FOURTEEN
Josse reached Hawkenlye
Abbey around the middle of the day. Meggie had come with him as far
as the hut. Not seeming to mind repeating the journey she had
earlier done with Little Helewise, she had asked if he’d like
company and he had said yes.
He guessed his daughter would stay in the hut for a
while. She had wanted to go off with Ninian so very much. She had
not said so, but he knew her well enough to read the yearning in
her eyes as they parted from him. He wondered what he would have
done had she simply fetched her horse and ridden after him. He was
very glad he had not been put to that particular test.
At the abbey, he went into the infirmary to find a
crowd of men around the recess where the king lay. Sister Liese
came to greet him.
‘He is impatient to be gone,’ she said softly, with
a subtle jerk of her head in the direction of the king’s recess.
‘He demands incessantly for transport, for even he admits he is not
fit to ride, and those who attend him here are torn between obeying
their lord and listening to we who have the care of him, who insist
he is not yet ready to leave us.’
‘The wound is severe, then?’ Josse asked
anxiously.
‘No, it is quite shallow and it heals well,’ the
infirmarer replied. ‘However, we fear the dreaded infection, which
can make a man’s blood burn like fire in the space of a day. He is
more at risk if he sets out on a journey.’
Josse nodded. ‘How long before he can go?’
Sister Liese considered. ‘Perhaps tomorrow, all
being well.’
‘Thank you.’ He stared at the curtains around the
king’s bed.
‘He already has five men with him,’ the infirmarer
said. ‘If you wished to speak to him you would have an audience, I
fear.’
Josse made a grimace. He wanted to discuss the very
delicate matter of Ninian’s innocence, and that was not a
conversation to have when a handful of the king’s sycophants were
listening avidly. ‘May I see Olivier de Brionne?’
‘You may,’ she said. ‘He is awake, although much
disturbed.’ She gave Josse a sweet smile, lightening her serious
face. ‘Perhaps you will do him good, Sir Josse. You usually appear
to do that when you come visiting in here.’
Glowing from the unexpected compliment, Josse
crossed the long ward towards the recess where Olivier lay. He
heard voices as he approached, which, when he parted the curtains
to look inside, resolved into a single voice. Olivier, his face
screwed up with tension, was muttering agitatedly to himself.
He looked up and, in the first instant before he
recognized Josse, there was abject terror in his eyes.
Josse walked up to the bed and said swiftly, ‘It’s
me, Josse d’Acquin. I came to see you before, remember?’ He smiled,
opening his arms in a vaguely benevolent gesture, hoping to
reassure the young man.
Olivier’s lips were moving, but Josse could not
hear what he was saying. ‘What’s the matter?’ he asked kindly.
‘Will you let me help you?’
A fleeting smile crossed Olivier’s face. ‘Are you
strong?’ he asked. ‘Can you combat devils?’
Devils. What in God’s name was wrong with
him? Josse sat down on the end of the bed. ‘I have fought many an
enemy,’ he said, ‘although I must confess that they have all been
resolutely human.’ He grinned, and there was a faint response from
Olivier. ‘What ails you?’ he asked.
Olivier twisted away from him, his face anguished.
‘They will not leave me alone,’ he muttered. ‘They talk to me all
the time, giving me orders, telling me I have made bad mistakes.’
He shot Josse a sly look. ‘They warn me, too. They tell me I must
be on my guard, for my enemies surround me and all the time they
close in on me.’ He shot out a hand and grasped Josse’s wrist, his
fingers digging in painfully. ‘Are you my enemy?’ he hissed. ‘The
voices are unclear . . .’ Violently, he shook his
head.
Josse wanted very much to pull away. Olivier seemed
to have lost his reason, and Josse felt the deep, atavistic fear of
insanity flood his mind. Trying to keep his voice calm and
friendly, he said, ‘I am not here to harm you, Olivier. I merely
wish to ask you if there is anything you can tell me about your –
er, your journey with the girl, Rosamund. You have been told of the
tragic death of your brother, Hugh, and I am attempting to discover
how he died.’ He thought quickly. Was there any harm in being more
forthcoming with this poor young man? He did not think so. Leaning
closer, he lowered his voice and said, ‘You see, Olivier, someone
very close to me is suspected of having fought your brother and
caused his death, and I do not believe he is responsible.’
Olivier was watching him, the blue eyes wide. The
resemblance to Ninian was quite marked, although this young man was
more heavily built. He withdrew his hand, slipping it beneath the
covers. He muttered something inaudible. ‘What did you say?’ Josse
asked.
More muttering. Then Olivier said, ‘They tell me I
must not talk to you. They tell me that you will twist my words and
use them against me. That madman did it – they say he killed Hugh,
and they are right! I saw how he attacked my lord the king and me –
he is as wild as they say! Leave me alone! I will speak no more to
you.’ He clamped his lips closed and turned away.
‘Olivier, you do not help yourself by this
silence,’ Josse said. ‘I give you my word that I will not do what
you suggest. I merely ask you to help me.’
There was no answer. After a moment, Olivier
reached down for the bed covers and drew them right up over his
head.
Josse stood up and quietly left the recess.
He tried to see the king, but two large men
stepped in front of him and barred his way. ‘Tell him that Josse
was here,’ he snapped angrily. ‘Tell him I do not believe his
so-called madman is guilty of any crime, and that I am setting out
to prove it.’ Then he spun round and strode away.
Left alone, Olivier emerged from under the covers
and peered out. He had been very afraid when the big man had sat
down on his bed. The big man looked kindly and said he wanted to
help, and Olivier had wanted so much to believe him. Could he call
him back? Everything had gone wrong, and Olivier very much needed
to talk to someone. The big man said he had fought many enemies. He
would be a good person to have on your side. Olivier took a deep
breath, about to call out.
With the speed of diving hawks, the voices joined
together and shouted him down with such deafening volume that his
head rang. He whimpered in pain. ‘All right!’ he whispered. ‘All
right!’
He lay back against the pillows. The voices were
still nagging at him, although they were quieter now. They told him
he was a fool, and they were right, because he had forgotten
something very important. Something he had found out because he was
skilful and cunning, adept at creeping around and listening to
other people talking, so that he usually knew a great deal more
than people thought he did.
They had all thought he was unconscious but he
hadn’t been, or at least not for long. They had discussed what had
happened up by the chapel. They had called the madman by name or,
at least, somebody must have done, for Olivier knew his identity.
He had listened some more and, even before the big man had told
him, he had discovered that the madman was somehow related to him.
Not his son, but there was a bond of love between them, that was
for sure. The big man would protect the young man. He had just said
as much: someone very close to me is suspected of having fought
your brother and caused his death, and I do not believe he is
responsible. Oh, it was all very confusing, and Olivier found
it hard to think about it. His head hurt.
The voices saw their chance and started on at him
again. They don’t like you. They will try to harm you. You have
to do something. They told him what that something was.
He wondered if he could do it. Carefully, he
inspected his wounds. The long cut on his left forearm and down
across his wrist hurt quite a lot if he used the arm, but he was
right-handed, and he could rest it. The nuns had bandaged it
heavily, so it was well protected. The wound under his right arm
ached constantly, and if he coughed or sneezed, a red-hot pain shot
through it. He would have to be very careful.
He did not want to obey the voices. He wanted to
lie there in the bed with the nice clean sheets, having the young
nun with the pretty face bringing him dainty little meals and the
older one who looked calm and dependable coming to check on him
twice a day. He felt safe in the infirmary and, for the first time
in as long as he could remember, people seemed to like him and
spoke to him with a smile. But the voices said he couldn’t stay. He
thought the voices were probably right; they usually were. And even
he could see that his lord would not be staying there much
longer.
He was clad in his shift, which the nuns had
laundered to get the blood out and then given back to him. He
wondered where his outer clothes were, and then he remembered. Of
course – the nuns had put them under the bed. Cautiously, he eased
over and peered into the dim space. There were his boots, and there
was his tunic and cloak.
You have no excuse, the voices said
coldly.
He was all alone. He had nobody to turn to.
Everything had gone wrong.
He knew he must do as they said.
Josse stood outside the infirmary, undecided as to
what he should do next. He wanted above all to talk to Helewise and
discuss with her this fresh evidence of Olivier’s strange state of
mind. In the past, his footsteps would have set off for the
abbess’s little room without his volition. It was not that he had
no faith in her successor – far from it. Josse had the utmost
admiration for Abbess Caliste, but just now only Helewise would
do.
But Helewise was not there. In addition, Gervase,
no doubt busy organizing his search parties out looking for Ninian,
was also unavailable. Josse was on his own.
His thoughts returned to Olivier. The young man’s
father had known his son was not right. There’s something wrong
with the other one, old Felix had said. Lady Béatrice, too, had
spoken of her sons. They are not close, she said. And, when
Gervase had asked if Hugh might have gone to the place where his
body had been found because he was looking for Olivier, she said
she doubted it.
They are not close. Josse thought it over. Yet,
when Hugh de Brionne had hatched his plan to abduct Rosamund, his
choice of conspirator had been his brother. Had they deliberately
maintained the semblance of distance between them, so as to set a
smokescreen around their actions? Or was it simply that their
mother did not know them as well as she thought she did?
The last time Josse had been to the de
Brionne manor had been the day after the discovery of Hugh’s body.
The household had had a little while to get over the first shock;
Josse decided it was time he went back.
He drove Alfred hard, riding into Felix de
Brionne’s courtyard in the early afternoon. He was ushered into the
hall where, as before, Lady Béatrice sat alone.
‘I have come from Hawkenlye Abbey,’ he said when he
had greeted her and accepted her offer of refreshments.
She studied him, her face unmoving. ‘And how is my
son? Word was sent,’ she added, ‘that he has been wounded. I would
very much like to go to him, but my husband lies abed and I cannot
leave him.’
‘Of course, my lady,’ Josse said. He pitied her,
that she had had to make such a decision. ‘Olivier’s wound is not
life-threatening and, indeed, I have just come from speaking to
him.’
Now she looked wary. ‘Speaking to him?’
He wondered what thoughts were running through her
head. Disturbing ones, from her expression. ‘My lady, he is deeply
troubled,’ he said. ‘It may be that his mind has been affected by
his injury. Such things do happen.’
‘Troubled? In what way?’ she asked cagily.
‘He hears voices and he talks back to them,’ Josse
said bluntly. ‘I am sorry if my words alarm you, lady. I know no
other way of expressing what I have seen.’
She had bowed her head. ‘Olivier is not like
others,’ she murmured. ‘He – life has been hard for him. I told you
before of the rivalry between him and Hugh. What I did not say is
that my husband never made a secret of his preference for
Hugh.’
Josse waited. He understood – or believed he did –
Felix’s reason. Leofgar had reluctantly mentioned the rumours
concerning Olivier’s parentage. Felix himself had referred to
having forgiven his young wife. The world was cruel in many ways,
he reflected, but it was particularly bitter that a man should be
disliked for who had or had not fathered him. It was scarcely his
own fault . . .
He wondered if Lady Béatrice would confide in him.
He hoped she would. He thought he had already guessed her secret,
but he did not know for certain if he was right. Perhaps, if he
opened his heart to her, she might reciprocate. ‘My lady, I too
have troubles,’ he said. ‘A young man whom I love as much as the
son of my blood is accused of something that I know he did not do,
and I am trying to find out the truth of the matter. I have—’
‘This young man is your wife’s but not yours?’ she
interrupted.
Josse realized that he had inadvertently provided
the perfect prompt. ‘He was born to the mother of my other two
children, but at a time before I knew her,’ he said. Joanna flowed
easily into his mind, momentarily taking all his attention. She was
smiling, her dark eyes full of laughter and love. He caught his
breath. Then, forcing himself to continue, he said, ‘She was taken
to a court Christmas by a cousin and she was seduced by one of the
lords there.’ There was no need to name Ninian’s father. ‘They
married her off to an old man she hated, and in time her son was
born. He and I met when he was a child and a deep affection sprang
up between us. Later, after his mother died, I adopted him.’
She studied him for some time. Then she said
abruptly, ‘Your son is more fortunate than Olivier.’ He thought she
would say no more, but she took a deep breath and, the words
tumbling out as if she had longed to release them, she said, ‘The
first child that I bore my husband was a daughter. He was
displeased and chose to punish me by – never mind. I was unhappy
and, when temptation came, I readily surrendered.’ Her dark eyes
were misty. ‘For a time I was ecstatically happy, for my lover was
a wealthy and important man and, until he tired of me, there was
nothing that he would not give me. When I told him I was carrying
his child, he gave a wry laugh, totted up in his head the new total
of his bastards and told me that he did not bed pregnant women.’
She paused. ‘I never saw him again,’ she said quietly.
Josse ached for her. ‘Your husband forgave you.’ It
was a statement, not a question, for Felix had implied as much when
Josse went to see him.
‘He did. He was also good enough to allow me to
raise my son as his. Olivier was provided with a home, and he was
brought up in much the same way as my other children. Quite soon I
conceived again, this time in my own marital bed, and I gave birth
to Hugh.’ Her eyes returned to Josse. ‘I do not expect you to
understand or condone my actions, Sir Josse.’
‘It is not for me to criticize or condone, lady,’
he said quickly. ‘I am not here to judge you. None of my children,
natural or adopted, was born in wedlock,’ he added with a
smile.
‘I would judge that your own children were born in
love,’ she replied.
‘Aye, that they were,’ he agreed. Again, he could
see Joanna. He smiled at her, and she blew him a kiss.
Lady Béatrice was watching him. ‘I have come to the
conclusion that knowing he or she is loved matters more to a child
than anything else,’ she said slowly. ‘I love Olivier and always
have done, even when—’ She stopped. Then: ‘But he has always sought
the love of the parent who withholds it. When he was little and did
not understand, he suffered greatly from Felix’s coldness. By the
time he was old enough to know the truth, it was too late.’ She
sighed. ‘Sir Josse, Olivier seeks constantly for approval. Never
having been given any by Felix, he seeks it elsewhere. Now that he
has managed to gain advancement and grow close to the king’s
private circle, it is his one aim to make himself indispensable and
gain the position with the king that he has never enjoyed with
Felix.’
Josse tried to imagine one of his own sons
suffering in the way Olivier had done. He compared the two of them,
seeing straight away that Lady Béatrice was speaking good sense.
Geoffroi, who had known since he first became aware that his father
loved him and was always there to support and protect him, was
typical of a child brought up in a secure, warm household. He was
confident, independent, outgoing and transparent. Ninian, on the
other hand, had been forced to live the early years of his life
with a cold and vicious man who had mistreated both his young wife
and her son. Then, after Joanna had run away and taken Ninian with
her, the boy had only just got used to life alone with his mother
when she, too, had disappeared from his life. He was, Josse had to
admit, a young man who believed he must prove his worth in order to
be loved.
Olivier de Brionne, his mother seemed to be
implying, was, in this crucial way, remarkably similar.
Josse wondered why he should feel quite so
frightened by that realization.