Grandma tapped on my door.
One of the downsides to having a grandma who used to be a social worker is that she’s really into talking. She’s not happy unless I’m blathering on about my feelings. She’s always coming into my room so we can have these heart-to-heart talks. It’s not that I don’t appreciate it, but with my Lauren issues off the table for the discussion, I think she wanted me to have some new and interesting problem she could sink her teeth into. Sometimes I thought about making something up, like telling her I’d been considering a gender reassignment, just so we’d have something new to talk about. Grandma tapped on the door again and leaned her head into my room.
“There’s someone at the front door for you.”
I sat bolt upright in bed. “Someone for me?”
“Yes, it appears someone has discovered your lair despite your hermitlike existence.”
I rolled my eyes and loped downstairs, hoping it wasn’t Lauren. She would recognize my grandma for sure. Brenda was on the stoop holding a basket. She held it out.
“I made you cookies,” she said.
I took the basket and looked inside. Chocolate chip, from the look of things.
“Why?”
“For helping me out, with the play and stuff. Plus I needed to talk to you. Ms. Herbaut called me at home. She’s offering me the role of Eliza,” Brenda said, fidgeting back and forth.
“Oh my God, that’s great!” I did a small dance on our front step, mentally checking off another box on the revenge plan. This news was soooo worth the berry spew. I couldn’t wait to see Lauren’s face when she heard the news.
“I told her I wasn’t sure if I wanted it,” Brenda said, and my dance stopped mid-jig.
“You would be an amazing Eliza. What aren’t you sure about?”
“It’s just that drama means so much to some people, you know. Drama is their thing. I don’t really care about it—it’s just something to put on my transcript.”
“So that you can be an astronaut, which is your thing,” I pointed out. I took a bite out of a cookie and tried to think of a logical argument that would appeal to Brenda. “What made you worry about this anyway?”
“Christopher. He interviewed me for his film after tryouts and he kept talking about how important it was to some people, how it was their dream, and I started to think maybe it doesn’t matter if I do the play or not, or I could do a small part.”
“Are you worried about Lauren? Trust me, she wouldn’t worry about you.” I wondered what Lauren had said to him during her interview. I bet she did that thing where she licked her lips when she talked. I hoped he was smart enough not to fall for that, but with guys you never know. They don’t always do their thinking with their brains.
“Doesn’t mean I shouldn’t still do the right thing. Ms. H. says if I don’t want the lead, she would want me to be the understudy for Eliza. I would still have something to put on my transcript, so it sort of meets my goals.”
I didn’t say anything. One more person who could play second fiddle to Lauren. I was so close. I had thrown up in my purse, for crying out loud, and now she wasn’t sure she wanted this? My mind scrambled around trying to think of a reason why Brenda should take the role that didn’t involve admitting that the whole thing was about Lauren.
“I think it’s cool you’re thinking of everyone else,” I said. Brenda broke into a huge smile. “But …”—my voice trailed off and Brenda’s face dropped—“I have to ask if you’re sure you’re turning down the part for the right reasons.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve admitted that you hate being in front of groups. Are you sure you aren’t backing down because you’re scared?”
“Yeah, being in front of all those people freaks me out. But it’s more than that. Why should I do it if the whole thing isn’t that important to me?”
“Because challenging yourself is the important thing. I mean, don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re the kind of person who stays in your comfort zone. Look, you weren’t sure if you wanted to cut your hair, right? You didn’t care about it, so why bother? Right?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“And now that you cut it, are you glad you did?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, this is like the haircut. Sometimes you aren’t always sure why a challenge will make a difference, but you won’t know until you take the leap.”
“Take the leap, huh?”
“Full speed ahead, captain. If it turns out you hate doing the play, it’s not like you have to do theater again, but how will you know if it’s your thing unless you do it? Push yourself, gain the confidence.” I realized I was starting to sound like one of those tacky motivational speakers so I shut up and hoped it worked.
“Do you really think I should?” Brenda asked.
“One hundred percent.”
Brenda took a deep breath. “Okay, I’ll do it.”
“You will?”
Brenda laughed. “Don’t sound so surprised. I trust you. If you think it’s a good idea, I’ll do it.” The cookie I had eaten moments ago suddenly felt too big for my stomach. I tried to give her a reassuring smile. “I suspect Christopher will also be thrilled,” she said. “I think ‘science nerd-girl takes the lead’ is good for his documentary.”
“Not nerd girl, science-whiz woman,” I countered.
“He asked me about you.”
“What?”
“Well, that got your attention,” said Brenda.
“Seriously, did he ask about me?”
“Yes, seriously, he did.” Brenda picked a cookie out of the basket and began to nibble daintily on it. I tried to act like I didn’t care what Christopher said. I managed to hold out for about three seconds.
“Are you going to tell me what he said?”
Brenda broke into a smile. “He thought it was cool you helped me with the audition. He wanted to know more about you, that kind of thing.”
“What did you tell him?” I asked.
“I told him you were an international spy living undercover.”
“What?”
Brenda laughed. “No, I didn’t say that. I told him that you were a hard person to figure out. Complex. You’re like a black hole or the space-time continuum.”
“I’ve never been compared to a celestial event before.”
“You defy typical comparisons. He also mentioned that the theater on the strip runs classic movies on Tuesday nights. He goes every week. In case I knew anyone who, you know, might be interested.”
I felt my heart pick up speed. “He did, huh?”
“Yep.” Brenda stepped down from the stoop. “I have to get going. I need to call Ms. H. back.”
I sat on the stoop after she left. There was a part of me that wanted to drop the revenge thing—stop the lies and all the sneaking around so I could hang out with Brenda, have fun with the play, maybe watch some classic movies with Christopher.
I closed my eyes and remembered the moment I knew it was Lauren who had told the lie about me. I remembered how she looked in her backyard, her hair pulled back in a ponytail and the smug expression on her face. I remembered the instant that our friendship ended and that she hadn’t cried a single tear over the whole thing. I thought about how she spun from one success to another and never took the time to think about the knife she’d stabbed in my back. It was time to put the heavy artillery into action. Lauren deserved to pay. What I wanted for my life wasn’t important. Justice was on the line.