Chapter Twenty-Two

Tommy drove them out of the city, into the vast lonely universe of the Mojave desert, where the air was clear and the sky was a bottomless blue overhead. She gripped him tight with her arms and thighs.

He followed a narrow unpainted spur road up the top of a bluff, and then he stopped at the edge of the cliff, looking down over a sea of sand and rock.

“That was a long ride,” Esmeralda said.

“You loved it.”

“Maybe.”

She got off the bike and stretched her arms. He dropped the kickstand and killed the engine, then stood beside her, looking over the cliff.

“Why did you come looking for me?” she asked. “Why now?”

“I should have come years ago,” he said. “I keep thinking about you.”

“Thinking what about me?”

“Take off your helmet.”

Esmeralda took it off and shook her long black hair. She smiled at him.

“I have a magic touch like yours,” he said. He took off one glove.

“What do you mean?”

“You can talk to the dead when you touch them,” he said.

“Maybe when I was a kid. It kind of faded away as I got older.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“You shouldn’t. I’m lying. But I can’t really talk to the dead.”

“Then how did you find out about the old man’s money?”

“What I do is more like listening,” Esmeralda said. “It’s like all their memories are left behind in their bodies. And I can find them. But it’s not like talking to dead spirits or anything. Their souls are gone.”

“Gone where?”

“Wherever souls go.” Esmeralda shrugged. “What do you do?”

“I can make people feel fear.”

“I’m not afraid of you.”

“Everyone is. Let me see your hand.”

“Don’t do anything creepy.” She held out her hand to him.

“Everything I do is creepy.” He took her hand and watched the inevitable chill bumps spread up her arms. She trembled and pulled away.

“You see?” he asked.

She touched her fingers to her lips, staring at him.

“I did warn you,” Tommy said.

“No…it’s okay,” she said. “It’s like a shock. I remember from when I was a kid. When you…” She blushed. “Let me try again.”

She took his hand in both of hers. She shuddered, but she kept looking him in the eye. Tommy felt his own heart move faster at her touch. She was going to drive him crazy.

“How scared are you?” Tommy asked.

“It’s kind of a rush,” she said. “It makes you feel alive.” She stepped closer and looked up at him. “I want to scream. But I like it. I want you to touch me more.”

She reached up and laid a cold, sweaty palm against his neck.

“I need you to do something for me,” he said.

She pushed closer against him. “What do you want?”

“I have the body of a third person. Like us. I need you to read it, or whatever you do.”

She took a breath and stepped back, releasing his hand. “Is that why you came?”

“I’m trying to understand more about what we are. Don’t you want to understand?”

“It can’t be understood,” Esmeralda said. “We are as God created us.”

“I’m not sure God did,” Tommy said. “We aren’t like normal people.”

“So who is this person?”

“A girl,” Tommy said.

“Oh. And what do you want to learn from her?”

“I saw her on television,” he said. “She seemed very together, very in control. And I can’t stop thinking about her.”

Esmeralda looked over the cliff and said nothing.

“I think she’s like us,” Tommy said. “Whatever we are. Only she knew what she was doing.”

“And you could see all this on the television?” Esmeralda asked, still not looking at him.

“I just felt it. I keep dreaming about her. I keep seeing her face and hearing her voice, all the time.”

“So you did not come out here for me,” Esmeralda said. “You came for her.”

“It’s all the same thing,” Tommy said. “It’s all about figuring out what we are, and what we can do—”

“It is not the same thing! You either came here for me, or for her.”

Tommy looked at her, not sure what to say. He hadn’t really thought very deeply about any of this.

Esmeralda sighed. “Take me to the body. I’ll do it. But then take me home.”

“If that’s what you want.” Tommy opened the saddlebag on the side of the bag, and he brought out the backpack with flowers and hearts sewn into it.

“What’s that?” Esmeralda asked.

“The body.” He unzipped the backpack and brought out the muddy wad of the dress. He unrolled it across the rocky sand, revealing a third of Ashleigh’s skull and a pile of bone fragments, with black crust flaking off them.

“Gross!” Esmeralda said. “That’s been right there the whole time?”

“This is all that’s left of her.”

“It won’t work,” she said. “It’s too old and broken up. Usually I do it soon after they’re dead.”

“It’s not actually old,” Tommy said. “Just wrecked.”

Esmeralda sighed. “I can try it, but I don’t promise anything.”

“Go ahead.”

She knelt on the sand next to the desiccated bones. She took a breath, then picked up the broken hunk of Ashleigh’s skull.

She closed her eyes.

Tommy watched her, feeling very nervous. If this didn’t work, he didn’t know what else he could do.

Esmeralda began to hum—not a song, but a drawn-out, tuneless noise.

Her eyes flew open, and she was staring right at Tommy.

“Finally!” she shouted. “Why did you wait so long?”

“What?” Tommy asked.

“I’ve been screaming at you day and night. ‘Get out of that prison and come get me!’ It took you forever!”

“What are you talking about?”

“God damn it, I hate being between incarnations,” she said. “Nobody sees you, nobody hears you, your powers are worthless…I missed the flesh.” She looked down at herself. She squeezed her own breast with her hand. “This isn’t a bad body, either! Not as pretty as my last one, but I’ll take it. Too bad she’s Mexican, though. And no money. Yuck.”

Tommy just stared at her until she looked back. Her eyes seemed a little different—as if their deep, rich brown color had turned a very dark shade of gray.

“Oh, guess you want a reward,” she said. With the hand that wasn’t holding Ashleigh’s skull, Esmeralda began unbuttoning her white blouse. She wore a flimsy, lacy bra underneath, and he could see the dark circles of her nipples. “Do you want to screw her body?”

“What?”

“Come on.” She stepped close to Tommy. Everything was different—her posture was taller and straighter, and she had a commanding tone to her voice. She hooked her fingers into Tommy’s belt. “It’s been a long time. I wanted to keep up the whole unattainable virgin thing in my last life, and there wasn’t a boy in Fallen Oak who wouldn’t have bragged about fucking me. So I went that whole lifetime without doing it.”

“Are you…Ashleigh Goodling?” Tommy asked.

“How are you this dumb again? You get dumber every time you’re born. It takes forever to train you.”

“I still have no idea what you’re talking about.”

She sighed. “Okay. I am Ashleigh Goodling, or that was my name in my most recent life. But I didn’t remember my past lives then. I didn’t remember what I really was. And if I wanted to come back, I had to go through the whole process of being born and being a baby and forgetting everything again. And I can’t let Jenny and Seth win like that.”

“Okay,” Tommy said. “Past lives?”

Ashleigh rolled her eyes. “Do we have to do this now?”

“What do you want to do?”

“I want to get your pants off.” Ashleigh tugged at his belt buckle but couldn’t pry it open with one hand. She used two fingers of her other hand, the one holding the broken piece of skull. The skull slipped out and fell to the ground.

“Fuck that!” she screamed. She let go of his belt and scrambled back from Tommy. “What are you doing?” She looked down, saw her shirt hanging open, and hurried to cover herself. “What are you doing to me?”

“I didn’t do anything,” Tommy said. “You started taking off your clothes.”

“It wasn’t me. It was her.” Esmeralda shuddered. “That’s not how it’s supposed to work. The soul is supposed to be gone. It’s like she was still there, just waiting to…” She scowled at Tommy. “You planned this, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t know that would happen.”

“But she knew,” Esmeralda said. “She was waiting. She jumped right into me. I didn’t even know that could happen.”

“Is it because she’s like us?”

“How would I know?”

“She talked about past lives. Like reincarnation,” Tommy said.

“I don’t believe in that.” Esmeralda’s dark amber eyes smoldered with anger. “I did what you wanted. Now take me home.”

“You have to let me talk to her again.”

“No.” Esmeralda’s voice grew quiet. “She scares me.”

“I thought you liked being scared.”

She glared at him. “I’m not letting her take control of me again.”

“I have to talk with her.” Tommy reached for Esmeralda’s arm.

She walked backwards towards the road, keeping her distance from him, watching his reaching hand warily.

“Esmeralda, wait—” Tommy said.

“I said no!” Esmeralda turned to run, tripped over a stone, and sprawled in the road.

“Let me help you.” Tommy shed his other glove and reached for her with both hands.

“No! Don’t touch me! Don’t…”

He seized her arms and pushed fear into her, the way he had with the prison guards. She shook hard in his grasp.

“You will do as I say,” Tommy told her. “Pick up the skull.”

“No,” she whispered, though she was shaking in fright. “Find someone else.”

“There is no one else.”

Mentally, he pushed harder, and she cried out.

“Then find someone else…who will be possessed by her,” Esmeralda whispered. “I’ll put her in someone else. But I would rather die than let her inside me again.”

Tommy was impressed by her ability to resist him. Maybe it was because she had a power of her own, he thought. Or maybe she was just incredibly stubborn.

“Okay,” Tommy said. “But then you have to come with me.”

“Yes,” she whispered, close to tears now. “Whatever you want.”

“That’s right,” Tommy said. “Whatever I want.”