Watching Adam tie Karla earlier this evening had been incredibly erotic for Angelina. She’d also loved Marc’s binding her hair, clearly an erogenous zone. His fingers combing through her hair had sent zings straight to her clit.
While Marc and Adam had shown her a much simpler technique for binding Luke’s arms and hands behind his back—they called it the hogtie—she hadn’t been as turned on tying up Luke. She’d been thinking about what it would be like to have Marc tie her up the way Adam had tied Karla.
She was so turned on by the time the gathering was winding down, after Karla and Luke had been untied, she felt as if she would explode. But Marc had only spoken to her as needed during the demonstration of the rope-bondage technique. Now he’d retreated into himself, as if he expected her to want to be with Luke.
But she wanted Marc. Hadn’t she made that clear?
“I think it’s time to get back to the house,” Adam said. “Karla and Angelina, are you about ready to go?”
Angelina looked at Marc, hoping he’d ask her to stay. But he just bent down and picked up the rope they’d discarded, ignoring her. Tears stung the backs of her eyes.
Luke came over to her and rubbed her back. “Angelina, I can give you a lift back to Adam’s, if you’d like. Might be a little crowded in the pick-up.”
“Thanks, Luke.” She thought it might be good if Karla and Adam had some time to themselves anyway, although Adam seemed to have retreated as far as Marc had.
Were all Doms this distant?
As she watched Karla, Adam, and Luke head for the stairs, she glanced over at the bed and wished Marc would finally make love to her. But clearly he wasn’t interested in that kind of relationship with her. Participating in BDSM scenes didn’t necessarily lead to having sex. He’d only agreed to the BDSM stuff this week.
Well, she’d take what she could get. She walked over to Marc and looked up, forcing him to return her gaze. “Thanks for everything. It’s been a lot of fun.” His sad smile took her by surprise. Nothing ventured… “If you want to play tonight, I’d like to stay.”
He stroked her cheek. “No, pet. I have a trek out on the mountain tomorrow, so I’d better get some sleep.”
His wilderness trek hadn’t kept him from playing the other night, but she didn’t point that out. “When will I see you again?” She could barely get the words out from the tightening in her throat.
“This one’s an overnight, but I’ll be at the club Wednesday night. Maybe we’ll give that medical room a try.” Her butt clenched at the reminder of the anal play he’d promised her. Even though they were alone, he bent down and whispered, “Wear the next size plug for four or five hours tomorrow, then move up to the last size on Wednesday, if you’re ready.” His scratchy whiskers brushed against her skin as his lips planted a very chaste kiss on her cheek.
“Yes, Sir. Good night.”
Angelina turned and walked toward the stairway to follow the others.
“Angelina.”
Hope swelled in her chest as she turned around to look back at Marc. Had he changed his mind? Did he want her to stay, after all?
“Take the leftovers with you. They’ll go bad before I have a chance to eat them.”
Tears welled in her eyes and she turned as she nodded, unable to say anything. She held onto the railing so she wouldn’t miss a step, then ran into Luke’s chest as she walked through the door into Marc’s bedroom. When he wrapped his arms around her, she let him hold her for a moment, then brushed the tears away and pulled back, not making eye contact.
“You okay, darlin’?”
She nodded, unable to speak. Taking his hand, she walked with him to the kitchen. Adam and Karla were nowhere in sight. She went to the refrigerator and pulled the dishes of leftovers out and set them on the counter.
“Marc wants us to take these over to Adam’s.” After determining that Luke didn’t want to take anything to his place, she picked up her purse and carried one dish while Luke took the other and they headed out the door. The nearly full moon bathed the driveway in light and made it easy to walk to the SUV and put the leftovers in the back. Feeling someone’s eyes on her, she looked up to find Marc’s silhouette in the window of the tower. Then he was gone, but the feeling of his watching her remained, a little niggling at the nape of her neck.
Luke opened the passenger door for her and she got inside. Her mind played over the events of the night. What had been one of the best nights of her life certainly had ended on a sour note.
* * *
Luke walked around to the driver’s side of the Landrover, feeling a bit like manure on a boot. Clearly, Angelina wanted to stay with Marc. But his friend had been pushing her at him all night. Not that he didn’t appreciate the effort, but Luke had begun to realize pretty damned quick Angel was made for Marc. He didn’t know what Maggie’s dream had meant, but, as much as he’d like her to be, this woman wasn’t his angel.
He got behind the wheel and glanced over at her, but she kept her gaze out the window, looking up at the tower. Was Marc standing there? Luke was pissed that Marc would treat Angel so badly, but didn’t expect to have a chance to talk with him about it. He’d be out on the mountain until Wednesday afternoon.
Luke wished he knew what to say to her to make her feel better, but he didn’t understand Marc’s behavior. Why was he running hot one minute and cold the next? The man loved women. Angel was what every woman should be. Was he blind? If she’d been anyone but Antonio Giardano’s daughter, he’d have…
That was a dead horse. He turned the engine over and backed out of the driveway and onto the darkened street. No lights out here. Funny how Marc managed to find a place so close to the city, but close to the wilderness, too. Out of nowhere, a vehicle came up behind him, it’s headlights on high beam. Jerk. So much for wilderness.
Luke looked over at Angel. “You okay?”
“Yeah. Just tired, I guess. Thanks for taking me back to Adam’s.”
“Not a problem.”
They drove for a few miles and then Angelina broke the silence. “The Shibari was pretty amazing. How did you like being tied up?”
He laughed out loud. “I think I prefer being on the other end of the rope.”
“Me, too.”
“I wish I had the skills Adam does, though. He and Karla moved as if it were in a choreographed dance.”
“They’re good together. I know she likes him.”
“Well, good luck with that. He hasn’t really looked at anyone since his wife died, from what I’ve heard.”
“But that was so long ago. Oh, I’m sorry, Luke. I wasn’t thinking.”
Luke waved her hand away. “It’s been seven years for me and even longer for Adam. But I don’t think you can tell someone to grieve X number of years and then have them just get back into the game when they reach that magical limit. It’s different for everyone.”
“How about you? Think you’ll ever remarry?”
“Not really looking for a wife at the moment. But I think I’m maybe going to date again sometime. If I meet the right woman.”
I’m sending you an angel.
“I hope you do, Luke. You’ll make someone a wonderful…date.” He saw her grin and was happy to see her mood had lifted some. They drove on in silence; traffic picked up as they neared Adam’s house.
“Oh, my God.”
Luke eased off the accelerator. “What’s the matter?”
She turned to him. “You made the cross for the club, didn’t you?”
How did she get from talking about his dating to the bondage crosses he made? Without thinking, he began, “Yeah, I…” Oh, damn.
“So, you and Marc didn’t just meet Adam for the first time on Sunday.”
Luke drew a lungful of air, trying to think how he should answer this without sharing things it wasn’t his place to tell her. “I met Adam when I did the carpentry on the house while they were renovating it for the club five years ago.”
“They?”
Okay, he was just digging the hole deeper. Marc needed to be the one to come clean to her, not Luke. “Adam and Damián?”
“Are you asking or telling me?”
Clearly, she already suspected. He’d only make matters worse if he continued the lie at this point.
“And Marc.”
She gasped. Shit. He needed to get Marc over here.
* * *
Blood pounded in her ears as she processed what Luke had just told her. Marc had lied to her. Why? What difference could it make to her if Marc was in some kind of partnership at the club?
All that mattered was that Marc deliberately lied to her.
What else had he lied about? How could she ever trust him? He’d demanded that she trust him and always be honest, and yet he hadn’t been decent enough to show her the same courtesy. Angelina wanted to go home, nurse her wounds.
Maybe Karla could drop her off Thursday morning when she went to pick up her friend Cassie for their camping trip. Angelina felt a mixture of regret and relief over not having to go out in the wilderness with them. But she couldn’t wait to get inside and talk with Karla tonight. She needed some advice about what she should do.
Luke pulled into the driveway and cut the engine. “Angel, talk to Marc before you do anything. I’m sure he has his reasons.”
“Thanks for the ride home, Luke.” She reached for the door handle and Luke put his hand on her shoulder.
“He’s scared about something, Angel. I don’t know what, but I don’t want to see him hurt either. Just talk to him before you do anything. Don’t go back home alone, either. You know that jerk can come after you again at any time.”
Angelina nodded, mainly to end the conversation. “Can you help me get the leftovers inside?”
When they walked into the kitchen, they put the dishes in the fridge and Luke said goodbye.
“Please don’t say anything to Marc.”
Luke looked away.
“I mean it, Luke. I need time to think and I can’t do that when he’s around me.” He would just fill her with more of his lies or, worse yet, short-circuit her brain so that she would blindly obey any command he gave her.
Only she no longer wanted him to pretend to be her Dom either. Clearly, he’d only been playing some kind of game with her. He had no intention of ever being her real Dom.
After Luke left, tears stung her eyes and she started toward the hallway. On the stairs, she saw Karla on her way down, her eyes red, probably from crying. They would make a lovely pair tonight.
“What’s wrong, Angie?” She squeezed Angelina’s forearm.
“Marc lied to me. Everything about him was a fake.”
When Karla’s gaze shifted away, Angelina realized her new friend already knew. Adam had to have known. They’d all lied to her.
Angelina started up the stairs agin. “I’m going to bed.” She couldn’t get away from everyone fast enough.
“Wait, Angie! Let me try to explain.”
Angelina turned and looked at the woman she’d thought would become a good friend. “I’m listening.” She knew her voice sounded cold and hated to see tears in Karla’s eyes, but her stomach was churning and she really wanted to be alone.
Karla stood several inches taller than Angelina, so she took the next step up to be able to come face to face so she wouldn’t have to tilt her head back. She needed to be able to run the bullshit meter on whatever Karla was going to say.
“Oh, God. I don’t even know what’s going on! Please believe me, Angie. All I know is that Adam told me not to recognize Marc—and I’d never met Luke before, so that was easy enough.”
The distress in Karla’s expression seemed genuine. “Let’s talk to Adam. I’m sure he can explain. I think he had a talk with Marc. He wasn’t happy at all about the lie, that I know. He doesn’t get angry often, but he was angry when he told me Sunday. But from what I know about Marc, he must have had a good reason for doing it.”
But Marc had told her repeatedly that a Dom and his sub could have no lies between them, no secrets. And yet, he’d blatantly lied.
“Thanks for that, Karla. I’m tired. I just want to go to bed. Is it okay if I use your shower?”
She wanted to just wash the lies down the drain—and escape in sleep.
* * *
Oh, shit.
Marc disconnected the phone and set it on the nightstand. He’d gone to bed right after everyone left. The house was his silent tomb once again, but for a few hours tonight, there had been life inside these walls for the first time in…forever.
He’d tried to get into the latest Carofiglio novel, but not even Guido Guerrieri’s new case could hold his interest. He’d put the book aside and turned off the light when Karla had called to tell him Angelina knew he’d lied to her and just what did he plan to do about it.
Had Luke told her, or did she just figure it out on her own?
No matter. In a way, he was glad she knew, because trying to pretend he didn’t know Adam and Damián had been a nightmare. He’d probably slipped up any number of times tonight alone. No wonder she’d figured it out.
But now what? Should he go over to Adam’s and tell her why or was this the opportunity he needed to back away from her without things getting…complicated. Hell, it was only Monday and he’d already started dreading her leaving this weekend to go back home.
Even so, he’d found it so damned hard to push her toward Luke tonight, even though he knew it was the right thing to do. Maybe he should call Luke and have him go over and be there for her right now.
He told himself he just didn’t want the tears and drama of being confronted by Angelina tonight. Italian women could be…emotional.
In reality, he knew he just had no business being with her. She deserved someone solid. Someone who wasn’t missing the commitment gene. Someone like Luke. Marc knew he was being a dickwad, as Adam would put it, but he picked up the phone and speed-dialed Luke.
“What’s up?” There was an edge to Luke’s voice, as though he were feeling Marc out to see what he knew. So, had he been the one to her?
“Angelina needs you.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
Marc closed his eyes. “She found out I lied to her.”
“Then why aren’t you over there right now telling her whatever the hell is going on in that thick head of yours?”
“Because I’m not going to make excuses. We weren’t meant to be. You’re the one with divine intervention on your side. You said you had a message from Maggie that she was sending Angelina to you. Now’s your time to be there for her. Karla said she’s hurting.”
Dammit, I don’t want her to be hurting.
“I don’t think Maggie’s message meant Angel.”
“Oh, come on! You two are perfect for each other. You can give her everything she needs. Hell, you’re even into BDSM. I had no fucking clue until tonight.”
“Marc, for once in your life, stop running. Get over there and talk to her. I’m telling you, she wants you and will probably forgive you, if you’d just explain yourself.”
But there was no explanation he could give her. No, it was better that she hated him than that she got any more attached to him. He couldn’t be the Dom she needed.
He sure as hell wasn’t the man she needed either.
After listening to Luke call him a few choice names, words he’d never heard Luke speak before, he hung up the phone and laid his forearm over his eyes. Unfortunately, he couldn’t block out the images of her.
Angelina’s smile. Or the way she nibbled her lower lip when she was over-analyzing something—which was often. How she dominated his kitchen and made him want to see her there every night when he came home. The way she flew apart with such abandon at his hands.
Shock and awe. His cock stirred to life. She’d woven herself into his life so insidiously he didn’t know how he would ever be able to look at another woman.
But she deserved a lot more than he could give. He’d shut down emotionally a long time ago. She was bursting with a joy for living, an exuberant curiosity, and more love to give than most men deserved.
Certainly not this man.
His phone beeped to indicate a text message and he picked it up to read: “Get ur fucking ass down here. Now.”
He smiled ruefully. Sorry, Adam. Not following orders this time. She doesn’t need me in her life. He punched in the words “Tell her whatever you want. I don’t want to hurt her any more” and hit send, then turned off the phone, as well as the light, and went to bed.
The alarm went off six hours later and he awoke feeling as though he’d only slept ten minutes. He hadn’t been that restless since Iraq. After a shower and breakfast, he got into the Porsche and drove to his outfitter store downtown to meet his six clients for today’s trek. Brian, his business partner, had seen they were equipped to within an inch of their lives. The man could sell a firewood to a snowman. He could also balance the books, which made Marc happy, so he could devote himself to trekking.
They loaded into the 14-passenger van, Brian driving, and headed west on I-70. Brian would meet up with them over on Torrey’s Peak tomorrow afternoon. The group planned to hike Gray’s Peak then proceed to Torrey’s, camping overnight somewhere in between. He welcomed the strenuousness of the hike. He needed to expel a shitload of frustration today. Two Fourteeners ought to provide the level of exertion he needed to make a dent, at least.
Reports indicated the roads were open to the trailhead for Gray’s, not always the case at this time of year because of snow. But there would be snow at the summits. The Knife’s Edge at Kelso Ridge ought to be interesting even with a dusting.
Bring it on.
* * *
Angelina’s eyes were gritty as she rolled over to see what time it was. Eleven. Good God, she hadn’t slept that late in forever. Well, slept might not be the best word to describe what went on in this bed last night.
She picked up her phone and called Tony. The sooner someone could take her home, the better. Adam had refused her request last night, probably because of Allen. But clearly there was no reason for her to stay here. She’d handled Allen before and would again.
The man she couldn’t handle seemed to be Marc. She felt tears burn her eyes again as Tony answered.
“What’s up, baby?”
“Don’t call me that. You know I hate it.”
“That’s what makes it the perfect name for you.”
She could just imagine his grin. She walked over to the dresser and picked up her brush and looked at herself in the mirror. The bruise. Oh, God. She’d forgotten all about that. No way would she be able to cover it without looking like an actress in full stage pancake.
What had ever possessed her to call her brother?
“I was just calling to see how Mama is.”
“Fine, as far as I know. I was over there Sunday. We missed you. You will be there this Sunday, won’t you?”
She looked at the bruise, which was only just beginning to turn shades of yellow. “I think so.”
“How’s Denver? Mama said you were doing cooking classes?”
Denver sucks and I just want to go home.
“Denver’s fine. The first day of class went well.” Oh, God, would Karla be wanting another lesson today? In Marc’s kitchen? She didn’t want to go anywhere near him, although he’d said he would be out on the mountain today. Overnight.
“What did you learn?”
Never to trust men like Marc D’Alessio.
“I’m actually the instructor.”
“Wow! I’m impressed as hell, sis.”
She sighed. “Yeah, well, class is about to start. I just wanted to say hi.”
“Well, hi and bye. See you Sunday. Knock ’em dead, baby.”
I’d love to, but he’s out on a mountain right now.
After saying goodbye and disconnecting, there wasn’t anything she could do but go downstairs and face Karla, and possibly Adam. The two of them had tried to engage her in conversation last night, but she’d retreated to her room after her shower and cried herself into a fitful sleep.
Why she’d let herself want Marc so badly in such a short time baffled her. No, not a want—a need. How could she come to need someone in such a short time? But the thought of his not being around to continue her training made her physically sick.
What happened to her being independent and not needing a man for anything? And yet he’d made her need even more than a man. He’d awakened her body to its need to submit. For her mind to be dominated during sexual encounters, at least, by a Dom who would make sure all her needs were met.
Oh, Angie. That perfect Dom only exists in your dreams.
At the bottom of the stairs, she turned down the hallway to the kitchen. The smell of coffee and cinnamon assailed her as she entered the room, one or both causing her stomach to churn. Better not attempt to eat anything this morning.
Karla sat facing her at the table, with Adam’s back to her. The woman’s eyes looked like they could spit fire. Angelina wondered if she should leave.
Then Karla noticed her and smiled, her demeanor softening immediately. “Good morning, Angie.” She got up and came over to greet her, just as Adam stood and turned around. The look of pity in his eyes just made her feel worse. She didn’t want anyone’s pity, even if she deserved it. She also saw a bit of remorse there. Now that she’d accept. He could just wallow in it. Doms weren’t supposed to lie to subs. There was a rule about that somewhere, wasn’t there?
But you’re nobody’s sub, Angie.
Karla stopped in front of her and stood awkwardly, then seemed to come to a decision and wrapped her arms around Angelina. At first, Angelina just stood there, arms at her side. “Please forgive me, Angie. I never wanted to hurt you.”
Angelina realized Karla had just been trying to please Adam. All subs tried to please their Doms. Not that Karla was any closer to finding her perfect Dom than Angelina was. They’d never get there if they kept choosing emotionally unavailable men like Marc and Adam.
Feeling something squeezing her chest, Angelina hugged Karla back. She decided she didn’t want to lose the woman’s fledgling friendship. When the hug ended, they just looked at each other, speaking volumes without saying a word.
“Have some coffee.” She looked over at Adam who extended a mug of the brew toward her. “You can doctor it up any way you’d like.” He pointed to the sugar and creamer on the counter.
“Black’s best. Thanks.” She avoided making eye contact and brought the mug to her mouth, inhaling the aroma as she took a tentative sip. Hot.
“Karla made some cinnamon rolls, if you’re hungry.”
“No, thanks. Coffee will do it for me.”
Adam motioned toward the table. “Why don’t we all sit down?”
Without anywhere to escape to, Angelina knew she’d have to get to where she could at least be civil with Adam while staying in his house. She hoped the conversation wouldn’t turn to Marc, but those hopes were dashed soon after she sat down.
“I’m sorry about the lie that was perpetrated against you in my house,” Adam began. “I told Marc I wanted him to come clean—and soon—but, for whatever reason, he didn’t do so.”
Surprisingly, no tears threatened. Maybe she was getting over him already. “It’s okay. I…”
“No, it’s not okay, hon. You need to get pissed and yell and scream or something. I don’t want you thinking you deserved to be treated this way.”
Okay, if he didn’t stop talking like that and soon, she would start crying again, and she wasn’t going to go there. She looked down at the black liquid in her mug, a reflection of her mood. Maybe he was right. She didn’t usually get silent. She fought back.
Angelina raised her gaze to meet Adam’s. “Why did you go along with it?”
“Because sometimes I’m a damned fool.” He rubbed the back of his neck before meeting her gaze again. “But Doc’s…Marc’s trying to sort some things out right now. He’s been at some kind of crossroads for a while now and you just steamrolled over him while he was standing there deciding which way to go.” Adam smiled. “I thought if he took a couple more days to process whatever’s going on in that thick Italian skull of his—sorry, no disrespect to you—but I thought he’d come to his senses by now and do the right thing.”
Angelina smiled for the first time since last night. “Italian men do tend to be thick-headed.” She sobered again. “But I trusted him, and I don’t trust easily. Why did he lie to me, when he demanded honesty from me?”
“That’s something you’re going to have to ask him. But I’ve known Marc as a friend for seven years and I can tell you lying isn’t in his character. He’s an honorable man. Stubborn, arrogant, and domineering, too.”
“I hadn’t notice,” she said, hoping her voice dripped with the sarcasm she intended. “And why didn’t he come over here and explain himself last night?”
“Marc will climb a Fourteener to avoid confrontation.”
Apparently, that’s not all he liked to avoid.
Karla leaned forward and touched Angelina’s hand. “I’ve only known him a couple months, but I’ve never seen him so taken with any of the women at the club. I think he does care a lot about you, Angie.”
Adam cleared his throat. “I want you to hear this if you hear nothing else, hon. I have no doubt that man would lay his life on the line for you, just as I saw him do for Damián and others in Iraq. He’s a good and decent man. Whatever is going through that confused head of his, he just needs some time to sort it out. Maybe he’ll find some answers up on that mountain. He does his best thinking out in the wilderness.”
Thoughts of Marc’s thriving in the wilderness was just another wedge between them. She could never share that with him. Being out in those mountains terrified her, even though that hadn’t been the case before Papa’s death. The Giardanos had enjoyed camping, hiking, and skiing every chance they could. Angelina was the only one with an aversion to those activities now.
“Look, I’m not saying look the other way. You go ahead and hold his balls to the fire.” Adam looked away. “Sorry. Once a Marine….” He returned his gaze to her and grinned like a little boy. Like Marc.
“I’m just saying, demand honesty, hear him out, make him bleed a little, if you need to. But if you want a man to go to the ends of the earth for you, they don’t come much finer than Marc D’Alessio.”