CHAPTER 29

Alice was one step shy of insanity. How can I choose?

She could turn the gun on Ackerman, but what if he didn’t load the gun this time either. They would all be dead for sure. Her mind was a hurricane of questions for which there were no answers, a maelstrom of confusion that thrashed with such violence that it threatened to rip her apart from the inside out.

“Excuse me, Alice,” Ackerman said, as if he were asking her to pass the salt. “I don’t mean to convey the impression that I’m not thoroughly enjoying our little game or watching you sit there trying to bring order to all this chaos, but can we please speed this up a bit? I do have a few other things I planned on accomplishing this evening.” In the same calm, nonchalant manner, he added, “And if you don’t hurry up, I may do something that you’ll regret.”

She dropped the gun and wept.

“Shut up!” Ackerman pounded his fist against the table.

She could see his anger rising, hellfire creeping into his eyes.

“You’re going to pick up that gun and play the game. Do you want to know the true meaning of suffering, Alice? If you don’t pick up that gun, I’m going to show you. Now pick it up.”

Out of pure fear, she reached down and retrieved the gun.

“Good. Now I’ll save you the trouble of your next decision. Your son goes next. Point the gun at him and pull the trigger.”

She pointed the gun at her son.

She put her finger on the trigger.

She tried to numb the horrible sensations that crept over her consciousness and convoluted her capacity for coherent thought. Once again, she tried to rationalize the situation and tell herself that the only hope of saving any of their lives was to do as she was told. But like almost every other difficult decision faced in life, there was no black-and-white, clear-cut answer.

“Pull the trigger. Death is not the execution. It’s the pardon. Murder is an act of mercy. It’s the amnesty granted to spare someone the burden of living a life of pain and anguish. The world is chaos. Life is pain. Release him, Alice. Pull the trigger.”

She wouldn’t do it. She couldn’t do it. There has to be a way out of this. There has to be. Then, it came to her.

The devil that had violated her world required a sacrifice of blood and would not be appeased until the debt had been paid. So, I’ll sacrifice myself.

Her only hope was that her death would not be in vain and that, by her actions, her children would be spared.

She pointed the gun at her own head and pulled the trigger.