CHAPTER 1
Clio Finn rested her face against the bulkhead of her cabin, listening to countdown over the intercom, trying not to pass out. She felt a vein in her forehead throbbing against the cool metal of the ship. Minus twelve minutes and counting, ship’s voice said. Eleven. She had just popped the last of the pills, and already she was shaking bad, but the ship was primed to go, her metal skin humming, deck throbbing, air charged with static and the hot, sharp smell of engines stoked to burn.
Then the captain was calling her to the bridge, in tones that said, Now, Finn.
Clio yanked open the cabin door, jammed down the corridor, nearly colliding with Hillis, chief botanist. He grabbed her arm, stopping her a moment.
“What’s up, Clio? You OK?”
“Sure.” She flashed him a wide smile, then dropped it. “Maybe this Dive’s got me spooked,” she said. “Maybe I got a bad feeling about this one.”
He pulled her in close to him, looking into her eyes, and whispered, “Jesus, Clio, how many of those things did you take?”
“Just two,” she lied, searching his face for some comfort.
He shook his head, released her.
Clio raced for the bridge, taking the ladder to the flight deck two rungs at a time. She emerged onto Starhawk’s bridge, now dim for pre-Dive countdown, readouts pulsing on every side. Captain Russo was busy with command central on visual. She nodded at Clio. Clio nodded back, slipped into her chair. Her copilot, Harper Teeg, seated next to her, raised an eyebrow at her.
Clio faced him. “Had to take a pee, OK?”
“I thought you girls had iron bladders.”
“You haven’t learned anything new about girls since seventh grade, Teeg.”
“Just waiting for the right teacher, Miss Finn.” His eyes lapped her up in the usual way. Didn’t matter they were about to Dive back four hundred thousand years, didn’t matter she was sick as hell and the only one on board that could steer this crate. Things like that didn’t faze Harper Teeg.
Clio strapped herself in, clipped her headphones on, pushing them into her short, thick auburn hair. She scanned the instrumentation, everything looking good, panels surging to go. Listened to the countdown droning of command central, still coming in clear from Earth’s largest space station, Vanda, though eleven thousand kilometers distant from the ship.
On another channel, Captain Russo found time to say, “Lieutenant Finn, you don’t leave the bridge during countdown again, you copy?”
Clio turned her head around to her, acknowledging. “Yessir. Sorry, sir.” Russo wasn’t half bad, Clio thought. Just stiff as hell, a lifer with Biotime. No grey in that short black hair, though. If Russo felt the pressures of command, she buried it deep in her stocky body.
Countdown was looking good, going smooth. Until Ellison Brisher patched in from Vanda Station, his puffy face filling screen number two.
“You got a problem, Ellison?” Russo asked, her voice even, her face scowling at this last-second interference from the company.
“Not at all. You are on track, Captain. Little jumpy aren’t we?” He popped a small candy in his mouth, moving his jaw sideways, as though chewing cud.
“Yeah, I’m always jumpy when I take a little trip like this.”
Brisher smiled. “Just wondering how Clio’s doing.”
Russo shook her head. “She’s on task, Ellison. You want to talk to her?”
Brisher looked surprised. “No. Not necessary, just backing you up, Captain. Anything you need, just ask.”
“Thanks, Biotime, we are ready to fly. No problems.” In a tone that said, And keep your goddamn nose off the bridge.
Clio listened to this exchange, her stomach clenching up, a trickle of sweat starting to cut a path down her hairline. Ellison Brisher was out to get her, she figured; whether he had anything on her or not was a question. Didn’t want to think about what Biotime’s chief operations officer could do to her if he chose.
Screen two blanked out as station systems separated from the ship, leaving them in communications blackout as Starhawk gathered speed, reaching for Dive velocity, reaching for their destination, Crippen’s Planet.
Clio gripped the chair arms, preparing for Dive. Except there wasn’t any way to prepare for Dive. Other Dive pilots had their rituals, customs, superstitions. Clio just dove, letting the time stream take her, fighting the fear, the hallucinations, riding the sheer joy of it. Every other poor bastard on the ship in dreamland, unconscious, depending on her, a Dive pilot with a dozen too many missions, and now with the shakes to prove it.
Russo’s voice: “Approaching Dive. Thirty seconds. Finn, you ready?”
“Ready, sir.”
Teeg flashed a grin at her. “Night all. Wake me with a kiss, this once, Finn.”
“Kiss my ass, Teeg.”
“Baby, I been dreaming on it.”
Russo again: “Cut the chatter, we’re heading into Dive. Helm to you, Finn.”
“Yessir.” Clio throttled the main engines up to 100 percent, felt the ship lurch and reach for transition speed, threw the pair of switches controlling the time coils. Sensed, then felt, the field envelope the ship, hit the flight deck, take her reeling into the hidden underbelly of the space-time continuum.
And she was Diving. Was Diving down, leaving the common universe, felt her consciousness floating just in front of her forehead, but her thought process, her coordination, they remained normal if she remembered to engage them. The ship lights pulsed way down, cranking up the stars to laser intensity as Clio watched through the viewport. Teeg’s head slumped to the side, he was out, they were all out. Starhawk was changing dimensions, from space to time, sweeping her up in a slow, rolling wave that for some obscure reason left only a select few conscious and able to fly. And Clio Finn was one. Used to be, she thought. Now I gotta have a little help.
The dimension change triggered a nasty ripple in space-time. Clio almost thought she could see the ripple fan outward from the ship, but well clear of Earth, got to stay well clear. Ripple or no ripple, you want to avoid your own historical past—avoid changing it, changing yourself. No matter how much you’d like to redo it. No second chances. Just fly by the book, girl.
She leaned forward, cradling her stomach, felt that old warm brick forming there, saw the lights haloed around the control panel, and the air on the bridge turned thick as water at thirty fathoms. Gotta ride this pony. Going to be fine. Dive fifty-five, going to be fine.
Clio’s eyes flicked over to the comm screen, all static now, picking up only the electromagnetic impulses of the galaxy. The static ebbed and surged, creating patterns if she watched long enough—sometimes faces, a fleeting Rorschach test. Clio yanked her attention back to the control board, trying hard to stay tuned, get the job done.
The right-side controls in front of her were for aerospace, the left for Dive. She jockeyed both sides. The Dive pilot rode the controls through Dive, and, coming up on real space, flew the ship like a normal pilot.
The contrails of the stars striped across the viewport, tracing the bright orbits of their endless paths, as the Milky Way rotated around its center. Starhawk was picking up time speed, the past rushing by. Time before she was born, before Mom and Elsie and Petya. Time before the good old U.S. of A. Time before time.
Clio focused her eyes on the chronometer, watched the numbers scroll up, six thousand years, going on seven thousand, now crawling to eight thousand. She scanned the readouts for chunks of matter the galaxy might throw at the ship, hurtling along faster than mere humans were meant to travel. Gotta stay awake, stay awake.
Teeg was radiating colors everywhere his skin was exposed. His face had become fuzzy, as though the surface of his skin wasn’t always in exactly the same place. His handsome, squarish face had lost its perpetual leer, looking lost and serene. Trusting to wake up in the right time and right place, like a child committing himself to sleep, to the night.
If I should die before I wake …
Clio snapped back in a hurry. You were getting a little mesmerized there, old girl. Was not. Were too.
Ran a systems check. What the hell time was it anyway? She laughed out loud at that; heard a voice, high and bell-like. God, was that her laugh? Damn well better be. Don’t get spooked now, girl. You got a job to do.
The numbers slipped by the face of the chronometer, counting the years, the thousands, the hundreds of thousands, until time was meaningless, too enormous to matter, to count. There in the blackness of interstellar space, moving back in time meant less about time than it did about space. The solar system, the whole galaxy, was rushing headlong through the universe, while at the same time the galaxy was rotating around its own center. Going back in time, you found yourself surrounded by the stars that had preceded Sol on its swing through the galaxy. Travel to the stars achieved without faster-than-light speed, a simple backdoor approach called time travel. Humanity’s only bridge across the monstrous distances of space. A limited bridge, but better than nothing. Vandarthanan’s mathematical vision of the mechanics of time had opened up space travel without the need for the speed—or near speed—of light.
A Dive ship was needed. Both a spacecraft and a time-travel device. Send it out far from Earth to avoid paradox risks. Send it back in time, not forward in time—at least not past the Future Ceiling, that current date you left on Vanda. But back in time, in search of an Earthlike planet, one that had once swung by on its immense sweep along the Orion arm of the galaxy. Sometimes Clio thought of it as a merry-go-round, where those rearing horses, nostrils flaring, plunged ahead of her, but only a moment before occupied the very point on the circle, the very point where she and her red-saddled mare now thundered by. Space was like that, a little. Galaxy, solar systems, planets, all thundering by in a headlong, circling rush to nowhere. And with Dive, humanity could hold on and ride …
With only a few flaws.
Like the Future Ceiling, forbidding all trespass. Like Dive pilot burnout, where you push a Dive pilot past certain tolerances and neurons burn out, flaring incandescent, leaving your highly trained pilot a few bricks short of a full load. Took twenty-five to thirty Dives, or thereabouts. Then the companies brought in your replacement.… Hey, show the fellow around, will you?
She leaned back in her chair, breathing deeply, remembering where she was: Starhawk, Starhawk, hawk of the stars, circling, circling, watching for its prey.…
Clio jerked up in her chair. She had dozed off. Gods! She had lost it this time, gone over the edge, gone under with the rest of the crew. Jolted awake by the dimension swing. They were stopped dead in space, the chronometer reading steady.
Jesus, how long had they been sitting here, everybody blacked out, no one in charge … She punched in visual, scanning the telemetry: and there was a planet—no, a moon. Crippen’s moon, by God. Practically a bull’s-eye in Dive terms and damn lucky they didn’t hit it. Even considering their hopes to get close on the reasonably short Dive, this one was definitely snug on the mark.
Then a shattering Klaxon alarm sounded as a massive object loomed into view, headed directly toward Starhawk. An asteroid, caught in the moon’s faint gravity, same as the ship herself. They were about to get acquainted, real fast. Clio hit the thrusters, swinging the ship around, and punched up the engines to full, moving Starhawk out of the path, but not before the blast from the ship’s jets hit the icy asteroid surface and kicked up a rushing plume of water vapor. The eruption hit the ship, sending a shudder through the cabin. She heard the wrenching of metal down amidships, and then they were plunging toward the large moon itself.
As Clio struggled to bring the ship under control, she heard a groan from Captain Russo, always the first to recover from Dive, then her angry command, “Bring the helm over to Teeg!”
“Teeg’s still out, Captain. I’m working this tumble.…” Starhawk was tumbling headlong toward Crippen’s moon, five rotations a second. Clio fought the controls, her hands flying over the board, slowing the tumble, but still they were headed dead-on for the moon, out of control. Voices were screaming over the comm, but Clio rode the ship, shutting them out. Gotta ride this pony, goddamn it, gotta ride it …
Then she got the nose of the ship up, and they were skimming across the horizon of Crippen’s moon, tugged at by the thin gravity, but breaking away in a mad rush for space.
Clio moved them well off from the asteroid, scanned the visual display one more time, saw that they were well clear and safe. Then she leaned into her sick bag and threw up.
“Helm to you, Teeg,” the captain was saying as Clio passed out.
In her dreams she could hear the hull resound: metal scraping on metal. Maybe she wasn’t dreaming, just delirious, if there was a difference.
She woke up to see Doc Posie leaning over her, taking a blood-pressure reading. Posie was only an RN, but the crew called him Doc; a real doctor wouldn’t fuss over a blacked-out Dive pilot.
Clio felt the ship shudder. She pushed up on both elbows. “What’s going on, Doc?” Then, putting the situation together, swung off the bed, trying to find the floor with her feet.
Posie pushed her back down. “Just calm yourself, Clio.”
“Calm myself? I’m so calm I’m barely breathing. Is that the lander separating? They going ahead with the mission?”
Posie nodded.
“Jesus.”
“You don’t need to swear.”
“I didn’t swear, goddamn it.” Posie was so squeaky clean, in thought, word, and deed. “How long have I been out?”
“About ten hours.”
She swung her feet around again, ran into Posie’s thick hands gripping her shoulders, shoving her back onto the pallet.
“You’re not going anywhere, so lie still,” Posie said. He grabbed her arm harshly, pressing the blood-pressure band against her skin.
“Who says? I’m copilot on this ship, and I’m going to the bridge.”
Posie’s face zoomed down to fix her with a stare. “Captain says, Finn. So lie still or I’ll trank you good.” Posie’s hands were shaking, his face redder than usual.
“OK, don’t have a coronary.” She lay back down, deciding to try charm instead of push. “What’s the damage, Doc? I gotta know. I feel awful.” She worked her face into a knot of anxiety.
Posie sniffed, turned to put the pressure band in a drawer, drawing out the moment. “As much as I’ve heard, we’ve got a crunch starboard side as big as a bathtub. No cracks or leaks, but they’re still checking.”
“Still checking! Jesus Doc, we just launched the lander, and we don’t know the full damage to the ship yet? Has Russo lost her mind?”
Posie grabbed his clipboard, stalked to the medlab door. “You stay here and rest or the captain’ll chew you up for dinner, you copy Finn? She doesn’t want a pilot with the wobbles on the bridge.”
“Goddamn it Posie, you all wobble big time every freeping Dive!”
Posie glared at her and left, slamming the door.
Clio put her head in her hands, smelling her rank uniform, thinking what a mess, an unholy mess she’d made of the mission. A crew out in Babyhawk, and Starhawk crumpled up amidships, with maybe a lethal crack or systems damage. She heard the final separation of the lander, as it eased out of its position, where it had been nestled into the side of Starhawk, its shipside forming a seal against the launch bay opening. Then a rumble as the ship’s bay doors closed the gap left by Babyhawk.
God, I passed out, passed out in Dive. Rivulets of sweat ran down her sides as she let the thought sink in. God, oh God. Biotime would jerk her back so fast it’d make her head swim. She’d get her retirement real fast, the whole ex-Diver package, a lump sum and maybe a slot as a tech on Vanda Station, so she could hang out near the spacers and shoot the shit with the other old Divers. An unwelcome voice in her head summed it up: It’s 2019, you’re twenty-seven years old, and you’re finished, sister.
Or if they weren’t feeling generous, she’d go Earthside, and she didn’t want to think about that, oh no.
Then she noticed the bandage strip on her arm. Jesus, a blood draw. They’d taken her blood while she was passed out, a kind of medical rape. Anger stirred, propelling her off the pallet.
She combed every square inch of the medlab cold hatches. No blood sample. She started to go through the hatches a third time, stopped herself, sat on the bunk, holding herself and trying to stop shaking.
She punched up Hillis’ cabin on intercom. “Hill. I’m in medlab. I’m lonely.” In a tone of voice that said, I’m horny. You never knew who might be listening, so give them an earful, let them imagine Hillis and her together like a couple of rabbits. She had, many times.
“Come find out.”
“On my way.”
A few minutes later he swung into medlab, leaned against the door. He watched her, a half smile edging the side of his mouth. Hillis was lean without being thin, honed by a high-strung temperament. He was good-looking if you liked high foreheads, sharp features. Clio did. Built for speed was how she thought of Hillis. His wiry, light brown hair was cropped close, like all the crew’s, but still it was wavy, or maybe coiled. Bright blue eyes watching Clio with sardonic patience.
“They took a sample. While I was asleep, goddamn it.”
“What do you want me to do?’
“Find it. It’s not in here. I looked.”
He nodded. “OK, I’ll look around. Should be easy in all the confusion out there.”
“What confusion?”
“One of the launch bay doors is jammed.”
Stomach beginning to shred, awash in acid. “Jammed?”
“Dented from the collision, they figure.” Her face must have been easy to read. “Don’t worry, they’ll fix it.”
Clio was shaking hard by now. He drew her into his arms. “Those pills are poison, Clio.”
“It’s not the pills. Just scared to freeping death.”
“I’ll find the sample. Don’t worry.”
She called up a fairly steady smile. “Who’ll worry if I don’t?”
“Nobody. Nobody does it better than you.” He turned to go.
“I love you Hillis.”
He paused at the door. “I love you too. I’d hate to see you kill yourself with that shit.”
“I’m going to quit.”
Hillis looked at her a few moments. “We’re both outlaws, you know.”
“We’re only doing what we have to. I need Recon, Hill. I haven’t got anything else.”
“Those pills aren’t going to pull you through. Nobody lasts this long, Clio. Nobody lasts fifty-five Dives.”
“Shit. You’re counting too. Maybe I’m the exception, Hill, maybe I’ll last.” She flashed him a grin.
He shrugged. “Maybe you will.” Then he was gone.
Clio forced some food down and tried to sleep some more. She ended up lying on her bunk, eyes wide open, wondering how much trouble she was in and how to lie her way out.
Before her watch—way before—came a sharp command over the intercom: “Lieutenant Finn to the bridge, ASAP.”
Clio’s boots hit the deck. She tore out of her cabin, ran down the corridor, shaking the cobwebs out of her head, her heart pounding.
The captain and Teeg were intent on the monitors, the bluish light from the panels making their faces look sickly.
Russo’s voice was raspy. “Babyhawk’s turned around, Lieutenant. Aborting mission; we got casualties.”
Casualties. God. Clio slid into her chair.
“Helm to you, Finn. Teeg, get off the bridge. You’re too damn tired.”
He nodded, mock-bowing at Clio, and raking her with those hungry eyes, before swinging himself down the ladder.
“Captain, what’s the situation with Babyhawk?” Clio was buckling in, noting the approach of the lander, moving in on Starhawk.
“An explosion. An hour out toward Crippen. We don’t know for sure, but we think there was a leak in a fuel transport line. Got touched off by an electrical spark. Three wounded, sounds like critically. And the bay door is still jammed half open.”
The nightmare continued, everything going wrong. Then there was Shaw, Babyhawk’s pilot, on comm, moving into docking range.
“Hold your position, Babyhawk,” Clio told Shaw, “we have a little delay here.”
Russo was on the comm, getting tech reports; growling at bad news, barking something about the teleoperator maneuvering system, in case they needed to work on the ship surface. Which techs were saying wasn’t needed.
Shaw’s voice came crackling into Clio’s ears. “You just get your little delay greased up and dumped out, Lieutenant, I got casualties here, and they’re getting real quiet. You copy?”
“Roger. We are jumping on it, Commander. We’re gonna bring you in.”
The earphones crackled again. “You’re going to bring us in? That’s real good news, Starhawk, now I can sleep. What’s the goddamn problem out there, Finn? Over.”
The captain nodded at her, and Clio answered, “The bay doors won’t respond, Babyhawk. We’re working it. Another five minutes and I’m going out there and rip the damn things open with a crowbar.”
Faintly, Babyhawk responded. “My God.” Then: “I got a man dying here, Starhawk. Cut the damn doors off, if you have to.”
Clio looked to Russo, got a slow shake of the head.
“Negative, Babyhawk, that’s last resort. We’re working this. Stand by.”
Nothing then from Shaw. Clio felt the silence like a fist in her gut.
An hour later they cut the door off after all, with crew hating to use torches, suited up as they were in the unpressurized landing bay. Then Babyhawk locked on, and they hauled out the casualties. One man dead, Lieutenant Runnel printed on the breast pocket: a helpful clue since most of his face was blackened with burns. Two biotechs burned real bad, one of them with blisters for eyes, both unconscious. Posie took charge of them, looking like a man in way over his head.
Hillis was there, too. Leaned close to Clio, whispered, “I dumped the blood. It’s gone.”
Heading home, Clio got Starhawk well into Dive, then sat by the two wounded men in medlab. She was patched in by remote to bridge control, listening for any alarms, half hoping for some.
Clio watched the life leak out of her two crewmates. In Dive, you saw things like that. Life exiting like spilled water.
If you die on a Space Recon Dive, deep in the past, the event doesn’t set up a paradox. No one in the present is affected. Your children, for instance, don’t disappear. Of course, Diving in inhabited space could produce dangerous paradoxes. Anything that you changed would set other changes in motion, in geometric progression, ultimately threatening the very future from which you came. But in the wilderness of space, the Dive was ninety-nine percent safe from encountering human history, from creating paradoxes. So the theory went.
Clio kept her deathwatch. When her crewmates’ faces were dim as the pallets they lay on, Clio knew they were dead.