ELEVEN

“Get your hands off me.”  I warned Justin.

“Oh, okay.  I see you just wanted to use me and now we are done?  Fine with me.  All I wanted was to get him back for yesterday anyway.”

I walked away from Justin before I completely lost my mind.

I ignored everything and everyone that day.  Jess even made some remark about me spending like three seconds with Hunter and starting to act like him…socially challenged, as she put it.  I told her I was just having a bad day and she finally left me alone.

Same thing at home… I told Kelly I had too much homework and that was enough to be left alone.

I was in my room watching TV when I finally started to doze off.

The sudden temperature drop and his finger running through my hair were enough to startle me.

I quickly got up and moved to the other side of the room,  “What do you want?”

“Ah, Kayla!”  That was the first time he had ever said my name, and I hated the way he said it.  “Un-patient just like your daddy…”

“Andrew is not…”

He laughed.  “I’m not talking about your adoptive father.”

I froze in place.

He came closer to me and I took a few steps back.  He kept moving forward until I was trapped against the wall.  He stopped inches away from me… looking as if he was able to see right through me.

“Don’t worry, we will talk more about your daddy....  Just when the time is right.”

He vanished and I just sat on the floor and started to cry.

Another night spent fully awake.  Only this time, I couldn’t even think straight.  I was just afraid of seeing him again. 

I drank coffee, a lot of coffee.

I didn’t go to school the next day.  I told Kelly I wasn’t feeling well and with the lack of sleep, it sure seemed believable.

I wandered around the house, trying to find things to do that would keep me from sleeping. 

I wasn’t sure how long exactly someone could go without sleep before they started having hallucinations, but two days and nights with no sleep were enough to convince Dr. Moulder that I needed serious help.

That afternoon I had my second session.  I tried to get out of it, but Kelly insisted on me keeping that appointment.  She drove me there herself and I was too tired to fight it.

I sat on the couch across from Dr. Moulder as she asked if there was anything in particular bothering me and if I wanted to talk about it.

She didn’t hide her smile when I said there was something bothering me and agreed to talk about it.

Her smile quickly faded when I told her that the something that I wanted to talk about was, well, that I thought he was a ghost.  Benjamin never showed up; he never materialized anyway, he was probably just watching us somehow and laughing.  Overcome by exhaustion I told her everything.  I told her that Benjamin had mentioned my dad, my biological dad, I told her about the threats to Hunter.

“Kayla, do you see Benjamin right now?”

“No.”

“Why do you think he shows up when you plan on talking to Hunter about him, but not while you are talking to me about him?”

I shrugged.  Eventually, after I got some sleep I would have realized that was because Hunter believed me and no one else would.  Unfortunately I would come to realize that a little too late.

We talked.  Dr. Moulder took lots of notes and after finding out that I wasn’t getting any sleep she prescribed me some sleeping pills and more frequent sessions to get a better diagnosis.  Honestly, I think that the clear lack of sleep and what that was doing to me, was the only reason she didn’t try and have me committed.

Kelly didn’t say much on the drive home, but it was clear that she was concerned.

“You shouldn’t worry about me this much, Kelly.  It is probably not good for the baby.”

We had just pulled up on the driveway when I told her that.

“Oh, Kayla, honey!  You know you are just as important as the baby and worrying about your kids is part of being a mom.”  She pulled me into a hug.  “I just wish you would have come to me or Andrew if you were curious about your biological parents.”

Clearly, Dr. Moulder must have come to that conclusion.  “I didn’t say I was…”

She cut me off.

“Kayla, this is clearly bothering you, especially if you are actually losing sleep over it.  We will talk about it some more after Andrew gets home.  Right now I want you to go inside and take one of those pills that the doctor prescribed.”

Too tired to even think about it, I went inside, took the pill and slept like a baby.

I actually slept for over 12 hours. Luckily that was a Friday and I didn’t have to worry about school and seeing Hunter, at least not until Monday.

The weekend was actually as normal as it could get.  I went to the movies with Emily and Jessica, after they both agreed that Hunter and Justin should not be at all discussed on our day out.  I went shopping with Kelly for baby stuff…my suggestion.  Kelly actually had not mentioned anything else about my biological parents, but I could tell she was avoiding it.  Yet, she was just waiting for me to ask, and I was curious to finding out what all Kelly and Andrew knew about them, but it just didn’t feel right bringing it up.

I did have to keep taking the sleeping pills… Kelly insisted on that.

It had been days since I had any contact with Benjamin.  I also hadn’t had any contact with Carolyn and after a while I just thought that was for the best.  With Carolyn gone, if Benjamin didn’t show up again and I hoped he didn’t, I figured my life would go back to normal in no time… Looking back, I wonder if denial was a side effect of those pills…