Mount Olympus

‘I KNOW REVENGE IS a dish best served cold,’ Athene says to Mother, ‘but surely yours must be frozen by now?’

‘You’re so pleased with yourself, aren’t you?’ Mother hisses at her.

Athene just smiles.

‘Hera and I have been discussing the matter and we thought that perhaps you should consider retraining.’

I’m thinking that if I couldn’t be a god I’d quite like to be a wolf.

But then Athene continues, ‘Of course, it’s one thing for Eros to spend his time facilitating mortal coupling – after all he’s only getting younger – but you, Aphrodite, should you not think about doing something a little more suited to your talents? For example … well … I’m sure we’ll be able to think of something. Free your mortals from the shackles of romance and they’ll flourish. Their families will benefit because without the thwarted passion, the jealousy, the impossible expectations each parent will be free to cooperate with the other parent to act in the best interest of their offspring. And their politicians will be able to do what comes naturally without the need for resignations and upheaval, because their life partner, if they have one, will be no more troubled than a sister or brother by something which would not even be termed unfaithfulness any more. So you see, Aphrodite, there really is no downside.’

Mother stands there, looking like she’d been struck by Zeus: her arms hanging limply, her mouth open, her eyes blank.

Athene sensing victory goes on, ‘And Rebecca Finch would be free to write something useful.’

‘Like a computer manual,’ I say.

‘Exactly.’

Mother totally stuns me by saying, all meek, ‘Maybe you’re right.’ And with that she walks out of the room leaving Athene and I looking at each other, baffled.

‘I didn’t expect it to be that easy,’ Athene says. ‘Still, who’s complaining.’

None of us sees Mother for a bit after that but then she’s back in her room reclining on her couch.

When she sees me she pats the seat next to her.

‘Sit down, Eros.’ Then she says in this slow, thoughtful voice, ‘They do need us, you know. I have thought long and hard about it, and those wretched mortals need us.’

I’m thinking that she’s looking like her old self again.

‘Of course they do.’

‘So you agree.’

‘Sure. With what?’

‘Eros, pull yourself together. I am saying that the mortals need us even more than we need them. You see, I haven’t just been moping while I’ve been away, I’ve been researching.’ Mothers points at a pile of papers on the floor. ‘Their scientists confirm what you and I already know: romantic love really is an integral part of what it is to be human, and not just a cover for the sexual urge. The brain is shown clearly to differentiate between the two. Different parts of the brain are stimulated by romantic and sexual urges. And guess which is the more powerful? Guess which is the winner?’

To be honest it’s all getting a bit technical for me.

‘Dunno.’

‘Romance!’

‘So the bet is back on?’

‘It was never off,’ Mother says.