Four

 

 

 

There was a pep rally and bonfire that night so I had to be at the school even though I so did not want to be. I met Sarah at the table but she was too hyped and I wasn’t in the mood for her banter. I stood on the other side with a couple of t-shirts in hand and tried to smile normally.

I saw Patrick and his friends coming in the door. I wondered why they even bothered to come to these things. It wasn’t like they were all about school spirit or anything. I watched him as he laughed and pushed and joked with his friends. He saw me watching and his smile disappeared into a frown. He looked away immediately and hurried inside. I felt like the worst kind of person. But at least he came; he showed everyone he wasn’t going to hide and cower just because they embarrassed him. I felt someone behind me and turned to tell Sarah to please just leave me by myself for a minute. But it was Eli.

“Eli,” I breathed.

“Clara,” he said gruffly. “I see Patrick’s here. Can’t keep a nice guy down, huh?”

“I guess not. I’m glad he came,” I told him but couldn’t lift my face to look at him.

“Why? Dee and Mike not finished with him yet,” he said snidely.

“No, it’s not that,” I said softly and couldn’t find anything else to say.

I just stared up at him and wondered if there was any way to fix all the mess. He grabbed my arm gently and pulled me to the wall. He leaned me against it with a hand pushing my stomach and though his words were harsh, his face was pleading.

“You are so much better than them; than this. You’re not the kind person who hurts people. I know you’re not. You choose your own actions. No one can make you do something, Clara.”

“I know that,” I said and pushed his hand away. “I didn’t mean for that to happen to him. I didn’t do it on purpose.”

“But you don’t ever stand up to them. They make their whole life about ruining others. The Clara I thought I was getting to know, who’s sweet and sad and thoughtful all at the same time, wouldn’t be ok with other people being hurt like that.”

He was right and I was so done with it all, everything; the guilt, the sadness, the need for things to be perfect and normal. I pushed him aside so I could leave and I went straight home. Sarah yelled at me to come back, that we weren’t done yet, but I didn’t care and didn’t stop. And she didn’t call me to check on me that night either.

Mrs. Ruth caught me on the stairs, wiping her hands on a dishtowel of something she was cooking for dinner.

“Clara, I thought you had a match tonight?”

“I did but I left. I’m gonna go to bed, I’m not feeling too well.”

“Are you ok?” she touched my forehead with the backs of her fingers. “You don’t feel warm but you looked a little flushed.”

“I’m fine. I’m not really hungry, just gonna go to bed. Don’t worry. I’m just tired,” I included so she wouldn’t feel the need to check up on me.

She called up to me with a sweet “Feel better”.

After a shower in which I cried in self pity and stayed way too long in the hot water, I sat on my bed and debated shutting my eyes. I mean it wasn’t real. Apparently I was having some kind of breakdown. The death of my parents had pushed me over the edge somehow but it was only now that I was feeling the effects; a delayed response due to denial or shock maybe. I didn’t know, but I did know that I wasn’t ready to see Eli when I closed my eyes. To see his disappointment in me and hear him tell me I was stupid for worrying about Tate and everything else.

But I knew I couldn’t fight it all night. So I lay back and closed my eyes and was met with nothing but darkness. Eventually I drifted to sleep and Eli never made an appearance. I guessed I was going crazy after all.

 

~ ~ ~

 

I decided to lie.

I was in no mood to face everyone at school, with their smug grins that had no place on their faces. I didn’t want to face Tate and his guilt and dodge the begging ceremony I knew he was trying to stage. And I didn’t want to face Eli.

So, I lied.

I told Mrs. Ruth that I was sick and threw together a concoction that resembled what I was going for into the toilet. She took barely a peak and turned green, yelling that I was excused from school as she practically ran down the hall. I felt bad for lying but strangely also wanted to giggle at how easy it had been. I hardly ever missed school.

All that day I stayed in bed and watched vamp show reruns. I sulked and tried to not think about Tate or Eli. I was basically a coward but I knew I couldn’t be one all day. There was a match at school that night and I had to attend, especially after running out on last night.

In the afternoon, I got up and took another shower. Mrs. Ruth had tapped on my door several times to check on me but I just assured her I was fine until she went away. Now I could hide no longer. My life awaited me and I had to face it.

So I grabbed a biscuit off the stove on my way out and waved to the babies, telling Mrs. Ruth I just needed rest because I felt fine. She didn’t look convinced but, didn’t stop me. Pastor Paul caught me at the door and hugged me, kissing my forehead. It reminded me so much of my father that I had to stop the gasp that always wanted to seep out. I squeezed my eyes tight to stop the wetness and looked up to him with a smile.

He must have seen it written all over my face. His expression softened even more, which didn’t seem possible. There was understanding there, not sympathy.

“Your parents would be so proud of you, Clara. I just wanted to tell you that.”

“Thanks,” I croaked and turned away. I highly doubted that they’d be proud of me today. “I have to get to the school. See you later.”

“Bye, honey. Midnight.”

“I remember,” I called over my shoulder and waved without turning.

Then I felt my pocket buzz with a text message right as I reached the parking lot to the gym.

Meet me outside the away locker room after the match. I want to talk. Please. Just for a minute. – Tate

I knew I should have just disregarded it but I had to talk to him eventually. I decided I’d go and tell him I needed some time to think. He needed to get himself together as well. It would be better by ourselves instead of talking at school in front of everybody.

I went to the booth and got right to work selling tickets and merchandise. Another girl, Tamara, was helping today but I didn’t say anything to her or anyone else.

Once it was time for the match I made my way inside. For some reason I found myself searching the stands for Patrick. I saw him at the bottom bleacher with his friends but there was someone else who had stopped to talk to him...Eli. They were chatting and laughing and I was too ashamed to face Eli or Patrick right then, so I went to turn, but Eli saw me at the last second. His violet gaze pierced me to my spot and I stared back at him. Finally he released me and I almost stumbled away. I went to the side where I never sat for the games. I just couldn’t deal with anyone right then.

A few of the people sitting there gave me a funny look but ultimately left me alone. Everyone knew who I was and where I sat. I hadn’t realized how shallow and predictable I had become.

The match went on without a hitch. I watched as Sarah looked around for me but finally decided to just ogle the opposing team. Tate looked for me too but didn’t see me. He looked disappointed.

We won though and at the end of the match, I got up to leave. I saw Eli making his way to me. Once again I wasn’t ready to hear more of his disappointment in me or lectures so I turned and hurried out the door. I made my way to the guest shower housing. I walked slowly, giving them time to be packed up. I heard talking and figured Tate was there with some of the guys or something but when I turned the corner, I saw that he wasn’t talking at all.

He had Deidre pushed up against the side of the building and was kissing her. His hand drifted up her skirt to places I didn’t want to think about. She opened her eyes and when she saw me. She pulled back and smiled.

“Baby, what if someone catches us?” she asked him sweetly.

“We won’t get caught,” he murmured against her lips and hoisted her skirt higher. “That’s why we always do this here, because no one else ever comes over here. Now, be quiet and-”

I gasped and covered my mouth in disgust. He heard. He dropped her and turned to me shocked.

“What the hell are you doing way over here, Clara?” he asked and tried to straighten his clothes.

“You texted me,” I said incredulously. “Why would you text me so I would find you like this?”

“I didn’t text you. Clara...” he started but I backed away.

“Oh, Tate, here you go. You left this in my car…earlier,” Dee said happily and twiddled his phone in her fingers before giving it to him.

“You?” he asked and it all fell into place. “You texted her so she’d find us? Why?”

“Because I’m tired of being your little secret. If she won’t give it up for you, fine, date me instead and solve that problem but you can’t have it both ways.” She looked at me and smiled her best winning smile. “I got him after all didn’t I?”
Tate turned to look at me. He was angry and upset and sorry all at the same time. And none of it mattered.

“Clara, please...I never meant to hurt you, I just...I needed some...release with all the stress in my life and you weren’t there for me in that way so I just... This hasn’t been going on that long, just the past couple weeks,” he stammered and ran his hands through his hair, like he knew it was hopeless. “It meant nothing,” he told me in a groan and Dee huffed.

“You can’t justify what you did,” I argued. “If we ever had a chance of getting back together, that’s gone now.”

“Clara, no. Please! Babe, I’m begging you,” he called but I took off running towards the parking lot. “Stop! Wait!”

Angry tears dripped down my face. All this time they’d both been going behind my back. Dee was getting back at me and Tate was using her and she didn’t even care as long as I suffered for it.

I wiped my face as the last of the people climbed into their cars. I saw Patrick getting into his old yellow VW bug with his friends and he saw me. He stopped the door in mid swing as he opened it and peered at me, clearly seeing me crying. I sniffled and turned to make my way to the street. One quick look back showed he’d made the decision to just go and not worry about me.

As I reached the sidewalk and stopped for traffic, I felt someone behind me. I could tell it was Eli. I wasn’t sure how I always knew but I did, without a doubt.

“You were right about Tate,” I said without turning and tried to ease the strain from my words. “He had no intentions of not hurting me anymore. Tate and Dee have been making a fool out of me. I got what I deserved, I hope you’re happy.”

I started to cross the four lane but he pulled me to a stop with a hand on my arm.

“Now why would I be happy about that?”

I refused to look at him. I stared down at the black Chuck Taylors he was wearing.

“Because I’m a horrible person. I’m a brat, a tease, a sheep. I’m a bad person who lets bad things happen. You said so yourself.” I tried to cross the street again but he stopped me once more with a grasp to my fingers. I huffed and turned to look at him, my voice raising to a yell. “What! What do you want? I can’t handle anymore lectures tonight, ok, I can’t handle anymore disappointment. Just leave me alone,” I finished softly and tried one last time to leave his grasp but this time when he pulled me back, he pulled me to him.

I felt the warmth of his chest and it felt so much like I belonged there; like it was home. He lifted my chin with his finger, his forearm around my back, and looked at me intensely.

“You are not a bad person and you don’t deserve this.”

“Yes, I do!” I sniffed and felt more tears glide down to my jaw.

He wiped one away with his thumb.

“You’re better than them, Clara. You don’t have to follow them just because that’s what you’ve always done. Sometimes, you have to make up your own mind about what’s right.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I don’t even...belong here anymore.”

“Because Tate cheated on you? He doesn’t define you, Clara.”

“It’s not just Tate. It’s everything. I’m only involved in Spirit Squad because my mom wanted me to be. My dad was ecstatic I was dating Tate; the wrestling star and the Mayor’s son. I felt obligated to my parents to continue to be who I was when they were alive. But I’m not happy,” I cried harder.

“You have to make your own happy. You can’t depend on other people for that.”

“Are you happy?” I asked looking up at him.

He looked at me closely, watching me watch him. Then he bent his head and kissed me, softly and gently at first. I was completely confused and enthralled by how much I’d wanted him to do that and I wound my arms around his middle as our lips met for the first time in agonizing weeks. Then I opened my mouth to his out of sheer requirement.

He had a tongue ring that I had no prior knowledge of and my blood heated to think about it as it clanked gently once against my teeth. His fingers on my chin moved to my cheek and then to my hair. It sent thrills through me and I shivered and pressed myself closer. He groaned, a strained sound, and pulled away.

We stood close, our foreheads touching and our hot breaths mingling and swirling making me feel intoxicated in the foggy dark parking lot. He pulled back to look at me and smiled a little bit. Then kissed me once more softly on the lips.

“I’ve wanted to do that ever since I saw you in the park that day.” He pulled my hand up to kiss my palm then looked both ways and pulled me across the street. “Go straight inside,” he told me as he pushed me towards my porch.

Then he walked away and took off down the street towards his house. I was in stunned awe. I walked in a daze up the stairs and wondered what had caused him to end our kiss so abruptly. I also wondered why I wasn’t more upset about Dee and Tate. I was, but I would think I’d be in hysterics; I should’ve been. But I wasn’t in agony. I was hurt but I was more angry at the betrayal. I had no idea what tomorrow was going to bring but, I knew there was no way I could just sit with them at lunch and pretend that what they did was all ok anymore. And even if Eli hadn’t just kissed me, Tate and I would still be so over.

Things were about to change.

Pastor and Mrs. Ruth were watching television and the children were already in bed so I crept up the stairs quietly so as not to disturb them and went straight to my dresser. I had some soul cleaning out to do.

The prom picture from last year - trashed it. The picture of the whole gang at a beach party this summer, all wearing our bathing suits and jumping into the air - gone. The photo booth pics Tate insisted we get together at the mall where he kissed me in a different spot in every one - done with them. The ribbons I saved from Cheer camp from Sarah and my pompoms – through with them. The movie stubs and Grad Nite ticket I saved from the past years – down it floated into the pile that was my life. Everything I thought was important was no longer.

I threw on my sleep clothes, a long Navy t-shirt of my sisters that she gave me when she left. Essentially, it was a guilt gift. I paused and brought Eli’s shirt that I’d just taken off to my nose. It still smelled just like him and I held back the need to groan about it. I slipped under the covers, his shirt in between my fingers, and was already dreading school tomorrow. But right then, I was ready to close my eyes. Ready to see if Eli would still be there in the dark of my eyelids, waiting for me.

 

~ ~ ~

 

I was in the school parking lot. I had on my long t-shirt and nothing else and I looked around, but I was alone. I leaned against a car that had been left in the lot and for a second wondered if I had sleep walked over here and this was real, not what happened when I closed my eyes. Then I felt him. I turned my head to see him making his way to me. I wondered if things would be different between us now. He’d never kissed me in the dream-walk things before.

He answered me almost immediately.

He pulled me to him and pressed his lips to mine hungrily. I pulled him too so he’d lean with me against the car and he came willingly as he continued to kiss all the good sense out of me. Once again he pulled away too soon, it seemed, once I got worked up.

“I’m glad you came,” I said breathlessly.

“I couldn’t not come,” he answered. Then he lifted me to sit on the hood of the car as he came to stand between my knees. “You’re laying with my shirt,” he said knowingly and smirked.

“How do you know that?” I asked seriously.

“I know lots of things,” he said cryptically.

“Please, Eli. I am so confused. Is this real? Are you really here or am I just wishful thinking every night? How is this even possible?”

“I don’t want to mess things up, Clara,” he whispered and ran a hand absently down my arm.

“You won’t. I just want to know.”

He looked around, blowing an exasperated breath.

“Walk with me?”

“Are you going to answer my question?”

“Will it matter as to whether you walk with me or not?”

I huffed but smiled at him.

“You’re impossible.” I let him help me down and he took my hand. I felt completely comfortable, even though I was only in a long t-shirt. “Where are we going?”

“I thought I’d show you the park at night. It’s pretty amazing.”

“You hang out at the park at night?”

“Sometimes. I’m supposed to be...there’s things I’m supposed to be doing but I...I can’t anymore. So after I visit you, I go there,” he confessed.

“Eli, please,” I pulled him to stop in the middle of the streetlamp lit road. “You have to tell me what’s going on. Are you in some kinda trouble or something?”

“Sweet, Clara,” he said softly and touched my cheek, rubbing caresses with his thumb. “Are you going to save me if I am?”

“I’ll do anything I can,” I said and looked him right in the eye.

“There’s nothing you can do I’m afraid. But I love it that you’d try anyway,” he said and kissed me again, lingering.

Then he towed me to the swings, setting me in one and pushing me in a slow easy rhythm. We stayed there for a long time just like that, just being with each other. Sometimes we talked about school or things we liked but, mostly we just enjoyed each other’s space and time. I realized he was not going to answer my questions but I didn’t want to push. We lay in the grass and looked at the bugs buzzing and humming around the streetlamps for hours it seemed. At the end of our time, he walked me home.

“If this is a dream or something, why does it matter where we end up? I’m still in my bed, aren’t I?”

“Yes, but I wouldn’t want you to think I wasn’t a gentleman. Besides, I’ve been dying to kiss you every time I drop you off on your doorstep.” I blushed and he smiled wider as he leaned in, pulling me up to meet his lips. It was easy and controlled. Then he leaned back and touched my bottom lip with his thumb. “By the way, what we’re doing is called a Reverie. It’s not a dream, because you’re still awake. That’s why I need to leave, so you can get some sleep. Goodnight. I’ll see you tomorrow, CB.”

I could only nod and touch my lips in wonder. Had it all been real? I felt a little insane but giddy too. It was official; I was crazy obsessed. I giggled as I made my way back to my room and saw myself laying there in the bed. That scene and the shock jolted me aware and I sat up in bed quickly, back in myself.

I lay back down and smiled as I wondered if it had been real at all. It was crazy to think so, but I wanted it to be so badly.

 

~ ~ ~

 

By the time I reached school the next morning, my heart was in a tizzy. I was scared; scared of what I was going to do with Tate and Dee and all the rest of them. I was a little early this morning so I sat in the courtyard under the oak with a bench around it, along with everyone else in their little groups but, I was alone.

A couple of smiley freshman came up and asked me about joining the spirit squad. I was debating quitting, though I didn’t tell them that, so I directed them to Sarah. They gave me funny looks when I pointed them her way. I knew it was because I wasn’t sitting with my friends. I just smiled extra brightly and waited for them to move on.

I was about to pull out my math book when I heard a commotion and looked to see Dee, Mike and Megan chanting ‘chili boy’ across the yard. Patrick was about ten feet from them and had just sat down with his friends. He shook his head and looked away from them angrily but they didn’t stop. Chili boy? That wasn’t even a good insult!

My mind made itself up right then and before I even realized what I was doing, I’d packed up my stuff and was making my way to Patrick.

Dee and Mike looked deviously gleeful as they slapped hands. Dee watched giddily me as she actually thought that even after her betrayal – something that was so hurtful and evil that I was confused as to how she was really even a human girl - I was coming to sit with them, but when I veered off her smile turned to disbelief.

I heard Mike mutter, “What is she doing?”

“Clara!” she called and waved for me to come. “I forgive you. Come sit with us,” she said snidely with a little evil smile.

“Yeah!” Mike yelled too even though he had no idea what was going on. “It’s all good, baby.”

I glared at them as I made my way to Patrick. When she realized what I was doing she turned bright red. No one crossed my group. They were like the Mob of high school.

“Patrick,” I said softly and saw him stiffen before he turned. He looked at me with a little frown and waited for me to say something else. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know...I didn’t mean to put you in the middle of all that. I’m really sorry and they were wrong to act like that.”

“You were sitting right there with them, as I recall,” he said smoothly but I could tell he was fighting for control.

“Yes, I was,” I said and heard my voice choke back tears, “and I’m ashamed about that. I just wanted to say I was sorry,” I repeated and walked away towards the school.

He watched me and when he saw me pass Dee and the rest of them, he yelled my name. I turned to see him standing, his friends looking between the two of us. He waved me back and I started slowly his way again. I could see Mike and Dee and the others watching us. I could practically feel the anger pouring off them as they glared daggers. And Dee. She thought she had me, that I’d have to just suck it up and endure her and everything she’d done to me. That I’d just take it, but she was wrong and now she was mad.

“Clara, get your butt over here or have you not gotten his notes yet,” she yelled and laughed.

Mike snickered as he bumped fist with Tommy when he walked up to join them. Megan and Sarah were just as happy as the rest of them as they giggled into their fists.

I joined Patrick, my books in my hands, my bag over my shoulder. I looked up to him tentatively.

“What’d you do?” he asked, his arms folded over his chest.

“What?”

“What did you do to the ice patrol to get shunned?”

“I didn’t do anything. I just found out who my real friends were.”

“And who are they?” he asked and cocked his head.

“I don’t have any,” I said in a cheerful voice with a big fake smile.

They all burst out laughing.

“You’re alright, kid,” Patrick said and put his arm around my shoulder. “Come on, sit with us.”

I sat down and really got a look of Patrick’s friends. There were five of them that hung out regularly, four guys and one girl but the girl had an almost shaved head and a nose ring connected to her earring so I was intimidated and kept my mouth shut with her. Patrick introduced me to everyone and I felt bad because they all knew who I was, but I didn’t know any of their names except Patrick.

Then I felt it; the awareness that Eli was there. I looked up to see him staring at me. He smiled wide and knowingly. When he started to make his way to us, Dee bolted from my old group and wrapped her arms around his neck. He pulled her off gently and set her aside as he continued to walk to us.

She huffed and started to follow him but saw where he was going and slowed. He walked right up to me, pulled me up from my bench and kissed me right there in front of everyone. I heard Patrick and his friends whistling and clapping before Eli released me, my cheeks blazing a hot crimson. I saw Dee walk red faced and angry to grab her purse and then Megan and Sarah following her as she stalked away.

He leaned down to whisper in my ear, “I’m so proud of you, CB.” I just smiled up at him. Then he spoke again. “I told you I’d see you tomorrow, didn’t I?”

I gasped and grabbed his shirt front. In the Reverie, he’d said that. It was real?

“Tell me, please,” I pleaded.

“We’ll talk later,” he said with a smile. “At my place.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

“Hey, Eli. What’s up, man?” Patrick said and they bumped fist and did some strange hand shake, arm bumping thing. It looked intricate. “Dude, we’ve gotta show you the town this week, man. There’s a club here that’s pretty sick, if you go on the right night.”

“Yeah, sounds good.”

“Cool.” The bell rang ending any further comments. “See you guys later.”

Eli walked me to home room, brushing my shoulder with his and we got many looks but I no longer cared. Everyone was used to seeing me with Tate and I’m sure it was strange for them to see me with Eli all of a sudden, but I could care less. Eli was smiling sexily as we walked and when we reached my homeroom door he leaned in, forcing me to retreat to the wall.

“I’m so glad I can do this now,” he confessed softly and rubbed my arm discreetly.

“Me too.” I groaned, tugging on his shirt front, my actions refuting my next words, “I gotta go.”

“I’ll see you at lunch, ok?” he said through a broad grin that displayed his enjoyment of my actions.

“Ok,” I said and bit my lip.

I looked both ways and pulled him to me, feeling his smile against my skin as I kissed his cheek. But a loud bang startled us apart. We both looked over to see Tate standing at my locker, his fist firmly planted into an imprint in the metal where he had punched. He was looking at us - glaring was a more appropriate description.

He pushed off and turned with everyone watching him like he was a ticking time bomb. He punched another locker on his way and then disappeared out of sight.

“Crap,” I muttered.

“Hey. Don’t worry about him,” Eli said softly and tucked my hair behind my ear. “I’ll take care of him if he wants trouble.”

“He’s still using.”

“I know.”

I sighed.

“Ok. See you at lunch. Be careful, ok?”

He smirked.

“You’re cute when you worry.”

“Ha, ha,” I said and smiled before heading into class.

 

~ ~ ~

 

“I can’t believe you,” Sarah scoffed and banged her locker shut as she started down the hall. “I mean, you already had this amazing hot guy and now you take the other available hot guy. What’s with you? I don’t remember you being this selfish,” Sarah said hotly.

“Sarah, Tate hit me. He cheated on me. He’s using steroids. What was I supposed to do? Pretend it didn’t happen just to keep the clique happy? Eli has been there for me through all this.”

“How convenient,” she said and tried to go around me but I stopped her.

“Sarah, don’t be like this. You weren’t mad at Dee for hanging all over him, so why are you mad at me?”

“It’s different.”

“Why?” I asked in bewilderment.

“Because she’s Dee and you’re you. I don’t know it’s just different. I didn’t expect him to go for her anyway.”

“I can’t help it if he likes me. I didn’t chase him, it just worked out this way,” I explained.

“It just worked out this way,” she repeated blandly and stopped to look at me. “And what was that stunt with Patrick this morning. WTH, Clara?”

“What they were doing was wrong and you know it. Dee and Mike and everybody else shouldn’t be able to just do whatever they want to people just because they are who they are.”

“Whatever. You never complained before.”

“I know. And I’m making up for lost time now.”

“You’re not going to sit with us at lunch, are you?”

I hesitated, already knowing the answer but dreading her reaction.

“No. I can’t. I don’t want to be around Tate.”

“Well, I guess that’s it then isn’t it?” she spouted and started walking again.

“Is it really that important to you? To be sitting at that table?”

“Yes! It’s all I have, Clara! I’m not pretty like you. I don’t have guys throwing themselves at me. All I have are them and that table.”

I stopped following her and let her go.

“You can sit with me anytime you want,” I called after her.

I met Eli at the door to our next class. I’d told him I wanted to talk to Sarah before class. He had wanted to go with me because of Tate but I assured him his class was way away from ours.

“How’d it go?” he asked and ushered me into class with a hand on my back.

“As expected.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s ok. If paying for your past sins were easy, everyone would do it right?”

He smirked down at me.

“Very philosophical. And true.”

“Seats, people,” the teacher grunted as she entered and I made my way to mine.

Class went by slowly, waiting for lunch. I dreaded it but, also welcomed it. I needed to get this over with and the sooner the better. I wondered if Patrick would have a problem with my sitting with them or not. I was sure Eli and I could sit alone somewhere else.

I laughed under my breath. I was an outcast! It was hilarious and liberating. After spending my whole life being seen as some spoiled and undeserving privileged cool kid, I was a loser! And it felt awesome. I turned to Eli to see him smiling at me, like he knew what I was thinking. I smiled back and bit my lip when he winked at me. I heard a loud ‘ahem’ from the front of the room and looked to see the teacher with a brow raised, eyeing us both.

I mouthed a sorry and she shook her head in amusement before going on with class. Then the bell rang.

Eli and I walked together after we went to his locker. I realized that was why he always got there after us. We shuffled our way to the cafeteria and stopped in the doorway, my heart galloping. Eli took my cold hand in his and brought it up to his mouth to kiss my fingers. He leaned towards me and whispered in my ear.

“It’s ok, Clara Belle. I’m right here with you.”