CHAPTER 11
Making Friendship
Mr. Gibson believed that Cynthia
Kirkpatrick was to return to England to be present at her mother’s
wedding; but Mrs. Kirkpatrick had no such intention. She was not
what is commonly called a woman of determination; but somehow what
she disliked she avoided, and what she liked she tried to do, or to
have. So although in the conversation, which she had already led
to, as to the when and the how she was to be married, she had
listened quietly to Mr. Gibson’s proposal that Molly and Cynthia
should be the two bridesmaids, still she had felt how disagreeable
it would be to her to have her young daughter flashing out her
beauty by the side of the faded bride, her mother; and as the
further arrangements for the wedding became more definite, she saw
further reasons in her own mind for Cynthia’s remaining quietly at
her school at Boulogne.
Mrs. Kirkpatrick had gone to bed that first night
of her engagement to Mr. Gibson, fully anticipating a speedy
marriage. She looked to it as a release from the thraldom of
keeping school—keeping an unprofitable school, with barely pupils
enough to pay for house-rent and taxes, food, washing, and the
requisite masters. She saw no reason for ever going back to
Ashcombe, except to wind up her affairs, and to pack up her
clothes. She hoped that Mr. Gibson’s ardour would be such that he
would press on the marriage, and urge her never to resume her
school drudgery, but to relinquish it now and for ever. She even
made up a very pretty, very passionate speech for him in her own
mind; quite sufficiently strong to prevail upon her and to
overthrow the scruples which she felt she ought to have, at telling
the parents of her pupils that she did not intend to resume school,
and that they must find another place of education for their
daughters, in the last week but one of the midsummer
holidays.
It was rather like a douche of cold water on Mrs.
Kirkpatrick’s plans, when the next morning at breakfast Lady Cumnor
began to decide upon the arrangements and duties of the two
middle-aged lovers.
‘Of course you can’t give up your school all at
once, Clare. The wedding can’t be before Christmas, but that will
do very well. We shall all be down at the Towers; and it will be a
nice amusement for the children to go over to Ashcombe, and see you
married.’
‘I think—I am afraid—I don’t believe Mr. Gibson
will like waiting so long; men are so impatient under these
circumstances.’
‘Oh, nonsense! Lord Cumnor has recommended you to
his tenants, and I’m sure he wouldn’t like them to be put to any
inconvenience. Mr. Gibson will see that in a moment. He’s a man of
sense, or else he wouldn’t be our family doctor. Now, what are you
going to do about your little girl? Have you fixed yet?’
‘No. Yesterday there seemed so little time, and
when one is agitated it is so difficult to think of anything.
Cynthia is nearly eighteen, old enough to go out as a governess, if
he wishes it, but I don’t think he will. He is so generous and
kind.’
‘Well! I must give you time to settle some of your
affairs to-day. Don’t waste it in sentiment, you’re too old for
that. Come to a clear understanding with each other; it will be for
your happiness in the long run.’
So they did come to a clear understanding about one
or two things. To Mrs. Kirkpatrick’s dismay, she found that Mr.
Gibson had no more idea than Lady Cumnor of her breaking faith with
the parents of her pupils. Though he really was at a serious loss
as to what was to become of Molly until she could be under the
protection of his new wife at her own home, and though his domestic
worries teased him more and more every day, he was too honourable
to think of persuading Mrs. Kirkpatrick to give up school a week
sooner than was right, for his sake. He did not even perceive how
easy the task of persuasion would be; with all her winning wiles
she could scarcely lead him to feel impatience for the wedding to
take place at Michaelmas.
‘I can hardly tell you what a comfort and relief it
will be to me, Hyacinth, when you are once my wife—the mistress of
my home—poor little Molly’s mother and protector; but I wouldn’t
interfere with your previous engagements for the world. It wouldn’t
be right.’
‘Thank you, my own love. How good you are! So many
men would think only of their own wishes and interests! I’m sure
the parents of my dear pupils will admire you—will be quite
surprised at your consideration for their interests.’
‘Don’t tell them, then. I hate being admired. Why
shouldn’t you say it is your wish to keep on your school till
they’ve had time to look out for another?’
‘Because it isn’t,’ said she, daring all. ‘I long
to be making you happy; I want to make your home a place of rest
and comfort to you; and I do so wish to cherish your sweet Molly,
as I hope to do, when I come to be her mother. I can’t take virtue
to myself which doesn’t belong to me. If I have to speak for
myself, I shall say, “Good people, find a school for your daughters
by Michaelmas,—for after that time I must go and make the happiness
of others.” I can’t bear to think of your long rides in
November—coming home wet at night, with no one to take care of you.
Oh! if you leave it to me, I shall advise the parents to take their
daughters away from the care of one whose heart will be absent.
Though I couldn’t consent to any time before Michaelmas—that
wouldn’t be fair or right, and I’m sure you wouldn’t urge me—you
are too good.’
‘Well, if you think that they will consider we have
acted uprightly by them, let it be Michaelmas with all my heart.
What does Lady Cumnor say?’
‘Oh! I told her I was afraid you wouldn’t like
waiting, because of your difficulties with your servants, and
because of Molly—it would be so desirable to enter on the new
relationship with her as soon as possible.’
‘To be sure; so it would. Poor child! I’m afraid
the intelligence of my engagement has rather startled her.’
‘Cynthia will feel it deeply, too,’ said Mrs.
Kirkpatrick, unwilling to let her daughter be behind Mr. Gibson’s
in sensibility and affection.
‘We will have her over to the wedding! She and
Molly shall be bridesmaids,’ said Mr. Gibson, in the unguarded
warmth of his heart.
This plan did not quite suit Mrs. Kirkpatrick: but
she thought it best not to oppose it until she had a presentable
excuse to give, and perhaps also some reason would naturally arise
out of future circumstances; so at this time she only smiled, and
softly pressed the hand she held in hers.
It is a question whether Mrs. Kirkpatrick or Molly
wished the most for the day to be over which they were to spend
together at the Towers. Mrs. Kirkpatrick was rather weary of girls
as a class. All the trials of her life were connected with girls in
some way. She was very young when she first became a governess, and
had been worsted in her struggles with her pupils in the first
place she ever went to. Her elegance of appearance and manner, and
her accomplishments, more than her character and acquirements, had
rendered it easier for her than for most to obtain good
‘situations’; and she had been absolutely petted in some; but still
she was constantly encountering naughty or stubborn, or
over-conscientious, or severe-judging, or curious and observant
girls. And again, before Cynthia was born she had longed for a boy,
thinking it possible that if some three or four intervening
relations died, he might come to be a baronet; and instead of a
son, lo and behold it was a daughter! Nevertheless, with all her
dislike to girls in the abstract as ‘the plagues of her life’ (and
her aversion was not diminished by the fact of her having kept a
school for ‘young ladies’ at Ashcombe), she really meant to be as
kind as she could be to her new step-daughter, whom she remembered
principally as a black-haired, sleepy child, in whose eyes she had
read admiration of herself. Mrs. Kirkpatrick accepted Mr. Gibson
principally because she was tired of the struggle of earning her
own livelihood; but she liked him personally—nay, she even loved
him in her torpid way, and she intended to be good to his daughter,
though she felt as if it would have been easier for her to have
been good to his son.
Molly was bracing herself up in her way too. ‘I
will be like Harriet. I will think of others. I won’t think of
myself,’ she kept repeating all the way to the Towers. But there
was no selfishness in wishing that the day was come to an end, and
that she did very heartily. Mrs. Hamley sent her thither in the
carriage, which was to wait and bring her back at night. Mrs.
Hamley wanted Molly to make a favourable impression, and she sent
for her to come and show herself before she set out.
‘Don’t put on your silk gown—your white muslin will
look the nicest, my dear.’
‘Not my silk? It is quite new! I had it to come
here.’
‘Still, I think your white muslin suits you the
best.’ ‘Anything but that horrid plaid silk,’ was the thought in
Mrs. Hamley’s mind; and, thanks to her, Molly set off for the
Towers, looking a little quaint, it is true, but thoroughly
ladylike, if she was old-fashioned. Her father was to meet her
there; but he had been detained, and she had to face Mrs.
Kirkpatrick by herself, the recollection of her last day of misery
at the Towers fresh in her mind as if it had been yesterday Mrs.
Kirkpatrick was as caressing as could be. She held Molly’s hand in
hers, as they sat together in the library, after the first
salutations were over. She kept stroking it from time to time, and
purring out inarticulate sounds of loving satisfaction, as she
gazed in the blushing face.
‘What eyes! so like your dear father’s! How we
shall love each other—shan’t we, darling? For his sake!’
‘I’ll try,’ said Molly, bravely; and then she could
not finish her sentence.
‘And you’ve just got the same beautiful black
curling hair!’ said Mrs. Kirkpatrick, softly lifting one of Molly’s
curls from off her white temple.
‘Papa’s hair is growing grey,’ said Molly.
‘Is it? I never see it. I never shall see it. He
will always be to me the handsomest of men.’
Mr. Gibson was really a very handsome man, and
Molly was pleased with the compliment; but she could not help
saying—
‘Still, he will grow old, and his hair will grow
grey. I think he will be just as handsome, but it won’t be as a
young man.’
‘Ah! that’s just it. He’ll always be handsome; some
people always are. And he is so fond of you, dear.’ Molly’s colour
flushed into her face. She did not want an assurance of her own
father’s love from this strange woman. She could not help being
angry; all she could do was to keep silent. ‘You don’t know how he
speaks of you; “his little treasure,” as he calls you. I’m almost
jealous sometimes.’
Molly took her hand away, and her heart began to
harden; these speeches were so discordant to her. But she set her
teeth together, and ‘tried to be good.’
‘We must make him so happy. I’m afraid he has had a
great deal to annoy him at home; but we will do away with all that
now. You must tell me,’ seeing the cloud in Molly’s eyes, ‘what he
likes and dislikes, for of course you will know.’
Molly’s face cleared a little; of course she did
know. She had not watched and loved him so long without believing
that she understood him better than any one else: though how he had
come to like Mrs. Kirkpatrick enough to wish to marry her was an
unsolved problem that she unconsciously put aside as inexplicable.
Mrs. Kirkpatrick went on—‘All men have their fancies and
antipathies, even the wisest. I have known some gentlemen annoyed
beyond measure by the merest trifles; leaving a door open, or
spilling tea in their saucers, or a shawl crookedly put on. Why,’
continued she, lowering her voice, ‘I know of a house to which Lord
Hollingford will never be asked again because he didn’t wipe his
shoes on both the mats in the hall! Now you must tell me what your
dear father dislikes most in these fanciful ways, and I shall take
care to avoid it. You must be my little friend and helper in
pleasing him. It will be such a pleasure to me to attend to his
slightest fancies. About my dress, too—what colours does he like
best? I want to do everything in my power with a view to his
approval.’
Molly was gratified by all this, and began to think
that really, after all, perhaps her father had done well for
himself; and that, if she could help towards his new happiness, she
ought to do it. So she tried very conscientiously to think over Mr.
Gibson’s wishes and ways; to ponder over what annoyed him the most
in his household.
‘I think,’ said she, ‘papa isn’t particular about
many things; but I think our not having the dinner quite
punctual—quite ready for him when he comes in—fidgets him more than
anything. You see, he has often had a long ride, and there is
another long ride to come, and he has only half an hour—sometimes
only a quarter—to eat his dinner in.’
‘Thank you, my own love. Punctuality! Yes; it’s a
great thing in a household. It’s what I’ve had to enforce with my
young ladies in Ashcombe. No wonder poor dear Mr. Gibson has been
displeased at his dinner not being ready, and he so hard
worked!’
‘Papa doesn’t care what he has, if it’s only ready.
He would take bread and cheese, if cook would only send it in
instead of dinner.’
‘Bread and cheese! Does Mr. Gibson eat
cheese?’
‘Yes; he’s very fond of it,’ said Molly innocently.
‘I’ve known him eat toasted cheese when he has been too tired to
fancy anything else.’
‘Oh! but, my dear, we must change all that. I
shouldn’t like to think of your father eating cheese; it’s such a
strong-smelling coarse kind of thing. We must get him a cook who
can toss him up an omelette, or something elegant. Cheese is only
fit for the kitchen.’
‘Papa is very fond of it,’ persevered Molly.
‘Oh! but we will cure him of that. I couldn’t bear
the smell of cheese; and I’m sure he would be sorry to annoy
me.’
Molly was silent; it did not do, she found, to be
too minute in telling about her father’s likes and dislikes. She
had better leave them for Mrs. Kirkpatrick to find out for herself.
It was an awkward pause; each was trying to find something
agreeable to say. Molly spoke at length. ‘Please! I should so like
to know something about Cynthia—your daughter.’
‘Yes, call her Cynthia. It’s a pretty name, isn’t
it? Cynthia Kirkpatrick. Not so pretty, though, as my old name,
Hyacinth Clare. People used to say it suited me so well. I must
show you an acrostic a gentleman—he was a lieutenant in the
53rd—made upon it. Oh! we shall have a great deal to say to each
other, I foresee!’
‘But about Cynthia?’
‘Oh, yes! about dear Cynthia. What do you want to
know, my dear?’
‘Papa said she was to live with us! When will she
come?’
‘Oh, was it not sweet of your kind father? I
thought of nothing else but Cynthia’s going out as a governess when
she had completed her education; she has been brought up for it,
and has had great advantages. But good dear Mr. Gibson wouldn’t
hear of it. He said yesterday that she must come and live with us
when she left school.’
‘When will she leave school?’
‘She went for two years. I don’t think I must let
her leave before next summer. She teaches English as well as
learning French. Next summer she shall come home, and then shan’t
we be a happy little quartette?’
‘I hope so,’ said Molly. ‘But she is to come to the
wedding, isn’t she?’ she went on timidly, not knowing how far Mrs.
Kirkpatrick would like the allusion to her marriage.
‘Your father has begged for her to come; but we
must think about it a little more before quite fixing it. The
journey is a great expense!’
‘Is she like you? I do so want to see her.’
‘She is very handsome, people say In the
bright-coloured style—perhaps something like what I was. But I like
the dark-haired foreign kind of beauty best—just now,’ touching
Molly’s hair, and looking at her with an expression of sentimental
remembrance.
‘Does Cynthia—is she very clever and accomplished?’
asked Molly, a little afraid lest the answer should remove Miss
Kirkpatrick at too great a distance from her.
‘She ought to be; I’ve paid ever so much money to
have her taught by the best masters. But you will see her before
long, and I’m afraid we must go now to Lady Cumnor. It has been
very charming having you all to myself, but I know Lady Cumnor will
be expecting us now, and she was very curious to see you—my future
daughter, as she calls you.’
Molly followed Mrs. Kirkpatrick into the
morning-room, where Lady Cumnor was sitting—a little annoyed
because, having completed her toilette earlier than usual, Clare
had not been aware by instinct of the fact, and so had not brought
Molly Gibson for inspection a quarter of an hour before. Every
small occurrence is an event in the day of a convalescent invalid,
and a little while ago Molly would have met with patronizing
appreciation, where now she had to encounter criticism. Of Lady
Cumnor’s character as an individual she knew nothing; she only knew
she was going to see and be seen by a live countess; nay, more, by
‘the countess’ of Hollingford.
Mrs. Kirkpatrick led her into Lady Cumnor’s
presence by the hand, and, in presenting her, said—‘My dear little
daughter, Lady Cumnor!’
‘Now, Clare, don’t let me have nonsense. She is not
your daughter yet, and may never be—I believe that one-third of the
engagements I have heard of have never come to marriages. Miss
Gibson, I am very glad to see you, for your father’s sake; when I
know you better, I hope it will be for your own.’
Molly very heartily hoped that she might never be
known any better by the stern-looking lady who sat so uprightly in
the easy-chair, prepared for lounging, and which therefore gave all
the more effect to the stiff attitude. Lady Cumnor luckily took
Molly’s silence for acquiescent humility, and went on speaking
after a further little pause of inspection.
‘Yes, yes, I like her looks, Clare. You may make
something of her. It will be a great advantage to you, my dear, to
have a lady who has trained up several young people of quality
always about you just at the time when you are growing up. I’ll
tell you what, Clare!’—a sudden thought striking her—‘you and she
must become better acquainted—you know nothing of each other at
present; you are not to be married till Christmas, and what could
be better than that she should go back with you to Ashcombe! She
would be with you constantly, and have the advantage of the
companionship of your young people, which would be a good thing for
an only child! It’s a capital plan; I’m very glad I thought of
it!’
Now it would be difficult to say which of Lady
Cumnor’s two hearers was the most dismayed at the idea which had
taken possession of her. Mrs. Kirkpatrick had no fancy for being
encumbered with a stepdaughter before her time. If Molly came to be
an inmate of her house, farewell to many little background
economies, and a still more serious farewell to many little
indulgences, that were innocent enough in themselves, but which
Mrs. Kirkpatrick’s former life had caused her to look upon as sins
to be concealed: the dirty dog’s-eared delightful novel from the
Ashcombe circulating library, the leaves of which she turned over
with a pair of scissors; the lounging-chair which she had for use
at her own home, straight and upright as she sat now in Lady
Cumnor’s presence; the dainty morsel, savoury and small, to which
she treated herself for her own solitary supper—all these and many
other similarly pleasant things would have to be forgone if Molly
came to be her pupil, parlour-boarder, or visitor, as Lady Cumnor
was planning. One—two things Clare was instinctively resolved upon:
to be married at Michaelmas, and not to have Molly at Ashcombe. But
she smiled as sweetly as if the plan proposed was the most charming
project in the world, while all the time her poor brains were
beating about in every bush for the reasons or excuses of which she
could make use at some future time. Molly, however, saved her all
this trouble. It was a question which of the three was the most
surprised by the words which burst out of her lips. She did not
mean to speak, but her heart was very full, and almost before she
was aware of her thought she heard herself saying—
‘I don’t think it would be nice at all. I mean, my
lady, that I should dislike it very much; it would be taking me
away from papa just these very few last months. I will like you,’
she went on, her eyes full of tears; and, turning to Mrs.
Kirkpatrick, she put her hand into her future stepmother’s with the
prettiest and most trustful action. ‘I will try hard to love you,
and to do all I can to make you happy; but you must not take me
away from papa just this very last bit of time that I shall have
him.’
Mrs. Kirkpatrick fondled the hand thus placed in
hers, and was grateful to the girl for her outspoken opposition to
Lady Cumnor’s plan. Clare was, however, exceedingly unwilling to
back up Molly by any words of her own until Lady Cumnor had spoken
and given the cue. But there was something in Molly’s little
speech, or in her straightforward manner, that amused instead of
irritating Lady Cumnor in her present mood. Perhaps she was tired
of the silkiness with which she had been shut up for so many
days.
She put up her glasses, and looked at them both
before speaking. Then she said—‘Upon my word, young lady! Why,
Clare, you’ve got your work before you! Not but what there is a
good deal of truth in what she says. It must be very disagreeable
to a girl of her age to have a stepmother coming in between her
father and herself, whatever may be the advantages to her in the
long run.’
Molly almost felt as if she could make a friend of
the stiff old countess, for her clearness of sight as to the plan
proposed being a trial; but she was afraid, in her new-born desire
of thinking for others, of Mrs. Kirkpatrick being hurt. She need
not have feared, as far as outward signs went, for the smile was
still on that lady’s pretty rosy lips, and the soft fondling of her
hand never stopped. Lady Cumnor was more interested in Molly the
more she looked at her; and her gaze was pretty steady through her
gold-rimmed eye-glasses. She began a sort of catechism: a string of
very straightforward questions, such as any lady under the rank of
countess might have scrupled to ask, but which were not unkindly
meant.
‘You are sixteen, are you not?’
‘No; I am seventeen. My birthday was three weeks
ago.’
‘Very much the same thing, I should think. Have you
ever been to school?’
‘No, never! Miss Eyre has taught me everything I
know.’
‘Umph! Miss Eyre was your governess, I suppose? I
should not have thought your father could have afforded to keep a
governess. But of course he must know his own affairs best.’
‘Certainly, my lady,’ replied Molly, a little
touchy as to any reflections on her father’s wisdom.
‘You say “certainly!” as if it was a matter of
course that every one should know their own affairs best. You are
very young, Miss Gibson—very. You’ll know better before you come to
my age. And I suppose you’ve been taught music, and the use of
globes, and French, and all the usual accomplishments, since you
have had a governess? I never heard of such nonsense!’ she went on,
lashing herself up. ‘An only daughter! If there had been half a
dozen, there might have been some sense in it.’
Molly did not speak, but it was by a strong effort
that she kept silence. Mrs. Kirkpatrick fondled her hand more
perseveringly than ever, hoping thus to express a sufficient amount
of sympathy to prevent her from saying anything injudicious. But
the caress had become wearisome to Molly, and only irritated her
nerves. She took her hand out of Mrs. Kirkpatrick’s, with a slight
manifestation of impatience.
It was, perhaps, fortunate for the general peace
that just at this moment Mr. Gibson was announced. It is odd enough
to see how the entrance of a person of the opposite sex into an
assemblage of either men or women calms down the little
discordances and the disturbance of mood. It was the case now; at
Mr. Gibson’s entrance my lady took off her glasses, and smoothed
her brow; Mrs. Kirkpatrick managed to get up a very becoming blush,
and as for Molly, her face glowed with delight, and the white teeth
and pretty dimples came out like sunlight on a landscape.
Of course, after the first greeting, my lady had to
have a private interview with her doctor; and Molly and her future
stepmother wandered about in the gardens with their arms round each
other’s waists, or hand in hand, like two babes in the wood; Mrs.
Kirkpatrick active in such endearments, Molly passive, and feeling
within herself very shy and strange; for she had that particular
kind of shy modesty which makes any one uncomfortable at receiving
caresses from a person towards whom the heart does not go forth
with an impulsive welcome.
Then, came the early dinner; Lady Cumnor having
hers in the quiet of her own room, to which she was still a
prisoner. Once or twice during the meal, the idea crossed Molly’s
mind that her father disliked his position as a middle-aged lover
being made so evident to the men in waiting as it was by Mrs.
Kirkpatrick’s affectionate speeches and innuendoes. He tried to
banish every tint of pink sentimentalism from the conversation, and
to confine it to matter of fact; and when Mrs. Kirkpatrick would
persevere in referring to such things as had a bearing on the
future relationship of the parties, he insisted upon viewing them
in the most matter-of-fact way; and this continued even after the
men had left the room. An old rime Molly had heard Betty use would
keep running in her head and making her uneasy—
Two is company
Three is trumpery.
Three is trumpery.
But where could she go to in that strange house?
What ought she to do? She was roused from this fit of wonder and
abstraction by her father’s saying—‘What do you think of this plan
of Lady Cumnor’s? She says she was advising you to have Molly as a
visitor at Ashcombe until we are married.’
Mrs. Kirkpatrick’s countenance fell. If only Molly
would be so good as to testify again, as she had done before Lady
Cumnor! But if the proposal was made by her father, it would come
to his daughter from a different quarter than it had done from a
strange lady, be she ever so great. Molly did not say anything; she
only looked pale, and wistful, and anxious. Mrs. Kirkpatrick had to
speak for herself
‘It would be a charming plan, only—Well! we know
why we would rather not have it, don’t we, love? And we won’t tell
papa, for fear of making him vain. No! I think I must leave her
with you, dear Mr. Gibson, for a tête-à-tête for these last
few weeks. It would be cruel to take her away’
‘But you know, my dear, I told you of the reason
why it does not do to have Molly at home just at present,’ said Mr.
Gibson eagerly. For the more he knew of his future wife, the more
he felt it necessary to remember that, with all her foibles, she
would be able to stand between Molly and any such adventures as
that which had occurred lately with Mr. Coxe; so that one of the
good reasons for the step he had taken was always present to him,
while it had slipped off the smooth surface of Mrs. Kirkpatrick’s
mirror-like mind without leaving any impression. She now recalled
it, on seeing Mr. Gibson’s anxious face.
But what were Molly’s feelings at these last words
of her father’s? She had been sent from home for some reason, kept
a secret from her but told to this strange woman. Was there to be
perfect confidence between these two and she to be for ever shut
out? Was she, and what concerned her—though how she did not know—to
be discussed between them for the future, and she to be kept in the
dark? A bitter pang of jealousy made her heart-sick. She might as
well go to Ashcombe, or anywhere else, now. Thinking more of
others’ happiness than of her own was very fine; but did it not
mean giving up her very individuality, quenching all the warm love,
the true desires, that made her herself Yet in this deadness lay
her only comfort; or so it seemed. Wandering in such mazes, she
hardly knew how the conversation went on; a third was indeed
‘trumpery,’ where there was entire confidence between the two who
were company, from which the other was shut out. She was positively
unhappy, and her father did not appear to see it; he was absorbed
with his new plans and his new wife that was to be. But he did
notice it; and was truly sorry for his little girl: only he thought
that there was a greater chance for the future harmony of the
household if he did not lead Molly to define her present feelings
by putting them into words. It was his general plan to repress
emotion by not showing the sympathy he felt. Yet, when he had to
leave, he took Molly’s hand in his, and held it there, in such a
different manner to that in which Mrs. Kirkpatrick had done; and
his voice softened to his child as he bade her good-bye and added
the words (most unusual to him), ‘God bless you, child!’
Molly had held up all the day bravely; she had not
shown anger, or repugnance, or annoyance, or regret; but, when once
more by herself in the Hamley carriage, she burst into a passion of
tears, and cried her fill till she reached the village of Hamley.
Then she tried in vain to smooth her face into smiles, and do away
with the other signs of her grief. She only hoped she could run
upstairs to her own room without notice, and bathe her eyes in cold
water before she was seen. But at the hall-door she was caught by
the squire and Roger coming in from an after-dinner stroll in the
garden, and hospitably anxious to help her to alight. Roger saw the
state of things in an instant, and saying—
‘My mother has been looking for you to come back
for this last hour,’ he led the way to the drawing-room. But Mrs.
Hamley was not there; the squire had stopped to speak to the
coachman about one of the horses; they two were alone. Roger
said—
‘I am afraid you have had a very trying day. I have
thought of you several times, for I know how awkward these new
relations are.’
‘Thank you,’ said she, her lips trembling, and on
the point of crying again. ‘I did try to remember what you said,
and to think more of others, but it is so difficult sometimes; you
know it is, don’t you?’
‘Yes,’ said he, gravely. He was gratified by her
simple confession of having borne his words of advice in mind, and
tried to act up to them. He was but a very young man, and he was
honestly flattered; perhaps this led him on to offer more advice,
and this time it was evidently mingled with sympathy. He did not
want to draw out her confidence, which he felt might very easily be
done with such a simple girl, but he wished to help her by giving
her a few of the principles on which he had learnt to rely. ‘It is
difficult,’ he went on, ‘but by and by you will be so much happier
for it.’
‘No, I shan’t!’ said Molly, shaking her head. ‘It
will be very dull when I shall have killed myself, as it were, and
live only in trying to do, and to be, as other people like. I don’t
see any end to it. I might as well never have lived. And as for the
happiness you speak of, I shall never be happy again.’
There was an unconscious depth in what she said,
that Roger did not know how to answer at the moment; it was easier
to address himself to the assertion of the girl of seventeen, that
she should never be happy again.
‘Nonsense: perhaps in ten years’ time you will be
looking back on the trial as a very light one—who knows?’
‘I dare say it seems foolish; perhaps all our
earthly trials will appear foolish to us after a while; perhaps
they seem so now to angels. But we are ourselves, you know, and
this is now, not some time to come, a long, long way off. And we
are not angels, to be comforted by seeing the ends for which
everything is sent.’
She had never spoken so long a sentence to him
before; and when she had said it, though she did not take her eyes
away from his, as they stood steadily looking at each other, she
blushed a little; she could not have told why. Nor did he tell
himself why a sudden pleasure came over him as he gazed at her
simple, expressive face—and for a moment lost the sense of what she
was saying, in the sensation of pity for her sad earnestness. In an
instant more he was himself again. Only it is pleasant to the
wisest, most reasonable youth of one or two-and-twenty to find
himself looked up to as a mentor by a girl of seventeen.
‘I know, I understand. Yes: it is now we have to do
with. Don’t let us go into metaphysics.’ Molly opened her eyes wide
at this. Had she been talking metaphysics without knowing it? ‘One
looks forward to a mass of trials, which will only have to be
encountered one by one, little by little. Oh, here is my mother!
she will tell you better than I can.
And the tête-à-tête was merged in a trio. Mrs.
Hamley lay down; she had not been well all day—she had missed
Molly, she said—and now she wanted to hear of all the adventures
that had occurred to the girl at the Towers. Molly sat on a stool
close to the head of the sofa, and Roger, though at first he took
up a book and tried to read that he might be no restraint, soon
found his reading all a pretence: it was so interesting to listen
to Molly’s little narrative, and, besides, if he could give her any
help in her time of need, was it not his duty to make himself
acquainted with all the circumstances of her case?
And so they went on during all the remaining time
of Molly’s stay at Hamley. Mrs. Hamley sympathized, and liked to
hear details; as the French say, her sympathy was given en
detail, the squire’s en gros. He was very sorry for her
evident grief, and almost felt guilty, as if he had had a share in
bringing it about, by the mention he had made of the possibility of
Mr. Gibson’s marrying again, when first Molly came on her visit to
them. He said to his wife more than once:
“Pon my word now, I wish I’d never spoken those
unlucky words that first day at dinner. Do you remember how she
took them up? It was like a prophecy of what was to
come, now, wasn’t it? And she looked pale from that day, and I
don’t think she has ever fairly enjoyed her food since. I must take
more care what I say for the future. Not but what Gibson is doing
the very best thing, both for himself and her, that he can do. I
told him so only yesterday. But I’m very sorry for the little girl,
though. I wish I’d never spoken about it, that I do! but it was
like a prophecy, wasn’t it?’
Roger tried hard to find out a reasonable and right
method of comfort; for he, too, in his way, was sorry for the girl,
who bravely struggled to be cheerful, in spite of her own private
grief, for his mother’s sake. He felt as if high principle and
noble precept ought to perform an immediate work. But they do not,
for there is always the unknown quantity of individual experience
and feeling, which offer a tacit resistance, the amount
incalculable by another, to all good counsel and high decree. But
the bond between the Mentor and his Telemachusal
strengthened every day. He endeavoured to lead her out of morbid
thought into interest in other than personal things; and, naturally
enough, his own objects of interests came readiest to hand. She
felt that he did her good, she did not know why or how; but after a
talk with him she always fancied that she had got the clue to
goodness and peace, whatever befell.