CHAPTER 7
The big and beautiful Greyhound bus was pulled in
under the loading shed at San Ysidro. Helpers put gasoline into the
tank and checked the oil and the tires automatically. The whole
system worked smoothly. A colored man cleaned between the seats,
brushing the cushions and picking up gum wrappers and matches and
cigarette butts from the floor. He ran his fingers behind the last
seat, which stretched across the rear. Sometimes he found coins or
pocketknives behind this seat. Loose money he kept, but most other
articles he turned in to the office. People made an awful stink
about things they left, but not about small change. Sometimes the
swamper managed as much as a couple of dollars behind that seat.
Today he had dug out two dimes, a fifty-cent piece, and a
hip-pocket wallet with a draft card, driver’s license, and a Lions
Club1 membership card.
He glanced inside the bill section. Two
fifty-dollar bills and a certified check for five-hundred dollars.
He put the wallet in his shirt pocket and brushed the seat with his
whisk broom. He breathed a little hard. The money was easy. He
could take it out and leave the wallet behind the seat for some
other swamper to find down the line. The check would be left too.
There was too much danger in checks. But those two sweet
fifties—those sweet, sweet fifties! His throat was tight and would
be until he got those sweet fifties out and the wallet behind the
seat.
But he couldn’t get to them because the punk kid
was washing the outside of the windows where they were splashed
with dirty mist from the highway. The swamper had to wait. If they
caught him they’d put him away.
There was a little rip in the cuff of his blue
serge trousers. He figured he would slip those two sweet fifties in
there, inside the cuff, before he got off the bus. Then he’d get
sick before he went off the job. He’d be sick, all right. Like
enough he wouldn’t be back for a week. If he got sick on the job
and still stayed out the day till quitting time, they wouldn’t
figure anything if he didn’t show up for a few days and it would
save his job. He heard a step on the bus and stiffened a little.
Louie, the driver, looked in.
“Hi, George,” he said. “Say, did you find a wallet?
Guy says he lost it.”
George mumbled.
“Well, I’ll come back and look,” said Louie.
George swung around, still on his knees. “I found
it,” he said. “I was going to turn it in as soon as I
finished.”
“Yeah?” said Louie. He took the wallet from
George’s hand and opened it. The punk kid looked in through the
window. Louie smiled sorrowfully at George and flicked his eyes
toward the punk.
“Too bad, George,” Louie said. “I guess they’ve got
’em stacked against us. Two fifties the guy said and two fifties it
is.” He pulled out the bills and the check so the punk looking
through the window could see them. “Better luck next time, George,”
Louie said.
“Suppose the guy pays a reward,” said George.
“You’ll get half,” said Louie. “If it’s under a
buck, you’ll get it all.”
Louie moved out of the bus and into the waiting
room. He handed the wallet in at the desk.
“George found it. He was just bringing it in,” said
Louie. “That’s a good nigger.”
Louie knew the wallet’s owner was right beside him
so he said to the cashier, “If it was me that lost this, I’d give
George a nice little present. Nothing don’t turn a guy bad like no
appreciation. I remember a guy found a grand and he turned it in
and he didn’t even get a thank-you. The next thing you know he
robbed a bank and killed a coupla guards.” Louie lied easily and
without strain.
“How many going south?” Louie asked.
“You’re full up,” said the clerk. “You got one for
Rebel Corners, and don’t forget the pies like you did last week. I
never had so much trouble with fifty pies in my life. Here’s your
wallet, sir. Will you inspect it to see if it’s all right?”
The owner paid a five-dollar reward. Louie figured
to give George a buck sometime. He knew George wouldn’t believe
him, but what the hell. It was a stinker’s game and a muddy track.
Everybody had to take his chance. Louie was big, a little on the
stout side, but a dresser. His party friends called him
“meat-face.” He had a fast line and was smart and liked to be known
as a horse player. He called race horses dogs and spoke of all
situations as parlays. He would have liked to be Bob Hope or,
better, Bing Crosby.2
Louie saw George looking in from the loading
platform doors. An impulse of generosity seized him. He walked over
and gave George a dollar bill. “Cheap son of a bitch!” he said.
“Here, you take the buck. Over five-hundred dollars he gets back
and he puts out a buck!”
George looked into Louie’s face, just one quick,
brown flash of the eyes. He knew it was a lie and he knew there
wasn’t anything he could do about it. If Louie was mad at him he
could make it tough. And George had wanted that drunk. He had
almost felt the liquor take hold of him. If only that punk kid had
kept his big nose out of it.
“Thanks,” said George.
The kid went by with his bucket and sponge. George
said, “You call those windows clean?” And Louie made it up to
George. He said to the kid, “You want to get any place, you better
get on the ball. Those windows stink. Do them again.”
“I ain’t taking orders from you. I’ll wait till I
get some kind of complaints from the super.”
Louie and George exchanged glances. It was just a
punk. In less than a week he’d be out on his ass if Louie thought
of it.
The big Greyhounds came in and out of the covered
loading shed heavy and high as houses. The drivers slipped them
smoothly and beautifully into place. The station smelled of oil and
diesel exhaust fumes and candy bars and a powerful floor cleaner
that got in the nose.
Louie went back toward the front. His eyes had
caught a girl coming in from the street. She was carrying a
suitcase. All in one flash Louie caught her. A dish! A dish like
that he wanted to ride in a seat just behind his own raised
driver’s chair. He could watch her in the rear-view mirror and find
out about her. Maybe she lived somewhere on his route. Louie had
plenty of adventures that started like this.
The light from the street was behind the girl so he
couldn’t see her face, but he knew she was a looker. And he didn’t
know how he knew it. There might have been fifty girls come in with
a light behind them. But how did he know this one was a looker? He
could see a nice figure and pretty legs. But in some subtle way
this girl smelled of sex.
He saw that she had carried her suitcase over to
the ticket window so he did not go directly toward her. He went
into the washroom. And there he stood at the wash basin and dipped
his hands in water and ran them through his hair. From his side
pocket he took a little comb and combed his hair back smoothly and
patted it behind where the suggestion of a duck tail stood out. And
he combed his mustache, not that it needed combing for it was very
short. He settled his gray corduroy jacket, tightened the belt, and
pulled his stomach in a little bit.
He put the comb back in his pocket and inspected
himself again in the mirror. He ran his hand over the sides of his
hair. He felt behind to see that no strands were out and that the
duck tail was lying down. He straightened his regulation black
ready-made bow tie and he took a few grains of sen-sen out of his
inner shirt pocket and threw them in his mouth. And then he seemed
to shake himself down in his coat.
Just as his right hand went to the brass knob of
the washroom door, Louie’s left hand flipped fingers up and down
his fly to be sure he was buttoned up. He put on his face a little
crooked smile, half worldliness and half naïveté, an expression
that had been successful with him. Louie had read someplace that if
you looked directly into a girl’s eyes and smiled it had an effect.
You must look at her as though she were not only the most beautiful
thing in the world, but you must keep looking into her eyes until
she looked away. There was another trick too. If it bothered you to
look into people’s eyes, you should look at a point on the bridge
of the nose right between the eyes. To the person looked at it
appeared that you were looking into the eyes, only you weren’t.
Louie had found this a very successful approach.
Nearly all his waking hours Louie thought about
girls. He liked to outrage them. He liked to have them fall in love
with him and then walk away. He called them pigs. “I’ll get a pig,”
he would say, “and you get a pig, and we’ll go out on the
town.”
He stepped through the door of the washroom with a
kind of lordliness, and then had to back up because two men came
down between the benches carrying a long crate with slats to let
air in. The side of the crate said in large white letters MOTHER
MAHONEY’S HOME-BAKED PIES. The two men went in front of Louie and
through to the loading platform.
The girl was sitting on a bench now, her suitcase
beside her on the floor. As he moved across the room Louie took a
quick look at her legs and then caught her eyes and held them as he
walked. He smiled his crooked smile and moved toward her. She
looked back at him, unsmiling, and then moved her eyes away.
Louie was disappointed. She hadn’t been embarrassed
as she should have been. She had simply lost interest in him. And
she was a looker too—fine well-filled legs with rounded thighs and
no stomach whatever and large breasts which she made the most of.
She was a blonde and her hair was coarse and a little broken at the
ends from a too-hot iron, but well-brushed hair that had good
lights in it and a long, curling bob that Louie liked. Her eyes
were made up with blue eyeshadow and some cold cream on the eyelids
and plenty of mascara on the lashes. No rouge, but a splash of
lipstick that was put on to make her mouth look square, like some
of the picture stars. She wore a suit, a tight skirt and a jacket
with a round collar. Her shoes were tan saddle-leather with white
stitching. Not only a looker but a dresser. And the stuff looked
good.
Louie studied her face as he walked. He had a
feeling that he had seen her someplace before. But then, she might
look like someone he knew, or he might have seen her in a movie.
That had happened. Her eyes were wide set, almost abnormally
wide-set, and they were blue with little brown specks in them and
with strongly marked dark lines from the pupil to the outer edge of
the iris. Her eyebrows were plucked and penciled in a high arch so
that she looked a little surprised. Louie noticed that her gloved
hands were not restless. She was not impatient nor nervous, and
this bothered him. He was afraid of self-possession, and he did
feel that he had seen her somewhere. Her knees were well-covered
with flesh, not bony, and she kept her skirt down without pulling
at it.
As he strolled by Louie punished her for looking
away from his eyes by staring at her legs. This usually had the
effect of making a girl pull down her skirt, even if it was not too
high, but it hadn’t any effect on this girl. Her failure to react
to his art made him uneasy. Probably a hustler, he said to himself.
Probably a two-dollar hustler. And then he laughed at himself. Not
two dollars with that stuff she’s wearing.
Louie went on to the ticket window and smiled his
sardonic smile at Edgar, the ticket clerk. Edgar admired Louie. He
wished he could be like him.
“Where’s the pig going?” Louie asked.
“Pig?”>
“Yeah. The broad. The blonde.”
“Oh, yes.” Edgar exchanged a secret man-look with
Louie. “South,” he said.
“In my wagon?”
“Yeah.”
Louie tapped the counter with his fingers. He had
let the little fingernail on his left hand grow very long. It was
curved, like half a tube, and sanded to a shallow point. Louie
didn’t know why he did this, but he was gratified to notice that
some of the other bus drivers were letting their little fingernails
grow too. Louie was setting a style and he felt good about it.
There was that cab driver who had tied a raccoon’s tail on his
radiator cap and right overnight everybody had to have a piece of
fur flapping in the breeze. Furriers made artificial fox tails, and
high-school kids wouldn’t be seen in a car without a tail whipping
around. And that cab driver could sit back and have the
satisfaction of knowing he had started the whole thing. Louie had
been letting his little fingernail grow for five months and already
he’d seen five or six other people doing it. It might sweep the
country, and Louie would have started the whole thing.
He tapped the counter with the long, curved nail,
but gently, because when a nail gets that long it breaks easily.
Edgar looked at the nail. He kept his left hand below the counter.
He was growing one too, but it wasn’t very long yet, and he didn’t
want Louie to see it until it was much longer. Edgar’s nails were
brittle, and he had to put colorless nail polish on his to keep it
from breaking right off. Even in bed it broke once. Edgar glanced
toward the girl.
“Figure to make some time with the—pig?”
“No harm trying,” said Louie. “Probably a
hustler.”
“Well, what’s wrong with a good hustler?” Edgar’s
eyes flicked up. The girl had recrossed her legs.
“Louie,” he said apologetically, “before I forget,
you’d better see to the loading of that crate of pies yourself. We
had a complaint last week. Someplace along the line somebody
dropped the crate and a raspberry pie got all mixed up with a lemon
pie and there was raisins all over hell. We had to pay the
claim.”
“It never happened on my run,” said Louie
truculently. “It goes to San Juan, don’t it? That jerk line from
Rebel Corners done it.”
“Well, we paid the claim,” said Edgar. “Just kind
of check it, will you?”
“There wasn’t no pies dropped on my run,” Louie
said dangerously.
“I know. I know you didn’t. But the front office
told me to tell you to check it.”
“Why don’t they come to me?” Louie demanded. “They
got complaints, why don’t they call me up instead of sending
messages?” He tended his anger as he would a fire. But he was angry
at the blonde. The god-damned hustler. He looked up at the big
clock on the wall. A hand two feet long jerked seconds around the
dial, and in the reflection of the glass Louie could see the girl
sitting with crossed legs. Although he couldn’t be sure because of
the curve of the glass, he thought she was looking at the back of
his head. His anger melted away.
“I’ll check the pies,” he said. “Tell them there
won’t be any raspberries in the lemon pie. I guess I’ll make a
little time with the pig.” He saw the admiration in Edgar’s eyes as
he turned slowly and faced the waiting room.
He was right. She had been looking at the back of
his head, and when he was turned she was looking in his face. There
was no interest, no nothing, in her glance. But she had beautiful
eyes, he thought. God-damn, she was a looker! Louie had read in a
magazine that wide-set eyes meant sexiness, and there was no doubt
that this girl put out a strong, strong feeling of sex. She was the
kind of girl everybody watched walk by. Why, she walked in a place
and everybody turned and looked at her. You could see their heads
turn, like watching a horse race. It was something about her, and
it wasn’t make-up and it wasn’t the way she walked, although that
was part of it too. Whatever it was, it projected all around her.
Louie had felt it when she came in from the street and the light
was behind her so he couldn’t really see her then. And now she was
looking in Louie’s face, not smiling, not putting out anything,
just looking, and he still felt it. A tightness came into his
throat and a little flush rose out of his collar. He knew that in a
moment his glance would slide away. Edgar was waiting, and Edgar
had faith in Louie.
There were a few lies in Louie’s reputation but
actually he did have a way, he did make time with pigs. Only now he
wasn’t easy. This pig was getting him down. He wanted to slap her
face with his open hand. His breath was rising painfully in his
chest. The moment was going to be over unless he did something. He
could see the dark raylike lines in her irises and the fullness of
her jowls. He put on his embracing look. His eyes widened a little
and he smiled as though he had suddenly recognized her. At the same
time he moved toward her.
Carefully he made his smile a little respectful.
Her eyes held onto his, and a little of the coldness went out of
them. He stepped near to her. “Man says you’re going south on my
bus, ma’am,” he said. He almost laughed at that “ma’am,” but it
usually worked. It worked with this girl. She smiled a
little.
“I’ll take care of your bag,” Louie went on. “We
leave in about three minutes.”
“Thanks,” said the girl. Her voice was throaty and
sexy, Louie thought.
“Let me take your suitcase. I’ll put it on now and
then you’ll have a seat.”
“It’s heavy,” said the girl.
“I ain’t exactly a midget,” said Louie. He picked
up her suitcase and walked quickly out to the loading platform. He
climbed into the bus and put the suitcase down in front of the seat
that was right behind his seat. He could watch the girl in his
mirror and he could talk to her some when they got rolling. He came
out of the bus and saw the punk and another swamper putting the
crate of pies on top of the bus.
“Careful of that stuff,” Louie said loudly. “You
bastards dropped one last week and I got the beef.”
“I never dropped nothing,” said the punk.
“The hell you didn’t,” said Louie. “You watch your
step.” He went through the swinging doors to the waiting
room.
“What’s eating him?” the other swamper asked.
“Oh, I sort of jammed him up,” said the punk. “The
nigger found a wallet and I seen it, so they figured they got to
turn it in. It was a big roll of jack too. They’re both sore at me
’cause I seen it. Louie and that nigger was gonna split them up a
coupla half centuries and I guess I jammed it for ’em. Course they
had to turn it in when they seen I saw ’em.”
“I could use some of that,” said the swamper.
“Who couldn’t,” said the punk.
“I can take me a century and I can go out and I can
get very nice stuff for that there.” They went on for a time with
ritual talk.
In the waiting room there was a little burst of
activity. The crowd for the southbound bus was beginning to
collect. Edgar was busy behind the counter, but not too busy to
keep his eye on the girl. “A pig,” he said under his breath. It was
a new word to him. From now on he would use it. He glanced at the
little fingernail on his left hand. It would be long before he
would have as good a one as Louie’s. But why kid himself? He
couldn’t make time like Louie anyway. He always ended up by going
down the line.
There was a last-minute flurry of customers at the
candy counter, at the peanut vending machines, at the gum
dispensers. A Chinaman bought copies of Time and
Newsweek3 and rolled them carefully together
and put them in his black broadcloth overcoat pocket. An old lady
restlessly turned over magazines on the newsstand without any
intention of buying one. Two Hindus with gleaming white turbans and
shining black curly beards stood side by side at the ticket window.
They glanced fiercely about as they tried to make themselves
understood.
Louie stood by the entrance to the loading platform
and glanced continually at the girl. He noticed that every man in
the room was doing the same thing. All of them were watching her
secretly, and they didn’t want to get caught at it. He turned and
looked through the swinging glass doors and saw that the punk and
the swamper had got the crate of pies safely on top of the bus and
the tarpaulin pulled down over it. The light in the waiting room
dimmed to dusk. A cloud must have covered the sun. And then the
light rose again as though controlled by a rheostat. The big bell
over the glass doors clamored. Louie looked at his watch and went
through the door to his big bus. And the passengers in the waiting
room got up and shuffled toward the door.
Edgar was still trying to make out where the Hindus
wanted to go. “The god-damned rag heads,” he said to himself.
“Why’nt they learn English before they start running around?”
Louie climbed into the high seat enclosed by a
stainless steel bar and glanced at the tickets as the passengers
got on. The Chinaman in the dark coat went directly to the back
seat, took off his coat, and laid the Time and
Newsweek in his lap. The old lady clambered breathlessly up
the step and sat down in the seat directly behind Louie.
He said, “I’m sorry, ma’am, that seat’s
taken.”
“What do you mean, taken?” she said belligerently.
“There aren’t any reserved seats.”
“That seat’s taken, ma’am,” Louie repeated. “Don’t
you see the suitcase beside it?” He hated old women. They
frightened him. There was a smell about them that gave him the
willies. They were fierce and they had no pride. They never gave a
damn about making a scene. They got what they wanted. Louie’s
grandmother had been a tyrant. She had got whatever she wanted by
being fierce. From the corners of his eyes he saw the girl on the
lower step of the bus, waiting behind the Hindus to get in. He was
pushed into a spot. Suddenly he was angry.
“Ma’am,” he said, “I’m the boss on my bus. There’s
plenty of good seats. Now will you move back?”
The old woman set her chin and scowled at him. She
switched her behind a little, settling into the seat. “You’ve got
that girl in this seat, that’s what you’ve got,” she said. “I’ve
got a mind to report you to the management.”
Louie blew up. “All right, ma’am. You just get out
and report me. The company’s got lots of passengers, but it hasn’t
got many good drivers.” He saw that the girl was listening, and he
felt pretty good about it.
The old woman saw that he was angry. “I’m going to
report you,” she said.
“Well, report me then. You can get off the bus,”
Louie said loudly, “but you’re not going to sit in that seat. The
passenger in that seat got a doctor’s order.”
It was an out, and the old woman took it. “Why
didn’t you say so?” she said. “I’m not unreasonable. But I’m still
going to report you for discourtesy.”
“All right, ma’am,” Louie said wearily. “That I’m
used to.”
The old woman moved back one seat.
“Going to hang out her big ear and catch me off
base,” Louie thought. “Well, let her. We got more passengers than
drivers.” The girl was beside him now, holding out her ticket.
Involuntarily Louie said, “You only going as far as the
Corners?”
“I know, I’ve got to change,” said the girl. She
smiled at his tone of disappointment.
“That’s your seat right there,” he said. He watched
the mirror while she sat down and crossed her legs and pulled down
her skirt and put her purse beside her. She straightened her
shoulders and fixed the collar of her suit.
She knew Louie was watching every move. It had
always been that way with her. She knew she was different from
other girls, but she didn’t quite know how. In some ways it was
nice always to get the best seat, to have your lunches bought for
you, to have a hand on your arm crossing the street. Men couldn’t
keep their hands off her. But there was always the trouble. She had
to argue or cajole or insult or fight her way out. All men wanted
the same thing from her, and that was just the way it was. She took
it for granted and it was true.
When she’d been young she’d suffered from it. There
had been a sense of guilt and of nastiness. But now she was older
she just accepted it and developed her techniques. Sometimes she
gave in and sometimes she got money or clothes. She knew most of
the approaches. She could probably have foretold everything Louie
would do or say in the next half hour. By anticipating, she could
sometimes stave off unpleasantness. Older men wanted to help her,
put her in school or on the stage. Some young men wanted to marry
her or protect her. And a few, a very few, openly and honestly
simply wanted to go to bed with her and told her so.
These were the easiest because she could say yes or
no and get it over with. What she hated most about her gift, or her
failing, was the fighting that went on. Men fought each other
viciously when she was about. They fought like terriers, and she
sometimes wished that women could like her, but they didn’t. And
she was intelligent. She knew why, but there wasn’t anything she
could do about it. What she really wanted was a nice house in a
nice town, two children, and a stairway to stand on. She would be
nicely dressed and people would be coming to dinner. She’d have a
husband, of course, but she couldn’t see him in her picture because
the advertising in the women’s magazines from which her dream came
never included a man. Just a lovely woman in nice clothes coming
down the stairs and guests in the dining room and candles and a
dark wood dining table and clean children to kiss good night.
That’s what she really wanted. And she knew as well as anything
that that was not what she would ever get.
There was a great deal of sadness in her. She
wondered about other women. Were they different in bed than she
was? She knew from watching that men didn’t react to most women the
way they did to her. Her sexual impulses were not terribly strong
nor very constant, but she didn’t know about other women. They
never discussed this kind of thing with her. They didn’t like her.
Once the young doctor to whom she had gone to try to have the pain
of her periods relaxed had made a pass at her, and when she had
talked him out of that he had told her, “You just put it out in the
air. I don’t know how, but you do it. Some women are like that,” he
said. “Thank God there aren’t many of them or a man would go
nuts.”
She tried wearing severe clothes, but that didn’t
help much. She couldn’t keep an ordinary job. She learned to type,
but offices went to pieces when she was hired. And now she had a
racket. It paid well and it didn’t get her in much trouble. She
took off her clothes at stags.4 A regular agency handled her. She
didn’t understand stags or what satisfaction the men got out of
them, but there they were, and she made fifty dollars for taking
off her clothes and that was better than having them torn off in an
office. She’d even read up on nymphomania, enough, anyway, to know
that she didn’t have it. She almost wished she had. Sometimes she
thought she’d just go into a house and make a pile of dough and
retire to the country—that, or marry an elderly man she could
control. It would be the easiest way. Young men who were attractive
to her had a way of turning nasty. They always suspected her of
cheating them. They either sulked or tried to beat her up or they
got furious and threw her out.
She’d tried being kept and that was the way it
ended. But an old man with some money—that might be the way. And
she would be good to him. She’d really make it worth his money and
his time. She had only two girl friends, and both of them were
house girls. They seemed to be the only kind who weren’t jealous of
her and who didn’t resent her. But one was out of the country now.
She didn’t know where. She followed troops somewhere. And the other
was living with an advertising man and didn’t want her
around.
That was Loraine. They had had an apartment
together. Loraine didn’t care much about men; still, she didn’t go
for women. But then Loraine got caught short with this advertising
man and asked her to move out. Loraine explained everything when
she told her not to come around.
Loraine was working in a house and this advertising
man fell for her. Well, Loraine had got gonorrhea, and before she
even had a symptom she gave it to this advertising man. He was a
nervous type and he blew his top and lost his job and came
bellyaching to Loraine. She felt responsible in a way so she took
him in and fed him while they both got cured. That was before the
new treatment,5 and it had been pretty rough.
And then this advertising man went on a
sleeping-pill pitch. She’d find him passed out and he was pretty
vague, and his temper was bad unless he had his pills, and he took
more and more of them. Twice Loraine had to have him pumped
out.
Loraine was a really good girl and things were hard
because she couldn’t work in the house until she was cleared up.
She didn’t want to infect anybody she knew, and still she had to
have money for doctor’s bills and rent and food. She had to work
the streets in Glendale to make it, and she wasn’t feeling good
herself. And then, with everything else, the advertising man turned
jealous and didn’t want her to work at all in spite of the fact
that he didn’t have a job. It would be nice if the whole thing had
blown over by now and she and Loraine could have the apartment
together. They had been a good pair together. They had had fun,
good, quiet fun.
There had been a whole series of conventions in
Chicago and she had saved some money from the stags. She was taking
busses back to Los Angeles to save money. She wanted to live
quietly a while. She hadn’t heard from Loraine for a long time. The
last letter said this advertising man was reading her mail so not
to write.
The last passengers were coming through the doors
and getting into the bus.
Louie had his legs crossed. He was a little timid
with this girl. “I see you’re going to L.A.,” he said. “Do you live
there?”
“Part of the time.”
“I like to try and figure people out,” he said. “A
guy like me sees so many people.”
The motor of the bus breathed softly. The old woman
was glaring at Louie. He could see her in the mirror. She would
probably write a letter to the company.
“Well,” Louie said to himself, “the hell with the
company.” He could always get a job. The company didn’t pay much
attention to old ladies’ letters anyway. He glanced back down the
bus. It looked like the two Hindus were holding hands. The Chinaman
had both Time and Newsweek open on his lap and he was
comparing stories. His head swung from one magazine to the other,
and a puzzled wrinkle marked his nose between his brows. The
dispatcher waved at Louie.
Louie swung the lever that closed the door. He
eased his gear into compound-reverse and crept out of the concrete
slip, then swung delicately and wide so that his front fender
cleared the north wall by a part of an inch. He swung wide again in
compound-low and cleared the other side of the alley by a fraction
of an inch. At the entrance to the street from the alley he stopped
and saw that the street was clear for him. He turned the bus and it
took him over to the other side of the street. Louie was a good
driver with a perfect record. The bus moved down the main street of
San Ysidro and came to the outskirts and to the open highway.
The sky and the sun were washed and clean. The
colors were sharp. The ditches ran full of water; and in some
places, where the ditches were clogged, the water extended out onto
the highway. The bus hit this water with a great swish, and Louie
could feel the tug at the wheel. The grass was matted down from the
force of the rain, but now the warmth of the sun was putting
strength into the rich grass and it was beginning to rise up again
on the high places.
Louie glanced in the rear-view mirror at the girl
again. She was looking at the back of his head. But something made
her look up at the mirror and right into Louie’s eyes, and the eyes
with their dark lines and the straight, pretty nose and the mouth
painted on square photographed permanently in Louie’s brain. When
she looked into his eyes she smiled as though she felt good.
Louie knew that his throat was closing, and a
rising pressure was in his chest. He thought he must be nuts. He
knew he was shy, but mostly he convinced himself that he was not,
and he was going through all the symptoms of a sixteen-year-old.
His eyes flicked from road to mirror, back and forth. He could see
that his cheeks were red. “What the hell is this?” he said to
himself. “Am I going to go ga-ga over a chippie?” He looked at her
more closely to find some thought to save himself, and then he saw
deep forceps marks along her jaws. That made him feel more
comfortable. She wouldn’t be so god-damned confident if she knew he
saw the forceps marks. Forty-two miles. The figures came into his
head. She’d get off in forty-two miles. Louie would have to make
time. He couldn’t waste a minute if he wanted to throw a line over
this little hustler. And when he tried to speak his voice was
hoarse.
She leaned close behind him. “I couldn’t hear you,”
she said.
Louie coughed. “I said the country looks nice after
the rain.”
“Yes, it does.”
He tried to get back to his usual opening. He
noticed in the mirror that she was still leaning forward to
listen.
“Like I said,” he began, “I try to figure people
out. I’d say you was in the movies or on the stage.”
“No,” said the girl. “You’d be wrong.”
“Aren’t you in show business?”
“No.”
“Well, do you work?”
She laughed, and her face was very charming when
she laughed. But Louie noticed that one of her upper front teeth
was crooked. It leaned over and interfered with its neighbor. Her
laughter stopped and her upper lip covered the tooth. “Conscious of
it,” Louie thought.
She was ahead of him. She knew what he was going to
say. It had happened so many times before. He was going to try to
find out where she lived. He wanted her telephone number. It was
simple. She didn’t live anywhere. She had a trunk stored with
Loraine with some books in it—Captain Hornblower,6 and a Life of Beethoven,7 and some paper books of the short
stories of Saroyan,8 and some old evening dresses to be made
over. She knew Louie was having trouble. She knew that blush that
rose out of a man’s collar and the thickness of labored speech. She
saw Louie glance apprehensively in the mirror at the rear of the
bus.
The Hindus were smiling a little at each other. The
Chinaman was staring up in the air, trying to work up in his mind
some discrepancy in the stories he had been reading. A Greek in the
rear seat was cutting an Italian cigar in two with a pocketknife.
He put one piece in his mouth and thoughtfully placed the other
half in his breast pocket. The old woman was working herself up
into a rage at Louie. She directed an iron look at the back of his
head, and her chin quivered with fury and her lips were white with
the tension of their compression.
The girl leaned forward again. “I’ll save you
time,” she said. “I’m a dental nurse. You know, I do all those
things in a dentist’s office.” She often used this. She didn’t know
why. Perhaps because it stopped speculation and there were never
any more questions after she said it. People didn’t want to talk
much about dentistry.
Louie digested this. The bus came to a railroad
crossing. Automatically Louie set his air brakes and stopped. The
brakes hissed as he released them and went through the gears to
cruising speed again. He sensed that things were closing in on him.
The old bitch was going to start trouble any minute now. He didn’t
have forty-two miles at all. Once the old bitch put in her oar the
thing would be over. He wanted to make time while he could, but it
was too soon according to Louie’s methods. He shouldn’t make a play
for a good half hour, but the old bitch was going to force his
hand.
“Sometimes I get into L.A.,” he said. “Is there
someplace I could call you and maybe we could—have dinner and go to
a show?”
She was friendly about it. There wasn’t anything
mean or bitchy about her. She said, “I don’t know. You see, I
haven’t any place to live now. I’ve been away. I want to get an
apartment as soon as I can.”
“But you work someplace,” said Louie. “Maybe I
could call you there.”
The old woman was squirming and twitching in her
seat. She was mad because Louie had kicked her out of the front
seat.
“Well, no,” said the girl. “You see, I haven’t got
a job. Of course, I’ll get one right away because you can always
get a job in my profession.”
“This isn’t a brush-off ?” Louie asked.
“No.”
“Well, maybe you could drop me a line when you get
settled.”
“Maybe.”
“Because I’d like to know someone to take out in
L.A.”
And now here it came, the voice as shrill as a
whetstone. “There’s a state law about talking to passengers. You
watch the road.” The old woman addressed the whole bus. “This
driver’s putting our lives in danger. I’m going to ask to get off
if he can’t keep his attention on his driving.”
Louie closed up. This was serious. She really could
make trouble. He looked in the mirror and found the girl’s eyes.
With his lips he said, “The god-damned dried up old bitch!”
The girl smiled and put her fingers to her lips. In
a way she was relieved and in another she was sorry. She knew that
sooner or later she would have trouble with Louie. But she also
knew that in many ways he was a nice guy and one she could handle
up to a certain point. She knew from his blush that she could
probably stop him by hurting his feelings.
But it was over and Louie knew it. The girl wasn’t
going to get herself in a mess. He had to make time while the bus
was rolling. He knew that. Once you got to a station the passengers
wanted out as quick as possible. Now he’d lost out. At Rebel
Corners he would stop only long enough to let her off and unload
that god-damned crate of pies. He hunched over the wheel. The girl
had folded her hands in her lap and her eyes would not raise to
meet his in the mirror. There were lots of girls prettier than this
one. Those forceps scars were damned ugly. They’d give a guy the
shivers. Of course, she wore her hair long and forward to cover
them. A girl like that couldn’t wear her hair up. Louie liked hair
up and, Jesus! suppose you woke up in bed and saw those scars.
There were plenty of pigs in the world and Louie could get along.
But in his chest and his stomach there was a weight of sorrow. He
fought at it and picked at it but it wouldn’t move. He wanted this
girl more than he had ever wanted anyone, and in a different way.
He felt a dry and grainy sense of loss. He didn’t even know her
name, and now he wouldn’t get to know her. He could see Edgar’s
eager eyes questioning him when he came back to San Ysidro. Louie
wondered if he would lie to Edgar.
The great tires sang on the road, a high, twanging
song, and the motor throbbed with a heavy beat. There were big,
wet, floppy clouds in the sky, dark as soot in the middle and white
and shining on the edges. One of them was creeping up on the sun
now. Already, ahead on the highway, Louie could see the shadow of
it rushing toward the bus, and far ahead on the highway he could
see the towering green mound of the oaks that grew about the
lunchroom at Rebel Corners. He was filled with
disappointment.
Juan Chicoy came to the side of the bus as it
pulled in.
“What you got for me?” he asked as the door
opened.
“One passenger and a flock of pies,” said Louie. He
got up from his seat, reached around, and lifted the girl’s
suitcase. He climbed down to the ground and held up his hands, and
the girl put her hands on his arms and stepped down. They walked
toward the lunchroom.
“Good-by,” she said.
“Good-by,” said Louie. He watched her go through
the door, her little behind bobbing up and down.
Juan and Pimples had the crate of pies off the top
of the bus. Louie climbed back into the bus.
“So long,” said Juan.
The old woman had moved up into the front seat.
Louie levered the door shut. He went into gear and moved away. When
he was in cruising speed and the tires were ringing on the highway,
he looked in the mirror. The old woman wore a look of mean
triumph.
“You killed it,” Louie said to himself. “Oh, you
murdered it.”
The woman looked up and caught his eyes in the
mirror. Deliberately Louie made silent words with his lips. “You
god damned old bitch!” He saw her lips grow tight and white. She
knew what he meant.
The highway sang along ahead of the bus.