CHAPTER 5

To Michele it seemed but a moment that they had been together. And whoever was knocking at the door had no right to intrude.

She closed her eyes and lay very still.

But Leda said, "Aren't you going to answer it?"

"I thought you were asleep."

"I was." She twisted out of Michele's arms. "I'll go."

She heard Leda's little squeal of delight and knew that she had no alternative but to get up and dress. As Leda came bounding back into the room for her own clothes, Michele said, "Seems to me you see enough of those people all day without them coming around this time of night."

"What time do you think it is, dopey?"

Michele winced inside. She wanted to tell Leda it wasn't the time of night that really mattered. But then she would have to explain what did matter.

And what could she say to a girl who had so suddenly become interested in other people?

In silence Michele switched on the table lamp, pulled on her clothes and ran a comb through her hair. Their evening together was really only half complete. The nervousness she felt was a physical one rather than an actual grudge against Leda's friends. But how could she remind the girl of something that ought to be so obvious?

As she tied the sandals painfully back around her irritated feet, she heard two male voices and a female one in counterpoint to Leda's. Then she was in the living room, all three eying her with poorly veiled knowledge of her predicament.

"This is Jonny and this is Paul and this is Anne." Leda did a half pirouette in the way of a mime introduction.

Michele nodded, holding her breath as she looked for any signs of competition. She had met very few of Leda's friends and had ignored all of them. Now, suddenly, everything that touched Leda's life had taken on a great importance.

"You have a darling place," Jonny said.

Instinctively, Michele knew that she would have no trouble from this one.

"Just sit down anywhere," Leda said.

"I forgot to return these," Anne said, taking out a folded pair of black tights from her purse.

She seemed to be ignoring Michele, yet Michele knew that Anne had already assessed every inch of her. Michele pushed herself up onto the partition and dangled her legs carelessly.

She had to admit that this little redhead was attractive in a bitchy sort of way that made her skin crawl. She didn't like the wide olive and black skirt trying to proclaim her a bohemian. Everything about Anne from the dangling silver earrings to the spike heeled black shoes set Michele's teeth on edge.

How strange that Leda should be her good friend.

"I don't care if you're the Pope, those are my beads!" Jonny made a wild grab for the locket that Leda was hooking around her neck.

Everyone laughed except Michele.

She felt her teeth grind together. "Would anyone like some coffee?" she said, needing to break up the artificial rising of hysteria.

"I'd love some," Paul nodded. "Let me help you."

She had expected Leda to say this. And because Leda seemed to have ignored the offer, she blotted out Paul's response, too. Angrily, she swung off the partition and strode from the room.

In the kitchen, she turned the tap on full force into the aluminum coffee pot.

"I don't blame you," a voice said behind her. "My roommate used to have parties at three on Sunday nights. Some people have more stamina than others."

Michele waited until she felt sure that her voice would be under control. "We'll just blame it on the leotards this time," she said.

Paul leaned against the stove and watched her measuring out the coffee. "Espresso? That'll be a treat."

She looked into his wide spaced eyes and found them steady. "I bought it for Leda. It's her favorite coffee."

The eyes did not flicker. Nor did they make fun of her. "I'm sure she appreciates it."

"Are you?"

She didn't know what she wanted Paul to say to her. But silently she pleaded for any assurance at all, from anywhere. Desperation for a friend seemed suddenly to overwhelm her. There was no one she knew with whom she could talk about Leda. No one who might understand. In one night, she seemed to have changed worlds. And she felt vaguely as though she had left all her precious possessions back in the other one.

Paul struck a match and put it to the gas burner. "Leda never struck me as the type to show her feelings—her real, personal feelings, that is—out in public."

"Maybe not," Michele agreed. She liked the pitch of his voice. And she knew that he was trying to be friendly. Even if the words he said couldn't help her, maybe the tone of them would be able to soothe the ruffled edges of her feelings about the girl.

She reached into the cupboard and brought out five cups with saucers that didn't quite match.

Paul took them from her and set them on the table. He seemed to have caught her message and vaguely she could hear him rambling on while she kept her ears on the conversation going on in the other room.

Michele listened to the words and realized how much nothing was being said in exuberant sentences. Leda couldn't possibly be interested in something this inane.

When the coffee was ready, she lined the cups on a tray and let Paul carry it inside.

Anne had found a corner for herself on the window-sill. She had managed to seat herself and cross her legs in a pose that reminded Michele of the cheesecake photographs for Miss Laguna Beach. Yet the more she saw Anne flaunting her body, the more she relaxed, confident in the belief that Leda was made for finer, subtler things.

But did Leda know this?

"Do you dance?" Anne asked as Michele brought her a cup.

"No." She waited patiently for the calculated series of niggles.

A pencilled eyebrow went up as though to say, What else is there?

"I don't do anything," Michele continued, beginning to enjoy herself. "Except just what I'm doing right now."

But before she could go any further, Leda's voice interrupted. "We forgot to feed Boris."

"I didn't forget," Michele said. "He got it early tonight before I went shopping." She whistled and Boris came out from under the bed.

"Oh, Mary, look at that," Jonny said, his brassy blonde hair remaining slickly in place as he gestured violently with the upper half of his body.

Paul snapped his fingers. "Come here, Boris."

The dog obeyed instantly.

"I didn't know you had a way with dogs, too, dearie."

Michele, while ignoring Jonny, felt as though she were observing a new side of Leda. The sociable extrovert. She had never seen Leda tense before. Not in a way that made her smile without reason and gesticulate with the same wild mannerisms that Jonny used. Although Leda didn't use many words, her manner implied crudenesses that seemed forced.

And by the time everyone left and they were alone once more, Michele felt sure that Leda must be suffering the ravages of a splitting headache.

Without comment, they both proceeded to clean away cigarette butts and cups.

"Are those going to be our playmates?" Michele ventured when they were finished.

"Don't nag at me, please."

"I didn't mean anything, Leda. It would just be nice to know what's in store for me."

"You could have gone out if you didn't like it. You have before, you know."

Michele flushed, embarrassed by the implication in the girl's words. "I won't push," she murmured. She came up to Leda and put her arms around the girl's waist. "They happened to come at the wrong time, that's all."

She felt Leda sigh.

"I'm allowed," Michele continued, needing to press the issue until Leda admitted who was boss.

"Allowed what, honey?" Leda turned her head enough to kiss her on the chin.

"Allowed to gripe when our love life gets interrupted."

Leda took her by the wrists and carefully unclasped herself. "No doubt," she said, "that's the exact attitude to keep a girl starry-eyed forever."

Michele felt her mouth go dry.

Mistake number three in half as many days. She wondered if perhaps there really weren't some things she'd better learn about women before Leda slipped away from her.

"I love you," she said.

"I know it."

But Leda had turned away and was brushing her hair.