Chapter Sixteen

B efore Gina returned to camp, Derek and the others knew what had happened. Dalton alerted Lou, who in turn announced Jake’s death to the rest of the hunters.

Shit. This wasn’t going to go well.

Poor kid. Derek felt bad for Jake. Despite being a little pale and skinny, Derek saw something in him. He was a genius with weaponry. He’d have made a brilliant demon hunter who would have contributed much to the Realm of Light. They’d chosen Jake for a reason.

And the goddamn demons knew it, too. He’d bet his ass they targeted him first, deliberately set out to isolate and terminate him because they recognized him as a major threat.

He’d also bet Gina was blaming herself for this.

In fact, he knew she was as soon as the team walked into camp, Gina cradling the remains of Jake’s crushed remote in her arms like the symbolic evidence of his body.

She laid it on the table, unshed tears pooling in her half-lidded gaze as she barely made eye contact with them all.

“This is my fault,” she whispered, her voice shaky. “I take full responsibility for Jake’s death.”

She turned and walked away, heading to the bungalows.

Ah, Christ. He wished he could have been there. Maybe he could have prevented it. Right, and how could he have done that?

It wouldn’t have made any difference anyway, whether or not he’d been there. Couldn’t save the world all by him self. He’d learned that one a long time ago. They were all vulnerable.

After debriefing and dinner, Gina still hadn’t returned.

“I’m going to go talk to her,” Derek finally said, tired of waiting for her.

“You do that,” Lou replied. “Don’t let her go on thinking this is her fault.”

He stopped off at his room for a quick shower and change of clothes, but he knew it was a stall tactic. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say to her. He was the wrong person to offer sympathy. In the demon hunting business, people died. He’d seen it before.

It was bound to happen. Demons were smart and devious and couldn’t be counted on to play fair. He’d warned all the hunters that death was a possibility, but he also knew none of them had really listened.

Most never do, until it happens. He’d been there and done that himself when he lost a team member. So just shut up and offer sympathy. No, he should make her talk about it.

Oh, right. Trying to get Gina to talk about her feelings had worked so well the other night, hadn’t it?

But this time she’d have to.

He knew what it was like to try to run from your feelings. It didn’t do any good, because they stayed right with you no matter where you went. Like demons, the memories were unshakable. She’d have to face them eventually.

He’d had to. A long time ago. Now it was her turn.

And that part he could help her with.

 

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

It was all her fault.

Because she was arrogant, thinking this was some kind of game. She’d been so excited, wanting to take the lead with Jake like she’d been the one to personally discover his new weapon. And then she’d gone off on Derek like she was Gina, queen bitch of the jungle, large and in charge.

Only this wasn’t Hollywood, and it wasn’t a game. The monsters were real. They could all be killed.

Correction—someone had been killed.

Jake. And it was her fault he was dead. Her responsibility. She’d taken him under her wing, but instead of protecting the kid, she’d let her overconfidence and giant ego blind her to the reality that she had no idea what she was doing.

She was an actress who dabbled in extreme sports, martial arts, and weaponry. She thought she could easily step in and manage demon hunting. Right. She didn’t have a clue what she was doing.

God, what a mess she’d made. She dropped her head in her hands and wished she could crawl into a hole and pretend today had never happened. If only she hadn’t encouraged Jake to build the weapon. If she’d left him alone…

She startled at the knock on the door. Wasn’t everyone in bed by now? Shay had already come by. So had Olivia, and Dalton and Mandy. She’d sent them all away. The last thing she wanted to do was talk this out. Nor did she want anyone’s sympathy.

She wanted to feel awful, deserved a lot worse than a twisted stomach and shaky limbs.

“Go away.”

Whoever it was turned the knob and walked in. She whirled to find Derek closing the door behind him.

“I don’t want company.”

“I know. But you’re getting it anyway. And you should lock your door.”

“Why?”

He tilted his head to the side and arched a dark brow as he approached. “What if I’d been a demon?”

“They knock?”

“You know what I mean.”

Shrugging, she started to head past him, intent on grabbing water from the minifridge. “I guess I would have been dead.”

He slipped his fingers around her wrist, stopping her from moving away.

“You’ve been crying.”

Dammit. He wasn’t supposed to notice that. With a quick turn, she shot him a “no shit” look. “Well, Derek, one of my team members was brutally murdered today. Forgive me if that got to me just a little.”

Now he looked even more uncomfortable than she felt.

“Hey. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean you weren’t supposed to cry.” Jamming a hand through his hair, he added, “Dammit, Gina, I’m not very good at this sensitivity shit.”

“I noticed.” She smiled. She didn’t want to, but she did. She extricated her wrist from his hold and grabbed the bottle of water, unscrewing and rescrewing the cap.

“You can’t blame yourself for what happened with Jake.”

This was a conversation she didn’t want to have. “Who do you think I should blame, then?”

“The demons, Gina. They’re cunning and vicious. You’re new to this game. Hell, even those of us who’ve been fighting them for years still lose. You can’t predict them. They show no mercy.”

She’d witnessed that firsthand today. “I hadn’t expected them to be merciful, Derek. But I should have known better.”

“How would you have known?”

“I don’t know.” She fiddled with the cap on the bottle, finally putting it back, needing something stronger than water. But even alcohol wouldn’t dull her senses enough tonight. “I shouldn’t have let him build that machine.”

“He still might have been killed, weapon or not.” Derek sat on the chair next to her bed and stretched his legs out. “They’d have figured out eventually that Jake was a threat to them.”

“So I expedited his death, then.” Great. That made her feel so much better.

“Do you really want to make this about you?”

She sat on the bed and gripped the edge of the mattress. “It is about me. And the mistakes I made.”

“You’re wrong. You’re a good warrior. All of you are good warriors. It could have happened to any of us. It could have happened on my team today. Lou didn’t even get the hot-spot warning on those demons that appeared and grabbed Jake until they were already out. It was instantaneous, and that has never happened before.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It was a portal blast of some sort. Like an express elevator, if you will. From the way Lou explained it, one minute there was no new demon activity, the next they were right there, killing Jake. It was so fast Lou didn’t even have time to warn you.”

She leaned forward and clasped her hands together. “And a sudden appearance like that, one without a heat warning, had never happened before.”

“No. The demons appear fast, of course, but never without a heat signature, the increased temperature warning that registers on Lou’s program. This was so fast it didn’t even log on his scale. He’s looking into it now, to see if they’ve developed some new method of appearing, one that doesn’t project a thermal signal.”

That, at least, offered her some comfort.

“If you’re going to be a demon hunter, if you’re going to fight alongside us, you have to get used to people dying. You have to learn to deal with it.”

“How do you deal with it?”

She could see the lines etched alongside his eyes as he blinked, trying to mask the pain. Memories of people he’d lost, maybe?

But just as quickly as it had been there, it disappeared, replaced by a shrug of indifference. “I don’t let myself care about anybody.”

Ouch. Talk about listening to her own inner voice. Except hearing it from Derek sounded heartless. And she wasn’t heartless. She wished she was—then she wouldn’t be hurting so bad inside.

And Derek did care, no matter what he said. He was as good at trying to hide his feelings as she was.

“I can’t do that anymore. I can’t pretend I don’t care.”

He frowned. “I didn’t say you shouldn’t care. But you’re going to have to toughen up. You can’t do this job and fall apart every time you lose someone on the team. It’ll tear you up.”

It already had. She knew caring was a huge mistake, knew getting involved with these people was going to screw her up. Where had the hard Gina gone, the one who never got involved, never got emotional, never developed ties? When had she gotten so wrapped up in these people?

“Think out loud.”

She looked up at him. “Huh?”

“Your mind is processing. It helps to do it out loud.”

“I don’t want to.” She didn’t want him there. She didn’t want anyone there.

“You just want to wallow in your misery all by yourself. Feel sorry for yourself. Blame yourself.”

“Actually, yeah, I do. So if you wouldn’t mind leaving…”

But he didn’t. Instead, he climbed onto the bed behind her, stretching his long legs out on either side of hers.

“What are you doing?”

His warm hands reached for her shoulders, digging into the tension that had knotted there.

“Massaging your shoulders.”

She tightened, trying to shrug him off. “Don’t.”

His chest brushed her back, his heartbeat strong and rhythmic. Relaxing.

Dammit, she didn’t want to relax. She shifted, trying to look around.

“Stop, Gina,” he said, his voice soothing.

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because I’ve been where you are. Beating yourself up isn’t going to bring Jake back. It’s not your fault.”

He continued to dig into the tight muscles of her shoulders, pulling her back against his chest. Though she struggled at first, it was clear he wasn’t going to let her up, so she finally gave in and rested against him, letting his fingers work their magic.

Blissfully silent, he didn’t speak, just melted away her tension with his magical fingers. Gina closed her eyes and for a few moments, everything was okay.

“Let it go,” he finally whispered in her ear. “A good hunter mourns a loss, then lets it go. You can’t dwell. It’ll eat you up inside.”

She shuddered a sigh. “I know you’re right. The logical part of me, anyway.”

“I talked to Dalton and he filled me in on what happened, step by step. I’d have done everything you did.”

She tilted her head back and looked at him. “Honestly?”

“Honestly. I wouldn’t have done anything different. You set Jake up so he’d be protected, you had him covered well. I would have been shocked as shit, just as you were, when that other demon showed up and killed him. And I’d have blamed myself, too.”

“You would?”

“For a few minutes, yeah. But then I would have realized it wasn’t my fault. They came out of nowhere in that portal blast.” He squeezed her shoulders. “Now let it go.”

“You’re right. I guess. I feel horrible about this, Derek. He was just a kid.” Damn tears. She swiped them away.

“I know, babe.” He wrapped his arms around her. “There are times I just want to walk away from all this. Times I feel like we’re never going to make any headway, that the demons are going to win no matter what we do.”

“What keeps you going?”

“Nic.”

She shifted in his arms so she was cradled sideways, al lowing her to see his face. “Your brother? Why?”

“Because they took him. Because a part of me holds out hope, stupid as it is, that someday I might be able to find him.”

“You think he’s still alive, that he’s still…” She couldn’t say the word.

“Human? I don’t know. Probably not. But the thought of it drives me. You have to have hope, ya know?”

No, she didn’t know about hope. After her mother had disappeared and they’d wrenched her away from her home and dumped her into foster care, she’d given up on hoping she’d ever see her again. And now to find out the demons had taken her and made her a vile baby-making machine…what kind of hope could she have knowing that?

She shuddered.

Derek tipped her chin up. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Secrets,” he said, his gaze boring into hers. “Dark demons.”

“What?”

“We hold all this shit inside and never share it with anyone. It’s like a cancer eating away at us.”

“Do you ever share your feelings and emotions with anyone?”

The corners of his mouth tilted in a wry smile. “I never used to.”

Touché. “I never had family, Derek. I never had people to share my feelings with. I lost my mother when I was a child. She was the only family I had. You have no idea what I went through after that.” She pushed back from him. “I don’t do this ‘opening up’ thing well.”

The lines at the corners of his eyes deepened as he frowned and jammed his fingers through his hair. “Do you think it’s easy for me? For any of us? We’re all fighting our pasts. My mother went off the fucking deep end after Nic disappeared. She lied to me about him, then went crazy trying to hide us from my dad. We moved around constantly until she died and I joined the Navy. I had no friends, no relationships, no other family to talk to. No one to confide in about this demon I saw taking my little brother out of his bed. Hell, for the longest time I thought I was crazy, too. Not quite what I’d call a stable family life.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I have no right to complain.”

“That’s not what I meant at all. Of course you have a right. You have every right. All of us do. I’m just trying to get you to open up, to share the pain with me. You’re not all alone in this. You’re not the only one this has happened to.”

She turned her head to look out the window. Moonlight filtered through the trees. “I can’t share that with anyone.”

“Why not? Because it’ll show you as less than the tough, ballsy, fearless woman you portray on the screen? Well, guess what, Gina—your cover is blown. I already know you’re nothing but a big, toasted marshmallow.”

Her wide-eyed gaze shot to his. “That’s not funny.”

He wasn’t smiling. “It wasn’t meant to be. I read you the first day. Crispy on the outside. Creamy inside. My favorite.”

“Now you are teasing me.”

“Yeah, I am.”

“I hate that.”

“No, you don’t. You’ve just never experienced it before so you don’t know how to handle it. Most people cater to you, treat you with kid gloves because they’re afraid of offending you. I just treat you like an equal.”

She crossed her arms. “I don’t like it.”

His lips twitched. “Are you going to pout?”

“I might.”

He pushed back against the mattress and rested against the headboard of the bed. Lacing his fingers behind his head, his wide chest expanded as he arched his back. “Go ahead. I’ll watch.”

“Derek!” Dammit, he was mean. “Get out of my room and let me get some sleep.”

“You don’t want to sleep,” he said, his eyes darkening.

“Since when do you presume to know what I want?”

“Since I’ve decided we’re so much alike it’s damn scary.”

She slid off the bed and grabbed for that bottle of water again, unscrewing the cap and taking a long swallow. She threw one to him and he caught it one-handed. “We are nothing alike,” she said. “You’re a bullheaded, opinionated, have-to-have-things-your-own-way pain in the ass.”

“Exactly.”

“Oh, that’s not fair. I’m nothing like that.”

“Aren’t you?”

She was really going to have to start locking her door. “Go away, Derek. I don’t want you here. Seriously.”

“You’re just mad that I’m not kissing your ass and giving in. But that’s not my style, Gina, and you know that. You don’t always get to have your way. Now come lay down on the bed with me and I’ll make you forget all your troubles.”

“You have an enormous ego.”

“Overshadowed by your gigantic one.”

She tossed the empty water bottle in the trash and placed her hands on her hips, leveling a glare in his direction. “Neanderthal.”

He arched a brow. “Brat.”

“Bastard.”

He was smiling now. “Bitch.”

She snorted. No one ever talked to her the way he did. No one ever gave her shit or threw her own attitude back at her. Admittedly, she found it rather invigorating. She approached the bed, resting the front of her thighs at the edge of the mattress.

“I’ll have you fired,” she teased.

“I’ll have you spanked.”

Her eyes widened. Now there was a challenge. She crawled onto the bed. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Try me.”

The flare of arousal sparked inside her, her body flaming like an unchecked wildfire. The thought of his hands on her, touching her, spanking her. God, the places her mind went just then.

“Come here, Gina.”

“No.”

Poised for flight, she still wasn’t prepared for his quick reflexes. When he lunged at her, she let out a squeal, but he caught her around the waist and dragged her, face-down, over his lap.

“Derek, let me up!”

“Oh, I don’t think so. You’ve been a very bad girl.”

She squirmed, but it sure as hell wasn’t to get away. Desire coiled heavy along her limbs and in her belly, especially when Derek dragged her shorts down to her thighs, baring her buttocks.

“Don’t you dare!”

“You want me to.”

His voice had gone dark, dangerous, just the sound of it enough to inflame her senses. When he touched her skin, she jumped, her body anticipating and needy. But he caressed her butt, smoothing his hand over her flesh, sliding between her legs and tempting her by purposely evading the parts she wanted him to touch.

She bit down on her lower lip, refusing to beg him to touch her there, wondering what he was going to do next.

When he swatted her buttocks, she let out a yelp. But he hadn’t spanked her hard. Oh, no, that was a love tap, meant to excite, not punish.

Damn, did it ever excite her. She grabbed a fistful of blanket and held on as he did it again to the other cheek, then smoothed the area he had just swatted with a soft caress, once again sliding his fingers between her legs.

“Open for me, Gina.”

Insinuating his hand between her thighs, he pushed them further apart, tugging her shorts all the way off. But still, he didn’t touch her sex, which throbbed in anticipation.

Please.

One spank, another tingle of lightning excitement, another sweet caress. And still, he didn’t touch her where she craved it most, didn’t answer her unspoken pleas.

It was the sweetest, most agonizing punishment she’d ever received. And she knew that when he did touch her, when he did caress her most sensitized areas, she was going to explode.

Derek had never spanked a woman in his entire life, had never engaged in this kind of sexual play. But with Gina, everything came naturally.

This need to claim her in unusual ways was overpowering him. The need to dominate her, the animal urges in side him growing stronger.

Forcing a gentle calm he didn’t feel, he played with her, enjoying the way she squirmed and moaned on his lap. He was so hard he was ready to explode, but he enjoyed teasing her, loved watching her, inhaling her musky sweet scent, feeling the trickle of arousal seep from between her legs.

Her sweet, firm ass was pink from his swats, though he took care not to hurt her, knowing his own strength. When she shuddered, he knew it was from pleasure, not pain. No, not the way she was undulating against him, brushing his cock with every movement.

He was dying all right, but he was waiting for her to utter the words.

Finally, she did.

“Derek, please,” she whispered, her face buried in the rumpled blankets.

“Please what, baby?” he asked, teasing her inner thighs with swirling fingers, aching to touch her weeping center but forcing himself to wait.

“You know what.”

“Tell me what you want.”

“Touch me.”

“Where? Here?” He rubbed the small of her back, loving the little dimple where her body indented there.

“No.” She arched against him and he bit back a groan.

“Here, then?” He rubbed her buttocks. So firm, her skin so unbearably soft.

“Well, yeah, that’s nice. But not there. Lower.”

“Oh, here.” He smoothed his hands over her firm, taut thighs.

“No, dammit.” She flipped over and grabbed his hand, placing it on her sex. Fire blazed in the dark blue of her eyes. “Here.”

She was wet, slick with desire, and he’d just found heaven. He cradled her head in the crook of his arm and brought her head up to his. “Oh,” he said, smiling down at her as he moved his fingers through her folds. “There.”

She hiccuped a gasp and he swallowed it with his lips as he kissed her, then slid his fingers inside her, licking her tongue, sucking it gently into his mouth. Her body convulsed around his fingers like a vise while he circled the small knot with his thumb, massaging her with gentle strokes until she gasped.

A sense of urgency overrode his desire to take her slow and easy. He laid her on the bed and removed her top, discarding his own clothing in a hurry. Then he flipped Gina onto her belly again. She went willingly, offering a saucy smile as she lifted up to accept him.

God, the woman was as hot as the fires of hell itself. Which did nothing to quell the madness surging inside him. Her wild nature only stoked the flame to blistering level as he kneed her legs apart and plunged inside her, rewarded with her shriek of approval as he buried himself deep.

He paused and took a few sweet seconds to feel her pulse around him, her body accommodating him, drawing him in.

He could die right here and be one damn happy man.

But then the urge to move took control. The time for sweet tenderness was over. The hunger had returned full force, beating against him with urgent pulses, forcing him to power inside her like a beast in mating. He wrapped one arm around her waist and thrust deep, retreating, and each time trying to crawl deeper and deeper inside her. Her body accepted each stroke, squeezing the very life out of him until he simply couldn’t gasp a breath anymore, had no control over the monster within him and just had to let it out.

He roared and let it free, the cries of her climax compelling him to let loose. He pinned himself against her and shuddered, biting down on the back of her neck as he shook with the force of his own orgasm and took her with him again.

Such a sweet release. Panting, sweating, they stayed glued like that for minutes while the only sounds were of their own breathing.

God, he needed to do this with her more often. He held her close, realizing that the madness, the boiling tension that lived inside him seemed to disappear for a while whenever they made love.

The first thing he remembered when he crawled out of the red haze was Gina underneath him. God, she probably couldn’t even breathe. Sometimes he wondered if he hurt her. He was so lost in sensation, his mind focused on her body and being joined to her, that it was like he became someone else.

Sometimes he forgot to be gentle with her. He purposely held back, but he wondered if it was still too much for her.

He rolled to his side, taking her along and keeping her nestled close, her back against his chest.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Mmm-hmmm” was her only answer.

He blew out a sigh of relief. Each time it got harder and harder to maintain his control. He had no idea what kind of mental trip he took when he made love with Gina, but it was like nothing that had ever happened to him before. She was like a drug in his system, and she took him on one hell of a ride.

Spent, Derek wrapped his arms around Gina, falling in and out of consciousness, content to hold her next to him for as long as he could.

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