Aiden took a deep breath, then knocked on the door.
“Come in.”
He felt like an interloper as he entered. “Pastor, we met — ”
“I remember.” The pastor waved Aiden inside.
No cheesy smiles, nothing even remotely resembling a salesman selling something. The pastor gestured to the chair in front of his desk.
“I’m Aiden.” No last name. “I came to see the mural again.”
“Go ahead.”
It kicked Aiden in the gut, just like before, actual physical pain. He never expected it from a mere picture. “Who painted it?”
“Another church commissioned an artist to paint it for their sanctuary, but the result was . . . a little too shocking. So I bought it.”
“Why?”
“You know why.” The pastor’s matter-of-fact voice remained neutral. “You’re the one who came back to look at it.”
Aiden couldn’t stop. He shuffled his feet. “I — ”
“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to. I don’t mind if you want to just look at it again.”
Sincerity in this man’s eyes. Aiden suddenly realized how different that was. He always felt closed. Controlled. “What do you feel when you look at it? Do you get used to it?”
The man’s eyes saddened as he looked at the picture. “I don’t get used to it. I pray I never do.”
Aiden didn’t say anything. He reached out a hand to trace a nail biting into his flesh.
“Christ’s pain should always be my pain. I should never forget. I never want to. I want to keep reaching out to other people in pain.” He sighed. “It doesn’t always work that way. I fail more than I succeed.”
“Why try?”
“Because I can’t afford not to. Look at Him.” He stretched out his hands as if beseeching the picture. “He wouldn’t give up.”
Aiden shook his head. “He doesn’t make sense to me.”
The pastor shrugged. “He does when you believe. That’s all I can tell you.”
“That makes even less sense.”
He sat back down in his chair. “Take a couple days and think about it. Come back and tell me what you think.”
“You’ll just argue with me.”
“I won’t.” And he hadn’t, not the entire time Aiden had stood in his tiny office.
“Maybe.” Aiden twisted the doorknob.
“You don’t have to leave if you don’t want to. I’ll even leave the office if that’ll make you more comfortable.” He wasn’t eager or pushy.
He was matter-of-fact. He met Aiden with clear eyes.
Aiden had never been as transparent as that. He almost wished he could be. “No, I’ve seen enough. Thanks.” He shut the door behind him and headed out to the church lobby. Maybe he’d come back.
“Lindsay, sweetie.”
Ike’s voice stopped Aiden before he erupted into the front lobby.He peeked around the corner.
Ike held Lindsay in a loose embrace. His murmured words didn’t carry to Aiden, but they clearly pleased Lindsay.
Aiden had seen Ike flirting with Lex the other day at PT.
He wasn’t surprised. He had overheard Ike enough at the gym, in the men’s locker room. He knew Ike flitted from girl to girl. He loved whatever girl he happened to be with, no matter how much he flew back and forth.
Lindsay today. Lex tomorrow? Not cool.
Except Lex wasn’t Aiden’s to protect. If she made a bad choice in men, what was it to him?
Ike took Lindsay’s hand and led her out the side door.
Bile left a bitter taste in Aiden’s mouth. He forced his jaw to relax and stop clenching his teeth together.
Lex didn’t deserve to be played.
You don’t feel this protective of Lindsay.
Lex wasn’t his, but she was a friend.
She would never want you to interfere with her life.
She’d never find out.
The Goodwill guys had put it in her car for her — even if it did stick out the back a little — but who would bring it into her apartment?
Lex frowned and stared at her new/used exercise bike. It wasn’t nearly as nice as the ones at PT, but it would do the job. If she could cycle a couple times a day, the swelling would stay down in her knee.
Assuming she could get it into her apartment. And assuming she could find someplace to put it. Well, the CPM machine had been returned long ago, so she really should rearrange the boxes.
Maybe somebody would come by. Or maybe she could call someone. She’d leave the bike in the car until then.
Lex walked slowly over the cracked walkway to her apartment.
She still didn’t feel very stable without her brace. The doctor assured her she’d get stronger once she got used to not having it on.
What was that on her door? Lex pulled the yellow sheet of paper from her peeling paint.
The apartment building was being sold. Lex had four weeks to move out.
A hammer sent blows to her breastbone and her stomach at the same time. She gripped the doorframe to keep from falling.
This couldn’t be happening.
She needed ice cream.
Lex jammed her key in the lock.
“Rex?”
She turned. “Oh, hi Mrs. Chang.”
Her cheerful round face had turned into a weepy moon. She held her own notice.
“Oh, Mrs. Chang. Do you understand what that says?” Lex pointed at the paper.
Mrs. Chang nodded. “I call nephew, he read.”
“What are you going to do?”
She shook her head while another fat tear dropped from her downcast eyes. She gave a rather loud, wet sniff, then a hacking sound from the back of her throat.
Okay, that was just gross.
“I live wit’ nephew. He help.”
Lex awkwardly patted Mrs. Chang’s round shoulder. She nodded, then waddled away.
What would happen to her? Would her nephew find her another place or take her in? It sounded like he knew his duty — he’d take care of his aging relative in some way. Lex had never been so relieved at the old cultural obligations. She’d stop hacking at them after this.
She needed ice cream.
She pushed into her studio. The unnatural silence confused her.
What was missing?
The hum of the refrigerator.
Lex dashed to the kitchenette and saw the drips of water from the tiny freezer, all the way down the front.
She wanted to cry. No ice cream.
She had just finished cleaning out her spoiled food and slurping down some melted ice cream when her cell phone rang. “Hello?”
“Hi, it’s Aiden. I’m in your area — I’m meeting some friends for dinner. Want to join us?”
Not a date, then. Lex wasn’t disappointed, not really. “Your timing is perfect. My fridge is broken.”
“Hooray for old appliances.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“I’ll pick you up in ten minutes.”
He arrived in eight minutes, actually. She opened the door before he rang the bell. “Where are we going?”
“Chinese?”
“Excellent.”
Aiden kept tapping the steering wheel as he drove. Even Lex, as unobservant as she tended to be, noticed his uncharacteristic nervousness. “Are you okay?”
“I’m just hungry.”
“Not that I’m complaining, but what made you call me for dinner with you and your friends?”
Aiden’s face seemed smoother than glass. It seemed almost as if he were hiding something. No, that was ridiculous. “You did say you wanted to meet more guys, right?”
“Oh.” She had said that. “Right.”
“One guy is Christian, I think. At least, he says he is.”
His cynicism pricked her. “There are sincere Christians, you know.”
He grew quiet. “Yes, I know.” His voice thrummed low and thoughtful.
They pulled into the parking lot. “Is that them?” Lex saw two figures half-hidden in the dark.
Something made her pause before opening her door.
It couldn’t be Aiden’s friends — it was a couple. The man kissed the woman in the dark, a romantic picture. The woman’s light-colored hair shimmered almost silver.
That looked like Ike. And Lindsay.
The man lifted his head.
“Ike?” She didn’t recognize the croaking voice. Was that her? She swallowed. A wadded up ball of tape stuck in her throat.
The man smiled. It was Ike.
Aiden hadn’t gotten out either. He stared hard at the couple.
Lex swallowed. “Can we not — ?”
“Sure.” He started up the engine again, no questions.
“Please just take me home.” She wasn’t hungry anymore.
They drove out of the parking lot. As they passed Ike and Lindsay, Lex felt only a twinge like a snapped rubber band in her chest.
Well, at least she wouldn’t have to kiss him now.
She glanced at Aiden. She’d like to kiss him —Look, but don’t touch.
Rats.