55
BENNY, NIX, J-DOG, AND DR. SKILLZ STOOD IN THE ROAD AND WATCHED the three zoms shuffle toward them. Sister Shanti was out in front, with Brother David and Sister Sarah close behind. They were still sixty yards away.
“They’re still moving slow,” said Benny. “Not like the ones from the barn.”
“Totally,” agreed J-Dog.
Benny looked at him. “So how come the others were fast? I never heard of fast zoms before. Have you?”
“Tall tales out of the east,” said Dr. Skillz. “No one I know’s put goggles on ’em, though.”
“That’s crazy. How can zoms be fast?” demanded Nix.
J-Dog grinned. “Dudette … how can they be zoms?”
Dr. Skillz pulled down his sunglasses and peered over the dark lenses at the monk and the sisters. “That’s a bummer. Brother David’s trippy but totally boglius.”
“I can’t understand anything you’re saying!” grumbled Nix irritably.
“Yeah, okay,” Dr. Skillz chuckled, “busted. Let’s see if you grok this. The Dog and me are friends with Brother Dave. Between you and me, cutie, I think Dog’s sweet on Shanti.”
“She’s bootylicious—,” began J-Dog.
“English,” insisted Nix.
“She’s fine.” Then J-Dog looked down the hill, and his goofy surfer grin drained away to reveal genuine sadness. “She was fine. Sweet, too.”
“They were friends of ours,” said Dr. Skillz. Benny caught a look in his eyes that was miles from the sun and fun of a beach. In that unguarded moment, he could see the hurt in the hunter’s eyes.
“I’m sorry,” said Benny. “I liked them too.”
The four of them stood and watched the three zoms struggle up the hill. Even though he knew they were beyond feeling anything, it seemed to Benny that each step looked painful. It made his heart hurt.
“Who would do something like that?” demanded Nix.
“A real monster,” said Benny.
Dr. Skillz nodded. “For sure. There’s killing and then there’s murder. Brother Dave and the girls never hurt no one.”
“What … should we do?”
“Quiet them,” said J-Dog. “Put ’em to rest.”
“No,” said Nix and Dr. Skillz at the same time.
“It’s not what they would want,” said Benny.
J-Dog sighed, and under his breath muttered, “Son of a bitch must pay.”
“Word. But dude, we’d better roll,” suggested J-Dog. “Or we won’t have a choice.”
They turned and hurried away at a light jog, putting a mile of crooked road between them and the zoms. Soon Brother David, Sister Shanti, and Sister Sarah were out of sight. Benny knew that without prey to follow, the zoms would stop pursuing them. He wondered if they would stand in the road for years like so many zoms did.
They slowed and walked under the shade of a line of young white oaks. “Story time,” said J-Dog. “The kahuna said—”
“Who?” interrupted Benny.
“Tom, man. Tom’s the big kahuna. He’s a crusher, he’s the legend.”
“Okay … but can we just call him ‘Tom’?”
Dr. Skillz grinned. “You guys are rough.”
“We don’t speak surfer,” said Nix. “We’ve never even seen the ocean.”
“Yeah.” Dr. Skillz sighed. “And we ain’t seen it since First Night. Sucks.”
“Tom,” prompted Benny.
“Right … Tom said you guys were heading east to find the jet. Said to meet you at the way station, but we just came from there and it’s mosty-toasty. Someone had a luau supremo and roasted a lot of zoms.”
“That would be us,” said Benny uneasily. He and Nix explained what happened.
Dr. Skillz grinned. “Way to think outside the box, duderman.”
“We lost Lilah, though,” said Nix. “She ran away.”
“Spook girl got spooked?” J-Dog shook his head. “Lot of forest to get lost in. Anyway … Tom said you’d be hitting Brother Dave’s first and then cruising to Wawona, so we caught a wave and here we are.”
“Nice timing,” said Benny appreciatively. “Thanks.”
“Hey, our pleasure,” Dr. Skillz said with a grin. “Fast Tommy’s saved our butts enough times.”
“Totally,” said J-Dog. “Wawona’s not far from here. Good place to kick back.”
“Is that where you were coming from?” asked Benny.
Dr. Skillz removed his shades to clean them. “Nah. We ain’t been there in almost three months. Been doing a lot of guard work for the scavenge team way over at Lushmeadows Estates. Got hired to clear out all the zoms and then babysit the scavenger team.”
J-Dog gave an enthusiastic nod. “Yeah … made some nice green, too. We ran into Tom last week and told him we’d be crashing at Wawona, though. Still some snow high up, so we were gonna rest up, then go high and snowboard. It’ll be a powwow for sure. Saaaa-weeeeet!”
“Um. Okay,” said Benny uncertainly, not sure what a “snowboard” was.
“We were heading to Wawona,” Nix interjected, “but we don’t have to. I mean … there’s four of us now. Shouldn’t we go try and find Tom and Chong?”
Dr. Skillz put his shades back on. “No doubt. Kind of surprised Tom isn’t already back.”
“Wait,” yelped Benny, “what are you saying? That Tom’s in trouble?”
“I didn’t say he was in trouble,” said Dr. Skillz. “It’s just that a lot of weird stuff’s been happening in the last few weeks. We missed most of it ’cause we were over at Lushmeadows. Bunch of animals coming out of the east, and an upsurge in the zom head count.”
“And now we got fast zoms,” said J-Dog. “Weird times.”
“It’s weirder than you think,” said Benny, and he told them about the man who hadn’t reanimated.
“Whoa,” said J-Dog. “You sure?”
“Tom was sure,” said Nix.
The bounty hunters looked at each other, then turned and looked back the way they had come, as if some kind of answer was painted on the forest.
“For the record, dude, I do not dig this,” murmured Dr. Skillz.
The four of them walked in silence for almost five minutes as they considered their next move. Nix asked, “Have you met anyone who saw the jet?”
“Sure,” said J-Dog. “Lots of people. Us too. Kinda wild.”
Dr. Skillz nodded. “Tom said that’s where he was taking you guys. A quest thingy to find whoever has that jet.”
“Yes,” said Nix firmly. “Whoever fixed and fueled that jet is trying to bring civilization back.”
“You sure?” asked Dr. Skillz. “Bad guys and freaks can fly jets too.”
Nix either didn’t hear him or chose to ignore the remark.
Dr. Skillz abruptly stopped. “Dog,” he said, “I think we’re making a mistake here.”
“Why? Tom wanted us to lifeguard these guys and—”
Dr. Skillz cut him off. “Wawona’s only six or seven miles. They can do that without us. But that dead guy bothers the crap out of me. The way he was killed? That’s got Charlie’s tag on it.”
“Totally,” said J-Dog.
“Charlie or White Bear. They used to run in the same pack; they got a whole lot in common.”
“Yeah, and I don’t like the idea of the kahuna running those hills.” Dr. Skillz glanced at Benny and Nix. “You guys said that Tom took you out on a back road, right? A route he doesn’t use much?”
“Yes, he wanted to—”
“I see where you’re going, brah,” said J-Dog.
“I don’t,” snapped Nix. “And who’s White Bear?”
Dr. Skillz made a face. “White Bear is a very big and very bad hombre. Mucho bad mojo. Even over in Lushmeadows they’re talking about him rebuilding the Matthias Empire. Got people all over the place. We saw a dozen of them today, though we steered clear.”
“We’re peace-lovin’ citizens,” said J-Dog.
“The Matthias …? God …,” breathed Nix, putting her hand to her mouth.
“White Bear’s no friend to Fast Tommy, and that’s for sure,” continued Dr. Skillz. “What I’m thinking is that Tom might not know that the Bear’s got his goons out. Not if he came out a back way. He’d have missed the traffic. But if he’s dogging your boy Chong, then …”
“We have to go find him!” declared Benny, taking a decisive step toward the west.
“Whoa! Not a chance, duderino,” said J-Dog with a grin. “You two are going to Wawona just like your brother told you to. Skillz and I will find the kahuna.”
“No way!” snapped Nix. “You don’t expect us to—”
“—stay out of trouble? Yes, we do. If we drag you into a fight with White Bear, Fast Tommy’ll fry us for it.”
“We can handle ourselves,” Nix insisted. “Tom’s been training us, and—”
Dr. Skillz gave her a toothy grin. “I’ll bet you’re fierce as a tiger shark, Reds, but this is about speed, too. We’re gonna boogie like banshees. We got tricks for this, and believe me, you don’t know ’em.”
J-Dog nodded. “We got to catch a monster wave, dig?”
“But—,” Benny began, but left the rest unsaid because without a single additional word, J-Dog and Dr. Skillz turned and began running down the road. They ran with the easy grace of athletes. Benny knew that he and Nix could never match their speed.
Nix took a few steps after them, but it was more out of frustration than any hope of catching them. Then she turned to Benny, fists on hips. “Now what do we do?”
Benny sighed and adjusted the sling that held his bokken. “I guess we go to Wawona. At least it’ll be safe there.” Then he added, “Dudette.”
Nix giggled, and that laugh was worth more to Benny than all the homespun comforts in the world. They turned and headed down the road to Wawona.
Tom says that zoms move faster or slower depending on how soon it is after they’ve reanimated and where they are in the process of decay. He says there are different stages for decay. I checked this with some medical books (and bugged Dr. gurijala about it, too. I think he thinks I’m really weird).
ALGOR MORTIS (Latin: algor—coolness; mortis—of death): the process a body goes through after death, during which the body cools to ambient temperature. Temperature drops at approximately 1 to 1.5 degrees Fahrenheit per hour.
RIGOR MORTIS (literally “death stiffness”): the stiffening of the limbs following death as muscle cells decay.
VITREOUS HUMOR CHANGES: There is a clear gel that fills the gap between the retina and the lens of the eye. Following death, the potassium level in this gel increases at a measurable and predictable rate, which allows forensics experts to use it to measure time elapsed since death.
ENTOMOLOGY: Insects always appear on a corpse and are crucial to its decomposition.
AUTOLYSIS (literally “self-splitting”): This is the process of postmortem cell disintegration.
PUTREFACTION: the decomposition of proteins by anaerobic microorganisms called putrefying bacteria.
I’m going to go throw up now.