Jill Sherwin

Jill Sherwin is the author of Quotable Star Trek, The Definitive Star Trek Trivia Book, Volumes I and II, and Sailing the Slipstream: An Unofficial and Unauthorized Guide to Gene Roddenberry’s Andromeda, and is a contributor to the anthology The Lives of Dax. She has worked as a writers’ assistant on various television series, including Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and Gene Roddenberry’s Andromeda, and sold a story that was produced as the Andromeda episode “Be All My Sins Remembered.”

Lieutenant Uhura didn’t know where she was. Intellectually she understood that this was ridiculous. She was in her own quarters. But she didn’t know them. Didn’t recognize the furnishings or the woman who owned them. She tried to shake the feeling of disassociation that possessed her. She moved to face a mirror mounted above a dresser as she reached for unfamiliar earrings. The stranger who gazed back at her was beautiful but looked as lost as she felt. Who are you? Uhura wanted to shout, but she didn’t want any passing crew member in the corridor to hear. She needed to keep up the illusion that she was fine. That she was Uhura. Whoever that was.

But her hands betrayed her as they shook too much for her to get the earring in place. Such a foolish little thing, yet it was the breaking point. Uhura took the offending jewelry and threw it back down on the dresser. And when that didn’t help, she grabbed one of the small decorative statues that no doubt meant something to the woman who’d collected the piece, and flung it against the mirror. The glass shattered into myriad pieces, including one shard that bit into her hand.

She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. She looked down at the wound dispassionately, then the practical side of her reached for a small scarf that lay nearby. She wrapped her wounded hand in the scarf and automatically headed for sickbay. Behind her, the forgotten earring gleamed among the broken mirror shards, as alone as its owner.

Uhura entered sickbay and adopted a cheerful demeanor that she didn’t feel inside, but felt was expected of her. She was greeted by Nurse Christine Chapel, who at first assumed the visit was part of Uhura’s regular routine. Chapel reassured her, “Assuming this checkup goes well, I think the doctor will reduce your visits.” Uhura was pleased to hear at least that much good news. As hard as she’d tried to cope with the results of the recent attack by the mechanical being called Nomad, she’d wearied of the reeducation, the psychological and physiological tests that had become part of her daily endeavors to restore her erased memory. The education phase was essentially complete, thanks partly to the nurse’s patient and supportive efforts, partly to Uhura’s own apparently eidetic memory. But while relearning language and job skills had been easy, other aspects of the memory loss proved more difficult to manage, as her cut hand testified. But for a moment she just wanted to enjoy the semblance of normalcy between herself and the nurse, so she held her bandaged hand out of sight.

Chapel leaned against a biobed to chat with Uhura. She knew Uhura’s anxiety level rose every time she came to sickbay. “Everything going well on the bridge?”

“With the job? Fine. I guess.” Uhura admitted, “I feel like I have to constantly double-and triple-check what I’m doing to make sure I haven’t forgotten anything, but Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock continue to tell me I’m doing as well as I had before.” She laughed. “I’m not sure whether to take that as a compliment on what I’m doing now or a criticism on my previous job performance!” Chapel laughed along with her, pleased to see Uhura had finally regained some of her sense of humor, or at least felt comfortable enough to laugh at herself. But after a moment Uhura stopped laughing and reflected, “To be honest, Christine, the work isn’t the hardest part. When there’s not a crisis, I feel like my hands and head are beginning to remember their jobs. It’s just…”

“Just what?” Chapel prompted. She’d become closer to Uhura in these last two weeks during her rehabilitation and felt a proprietary protectiveness toward her.

Uhura struggled to put the feeling into words. “When I walk down a corridor, I see people that I know… or should know. Or at least, they know me. But I don’t know how I know them. Should I greet them with a smile? A wave? A hug? Is this someone I should stop and talk to? Ask about their day? Their boyfriend? Or just nod in passing?” She sighed. “It’s like I’m one step behind in all my relationships with everyone aboard. I feel like I’m insulting people I should know well or being too friendly to people I don’t know at all.”

“I think everyone on the ship knows you. That’s part of being the communications officer-you really do know everyone, because you talk to them every day.” But Chapel could see this wasn’t all that was bothering Uhura.

After a moment, Uhura acknowledged, “It’s not just that I don’t know other people… it’s that I don’t know myself either. I look in the mirror and I see my face and I don’t know who it belongs to. I look around my quarters and it’s as if they were decorated by someone else. Where did I get that tapestry? Did someone give me that sculpture?” Now that she’d begun to unburden herself, the concerns poured out of her. “I’ve been listening to my personal logs. It’s like they were made by another person whose life I’ve had to step into. Do I really sing all the time?” she asked earnestly.

Chapel laughed and nodded. “I think it’s unconscious for the most part, but even on the job you always had a habit of singing and humming.” Uhura’s lovely dark face blushed. “But it’s charming. It’s part of who you are.” Chapel leaned forward and confided, “You’re pretty mean with a limerick, too.” Uhura didn’t know whether she was being teased or not. That was the problem. She just couldn’t trust the levels of communication she had with people, because it seemed to her she’d only known them a few days. She wondered if she’d ever feel at home again on this ship with this crew.

Dr. McCoy escorted Montgomery Scott out from the next room, where they’d just finished the chief engineer’s latest physical. Scott protested all the way. “I told you, Doctor, I feel fit as a fiddle.”

Cantankerous as always, McCoy answered, “I don’t care if you feel strong as a mule. You’re still going to come back next week for another series of tests. That high-tech teakettle may have put you back together after breaking you, but it’s my job to make sure you stay together. Same time next week.”

Scotty shook his head in acquiescence. “Aye, Doctor.” McCoy bobbed his head in self-righteous approval as the engineer nodded to Uhura and Chapel and left sickbay.

McCoy turned to Chapel, who handed him Scott’s medical file to annotate. “Still stubborn as a Vulcan.” The doctor looked at Uhura. “I don’t suppose Scotty’s talked to you about what happened with Nomad, since you both…?” Uhura shook her head. She would have liked to talk to Scotty about the shared event, but he had rebuffed her advances to try to discuss his experience of having been killed and then “repaired” by the machine. Not wanting to overstep her bounds, she hadn’t pressed the issue. McCoy predicted, “That man is suffering from post-traumatic stress, and if he doesn’t find a way to release his frustration about what happened, it’ll come out in ways that won’t be so healthy.” The doctor turned to face Uhura. “And how are you feeling, Lieutenant?”

Uhura gave Chapel a wry grin and followed the doctor into the next room for her own examination. But she held her bandaged hand inside the other, as if still reluctant to share the pain.

Hours later, with her hand fixed up and no longer stinging thanks to McCoy’s ministrations, Uhura sat at her station on the bridge, peripherally aware of the activity going on around her-from Captain Kirk sipping coffee in his chair and reading a yeoman’s report on a padd, to Spock looking into the viewer at sciences, to Chekov and Sulu exchanging good-natured jibes down at navigation and helm control. Assorted crew members came and went about their business in a professional manner, yet maintained a camaraderie in their attitudes that Uhura still felt distant from. Were they all as confident as they looked? Did they know how separate she was from them? As a mental exercise, she ran lists of security codes, communications frequencies, department numbers, and crew names through her head. When she wasn’t otherwise occupied, she repeatedly checked channels from one end of the spectrum to the other to reinforce the skill into her head and hands. But when a new transmission suddenly reached her on an unexpected frequency, she sat up straight, immediately focused on the situation and her job.

“Captain,” she called out. Kirk swiveled in his chair to give her his full attention. “I’m receiving a distress call from planet Donico II. They say there is an imminent planetary disaster and are requesting immediate assistance. The signal is faint, but it’s definitely directed off-planet.”

“Do they say what the problem is?” Kirk asked.

“No, sir. The message was cut off in mid-transmission. No further information.” Uhura waited for Kirk’s decision. It was immediate.

“Mr. Chekov, plot a course to Donico II. Warp five,” Kirk ordered. “Lieutenant Uhura, send a message to Starfleet Command informing them that we will be late to our assigned stop at Starbase 19, due to the distress call from Donico II.” Uhura’s fingers danced across her communications console in acknowledgment. Contacting Starfleet was a regular duty-one she could do by heart by her second day back on the job.

The captain turned to his first officer. “Mr. Spock, what do we know about the Donico system? Are there any natural phenomena that would explain their distress call? It’s too far from Klingon or Romulan space for either of them to be a threat.” Spock was already at work at his computer, pulling up the relevant data.

“Donico II is the sole Class-M world in a system of seven planets. The region is currently clear of any known solar or ion storm activity,” Spock informed Kirk.

“What of the people there?” Kirk asked.

“The society on Donico II is considered warp-capable, though they apparently have little interest in interstellar travel. Little is known of their culture. Though they’ve had brief contact with other civilizations, they are a private, xenophobic people. They have stated that outside interference is unwelcome.”

Kirk digested the information. “Yet someone there sent a distress call.” He turned to his helmsman. “Mr. Sulu, how long before we reach Donico II at this rate?”

“We’ll be there in less than an hour, sir,” Sulu replied.

Kirk turned to Uhura. “Uhura, monitor the channel the distress call came in on for further communications. And in the meantime, see if you can pick up any other information on the planet and what the situation is there-war, disease, outside attack. What kind of help do they need?”

“Aye, sir.” Uhura turned back to her panel and opened the necessary frequencies to attempt to tune in any information coming from Donico II, from interpersonal communications to broadcast news. As she found anything of interest, she made notes to inform the captain when they grew closer. Donico II, she learned as she listened to the comm traffic of the planet, did not appear to be a world facing any kind of imminent problem. On the contrary, it seemed like a happy, healthy, flourishing society. Rather wonderful, actually. Uhura found no reports of any of the captain’s concerns-no war, no disease, no outside interference or threats. In fact, the whole place seemed almost utopian. Even when Uhura attempted rolling through local intranet communications, she found no complaints, no concerns, no stressful issues at all. She chose one region of the planet at random and discovered the local leadership being celebrated; the public transmissions extolled a Minister Nyshev and how well he’d run the community for the past twenty-five years. Particular mention was made of how he’d improved the formerly challenging traffic conditions in the area and simultaneously beautified the city by planting large local willowlike trees, with only minimal disruption to the local residents. The results had even increased the efficiency of power consumption to that part of the Grid, as the planetwide power distribution was called.

All of this Uhura later reported to her captain, who continued to wonder just what the distress call had been sent for.

McCoy, who when times were quiet in sickbay often liked to wander up to the bridge to see what was going on, entered and suggested that perhaps it was someone’s idea of a practical joke. Kirk considered the idea. “Well, better that than ‘imminent disaster.’ But if little Timmy is playing a prank, then someone needs to let his parents know. We don’t want any other starships pulled off course unnecessarily.”

Uhura tentatively suggested, “I don’t think it was a joke, sir. The concern in the message sounded real.”

“Thank you, Lieutenant. I’ll bear that in mind,” Kirk acknowledged.

A small, critical voice that had been in Uhura’s head since the Nomad incident briefly wondered if he was just paying lip service to her. The more rational side of Uhura argued that the captain had not just heard, but listened to her. But that little voice still questioned.

“Lieutenant Uhura, hail the planet,” Kirk said as the Enterprise assumed orbit of Donico II. “Let’s see if we can get some answers from someone in charge,” Kirk said. Uhura found the appropriate frequency based on her last hour’s study of the planet and hailed the planet’s governing authority. The beautiful smiling face of a dark-haired humanoid woman appeared on the ship’s viewscreen.

“This is Kyo-Ina of the Donico Decorum and Diplomacy Corps. How may I be of assistance?” the woman asked, smile firmly frozen in place.

Kirk answered the woman’s charm in kind. “I’m Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise, representing the United Federation of Planets. We received a distress call from your planet and came to find out how we could help.”

The smile never left Kyo-Ina’s face as she explained that no distress call had been issued, nor was there any need for one as everything on Donico was fine, just fine. “I thank you for your concern, Captain, and apologize that you were brought out of your way, but your help is not required. Have a lovely day.” Abruptly, Kyo-Ina signed off.

Kirk looked around at his officers. “Well, it seems there is no emergency, gentlemen… and yet…”

Scott stood at the engineering station on the bridge and completed the thought. “It might not be a bad idea to get a second opinion.”

“My thoughts exactly,” Kirk concurred.

As the captain had been speaking with Kyo-Ina, Uhura had idly rechecked the information she’d noted on their approach to the planet. With a shock, she found no mention of Nyshev, the leader who’d formerly been so lauded. Instead, she found reference to a man named Zimmer, who’d supposedly headed the city council for the past five years in an easy run with no problems to fix. Uhura scanned the planetary databases and found no reference to anyone named Nyshev. Perplexed, the communications officer read about another province of the planet, an agrarian sector whose news reports proudly announced that for the fifty-eighth year in a row there had been no drought and crop yield had exceeded expectations. Uhura made a note of the information. She returned to a scan of the original area and now found additional information had been added to praise Zimmer’s planting of trees in the city-but unlike the reports about Nyshev, there was no record of fixing traffic conditions or disruption to residents as a result. Though the critical voice inside her suggested that perhaps she faced memory troubles again, Uhura felt it worth mentioning to the captain as part of that “second opinion” he sought.

“Captain?” she said when he took a break from speaking with Scotty. “I might have something here… but… I’m not really sure.” Kirk gave her an indulgent smile and encouraged her to continue. “It’s just that the first time I looked through the communications on the planet… well, sir, that information just isn’t there anymore.”

“What do you mean it isn’t there?” he asked.

Uhura explained the discrepancies between the original news of Nyshev and now his seeming replacement by Zimmer.

“Could you have just been reading about a different city?”

“No, sir,” Uhura insisted, “it was definitely this area.”

“A malfunction of the universal translator, then.”

“I just ran a check of the translator, sir. It’s working just fine.”

Spock sat down at the computer and requested it find all reference to someone named Nyshev in the Donican planetary computer and communications systems. “Working,” the computer responded in feminine but robotic tones. “No match for requested name.” Spock asked it to check on someone named Zimmer. “Working… no match for requested name.”

“But that’s impossible!” Uhura exclaimed. “I just read about Zimmer not ten minutes ago.”

Kirk exchanged a look with Spock and then turned to Uhura. “Perhaps, Lieutenant, you’re just tired and… mistook the names.”

Uhura began to protest, then rightly or wrongly, she felt all eyes on her and heard the critical voice in her head mock her. So she acquiesced and nodded. “That… must be it. Sorry, Captain.”

“If you’d like to leave your shift early, Lieutenant, perhaps go down to sickbay to see Dr. McCoy…” Kirk suggested.

Uhura quickly assured him that was unnecessary. A brunette female yeoman who Uhura mentally identified as Yeoman Cappa, someone who according to her logs she’d considered a friend, quickly offered to go get Uhura some coffee, for which Uhura smiled gratefully and said she was sure that would help. As Kirk turned his attention back to Scotty, Uhura returned to her panel. Was it possible? Had she mis-remembered the names or provinces? It was hard to imagine, with her own notes jotted down on the padd beside her. Determined to prove it wasn’t incompetence on her part, Uhura decided to probe further. Her suspicions were soon confirmed when she revisited the news service of the agrarian sector and found no mention of the previously stated fifty-eight years since a drought. Now the sector boasted “a healthy rain system to promote growth, now and always.” Unsure what to make of these changing “facts,” Uhura continued her study of the planet’s news and information. Periodically it seemed there was an echo to her sweeps, as if someone was monitoring her scans. But she couldn’t immediately trace this echo as it appeared to route through various redundant portions of the comm system on the planet. Undaunted but aware, Uhura continued her research.

Meanwhile, Mr. Scott had concluded some research of his own. He called the captain over to show him what he’d discovered. “There’s your imminent planetary disaster,” he said, pointing to a viewer at his station.

Kirk asked, “The energy Grid powering the planet?”

“Aye,” a grim-faced Scotty said. “And if they continue to overload it at this rate, it will blow out completely, with the power exploding back into every home and business it feeds. Anyone even remotely close to a powered device could be killed or, at the least, very badly hurt.”

“Scotty, that’s every home and business on this planet,” Kirk pointed out.

“Which is why they have to switch off their grid immediately and effect repairs. They need to reroute their circuits, install redundancies and breakers, and add more infrastructure to handle the power output. And they need to do it now. If they keep this up much longer, the whole system will blow and take most of the population with it.” Scotty’s worried look was mirrored by Kirk’s own.

“Lieutenant Uhura, get me Kyo-Ina again. Now,” Kirk ordered.

The smiling face returned to the viewscreen. “This is Kyo-Ina of the Donico Decorous Diplomacy Corps. How may I be of assistance?” If Kirk noted the slight name change, he didn’t show it, but Uhura caught the difference and added it to her growing notes.

“Kyo-Ina, our sensors show that there is indeed a problem on your planet-one that threatens your entire population,” Kirk began.

Kyo-Ina didn’t blink. “Donico has no problems. But thank you for your concern. Have a lovely day.” She again cut communications. Kirk quickly indicated to Uhura to get the woman back onscreen. She did so.

“Kyo-Ina,” Kirk was getting annoyed as well as concerned, “whether you believe me or not, there is a threat to your planet. Your energy grid will overload if it is not shut down immediately.”

This time a shadow nearly broke through Kyo-Ina’s smiling facade. But it was not from fear of a Grid shutdown. Uhura caught the brief disturbed look on Kyo-Ina’s face, but Kirk was more concerned with getting his message across. “Kyo-Ina, you must shut down the Grid, do you understand? If you can’t do it, let us help you.”

The smile definitely faltered as Kyo-Ina firmly informed Kirk, “No, Captain, it is this communication which must be shut down. We have nothing further to say to you. Please leave our planet.” Her customary signoff, “Have a lovely day,” had no warmth to it this time. And communication was again shut down.

“Captain,” Scotty warned, “that Grid is going to blow. It’s a matter of when, not if. And when is likely to be within the next few hours.”

Spock observed, “Regulations forbid us to interfere with the inner workings of a nonallied planet. They have refused our help.”

Scott pointed out, “Not everyone. Someone sent a distress call.” He appealed to the captain, “Surely that counts as requesting assistance?”

Kirk agreed. “We’re not going to let these people destroy themselves if we can help it. Scotty, how do we shut down the Grid?”

Scott referred back to his findings on the computer. “The network and its control system are located deep underground. We can’t reach it with ship’s phasers nor disable it via computer command-we need to go down and shut it off manually.” Kirk did not look happy at the option.

“And we’re persona non grata on Donico II if Kyo-Ina is any representation,” Kirk noted. “We may face a fight just to help these people not kill themselves.”

“Sir, we canna just let them die! Not if we can do something.” Scott’s concern grew.

Kirk made up his mind. “I agree. But before I bring an army of security men down to fight our way to the Grid controls, let’s try the carrot before the stick.” He pointed to his chief engineer. “Mr. Scott, you’re with me. Time to play diplomat to the Donican diplomacy corps. Mr. Spock, you’re in command.”

The first officer protested. “Captain, may I remind you of Mr. Scott’s own assessment that the Grid system could self-destruct in the next few hours? If you go down there, you are risking your lives just to try to communicate the danger to these people.”

“Objection noted, Mr. Spock. But they’ll all die if we can’t get through to them. It’s a risk we have to take.” Scott nodded in agreement. The captain added to Spock, “While we’re down there, I want you and Lieutenant Uhura to find out what’s going on down there. Why won’t they listen? Why won’t they even accept that there’s a problem? And Uhura?” She looked at her captain expectantly. “Maybe you’ll find your Nyshev and Zimmer while you’re at it. If they deny there’s a problem, maybe that’s tied into denying the existence of members of their own population.”

Uhura smiled gratefully at the captain for his validation of her earlier concerns, while he and Scott headed for the turbolift. With Spock’s tacit approval, she returned to studying the planet’s communications. She continued to find more and more discrepancies in her investigation-there were ongoing subtle and not-so-subtle alterations being made to the planet’s histories, news reports, and even popular entertainment. She began to see a common thread in the changes. And still that communications echo followed her probes….

Kirk and Scott materialized in what appeared to be the lobby of the Donican Diplomatic Corps. It was a bright and airy, high-ceilinged building with tall windows that gave the impression of a great chapel crossed with a high-rise corporate office in a combination of beauty and efficiency. A monorail passed by outside the higher levels of the building. Inside and out, smiling people bustled by and made great efforts not to notice Kirk and Scott. But before the two managed to speak to anyone, Kyo-Ina was suddenly before them. “Gentlemen, you must leave,” she said at once. She looked around herself constantly as if nervous, but she kept smiling at them and everyone around them.

But Kirk wouldn’t be rushed off. “And you and your government council must listen to me and my chief engineer. You wouldn’t do it when I was aboard my ship, so I thought we’d appeal to you in person.” He and Scott kept wary eyes on all the powered systems around them, from lights to computers. “Mr. Scott?”

The engineer immediately attempted to outline the problem with the Grid system to Kyo-Ina, whose protests began to draw attention despite the locals’ best efforts to ignore them.

“Please, you must stop,” Kyo-Ina practically pleaded with Scott. “There’s nothing wrong. Nothing at all. Everything’s fine. The system is fine. There is no problem with it.” Her grin seemed locked onto her face, but her eyes began to betray a panic. A group of large, heavily-muscled black-uniformed men emerged from a far doorway and headed in their direction. The crowds parted before them, as people intently ignored but avoided the men. Kyo-Ina saw them coming. She urged Scott and Kirk to stop, and finally begged them as the large men drew closer and closer. But Scott was insistent on telling her of the problem and Kirk was insistent she listen. And then it was too late. Before Kirk could even pull his phaser, he was grabbed by three of the men. Another three grabbed Scott. Their weapons and communicators were taken from them and handed to Kyo-Ina.

Kirk looked at a blissfully unhappy Kyo-Ina. “What’s going on? Why won’t you listen to us?”

She looked at him and said, “Nothing is going on. There is nothing to listen to.” But Kirk could tell she didn’t believe this. The black-clad men silently looked at Kyo-Ina, who sadly, but still smiling, pointed at Scott. “Enforcers, this one insists that there’s a problem, that there’s danger, that people will die.”

Scott pulled against his captors. “There is a danger! The Grid is going to explode! You canna let it stay on! It must be shut down! I can help you recalibrate it, help you upgrade the infrastructure, but you must power it down now! Do you want people to be killed?”

With this, even Kyo-Ina couldn’t continue to smile. She lowered her head and told Kirk, “I warned you to leave.”

Kirk asked, “Warned us about what?” The men in black began to drag Scott away, while Kirk was held in place. “Where are you taking him?” Scott fought against those holding him, but the men were too strong and he was soon pulled off through the doorway from which they’d come. Kirk shouted after him, but the engineer was gone. And all the people continued to walk by, seemingly oblivious of the scuffle, except for a young man with blond hair who had watched, discreetly, from behind a nearby pillar and then hurried away. Kirk demanded to know from Kyo-Ina what was happening.

In a low tone she said, “Your engineer has committed an act of sedition with his statements.” Kirk didn’t understand. “On Donico, the punishment for sedition,” she continued, “is death. The sentence will be carried out tomorrow morning.” At this, Kirk strained desperately against his captors, but it was no use. Kyo-Ina noted, “I told you-there is no problem here.” She pleaded with her eyes as well as her voice. “Please, you must leave now, while it is still permitted. Do not commit the same act as your engineer or you will face the same result.” She nodded to the men in black, who released Kirk’s arms. As Kyo-Ina raised Kirk’s phaser and aimed it at him, the smile returned to her face, though not her eyes. She handed him his communicator and watched as he flipped it open to contact his ship.

“Kirk to Enterprise, one to beam up,” Kirk said as Kyo-Ina gestured at him with his own weapon. “This isn’t over.”

Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and Uhura sat around the table in the briefing room. McCoy berated his captain. “Jim, you’re not just going to sit there and let them kill Scotty, are you?”

Before Kirk could respond, Spock interrupted. “Doctor, the Prime Directive demands noninterference in the society of such a planet. Despite the captain and the engineer’s best intentions to help, the Donicans have clearly shown an unwillingness to permit it.”

“And for that, we just let Scotty die?” McCoy angrily asked.

Spock pointed out, “Violating a planet’s sovereignty, as we have done, always carries risks. Mr. Scott has broken one of their laws. Do you suggest we break more of them?”

“Gentlemen.” Kirk’s concerned voice entered the fray. “We are not going to let Scotty die and we are not going to interfere with the government and justice system of Donico II.”

Uhura couldn’t resist asking, “Then, Captain, what will we do?”

“Come up with a third option. There has to be another way,” Kirk concluded.

Spock injected, “The lieutenant may have found one possibility.” All eyes turned to Uhura, who shifted in her seat, nervous to be the center of attention. Had she always been this nervous in a briefing? She couldn’t recall her former self mentioning this in a log, so she supposed not. She must have always been so confident. Then. Her captain expected as much of her now-but that little voice nagged at her. Who did she think she was? What did she think she knew? For a moment, Uhura thought her anxiety would overwhelm her, but Kirk smiled his encouragement, which soothed her a bit.

Using her notes as a reference point, Uhura briefly outlined the ongoing, minute changes she’d discovered by studying the planet’s communications.

“So someone is rewriting the history of Donico II,” Kirk concluded.

“Not just their history,” Uhura pointed out, “they’re rewriting the present, too. It seems like anything that could possibly offend or upset someone is routinely and methodically removed from documentation as if it never happened. A traffic problem. A drought. A war. It’s as if by pretending these things never happened, they’re trying to make them go away through sheer denial.”

McCoy harrumphed and shook his head.

“Though it may seem illogical and unsustainable by our present standards,” Spock noted, “the Donican system is not without precedent. There was a time in Earth history when humans were so concerned about a word or definition offending another group of humans that they tried to redefine the word or censor its usage. This led some to call for the removal of various displays of cultural heritage, art, or works of literature if they were determined to be possibly ‘offensive,’ rather than teach people the context of the history in which such beliefs were held. For fear of upsetting some groups of people, they wound up disrespecting others and disavowing their own past.”

“Fortunately, Mr. Spock, we pulled our heads out of the sand and figured out that denying our earlier ignorance only led to more ignorance rather than enlightenment, and that there was room enough for multiple beliefs and behaviors,” McCoy observed.

“Indeed, Doctor. And it only took you a century or so to manage it. Several millennia after the Vulcans discovered IDIC.” Spock cocked a sardonic eyebrow at this latest thrust and parry in his and McCoy’s long-standing argument on the maturity of humanity.

“It seems that the Donicans, however, are still firmly buried up to their necks,” Kirk said.

“But it’s worse than just denial of facts, Captain,” Uhura explained. “The Donicans are a totalitarian society where no ‘unpleasant’ speech is allowed. Everything from history to news to entertainment is controlled and sanitized until it can’t disturb anyone. That’s why they arrested Scotty-something so ‘unpleasant’ as a potential planetary catastrophe can’t be publicly proclaimed.”

“So they’ll all die happy and ignorant. Wonderful solution,” McCoy grumbled.

“Not our solution. Lieutenant,” Kirk asked Uhura, “Spock said you had another possibility? Even if we could gain control of their communications systems and warn the Donican population of the threat, it doesn’t sound like the population is in any condition to hear the truth.”

“You’re right,” Uhura acknowledged. “Most of them couldn’t understand or accept the truth of a bad situation because they’ve been conditioned to see the world from an idealized perspective. However…” Kirk smiled as he sensed a solution forthcoming. “While I was scanning the planet, I noticed what seemed at first to be a sensor echo following my scans. But after a while, instead of shadowing what I did, it seemed to head off in certain directions. When I followed it, I uncovered certain ‘unpleasant’ facts that had yet to be rewritten. Caches of information that seemed hidden away from the main comnet and media highways. It was as if someone was leading me to them.”

Kirk’s smile widened. “We have an unknown ally.”

“Unidentified, but not unknown. I suspect there is a group of people on Donico II that are trying to protect the truth, their history, and they’ve been leading me to them. I believe…” For a moment Uhura hesitated, then, feeling the support in the room, finished her thought. “I believe these are the people who initially sent out the distress call. I think I can trace the echo and contact them. They might be able to help us find a way to help Scotty from within.”

“Hopefully, before it’s too late,” McCoy worried.

“Do it.” Kirk ordered Uhura to contact the rebel group of Donicans. “In the meantime, I’ll see if I can try to convince Kyo-Ina to postpone Scotty’s sentence.”

The unfamiliar face of a blond-haired young woman answered their communication. Kirk asked to speak with Kyo-Ina. The woman responded, “Kyo-Ina is not available at the moment. I will inform her that you contacted us if I speak with her. Have a lovely day.” Contact was broken. Frustrated, Kirk turned to Uhura, who had been working away at her communications panel. She had a concerned look on her face.

“Captain, I’ve managed to contact them, but I think they want…” She hesitated.

“Put it onscreen, Lieutenant,” Kirk ordered. “If there’s a chance to save Scotty, we need to take it now.”

“Aye, sir.” Uhura obeyed the command.

A dark-haired middle-aged man sat in a darkened room. It was hard to make out the details of anything behind him, though the room might have been filled with computer equipment or junk. There was no visual sign of anyone else in the room, but the occasional shift or creak around him belied that idea. The man tried not to glance at someone presumably standing just off to his left side, but instead stared into the viewscreen. He looked at Kirk and asked, “Where is Uhura?”

Kirk glanced back at his communications officer, then introduced himself. “I’m Captain James T. Kirk of the Federation Starship Enterprise. Who am I addressing?”

The man looked disturbed and snuck a look over to the person standing offscreen, then back again. “I will speak only to Uhura. Where is she?”

Kirk indicated for Uhura to step forward. She did, albeit a bit reluctantly. “I’m Lieutenant Uhura, communications officer for the Enterprise. I’m the one who contacted you.”

The man looked suddenly angry. “Communications officer? On Donico that would mean it’s your job to obscure the truth, clean it up so it’s all ‘fine’ and easy to swallow.”

Uhura reassured him. “That’s not my job on the Enterprise.” With the captain’s nod of approval she stepped forward to express herself. “It’s my job to make sure everyone knows what is going on. To make sure everyone has reliable information. So we can make informed decisions.”

Another man stepped forward in front of the viewscreen. He was young, blond, and very distrustful. “You serve the truth? The whole truth? Not just some palatable version? Not ‘Let’s forget this person existed because they made a mistake or that person because they countered the accepted and approved histories’?”

“Yes, I serve truth,” Uhura said. “After all, if people don’t know there was a mistake, how can they avoid it the next time?” This answer seemed to relieve the first man and the second stepped back again.

“You must forgive Tano,” the dark-haired man said. “He recently lost someone he cared about for daring to speak of something ‘unpleasant.’ I am Kurning, leader of the FreeSpeakers. We sent the distress call that you answered. You have obviously discovered the danger we face should the Grid overload- “

“And no one will do anything about it!” Tano exclaimed. “So we have!”

“What do you mean?” Kirk asked.

“Why should we trust you, Enforcer?” Tano challenged, stepping forward again. “Do you not work for an oppressive government yourself?”

“No, I work for the United Federation of Planets, a peaceful organization, which does not suppress the rights of any of its members,” Kirk answered.

“Ah,” said Tano. “‘Peaceful.’ Our Enforcers do not ‘suppress’ either. We are allowed to express any happy, good thoughts we like. Those who do not are not ‘suppressed.’ They simply disappear. Like your engineer.”

Kirk leaned forward intently. “Scotty? Is he all right?”

Kurning nodded. “He will be safe until morning. But if something is not done, he, too, will be killed.”

“As will many millions on your planet if the governmental leaders don’t allow us to help you fix your Grid,” Kirk reminded him.

“Exactly!” said Tano with a dark grin. “So we have come up with an equitable exchange.” He reached for something offscreen and pulled forward a tied and gagged Kyo-Ina. Tano gleefully pulled her gag down so she could speak.

“Captain Kirk! Tell these… people… they must release me. It will do them no good to hold me here.” She looked at the viewscreen, pleading.

“Do you hear her, Enforcer? ‘These people.’” Tano repeated her words with disgust. “Not ‘criminals’ or ‘rebels.’ How about ‘misdirected believers’? No, those words are too negative and unpleasant! But we are all of these on Donico! Anyone who dares speak truly is an ‘un-preferred element.’ Or is it ‘preeducated’?” he demanded of Kyo-Ina. “I so easily forget the latest acceptable terminology,” he mocked.

“That’s enough, Tano,” Kurning warned. He looked into the viewscreen. “Lieutenant Uhura, if you truly believe in what you say-if you believe in truth and freedom of information, you must help us.”

“I don’t understand,” Uhura said. “How can I help you?”

“We have tried to convey the truth to our people and have had our words twisted by our leaders and ‘reimagined’ into shapes they do not mean. This is how the leaders control the people and maintain their power. Our own people will not believe us. They will not even believe you, as they have been told that offworlders are agents of deceit or that their existence is a fantasy tale told to children.” Kurning explained, “But the leaders of our world must be convinced not only to shut down the Grid with the help of your engineer, but to tell the people of Donico the truth! Truth about the threat to their lives. Truth about their world-the good and the bad of it-and the universe they live in.” Kurning’s speech intensified. “If you are the one who conveys information, relay this to our leaders: We have one of their own.” He indicated Kyo-Ina. “We will exchange her for the release of the engineer Scott so that he can fix the Grid. But they must first inform the people of Donico of the unpleasant truth about the danger they are all in. If they do not admit what is real and true, we will not release Kyo-Ina. And your engineer will die. As will we all. But without truth, what is worth living for?” Kurning gave Uhura one last pleading look. “We will be watching and listening. Help us, Uhura. Make them communicate the truth.” The viewscreen went dark.

Uhura looked at the captain, suddenly anxious. “He can’t expect me to… Captain, how am I supposed to change the minds of a whole society? How can I convince their leaders to listen to me?”

Kirk’s voice was warm and confident. “You’ll just have to get them to hear the truth.”

But Uhura was unconvinced, and the small, nagging voice of self-doubt in her head suddenly became the words that she spoke. “I can’t do it. They won’t listen to me. I’m not a diplomat. I’m just a messenger who’s still in training.” She looked at Kirk and felt completely vulnerable. “I haven’t been on a landing party since… Nomad. I’m not ready for this.”

Kirk stood and grasped her by both shoulders. “You can do this, Lieutenant. You are ready for it. You are an invaluable member of this crew, and even if you don’t believe that or remember it… I do. You heard them. They don’t trust me. The only person they’ll listen to is you. Scotty’s life is in your hands. As are those of the Donican people. You are the communications officer of this ship, and truth and information are not only what you do… they’re who you are.” Kirk’s gaze pierced through Uhura’s fears. She felt the strength of his belief in her calm her fears slightly. Enough for her to take a deep breath.

Uhura held her head up. Her shoulders straightened. “Aye, sir. On my way.”

Uhura was met in the transporter room by two red-shirted security guards-Steib and Friedman-who accompanied her up onto the transporter pad. Uhura nodded to the transporter chief, who beamed them down to the Donican surface.

When they arrived at Diplomatic Headquarters, the blond woman who’d been briefly seen onscreen quickly moved toward them, accompanied by four black-suited Enforcers. When Steib and Friedman moved their hands toward their phasers in anticipation of trouble, Uhura gestured for them to keep their weapons undrawn. She faced the blonde, who identified herself as Cinda-Ru.

“What do you want here?” Cinda-Ru asked, her face masked in a tight smile.

Uhura began, “I have information for you. About Kyo-Ina.”

Cinda-Ru unconsciously clenched her teeth at the mention of the kidnapped co-worker. Despite her Donican teachings and attitude, it was a tender subject. “Kyo-Ina is not available. That is an internal Donican matter of no concern to you.”

Uhura considered her options. “Then I would like to speak with my friend.”

“That is not possible,” Cinda-Ru said. “Have a lovely day.” She turned to leave. Uhura stopped her.

“Please, I… want to understand his crime. What has he done that was so terrible?” Uhura felt more anxious than her manner portrayed.

“He was misinformed. That misinformation will be corrected,” Cinda-Ru answered.

“I would like to understand. Can you explain to me what he was misinformed about? Perhaps I can help correct his misimpression. Get him to see the truth of the situation. Then I could share that truth with others so they will understand better.” Uhura smiled winningly at Cinda-Ru, who considered Uhura’s words.

“I will confer with the council,” Cinda-Ru decided. “Please wait here.” Uhura took a deep breath when Cinda-Ru left with two of the Enforcers, leaving two others behind to watch the landing party. Uhura smiled at the Enforcers, who remained stone-faced. She turned to Steib and Friedman and shrugged. They waited.

Cinda-Ru soon returned. She said to Uhura, “We are aware of your starship orbiting our world. And we are not so foolish as to think that more will not follow and decide to intrude more forcibly into our society in the future if this situation is not clarified for all involved. You may see your engineer.” Uhura grinned widely. It was a small victory, but a good first step. “However…” Cinda-Ru continued. Uhura’s smile lessened. “We will be monitoring your conversation. We expect you to respect our ways, or else, like your friend, you will have to be… corrected.” Uhura nodded her understanding.

Cinda-Ru gestured for Uhura to come with her. When Steib and Friedman moved to follow, the Enforcers stopped them. Uhura looked back at the two security guards and shook her head, indicating that they should stay behind. This was her mission. But as she left them to go with Cinda-Ru, Uhura suddenly felt very alone and vulnerable. Scotty’s life depended on her. As did all the Donicans’ lives. She tried to joke to herself, No pressure, right? But the humor seemed hollow even to her.

Cinda-Ru explained the Donican perspective to Uhura as they walked. “Here on Donico, everyone is happy. Everyone is equally well treated. Everyone’s feelings are respected. Everyone’s position is considered. In the past, our people were hateful to each other. Hurtful. Inconsiderate. They only thought of their own happiness instead of that of others. They said things without thought to the consequences of how others would feel. That doesn’t happen now. We consider what is best for everyone. What will make everyone happy.” Cinda-Ru stopped walking and reached for Uhura’s arm, determined to convey this to her. “Bad news frightens people. Pain and anger and death and destruction hurt people. We don’t want fear or pain. We want joy. Unpleasant things simply do not happen here. That is our accepted life on Donico. Which your friend disrupted with his talk of disaster.” Uhura listened intently, gathering information.

They resumed walking and soon entered a room where Scotty sat on a cot in a barred cell. He stood instantly when he saw her and moved toward the door of the cell. “Lieutenant Uhura! What’s goin’ on? Where’s the captain? Are they goin’ t’let me out of here to fix the Grid?”

Uhura was greatly relieved to see that Scotty was all right. She moved over to the cell and covered his hands with hers. “Captain Kirk is back on the ship. He’s fine. I’m glad to see that you are, too.”

Before Uhura could say anything further, Cinda-Ru reminded her why she was there. “Now that you know us, we will allow you to attempt to reeducate your friend. It will not change his need for correction-that must be enforced. But perhaps it will help both of you to understand.” Cinda-Ru indicated what looked like a small video camera hanging inside a corner of the room. “We will be watching.” Uhura nodded.

Scott began to pester Uhura with more questions until she interrupted him. “Scotty… the Donicans have charged you with sedition for your… negativity about the Grid.” She looked up at the camera and watched her words.

“Negativity?! The thing’s going to blow any minute and they’re worried about ‘negativity’? Are they all daft?” he protested.

Uhura tried to control the situation and thought quickly. She glanced down at her hand, healing from its earlier injury, and something occurred to her. “Scotty, do you remember when Nomad… turned you off?”

Scott was confused at the sudden change of direction in the conversation. “Aye. But what does that…”

“In its own way, Nomad turned me off, too, when it erased my memory.” She glanced back at the camera, conscious of its presence. “But… we got better, right?”

“Aye?”

“Well, the Donicans seem to believe that as long as things get better, there’s no point in… dwelling on what’s past if it’s unpleasant.” Uhura continued to formulate her thoughts.

“But there’ll be no Donicans to dwell on anything if they dinna’ fix their Grid!” Scott insisted. “What does the past matter, when they won’t face the present?” He suddenly sat back down on the cot in the cell, seemingly defeated.

“The past matters because without acknowledging and accepting it-even the unpleasant parts-if you refuse it, then you can’t learn from it and get beyond it and grow. And heal.” Uhura looked intently at Scott. “You tried to put Nomad’s killing you behind you.” Scotty shook his head. “You have. But pretending it didn’t happen isn’t putting something behind you; it’s denying something happened to you. It’s denying a part of who you are. And until you accept who you are-all of who you are, the good things and the bad-you never can be whole. And you never can be truly happy.” Tears filled Uhura’s eyes. “Scotty… you died… because of me. You were trying to protect me. It was my fault.”

Scott immediately stood up and moved to stand near Uhura. “No, no, it wasn’t your fault. It was that beastly bucket of bolts. I didn’t want it to hurt you. I couldn’t let that happen.”

Uhura looked at him. “But you did.”

“What?”

“Despite your trying to stop it, Nomad hurt me. It erased my memory. Took who I was away from me. You didn’t stop it. You couldn’t.”

Scott looked sorrowfully at Uhura. “Lass, I’m so very sorry. I tried to save you from it. I tried…”

“But there was nothing you could do. That’s the point. We both have a guilt that we can’t change even if it’s over something we’re not truly responsible for. It’s a part of our past. A part of who we are. And if we deny that feeling, we deny ourselves. Because all we are is made up of our past. And until we understand our past, acknowledge it, we can’t understand ourselves.” Uhura’s mind flashed with the memories of the log entries she’d reviewed, but also with the experiences she’d had since then-laughing with Chapel, being rewarded with a compliment on a good job by Spock despite her own insecurities, a kind gesture from Yeoman Cappa. This was all a part of who she was.

Uhura turned to the camera watching them and addressed the Donican council. “Just as we can’t be whole without accepting all of ourselves, even the sad things, even the bad things, even the things that were out of our control, neither can you. How can you appreciate a sunny day without knowing what a rainy one is like? How can you appreciate having someone in your life who you love, without understanding what it is like to lose someone? You can deny that your people are unhappy by refusing to see sadness. You can deny Kyo-Ina has been taken by some of those unhappy people. You can deny that the Grid threatens you. But that does not mean these things did not happen, that these problems do not exist. A lack of disagreement is not peace-it is silence. And if you really want your people to be happy instead of docile, physically safe instead of emotionally shielded, alive instead of dead, you will see the truth, you will hear the truth, and you will speak the truth to your people. And you will truly live!” Uhura’s voice rang with the strength of her convictions and her eyes shone with a refreshed clarity. She knew who she was. Again.

A moment passed and nothing seemed to happen. Uhura and Scott stood alone in the room. Had anyone been listening? Had anyone heard?

Scotty shook his head. “I canna believe that that flying pile of circuits brought me back to life, only for me t’die here, because some people refuse to save themselves. It doesna’ make sense.”

“No, it doesn’t. And it’s not going to happen if I can help it.” Uhura stood firmly, confidently.

“Uhura.” Scotty looked up at her, saw her rediscovered strength. “When that thing… when Nomad… killed me and then brought me back… repaired me like I was just some broken baffle plate, turned me off and on like a machine… I’d never felt so out of control in all my life.”

Uhura reached out to Scott. The two clasped hands in understanding and shared experience.

A moment later, Cinda-Ru, no longer smiling, walked through the door. “Kyo-Ina has been taken away. I want to get her back. As do some on the council, though not all. While they are interpolating- ” She stopped herself. “While they are… fighting…” It seemed a difficult word for her to say. “I… want to help. How do we fix this… problem?”

Uhura smiled. “First, with a little information. Is there a nearby access point to a mass communications console?”

Cinda-Ru nodded.

“And will someone kindly unlock this cell and direct me to the Grid controls?” Scotty looked wryly at the ladies.

Cinda-Ru moved to unlock the cell.

As Kirk and the rest of the bridge crew watched the transmission from their viewscreen, Kurning, Tano, and Kyo-Ina were among the Donicans who listened in wonder and concern as Cinda-Ru appeared on every vid-screen on the planet and explained the situation with the Grid. The communication was cut off by a dissenting council member, but it was too late. The information was out there for all Donicans to hear. Kurning turned and untied Kyo-Ina. “You are free,” he said to her. “Now we shall all be free.”

Back aboard the Enterprise, Scott and Uhura resumed their usual bridge positions and exchanged a knowing smile.

“Good to have you back,” Kirk said to Scott, then turned to Uhura. “Both of you.”

Uhura grinned. “It’s good to be back, sir. Very good.” Her hands automatically danced across the communications board as she began to pass reports on to others as a matter of course.

McCoy exited the turbolift and moved over to stand at the side of Kirk’s chair. The captain noted to the doctor, “It seems that with the help of the FreeSpeakers, Kyo-Ina, and Cinda-Ru, the population of Donico II is well on their way to learning to live with their past and present.”

McCoy smiled. “Bodes well for their future, doesn’t it?”

“It certainly does,” Kirk agreed. He swiveled in his chair to look at his communications officer. “But they wouldn’t have dealt with it at all if it weren’t for someone forcing them to face the truth and cope with the Grid situation. You did an excellent job down there, Lieutenant.”

Uhura smiled widely. “Thank you, Captain. But I didn’t do it alone.” She looked over at Scotty, who looked back at her warmly. “In fact, if there’s one thing I learned down on Donico II, it’s that confidence isn’t about being independent and sticking your head in the sand, pretending everything is okay. It’s knowing when to go to someone else for help.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Scotty affirmed.

As Kirk ordered Sulu to take them to their next destination, the competent, confident communications officer of the Starship Enterprise tended to her duties and looked forward to her next assignment.