CHAPTER 17
79
“Missiles? Don’t make me laugh.”
Ford tapped Zaphod on the shoulder and pointed at the rear screen. Clear in the distance behind them two silver darts were climbing through the atmosphere towards the ship. A quick change of magnification brought them into close focus – two massively real rockets thundering through the sky. The suddenness of it was shocking.
“I think they’re going to have a very good try at applying to us,” said Ford.
Zaphod stared at them in astonishment.
“Hey this is terrific!” he said. “Someone down there is trying to kill us!”
“Terrific,” said Arthur.
“But don’t you see what this means?”
“Yes. We’re going to die.”
“Yes, but apart from that.”
“Apart from that?”
“It means we must be on to something!”
“How soon can we get off it?”
Second by second the image of the missiles on the screen became larger. They had swung round now on to a direct homing course so that all that could be seen of them now was the warheads, head on.
“As a matter of interest,” said Trillian, “what are we going to do?”
“Just keep cool,” said Zaphod.
“Is that all?” shouted Arthur.
“No, we’re also going to. . . er. . . take evasive action!” said Zaphod with a sudden access of panic. “Computer, what evasive action can we take?”
“Er, none I’m afraid, guys,” said the computer.
“. . . or something. . . ”, said Zaphod, “er. . . ” he said.
“There seems to be something jamming my guidance system,” explained the computer brightly, “impact minus forty-five seconds. Please call me Eddie if it will help you to relax.”
Zaphod tried to run in several equally decisive directions simultaneously.
“Right!” he said. “Er. . . we’ve got to get manual control of this ship.”
“Can you fly her?” asked Ford pleasantly.
“No, can you?”
“No.”
“Trillian, can you?”
“No.”
“Fine,” said Zaphod, relaxing. “We’ll do it together.”
“I can’t either,” said Arthur, who felt it was time he began to assert himself.
“I’d guessed that,” said Zaphod. “OK computer, I want full manual control now.”
“You got it,” said the computer.
79