SUSANNA WAITED FOR DEVLIN’S anger. She waited for him to demand an explanation. She waited for him to walk away. He did none of those things. He came across to her and took her frozen hands in his and urged her gently toward the chaise.

“You should sit down.” He spoke very softly. His grip on her hands was warm and reassuring. It seemed to cut through the cold grief that was seeping through her and comforted her a little. Dev gave her hands a squeeze and then left her briefly; she heard him asking Margery, very politely, for a pot of tea. Then he was back at her side. And all the time Susanna sat dumb, her mind shrinking from the truth, fearful of the pain she had now raked up and the fact that Devlin would surely hate her for failing him and failing their child, too. She closed her eyes and took a convulsive breath and felt with huge relief Devlin place his hand on hers again, entwining his fingers with hers.

“Can you tell me what happened?” he asked.

Susanna nodded. There was no point in keeping the past a secret from him any longer. Everything she had worked for was in tatters. Her plans to build a new life for herself and Rose and Rory were ruined and she would have to start all over again. Better to do so having told Devlin the whole truth, with nothing held back.

“I…” Her voice was hoarse with tears. For a moment she did not know where to start.

“Here.” The tea had arrived and Devlin pressed the cup into her cold hands, holding it steady with his own. “Tea is best for shock,” he said.

“That’s what I told Chessie earlier,” Susanna said.

Dev smiled. “I might even have a cup myself,” he said. “Ghastly stuff, but its restorative qualities are well-known.”

Susanna took a gulp of the scalding liquid and felt her world steady a little. She looked up. Dev was watching her steadily with those very blue eyes. She could see the lines of strain and grief in his face but there was no anger there and no blame.

“From the beginning?” he said.

Susanna nodded. The beginning… She placed the cup carefully on the rosewood table, afraid she might spill it because she was shaking so much.

“The beginning was the morning after we wed,” she said. “I decided that it would be best to confess the whole truth to your cousin and ask for his help, so I left your bed and went to Balvenie to speak with him.” She felt Devlin start but he did not say anything. “Unfortunately Lord Grant was from home,” she said, “but Lady Grant was there. She had taken some small interest in my affairs and so I thought she would be a friend to me.” She paused and bit her lip. It was so foolish now to regret her youthful stupidity but still the memories goaded her. She had been so trusting and so easily led. “I told Lady Grant everything,” she said. “I thought that she would help us.”

Dev shifted slightly. There was an expression in his eyes now that suggested to Susanna that he had probably known Amelia Grant better than she. “It may not surprise you,” she said dryly, “to know that far from offering her support, Lady Grant told me that I had done a terrible thing in running away with you.” She fidgeted with the fringe of one of the cushions, shredding it through her fingers. “She spoke more in sorrow than in anger but she made me feel so ashamed,” she said. “She told me that Lord Grant had that very day procured a commission in the Navy for you and that you would be going to sea, and that your sister depended upon your Navy pay and that Lord Grant would be terribly disappointed in you if you turned it down.” She looked up to see Dev still watching her, now with pity and a vivid regret that cut her to the heart. “She said you could not support a wife and that if I loved you I should go…pretend it had all been a mistake, set you free to forge a career and be the man your family wanted you to be.” She swallowed hard. “I felt so foolish and so guilty,” she said softly. “So I did exactly what she said. I ran away.”

Dev shook his head abruptly. “I was going to take you with me,” he said. His voice was a little rough. “I know I should have told you but we spoke so little of our plans.”

“We were young,” Susanna said. She smiled faintly. “I do not think that talking—or even planning—was foremost in our minds,” she said ruefully. She drew a painful breath. “I did not wonder at the time why Lady Grant had interfered but later, when I was older and understood more of the ways of these things I wondered whether she had wanted you herself.” She stopped, looking at Dev.

Dev pulled a face. “Amelia never tried to seduce me,” he said, “but I did sometimes wonder if she was jealous of me.” He ran a hand over his hair. “Alex was generous to me and I think that Amelia resented that. She resented the time and the money he spent on me. It was Amelia who petitioned Alex to buy me my Navy commission. It was Amelia who found an elderly aunt to care for Chessie.” His smile was cynical. “At the time I thought it was because she wished to help us. Later I realized that what she wanted was Alex’s undivided attention. She wished us to be gone from her life. And so she arranged it—” his eyes met hers “—just as she ruthlessly dispatched you, too.”

Susanna picked up her cup again. The warmth was fading from the china now but she pressed her hands close about to draw the last of its heat. “I know I should not have listened to her,” she said, “but I was young and already scared of the consequences of what we had done.” She swallowed what felt like an enormous lump in her throat. “I’m so very sorry, Devlin.”

Dev took the cup from her hand and put it down very deliberately so that he could once more clasp her fingers in his.

“This was Amelia’s doing, not yours,” he said fiercely. “You should not have blamed yourself.”

Susanna shook her head. “Do you remember when I told you about John Denham? How I said that if he had truly been steadfast in his affection for his fiancée then no power on earth would have been strong enough to separate them?” She sighed. “If I had been strong enough and had enough faith then nothing and no one could have come between us, Devlin. But I was not.” She paused but Dev did not speak and she rather thought it was because he knew she was right. She had been too easily persuaded to give him up.

“I ran back to my uncle’s house,” she said, “and I wrote to you that it had all been a terrible mistake and that I regretted it. I begged you not to come after me. I said that I would obtain an annulment, and then I tried to pretend that it had never happened. Except—”

She stopped. “Except that you were pregnant,” Dev said. His voice was harsh. Susanna shivered and felt the cold lap again at her heart.

“Yes,” she whispered. “It was naive of me not to have thought of it.”

“You were seventeen,” Dev said in the same hard tone, “and innocent. How could you fail to be naive?” His hands tightened on hers and she almost gasped as the grip hurt her. “I should have thought…” Dev said. “I was as naive as you. And I was not there to protect you…”

With a pang of shock Susanna realized that far from blaming her, he was blaming himself. The discovery brought the hot emotion burning into her chest and stinging her eyes again.

“I do not think,” she said, “that you have anything with which to reproach yourself, Devlin. I was the one who sent you away.”

“Let’s not argue the toss over that,” Dev said, and for the first time there was the hint of a smile in his eyes that lit the tiniest flame of warmth inside Susanna. “What happened when your aunt and uncle discovered the truth?” Dev asked, and the warmth faded again and Susanna felt sick and cold.

“I did not realize it myself for four months,” she said. She had been frighteningly naive as well as willfully blind, unwilling to admit it because she was afraid. “Then… Well, you may imagine. My aunt and uncle were appalled. They had no notion I was wed. They had been promoting a match for me with the local curate. My pregnancy left their plans in pieces.”

“How inconvenient for them.” Dev’s voice was dry. “Did they have no thought for you, and how you might be feeling?”

“Not really,” Susanna admitted. Her uncle and aunt had been dour people, wedded to duty, bound to keep up appearances. Her behavior had shocked and appalled them.

Dev’s gaze sharpened on her. “Did they throw you from the house?” He sounded incredulous. “I thought they were good people. Narrow-minded, perhaps, but not cruel.”

Susanna shook her head. “They were conventional. Do not forget that they had taken me in when my mother could no longer afford to provide for me. They had given me a better life so they thought my elopement wilful and ungrateful when they had done so much for me. I never knew that they had told you I was dead, though. That feels very cruel.” She felt the weak, easy tears sting her eyes again. “They had planned for me to go away until after the baby was born. Then I was to give her up, give her away, never see her again.” She could not help the way that her voice cracked as her throat thickened with tears.

“She,” Dev said. “She was a girl?” He stirred, released her hands and stood up, moving a little away. Susanna felt lost without the physical comfort of his touch. She knew this was the moment she had dreaded. Devlin would not be able to find any more compassion for her, not when her foolish actions had caused her to lose his child. His grief would be as fierce as hers—and it was all her fault.

“She was called Maura,” Susanna said. She could feel the cold seeping through her skin now, setting her shivering. The darkness hovered at the corner of her mind, blotting out the light.

“That’s a pretty name.” Dev did not smile.

“She died,” Susanna said in a rush. Her words tumbled out now, heedless, ragged and confused. “I would not give her up. No matter what they said, no matter what they did… I could not. That was when they threw me onto the street. I did not know what to do. I was pregnant and I was alone.”

Dev did not speak. He was very pale, his mouth a tight line, as though he were hurting inside.

“I tried to find you,” Susanna said. “I went to Leith, to the fort, but they said you had gone south to join a ship at Portsmouth—” She stopped and drew breath. What would Dev care that she had gone looking for him, hopelessly, belatedly and only because she had nowhere else to go? Except that it had not been like that. She had wanted him desperately then, needed him. Carrying Dev’s child she had felt the love and the awe flower inside her, stronger than fear, stronger than any other emotion. She had found the faith that she had lacked before when she had run away from Devlin the morning after their marriage. But she had awoken to her feelings too late.

“I went to Portsmouth,” she said, “but I was too late. Far too late.”

“They assigned me a ship as soon as I arrived there,” Dev said. “We sailed within the week.”

Susanna nodded. “So I was told.”

“Did you tell them that you were my wife?” Dev asked.

Susanna gave him a look. “Devlin, I was six months pregnant, dirty and destitute.” Her mouth twisted. “I formed the distinct impression that they had heard that story before, many times.”

Dev smiled reluctantly. “I suppose so.” His smile faded. “So when they turned you away, what did you do?”

“I went back to Edinburgh,” Susanna said. “I knew I had to find work in order to eat but I was too weak. I fell ill in one of the tenements there.” She shuddered, rubbing her arms to stave off the cold inside. “It was damp and cold and disease was rife. I contracted a fever. I lost the baby,” she finished tonelessly. “She was born at seven months but she was dead. I think I knew, even though I hoped with every ounce of strength I had left that she would survive. But of course she could not. She was too small and too weak and I could not save her…” She stopped. Dev would not wish to hear any of this and she could not speak of it anymore. She felt icy-cold, shaking with grief. It filled her whole being, locking her heart into the dark.

Then she looked at Dev. His face was tight with pain, his eyes blank. Susanna felt sick to see such intense misery; the misery of a man hearing of the death of a child he had only just learned had existed.

“I am sorry,” she said helplessly, hearing the inadequacy of her words, hating herself for them. “So very sorry.”

His gaze game back and focused on her so sharply that she almost gasped aloud. “For what?” He sounded angry. “It was not your fault that you fell ill and Maura died. You had been turned out of your home. You had tried to find me. You did the best you could—” He stopped as though he could not bear to go on. Susanna wanted to touch him, to offer comfort, but the contained stillness of his grief forbade it.

“I am sorry for all that happened,” she said. “I am more sorry than you will ever know that Maura died and that there was nothing I could do.”

She saw Dev put out a hand toward her, an instinctive gesture both giving and drawing comfort, and her heart leaped. But before she could move he let his hand fall to his side. His expression became shuttered and Susanna knew he had withdrawn even further from her. She had been correct; he could never forgive her for the loss of their child and she could never reproach him for that.

“It all makes sense now,” he said. “Your work in the gown shop, your poverty…” He shook his head as though waking from a dream. “Why did you not tell me the truth, Susanna? Why pretend that you had left me to find a richer husband?”

“I had a commission for the Duke and Duchess of Alton,” Susanna said. “I could not tell you the truth and run the risk that you would ruin it all. I needed the money. It wasn’t just for me. I—” She stopped.

Dev raised his brows. “You have triplets?” he queried ironically.

“Twins,” Susanna corrected.

Dev looked comically taken aback. Under other circumstances she might have laughed. “You have children?” he said. “I thought—” Now it was his turn to stop abruptly.

Susanna knew what he was thinking. Against all the evidence he had believed her when she had told him that she had never sold her body. He had assumed she had kept her marriage vows. She felt a tiny shred of warmth at this evidence of his faith in her.

“They are not mine,” she said. “I inherited them. They are at school but I pay their fees.” She cleared her throat painfully. “I promised their mother that I would look after them—and I do.”

Now Dev looked utterly shocked, as though she had pulled the rug very thoroughly from under his feet.

“Who was their mother?” he said. He ran a hand through his hair, disordering it, making him look even more bewildered.

“Her name was Flora,” Susanna said. “She was my friend. She died in the poorhouse.”

Dev’s blue eyes searched her face. “You took on the responsibility for another woman’s children,” he repeated softly.

“I lost Maura,” Susanna said. She tried to find the words to explain. For so many years she had kept all these secrets locked inside, harboring the pain deep within her, never exposing it to the light. “I couldn’t keep Maura safe,” she said. “But I swore not to fail Rory and Rose. I had given my promise always to care for them—”

“And you did,” Dev said. There was an odd tone in his voice. “The money…” he said. His voice sharpened as though he were coming awake. “That was why you wanted the money. That was why you were desperate to go through with the charade with Fitz, why you tried to buy my silence—” He grabbed her by the shoulders. She thought he was about to shake her. “Bloody hell, Susanna!” He sounded furious. “Is there anything else you haven’t told me?” His fingers dug into her skin. His eyes blazed. “Do you take a perverse pleasure in trying to make me think the worst of you that I possibly can?”

“No,” Susanna said. “I did not intend…” She got no further because Devlin was kissing her, furiously, blissfully, with exasperation and a blistering hunger. For a moment Susanna’s heart unfurled and she allowed the need to take her, too, the heat sweeping through her veins like a storm of fire.

“I have debts,” she said as his mouth left hers. “That is something I had not told you. And someone else knows who I am and they were trying to blackmail me but I asked Mr. Churchward to deal with that for me and it does not matter, now that the truth is out—”

Dev made an inarticulate sound in his throat and dragged her back into his arms again, kissing her fiercely. “I thought you an adventuress,” he murmured as his lips left hers, “and now I find you more in need of protection than any infant.”

“I can look after myself,” Susanna said. “And once our marriage is annulled none of this will be your burden anyway.”

Dev’s eyes were a dark smoky-blue. “I’ve changed my mind on that,” he said. “There will be no annulment.”

Susanna’s stomach dropped. “But we agreed!” she said. “You cannot change your mind!”

“I just have done,” Dev said. He smiled at her. “And legally I do not believe there is a great deal you can do about it, sweetheart. You are my wife and you will stay that way.”

Susanna stared at him whilst fury and confusion warred within her. This was so sudden and so unexpected, the opposite of what he had said the night before and the complete reverse of everything she wanted.

“But you can’t change your mind,” she said again, her voice faltering. “Why would you do so?”

“Because I want you,” Dev said. He rubbed his thumb over her lower lip, a sweet erotic caress that she felt all the way down to her toes. “You are my wife and I want you in my bed. And this way,” he added, “I can make sure that I provide for you—and the twins—properly…that I do my duty. You are all my responsibility now. You need protection and I will provide it.”

The cold settled into Susanna’s heart. Duty. Responsibility. Protection. She could see that Dev wanted to make sure that this time he took care of matters properly in atonement for what had happened in the past, and that was admirable, and more than she would ever have asked of him given that none of it had been his fault. But the longer she spent with Dev the more dangerous it was. She had already tumbled headlong into love with him again in the full knowledge that he would never love her in return. She would fill his bed and satisfy his lust, and then he would leave her and go back to sea. He would walk away and she might never see him again, and she loved him so much that that would destroy her. Susanna felt again the sick tumbling sensation in her stomach she had felt as a five-year-old child when her mother had told her that she was to be given away, sent to her aunt and uncle to live because there were too many mouths to feed. She had lost her family then, the first of many losses. She shuddered to see Maura’s tiny lifeless body in her mind’s eye. Sooner or later she would lose someone she loved again. It was the way of things. She had already lost Devlin once. She could not allow him a place in her life again because he was promised to the Navy again now, he would leave—and he might never come back. That would destroy her so she had to go now, first, before it was too late.

The chill and the fear of loss seemed to freeze her to the very heart.

“I won’t go with you,” she said stubbornly. “I do not want to be married to you. We were married, it did not work and I prefer to learn from my mistakes.”

Dev looked at her, a smile glinting in his blue eyes now. It did strange things to her equilibrium. “You are still my wife,” he said mildly, “and you will obey me in this if I have to carry you into the carriage.”

“I’ll see you damned first!” Susanna burst out, thoroughly incensed now by his high-handed manner. “How dare you try to assert your marital rights, Devlin?”

Dev gave her a look that brought the hot blood burning into her face. “You had no objection to me asserting some of them previously.”

“That was different!” Susanna said furiously.

Dev shrugged his broad shoulders. “Brute force is not my style,” he murmured. “I prefer charm and persuasion, but if they fail—” he scooped her up into his arms with insulting ease “—then I see I have no choice. Margery will send on your bags,” he added, against her ear, “but you are coming with me.”

DEV HELD SUSANNA AS THE coach took them the short journey to Bedford Street. Once she had accepted that she was to accompany him she had gone very stiff and dignified, her body rigid in his arms. His grip was negligent now; truth was that he enjoyed holding her—he enjoyed it very much—and he wanted to kiss her and feel the tautness in her melt as she yielded to him. But more than that he wanted to offer her comfort. He wanted to be able to banish the misery he sensed in her. It was a new and somewhat bewildering concept for him. He had always been perfectly clear on what he wanted to take from and give to a woman and solace and reassurance had been in no way a part of it. Now, though, knowing how much it must have cost Susanna to tell him about the terrible loss of their daughter, understanding at last all she had suffered, he wanted to hold her close and never let her go.

Maura. The bitterness of the loss closed Dev’s throat. He could see how the entire tragedy had unfolded from the moment he had heedlessly pressed Susanna to elope with him. Amelia, resentful of him and wanting revenge, Susanna young, fearful of what they had done, wanting only the best for him and his future, thinking she was doing right. Her aunt and uncle casting her out and the fight she had had to survive. Anger shook him and resentment for what had been snatched away from them but he knew that both reactions, whilst natural, were pointless. They would build better this time, he vowed, and nothing would come between them.

He looked at Susanna’s pale set face. He was only starting to understand this complicated, self-contained woman he had been married to for the past nine years. He knew now how hard she had struggled against almost overwhelming odds, how she had survived a tragedy that had almost broken her, how she had found the love and generosity to take responsibility for two orphaned children because she was all they had. He felt so proud of her. She was brave and strong and he admired her very much. For a brief moment he pressed his lips to her hair and felt her stir in his arms. She met his eyes; an invisible thread that seemed to bind them caught tight and Dev felt his stomach drop and an entirely unfamiliar emotion tug at his senses.

“We are here.” He saw they had drawn up outside Alex Grant’s town house. He cleared his throat, feeling confused, uncertain, as though he stood on the edge of an abyss.

Susanna cast him an unfathomable glance from her green eyes. “Then I would like to walk inside unaided, thank you, Devlin. There is no need to carry me. I shall not run away and I would prefer to greet Lord and Lady Grant standing on my own two feet.”

Dev smothered a smile. “Of course,” he agreed gravely.

He handed her down from the coach and led her into the house, wondering quite how to broach to Alex and Joanna the fact that he and Susanna—together—needed a temporary roof over their heads. Fortunately Joanna made matters very easy for them, for as soon as she had bustled out into the hall to greet them she grabbed Susanna by both hands.

“Lady Carew!” she exclaimed. “Chessie has told me what you did to help her.” She glanced at Dev then back at Susanna, her blue eyes suspiciously bright. “Poor girl,” she said. “I wish she had confided in me but I am so glad that she felt she could turn to you…” A tiny frown marred her forehead. Dev knew she was wondering why on earth Chessie had turned to Susanna but she was too polite to ask.

Susanna, too, had regained her poise. “I hope,” she said, “that the Marquis of Alton has been to pay his addresses?”

“He came an hour ago,” Joanna said, looking even more mystified. “I must confess that he was very gracious. Chessie is so happy. They are to wed next week.” She stopped again. “A pity he is such a scoundrel,” she finished, much more sharply. “Really all I wanted was for Alex to horsewhip him from the house, but I suppose that would not do.”

“It would not get the marriage off on the right foot,” Dev agreed, “tempting as it is.”

“I expect you wished to do worse to him than that,” Joanna said, patting his arm.

“I did,” Dev said. “I wanted to call him out but Susanna stopped me.” He smiled at Susanna and saw her blush a little.

Joanna’s eyebrows had shot up. “Indeed?” she said faintly. “Lady Carew—”

“Actually,” Dev said, “it is Lady Devlin. Susanna is my wife. I apologize for bursting in on you like this,” he added, “but we had nowhere else to go. Is Alex free? I must speak to him.”

“Devlin,” Susanna said, and Dev felt a very odd possessive thrill to hear her speak in tones of such wifely reproach. “Lady Grant, I do apologize. Men are always so blunt and so very intent on marching straight to their objective with no explanation.”

“Well,” Joanna said cheerfully, slipping her hand through Susanna’s arm, “I am sure we can manage without him.” She turned to Dev. “Alex is in the library, Devlin, but I fear he has Lady Brooke with him. She came looking for you, in fact. I understand that she has lost Lady Emma, whom I thought—” asperity colored her tone briefly “—was your fiancée.” She turned back to Susanna. “Forgive me, Lady…um…Devlin, but is your marriage of recent standing?”

“Nine years,” Dev said. He saw that Susanna was blushing even harder now. He realized that she was nervous and felt a rush of protectiveness. Who would have thought that his brazen adventuress had an ounce of nervousness in her? The thought made him smile. He found he was staring at her like a callow youth transfixed by a beautiful woman and tried to pull himself together.

“Did you say that Lord and Lady Brooke had lost Emma?” he asked.

“Lost to Gretna Green,” Joanna said, trying not to smile, “and to that dangerous man Tom Bradshaw.” She shook her head. “Lady Brooke is not amused.”

“Emma’s eloped?” Dev said incredulously.

“Three days ago,” Joanna confirmed. “But Lord and Lady Brooke have only just noticed.” She shook her head. “They thought she had the headache.”

“Good God,” Dev said. The door of the library burst open at that moment and Lady Brooke appeared, followed closely by an extremely harassed-looking Alex Grant.

“Devlin!” The Countess of Brooke addressed him directly for the first time that Dev could remember, thereby proving that she had known his name all along. “I sent to you at Albany.” Her face crumpled. “The most shocking thing…Emma has eloped with a man who works for a living!”

“Might I suggest that we return to the library to talk?” Alex intervened. “It will be a deal more comfortable than out here in the hall.”

Joanna turned to Susanna. “Lady… Ah—” She saw the pitfall before she fell into it. “Susanna,” she said, “would you care for tea whilst the gentlemen sort this matter out?”

Dev caught Susanna’s hand. “Joanna will look after you,” he said in a low voice. “I will see you shortly.”

Susanna nodded. For a moment her fingers clung to his and he wanted to hold her and reassure her. “Everything will be all right,” he said, and she gave him a tiny smile and a nod.

Lady Brooke was frowning at the exchange. “Emma said that you knew that woman,” she said disagreeably. She turned to Alex. “Don’t trust her, Lord Grant. She is an adventuress.”

“The library,” Alex said hastily, catching Dev’s thunderous expression. “My commiserations on your broken engagement, Devlin,” he added, his face impassive. “Joanna has told you the news?” He glanced at the Countess. “Apparently Lady Emma and Mr. Bradshaw left for Gretna several days ago but Lord and Lady Brooke have only just noticed her absence.”

“I thought Emma was ill!” the Countess snapped. “Naturally I did not disturb her. Her maid was attending to her needs, or so I thought.”

“It sounds as though Bradshaw was attending to her needs,” Alex murmured, low enough that only Dev could hear him.

Lady Brooke rubbed her forehead, setting her turban askew. “Where could she have met such a person as this Bradshaw?” she demanded. “And why would she want to marry him? He is illegitimate and he has no money and he is even more ineligible than you are.” She looked accusingly at Dev. “I cannot imagine where she has developed this taste for low company.” She snapped open her reticule. “Anyway, there is little more to be said. I cannot pretend to be sorry to lose you as a future son-in-law, Devlin, although the alternative is infinitely worse.” She took a letter from the bag and held it out to Dev. “My butler informed me that you left this for Emma several days ago. I fear she never read it so I am returning it to you. Good day, Devlin.” She nodded to Alex. “Lord Grant.”

Dev took the letter and weighed it on his palm, smiling a little. “I wish Emma all the luck in the world,” he said as the door closed behind Lady Brooke. “She is going to need it.”

“Bradshaw’s a dangerous scoundrel,” Alex said. “Farne has been looking for him ever since he tried to kill Merryn and now he runs off with an heiress…” He shook his head. “I doubt we have all heard the last of him.” His gaze fell on the letter. “You have the luck of the devil, sometimes—”

“I know,” Dev said, “especially since I find I already have a wife. Brandy?” he suggested, seeing his cousin’s winded expression. “I know it is early but sometimes nothing else will suffice.”