Ah, Christ, he could so easily go over just by her touch. He wanted her so much. Needed her so damn badly.

“Tess, come on,” he breathed against her lips. “Inside. I gotta get inside you. Please, baby.”

He didn’t have to ask twice. With a few graceful movements, she positioned herself over the tip of his erection then sank down, covering him in wet, hot ecstasy. His head kicked back against the cushion as his hips arched, seeking to go deeper. Eyes closed, he reveled in sensation.

He felt the smooth skin of her ass hit his thighs then leave again as she pulled up, working herself on his shaft. Long, slow drags up and down, the grip of her sex decadently tight.

Hands on her hips, he held her but let her control the motion. She knew just how to move to drive him insane with desire. To heat him from the inside out and make his blood boil lava hot.

He had to see her. Forcing his heavy eyes to open, he let his gaze take in her expression of longing, lip caught in her teeth, and the soft exhalations of breath with each movement.

His gaze slid down to her slim neck, where her pulse beat wildly. Leaning forward, he let his mouth settle over that pulse, feeling her life’s blood pulsing under her skin. So strong.

She gasped as he bit her, unable to help himself. She smelled too damn good; he just had to taste her.

Skin. He needed more skin.

Pulling back, he gripped the waist of the dress and drew the whole thing over her head. When he tossed it away, he had unfettered access to her breasts, full, plump, and beautiful.

He bent his head and fastened his lips to her breast. Such beautiful, tight nipples that he nipped and bit and suckled as her hands dug into his shoulders. He focused on loving her breasts while she rode him, trying not to fall over the edge too soon.

Which became increasingly difficult when she picked up her pace, slamming down on him in jerky, fevered motions.

Too much, way too much sensation, too much feeling. Too good.

When she gasped and froze, he sucked her nipple hard and used his free hand to flick at her clit. Her head fell back, her shout of completion the most wonderful sound he’d ever heard.

So fucking wonderful. He groaned as he jerked and released in her warmth. And the whole damn house shook as a blast of pure power rolled from them in a wave.

As his cock continued to pulse inside her, he tightened his arms around her warm, limp body as he tried to catch his breath.

She sighed against him, her warm breath brushing against his neck as she shifted. His arms went rigid around her, crushing her against him, terrified she would disappear.

“Oh, Cal. It’s okay.” Her arms slid around his neck, her skin soft on his, like silk. “I’m not going anywhere. Not ever.”

His heart started to race and his lungs couldn’t get enough air. Christ, he shouldn’t be having a panic attack now.

But what if he was still dreaming? What if he’d finally lost it, even though he could feel her sheath snug around his cock and her breasts pressed against his chest?

“How? Tessa… Oh fuck, can’t breathe…”

“Shh,” she whispered against his ear. “I’m right here. Cal, sweetheart, take a deep breath. You’re going to pass out.”

Yeah, that was a distinct possibility and wouldn’t that be a totally wimp-ass thing to do.

Tessa eased back from him but kept her hands on his shoulders. Her gaze shot from his chest to his eyes and held there.

Tessa. Thank the Gods, it was her. He framed her face in his hands and pulled her close to lay his lips on hers. “What happened?”

“The Involuti healed me and sent me back.”

“Just like that?”

He felt a smile curve her lips against his. “No, of course not. There’s always a price, but I would gladly pay it again.”

He pulled back so he could see her face. “What was it?”

She stared straight into his eyes, her fingers kneading the tight muscles of his shoulders. “To take me out of Charun’s grasp, they had to remove that part of me that he wanted.”

He drew in a shocked breath. “They removed your powers. Tessa, Christ—”

She shook her head, laying her fingers over his lips. “Not all of them, no. I retain my midwifery duties. That power was never as strong, and Charun didn’t covet the ability to bring healthy children into the world. He only wanted my ability to control the sun’s path.”

And she’d given that up, her control of the sun. For him.

“I love you. I didn’t want to live without your heat. I’ve been so damn cold.”

Her smile widened. “But I thought Cimmerians didn’t feel heat or cold or pain.”

“You make me feel, Tessa. Only you, and I don’t want to live without it again.”

“You won’t have to. I’m not leaving you again.”

Then his eyes narrowed. “What about Charun? Are they going to do anything to stop him from going after the other goddesses?”

“I honestly don’t know. My time in Invol was like a dream and I don’t remember much of it. I don’t even remember seeing the Involuti. It was like… they didn’t have true form. Like they were ghosts, spirits. There but not really. It’s just so hard to explain.”

“Then it doesn’t matter. It only matters that you came back to me. And if Charun decides to take another shot at you, we’ll be ready.”

Her smile brightened her expression. “I don’t think he will. You were able to defeat one of his demons. You’re strong and he knows that. I don’t think he’ll risk another demon. Especially now that I’m of no use to him.”

He brought her lips down to his again, worshipping his goddess. “Tessa, I promise to love you so much more than you’ve ever been loved you won’t miss the sun.”

Her smile would always be warmer than the sun to him. “I love you, Cal,” she said. “I won’t miss the sun as long as I have you.”