Star Trek - TOS - Time For Yesterday Ann Crispin

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”Yes. I made it when I became Captain of the Guards.<br >

Took me countless tries to get it right, even though I had a cassette on<br >ancient weapons-making.” Zar smiled faintly. “I suspect that file was one of Hikaru’s additions to the library.”<br >

Kirk struck an en garde position, but the weapon was much too heavy for<br >his wrist-the point sagged immediately. “Surely you don’t fence with this?”<br >

”No,” Zar said. “It’s too heavy, though it’s suprisingly well-balanced.<br >But in fencing you have to parry, and with a weapon this long and heavy, there’s a major problem. Even carbon-tempered steel can break. So you<br >need to carry a shield or buckler for parrying. But I have introduced the use of the point to my troops. They had learned the use of the edge<br >only … most bronze swords don’t even have points.”

The admiral nodded. “This is what they call a hand-anda-half sword,<br >isn’t it? You can swing it either one-or two-handed?” He knew that it was also called a “bastard sword—an ironic designation, considering the<br >circumstances of Zar’s birth.

”Yes … that’s one of its names,” Zar said, giving him a wry smile and<br >a raised eyebrow.

The admiral cleared his throat and changed the subject.<br >

”By the way, what is its name?”<br >

”Name?” Zar looked puzzled for a moment, then understanding dawned. “Oh,<br >you mean a name lik. “Excalibur,” o. “Fred’-something like that?” The gray eyes were bleak.<br >

”It doesn’t have one, Jim.. “Killer,” maybe, because that’s what I use<br >it for. Frankly, I hate what I do with it, but I’ve learned to be damned good at it. Lately, none of us has had much choice.”<br >

Slightly daunted-there goes another of my romantic illusions-Kirk<br >cautiously slid the sword back into its scabbard and hung it back up.

”Now what?” he asked, turning to face the others.<br >

Zar glanced at the chronom eter on his tricorder. “Now I’d better check<br >to see if Heldeon’s responded to Wynn’s message. We ought to start for the Danreg camp before sunset. I’ll order mounts for you three.” He<br >stood up, steadying himself on the edge of the table, his mouth tightening as his game leg took his weight. “I get stiff if I sit too<br >long.”

”I’d really like to look at that, son,” McCoy said. “Might be something<br >I could do to help. What happened?”

”Took a lance through the thigh, nearly ten years ago,” Zar told him.<br >”It killed my vykar, and I was pinned beneath the body until Cletas found me. I suspect nerve damage -that’s not something you can repair,<br >if I recall correctly.”

”There have been advances since you were with us,” the medical officer<br >said. “A doctor named Corrigan, working with a Vulcan healer, Sorely, perfected a nerve-regeneration technique over a decade ago. I have a<br >unit aboard the Enterprise … but, of course, you’d have to come back with US.”<br >

Zar gazed at him for a long moment. “I see … still the expert<br >gambler. You really know how to raise the stakes, don’t you?”

Chapter Nine<br >

RIDING A v-YKAR wasn’t much like riding a horse, McCoy discovered. The<br >beasts moved with a side-to-side motion that reminded him more of a camel. They wore bitless bridles, and were controlled more by the legs<br >and voiced commands than by tugs on the reins. Still, sitting upright on the creature’s back was infinitely preferable to being thrown across<br >its withers.

Darkness had fallen over the slopes of Big Snowy as their little band<br >pressed onward, up the Mountainside. The guards, their weapons bound with the blue peace-thongs, carried lit torches, but their light did not<br >reach the center of the group, where the doctor rode.

McCoy hoped uneasily that his mount possessed better night vision than<br >he did. Even though tonight was clear, Sarpeidon’s lack of a moon made the darkness seem endless and looming. The doctor glanced up, seeing<br >stars that were only vaguely familiar from his previous trip here, when they had brought Zar back for-he hoped-the first time.<br >

McCoy experienced a sudden, aching nostalgia for the clear-eyed youth<br >with the shy smile whom he had known for those seven weeks aboard the Enterprise. He’d virtually adopted Zar, becoming the young man’s<br >confidant and adviser. In a way, as Kirk had observed at the time, it was as though Zar were his son, rather than Spock’s. When Zar had<br >returned to the past, McCoy had grieved for weeks TwE FOR YESTERDAY

almost as he would have mourned his daughter, Joanna, if anything had<br >happened to her.

The vykar lurched its way up the rocky path and stumbled, sending a rock<br >spinning away from its cloven hoof.

The doctor sensed, rather than saw, the stone pitch over a cliff two<br >meters to his left. He listened for the clatter of its landing, but no sound came. McCoy swallowed. “Be careful, buddy,” he admonished the<br >vykar, patting the beast’s warm shoulder in front of the saddle and catching a whiff of its musky odor borne on the dark breeze. “It’s a<br >long way down.”

His mount snorted, unimpressed, as it plodded on.<br >

McCoy returned to his musings.<br >

He was worried about Zar. The man he’d seen today was so different from<br >the eager, impetuous youth he’d known fourteen years ago, that, except for brief flashes of familiarity, he could have been a different person<br >altogether. The Zar he’d known before had been passionate and intense, quicktempered and proud (at times, arrogant), yet touchingly vulnerable<br >in his loneliness.

The man McCoy had met today seemed little more than a hollow shell<br >filled only by a bitter determination to do his duty. All the passion, the intensity, the pride, were gone.<br >

Only the loneliness was still there-greater than ever. What happened to<br >him? McCoy wondered, trying to dig deeper than the bare-bones recital Zar had given them, to unearth the old sorrows.<br >

Obviously, the death of his wife is a good part of it … he loved her<br >very much, if I’m any judge. It must have been childbirth. Not surprising, in a society this primitive. Rather, it’s a wonder that any<br >of them survive …

McCoy’s thoughts turned to Wynn, remembering the tension in her<br >tough-muscled biceps when he’d given her the immunizations Zar had requested. She’d been afraid of the hypospray, flinching involuntarily<br >every time it hissed, but she had obviously trusted Zar enough to accept his reassurances that McCoy was a healer, that the doctor’s actions<br >would benefit her.

That’s a lot of trust to place in a man you’ve only met today, he<br >decided, even if you are planning to marry him tonight. A State marriage, at that, which I gather from Zar will be strictly one of<br >convenience. A lot of trust … still, don’tJorgel that she’s an empaih also … she’d know, surely, if someone meant her harm …<br >

McCoy sighed, shifting position in the narrow saddle. He i had always<br >been thin, and had lost weight the last few days, i leaving his rump even less padded than usual. Added to the stiffness from yesterday’s<br >alarums and excursions, he was undoubtedly going to be saddle-sore.

Damn. But it’ll be worth it all, if Zar comes back with us.<br >

Maybe I’ll take some of that leave I’ve got coming, and the two of us<br >can borrow Jim’s cabin in Garrovick Valley for a couple of weeks. Just take it easy, maybe fish a little… he needs it, he’s been under<br >unbelievable stress for years, trying to keep those wolves from ripping the throat out of New Araen … no wonder he looks haunted …<br >

Not to mention the sheer pressures of leadership. Sword of Damocles,<br >and all that. He’d counseled James Kirk too many times to have any illusions about how agonizing some command choices could prove. The “if<br >only I’d— syndrome was a killer.

The trail (at least McCoy presumed they were still following a trail)<br >beneath them seemed to be leveling out, and the i doctor glanced up to see campfires and torchlight glimmering from a plateau ahead. At the<br >same moment he heard an incomprehensible demand from a shadowy figure, obviously a sentry’s challenge. Cletas, who was riding point, answered<br >in the same tongue.

Suddenly the torches waved wildly as the lead riders increased speed.<br >McCoy’s vykar snorted and gathered itself, breaking into a rough canter. The doctor clung unashamedly to the pommel as they thundered over the<br >meadow and into the center of Heldeon’s camp.

”Whoa, damn you!” he yelled, sawing at the reins.<br >

”Stop!”<br >

With a lurch that nearly sent the doctor flying spreadeagled onto its<br >antlers, the vykar halted.

”Bones, you okay?” McCoy heard a familiar shout. He turned, pushing<br >himself upright, to see Kirk expertly threading his galloping mount through the melee, then bringing it to a neat-footed halt.<br >

McCoy grimaced as he nodded. It’s positively disgusting how all Jim has<br >to do is try something once, and he masters it. Why couldn’t I have been born with balance and reflexes like that? Ten to one he isn’t even<br >sore tomorrow.

The admiral swung effortlessly off his vykar without signaling for it to<br >kneel. “Good girl,” he said, scratching the beast’s neck while she grunted with pleasure. “Need some help getting down, Bones?”<br >

”No, actually I thought I’d just sit up here and pose for a<br >quasi-equestrian statue,” the doctor snapped peevishly.

”Damn it, I’ve forgotten the command to make these critters kneel.”<br >

In the torchlight, Kirk’s mouth quirked. He tethered his mount, then<br >approached McCoy’s. Reaching out, he tapped the middle of the beast’s shoulder. “Down, ” he said, firmly.<br >

Grunting, the vykar ponderously knelt.<br >

”Smart-ass,” McCoy growled, swinging off in high dudgeon-only to have<br >his knees buckle when his feet touched the ground.

”Steady, Bones,” Kirk said, grabbing the doctor’s arm.<br >

”I’m all right … or I would be after a good night’s sleep, a soak in<br >a hot tub, a massage, and a stiff drink,” the doctor said, fighting back a yawn as they moved toward a torchlit circle that had been arranged<br >beside the tent where they’d been tied the previous night. “I feel like I’ve been awake half my life.”<br >

”Well, try to look alive. You don’t want to disgrace Zar by dozing off<br >during his wedding.”

”Where is he?”<br >

”He’s off talking with Heideon and Wynn. The ceremony will start as<br >soon as they can get the succession rights, the property settlements, and the battle negotiations worked out.”<br >

”Where’s Spock?”<br >

”As the groom’s closest relative, he went with them. From what Cletas<br >told me as we rode, the connubial couple isn’t supposed to talk-their representatives do it for them. Zar was briefing him on what to ask for<br >the whole way up here.”

McCoy chuckled wearily. “Old Heldeon had better look out. Spock has<br >negotiated with everyone from the Romulans to the Talosians. Zar’s apt to wind up owning the whole planet.”<br >

As she sat in her father’s tent, pretending to drink a goblet of wine,<br >Wynn realized that she was nervous, which surprised her. She had been nervous eight years before, the night she had married Nahral … but<br >that had been a true marriage, and she a maid, which was only natural. So why, now, did her stomach knot within her, and her hands shake so<br >badly she was afraid to put the goblet down on the low table, for fear she would spill it and someone would see?<br >

The High Priestess swallowed a fraction of the dryness from her mouth<br >and forcibly turned her attention back to Heldeon and Spock. Their nods told her that they had come to an acceptable compromise on the grazing<br >rights. They were almost done, then. Soon it will be limefor the ceremony, she thought, with a stab of real fear.<br >

Vellum rustled as the scribes produced the completed papers, then each<br >negotiator signed. “And now,” Spock said, “about the approaching battle. What support can we expec t from you, most honored chieftain?”<br >

Heldeon sneezed, then sniffied; he’d taken a rheum from the wetting he’d<br >received the night before. The older man mopped his nose on his sleeve before answering. “Support?<br >

You speak of troops? You ask me to go foresworn and fight against my<br >allies?”

”But they are neither blood-kin, nor kin-by-marriage,” Spock pointed<br >out, his voice and words so calmly reasonable that Wynn smothered a smile. “Surely the greater transgression would be to allow<br >kin-by-marriage to come to harm through your inaction.”

Heldeon blinked reddened eyes, then scratched his graying hair.<br >”Hmmmmm.”

At first the High Priestess had wondered about her new lord-to-be’s<br >wisdom in replacing the senior member of his Council, old Davon, with his father as his marriage-terms negotiator. But now she realized why<br >Zar had done it. Zar’s sire was neither intimidated nor overawed by the Chieftain of Danreg Ford … an attitude Heldeon was not used to<br >encountering. Spock’s unruffled demeanor put her father off-balance, as no amount of aggression or attempted bravado could have.<br >

”Of course, I will withdraw from my alliance,” Heldeon said, finally.<br >”The blood of our Lakreo brethren will not stain Danreg hands.” He smothered a cough.<br >

Spock raised a disdainful eyebrow. “Forgive me, but is it not true that<br >he who stands back and allows his brother to be attacked and murdered. sins fully as much as the hand that guides the killing blade? Without<br >your strength, great chieftain, all the Lakreo efforts will likely come to naught … your daughter will rule a city blooded, gutted, and hung<br >for butchering at Laol and Rorgan’s leisure. Is that what you wish for her?”<br >

Heldeon shifted uncomfortably. “You make your point well,<br >man-from-distant-places, but … there is the matter of being foresworn. Ashmara does not look with favor upon oath-breakers.”<br >

”Ah.” Spock glanced quickly over at Wynn. “That is undoubtedly so. Yet,<br >this is perhaps a matter of degree.

Which sin does Ashmara repudiate more-the sin of oathbreaking, or the<br >sin of kin-killing?”

Wynn considered for several minutes. Ashmara, she thought, Great<br >Mother. Lend my tongue your wisdom, so that I ma - V correctly express Your will. Finally she looked back up and met her father’s eyes. “Honor<br >is a two-edged blade,” she said slowly. “At times it is impossible to wield it without injury. Yet it seems to me that the sharper wound to a<br >spirit arises from kin-killing, than it does from oathbreaking. And, after all,” her voice hardened, “it is not as though Rorgan has not<br >already broken faith with us.”

”What do you mean?” her father demanded, speaking in Danrei.<br >

”He ordered that attack on our camp the time Nahral and Lelinos were<br >butchered,” Wynn replied, in the same tongue.

”The Goddess sent me certain knowledge of this the first time I looked<br >into his eyes. He is already foresworn, Father.”

Heldeon snuffled again, looking very grave. “I see. Why did you not<br >tell me this before, daughter?”

”Because I knew that my Sendings from Ashmara make you ill-at-ease with<br >me … and, we needed that alliance.

Now, I believe, we are offered a better one. My counsel is to accept my<br >lord-to-be’s offer and lend him all the support we can muster. I myself will lead our troops, if your rheum worsens, and you cannot.”<br >

Heldeon coughed, the sound coming from deep in his huge chest. “I will<br >do as you advise,” he said. “But, believe me, I shall not miss the opportunity to ride against the double-tongued liar who murdered my<br >grandson. Before you leave to lie with your new lord tonight, you must use your healer’s skill to concoct a tisane to lift this fever and<br >lighten the weight in my chest.”

”I will, Father,” Wynn said. “And my lord has with him one whom he says<br >is a powerful healer. If you wish, I will ask him also to aid you. His name is McCoy.”<br >

Heldeon shivered with a chill. “Perhaps. Is this McCoy a sorcerer?”<br >

”No,” Wynn said. “But my lord says his healing powers are little short<br >of magic.”

”Very well.” The chieftain dropped back into the Lakreo speech. “As<br >always, my daughter counsels me wisely. Tomorrow I will advise Laol that I cannot hold to an alliance made with that liar and child-killer,<br >Rorgan DeathHand.

Then, after she has been fairly warned as to my intentions, Danreg and<br >Lakreo troops will march together to rout these invaders. I, Heldeon, Chieftain of Danreg Ford, will pronounce sword-oath on it.”<br >

The grizzled warrior rose to his feet and raised both hands, palm out.<br >Commander Madon hastily placed the old chieftain’s bronze blade across them. “May my own weapon smite me in this, if I be foresworn,” Heldeon<br >intoned the formal words, his voice hoarse, but still impressive.

”And I, also, offer sword-oath that I will abide by all the covenants<br >made here between us today,” Zar said, speaking for the first time since the formal greetings. “My lady?” he asked, also standing and holding<br >out his hands.

Wynn hastily tugged the Sovren’s weapon out of its scabbard, thinking<br >the moment she felt its weight that she had never encountered its like before. Such a strange color.<br >

What is it made from?<br >

Carefully, she laid the sword across the younger man’s palms. “May my<br >own steel smite me in this, if I be foresworn,” Zar said, his eyes intent on Heldeon’s.<br >

Wynn heard Spock give a faint sigh of refief.<br >

”And now, for the ceremonv,” Heldeon boomed. “Tell our people to make<br >ready, Maon. Wynn found herself hustled off to her sleeping tent by her Under-Priestesses. There she washed, cleansing and purifying herself as<br >she would for any ritual. Her women loosened her hair and brushed it until it shone in the lamplight, leaving it to fall free over her<br >shoulders and spill down her back.

The gown they brought for her was Ashmara’s traditional green, the color<br >of blood, of life. Wynn slipped it on, then fastened her ruby necklace around her throat. Finally, she placed the coronal on her head, and was<br >ready.

Escorted by her Under-Priestesses, she walked out of the tent, into the<br >torchlit circle. She could feel the pulse in her throat hammering until she thought it might choke her. She tried to swallow, but her mouth had<br >turned to dust.

What am I doing? she wondered, dazedly. Great Mother, why did I agree<br >to this? Am I ensorceled?

She stepped into the center of the circle and stood waiting, her chief<br >Under-Priestess, Lylla, on her right, her father on her left. I can’t do this, Wynn thought. I don’t even know this man. Why am I doing<br >this?

After several minutes the circle of watchers rippled, and she saw him<br >approaching, his sire on his right, Cletas on his left. He went unmailed and carried no weapons, for war had no place in one of<br >Ashmara’s rites.

Instead of the traditional green, he still wore black …<br >

breeches, boots, and a sleeveless leather tunic that left his arms bare<br >to the night breeze. A silver-and-jet medallion swung against his chest, matched by his wrist-guards, but he wore no coronal or other<br >symbol of rank. As Wynn watched, Cletas unfolded and shook out a red cloak and draped it over his Sovren’s shoulders. Zar tossed the folds<br >back as he approached.

He halted, facing her, then bowed formally. Wynn inclined her head in<br >the greeting-to-equals, and lifted her hand, palm outward. I could still stop this. One word, and my will would be obeyed. I could stop<br >…

The Sovren moved toward her, his hand also raised.<br >

When he stopped, he was so close she could see the pulse beating beneath<br >his jaw. Slowly, formally, he met her flesh with his own, so they stood palm to palm and forearm to forearm.<br >

As before, his skin was warm, warmer than hers … asif he were<br >fevered. As soon as they touched, the contact between them came alive again. Wynn drew a deep breath, fighting that link. Why do I feel like<br >this? Why am I doing this?

She willed herself to resist that mental and emotional merging, refusing<br >to look at him, staring fixedly at the medallion he wore, struggling to keep her thoughts and feelings barriered within her … and realized<br >that Zar was having the same difficulty.

From the crowd came a slow drumbeat, then a low, insistent chanting.<br >Lylla was speaking an invocation to Ashmara. Wynn’s mind automatically supplied the words, since she had officiated at many handfastings<br >before, but to another part of her, they were only gibberish.

I could stop … I should stop … my will … this is too fast …<br >

Lylla moved forward, still chanting, carrying heavy thongs that had been<br >dyed green. The Under-Priestess began winding the leather strips, wrapping their arms together, until they stood bound, fingertip to<br >elbow, past any breaking free.

Wynn’s heart hammered so hard that she was shaking. It is almost too<br >late. If I am going to stop this, it will have to be now, it must be now … Lady Goddess, can this be Your will?<br >

Gasping, she raised her head to shout out the words of denial, but her<br >eyes met his, and they died unspoken on her lips. Zar was gazing at her anxiously, she could feel his concern, and she suddenly realized-with<br >the sureness of a Sending-that she was doing what she must. This man meant her no harm, she knew it, had always known it.<br >

She stood there silent, still trembling, but her fear was now mixed with<br >another emotion.

Lylla stood back, leaving them bound together. “The binding is<br >complete. They can only be separated by death -Ashmara has witnessed it!”<br >

The High Priestess felt her wrist seized from behind, and knew without<br >looking that Heldeon was playing his part. At the same moment Spock, at a signal from Cletas, also stepped forward and grabbed Zar’s wrist. Both<br >men tugged sharply, and Wynn stumbled back, away from her lord, even as he was pulled away from her.<br >

Chanting filled her ears now, along with the sound of drums, as she was<br >stretched bodily, her arms spreadeagled by her father’s great strength-three hard pulls-once …<br >

twice … thrice-but Lylla knew her business, and the green thongs,<br >though not knotted, had been bound correctly. They held through all three ceremonial tugs.<br >

Having demonstrated that Ashmara blessed this handfasting by making it<br >proof against family attempts to separate the handfasted couple, both fathers were supposed to release their respective wrists. But Heldeon,<br >with a ribald guffaw, spun Wynn even as he let her go, sending her staggering back into Zar’s involuntary embrace. The High Priestess<br >would have fallen if he hadn’t thrown his free arm around her shoulders, steadying her.<br >

Wynn colored, silently cursing her father, as she directed a scathing<br >glance at the chieftain. As she straightened in her new husband’s hold, she was acutely conscious of his body against hers. She looked up, only<br >to find him staring down at her, his eyes wide with surprise … and something else she couldn’t read.<br >

”Kiss her, son-by-marriage!” Heldeon whooped. “She won’t bite-much!”<br >

”Is that necessary to complete the rite?” Zar asked softly.<br >

She could barely hear him over the cheering.<br >

”It is traditional, but the handfasting is complete, my lord,” Wynn<br >said, trying to pull away. “Most of those who enter the circle can barely restrain themselves, but we are different, you and U’<br >

”Yes, we are,” he agreed, but, bending his head, he brushed her mouth<br >with his own. She felt the soft roughness of his moustache on her upper lip. “There,” he said, drawing back and finally releasing her.<br >”Traditions should be preserved, don’t you agree?”

”Of course,” she said automatically, and was angry to realize that she<br >was slightly breathless. Don’t be a fool, she thought. He meant nothing by that, nothing! He was only answering Father’s challenge. Any<br >man would have done the same.

Then they were surrounded by well-wishers, and it was time to undo the<br >thongs.

Zar was sitting alone in his bedchamber, finishing a late supper (he’d<br >been too queasy from nerves to eat at the wedding feast), when he heard the tap on the door. He frowned as he pushed himself up from his chair<br >by the hearth; if the guard had permitted his visitor to knock, both the visitor and the reason must be important.<br >

”Come,” he called out.<br >

The door opened and Spock stood there, his blue cloak pulled close<br >around his shoulders. “I thought you might be awake.”

”Too tired to sleep.” Zar let himself sink back into his seat, then<br >waved at the chair facing his. “Sit down. I’m pleased you came by. Can I get you anything?”<br >

The Vulcan shook his head as he sat, stretching his booted legs out to<br >the fire. “Cletas told us it is nearly summer, yet even here in this valley there is still frost at night. I confess I am grateful for the<br >fire’s warmth.”

”I rarely feel the cold,” Zar admitted. “After living on the tundra all<br >those years, this southern climate still seems warm by comparison. I doubt I could have managed Vulcan’s heat.”<br >

”It is not too late to find out,” Spock said, glancing over at him. Zar<br >didn’t miss the unspoken appeal in his father’s eyes, though his expression never altered.<br >

The younger man sighed. “We’ve been through that.<br >

There’s no way I can come back with you. My people need me. Besides,<br >Sarpeidon, for better or worse, is my world.

Vulcan isn’t … I don’t know anyone there.”<br >

”You have family there,” Spock reminded him.<br >

Zar raised an eyebrow, the movement coming so naturally that for a<br >moment he forgot that it might seem as if he were mocking his father. ”You mean T’Pau?”<br >

”She died some years ago. No, I was speaking of your grandparents.”<br >

”Amanda and Sarek? They know about me? How?”<br >

”I told them,” Spock said, flatly. “While I was on Vulcan preparing to<br >study for Kolinahr, I hung two of your paintings in my room. When my mother saw them, she inquired as to the identity of the artist.” He<br >paused for a beat. “I had been planning to inform them anyway.”

Zar caught his breath, remembering vividly how shamed the Vulcan had<br >felt by his “krenath” offspring-living proof of his own fallibility. And he told hisfather about me?Sarek, the person he wanted most to impress?<br >He cleared his throat, searching for words. “How did they take it?”

”They wished they had had the opportunity to meet you.<br >

If you will come back with us, they still can. Dr. McCoy is correct<br >… your duty to this world does not demand your death. I have scanned the events following the battle in question, and the timestream is free<br >of any complications or repercussions relating to your demise. It will not matter whether you die, or are listed as ‘missing in action.”<br >

”What happens to New Amen?”<br >

”Peace descends. The Lakreo Valley continues to prosper.”<br >

It’s possible that Wynn succeeds in holding off the invaders, then, Zar<br >thought. “That’s wonderful,” he said, without irony. “I’m glad you told me. It makes it easier.<br >

The Vulcan’s mouth hardened, and fbr a second the Sovren sensed his<br >father’s frustration. “It’ does not have to happen.” Spock’s dark eyes were very serious. -Zar, if you return with me, I will take several<br >months’ leave to see you settled-more, if it is needed. We could visit Earth, Vulcan -anywhere you wish. The explored universe-and it is very<br >wide-would truly be yours, so.”

Spock drew a deep breath. “And for Amanda it would mean-” He swallowed.<br >”Understand that for years, my mother has studied Vulcan mental disciplines, including the control of her human emotions. She has made<br >considerable progress in this regard. Yet, when I spoke of you, and she told me that she wished she could have met you, there were tears in her<br >eyes.”

You’refighting dirty, Father, Zar thought, glancing down, refusing to<br >meet the other’s gaze. He cast awkwardly about for a change of subject. ”Which two paintings were they?”<br >

”The Beta Niobe ice-scape, and an enlargement of your self-portrait from<br >the cave. It was the only image I had of you. But an image is not what I want . .<br >

He is letting me know how much I matter to him, something that never<br >happened when we were together before-except once, in the privacy of a meld, Zar thought.<br >

But to actually hear him say it … His mouth thinned. I can’t let it<br >matter. I can’t let him sway me.

”You’ve changed,” Zar said, bluntly.<br >

”So have you.”<br >

”You’re right about that,” the younger man said. “Twenty years ago I<br >was about a century younger-or, at least, that’s how it feels. And now,” he cocked his head, the eyebrow going back up, “thanks to the<br >paradoxes of time travel, you’re less than a decade older than I am.”

”I know.” Spock glanced around the room, with its big curtained bed, and<br >tapestry-hung walls. There were only a few pieces of massive furniture … a wardrobe, and the cabinet where Voba stored the armor and<br >weapons. The Vulcan’s gaze stopped on the portrait. “Your work?” he asked, as though he already knew the answer.<br >

”Yes. That was Araen,” Zar said. “My wife … that is,” he corrected<br >himself with a touch of bitterness, “my first wife.”

”She was lovely,” Spock said, gently.<br >

”She was,” Zar agreed, keeping his voice steady with an effort.<br >”Fine-boned and so delicate … intelligent, but kind. She never used her wit to hurt, only to make others happy. When she was in a room,<br >people would gravitate toward her just as they do toward a fire in winter.” He sighed, realizing he couldn’t afford to let himself sink<br >into those memories. “May I ask you a personal question?”

Spock considered. “You may ask. I do not promise to answer.”<br >

”Fair enough. Why haven’t you ever married?”<br >

It was the Vulcan’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “There is no single<br >reason. Once the liaison the family arranged for me was terminated by divorce, there was no reason to enter another immediately … so I<br >elected not to do so. Time went by … my contemporaries were all partnered. Then our five-vear mission was over, and I began the study<br >of the Kolinahr’ disciplines. When one is an acolyte in pursuit of Kolinahr, one must give up … external … links.” He steepled his<br >fingers. “By the time I left Kolinahr, I also left Vulcan. I have not been home since.”<br >

”So, you just haven’t met the right woman,” Zar said, deadpan.<br >

Shared amusement touched his father’s eyes. “You could put it that<br >way.”

”I thought you had a duty to ‘the family’ to keep the bloodline going.”<br >

Spock nodded. “So I have been told. Considering the Vulcan lifespan, I<br >still have time, even if you choose not to return with me. Although I do not feel as bound by family traditions as I once did. As one grows<br >older, one’s perspectives and priorities alter.”

”The understatement of the evening.”<br >

Spock’s eyebrow rose again. “And what about you? I gather that the<br >Council has been urging you to remarry for years. Why has it taken you this long to do so?”<br >

Zar hesitated for nearly a minute before speaking. “What took place<br >tonight between Wynn and me won’t be a true marriage,” he said finally, deliberately hedging the question and hoping Spock wouldn’t notice. He’s<br >the last person I want to discuss that subject with …

”I see,” his father said. “An in-name-only arrangement, then,<br >contracted for political reasons.” The dark Vulcan eyes held his, and the Sovren knew then that Spock had not missed his evasion. “Why not an<br >actual marriage?” he asked. “I do not wish to pry, but …”

Zar swallowed. “I don’t know … I never met the right woman either, I<br >suppose. Or, if I did, I never let myself know it. To tell you the truth, Father, McCoy was right. I’m a coward.”<br >

”Not by any measure of the term as I comprehend it. If I may offer an<br >opinion, you have acquitted yourself well in an admittedly difficult situation, Zar.”<br >

The younger man blinked in surprised pleasure. “Why . thank you. It<br >means a lot to me to hear you say that.”

He mused for a moment. “You know what’s been hardest, in some ways,<br >about my ‘situation’? I came back here fired up with determination to save the world. But it didn’t take long before I realized that just<br >because something is the ‘right’ thing to do, doesn’t necessarily make it enjoyable. I really don’t like’running the show.”And a sense of duty<br >and obligation can take you only so far. I’ve regretted not staying with you more times …”<br >

”You don’t enjoy command?”<br >

”No, not the way Jim Kirk does. He was born for it, he thrives on it,<br >you can look at him and tell. When he’s in charge, even when he’s wrong-he’s fight, somehow. It’s hard to put into words.”<br >

TwE FOR YESTERDAY<br >

”I know what you mean,” Spock told him.<br >

”I suppose you do, more than anyone.”<br >

”But sureiy your work here must have had some compensations.”<br >

”Years ago, when we had peace, it did, yes. I’d visit the classrooms<br >and know that the people of my valley would one day be literate. I’d watch the farmers using their new steel plows, and it would all seem<br >worth it, then. No matter how much I disliked levying taxes, or judging criminals, any of the day-to-day work of’running the show’-I was<br >accomplishing what I had set myself to do, and that meant something.”

He shook his head. “Even though to do it, I had to give up my personal<br >freedom-and, if you think about it, my entire life before, I’d been about as free as anyone could be. No one to answer to but myself. But<br >when I came here, I was responsible for thousands of lives-nobody is more constrained than a ruler of a territory this size-” Zar broke off,<br >gazing down at the table between them. His sword, which VDba had cleaned and placed there for his inspection, Jay gleaming bluely,<br >unsheathed.

His mouth twisted as he stared at it. “And then the wars started . .<br >.”

”I understand,” Spock said. “But why do you say that you lack courage?”<br >

Zar flexed his hands, absently rubbing one of the old scars. “I’ve lost<br >so many people, through the years …

Araen, and Tekolin … Alyn, one of my best tacticians, Matric, who was<br >with me from the first … others … and, of course. my mother. With each death I’ve received the warning that something terrible was<br >happening, or was going to happen to them … just the way I knew that time when Commander Tal was going to execute you. Sick, dizzy,<br >disoriented … the greater the danger, the worse it was.”

”I remember.”<br >

”It’s hard to let yourself care, when you know you’re going to be<br >there-mentally and emotionally, at least -when they die.” Zar’s voice faltered on the last syllable.<br >

”I’ve spent a lot of years now, trying to care as little as possible.<br >And yet, it still happens to me. Tomorrow I may wake up sick, and realize that Cletas or Voba will be the next. That’s hell to live<br >with.”

”Yes,” Spock agreed. “But the alternative is to live without friendship<br >or warmth … in a sterile, joyless environment. I experienced such a barren existence during my mindmeld with Vejur.”<br >

”Vejur?”<br >

”A gargantuan computer-generated spaceship we encountered. It had come<br >to Earth searching for its creator, for something to give purpose to its and existence-It had accumulated so much data, had achieved such<br >perfect logic-and yet it had no concept of compassion, of friendship, and so remained … empty. Barren. It came very close to destroying<br >Terra before we could prompt it to search for a higher purpose.”

Zar listened intently. “So, what’s the moral here?” he asked, when<br >Spock had finished. “Logic isn’t everything.

I’m shocked, Father!” he said with a half-smile.<br >

Unabashed, Spock returned it. “Some things do transcend logic.” He<br >sobered, steepling his fingers together as he stared into the fire. ”Actually, the inherent limitations of logic were only part of ‘the<br >moral,” as you term it. More important, I believe, is the lesson that anything-or anyone -who ceases to grow, to reach outward, even at great<br >risk or cost … is spiritually dying.”

As he listened to the Vulcan’s words, Zar had lost his air of casual<br >amusement; now he leaned forward, his eyes as hard and intent as the blade resting between them. “So you’re saying that I should take the<br >risk of caring, no matter who dies, and what it does to me when it happens? You’re saying I should fight to stay alive, even when I have<br >it on the best authority that I’m a corpse just waiting to fall down?

You’re saying I should-” His voice cracked, and he rubbed his forehead,<br >fighting for control.

After a moment, a hand rested on his shoulder, gently, then was gone.<br >Zar took a deep, shuddering breath and looked back up at Spock. “I apologize for that outburst. Just when I think I’m completely resigned,<br >something wells up, and I realize that part of me is still scared and doesn’t want to die.”<br >

”I am vastly relieved to hear you say that,” the Vulcan said, his dark<br >eyes intent. “Ever since we met this time, I have been concerned that you were, indeed, resigned past the need for all striving. The thought<br >… distressed … me more than I can easily tell you.”

Zar heard the roughness in his father’s voice, even as he sensed the<br >other’s emotion … even without reaching out, it was there, close to the surface. Ever since he had watched that bloody little scene in his<br >tricorder viewer, the Vulcan had been haunted by it … his pain and sorrow were profound.<br >

”Oh, Father …” Zar searched for words. “I didn’t realize … I<br >didn’t think what it would be like for you, to see me …” He stumbled to a halt. “I’m sorry.”<br >

”it is hardly logical for you to apologize for what I saw in my<br >tricorder,” Spock said, gently. “Obviously, if the event had been something under your control, it would not have happened. Or be going<br >to happen.” He frowned at the tangle of tenses.

”No, but if I hadn’t been so self-obsessed, I’d have realized what<br >effect all this would have on the people who care about me. I’d have tried to summon a little rage.”<br >

”Rage?”<br >

”Something Wynn said on the same subject earlier today.”<br >

”For her milieu, she is truly an admirable person,” Spock said,<br >thoughtfully. “Intelligent, compassionate … I find myself liking her.”<br >

”So do L” the Sovren admitted, then remembered, for no reason, the<br >expression in Wynn’s eyes just after he had kissed her, there in the firelit circle. As though she thought I was mocking her, when actually<br >it wasjust an … impulse. I hope I have time to explain that to her. She deserves to know …<br >

The Vulcan stirred. “It is very late,” he said. “I expect you need<br >your rest.”

And so do you, Zar thought, seeing the deep lines etched around his<br >father’s mouth. “You’re right.” As Spock got up to leave, he cleared his throat. “Father?”<br >

”Yes?”<br >

”You’ve given me a lot to think about. About whether I should remain<br >here, or go with you … whether I should stay still, or risk growing … whether I should … rage.<br >

Thank you.”<br >

”You are very welcome,” Spock said, then added in slow, deliberate<br >Vulcan, “Rest well and peacefully, my son. Remember that on any world the wind eventually wears away the stone, because the stone can only<br >crumble; the wind can change.”

Then the door closed with a soft click, and he was gone.<br >

Zar sat for several minutes, thinking about those final words. Finally<br >he sighed, grasping the arms of his chair as he prepared to rise. It was then that he heard the faint, cautious click from behind the<br >tapestry at his back. A soft rustle, as of fabric, followed …

Soundlessly, he was out of his chair, and his sword was in his hand.<br >Shifting his weight cautiously, he crept toward the arras, fighting a wild impulse to shout, “Dead for a ducat, dead!” as he plunged his blade<br >through it.

Controlyoursel( he admonished himself sternly. Whoever this is, it<br >isn’t Polonius. A second before Zar swept the heavy folds aside, he knew the identity of the intruder.<br >

”My lady wife,” he said, giving Wynn an ironic bow, then holding out his<br >hand, “wouldn’t you be more comfortable near the fire?”

Chapter Ten<br >

I SHOULD HAVE REALIZED, Zar thought, that Clelas would put her in the<br >room adjoining mine. State marriage or no, she is mv wi and co-regent, and therefore entitled to all the - fie privileges and honors oJ’her<br >rank. Including the consorl’s bedchamber. Since Araen’s death, he had never entered the room … he’d bolted the connecting door and had it<br >covered with the tapestry, and nearly succeeded in forgetting it was there.<br >

Wynn hesitated for a second, then her chin came up in a way he was<br >beginning to recognize. “Thank you, my lord,” she said, coolly. “I am somewhat chilled.”<br >

The fingers she placed in his felt like icicles; she wore only a thin<br >linen shift, her cloak thrown over it. Her hair was loosely braided down her back. Zar led her over to the chair and seated her, then he<br >busied himself poking the fire up, adding several logs until it was snapping comfortably.<br >

When he turned back to Wynn, she was staring at him, her eyes defiant.<br >”I don’t suppose you will believe me, my lord, but I never intended what happened just now. I had fallen asleep, and suddenly - . .” she bit<br >her lip distractedly, “suddenly I was awake, thinking someone had called my name. So I approached the door-Cletas showed it to me tonight, when<br >he unbolted it. It was open a crack, and I heard your voice - - .”

She shrugged, tiredly. “I stepped through, intending to call out, but<br >then I heard your father speak, and knew that you were both here. I realized then that no one had summoned me.<br >

”When I hea rd what you were talking about, I was ashamed to admit that I<br >had listened to such a personal conversation, and turned to leave. But the door had closed behind me; I could not get it open without making<br >some sound, so I waited, intending to turn and leave as soon as I could do so without discovery. When you were sitting there so quietly, after<br >Spock left, I thought you had fallen asleep and my chance had come . . .”<br >

Her mortification was genuine; Zar could pick it up without even trying.<br >He nodded, Testing an arm against the high back of her chair. -I understand. These things happen, don’t worry about it. And we were<br >speaking of you, so it is entirely possible you did hear your name.”

”But that is not all,” she continued, not looking up.<br >

”While I was standing there, trying not to listen-though of course that<br >was impossible-it was as though I were receiving a Sending. No vision, no words-but a strong conviction, my lord, that you should do as our<br >father wishes. You y need to go … wherever it is he wants to take you. You must help him. Helping him may be your only means of saving<br >yourself Ifee/ this, so strongly … I am sure Ashmara wills it.”

”You don’t understand what they want me to do,” Zar said.<br >

”You are right, I don’t. They are not of this world, are they?” She<br >hesitated, lacing her fingers in her lap. “I don’t mean spirits or demons, either. I’m not sure what I do mean … except that Kirk told<br >me when first I saw him that he could not explain how they had traveled here. They come from … someplace else. But that’s not altogether<br >it, is it?”

”No. They come from a place-actually, a world, or worlds-that is<br >different, not only in location, but in time.

They come from a time that has yet to be.”<br >

Wynn sighed. “Perhaps you had better give me that explanation you<br >promised me earlier, my lord. It is important that I know all I am capable of understanding about you … and them. Please trust me about<br >this.”

The Sovren shrugged one shoulder. What difference can it make? She<br >probably won’t believe me anyway “Very well.”

Choosing his words carefully, he outlined the truth in the simplest<br >terms he could. The High Priestess listened, never interrupting, frowning a little as she concentrated.<br >

When Zar finished, she looked up at him. “All my life I have sensed<br >that there are things in this world … in this universe … that I might not understand. Now I know that there are many, many things<br >beyond my comprehension.

You tell me that there are worlds beyond worlds, and stars beyond stars<br >… and that distance and time can somehow be one and the same thing. But I do know that no one would undertake the journey those three did<br >without good reason.

You are the one they need to help them.”<br >

Zar frowned. “Just because I contacted the Guardian once …”<br >

”I sense that they are right. If anyone can make this-this God of<br >Time-resume its duties, vou are that one.”

”They hope I can. Nobody knows.”<br >

She leaned forward, her green eyes shining with excitement-and hope.<br >”You must, ” she said. “You must do as they ask.”

”Leave and never return?” Zar raised an eyebrow. “You will indeed<br >inherit quickly, my lady.”

”I do not mean that,” she said, brushing his cynicism aside impatiently.<br >”This Guardian-to it Time is nothing, a roll of fabric folded or discarded as it wills, yes?”<br >

Zar nodded.<br >

”Then it can return you to before the battle begins. You will be there<br >to lead our troops. You will fight, and, perhaps, you will not fall. The Sending is strong, but there is no picture to guide me … just the<br >impression! But if I am right … if you could be saved…”

”Yes?” he prompted, as she trailed off. “What then?”<br >

She bit her lip, all animation vanishing from her features.<br >

”Why … nothing, my lord. Except that a good man would not die.”<br >

”Can such a fate be averted?” Zar mused, half-aloud.<br >

”Wouldn’t that cause a paradox? I wonder …” He considered for a<br >moment, then abandoned the effort. He was too tired to ponder problems in theoretical physics.<br >

But there was something else bothering him, something to do with Wynn<br >herself, and that mystery he felt compelled to understand. He gazed back down at her, his eyes very direct. “I also wonder why it should<br >matter so much to YOU.”

”It matters,” she said brusquely, plainly nervous. “It’s none of your<br >concern why it matters.”

His hand clenched on the chairback-, suddenly he was furious. What’s<br >going on here? Why is she being so secretive?

His voice became soft, deadly, and very mocking. “if it concerns me, I<br >have a right to know, my lady. Why would you wish to delay your succession? What is all this to you?<br >

Why do you care?” He leaned over and tipped up her chin, so she was<br >forced to look at him. “How do you care?”

Stung, Wynn surged to her feet, anger written in every line of her face.<br >”Does everything have to have a reason?

Can’t people do things just because they feel like doing them? You<br >think too much, my lord!” She whirled away from him, heading for the connecting door.<br >

Exasperated, he grabbed her arm and halted her, turning her to face him.<br >”if you had experienced what I have,” he gritted, so angry he was trembling-First McCo ‘ v, then Spock, nowyou! Why can’t everyone leave<br >me alone!-“then you wouldn’t be so sure that feelings were such a great idea, my lady. I learned a long time ago to think, not to feel.<br >

Feeling … hurts.”<br >

She glared back at him. “You imagine you have some monopoly on pain?<br >Your sire was too easy on you. You’re right, you are a coward!”

He gripped both her arms, ignoring her attempt to wrench away “You think<br >so? I’ll show you and you can judge, then!”

”Very well,” she snapped. “Show me.”<br >

Zar released the barriers between them, so that his mind, his memories,<br >surged into hers. Wynn ceased struggling, stiffening as the intensity of the meld claimed her. After a moment, Zar touched the side of her<br >face, his fingers slipping naturally into the old contact points.

In the meld, years rushed past with the speed of heartbeats<br >

Growing up with only Zarabelh.1br a companion. The loneliness, the<br >longing….16r a playmate, for a firiend …

for his father … the loneliness which had seemed terrible -until he<br >discovered the true meaning oj’lhe word, the day qfhis mother’s death. Zarftlt again the heaviness other body as he carried her into the<br >ice-cavern. His only companion, gone …

And then, Araen, screaming in hoarse delirium as she tried to rid her<br >body qf the death his child had become lo her. He had waited, delaying long past the time when he had known it was hopeless, hoping still.for<br >some miracle, something …

and then it was over, his hands and the knfe were slippery wet and hot<br >with new-shed blood, Araen was dead, and his daughter was tr ‘ vingfiebly to cry …<br >

Lillie Araen had lived for ‘six hours. More than long enough Jbr him<br >to.forgive her for her mothers death … to establish an emotional bond that shattered him as he stood holding her, willing her to breathe. He<br >had waited too long to take her. Twice he had succeeded in breathing life into her when her tin ‘ v lungs failed, but not the third time …<br >

All the deaths. down the years, all the pain … all the loss.<br >

And never the solace of lears. He had tried, but they weren - t in him<br >… why, he didn’t know. Instead of healing, the wounds haddrawn andpuckeredinloa.festeringknot ofgrhf and anger …<br >

But even as the last of his memories flowed into Wynn, Zar became aware<br >that the meld was changing, becoming two-way. He began to experience things out of Wynn’s past … her mother’s death, of a lengthy, wasting<br >illness.

Wynn had nursed her tenderly, had closed her eyes when she finally found<br >peace.

Then a short time ofjoy with Nahral, the birth of Lelinos, her son a<br >happiness which only worsened the agonizing shock of finding their brutalized bodies in the ruins of her home …<br >

Zar swallowed, his throat aching. Wynn was right. He had no monopoly<br >on suffering. But, unlike him, she had been strong enough to keep risking herself, to allow herself to continue caring. She had faced her<br >own grief and learned to live with it, not shut it away unhealed.

He realized, then, dimly, that her face was buried against his shoulder;<br >she was shaking violently. And, as the meld between them lessened, he heard her sobbing, deep, racking sounds that seemed to tear themselves<br >from her chest.

”Shhhhh,” he whispered, drawing her closer. “Shhhhh.”<br >

I am sorry, Wynn was repeating without words, in his m i nd. I grieve<br >for you.

And I for you, he told her. I wish I had your strength.<br >

He never knew how much time went by before her weeping lessened, then<br >subsided, but his bad leg was throbbing. Inside, though, where the knot had been drawn so agonizingly tight, there was a loosening. Through<br >their meld, he had experienced her expression of grief and had finally gained some inner release. He sighed, feeling drained, yet calm …<br >as though the bleeding from some invisible yet mortal wound had finally been stanched, allowing healing to begin.<br >

Wynn stirred and sniffled. “Do you have a handkerchief?”<br >

Zar dug into a pocket in his jerkin and managed to locate one. “Here.”<br >

”Thank you.” She stepped back, away from him, and he let his arms drop,<br >trying not to notice how empty they felt.

He stood watching her dry her eyes, feeling awkward.<br >

”Are you all right now?”<br >

”Yes,” she said. “I regret having called you a coward. I was wrong.”<br >

”No, you weren’t. And I apologize for my behavior,” Zar said, stiffly.<br >”I don’t know what made me act like that …

you obviously have your own reasons for wanting to help me … but<br >whatever they are, they are none of my concern.

I am sorry.”<br >

Wynn sighed, turning to leave. She took a step in the direction of her<br >chamber, then halted suddenly, her chin coming up. She faced him again, her eyes holding his. Her expression reflected an odd mixture of<br >emotions …

tenderness, amusement, and frustration, all at once.<br >

He watched as she drew a deep breath. “My dear lord, of course my<br >reasons concern you … and are your concern.

These things happen, though never before to me. Denying how I feel-as<br >I’ve been trying to do for hours-won’t make it go away. I should have known better than to lie to myself … or to you.”<br >

Zar stared down at her, eyes widening. Don’t be an idiot, she can’t<br >mean what you’re thinking … He swallowed, then tried to summon words. ”it almost sounds as though you’re saying that you … that you …”<br >He faltered into silence.

She flushed, stepping back another pace, but her eyes remained steady.<br >”I know what it sounds like. You want it in plain speech? All right, then. Sometime during this day past-and a truly mad day it has been-I<br >found myself loving you. Wanting you. I didn’t want to admit it, even to myself, but it’s true … and I’m not ashamed of it.” For the first<br >time she hesitated, glancing away, her next words coming in a whisper. ”I don’t expect you to share my feelings.”<br >

Zar’s heart was hammering now, and without realizing he’d moved, he<br >found himself close enough to put his hands on her shoulders. Even as they touched, the link flared to life again, and he could feel her<br >emotions … her immediate response to his nearness. His own reaction was so strong and urgent that his breath caught in his throat.<br >

”Wynn …” he began, haltingly. “I’m not good with words at times<br >like this, but ever since we met, I fell …

something, I don’t know …” He reached up and gently touched her<br >face, blindly tracing the coutours of her cheeks, her brows, her lips. ”I don’t know what to think … what to say … or do …”<br >

‘7 think,” she said quietly, “that you should stop thinking.”<br >

Through the link came the knowledge that she very much wanted him to<br >kiss her …

So he did.<br >

Her mouth was cool and soft beneath his, and after a few seconds he<br >pulled her against him, holding her tightly. As the kiss deepened, Wynn’s hands slid up, caressing his shoulders, the back of his neck. The<br >link between them flared up again, then grew steadily … he experienced her pleasure at the feel of his body against hers, and it<br >intensified his own.

No. don’t! The danger … a small voice in his mind warned, but was<br >drowned in the dizzying wave of sensation.

He drew back slightly, began kissing her cheek, her hair, her small,<br >rounded ears. She murmured his name, softly, on a shaken breath. Zar ran his lips along the line ofherjaw, then down her throat, feeling her<br >pulse leap beneath them like a startled animal.

As he did so the link between them deepened into a meld, stifling the<br >little voice that cried danger, submerging his identity, his very sense of self, until there was no room for anything but the feel of her in his<br >arms.

”Wynn …” he whispered.<br >

I love you. The words were not spoken, and Zar had no idea which of<br >them had thought them first. When he raised his head, staring at her with a silent question in his eyes, she answered him wordlessly by<br >pulling his mouth back down to hers. Her kiss filled them both with a starving intensity that blotted out everything except the blind,<br >instinctive need to unite-mind and body, completely.

The covers on the huge curtained bed were like sheets of ice, but Zar<br >scarcely felt the shock ofthem on his flesh; there was only Wynn. Their lovemaking shook and consumed him, their passion seared away the last of<br >the deathshadow … leaving only physical exhaustion, and, finally, sleep …<br >

When Wynn awoke, she had no trouble remembering where she was … even<br >in sleep, the new-forged link she shared with Zar had not disappeared, only faded until it was now just a comfortably glowing ember in the back<br >of her mind. She yawned, stretching her arms above her head, then hastily yanked the comforter back up to her chin-neither of them had<br >thought to draw the bedcurtains, the fire had died out, and the chamber was freezing.<br >

But beneath the covers, next to him, it was warm.<br >

Smiling, Wynn rolled over.<br >

Zar was lying curled on his side, arms folded neatly against his chest,<br >his breathing soft and regular. She studied him, remembering Nahral, how he had appeared younger when he slept, but Zar looked the same as he<br >did awake, frowning a little, intentas though he were concentrating on a problem.<br >

She wondered what time it was … late, certainly. The window curtain<br >was drawn, but bright sunlight seeped around its edges. Dimly, she remembered seeing the gray of early dawn just as she had fallen asleep.<br >It must be close to noon, she thought, realizing with a slight shock that not even a full day had passed since she had first met the man now<br >lying beside her.

Memories of yesterday-the raid, their first meeting, the council, the<br >handfasting ceremony-jumbled together in her mind, leaving her dizzy. It’s as though I leapt through that time gate he told me of and years<br >passed in a heartbeat.

Wynn thought about a world-a universe-where people could travel from<br >star to star inside great space-wagons. The painting in the study that had troubled her so was of a space-wagon named Enterprise. Zar had told<br >her that the Enterprise was capable of traveling so fast that it could circle this entire world (which he had told her was round, of all<br >things!) in less time than it would take to blink an eye. He was her husband, she had been inside his mind where it was impossible to lie, so<br >she must perforce believe him … but it was difficult.

He stirred slightly, then relaxed again with a sound that was not quite<br >a snore. Wynn could see the sharp tip of one car through the rumpled black hair. He is so strange, at times, so alien … and yet, last<br >night it was as though we were truly one being The memory sent a surge of desire throughout her.<br >

Cautiously, she moved one hand until it rested within a fingertip’s<br >width of his shoulder. Even without touching him, she could feel the heat of his body-warmer than hers, as though he were fevered, but she<br >knew now that was normal for him.

What will happen today? she wondered. Will he leave, to try and heal<br >this God qf Time, the Guardian? lfhe leaves, will he come back to me? Should I even want him to return, when it may mean his death?<br >

The gruesome vision that Ashmara had sent her flashed across her mind’s<br >eye, and Wynn blinked back tears. Lady, protect him, I beg you. You brought us together Jbr a reason … I know you did. If only I could<br >be sure that last night was a true Sending! That if he goes with Spock and the others, he will live She wondered whether last night’s Sending<br >meant that Zar would live only if he remained in his sire’s time. Perhaps I should convince him to go, and not return. But to never see<br >him again …

Wynn’s throat tightened painfully. I must be strong, she resolved. If<br >Ashmara sends me knowledge that he’ll be safe only ifhe does not come back. then that is what I will beg him to do.<br >

As if her decision had been a silent signal, Zar woke. He lay staring<br >at her for several moments, his gray eyes shadowed and still weary, then he smiled and reached over to gently touch her hair. “I hardly know<br >what to say, my lady.

The customary formal greetings to a visiting envoy just don’t seem to<br >apply.”

Wynn chuckled. “Then we’ll be informal. Fair morning to you, my<br >lord-assuming it is still morning, which I doubt.”

”Fair morning,” he replied, obediently. “Did you sleep well?”<br >

”Very,” she said, straight-faced. “I had little choice. You tired me<br >out.”

He propped his head up on one hand, and his eyebrow disappeared beneath<br >his hair. “I tired you out? I thought Ashmara didn’t like liars.”

”That’s what I told James Kirk, anyway,” she said, grinning, then<br >stretched, enjoying the way his eyes traced her body beneath the comforter. “is it today that you go back with them?”<br >

”If I go back. I haven’t decided yet.”<br >

”You should go. You must go.”<br >

”But they told me one esper-that’s what they call people like you and<br >me, in my father’s time-has already been injured, almost to the point of death. What if I go, but cannot return?”<br >

Wynn drew a deep breath, feeling actual pain knife through her, but<br >somehow she managed to keep her expression unchanged. “Then I will rule New Araen for both of us, as well as I am able, my lord.” She glanced<br >down at her midsection. “And, if I am lucky, our daughter or son will rule after me.”<br >

Zar’s features froze, and she felt his shock through the link between<br >them, even though they were not touching.

”Our … child? Is that possible?”<br >

She gave him a mock-increduious look. “You’ve forgotten so soon? I’m<br >hurt.”

He sat bolt upright, his cheekbones like stone, his mouth a grim slash.<br >”I mean, is it the right time for you?”

Wynn gazed up at him, startled and worried. What can be wrong? “Yes,<br >it is,” she replied. “And I have taken no herbs to prevent conception. If Ashmara chooses to bless me, there is a good chance.” She sat up,<br >too, pulling the comforter up over one shoulder, her hair tumbling around her. “Why do you look like that, Zar?”<br >

She could feel the fear that sent his heart pounding even before she put<br >out a hand and touched his arm-with the physical contact between them, it was so strong it made her gasp. “Tell me, please! What is wrong?”<br >

He swallowed, and she could feel the effort he was making to control his<br >reaction. “Araen …” he said, in a low voice.

”I was thinking of how she died . .<br >

Wynn shook her he ad. “As I saw her in your mind last night, my lord,<br >she was a small, delicately boned woman, was she not? Tiny and not strong?”<br >

He nodded. “Her head barely reached the middle of my chest.”<br >

”And that was her first babe, yes?”<br >

He nodded again, refusing to turn toward her.<br >

”My dear,” she said, caressing the line ofhisjaw, “look at me. My<br >people are taller and bigger-boned than your Valley-dwellers. I am tall, even for my people. As tall as Cletas, or McCoy. And no one<br >could call me frail. I have home one healthy child already … my entire labor took less than half a day. Trust me, as a healer and<br >midwife, I know about these things. I understand your fear, but I do not share it. Any risk is nothing compared to the joy our child will<br >bring me.”

”But …” he began, then stopped and shrugged one shoulder. “Perhaps<br >you are right.”

Wynn was sure, however, that she had not convinced him.<br >

She considered pursuing the subject, but decided against it.<br >

He would see. She would be fine.<br >

She studied him in the dimness, remembering the way his lean, muscled<br >body had felt in her arms, smooth skin and scars … so many scars. Few warriors lived long enough to collect that many.<br >

Hesitantly, she touched his right shoulder, running her forefinger down<br >it, feeling the hard sinew beneath the flesh, tracing the jagged ridge marring it. “How did you get this one?”<br >

He glanced down at himself and raised an eyebrow.<br >

”Those toothmarks?” he said, deadpan. “Obviously, somebody bit me.”<br >

She smothered a grin and glared at him in pretended indignation. “No, I<br >meant 1his one.”

”An outlaw’s lance. That’s the one that made me decide that I couldn’t<br >put off inventing chain mail.” At her look of incomprehension, he explained, “Armor made from links of steel-the metal my sword is made<br >of. Much stronger than boiled leather, even with scale reinforcement. It can turn a cut from a bronze weapon.”<br >

Wynn’s mind was off and running. “Do you have more of this metal? It<br >would give our forces an advantage.”

”I can equip perhaps two hundred of your soldiers with steel swords,” he<br >said. “And three hundred with steel lance-heads. But no more than that. My smiths have been working night and day for months, just to<br >forge armor and weapons for my own troops.”

”We have smiths, too,” she said. “Can your people teach ours to smelt<br >this new metal?”

”If we make it through the battle, nothing would please me more,” he<br >said. “When do you think they will attack?”

”As soon as the waters ofthe Redbank subside enough for them to cross<br >with the chariots, they will come,” she said.

”My guess is that it will be tomorrow or the day afterno later.”<br >

”That agrees with my latest intelligence,” Zar said. “I want to meet<br >them on Moorgate Plain. My battle plan calls for room to maneuver.”

She gave him a mock-disgusted look, then nipped his shoulder. “Tactics,<br >battle strategies … fine talk for two people in bed on the morning after their handfasting.”<br >

He smiled his half-smile, smoothing her unbound hair back from her face,<br >then bent to kiss her neck where it joined her shoulder. “Wynn … just this time yesterday, I was making you that crazy proposal. Why did you<br >accept?”

Wynn nestled close to him, resting her cheek against his chest. “I<br >don’t know … not for your looks, certainly.”

She heard and felt his breath release in what she recognized as a<br >chuckle. “Seriously,” she said, “it’s hard to put into words. From those first moments in your study, I knew there was something binding us<br >together … asthough we were pieces cut from the same hide. Very different in the way we were formed, and shaped, but created from the<br >same material. I didn’t let myself realize it, at first … but it was always there.”<br >

He drew her closer. “I know. But I only began to recognize it for what<br >it was, when your father goaded me into that kiss.”

”I was furious with him,” Wynn said, smiling reminiscently.<br >

”I could tell.”<br >

”Are you going to help your father, my lord?”<br >

He sighed deeply, his arms tightening around her. “Yes. I have no<br >choice, now.”

. I’m glad.”<br >

Wynn shut her eyes, thinking that soon-too soon-they would have to get<br >up, that he would have to leave, that she might never see him again. Stop thinking, she told herself fiercely, concentrating on feeling only<br >warm skin and the soft prickle of black hair beneath her cheek. She gave herself up to the moment, trying to convince herself (and almost<br >… almost … succeeding) that it would never end.

Zar was sitting at his desk in his study, checking supply requisitions,<br >when Cletas entered and saluted. “Here are the latest intelligence reports, my liege.”<br >

”Good. I’ve ordered a meeting of all troop commanders in two hours.<br >Commander Madon, Heldeon, the Lady Wynn and the rest of the Danreg commanders will be joining us.” He took the vellum sheets and studied<br >them.

”So, the Redbank will not permit a crossing today … how did Rorgan<br >and Laol take the news that Heldeon is now allied with us?”

The Second-in-War smiled. “About as we expected. They were heard<br >quarreling long into the night.”

”Good. If they’re fighting each other, they’re not planning for this<br >battle. Status on the catapults?”

”We’ve moved two, and will move two more this afternoon. Two more<br >tonight.”

”The footing?”<br >

”Drying fast. The cavalry will drill late this afternoon.”<br >

Zar let out a long breath. “Then I guess we’ll be as prepared as<br >possible. I want you to break out all the extra steel weapons and distribute them to the Lady Wynn’s selected troops, on her orders.”<br >

”Yes, sire.” Cletas hesitated. “By the way, I haven’t encountered the<br >lady yet today. Heldeon sent her waiting women down this morning, but when they went to her chamber, they said she wasn’t there. Have you …<br >seen her?”

The Sovren glanced up quickly, suddenly remembering just who it had been<br >that had unbolted the connecting door.

”She’s taking a bath,” he said, levelly. “In my chamber.”<br >

”I … see,” Cletas said, his tone carefully neutral.<br >

Zar raised an inquiring eyebrow. “You see what, Cletas?”<br >

”Nothing, my liege,” the Second said, fervently. “Just a figure of<br >speech.”

A rap on the study door saved the Second. Zar gave Cletas an “I’ll deal<br >with you later” look. “That will be Zaylenz, Yarlev, Ingev, Reydel, and Trebor Damas,” he said. “I asked them to assemble before the briefing.<br >I have something important to tell all of you.”

Doctor McCoy grinned exultantly. “You’ll come! This is great! I knew<br >you’d see reason … wait’ll I tell Jim and Spock.”

Zar raised a cautioning hand. “Not so fast, Leonard. As soon as I meet<br >with the Danreg officers, I’ll go with you and try to contact the Guardian. But then I’m returning for the battle.”<br >

McCoy felt as though he’d been punched in the stomach.<br >

He sat blinking, then finally took a deep breath, searching for his<br >voice. “Why, Zar? You know what’s going to happen …”

The Sovren’s mouth was set. “Maybe. On the other hand, now that I know<br >about it, maybe I can do something to prevent it. Wynn thinks there’s a chance.”<br >

”And you’re telling me you’re planning on staking your life on a<br >barbarian priestess’s superstitious mumbojumbo?” the doctor asked, using his most cutting tone.<br >

The gray eyes opposite his were nearly colorless in the sunlight. “I<br >have to come back here,” Zar repeated. “And don’t forget you’re talking about my wife, Leonard.”<br >

”Goddamn it, you’re as stubborn as your old man!”<br >

McCoy raged, slamming his fist on the table. “What’s keeping you here?<br >Or do you just have a martyr complex?”

Zar’s mouth tightened. “What’s keeping me is why I had to see you …<br >why I told you first. Doc, I need your help.

Please.”<br >

The medical officer drew a long, slow breath, held it, then let it out.<br >Then another. “All right,” he said, finally. “What can I do?”

”While I’m aboard the Enterprise, I want you to sterilize me.”<br >

”Sterilize?” McCoy repeated blankly. For one wild moment all he could<br >think of was Nomad, that weird little robot that had wiped out an entire system of sentient beings, following its programming directive to<br >”sterilize.”

The thing had nearly killed them all. “What do you mean, Istefilize’?”<br >

”What do you think I mean?” Zar demanded, his control visibly slipping.<br >”I never had the chance to learn Vulcan bio-control. So I want you to do whatever it takes to render me infertile … incapable of fathering<br >children. How much more explicit do I have to be?”

”Okay, okay, I understand what you want. But why?”<br >

The Sovren didn’t meet his eyes. “I’m afraid for Wynn.”<br >

McCoy sat back in his chair and raised an eyebrow.<br >

”Oho. I begin to see. So much for the marriage of convenience.”<br >

”I also want you to take a tricorder reading on her today,” Zar said,<br >his face schooled to an impassive mask. “And, if necessary, give her something.”<br >

”Like what?”<br >

”Something to prevent conception, damn it!” Zar’s voice cracked. “You<br >have to!”

The doctor sat up. “The hell I do. You’re the one who has a right to<br >decide about your body, and the same goes for Wynn. I gather you … have cause to worry?”<br >

The Sovren nodded, tight-lipped.<br >

”Well, how does Wynn feel about it? Does she want a baby?”<br >

”Yes. And she can have them-but not by me. She can choose anyone she<br >wants, but I’m … there’s something … wrong … with me. Genetically.”<br >

”When I examined you twenty years ago there wasn’t.”<br >

”There must’ve been an error in your tests. Araen …”<br >

Zar swallowed, fighting for calm. “Araen died as a result of<br >childbirth.”

”I figured.”<br >

”And my daughter, too. She lived only a few hours. it must have been<br >my mixed parentage. My genes are defective somehow …”

”For a number of reasons, I doubt that,” the doctor said, gently. “First<br >of all, did Araen have a normal pregnancy?”

”As far as I knew … I mean, as far as I could determine from what the<br >midwives said, and from reading the medical texts I brought. But she was never strong. Her father told me she’d always been frail. But she<br >was so happy, so full of life, you didn’t notice it.”

”What about the delivery?”<br >

”She couldn’tZar told him, unsteadily. “She was in labor for two days.<br >The moment the contractions started, I began to feel sick, you remember how, and I knew-” He took a deep breath, then cleared his throat. “The<br >midwives tried everything, but she never dilated more than a few centimeters. Finally, when she was comatose, and I knew she would die<br >no matter what, I did what she’d been begging me to do for hours … I took my knife, and performed a Caesarean. I-I-it was hard to cut deep<br >enough … at first. And I thought I’d seen blood in battles, but-“

”I understand. Take it easy, son,” McCoy broke in, feeling his heart go<br >out to the other. “But what makes you think it was your fault? Was the child deformed?”<br >

Zar had leaned his head in his hands, and didn’t look up.<br >

”No, outwardly she was perfect. She just never breathed properly-“<br >

”Tiny? Premature?” -No, the midwives told me she was a good-sized<br >baby.”

”Well … it’s impossible for me to give a completely accurate<br >diagnosis in a case like this, of course, but it sounds to me as though the infant was too large for the birth canal.<br >

It’s not an uncommon problem, especially considering that Araen was a<br >small woman. And after such a prolonged labor, the baby simply didn’t have the strength to survive.”<br >

Zar looked up at him, wordlessly.<br >

”Are you listening to me?” McCoy held the younger man’s eyes with his<br >own. “I found out something this trip that I didn’t know before. The people of this world probably evolved from the same basic stock as the<br >Vulcans and the Rigellians.” Briefly, the doctor went on to outline Spock’s theory.<br >

Zar looked thoughtful. “That explains a lot of things that have puzzled<br >me since I first met you. I was really surprised, for example, to discover that human blood was red. I’d never seen it that color before<br >- . .”

”But the most important thing is that there’s no reason to think you and<br >Wynn couldn’t have healthy offspring,” McCoy said. “What happened to Araen wasn’t caused by some defect in your chromosomes. It was a<br >tragedy, yes, but nobody’s fault. If you want, I’ll give you a complete genetic workup in sickbay, but I know that’s what I’m going to find.<br >

And,” he finished grimly, “if you still want me to, I’ll do what you’re<br >asking at that time. All it takes is one hypo.”

”And Wynn? What if she’s already . - .”<br >

”If she’s pregnant, and wants the baby, then that’s her risk … and<br >her decision. But, frankly, from my tricorder readings of her yesterday, I’d say don’t worry. She’s strong and healthy.” He smiled<br >reassuringly.

Zar nodded, though McCoy knew he hadn’t convinced him. “All right,<br >Leonard. Thanks.”

”You’re welcome, son.” The doctor stood up. “I’ll tell Kirk and Spock<br >that we’ve got a date with an ailing time portal.”

James T. Kirk entered the common room to find Spock standing, hands<br >clasped behind his back, staring out the window. “Bones says that Zar has agreed to return with us and attempt to contact the Guardian.”<br >

The Vulcan turned, the reddish light from the westering sun highlighting<br >his features into a satanic mask. “Did he indicate whether he will remain in our time?”<br >

Kirk nodded, reluctantly. “He says he’s coming back to New Araen in<br >time for the battle. He won’t budge on that.”

Spock looked away, his mouth tightening. “That is his right.”<br >

Kirk nodded. “But maybe we can still get him to change his mind. If we<br >can convince him to spend a day or so aboard the Enterprise … remember how he loved the ship?”<br >

”Yes. But I also recall that Zar is a remarkably stubborn<br >

’the fruit don’t fall far from the tree,” as the saying goes.” At the<br >Vulcan’s raised eyebrow, he translated, “I’d say he comes by that honestly.”<br >

”Are you by any chance intimating that I am stubborn, Jim?”<br >

”Uh … well, yes. Not that that isn’t a good character trait at<br >times,” Kirk added, hastily. “It’s saved my hide more than once.”

The Vulcan’s mouth twitched fractionally. “You are right.<br >

I am stubborn. So are you, by the way.”<br >

”Who, me?” Kirk’s hazel eyes widened innocently, then the admiral gave<br >in with a chuckle. “You’re right, as usual.”

They stood together, watching the swollen crimson disk of Beta Niobe<br >sink toward the peak of Big Snowy. “Bones tells me he’s worried about whether Zar is up to this …<br >

he’s been under a lot of pressure, trying to hold things together here.<br >Are we doing the right thing, asking him to tackle the Guardian? What if he cracks wide open?”<br >

”The same concern has been on my mind,” Spock conceded. “Especially in<br >view of what happened to D’berahan.

Zar has not had an easy time of it here.”<br >

”So I gathered.”<br >

The Vulcan’s voice was grim. “But our duty is to restore the time<br >portal using any means possible. Zar has agreed to try, therefore we have no choice but to let him.”<br >

”I suppose so,” Kirk agreed, reluctantly. He hesitated, individual.”<br >

Kirk cleared his throat. “Well and then on impulse asked, “Spock …<br >have you ever thought about whether you did the right thing, contacting Zar?”<br >

The Vulcan raised a surprised eyebrow, and the admiral impatiently shook<br >his head. “No, that’s not what I meant, of course you did the right thing! Zar was alone in that frozen wilderness, with no chance at a<br >normal life. But …

suppose he had had a normal life. School, a job, friends, relatives . .<br >.”

Kirk turned to stare fixedly out the window, watching the first fingers<br >of darkness crawl down the mountain slopes.

”in a case like that, do you think it’s … fair … for a father to<br >contact an adult child? Someone he’s seen a few times, but who was never told who his father was?”<br >

The admiral felt the Vulcan’s concerned gaze, but did not turn away from<br >the window … could not turn away. “I do not know, Jim,” Spock said, finally.<br >

”Neither do I,” Kirk whispered.<br >

After a long moment, he felt a light touch on his shoulder.<br >

”Jim … is there anything I can do to help?”<br >

The admiral took a deep breath, then turned back to face his friend. He<br >squared his shoulders. “I don’t think so, Spock. Let’s find Zar and get on with it.”<br >

The Sovren had obviously just concluded his briefing session when the<br >two officers reached his study. Heldeon was halfway through the door, his arm around Wynn, Commander Madon beside him. The rest of the Danreg<br >and Lakreo officers followed. Kirk and Spock nodded to the Danreg chieftain, then went in.<br >

McCoy was sitting on the big inlaid table, talking to Zar, who was<br >surrounded by orderly piles of tactical diagrams, maps, and lists. Spock immediately walked over and immersed himself in studying the battle<br >plans.

”Ready to leave?” Kirk asked the Sovren.<br >

”As soon as I say good-bye to Wynn,” Zar said. He rose and left the<br >room, reappearing a moment later with the High Priestess. Kirk’s gaze sharpened as he watched them.<br >

Neither Zar nor Wynn touched or even looked at each other as they<br >entered the room, but something had changed about the atmosphere between them …<br >

Uh-oh, the admiral realized. I suspect this marriage no longer belongs<br >in the ‘in name only’ category. This really complicates things. Kirk gave McCoy an inquiring glance over Spock’s oblivious head, and the<br >doctor, guessing his thoughts, nodded silent agreement.

”Are you leaving now?” Wynn was asking, softly.<br >

”in a few minutes,” Zar told her.<br >

”Can I watch you go?”<br >

Her husband shook his head. “I don’t think that would be good idea.<br >The Guardian isn’t working properly. There is chance you’d be pulled through with us.”<br >

Her chin came up. “All right.” She hesitated, then went on, her voice<br >carefully controlled, “My lord, I had hoped that Ashmara would give me knowledge as to whether you should try to return, or not. But She has<br >remained silent, so I have no way of knowing what is best … for you, that is.<br >

So you must decide.”<br >

”Don’t worry,” Zar said, softly. “I will come back.” He raised a hand<br >to brush her cheek, and, turning her head, she kissed his palm.

”I know,” she said, steadily. Then she turned and walked out of the<br >room, head high.

Zar stood watching her until the guard closed the door, before he turned<br >to look at Kirk. “All right, let’s go.”

The admiral glanced down at his former First Officer, who was still<br >intent on the battle plans. He cleared his throat ostentatiously, then, when the other did not respond, bumped the chairleg with his booted toe.<br >”Spock?”

The Vulcan looked up. “Yes, Admiral?”<br >

”Time to go. We’ve got a universe to save.”<br >

Chapter Eleven<br >

EVEN AS HIS FEET felt the shock of landing on Gateway’s ashy soil, Zar’s<br >mind filled with a terrible, echoing emptiness. He staggered, his bad leg gave way, then he found himself on his hands and knees, gasping.<br >

Wynn! No!<br >

She was gone, erased, as though she had never been. Black oblivion<br >flickered at the edge of his vision, and he had no strength to fight it.

”Zar!” he heard McCoy yell, then, “Grab him, Jim!”<br >

Hands clamped on his shoulders, and Kirk’s voice, hoarse with alarm,<br >filled his ears “Spock-what’s wrong with him? The same thing as D’berahan?”<br >

”I do not know-“<br >

”Spock, Jim, turn him over so I can get an airway-“<br >

Vulcan fingers brushed the side of his face, then Spock’s voice,<br >tersely “I should have realized. Suddenly, he has lost contact with Wynn … in this time and place, she is dead.<br >

You know what a shock that is for t he survivor of a bonding, Jim.”<br >

The blackness was flooding over him in waves, each stronger than the<br >other. With a final sigh, Zar let it claim him.

But even as he did so, light blossomed in his mind, and a familiar<br >presence grew, filling the void. Wynn is waitingfor you, it told him, wordlessly. She is not dead … she is just on the other side of this<br >portal. You promised to return to her …

Yes, he thought, remembering. I did promise …<br >

Breathe, instructed Spock’s presence. I will help.<br >

With an effort Zar drew a long breath, then another, and as he did so<br >the darkness ebbed and was gone. He still felt Wynn’s absence, but now that he understood what had happened, he could stave off the despairing<br >emptiness.

Then, with a rush that left him sick and dizzy, he was back in his body,<br >hearing the moan of Gateway’s desolate wind, feeling the ground cold beneath him.<br >

Zar opened his eyes to find Spock bending over him.<br >

”You okay now, son?” McCoy’s voice asked, and Zar turned his head to see<br >the doctor, with Kirk crouched beside him.

”I’m all right,” he tried to say, but his tongue was numb and would not<br >cooperate. He nodded, instead.

After a moment he tried to sit up, and they let him. Spock studied his<br >face intently, his own face still pale from the strain of the mind-link. ”I am sorry,” Spock said. “I should have warned you. But I did not<br >realize that you and Wynn were bonded.”

”Not your fault,” Zar said, his voice still a little slurred.<br >

”I didn’t know, either. Is that what you call it, when someone’s mind<br >is always there, in the back of yours? Araen was not esper, so my … contact … with her was different.”<br >

His father nodded. “Yes. On Vulcan when one partner in a bonding dies,<br >the family links mentally to offer support until the remaining partner can adjust to the loss.”<br >

Zar shook his head, trying to clear it, then his eyes widened with<br >alarm. “Wynn!” he said. “Did the same thing happen to her? There’s nobody to link with her!”<br >

”I do not know,” Spock said. “But the solution is for you to return<br >only a heartbeat after you left. In that case, she would barely have time to realize your absence.”<br >

”If the Guardian will cooperate,” Zar muttered, turning to look over at<br >the time portal. “Let me up.”

Still shaky, he climbed to his feet and brushed himself off.<br >

Slowly he limped back and forth, feeling his legs gradually steady. His<br >mind cleared, grew calm. The lack of Wynn was still an aching void within him, but now he was able to shut the pain away, ignore it, so he<br >could concentrate on the task at hand.

Finally, he stopped before the portal and stood braced against the<br >desolate wind, his scarlet cloak whipping behind him, staring up at the stars through its central opening.<br >

Memories of his last time on Gateway ran through his mind.<br >

Off to his right he could see the outcropping of rock where he and Spock<br >had hidden from the Romulans, cramped into a tiny space for hours. Over there was the place where he had struggled with Tal, the Romulan leader.<br >And where he stood now was the place where Spock had joined minds with him, to tell his son the truth about the Vulcan’s encounter with<br >Zarabeth … that they had shared something very special. That Spock had, in that time, in his own way, loved her.<br >

That was when he told me he was proud of me Zar turned at the sound of a<br >familiar wheep. “Kirk to Enterprise, ” the admiral was saying. The younger man wondered where he’d gotten the communicator, then decided<br >Kirk must have cached it against their return.

”Enterprise. Scott here.”<br >

”How long were we gone, Scotty?”<br >

”About fifteen minutes, Admiral. Did ye find the laddie?”<br >

Kirk looked over at Zar with a wry grin. “You couldn’t call him a<br >’laddie’ anymore, but yes, we found him.”

”Good. Shall I order you beamed up, sir?”<br >

”No, as long as we’re here, we’ll make the attempt now. If I don’t<br >check back in an hour, or if the time waves reappear, get the Enterprise out of this system and contact Admiral Morrow for further instructions,<br >Scotty. Understand?”

”Aye, Admiral. Good luck, sir.”<br >

”Thanks, Scotty. Out.”<br >

Zar moved closer to the monolithic stone structure; he was now within<br >touching distance of the Guardian. He heard the soft slither of rock beneath bootheels and turned to find Spock at his side. He tried to<br >smile at his father, but his mouth was so dry it felt more like a rictus. “It’s embarrassing to admit, but I’m scared,” he muttered.<br >

”Logical, under the circumstances. So was I,” Spock said.<br >

Quickly, before he could change his mind, Zar placed both hands on the<br >stone.

It was like handling his tricorder-nothing sentient responded to his<br >cautious mental probe. Nothing at all.

This isn’t right. Zar thought, probing harder. When I touched it<br >before, it was alive-even if artificially constructed, it was self-aware.<br >

He leaned his forehead against the portal, between his spread<br >fingertips, and tried again, putting all his effort into breaking through. The external world faded, grew dim and remote, then was gone<br >altogether.

It was as though he stood (but he had no physical body) within a<br >nearinfinite black cavern, where occasional streaks of light brightened, then dimmed, with no pattern that he could see. His mind<br >was only a tiny dart of white light, trying to find its way through an immense invisible maze.<br >

The real Guardian must be here somewhere, he thought.<br >

After all, it is tied to its physical being, even as I am. Or is it?<br >

Flashes of light exploded beside him, or through him, but the “thoughts”<br >they represented were sterile and artificial -machine-generated, reminding Zar of Spock’s description of Vejur.<br >

Where is it? he wondered, sending his little dart of light faster,<br >moving deeper into the illimitable labyrinth. Where?

Zar bounced off barriers, careened into dead ends, hurtled down blind<br >alleys, searching …

He was now so deep into the machine-generated portion of the entity that<br >he was in danger of being lost-the link between his physical body and his mental self stretched perilously thin. Can’t go much farther …<br >have to find it soon. Where?

He wished he had asked Spock to link with him. The Vulcan could have<br >amplified the connection between his mind and his body … too late now.<br >

Can’t … go … muchfarther - What’s that?<br >

In the distance, he “saw” something different-rapid-fire pulses of<br >golden light stretching into infinity. They dimmed even as Zar watched. He threw himself toward them, praying his own mind-body link would hold.<br >

Made it!<br >

The moment he “touched” the gold light, Zar knew he had reached his<br >goal. The warmth, the sentience, even the humor belonged to a living, self-aware being-he had located the Guardian.<br >

Chaotic images danced in his mind, assaulting him with their<br >alienness-he had to pull back, shielding his consciousness, lest he be pulled under, his own identity submerged by the vast, ancient mentality<br >he now touched.

Guardian? he projected the thought. There is a problem.<br >

Time is not running correctly. Come back with me. You must resume your<br >duties.

No response.<br >

The flashes of aurulent light stretched thinner…<br >

thinner …<br >

Alarmed, Zar realized that even the Guardian itself was in grave danger<br >of being lost in this … dimension? Plane?

There were no words to describe this immensity-and he knew he could not<br >follow the time entity any farther. His own mind-body link was too fragile …<br >

Guardian! he demanded, thrusting the thought as he would have aimed a<br >sword-stroke. Link with me! I know the way back!

A slight flicker of awareness …<br >

Yes! he insisted. I know the way back. I have been seeking you. Come<br >with me, before you are lost!

IMPLEMENTING PRIMARY PROGRAMMING SUBROUTINE UNIVERSEDIMENSION/CONTINUUM OF ORIGIN-RETURN’TO FACILITATE RETURN OF SELF AND ORIGINATORS TO<br >TEMPORAL DISPLACEMENT LOCATION. GUIDE IS NOW AVAILABLE.

Zar caught only fragments of the Guardian’s thought processes, but he<br >understood enough to know that it was accepting his offer. As swiftly as he could, he reversed “direction” and headed back.<br >

Almost immediately, he knew he was in trouble. The energy he had<br >expended to reach the Guardian had left him with little in reserve. It was like trying to swim against a violent current … he kept going,<br >but his mind-body link was now so weak that tracing it back was difficult. Zar struggled, trying not to panic, using the Vulcan mental<br >disciplines Spock had taught him long ago to help him focus his energy and calm his mind.<br >

Serenity … peace …<br >

Starlight, cool water, shadows on sand …<br >

Strive without anxiety, focus effort, harness energy … the mind rules<br >… the mind rules …

He was making progress, but so slowly! And the link was fading, even as<br >he tried to summon the power to renew it … fading …

Suddenly the strength was there, his for the using-not his own energy,<br >but another’s. For a wild moment Zar thought that the Guardian had recognized his danger and was aiding him, but as he drew on that other<br >power, he recognized it for Spock’s.

Of course he’d monitor … I should have realized …<br >

He was moving again, faster and faster, as his mind-body link was<br >renewed. Moving-and the Guardian was still following him.

The surrounding darkness grew lighter …<br >

He was-back!<br >

Gradually, Zar grew aware of the roughness of stone against his hands<br >and cheek, and the pressure of Vulcan fingers against his temple. He could hear the wind, feel its cold touch. Opening his eyes, he saw the<br >bluish-gray rock, and the ruins through the central opening.

The Sovren caught his breath with relief, even as his legs threatened to<br >buckle under him. Bracing himself against the Guardian, he levered himself up off the stone monolith. As he did so, Spock dropped his<br >hands. Zar turned his head, met his father’s eyes, dark and exhausted in a haggard, drawn countenance. He looks like I feel.<br >

Zar swallowed some of the dryness in his mouth, then opened it to thank<br >the Vulcan for rescuing him -just as the fabric of the universe around them exploded into a million insane pieces.<br >

I’m going mad, was his first thought as he lurched back, closing his<br >eyes, flinging his arms over his face, trying to hide from the searing barrage of color now erupting from the time portal. Color and<br >sound-taste and smell-they all jumbled together, mixed and ran like water-soluble pigments on a palette held beneath a waterfall.<br >

Several times Zar had been wounded so badly that he’d become delirious<br >before he had regained consciousness …

this was a little like that, but infinitely worse. He grunted with<br >pain, heard Spock’s agonized gasp, then stole a glance and saw the Vulcan reel and go to his knees, evidently blinded by the shrieking<br >flashes of color.

Still shielding his eyes, Zar staggered forward, made a wild grab for<br >his father’s arm, and dragged him up. Ten weaving, stumbling steps, all the while praying his leg would hold out, then he thrust Spock into the<br >shelter of a crumbling wall and followed him.

Once out of sight of the Guardian, the assault changed, invading Zar’s<br >mind with callous disregard for his individuality, his sanity-not to mention his privacy. He struggled to remain conscious, but couldn’t<br >tell whether or not he succeeded … it was like being thrust, awake, into an unending nightmare<br >

Thunder boomed and insect wings whispered, dissolving into splashes of<br >acid vermilion and icy aquamarine …

leaving the bitter coppery taste of blood in his mouth to send mocking<br >kisses trailing down his skin …

… even as the cosmos formed around him, ballooning outwardfrom a<br >single mathematical point containing nearinfinite mass to spawn a seething vortex of embryonic galaxies, fleeing each other at terrible<br >velocities …

… and he was born and died in a single instant, his mind<br >simultaneously crushed and expanded, sifted and tossed aside, all that he was, that he had striven for, recognized and rejected by intellects<br >asfar above his own as his was above an insect’s-leaving him hollow, drained and shamed …<br >

to stare, helplessly mesmerized, at an orange one dimensional<br >universefilled with jade green dots, which began to shimmer and waver, looming and receding-then he was rushing at warp-speed down a black,<br >contracting hole in space, toward a radiant, welcoming Light. I’m dead, he thought, with unshakable certainly. The twentieth century<br >melaphysicists were right …

… but just as he reached the Light, and realized that it was actually<br >a portal to Somewhere Else, it slammed shut with a bang that made him wince, leaving him in the dark, eternally alone and abandoned, lost now<br >beyond anyfinding, lost, lost …

Zar returned to awareness slowly. He realized he was sprawled<br >face-down, his head and upper chest resting across something warm and living, his belly and legs on something cold and unyielding. Harsh<br >breathing and low, moaning gasps mixed with the sound of the wind. Zar’s teeth fastened in his lower lip as he tried to move his arms, and the<br >moans stopped. Only then did he realize he had been making them.

The harsh, pain-fifled breaths were coming from Spock, who was crumpled<br >beneath him. Zar quickly pushed himself up, realizing he must have shoved the Vulcan down and then fallen on him when the worst of the-the<br >whatever it was-hit.

Kneeling, he carefully turned the other over, gently brushed some of the<br >ashy dirt from the austere features.

”Father?” he whispered hoarsely. “Are you all fight?”<br >

It was nearly a minute before Spock slowly opened his eyes, and it was<br >another before they became rational. He coughed, trying to stifle the sound, and Zar supported him.<br >

”Jim? McCoy?” he asked finally, his voice low and rough.<br >

”I don’t know,” Zar replied. “They were farther away than we were . .<br >.” For a moment he was tempted to shout for the admiral and the doctor, but he reconsidered. It might not be a good idea to advertise their<br >position, and the fact that they were still alive. “I don’t like the sound of that cough,” he continued, keeping his voice low. “Is your<br >chest all right?”

The Vulcan nodded, wiping his mouth. “Only dust.” His voice was a husky<br >wheeze. “I … inhaled it when you fell on me. Knocked my wind out.”

”I’m sorry. Can you move your arms and legs?”<br >

Spock tried, stiffly. “Yes,” he said, his voice growing stronger. “I<br >am essentially undamaged. And don’t apologize. I suspect you may have saved my life. Although,” he repressed a groan as he struggled to sit<br >up, and only succeeded with Zar’s help, “I would not care to repeat the experience. What happened?”<br >

”I don’t know. I was just getting ready to thank you for bringing me<br >back-thus saving my life-when something erupted out of the portal. I remember stumbling back, and yanking you out of range, and-that’s all.<br >Except for a lot of … hallucinations. Rather … unsettling … ones.”<br >

Spock nodded. “You, too?”<br >

Zar frowned. “The question is, what do we do now?”<br >

”Locate Jim and McCoy. Have you seen my tricorder?”<br >

”No.” The younger man crawled over to peer out at the time portal. “Yes.<br >It’s lying beside the Guardian.”

”Do you see any sign of our attackers?”<br >

”Nothing visible out there. But that may not mean anything. I don’t<br >believe those … things … had physical bodies.”

”Can you reach the tricorder?”<br >

”I … think … so …” As he spoke, Zar dropped to his belly and<br >wriggled closer to the time portal. Finally, when he had run out of cover, he made a long arm, a quick rush, and then beat a hasty retreat<br >to their hideout. “Got it.”

The Vulcan took the instrument and studied its readouts for a moment,<br >then nodded, obviously relieved. “I pick up two live humans. Jim and McCoy.”<br >

”What about the others? The ones from inside the Guardian?”<br >

”Readings are fluctuating … at times it seems as though there are<br >energy surges near the portal … but it is not a type of energy I have encountered before. At other times, the readings are closer to that of<br >matter … but there are differences.” His eyebrow climbed. ”Fascinating. Now I am getting readings that show a strange ambiguity<br >somewhere between the two states.”

”Where are Jim and Leonard?”<br >

”That way,” the Vulcan nodded over at a heaped pile of ruins. “We<br >should— He broke off, listening.

Zara warm, feminine voice was calling. “Spock? I’m sorry that<br >happened, it wasn’t intentional. Come out, please.”

I am dead, Zar thought, feeling the blood drain out of his face. Or<br >mad.

He bit his lip fiercely, telling himself that he couldn’t be hearing<br >that particular voice. Then he saw Spock’s expression, and realized that the Vulcan heard it, too. Collective hallucination? Or are we<br >both dead?

”That sounds like …” Spock began, then shook his head, frowning.<br >”I must be mistaken.”

”You’re not,” Zar assured him. “I don’t know how this could happen, or<br >why, but that voice was the only other one I ever heard for the first nineteen years of my life. I couldn’t mistake it.”<br >

Heart pounding with a wild mixture of hope and apprehension, he edged<br >over to peer out again.

Zarabeth.<br >

She was standing about twenty paces from the Guardian of Forever, her<br >pale hair brushing the shoulders of her fur jacket, her blue eyes eagerly scanning the area around her.<br >

With a gesture so familiar that it hurt Zar to watch, she raised a hand<br >to push back a strand of wind-tossed hair. -Zar?” she called, anxiously. ”Son?”<br >

The Sovren sagged back against the stone, his palms pressed against his<br >eyes. “Oh, Goddess,” his voice emerged as an agonized whisper. “it is. It’s Mother. Zarabeth is standing right in front of the portal.”<br >

In a moment Spock moved past him, stared for a long moment, then turned<br >back, propping himself up against the wall as though he, too, needed its support. The Vulcan rubbed his temples wearily. It was nearly a minute<br >before he spoke, and when he did, there was a trace of old pain in his voice. -Zar, you know as well as I do that cannot be Zarabeth out<br >there.”

Anger flared. “Why not?” Zar demanded. “She came out of the Guardian,<br >didn’t she? Maybe it went back and got her before she … before.” The Sovren glared at his father, stubbornly refusing to acknowledge what he<br >already subconsciously knew was the truth.

Spock just stared back at him, wordlessly.<br >

Finally Zar broke their locked gaze and sighed. “You’re right, damn<br >you. But she looks so real. Just as I remember her, on her last dawn, when she stood in the cave mouth waving-I had left her asleep, and my<br >mind was on the hunt, so I didn’t go back to say a proper good-bye … you can imagine how much I regretted that later …”<br >

The Vulcan’s gaze sharpened. “More proof that we are presented with an<br >illusion. I saw her as she was when I said farewell to her-when she was some twenty years younger than the Zarabeth you just saw.”<br >

”Spock? Zar? Please, we need to talk.”<br >

The Sovren winced and resisted the urge to clamp his hands over his<br >ears. “You’re saying that the image we both saw was extracted from our minds. That the … beings …<br >

who came out of the time portal gave us an illusion we would both<br >recognize.”

”Yes.”<br >

”To lure us out so they can finish us?”<br >

The Vulcan shook his head. “I think not. If they had wanted us dead,<br >we would indeed be dead. Their mental power was … beyond anything I have ever encountered. I believe instead that we may have fallen prey<br >to some kind of unintentional backlash caused by their arrival through th e Guardian, and that one of them has taken Zarabeth’s form to reassure<br >us.”

”So, what are you suggesting?” Zar asked, raising an eyebrow. “That we<br >just walk right out there?”

”Yes, I believe that would be our wisest course,” Spock said, unruffled.<br >-Zar? Spock? Please . .

”And I worried that I was crazy,” Zar muttered.<br >

”They can find us, even if we attempt to hide,” his father pointed out.<br >”Whereas a demonstration of trust and goodwill may improve our situation.” Spock stood up and began brushing himself off. “I only hope<br >that Jim still has his communicator and has checked in with Mr. Scott. His hour time-limit passed nine minutes and thirty-five seconds ago, and<br >I have no desire to be marooned here on Gateway.”

”We could go back to Sarpeidon through the Guardian,” Zar remarked,<br >shaking the dust out of his cloak. He looked over at the Vulcan, deadpan. “I’m always in need of good officers. Want a job? Can you<br >handle a sword?”

Spock’s mouth quirked. “I have, although I am better with other ancient<br >Vulcan weapons. Let’s go.”

Together, they stepped out from behind the wall, and headed toward the<br >woman standing before the time entity.

”Zar! Darling, oh, I’ve missed you so!” She ran toward them. “Spock,<br >I’ve found you again!”

Despite his resolution to hang back, Zar found himself a step or so in<br >the forefront. A. “Zarabeth’ reached him, he moved forward, determined to grab her, thus brutally shattering the illusion-and then berate the<br >creatures that had given him that one moment of cruel hope.

His hands encountered living flesh, and a moment later she was in his<br >arms, hugging him frantically. “Oh, Zar!

Son!”<br >

Zar’s mouth dropped open with blank astonishment-he had convinced<br >himself that he would embrace only air.

Over her shoulder he saw Jim Kirk and Leonard McCoy step out of the<br >ruins and walk over to stand beside the Vulcan. All of them-even Spock-wore expressions similar to his own.<br >

She was so perfect-the color of her hair (white strands liberally mixed<br >with the gold, a pale, silken helmet); the feel of her fur parka (white fur from a bardok, he had made it for her himself, as a present); even<br >her scent (oilsmoke and sweet herbs).

Zar permitted himself a last hug, then he kissed the smooth cheek<br >gently, and stepped back. “Thank you,” he said, holding his voice steady with an effort. “I never got to say a proper farewell to her,<br >but now I feel that somehow I have. Now, please … who are you?”

”Zarabeth’ looked up at him, then over at the others.<br >

”I-well, I am not a. “I,” strictly speaking … but sometimes, yes, I<br >can be …” she seemed to be arguing with herself, “but suppose I just sa. “I,” all right?”<br >

Zar cast a sidelong glance at Kirk and Spock, then shrugged.<br >”Certainly.”

”I created this world …” the being said, looking around, as if<br >noticing for the first time the heaped ruins, the desolation, and the perpetual night. “My, it’s gotten rundown, hasn’t it? Where was I-we?<br >Oh, yes …

my-our-creation, all of it. Including the …” It frowned, looking<br >over at the time portal. “What do you call yourseir”

”The Guardian of Forever,” the time entity responded, its voice deep,<br >reverberating, and somehow … content.

”You built the Guardian?” Kirk asked, trying to keep the skepticism out<br >of his voice.

”Oh, yes … that is, well … it built itself, really. We just<br >defined the parameters and provided the initial . there are no words in your language … I programming comes closest, I suppose.”<br >

As the alien spoke, Zar had stepped back to stand with the others. “Are<br >you all right?” he whispered to McCoy.

”Fine,” the doctor answered, sotio voce. “We weren’t as close to it as<br >you two. The minute those crazy colors burst out, we took cover. And apparently, from what Spock just told us, that mental contact was much<br >more devastating to anyone with esper abilities than it was to us.”

”Didn’t it knock you out?”<br >

”Nope. Just shook us up a little. Jim called Scotty and asked him to<br >stand by. We were just coming to find you when you two stepped out of the ruins.”<br >

”Why did you create the Guardian?” Kirk was asking.<br >

”And when did you create it?”<br >

”When?. “Zarabeth’ looked around vaguely. “When did we? I can’t say<br >… but I can … yes, tell them … why should we bother telling them anything!” The creature frowned. “Don’t confuse me, please. You’re<br >always confused!”

Zar listened to the alien bickering with itself, and realized that it<br >had meant the “we” quite literally. They were conversing with a number of vastly different personalities.<br >

”Now, what did they want?” the creature asked, helplessly.<br >

It seemed to listen. “Oh, yes. Well, we made the-what was 0-the<br >Guardian-because this universe had just gotten so small, you know. No challenges left at all, nothing to see or do. There were a lot more of<br >us in those days …

back when there weren’t nearly so many stars and galaxies as there are<br >now, Admiral, but I’m afraid I can’t tell you when more precisely than that … it’s been too long.”<br >

The entity began to blur slightly around the edges, as though it were<br >dissolving. “So we needed something to do, somewhere new to go. First we used it to journey in Time, but we ran out of that pretty quickly,<br >because there wasn’t a whole lot of it yet … only a couple of … billion, what’s your word … ‘years’? Yes. But then we decided<br >to sample other dimensions, each of which was its own complete universe … layered and overlapping, like the pages in one of those<br >old-fashioned books you’re so fond of, Admiral.”

The alien was just a soft glob of shimmering white light, now, but<br >”Zarabeth’s‘ voice continued unchanged. Zar wondered for a moment whether he were actually hearing it with his ears at all, but there was<br >no way to judge. Whatever form of communication these creatures were using, his mind was perceiving it as speech.<br >

”And the Guardian transported you there?” Spock asked.<br >

”Yes … but we kept getting farther away. Finally we found a<br >continuum we rather liked … such lovely bridges between the stars, all of it laced together with tachyons, and so compact … and we<br >stayed there for awhile … I guess perhaps a long time? Yes, a long time. Long, long, it was long.”<br >

”And you just now returned to this universe?” Kirk gave Spock an uneasy<br >glance. Zar could sympathize with the admiral’s concern. These creatures were so powerful<br >

… but so confused. There was no way to predict what their next whim<br >might be.

”Yes, and it’s wonderful to be back,” the alien creature was saying. “We<br >wanted-It was my idea first!-Some of us who were left, that is, wanted to come home. Sentimental, yes, but isn’t that one of the traits of old<br >folks in your species, too, Admiral Kirk?”

”Uh, yes,” Kirk said, glancing at the light-glob, then quickly away<br >again, blinking. The creature was now an eye-searing violet patch. Gazing at it, Zar had the uncanny feeling that if he were to step into<br >it, he’d fall through it to … somewhere else.

”Look,” the alien voice chided itself, “you’ve let your form slip. It’s<br >painful for them to look at you. That’s very rude.” The light began drawing in on itself, coalescing. “My apologies,” it said. “It’s been<br >so long since we were here, I’m a little rusty on the physics in your-our-universe. Perhaps something larger? Yes, a bit larger might<br >be easier to maintain … that’s better.”

Suddenly, a pale yellow house stood before them.<br >

Kirk gasped, visibly paling. “That’s-that’s my home!<br >

The farmhouse in Iowa. But it burned down …” Dazedly, the admiral<br >walked forward, laid a hand on the neatly painted porch railing, shook it. “Solid-I can’t believe it!”<br >

He bounded up the steps, raced inside. Faintly, they heard his voice.<br >”Spock, Bones! It’s all here! The old piano, the rugs Winona’s great-great-grandmother wove! The dent in the stair railing from that<br >time Sam and I tacked up the carpet runner and tried to ski down the steps!”<br >

A moment later he was back outside, flushed and wideeyed. “How did you<br >do that? It’s perfect!”

”Thank you, but the credit is yours, Admiral,” Zarabeth’s voice answered<br >him. “Your mind is most detailed.”

”With all due respect,” Spock addressed the alien, “I venture to remind<br >you that we have been exposed to many different shapes and varieties of sentient life over the years.<br >

I see no reason why you cannot assume and remain in your natural form to<br >speak with us. I seriously doubt we would find it shocking or repugnant.”<br >

”That’s a good idea!” the creature said, enthusiastically, but then its<br >voice became filled with regret. “We-I -forgot. If only we could appear as ourselves again, Mr. Spock … but it’s been so long, I’m<br >afraid we’ve forgotten what our natural forms are.”

”I remember!” came a different voice, a hostile, slightly mad voice from<br >behind them, and, turning, they saw a flame-colored shadow wavering atop a fallen column. “But nobody ever listens to me, so I’m not going to<br >tell you!”

”That’s where you’ve been,” said the voice from the house. “We-l-thought<br >you had been lost during the transition.”

”No, you didn’t,” objected the flameshadow. “You just don’t want to<br >admit that you forgot me!”

”My programming would not permit that,” the Guardian of Forever<br >interjected, sounding a bit miffed. “I returned all of you safely.”

”At an - v rate,” the house-alien continued loudly, in the tone of one<br >who has been interrupted one time too many, “it’s much easier for us to borrow shapes from your minds.”<br >

”How many of you are there?” Kirk asked. “Do you have names?”<br >

”There are-eight-is that all?-of us,” the creature said. “And our names<br >for ourselves are … not translatable into verbal speech.”

”I call them the Or iginators,” rumbled the Guardian. “If I may<br >interject a comment?”

”Very well,” said the house-alien in the careless tone of one speaking<br >to a moderately valuable servant.

”Admiral Kirk,” the time portal said, “I very much regret having<br >neglected my duties in this continuum. I am functioning normally again.”<br >

”I am glad to hear that,” Kirk said.<br >

”However,” the time entity continued, “I had no choice in the matter. I<br >had to respond to my primary programming when my Originators contacted me with instructions to locate them and transport them home. Searching<br >a nearly infinite number of dimensions was not an easy task, and required almost all of my capabilities.”<br >

”I see,” Kirk said, his tone carefully neutral. Zar knew the admiral<br >was thinking about all the deaths the Guardian’s absence had caused. “Of course. But, uh, Originator, with so many possible dimensions to choose<br >from, why did you wish to return to this one?”

The house began to waver, lose solidity. The alien did not answer<br >immediately. Finally it said, “To everything there is a season, James, as it says in a book sacred to one of your human religions. It was a<br >sentimental whim for the eight of us to wish to end our existence in the same universe we began it.”<br >

The house vanished into a pillar of rainbow light. “In other words,<br >Admiral, we have come home to die.”

Chapter Twelve<br >

JAMES MRK WATCHED the farmhouse where he had spent his childhood vanish,<br >and fell fear growing inside him like something with a life of its own. His sixth sense (which he’d come to trust as fully as the conscious,<br >rational part of his mind) told him that these creatures posed a considerable danger. Calm down, Jim, he ordered himself silently.<br >

Thev’ve done nothing threatening, unless you count the backlash of their<br >arrival, but I believe them when they say that was not intentional.

But all his instincts still whispered a warning. “I see,” he said,<br >finally, to the rainbow shimmer. “Are you speaking of something imminent? You, uh … don’t seem ill to me … but …” He spread<br >his hands.

”He’s insulting us!” flameshadow said, indignantly. “Illness, indeed!<br >Speaking as if we were mere matter!”

”As we may indeed have been.” The voice emanating from the farmhouse<br >sounded stern. “Does any of you truly remember?”

Apparently none of them did, for there was silence except for the wind.<br >

”No, Admiral,” the stern, distant voice (the one Kirk was coming to<br >think of as “the rational one”) continued finally, “we are not sick, but even for creatures such as ourselves, entropy catches up eventually. We<br >are … tired. Winding down . .

”Your form’s lapsed again,” flameshadow pointed out rudely.<br >

”So it has…” The shimmer elongated, shifted, and then a man stood<br >there before the admiral, a slightly taller, broad-shouldered man with dark blond hair and hazel eyes the same shade as Kirk’s own. He was<br >grinning-that same “give ‘em hell” impish grin Jim recalled from the stairskiing attempt.<br >

”Sam …” Kirk whispered, his throat tight as he remembered those<br >even white teeth bared in the grimace of agony etched on his brother’s features the last time he’d seen them. George Samuel Kirk, Jr., had<br >died years ago on Deneva, one of the victims of an infestation of insanityproducing parasites.<br >

A moment later Kirk felt Spock’s hand grip his shoulder, steadying him.<br >”Are you all right, Jim?” The Vulcan glanced over at the Originator. ”The image you are projecting is causing him pain,” he protested.<br >

”But it is a true image,” flameshadow protested mockingly. “How can<br >the truth be harmful?”

Kirk straightened his shoulders. “It’s all right, Spock.<br >

Thanks.” He forced himself to look directly a. “Sam.” “I gather you<br >intend to make this world your final resting place?”

”Well, no, Admiral,” the creature said. It shifted, its horizontal<br >outline wavering, and then another handsome, broad-shouldered young man stood beside the image of Kirk’s brother. Gary! Kirk recognized the<br >image of his best friend from his Academy days.

Commander Gary Mitchell had met his death soon after Kirk had assumed<br >command of the Enterprise. He had been the victim of a dangerous ”god-complex” Mitchell had developed shortly after they had tried to<br >take the ship through the energy “barrier” at the edge of the galaxy. As the strange syndrome developed, Gary grew more and more powerful, even<br >as his humanity diminished; finally, he had become such a threat that his best friend had been forced to hunt him down.<br >

TIME rOR YESTERDAY<br >

Oddly, seeing Gary’s image steadied Kirk. These are alien beings, he<br >reminded himself This is not Sam, this is not Gary! No matter how perfect these images seem, this is no different than looking at a holo<br >of my brother or Gary.

Now’Mitchell’spoke with the querulous, uncertain manner they had heard<br >before from one of the Originators. “We want-at least I want-to find our planet of origin again. A beautiful place … at least, I think it<br >was …”

”You mean this isn’t your home world?” McCoy gestured at the ruins<br >around them.

”Fools! Why are we bothering with them?” snapped flameshadow.<br >

”You maundering ancient,” said a different voice from any they had yet<br >heard, a cold, contemptuous voice that made the hairs at the back of Kirk’s neck stir. Before their eyes another form coalesced. An ancient<br >Vulcan woman, with an ascetic, implacable face, and two broad streaks of white running through her black hair. TFau! Kirk identified the image<br >of the Vulcan head-of-state. “You no more remember our world of origin than I do,” she said t. “Gary.” “But we will recognize it when we find<br >it, if we must search for a millennium.”

”No, r. M oy,” came the measured, distant tones of the rational one,<br >”this is not our home world. We only created this one as a base of operations for our servant, the Guardian.”<br >

”And it’s gotten so rundown, ” complained a new voice, and suddenly a<br >slender woman was there, wearing modern clothing, with salt-and-peppcr hair and an intelligent, disdainful face. Jocelvn, Kirk identified the<br >image, even though he hadn’t seen Leonard McCoy’s ex-wife in nearly twenty years. “Of course we can’t stay here, ” she said, scornfully.<br >

McCoy had gone pale, his lips thinned, his eyes narrowed.<br >

The doctor’s divorce had not been an amicable one.<br >

”Bones,” Kirk said, in a warning undertone. “That’s not Jocelyn,<br >remember.”

McCoy nodded, slowly relaxing. “Would you really search for a thousand<br >years?” he asked the rational one.

The image of Sam Kirk smiled faintly. “If necessary.”<br >

”But you said you were dying. Doesn’t seem like it to me .”<br >

”Time,” said the rational one, “is one of the most relative things in<br >this universe, or hadn’t you realized that yet, Doctor? Death does indeed seem imminent when you compare a possible thousand years with<br >billions, wouldn’t you agree?”

”Why bother to explain to them?” snarled flameshadow.<br >

”I can’t believe how much time you are wasting talking to them!”<br >

”But … that is, perhaps … talking to them is … is … not a<br >waste,” the Gary Mitchell image stammered. “It would be easier, you know … more ethical … that is, more comfortable, if they want to<br >help … if they agree to assist us …”

”Assist you with what?” Kirk demanded.<br >

”Yes, with what?” Zarabeth said, reappearing. That’s six of the eight,<br >Kirk thought. “Are the non-sentients still here?” She turned to regard the four of them. “Oh. I thought they were gone. Or did I forget<br >again?”

”We don’t need them,” T’Pau stated. “Or, considering the physical laws<br >of this continuum …” she trailed off, uncertainly.

”Yes, we do,” said the rational one wearing Sam I S image.<br >

”Expending the energy necessary for travel would greatly shorten our<br >remaining time.”

”But the indignity!” protested Jocelyn. “Depending on non-sentients? I<br >won’t do it.”

”Perhaps the, uh …” Mitchell waved tentatively at the Guardian.<br >”You know … maybe it could

”The distances between stars have altered too much for us to provide<br >coordinates,” said the rational one.

”But travel in that orbiting vehicle?” T’Pau asked, doubtfully. “How<br >primitive. Suppose the non-sentients don’t agree to transport us?”

”Then we take it,” flameshadow said. “They can’t stop US.<br >

The Enterprise they’re talking about commandeering my shipjbr their<br >insane search for a world that may not even exist anymore! Kirk realized, feeling the cold lump of fear congeal in his stomach. “Now,<br >just a minute,” he said. “I can sympathize with your desire to reach your ancient home, and it may be that the Federation will choose to<br >assist you in your search. But my ship is on a mission-“

”You may have no choice, Admiral,” the Sam image quietly warned him. “My<br >… comrades … can be a trifle … capricious.”

I’ll bet, Kirk thought, bitterly. What the hell am I going to do?<br >

Something nudged his elbow. The admiral glanced sideways at Zar, only<br >to see him raise an eyebrow and jerk his head at the other side of the clearing, “Will you excuse us for a moment?” Kirk said.<br >

”We … uh, we need to discuss the best way of handling your request.”<br >

”Why are we bothering with them at all?” flameshadow whirled on Sam.<br >”Let’s go!”

Kirk felt something brush the edges of his mind. Whatever it was, it<br >made flameshadow shrink into itself, silent.

”Certainly, Admiral,” the rational one said. “By all means.”<br >

When they reached the other side of the clearing, Zar sat down., rubbing<br >his left thigh with a grimace. “We’ve got to talk,” he said.

”But they’ll ‘hear’ us,” McCoy said, tapping the side of his head. He<br >sank down beside the younger man with a sigh.

”That cannot be helped,” Zar said. “Besides, I doubt they will bother<br >listening in. They’re very sure of themselves.”

”Yes, they are,” Kirk agreed, grimly. “What’s up?”<br >

”I’ve been picking up the mental and emotional emanations from the two<br >nonphysical Originators-the ones we haven’t yet seen.” Zar’s voice was a strained whisper. “If several of the ones we’ve been speaking with<br >appear irrational or senile, by humanoid standards, then these two are completely deranged. They’re mad, viciously so, and far more dangerous<br >than the other six put together. They can’t be allowed to stay here.”

”Well, what do you suggest we do, Zar?” McCoy asked sarcastically.<br >”Politely ask the entire lot to leave this continuum? Damn it, they could erase us all with a single impulse!<br >

Those things can generate matter and wipe it out as easily as I could<br >trigger a phaser!”

”Zar’s right,” Kirk said. “I’m certainly not going to tamely hand the<br >Enterprise over to them so they can warp off through an unsuspecting galaxy!”<br >

”Maybe we can convince I em that the world they’re looking for is<br >Klinzhai and dump them off there,” McCoy suggested, cynically. “Give the Klingons something to worry about besides making trouble for us.”<br >

Kirk ignored the doctor. “We can’t threaten, bribe, or coerce them,” he<br >said, slowly. “Could we influence them?

Appeal to their better natures?”<br >

”What makes you think they have any?” McCoy growled.<br >

”Because if they didn’t, they wouldn’t have bothered to speak to us at<br >all. They’d have just forced us to do as they wished.”

”Well-reasoned, Jim,” Spock said. “It is clear that some of them, at<br >least, wish us to help them willingly. They do not want to mentally compel us.”<br >

”I agree,” Zar said. “By the way, it would help in discussing them if I<br >knew whose images they’ve assumed.”

Kirk briefly identified the four Originators.<br >

”Sam is the most rational of them, and seems to have considerable<br >influence over the others,” Spock pointed out.

”Gary, also,” Zar said.<br >

”You should begin your appeal with those two, Jim,” Spock said.<br >

”So I’m elected to do the talking?” Kirk smiled humorlessly. “I don’t<br >recall volunteering.”

”R.H.I.P.,” McCoy pointed out. “Besides, you’re the best Starfleet’s<br >got at this kind of thing.”

”All right.” Kirk got to his feet and shivered, pulling his cloak around<br >him. “I only hope my best is good enough, this time.”

As they walked back toward the waiting Originators, a rock shifted under<br >Zar’s boot, throwing his weight onto his bad leg. He grunted with the pain, then cursed under his breath. McCoy caught his arm as he<br >staggered. “You okay?”

”That meld took a lot out of me,” the Sovren admitted.<br >

”And even the peripheral contact with those two Originators …” He<br >shuddered at the memory.

”You look terrible.”<br >

”I don’t doubt it. I’ve ridden home from a day on the battlefield in<br >better shape than I am now.”

As Kirk, Spock, and McCoy moved to stand shoulder to shoulder before the<br >rational one, Zar limped around to the side, stopping next to the time portal. He felt drained, both physically and mentally. He was near<br >exhaustion, and his leg ached savagely.

Feels as though I’ve been awake.for two days … notfive or six hours,<br >he thought. He remembered waking that morning, to find Wynn lying beside him, watching him as he slept. Will I ever see her again?<br >

If only I could get back, he thought wearily, and make it through alive,<br >things would be different. Damn it, I want to live, now. Talk about irony …<br >

To take some of the strain off his leg, he dared to lean his shoulder<br >against the time portal.

”Have you decided whether you will help us, Admiral?”<br >

the Sam Kirk image said, finally.<br >

Kirk’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t think you realize what you’re asking,”<br >he said, evenly. “Or that you comprehend the ramifications of your return.”<br >

Sam’s image frowned uncertainly. “Ramifications?”<br >

”The effects of your return on this universe. More than a thousand<br >beings have already died because the Guardian was searching for you. Your people are so powerful, and so easily angered, that they pose a<br >grave threat to this continuum. If you take my ship and begin searching for your home planet, things will only get worse. More will die. Is<br >that what you want?”

”A thousand are dead?” The rational one was obviously disturbed.<br >”Because of us? How can that be?”

”Four hundred and thirty beings on the Constellation, swallowed forever<br >by a black hole. Four hundred and thirty more on the El Nath, vanished to dust in far less than the blink of an eye. A hundred and eighty-four<br >people-and an entire world of plant and wildlife-on a planet called Kent, incinerated, vaporized, when their sun became a red giant.<br >

Twelve scientists who used to live right over there”-Kirk spun on his<br >heel and pointed—are no more, because you forced the Guardian to concentrate its energies on you, instead of on its responsibilities to<br >this universe.”

Sam and Gary glanced quickly at each other, obviously taken aback. “We<br >… did not know that our summons …

would produce such havoc,” Mitchell’s image stammered.<br >

”Oh, I’m not finished, yet,” Kirk said, inexorably. “What about the<br >people of Kent? You say you want to find your home? What about 1heir homes? Obliterated! They’ll spend the next months or years crowded<br >into refugee camps -damn it, they’ve lost everything they had in the world, plus the world itself’ The morning we left on this mission, there<br >had already been over forty suicides among the survivors.”

”There’s another death to add to your total, Jim,” McCoy put in. “Did<br >you hear that woman screaming that night we spent aboard Cochise? She was pregnant, but stayed on the job during the evacuation-went into<br >early labor, and delivered a stillborn boy, right in the corridor, because the infirmary was overflowing with patients in even worse<br >shape-strokes, catatonia, coronaries, and such. The medical staff did all they could, but …” The doctor shrugged.<br >

”Add that baby’s death to your total, Originators.”<br >

Zar, picturing the scene, swallowed.<br >

”There is also,” Spock said, “D’berahan to consider. She risked her<br >life to contact the Guardian, and now she lies in a coma, with three newborn infants. She may well die, and her children with her.”<br >

Zar felt the Guardian of Forever’s reaction to Kirk’s, Spock’s, and<br >McCoy’s words through the physical contact between them. Sorrow flowed through the stone, and a question formed in his mind Is all this true?<br >

Yes, he answered, sadly.<br >

I am sorry. The time portal’s regret was profound and genuine. I never<br >wished harm to anyone.

Zar projected understanding. You had no choice but to obey them when<br >they summoned you. We know that vou could not supersede your programming.<br >

The image of Sam Kirk considered silently for several minutes before it<br >spoke again. “We did not return to cause death. And we are sorry. But what has happened, has happened. Why do you say that our continued<br >presence will be harmful?”

”Because of your power,” Kirk said, his hazel eyes never leaving the<br >ones so like his own. “There is a saying among my people that ‘absolute power corrupts absolutely.” You two, who wear the bodies of two men who<br >were honest and decent-tell me the truth. Can you control the others so well that their whims will not cause tragedy before you can stop them?<br >Be honest-can you?”

”Why are you listening to this one?” flameshadow spat.<br >

”We are beyond his dim level of understanding! You cannot allow a<br >non-sentient creature to dictate to you!”

The image of Kirk’s brother swung to regard the others.<br >

”Just because they cannot match our mentality, does not mean thcy-and<br >others like them-have no right to live out their brief lives in such peace as their squabbling allows them to enjoy.”<br >

”Rights?” T’Pau’s image was openly scornful. “They may well owe us<br >their very lives! Didn’t we seed thousands of those barren, steaming worlds with life-generating molecules? Don’t they owe us help now?”<br >

Zarabeth roused herself for a moment. “I think I remember doing that,<br >long ago,” she said. “it was like a game, watching to see what life-forms might evolve , . .”<br >

”What are you saying?” Jocelyn was horrified. “That we may be<br >responsible for them? What an odious thought!” She glared at McCoy. ”They aren’t even civilized. You should hear what this one said to his<br >wife the last time they encountered one another!”

”Why, you-” The doctor started forward, blood in his eye, but halted<br >with a jerk when Spock grabbed his arm.

”Doctor-“<br >

”Bones McCoy subsided, rubbing his arm and casting a resentful glance at<br >the Vulcan. “Okay, okay … but if you Originators think we’re so uncivilized, you ought to try listening to yourselves for a while. You<br >sound like a pack of five-yearolds.”

”We don’t have to stand for this,” flameshadow hissed.<br >

”Let’s abandon these four here and re-form aboard their ship. We don’t<br >need the crew to run the vessel.”

”So what would you do with them?” Sam Kirk asked, heavily. “Toss the<br >crew outside to perish? Leave these four on this decaying worldlet without sustenance? Add another 435 lives to our grim total? I am<br >beginning to believe that the admiral is right. We would endanger this continuum and the beings inhabiting it.”<br >

”No! You cannot say that!” Jocelyn’s image began to blur with her rage.<br >”Think of how long we have waited to come back!”

”Admiral Kirk is lying about those ‘thousands of deaths,” flameshadow<br >said.

”No, he is not,” Gary said, suddenly. “I have touched his mind, and he<br >speaks the truth. He is right. Our presence has proved harmful.”

”At any rate,” T’Pau said, “any casualties were not our fault. Our<br >servant is responsible.”

Zar experienced the ripple of sadness that passed through the Guardian<br >at the Originator’s words. You didnt know, he comforted the time-entity . All of us have unknowingly done things that we have later<br >regretted …

”And it is now clear to me that our presence may continue to harm this<br >continuum,” the rational one said, regretfully. “James Kirk speaks the truth. Search his mind for yourselves,” the alien entity invited the<br >others. “You will see that I am right.”

”Yes,” agreed Gary, speaking in its new tone of certainty, “you know<br >that his mind cannot hide the truth from us.

Search it, and see. Search all of them, as I did, and you will find the<br >same thing.”

All the Originators were silent, then, for several minutes.<br >

Zar felt several minds brush his, sensed unspoken communication passing<br >between the aliens, but it was not on a mental level that he could tap. He received an impression of bitter conflict.<br >

At last the rational one turned to regard Kirk. “We are attempting to<br >convince our comrades to depart.”

”Never!” Jocelyn stamped a foot. “I want to go home!”<br >

”If we go home, we will destroy the inhabitants of this universe,” Gary<br >said. “Is that what you want? They are, in a way, our children.”

”I am beginning to think we should leave, also,” T’Pau said, haughtily.<br >”if only to put an end to this tedious bickering.”

”Why are we still here?” Zarabeth asked, vaguely. “if we aren’t wanted,<br >let’s go somewhere else. This place is so dull … so drab . .

”How can you side with these … vermin?” flameshadow raged. It began<br >to swell threateningly toward the humans, but Gary quickly stepped between them. Mitchell’s shape began to waver, lose form, and then<br >there were two insubstantial shapes, flickering at each other.

Suddenly, as Zar watched, all of the Originators winked out. The air<br >was again filled with a mixed barrage of color, sound, taste, and feeling-hastily, he squeezed his eyes shut.<br >

Moments later, he opened them again, to see three of the amorphous<br >shadows-Garv, Sam, and which of the others? -surrounding, enclosing, the remaining Originators. Then the shapes coalesced, merging into one<br >entity.

The single alien form pulsed wildly, and the Sovren caught the fringes<br >of the mental communication passing between the rational one and the Guardian, and an impression of the time-entity’s search to obey the<br >Originator’s command. The portal came to life, glowing blue-white.

As he watched, the central portion filled with an image -Zar turned away<br >after a single, stomach-wrenching glance. It was not that the new universe the Guardian displayed was in any way ugly-it was just that its<br >shapes, colors, and angles were so mind-blastingly alien to everything he’d learned to accept as normal and sane …<br >

Even the physical laws of that universe, he thought, would be different.<br >Zar tried to picture a continuum where dropped objects never fell, parallel lines quickly crossed, and the inhabitants could perceive and<br >build in four dimensions. He shook his head with a grimace. It’s hard enough managing in this universe.<br >

”We leave you to your own destiny,” the voice of the rational one echoed<br >in his mind. “Farewell, children.”

Then, with a final whirl of swirling, prismatic color, the Originators<br >dissolved and flowed through the Guardian’s opening like fractured rainbows.<br >

Kirk stood staring after them as the Guardian’s central opening<br >flickered back into its normal view of fallen columns and tumbled buildings. “They’re gone,” he said, as if trying to convince himself.<br >”Damn … that was a close one.” He fumbled at his belt-pouch and withdrew his communicator. “Kirk to Enterprise.<br >

”Enterprise … Uhura here.”<br >

The admiral grinned affectionately at the little instrument. “Commander,<br >have I ever told you what a lovely voice you have?”

”Sir?” The soft contralto sounded understandably confused. “Uh, no,<br >sir.”

”Well, you do. There were times during this past hour when I seriously<br >doubted that I’d ever hear it again.”

”Are you all right, Admiral?”<br >

”We’re fine, Uhura. Four to beam-“<br >

”No, Jim!” Zar cried suddenly. “Don’t. ” He glanced quickly around<br >him, trying to see what he had dimly sensed a moment before. Maybe I am crazy-was it really there?<br >

”Huh?” Kirk hesitated, then “Stand by, Commander.”<br >

He shut the communicator. -Zar, what the hell is it?”<br >

”I don’tZar frowned. “Just a moment-” He closed his eyes, sending his<br >awareness spinning out, searching-and felt again that brush of non-rationality, of skewed, warped thinking … of intense, psychotic<br >paranoia.

Zar swore a barracks oath in Danrei, and saw Spock raise an eyebrow as<br >his universal translator rendered the obscenity. “They’re not all gone,” he told the others. “I felt them, just now. Two of them stayed<br >behind. I don’t think I have to tell you which two.”

Kirk glanced around, uneasily. “Are you sure?”<br >

”Yes.”<br >

”From the frying pan to the fire,” McCoy, shivering, whispered. “What<br >the hell are we going to do?”

”Ask them to appear, and find out what they want,” Spock replied. He<br >raised his voice. “Originators, we sense your presence. Please materialize, so we may speak with you. What do you want?”<br >

Silence.<br >

Kirk cleared his throat. -Zar … are you sure?”<br >

The Sovren nodded. “I don’t feel anything now, but a minute ago, I am<br >positive I did. Do you think they’re still here? Or could they already be aboard the ship?”<br >

The admiral’s mouth tightened. “And in what form?<br >

Standard procedure dictates I should order red alert, but what good<br >would it do?”

A shape swirled and materialized in front of Kirk. “Absolutely none,<br >Admiral.”

As he surveyed the new arrival, James Kirk made an inarticulate sound of<br >pain and closed his eyes. This Ofiginator had appeared as a young woman with black hair, dark, vital eyes, high cheekbones-no classical beauty,<br >but possessed of a vibrant, discerning loveliness. Zar heard the unspoken word “Mom!” echo in the admiral’s mind, and realized the alien<br >had taken the form of Winona Kirk.

Even as he watched, the image altered, shrinking into that of a<br >withered, sad shadow of the same woman. She stretched out a blue-veined claw toward Kirk, and spoke in a halting whisper. “Please, Jim … let<br >me go home, son.

Take me home..<br >

Kirk paled.<br >

”Stop it!” Spock stepped protectively between the alien and his<br >commanding officer, his dark eyes flashing with anger. “I insist that you assume another form. This is cruel.<br >

Why should you wish to cause pain? He has done you no harm.”<br >

”Oh, but he has,” the alien said, its image altering into that of the<br >young Winona Kirk again. “He drove our people away with his lies. He refused to help us reach our home, just as he refused his own mother.”<br >

The image crumpled inward, until the aged woman stood there. “Jim?<br >You’ll take me home today, won’t you?” The alien laughed suddenly, horribly. “You know, Admiral, if you’d had the house rebuilt, and taken<br >her home, she’d still be alive today …”

”Shut up!” Leonard McCoy surged forward. “This is monstrous!”<br >

Kirk took a deep, shaky breath. “Easy, Bones. Thanks.<br >

But I’m … all right. I did everything I could for my mother, and,<br >wherever she is now, she understands that.

This … thing … doesn’t know anything about it.” He looked straight<br >at the image of his mother. “Why are you trying to hurt us?”

”Because …” The alien shrugged. “Why not?”<br >

”Tell us what we can do to help you,” Kirk said. “Do you want us to try<br >and find the planet you originally came from?”

”I don’t know …” Winona’s image said indifferently.<br >

”Perhaps … or, perhaps not.” The creature paused, and the malicious,<br >mocking tone crept back into its voice. “You caused her death, you know.”<br >

”No, I did not,” Kirk said, his voice filled with conviction, though<br >still harsh with pain.

”Leave him alone!” Zar demanded. “He offered to help you-what more do<br >you want?”

Slowly, the image of Winona Kirk turned to look at him, and Zar flinched<br >from the soulless depths reflected in its eyes.

”Perhaps we shouldn’t talk to the brave admiral, but to you … you<br >can’t argue about whom you’ve killed, can you, Sovren?”

The air in front of Zar swirled, and suddenly Araen stood there before<br >him.

It’s only the second Originator-just an image, just an i .mage-not real!<br >he told himself, biting his lip against the pain of seeing her there, so much the way he remembered her. The brunette, wavy hair ruffled by the<br >wind, her eyes, lovely, dark, a little wistful … she wore only a pale blue shift that left her slender arms bare to the shoulder. Beneath it<br >he could see the tiny points of her breasts …

”Stop it,” he said, stonily. “I know you’re not real.”<br >

”Would you like to see the reality?” the alien asked. “Do you want to<br >see her as she was the moment ‘ vou killed her?

Swollen and agonized and bloody … gasping because she had no strength<br >left to scream?”

Zar shook his head, closing his eyes. “No!”<br >

The being’s mind brushed him then, and the picture it described formed<br >behind his closed eyelids. He flinched away from it, instinctively tightening his mental shield against any deeper contact with the<br >Originator. These creatures were decayed and demented beyond the ability of anyone or anything to reason with them. The irrationality of<br >the alien’s mind shocked and sickened him, as though he had plunged a hand into something Totting and putrid.<br >

The wave of vertigo came again, gagging him, and he had to clench his<br >teeth to keep from vomiting. Theyre going to kill us, he realized, suddenly comprehending what was happening to him. This is the way I<br >feel when people I care about are in danger of moving. Spock, Jim . . Leonard …<br >

there’s no wa ‘ v they’ll let an - v of us go. They It take the<br >Enterprise and do as the ‘ y please …

He glanced over at the others, saw that they had reached the same<br >conclusion. If oniv we couldfighi ihem!

But how could you fight an opponent that had no more physical reality<br >than a soap bubble-that could exist as matter or energy, as it chose?

”Let’s talk about this,” Kirk suggested, keeping his voice soothing,<br >conciliatory.

”There is nothing to talk about,” the Originator’s voices echoed, though<br >neither Winona’s nor Araen’s lips moved.

”You have all betrayed us.”<br >

”Why do you say that?” McCoy said.<br >

”We say it because it is true. You envy our powers, you have tried to<br >thwart us. But all of that will be over soon. We have been patient long enough.”<br >

Zar shuddered, struggling against the nausea and the growing pain in his<br >head. His vision was blurring, and he had to fight to remain conscious. Dizzily, he braced one hand against the Guardian’s stone bulk, knowing<br >that the end could not be far off because his sickness was so intense.

Fear warred with the nausea, and he began shuddering.<br >

Fear.<br >

As he looked out across the desolate waste that was Gateway, Zar had a<br >sudden memory of crouching beside Spock while they watched two Romulan guards pace slowly back and forth. He had empathically projected his<br >own fear of death at the pair, with such force that it had killed both soldiers. The effort had nearly killed him, too …<br >

Would it work with these aliens? he wondered, glancing at the silent,<br >motionless forms of the Originators. Theyre already crazy with paranoia-projectingfear at them might be enough to drive them into the<br >equivalent of catatonia, or even death …

But he also knew that the backlash from the aliens’ fear would almost<br >certainly kill him-and Spock, Kirk, and McCoy, too.

The bodies of the Originators began to glow.<br >

This is it, Zar knew, instinctively. What should I do? Have to decide.<br >. .

He wished that he had time to consult Kirk and the others, but there was<br >no more time. If I can stop them, I must. I can’t let them kill everyone aboard the Enterpriseand who knows where else.<br >

Silently, Zar apologized to the others, then he started breathing<br >faster, deliberately triggering the fight-or-flight reflex in his body. Seconds later, the blood was rushing through his veins and he was<br >shaking, no longer from sickness, but from adrenaline rush.

The Originators began to lose their human shapes, as they shone brighter<br >and brighter-pulsing red, pulsing yellow, pulsing blue-white …

Zar shut his eyes, summoning images of death.<br >

Don’t, said a voice in his mind. I will kelp you against them.<br >

Startled, Zar focused his attention on the stone beneath his hand. Even<br >through the growing heat from the nowformless aliens, he felt its warmth. Guardian? he thought, incredulously.<br >

Yes, the time-entity replied. They are my creators, but I cannot allow<br >them to become aforce of wanton destruction in the universe I have protected for so long. Lend me all your mental strength-this will not<br >be easy.

You have it, Zar replied, soundlessly. Aloud he yelled, “Spock!” as he<br >reached out toward his father.

By now the two aliens had merged into one livid mass of light and<br >heat-it was like standing near the raw heart of a nova.

He’ll never make it, Zar thought desperately, as he gathered his energy,<br >preparing to mind-link with the time portal.

Nobody could get past that inferno now. nobody couldA hand clamped onto<br >his own, held hard.

Father and son had become one consciousness even as the Originators<br >began to expand, reaching out to obliterate them. In another heartbeat, Zar launched his mind into a link with the time portal, and began<br >channeling all of their combined mental energy into the ancient entity.

They were one with the Guardian as it gathered their combined power to<br >create a physical and mental vortex that lashed out from the time portal’s central opening, catching the two aliens off-guard. For a<br >moment both were drawn helplessly toward that churning void-then they began to resist.<br >

As the Originators fought back, the Guardian used more and more power,<br >widening the path of the maelstrom it had created. Zar found himself ”pulling” mentally, using all his and Spock’s united strength; it was as<br >though the two of them were mentally digging their heels into the ground and trying by main force to haul a mountain toward them.<br >

There was room for neither thought nor fear-only for the effort they<br >were expending. Everything was channeled into the struggle to drag the aliens into the heart of the vortex.<br >

Zar was dimly aware through the mind-link of the sheer magnitude and<br >power of the Guardian-and the ancient time portal was using every scrap of that power.<br >

But it was not … going … to … be … enough …<br >

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