Chapter 2

 

The others were carrying on a lively debate around me. Lunch, right. We hadn’t eaten since some ridiculously early hour in the morning. Most Marines and families went to a particular restaurant, apparently, as a kind of Family Day tradition. Damian grimaced as he told us his drill instructor would be there for us to meet. Eddie laughed and told us that the DI’s never smiled. Ever. It was like they just didn’t have the smile muscles.

A little later and we found ourselves in the elegant restaurant, surrounded by DI’s stopping by all the families to chat about the recruits. They were some of the scariest looking people I have ever seen, and I’ve seen a few. But I noticed the deep respect on Damian and Eddie’s faces as they watched their former instructor come toward us. It was almost awe.

The instructor shook all our hands, the faintest glimpse of something possibly resembling a smile touching the corners of his mouth. I caught Eddie and Damian exchanging a silent, expressionless glance that still screamed surprise, and couldn’t resist a little grin.

The DI shook my hand last. Since he’d already chatted with my parents about Damian’s performance through boot camp, I expected him to just greet me and go on with his rounds. But he stopped and studied me curiously.

“So you’re Merelin? Twin sis?”

I stared, a little taken aback and more than a little tongue-tied. I would never have survived recruit training, I realized grimly. Give me an Ungulion any day and I’d be fine, but give me a Marine drill instructor and I’d be a pathetic quivering blob in minutes. Finally I managed a nod. I couldn’t even get out a “yes sir.”

The DI turned away, taking a couple of steps and then spearing me an uncompromising glance that told me he expected me to follow him. Though he wasn’t an exceptionally tall man, that didn’t make him any less intimidating. He had the body of a small bear. A small, compact, hairless bear. I took two steps and crossed my arms protectively, not intending to look petulant.

“You know, when your brother was my recruit, he took charge of his platoon almost the first day. Hit the ground running and never stopped to look back. Real natural leader, that one. I said to myself one day, ‘That boy’s done this before.’ I didn’t know how. Impossible, I told myself. He’s barely out of training wheels and pull-up diapies. But he just acts like a real seasoned soldier. And you know what he told his platoon? I heard him say it again and again, and I thought first time around he was dressing down the babies, giving them hell, toughening them up. Then I realized he really meant it. He wasn’t making fun.”

“What did he say?” I asked. It was the obvious question – the DI had left out that crucial bit of information.

He almost smiled again. “He’d tell his men, ‘My sister is tougher than you.’ Or, ‘This wouldn’t stop my sister.’ Things like that. Like I said, I thought he was dressing them down – no offense to you. But he really meant it.”

He surveyed me carefully, head to toe, obviously appraising me to see if I was worth Damian’s esteem. I dropped my arms to my sides and lifted my chin, trying to meet his gaze with something resembling confidence.

“I’m sure he was exaggerating a little,” I said.

“Oh, I don’t doubt it,” the DI replied, so surely that I felt myself blush. “But he’s a good judge of men’s mettle. Like I said, a natural leader. He saw something in you. And to be honest with you, you got to be something of a symbol around his platoon. A glorified emblem of honor and victory and the whole damn Corps. I think some of them had shrines set up to you by the end of training.”

“I’m sure those wouldn’t pass inspection.”

The DI actually gave a hoot of laughter, clapping me on the shoulder so hard that I had to gasp for breath.

“You’re a piece of work, Merelin Lindon. But my thanks to you for being an inspiration to those recruits.”

“I hope I don’t disappoint,” I said.

“Not at all.” He wagged his finger at me. “Enigma, that’s you. Not a disappointment.”

He turned away, shaking Damian and Eduardo’s hands again, then strode off to visit some other hapless family. I met Damian’s puzzled glance, and in unison we both lifted our hands in a bewildered shrug. And suddenly there was Eddie, his arm around my shoulders.

“Holy sh—shells and bells,” he cried, squeezing me in a sideways hug. “Was that a laugh I heard from our hat? Make me a liar!”

I smiled faintly and edged out of his grasp. “Hey, Damian, can I talk to you for a sec?”

He nodded and headed outside, where the hot San Diego sun blazed down on the palm trees and the yellow stucco walls. We found some benches situated around a pretty fountain, but neither of us moved to sit down. Damian watched me quietly, hands behind his back, face expressionless. I slanted a glance at him and almost smiled. Before now, I’d only ever seen that look on his face when he was concentrating, or deeply worried. It was like boot camp had been a big bolt of lightning, freezing his face in that expression.

Suddenly I felt awkward. For a moment I couldn’t remember why I had wanted to talk to him. Maybe I hadn’t. Maybe I’d just wanted to get away from handsy Eddie. I crossed my arms and stared at the ground.

“Can’t believe you got a laugh out of Sergeant Beck,” Damian said finally. “Unreal. What was that about, anyway?”

I felt myself blush. “Don’t know if I could tell you.”

He smiled and nodded. For a while we both stood silent, facing the lush green lawn and waving palms.

Then Damian slanted a glance at me and asked, “So what do you think of Eddie? I know he’s kind of crazy, but...”

“What about him?”

“Geez, Mer, I just asked what you thought of him. I meant what I said earlier. He’s like a brother to me. I’d hoped you would like him too.”

“I like him just fine,” I said, avoiding his stern gaze. “He’s great. I love him already. Hugs all around.”

Damian’s breath hissed out and he made a little quarter-turn on his heel to stare at the fountain. He didn’t say a word. And somehow, seeing him so in control of himself, not rising to my bait, really annoyed me. It was like he was suddenly older and stronger and smarter than me, leaving me behind like the pathetic whiny teenager I knew I was being. I shoved my hands in my pockets and scuffed my shoe on the stones.

“I’m sure he’s great,” I finally offered. “It just kind of creeps me out that he’s always touching me. I’m not a touchy-feely kind of girl, D. Sometimes I just want to be left alone.”

“That’s what you’ve been saying for the last year. I don’t like seeing you like this, Mer. I want you to be happy. I thought maybe he would be different. Stupid me, I guess.”

I clutched his arm, burying my head against his shoulder. “I don’t want to argue about it.” I shuddered. “Damian, I thought I heard him.”

“What? Who, Eddie?”

“No.” I could feel the burning tears at the back of my throat. Don’t cry…not now. I cleared my throat and managed to whisper, “Yatol.”

He took one step back and stared at me. I knew why it surprised him. I hadn’t said that name since the day we came home.

“Earlier, when you hugged Eddie?”

He actually believed me? My heart leapt, but then I saw his face. Stern, disapproving, skeptical. With him watching me that way I couldn’t speak, so I just shrugged and nodded.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I know it’s tough letting go of memories like that. There were times after Dad disappeared that I could have sworn I heard him calling me down to supper. It happens. It hurts, but it’ll go away.”

“I wasn’t imagining it!”

“Mer…you have to let him go.”

He could have stabbed me in the heart with an unsharpened pencil and it wouldn’t have hurt as much as those words. It took every ounce of will to force back the tears. I can’t let him go. Don’t want to. But I buried the anger and all the grief with a quick shake of my head, and turned back to the restaurant.

“Never mind. I should’ve guessed you wouldn’t understand.”

“Mer—”

“Forget I brought it up. Come on, everyone’s probably waiting on us.”

He grabbed me by the arm before I reached the building. For a moment he just studied me, so sad, all the strength and fire gone from his gaze.

“I don’t want this hanging over us tomorrow,” he said. “I need you, sis. I need you with me. God knows you got me through boot camp. Don’t walk out on me now.”

“I would never,” I gasped, hugging him fiercely. “I’m so sorry, D.”

“Okay,” he said with a firm nod. “We’ll put it behind us, forget all about it. Come on, I’m starving. Swear I haven’t had a real meal in three months!”

I found myself breathing a sigh of relief as I trailed after him.

* * *

The rest of Family Day flew by. We wandered around the base, went shopping, ate ice cream and got sunburned. Eddie toned down during the afternoon, but as soon as it came time for the recruits to return to their barracks, he was back to hugging me and doing his best to charm me with his wide warm smile. It was a really nice smile. I almost found myself blushing when he flashed me that big grin with a “good night.”

Darcy was all over it when we got back to our rooms. Even Maggie joined in, and then I couldn’t do anything to make them shut up about it. Finally I resorted to going to bed, way earlier than I’m used to, just to make them leave me alone. I woke up feeling cross, and that made me angry at myself on top of it all because I wanted to be happy for Damian.

Graduation passed in a whirlwind. The band played as the platoons marched out onto the parade deck, rows on rows of white hats and blue and khaki uniforms. Mom and Maggie could have single-handedly kept Kleenex in business. Even Darcy cried when Damian’s platoon stopped in front of our section of the bleachers. I almost did too. Part of me wished I could.

Then, almost before I realized what had happened, the Marines all turned sharply amid a cacophony of cheers and applause, and their lines dissolved as they shook hands and said their goodbyes to each other. It was over. Damian was a Marine. And I couldn’t have been prouder.

We waited on the perimeter of the parade deck until Damian made his way over to us. Somehow I’d almost hoped that Eddie would have said his goodbyes already and gone on his way, but there he was, trailing about ten feet behind Damian. He looked so happy, though, I couldn’t resent him. I even voluntarily gave him a hug while everyone else was hugging each other. It seemed like the thing to do. Darcy arched her brows meaningfully at me when she saw, but I only scowled and turned away.

We decided to have dinner all together before heading our separate ways. Most of the new Marines left in the early afternoon, but I could tell the decision had more to do with Eddie than the charm of San Diego. Dad went with Damian and Eddie to track down their bags and stow them in the rental car, leaving us girls waiting by the slowly clearing parade deck. Then Mom and Maggie left to do something – I wasn’t even paying enough attention to hear what – leaving just Darcy and me.

I sat on the bleachers, eyes closed. For not having shed a tear, my head ached like I had been sobbing for hours. For a while Darcy sat quietly beside me, apparently content to let me suffer out the pain in peace and quiet.

Then, “Why don’t you like Eddie?”

I wanted to scream. “I’d like him a lot better if people stopped asking me about him,” I snapped.

I clamped my mouth shut and glared down at the ridiculous sundress Darcy had made me wear. After a minute I vented my frustration on the hem of the frilly skirt, violently tugging it straight. I really wasn’t a dress kind of girl. I have no idea what possessed me to let Darcy talk me into buying the thing. She looked like a doll in anything with pink or flowers or frills anywhere on it, and knew how to take advantage of it. I mentally grumbled that I’d rather be in Damian’s cammies than this get-up. Maybe that would make the Latin Lover keep his hands to himself.

Darcy frowned, surveying me incredulously. “Who else was asking about him?”

“Damian,” I muttered. “We kind of argued about it yesterday.”

“You and Damian were arguing?” she gasped. “Oh my God, Lin-Lin, really?”

I glowered at my hands. “I don’t know what the big deal is. Why should I have to like him if I don’t want to? He’s great, sure, but he’s so…” I wiggled my fingers at her as if that could explain. “It creeps me out.”

Darcy laughed, burying her golden head in her hands. “Wow. You guys were fighting over that? You never fight.”

“It’s idiotic.”

“Yeah it is. You know Damian just worries about you, that’s all. He wants you to be happy. You wear this perfect little Merelin mask but it’s like, helloooo, are you in there anywhere?”

“What?”

“You know you haven’t been the same since last summer. You didn’t go to prom. I mean, what the—? Prom? And now you’ve got this drop-dead gorgeous Marine following you around like a puppy and you treat him like—”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You never do! That’s the problem. If you’re still angsting over that guy who broke your heart, I’ll hunt him down and slap him halfway to Pluto.”

I made some kind of grimacing noise in reply, half laugh, half sob. How could something be so funny and so painful at the same time? But Darcy couldn’t understand that. I had never really told her about Yatol, just that there was a guy I had cared about, and that my heart had broken. She inferred all the rest on her own. Darcy was my best girlfriend, but there were still things you didn’t spill. This was one of them. Four people on Earth besides me knew about Yatol, but they never mentioned him. Sometimes it felt like they’d all forgotten Arah Byen had ever happened.

“You don’t understand,” I finally managed to reply. “It wasn’t like that.”

“What? Did he or didn’t he break your heart?”

“He died, Darcy! That’s how my heart broke. He died!”

She just stared at me, mouth in a little O of shock, two faint lines between her brows. After a minute she put her hand on my shoulder.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”

I shrugged, plucking the hem of the dress again. “It was last year. Doesn’t matter any more.”

“Mer,” she said. Unlike everyone else in the world, she only called me Mer when she was being totally serious. “I don’t want to sound harsh, sweetie, but if he’s…dead…you really can’t go on like this. You have to let him go.”

Were she and Damian on the same brainwave now?

“Hey, there’s my girl!”

Fantastic. Just when I thought my afternoon couldn’t get any worse, here came Eduardo, jogging toward us. I swung my head around to roll my eyes at Darcy, trying to hide behind my hair. Eddie reached us, pouring out a stream of Spanish that I could just tell was ill-disguised flattery. He jumped onto the bleachers beside me, throwing his arm around my shoulders.

“What’s wrong, bella?” More Spanish. Then came the shoulder scrunching, and the staring into my eyes with deepest concern.

“She has a headache,” Darcy said.

I forced myself to my feet, wrenching out of Eduardo’s grip. “Sorry, guys. I have to go get some water.” I tapped my temple, adding, “It’s getting really bad.”

I muttered another “sorry” over my shoulder as I slipped out of the bleachers. Somehow I found my way back to the quarters where we’d been staying, grateful that my mom hadn’t checked out yet. I let myself into the room I shared with Maggie and Darcy and flopped down face-first on the bed.

The room was dark, the little space air conditioner rattling quietly under the window. Not the most glamorous of lodgings, but we’d been glad to get something on base. Still, I was sick of it. I just wanted to go home. But home meant getting ready for college, and college meant having to decide what I wanted to do with my life. And no matter how I did the math, going back to Arah Byen just didn’t figure into the possible outcomes.

I’d asked my dad once if it was possible – if I’d ever be able to go back. I didn’t get any kind of definite answer from him. He just said that the link between our worlds was no longer necessary. For a while that had been as a good as a “Yes!” but as time dragged on and nothing changed, my optimism shriveled up and died a sad lonely death. Why did things have to be so difficult? How was I supposed to live with my heart cut straight in two?

I rolled onto my back and sat up, glaring at my reflection in the mirror across the room.

Enough of the melodrama, she said. Whine, whine, whine. Grow up. Nobody else gets a fairytale life, so why should you?

She was glowering at me, just like I deserved. Still, I wanted to chuck something the size of a small dinosaur at the mirror. I escaped the disapproving stare by burying my face in my hands.

“You have forgotten me.”

I jerked my head up, my gaze freezing on the mirror.

Yatol. Right there. Right behind me.

I leapt to my feet and spun around, staring all around the room, tears streaming down my cheeks, heart hammering. Empty. The room was devastatingly empty. The mirror was empty too, besides me in my ridiculous dress, hair all a mess, streaks of mascara under my eyes like some kind of lame perfume commercial.

He was here.

I sank down in a puddle of fabric at the foot of the bed, my whole body racked with sobs. He’s dead, I kept telling myself. You’re imagining it. But I didn’t want to believe it. My thoughts riveted on that image, that briefest flash of an image, trying desperately to capture every detail before its vividness began to fade.

Yatol, eyes radiant, fixed so sadly on me. The dark cloak he’d worn the first day I’d seen him, the hood drawn up. Hands held out, gripping the Blade of Heaven.

Then the image started fragmenting. Had he been holding the knife, or were his hands buried in the cloak? Was it his dark cloak, or the sand-hued one we had worn on our rescue mission? Was he wounded? Was it really him?

“How could I forget you?” I wept into the emptiness. Then, bitterly, “You abandoned me.”

I pushed myself to my feet and went into the bathroom to salvage my horribly ruined appearance. A cold washcloth helped the puffy circles around my eyes and the oh-so-dramatic mascara streaks. I touched up my makeup and tugged a brush through my hair. It had gotten impossibly long, but I’d never wanted to cut it. I twisted it up into a fancy kind of knot, stabbed two chopsticks through its dusty brown mass to hold it in place, and left the room to find everyone.

 

 

J. Leigh Bralick is a fantasy novelist and a perpetual student. When she isn’t writing, she enjoys listening to music, fencing, costuming, and inventing languages for her worlds. She currently lives in Texas with her dog Madison and three birds.

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Check her page on Smashwords for info on upcoming titles.