Dear Reader: May I suggest that before you become too interested in whether Elliot survives the next Goblin attack, that you close this book now. Remember that chapter 15 is coming up next, and that is the very chapter in which several readers lost valuable body parts. It probably won’t happen to you, but it might, and many readers who went on to read chapter 15 later regretted it.

Take the example of Libby Frackenflower, a very smart and talented fifth grader who was the captain of her baseball team. She didn’t heed this warning. Having decided that if she could outlast the meanest teacher in fourth grade, Mrs. Pinchey, then she could certainly survive a chapter of this book.

Sadly, both of Libby’s arms fell off about three paragraphs before the end of chapter 15. Now, do not worry for Libby Frackenflower. She has become very good at swinging a baseball bat with her teeth and catching the ball with her belly button, but we feel certain that if she could go back and un-read chapter 15, she would.

You may be laughing at Libby, which isn’t polite. But if you can’t help it, then please don’t laugh while drinking hot cocoa, or else you might giggle the marshmallows right out of your nose.

Dear Reader, please stop now. Because the start of chapter 15 is going to be so good that you’ll find you’ve reached the end before you know it. And for some of you, it will be too late.