Theena focused on the floor, unable to bare Bill’s accusing stare. She could never make it up to him. She knew that. But at least she could offer an explanation.

“My real father had me late in life, when he was in his fifties. He died on my ninth birthday. Heart attack. It was sudden.”

Theena closed her eyes, tried to remember his face. The memories were elusive. She had a vague recollection of a dark, fat man, whom she and her mother feared.

“Nikos was my cousin. My uncle’s son, on my father’s side. After my Dad’s death, he began to see my mother. They eventually married. But there was a problem. I had a terrible crush on Nikos.”

Theena swallowed. She chanced a look at Bill. His eyes were far away, but he appeared to be listening.

“Nikos was everything my father wasn’t. He was my mother’s age, almost twenty years younger than my father had been. He was handsome. He was a scientist. And he treated me like a princess.”

Theena hadn’t spoken about this in over ten years, since she went to see that psychiatrist. He’d called it an Elektra Complex. The female version of Oedipus, being in love with your father. But Nikos wasn’t her father, really. He raised her, and acted like her father, but the incest taboo wasn’t there. In Greece, cousins are free to marry.

“Nikos loved my mother. He loved me, too, but not in that way. And I began to hate my mother for it. Can you imagine? Being jealous of your mom? But I was. I took up an interest in medicine, just so he’d pay attention to me. I knew I could win him over. And I did.”

Theena could remember the day clearly.

“I’d been terrible to him for many years. Teasing him. Leaving the door open when I showered. Walking around the house naked. Breathing in his ear when I kissed him goodnight. He always remained a perfect gentleman. Up until the day I graduated high school. That night, while my mother slept, he came into my room.”

It had been Theena’s first time. Recalling it still gave her shivers.

“We tried to hide it for a while, but my mother eventually found out. She left us. I begged Nikos to marry me. At first, he refused. He was becoming prominent in his field, and didn’t want the scandal. I convinced him, eventually, and we had a secret ceremony. But while in public, I had to be his daughter. I took the last name Boone, just so I could wear his ring.”

She smiled ironically.

“Here’s the funny thing. For years, I was always competing with my mother for his attention. And then, when she’s finally out of the picture, I had to compete with his work.”

She stared into Nikos’s eyes, wide open and dead. They looked at her with the same feeling as when he’d been alive.

“N-Som was his dream. His life. I became a neurosurgeon so I could be part of his dream. But he was never fully mine. He was married to science, not me.”

Theena lost her smile.

“I’ll never forget the first time he asked me to sleep with another man. A Senator, with a lot of money and power. We needed the government grant, so my father, my husband, pimped me out.”

The sobs came suddenly, racking her body. She’d never allowed herself to feel the shame before. Theena had always cited love as her motivation. She slept with other men because she loved Nikos. She worked with him on N-Som, knowing it was potentially dangerous, out of love. Love led her to betray her own mother. Love led her to bribe Mike Bitner and initiate a course that led to his death.

She hadn’t lied to Bill about that. She truly thought Bitner had left the country with a suitcase full of cash. But Rothchilde had used her, just like Nikos had. Theena had never been in control. She’d been fooling herself.

Theena sat on the floor; the guilt was so heavy she could no longer stand. Her nose was running. She could feel Bill’s eyes on her, burning like heat lamps. Theena wanted to run, hide someplace far away, where she could never hurt anyone again.

“I’m going to tell the media.”

Bill’s voice startled her. She didn’t look at him, but she silently agreed.

“The authorities will get involved, Theena. There may be arrests.”

She sniffled. “It’s the least I deserve.”

“I have one question.”

Theena didn’t know if she could handle it. But she nodded anyway.

“You’re trying to make N-Som out of Nikos’s brain. Why?”

“I think… I think Albert murdered him. This is the only way I can prove it.”

“You want to see your husband’s death? Feel his last thoughts?”

She found an inner reserve of strength and met his eyes.

“I have to. I have to know who killed him.”

Theena could sense Bill was struggling with it, figuring things out.

“I’m sorry I got you involved with this, Bill. My motives were selfish, and now you’re in danger.”

Bill walked over to her. He seemed more preoccupied than upset.

“How does N-Som affect a person in long term use?”

“We’re still not totally sure. Manny has become unbalanced, and there are some shadows on his CT that might be lesions. When they first appeared, I pleaded with Nikos to stop the experiment. But he and Manny insisted on continuing.”

“How about short term? Taking it once and a while?”

“I’ve taken it almost a dozen times. Not consecutive days, but every few. My last CT was normal.”

He squatted down next to her. Theena wanted, needed, for him to just hold her, but she didn’t dare ask.

“Is it safe to take it now, after you just took some at your apartment a few hours ago?”

“I’m not sure. But I’m willing to try it.”

Bill didn’t say a word for the longest time. Theena didn’t know what to expect from him. Was he going to spit in her face? Hit her? Call her names? That’s what men did. And in this case, she felt as if she deserved it.

But she didn’t expect him to hold out his hand. Theena took it, trying to keep her emotions in check.

“What now?”

Bill’s face softened, just a bit.

“I’ll help you prepare the drug. Can you make two doses?”

Theena squeezed his hand and nodded.

“Okay, then. Let’s find out who killed your husband.”