Ian took off his boots and stepped quietly up the stairs. No need to let the entire household know his intentions. He lifted the latch to Sìleas’s bedchamber door—their bedchamber door—and slipped inside. Blackness enveloped him as he eased the door shut behind him.
He felt for the bar and slid it across. He wanted no early-morning interruptions. Someone else would have to do the morning chores; he intended to keep Sìleas in bed late. Perhaps they wouldn’t get up at all tomorrow.
He stood near the door, every muscle taunt with anticipation, and waited for his eyes to adjust. His cock was painfully hard already. In the stillness, he heard her breathing, soft as sighs.
Gradually, he could make out her form on the bed. She lay on her back, with one arm flung up, framing her head on the pillow. He swallowed. He would carry this image of her from their first night together with him for the rest of his life. A wave of tenderness swelled in his chest. This woman was his to protect. His wife.
He was ready for the responsibility.
His throbbing cock reminded him he was more than ready for the pleasure. His breathing came in short, shallow breaths as he stepped to the edge of the bed.
Lying with her would not be like lying with other women. This was his wife. This was Sìleas.
The muscles of his stomach were tight, and his throat dry. He couldn’t wait to touch her. To remove her nightshift and run his hands over that creamy white skin for the first time. To sink his fingers into her mass of red hair as he kissed and caressed her.
They would be naked. Aye, definitely naked. Skin to skin, with the smell of heather in his nose.
He unwound his plaid and pulled his shirt over his head, letting them both drop to the floor at his feet. She gave a sigh as he lifted the covers and slipped beneath the blankets. With his heart thundering in his ears, he reached for her.
He caught the edge of her nightshift, the cloth stiff beneath his fingertips, as she rolled away from him with another sigh. He moved closer and rested his hand on the curve of her waist.
Lust roared through him like a wild beast. For God’s sake, she was a virgin. He told himself he must go slowly, but it was not going to be easy.
He pulled her against him and bit his lip against the surge of desire that swamped his senses and tested his will. He made himself take in slow, deep breaths. He meant to savor every part of this first time: holding his wife in bed, the smell of her hair in his face, the warmth of her body next to his.
He pushed her heavy hair to the side and kissed her neck.
“Mmmmm.” The sound came from deep in her throat.
He smiled against her skin as he breathed her in. He thought he might have to persuade her, but she had been waiting for him to come to her.
“Sìl,” he whispered in her ear, “I’m going to take your nightshift off now.”
When he nuzzled her neck, she made that low “Mmmmm” sound again, which set a fire deep in his belly. Then the breath went out of him in a rush as she pressed against him, making his cock throb against the crevice between her buttocks.
He worked her nightshift up, anticipating the feel of bare skin. Slowly, he eased it over her hip—ahhhh. Her skin was even softer than he imagined. One more tug on the shift and his shaft rested against her bare buttocks.
“Ye can’t know how good that feels,” he said in a choked whisper. So good, he nearly bit her shoulder. But this was going better than he expected, and he didn’t want to frighten her. So he kissed her shoulder softly, instead, and forced himself not to move against her. She drew in a deep breath that sounded so contented he wondered if he was worrying too much.
He wished he had lit a candle. He wanted to see her, but nothing could get him out of this bed now. It was pleasurable torture to run his hand slowly up and down the curve of her hip. Of its own volition, his hand moved to cup her breast.
Oh Jesu! The heavy softness of her full breast felt glorious in his hand. The nipple hardened and pressed against his palm—and he was a lost man. Blood pounded in his ears. His hunger was urgent, demanding. Now. He needed her under him now.
His resolution to go slow was a lost ship in the raging storm of his lust. All he wanted in this world was to be buried inside her. In an instant, he had her on her back. His hands were on her breasts under her nightgown, and his cock pressed against the inside of her thigh while he kissed her throat.
“Ian! What are ye doing?”
Ach, what was he doing? He dragged himself back from the edge. A virgin. She’s a virgin.
A virgin shouldn’t feel this good beneath him. He took her face in his hands and lowered his mouth to hers. Her kiss was so innocent, it shook him.
“Aw, Sìl, ye are a wonder to me,” he said.
He ran his tongue across her bottom lip and heard her draw in her breath. At first she seemed to resist his kisses, but gradually she softened. When he urged her mouth open, she jerked back, startled, but in another moment she softened for him again. When her tongue moved against his he saw a glimpse of the heaven to come. Soon he was drowning in her kisses.
It was all perfect. She was perfect.
He clutched his hands in her hair.
“Don’t be afraid. I’ll be careful. It won’t hurt much,” he whispered in her ear as he inched forward. He gasped when the head of his cock found its goal and touched her sweet center.
“Get off me!” Sìleas shouted, and started pounding her fists against his shoulders and chest.
“What? What’s wrong?” She didn’t answer, but she was clawing at him and squirming like a fish, so he rolled off her. “Sìl, what did I do?”
She threw off the covers and leaped out of the bed. He caught a glimpse of long legs in the moonlight from the window before she jerked her shift down.
She lit the candle and turned furious eyes on him. “What are ye doing in my bed, Ian MacDonald?”
“It’s my bed, too,” he said, trying to get his brain to work. His cock was so hard it hurt him. He had been so close…
“How dare ye come in here when I’m fast asleep and think ye can have your way with me.”
“You’re my wife,” Ian said. “That means I can have my way with ye.”
“So I’m your wife now, am I? Ye didn’t think so before.” She folded her arms beneath her breasts, and his throat went dry.
“I… I’ve decided to accept the situation,” he said, his eyes and thoughts on her breasts. The skin of his palms tingled with the memory of the feel of them in his hands. “I’m ready to take ye for my wife now. Quite ready.”
“Are ye now? And what has made ye come to this decision after all this time?”
She was tapping her foot, not a good sign. Ach, Sìl even had pretty ankles…
“Ian!” she said to get his attention. “I asked what made ye decide ye wanted to be married to me. I thought I ‘disgusted’ ye.”
He swung his legs over the side of the bed and gave her a slow look up and down.
“Ye don’t disgust me now,” he said, his voice thick. “And I don’t disgust you either, judging from the way ye were kissing me.” He couldn’t help grinning when he said it, which was probably a mistake.
“I was asleep!” She had her hands on her hips now, and her foot was tapping furiously.
“Maybe ye were at first,” he said, finding he was enjoying teasing her, “but I don’t believe ye were sleeping when ye kissed me back.”
“I thought I was dreaming,” she snapped. “I didn’t know what I was doing.”
“For not knowing, ye were doing fine,” he said, grinning at her. “Verra fine indeed.”
Her cheeks flushed, and she looked prettier still. He grabbed a handful of her voluminous nightshift and pulled her closer.
“I know ye heard me say some unfortunate words about ye before I left, and I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. But I find ye appealing now.” He dropped his gaze to the lovely, rounded breasts just inches from his face. “Verra appealing.”
When he looked up, her eyes were boring holes into him. He couldn’t think for the life of him what he was saying wrong now. What woman didn’t like to hear a compliment?
“What you’re saying is that ye want to take me to bed,” she said.
“Absolutely,” he said.
“And that’s the reason ye want to be my husband.”
“It’s one of the reasons,” he said, speaking carefully now. “I’ve also seen all you’ve done for my family, and how attached they are to ye. My mother is very fond of ye.”
“So ye want to keep me because your mother is fond of me,” she said. “That would be a rare comfort to any woman.”
The conversation had somehow gone awry. The problem was that there was too much conversation altogether. If he could just get her into bed again, he could make her forget whatever nonsense she was fussing about.
He stood up and pulled her against him.
“I am sorry if I can’t find the right words, but ye feel so good,” he murmured against her hair, “and ye smell so good, I cannot think.”
She gasped when he cupped her breast. Finally, she seemed at a loss for words.
“We are going to bed eventually, Sìl,” he said against her ear. “Don’t make me wait. I want ye badly.”
She shoved him away. “There’s nothing special about wanting to take me to bed, Ian MacDonald.” Flinging her arm to the side, she said, “Half the men in the clan could say that. At least, I don’t think many would refuse if I made the offer.”
Blood pounded in his ears. “If ye offered? If ye offered!”
“Ye wanting me in bed is not a good enough reason for me.” She stomped across the room. At the door, she turned and shouted over her shoulder, “You’re not good enough for me.”
She slammed the door so hard her pretty rocks on the windowsill bounced.
He was more than a wee bit annoyed himself. If she offered. How could she say such a thing?
He grabbed his shirt from the floor, pulled it over his head as he crossed the room in three long strides, and took off after her down the stairs. “You are the one who wanted to be married to me in the first place. Ye can’t deny it.”
“Just stay away from me,” she shouted back. “Or I swear, I’ll stick a dirk in ye.”
“You planned the whole thing because ye wanted to be away from your step-da,” he bellowed, as he followed her through the hall and into the kitchen. “And I wasn’t supposed to have any say over it, was I? Everyone would get what they wanted—but me.”
They were in the kitchen now, with the worktable between them. When he reached around the side to get a hold of her nightshift, she grabbed a skillet from the table and swung it at his head.
“Now that I want ye to be a true wife, ye change your mind,” he shouted. “Just what did ye think you were getting into? Did ye no expect a husband to want ye in his bed?”
“Perhaps I did expect it—a year ago. Or a month ago,” she shouted back. “Or a few days ago, when ye finally decided to bless us with your presence.”
“I am prepared to be your husband now,” Ian said, gritting his teeth.
“Oh, thank ye.” She rolled her eyes and patted her chest. “My heart is all aflutter over it.”
“You picked me, and like it or no, I am your husband,” he said. “And I don’t want to ever again hear my wife talking about other men and what they’d do if ye offered.”
That was when she caught him on the side of the head with the skillet.
“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, ye hit me!” He doubled over holding his head. It hurt like hell.
Sìleas looked as shocked by what she’d done as he was. He decided that if she were in a forgiving mood, so was he.
“Come, lass, this is no way to start our married life.”
“No, it isn’t,” she said in a shaky voice.
He noticed that she had a kitchen knife in her other hand now and reached for it. “Put the blade down, Sìl, and come to bed.”
That was when she hit him the second time.
He woke up on the floor with Sìleas standing over him, the kitchen blade still in her hand. Judging from the fire in her eyes, she was debating just where to stick it into him.
“I think you’re safe from the beast without having to use my best kitchen knife on him.”
At the sound of his mother’s voice, Ian risked taking his eyes off Sìleas long enough to see his mother standing in the doorway in her nightshift and cap. Her long, black and gray braid hung over her shoulder, and her hands were planted on her hips.
Ian rolled out of the way as the knife fell from Sìleas’s hand, and it clattered to the floor where he had been lying. Sìleas opened her mouth as if she were trying to form a reply to his mother, then she clamped her hand over her mouth and ran from the room.
“Thanks, mam,” Ian said as he got to his feet. He shook his head, trying to get his bearings and make sense of what just happened. One minute, he was kissing Sìleas in bed, and the next she was trying to kill him.
“And just what did ye think ye were doing?” his mother asked.
“Me?” he asked, thumping his chest. “Sìleas was the one attempting to murder me in your kitchen.”
“Ach, even half drunk as ye are, I expect ye could get away from a wee lass like Sìleas.” His mother waved a dismissive hand. “Now, are ye going to tell me how it is that sweet lass was chasing ye around the kitchen with a knife?”
“This is no something I’m going to discuss with my mother.” He picked the knife and skillet up from the floor and banged them on the table.
Niall appeared in the doorway behind his mother. “What’s he done to Sìleas? If he’s hurt her, I’ll kill him.”
Ian sighed and picked up the skillet again, in case he needed to defend himself.
“This is none of your business,” his mother said in a sharp voice. “Go back to bed. I’ll deal with Ian.”
Niall stood clenching his fists and glaring at Ian for a long moment before he obeyed his mother. When the door finally closed behind Niall, Ian set the skillet down. It was all so ridiculous, that a smile tugged at his lips. “Ye will deal with me, will ye, mam? Aren’t I a wee bit big for that?”
“I have some advice to give ye,” she said, “and you’d best listen if ye don’t want to lose your wife.”
Heaving a sigh, Ian followed his mother into the hall and took a seat by the hearth. His head still pounded from the skillet. The lass had a good arm.
“You’ve hardly spoken to Sìleas since ye came home, and then ye go to her room demanding rights as a husband,” his mother said, shaking her head.
“Mam, can you no respect my privacy? This is between Sìleas and me.”
His mother waved her hand again. “What did ye do, jump on the poor lass?”
“No, mam. I didn’t jump on her,” Ian said, keeping his voice calm with effort. “But she is my wife.”
“What kind of fool did I raise?” his mother said, tilting her head up as if beseeching Heaven.
“Ye made me marry her, and now ye are telling me I cannot act like a husband?”
“Ye know verra well that there are all kinds of marriages,” his mother said, pointing her finger at him. “If ye want a happy one, you’ll take my advice.”
He thought of Alex’s parents, who had been warring for as long as he’d known them. “All right, mam. Tell me what ye think I ought to do.”
“Ye broke her heart and hurt her pride,” his mother said. “So now ye must seek her forgiveness and earn her trust.”
“And how am I to do that?”
“Talk with her, spend time with her,” his mother said. “Make her see that ye value her.”
“I do value her,” he said.
“I’m no sure she understood that when ye burst into her bedchamber in the middle of the night demanding your rights.”
“I told ye, it wasn’t like that.”
“Sìleas knows ye were forced to wed her,” his mother said, leaning forward. “So what ye must do is convince her that if ye could have any woman in the world, she is the one you’d choose.”
He still wanted Sìl after she hit him in the head with a skillet—twice. Surely, that counted for something.
But would he choose Sìleas above any other woman? A week ago, he would not have believed it possible. Now, he wasn’t so sure.
“Sìleas had a father who thought more of his dogs than he did of his daughter, and then she got a step-da who was worse,” his mother said. “The lass needs a man who sees her worth and loves her. She deserves that. If you can’t give her that, then perhaps ye should step aside.”
Ian had always been fond of Sìleas. But he knew his mother was talking about something more than fondness. She was talking about what she and his father had.
His mother stood up and took his face in her hands. “I planned on the two of ye marrying long before that day your da and uncle caught ye sleeping in the woods with her.”
Ian raised his eyebrows. “Perhaps ye should have told me.”
“It would have done no good,” she said, and kissed his forehead. “Ye and Sìleas were made for each other. Just don’t ruin it by doing something else foolish.”