11
Getting Yasmina to meet me in person
entailed an extensive negotiation; she wanted to keep it to a phone
conversation. Left with no other choice, I played the birthday
card. A cup of coffee: was that too much to ask? I upped the ante
by suggesting an old haunt of ours, a café in the North End where
they brewed espresso in a machine the size of a Sherman tank. She
caved, as I knew she would. Her desire to keep me at arm’s length
could never outstrip her love of fancy hot beverages.
Upon arrival, we found the place shuttered. I tried
not to take this as a sign. Yasmina let out a little cry of
grief.
“When did this happen?” she said. “I was here like
two weeks ago.”
In the window was a letter dated March 23.
To all our dear customers, thank you for twenty
wonderful years. We are sad to inform you that Ettore has passed
away after a long battle with cancer. The café was his life and he
loved everyone who came in. We will all miss him forever.
I shuddered to realize that Ettore (whose name I
had never known) had opened his café right around the time my
brother drove a truck into a river and drowned.
We walked under the expressway, settling for the
Starbucks near Faneuil Hall. Yasmina tried to pay, but I stopped
her. “Give me the gift of self-respect.”
She smiled crookedly, bit her tongue.
“I’ve been calling you for weeks,” she said as we
sat down. “It rings and rings.”
“It’s not my number anymore.”
“You switched it?”
“I don’t have a phone.”
“Why don’t you have a phone?”
“You canceled it.”
“You didn’t get a new one?”
“No.”
“That wasn’t—I mean, I waited one billing cycle. I
figured you’d port the number over when you got a new phone.”
“I didn’t get a new phone.”
“Oh. Well ... Well, I’m sorry.”
“It’s all right.”
“We didn’t discuss it. We should have.”
“It’s all right.”
“And I was mad.”
“I know.”
“But I should’ve told you first.”
“Forget about it. It’s liberating, actually, not
having a phone. You’d be amazed.”
“I’ll bet.” She paused. “So what brought that
on.”
“Nothing in particular. I wanted to write to you,
so I did.”
“. . . okay.”
“I didn’t realize we had a moratorium on e-mail,” I
said.
“Don’t get mad.”
“I’m not. I just don’t see what the big deal is
about me sending you an e-mail.”
“It’s not a big deal.”
“Then why are you getting upset.”
“I’m not upset. Please, Joseph. I’m—look, we’re not
together anymore, and—”
“I know. I’m well aware. Thanks for the
reminder.”
“Can you not, please.”
I said nothing.
“I’m happy that you’re doing well. I want to
hear that. Tell me about this job.”
I thought. “It’s sort of like a research
fellowship.”
“Like a ... a think tank?”
“You could call it that.”
“That’s great,” she said. “That’s perfect for you.
Haven’t I always said that? And a new place? I thought you were
living with Drew.”
“For a while. Not anymore. Look.” All the small
talk was beginning to derail me. “I’m not sure how to say
this.”
“Wait,” she said. “Wait.”
“Let me—”
“Wait a minute. I know what you’re going to
say.”
“You don’t—”
“I do.”
“Your family? Was that it? Because if that was the
issue, then—”
“That wasn’t the issue. That was never the
issue.”
“Strictly for my own edification—”
“Please stop,” she said. “We can’t have this
conversation here.”
“Then where can we—”
“Nowhere. We can’t have it anywhere, at any
time.”
“I’m trying to learn.”
“There’s nothing to learn.”
“There’s always something to learn,” I said. “This
isn’t beyond me, Mina, I can und—”
“Please don’t call me that,” she said.
Stung, I said, “Why not.”
“Because I’m asking you not to.”
“But why.”
“Would you please, please, keep your voice
down.”
People had begun to eye us over their lattes.
“Let’s take a walk,” I said.
She shook her head.
“Why not?”
“I want to stay here.”
“Why.”
“It’s neutral territory.”
“You don’t trust me?”
“Of course I trust you—”
“Then let’s go.”
“Do you want to argue, or do you want to
talk?”
“We aren’t talking,” I said. “You won’t let
me.”
“Joseph.” She put her head in her hands. “You’re
working yourself up.”
“I am merely—”
“Please,” she said, looking up. “Please let me
speak.”
For a moment I thought she might cry. I had seen it
enough times to know. Her face takes on a greenish cast, as though
she’s going to be sick. I beat back the urge to reach out for her.
She rubbed her eyes again, and this time when she came up, she
looked perfectly sober.
“I’m engaged,” she said.
Now one of our neighbors, a girl with black plastic
glasses, began to gawk openly. What entertainment! Better than
One Life to Live! I glowered at her, and she went back to
her Aphra Behn. Meanwhile, Yasmina was taking rapid sips, her eyes
darting nervously.
“It’s been five months,” I said.
“Six.”
“Not even. Five and a half.”
“So.”
“So that’s—that’s ridiculous.”
“Don’t.”
“It is. It’s completely ridiculous.”
“You’re entitled to your opinion.”
“Who is he?”
“His name is Pete,” she said, “and ‘he’ is
my fiancé, so if you don’t mind—”
“Pete.”
“Yes.”
“That’s his real name?”
“Of course it’s his real name,” she said. “What’s
that supposed to mean?”
“Does Pete have a last name?”
The tiniest silence. Then: “Soleimani.”
“Ah,” I said.
“What’s ah.”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing’s ever nothing with you; tell me what you
meant by that.”
“It’s nothing,” I said. “Just, that’s what I
thought.”
“What’s what you thought.”
“Persian,” I said.
“Yes, in fact, he is.”
“So, that’s what I thought.”
“Well, hooray for you. You were right.
Bravo.”
“There’s no need for sarcasm.”
“He’s Persian. Is that all right with you, Your
Highness?”
“Well, I don’t think my opinion really
changes—”
“No,” she said, “it doesn’t, but who cares? Who
cares if we’re talking about someone I love? It’s not about me, or
him, it’s about you, it’s always about you, so why don’t you
tell me exactly what you think. Get it all out on the table. Go
ahead, it’ll make you feel better. ”
“Fine,” I said. “Let’s see: he lives in Los
Angeles.”
“New York.”
“Okay, fine, New York. And he’s forty-five and
sells cars.”
“Thirty,” she said pointedly, “and an
investment banker. Are you done? Because I don’t need this, so if
you can’t stop behaving like an infant, I’m going to leave. I don’t
need to tell you anything. I wanted to, as a courtesy, so
you’d hear it from me first. That’s why I’ve been calling. I’m
trying to be nice, but you’re making it very, very hard.”
A long silence.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
She said nothing.
“Mina.”
“Don’t call me that.”
Another silence.
“Let’s try that again,” I said. “Tell me you’re
engaged.”
After a pause, she said, “I’m engaged.”
“Congratulations. I’m happy for you. I couldn’t be
happier. Really, I couldn’t be happier, not if—”
“Enough.”
I thought I’d been putting on a pretty good show.
“Where did you meet?”
“My sister set us up.”
“And ... when’s the big day.”
“We don’t know yet. He’s working on getting a
transfer to the West Coast. I’m staying here next year, clerking
for Judge Polonsky, so it won’t happen for at least a year.”
“So that’s how long I have to win you back.”
She rolled her eyes.
“Congratulations,” I said. “I mean it.”
“Do you?”
“I’m trying to.”
Silence.
“Thank you,” she said.
Silence.
“I want to ask you something,” I said. “But you
can’t get upset. Deal?”
“No.”
“All right, well, regardless ... Is his name really
Pete?”
I couldn’t tell whether she was going to laugh or
hit me.
“It’s short for Pedram,” she said.
“Got it,” I said.
Silence.
“Thank you for not yelling at me,” I said.
The noise of steam and grinding.
“It’s not what you think,” she said.
“What do I think.”
“He’s a good guy. A really good guy. He’s very
thoughtful, and smart. He went to NYU.”
She sounded wistful, and I realized that if I
needed to believe I still had a chance, she needed equally to
prove—to herself, to me—that she hadn’t sacrificed her ideals by
trading me in for a snazzier model. Though I wanted desperately to
refute her, all I said was, “I expect nothing less.”
I COULDN’T SLEEP that night. At quarter to six
Daciana’s station wagon chugged into the driveway, and I rose and
went to the kitchen, where Alma was unwrapping a fresh loaf of
bread.
“Up early, Mr. Geist.”
I smiled wanly. “I’m not feeling my best.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Perhaps we should once
again table the debate.”
That would make twice in one week, and I felt my
insecurities resurgent: she was trying to drive me away. Then I
forced myself to calm down. I’d neglected to shave, and I looked a
wreck. She was being considerate.
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” I said. “But thank
you.”
“As you wish.” She handed me the bread to slice. “I
must apologize that I didn’t warn you of my nephew’s arrival. I
would have, had I been given any notice myself.”
“There’s no need to apologize.”
“Please, Mr. Geist. Let us be honest with each
other. Your irritation was plain.”
Knife moving, I shrugged.
“I must ask that you accept his presence here, for
it is inevitable, and will inevitably recur.”
I put the bread in the toaster and reached for the
whistling kettle. “He’s your sister’s grandson.”
“The very same. The last remaining leaf on the
tree, so to speak, and for that reason I choose to overlook his
many flaws. While I consider a poor upbringing no excuse for lapses
of character, much of the responsibility for that upbringing was
mine. He was orphaned at a young age, and for a time thereafter
lived with me.” Before I could reply, she raised a hand. “You doth
protest too much, Mr. Geist. I only tell you this in order that you
should exercise patience with him and with me.”
“May I asked what happened?”
“A drunk ran down his parents.”
Now I really did feel guilty.
“Yes,” she said. “It was very sad. As you might
imagine, it was a rather uncontrollable boy that I received, though
I no doubt contributed to these tendencies, or at least exacerbated
them. Children frustrate me, as they give the appearance of
possessing reason when they do not. That I failed to learn, time
and again, is my fault alone.” She paused. “Again I apologize. None
of this concerns you. All I ask is that you not judge him too
harshly.”
“It’s you I’m worried about.”
“Allow me, then, to set your mind at rest. He tests
me, it is true, but I am more than capable of handling him. I do,
however, wish for you to be prepared. He has a habit of appearing
out of the blue, and leaving just as abruptly. Before this week I
had not heard from him in six months. We ought therefore to expect
many visits in the coming days.”
I looked at her.
“He needs money,” she said.
“... I see.”
Somewhat tartly, she said, “He is my only living
relative, Mr. Geist.”
“Of course. I didn’t mean to pry.”
“My relations with my nephew always have been and
always shall be effected through the exchange of funds. It is
better that this should be so, in order that he remain interested
in me and I avoid disappointment.”
But why, I wanted to ask, do you care whether he’s
interested in you? Why, when you have me? “I understand,” I
said.
Her point made, she sat back, far older than I had
ever seen her. “Ach. This has been going on for years. I am merely
unaccustomed to a third party bearing witness.”
“He has no right to upset you.”
“He does all the same.”
“He doesn’t have to.”
She smiled. “No? You would murder him for me,
then?”
“I can keep him outside the next time he shows
up.”
“That is good of you, but I am afraid I couldn’t
accept. Though the burden be terrible, I bear it freely.”
Her weariness didn’t seem to square with the
laughter I’d heard from the other room. I knew as well as anyone,
though, that love makes hypocrites of us all.
In the next room, the maid began to vacuum.
“Let us talk of happier things.” Alma reached into
her sweater pocket and took out a check. “For you.”
“You paid me yesterday.”
“Yes. This is for your birthday, which I believe is
almost upon us.”
If I’d mentioned my birthday to her, I’d done so
months ago; for her to have borne it in mind so long moved me. I
was about to thank her when I looked down at the check and saw that
it was for five hundred dollars.
“Ms. Spielmann, please.”
“Please yourself, Mr. Geist.”
“I can’t accept this.”
“Rubbish. You must find yourself a decent pair of
shoes. A scholar cannot go around in rags.”
I did need new shoes, but not five hundred dollars’
worth. Think of all the books that would buy, I pointed out.
“There are other things a man should have, Mr.
Geist. You’ve plenty of books. Now, my tea, please. Let us attempt
to restore order to the universe.”