AUTHOR’S AFTERWORD

NOW YOU KNOW THE TRUTH OF WHY I’M LAUDED AS A HERO.

SURE, THE THINGS I DID IN PREVIOUS VOLUMES OF MY AUTOBIOGRAPHY HELPED MY REPUTATION. BUT THIS WAS THE EVENT THAT EVERYONE STILL TALKS ABOUT, THE LIBERATION OF MOKIA, THE SINGLE-HANDED DEFEAT OF DOZENS OF LIBRARIAN ARMIES SCATTERED THROUGHOUT THE FREE KINGDOMS.

MY REPUTATION WAS SECURE. I’D GO DOWN IN HISTORY AS ONE OF THE MOST INFLUENTIAL PEOPLE TO EVER LIVE, AND I’D BE REMEMBERED AS ONE OF THE GREATEST MOKIAN KINGS OF ALL TIME. (IF ONE OF THE SHORTEST TO RULE – I WAS ABLE TO GIVE UP THE THRONE TO PRINCESS KAMALI THE NEXT DAY, WHEN SHE CAME BACK TO TAKE OVER FOR ME.) SURE, BASTILLE WAS IN TROUBLE – BUT YOU KNOW THAT EVERYTHING TURNS OUT ALL RIGHT WITH HER IN THE END. AFTER ALL, I’VE MENTIONED SEVERAL TIMES THAT SHE’S OFTEN STANDING HERE IN OUR HOUSE, READING OVER MY SHOULDER AS I WRITE THESE THINGS. ALL IN ALL, I SAVED THE DAY, DEFEATED THE LIBRARIAN ARMIES, AND PERMANENTLY TURNED THE TIDE OF THE WAR.

THE FUNNY THING IS, IN DOING ALL THESE MARVELOUS THINGS, I’D CHANGED INTO A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON. YOUR HERO IS NO LONGER WITH US. THE VERY ACT OF HEROISM CHANGED HIM. I’D WALKED INTO MOKIA AS ONE PERSON, AND I WALKED OUT OF IT AS A VASTLY DIFFERENT ONE. THAT’S NOTHING SURPRISING; ALL PEOPLE CHANGE.

SOME CHANGES HAPPEN SLOWLY, LIKE A ROCK BEING WEATHERED AWAY BY THE RAIN. OTHERS HAPPEN QUICKLY, SUDDENLY. AN EARTHQUAKE SHAKES A CITY. A HEART STOPS BEATING. A DISCOVERY IS MODE, AND A LIGHTBULB TURNS ON FOR THE FIRST TIME.

THE LIBRARIANS . . . THEY TRY TO KEEP US FROM CHANGING. THEY WANT EVERYTHING TO REMAIN THE SAME INSIDE THE HUSHLANDS. YOU REMEMBER WHEN I TALKED ABOUT HOW THEY MAKE ALL CARS AND PLANES LOOK THE SAME? WELL, THEY DO THAT WITH EVERYTHING.

IN THIS CASE, IT’S NOT BECAUSE THEY’RE OPPRESSIVE. IT’S BECAUSE THEY’RE AFRAID. CHANGE FRIGHTENS THEM. IT’S UNKNOWN, UNCERTAIN, LIKE SMEDRYS AND MAGIC. THEY WANT EVERYONE TO ASSUME THAT THINGS CAN’T CHANGE.

BUT THEY CAN. I DID. ALCATRAZ THE HERO WAS NO MORE. IF HE EVER WAS A HERO IN THE FIRST PLACE. YOU’VE SEEN THAT MOST OF WHAT I ACCOMPLISHED HAPPENED BY ACCIDENT, LUCK, AND A FEW RANDOM IDEAS THAT TURNED OUT TO WORK. BUT EVEN IF YOU THOUGHT THAT SORT OF THING MADE HM A HERO, YOU NEED TO REALIZE THAT THE PERSON YOU WORSHIP IS GONE.

THESE FOUR BOOKS ARE THE PARTS EVERYONE KNOWS ABOUT. BUT THE LAST VOLUME, THAT’S THE PART NOBODY UNDERSTANDS. NOBODY THINKS TO ASK, “WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM AFTER HE SAVED US FROM THE LIBRARIANS?”

I’LL SHOW YOU. FINALLY, YOU’LL SEE. IT WILL BE AMAZING, EYE-OPENING, AWFUL, AWESOME, STOOPIDERIFIC, STOOPIDALICIOUS, STOOPIDERLIFLUOUS, STOOPIDANATED, AND CRAPAFLAPNASTI ALL AT THE SAME TIME. IT INVOLVES AN ALTAR. YES, THAT REALLY DID HAPPEN. I DIDN’T JUST MAKE IT UP. THAT ALTAR SCENE IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT EVENTS IN MY LIFE. IT HAPPENS IN THE NEXT BOOK, I PROMISE, NO LIES THIS TIME.

MAYBE SOMEDAY I’LL ACTUALLY WRITE THAT BOOK.