Chapter 25
22 March 2008
The fourth step would be difficult this time. In
his previous attempts to dry out Arnar had found this stage on his
road to recovery fairly easy. But now things were different. ‘We
made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves,’ the
step stated. Now he had to account for a far more serious issue
than having defaulted on debts, disappointed his parents, betrayed
his friends and colleagues and let his addiction negatively affect
his work. To whom could he entrust this? God? Arnar was not
convinced He existed. Yet he had accepted that there was some power
that was superior to him, since it was impossible for him to become
healthy again without believing that. Suddenly the thought struck
him that perhaps there was no benevolent God in the universe, only
evil. If so, Arnar had joined forces with the Devil and could have
no hope of salvation, either in this life or in whatever might come
after death.
He had once slaved his way through Dante’s
Divine Comedy. Although he hadn’t understood the work
thoroughly – or its strange title – it had had a great effect on
him. Many of the poet’s images of life after death were still
embedded in his mind; for example, the fate of false prophets. They
had offended God by pretending to be able to foresee the future and
their heads were turned in reverse; in addition to this they wept
so much that they were blinded by their own tears. Arnar had
admittedly never been guilty of that, but he felt he knew exactly
where he would end up in Dante’s Hell. Until now he had thought it
certain that he would be placed deep in the Seventh Circle of Hell,
reserved for those guilty of sodomy; there he would wander a
burning desert, trying unsuccessfully to protect himself from fire
that rained from the sky. Now he realised he would end up even
lower: in the Ninth Circle. This place was intended for those who
had betrayed those closest to them. Arnar could not recall
precisely how this circle was organised but he did remember that
the souls there were trapped in a frozen lake; how much of their
bodies was free of the ice depended upon whom they had
betrayed.
As a mortal sinner he therefore had only two
choices: fire or ice. At a glance he would prefer fire; though he
trembled at the thought of either eternal cold or a sea of flames,
at least in the latter he wouldn’t be as lonely as he’d be in the
frozen lake, where no one could speak and the souls could only gaze
helplessly at the other wretches stuck in the gleaming ice.
Comedy was a strange name for a poem that was mostly so
devoid of joy. Moreover, Arnar had trouble tallying this
description of hell with Jesus’ having sacrificed himself on the
cross for the sins of mankind. If Dante’s description had any truth
to it, it would mean Christ’s sacrificial death had been for
nothing. Perhaps the poet had felt like Arnar when he wrote the
poem, certain that the sun would never rise again.
No, Arnar could think of no one to whom he could
entrust this. In terms of who would be chosen to help him through
the steps, it changed nothing. He detested himself when he thought
about this, and he couldn’t bear the thought of seeing that same
disgust kindled in the eyes of someone else. He had painted himself
into a corner; if he did not account for himself he would be unable
to free himself from the claws of Bacchus. The memory of what he
had done would eat at him from within and tear down his flimsy
defences against his addiction. There were two choices remaining to
him, both of them bad: to come clean and reap contempt and
condemnation, or to go grovelling back to alcohol like a dog in the
dirt. Whichever he chose, the reckoning or the bottle, it was clear
he had many more sleepless nights to come. Once again the best
solution seemed to be to kill himself, like a man. This gave him a
third choice of location in Dante’s Hell: in the middle of the
Seventh Circle, where he would become a thorn bush fed upon by
Harpies, winged beings with the heads of maidens.
Arnar laughed out loud in his dark, lonely room.
What was wrong with him? Did he really think that he would gain
peace of mind by contemplating an old poem; free himself from guilt
over his treachery and lust for revenge? He emitted a dry and
mirthless laugh, turned on his side and adjusted his pillow. How
far could one go in the name of revenge? Were there any unwritten
rules or ethical guidelines he had missed finding out about?
Hardly. Right now he could think of two proverbs in connection with
revenge. One was in line with what he had done – an eye for an eye
and a tooth for a tooth – but the other was entirely the opposite;
to turn the other cheek. The former had its origin in mankind’s
first attempts to codify laws in writing, with the Hammurabi Code,
while the latter was from the New Testament. Nearly 2,000 years
separated these two approaches and another 2,000 had passed without
any new options being provided. It must be high time to invent a
new phrase. It was hard to tell how it would be worded, but Arnar
suspected that his actions would nonetheless have contravened
it.
Maybe everything had worked out and there would be
no repercussions. The men had not necessarily met their maker.
They’d always had options, though Arnar couldn’t see what they
might have been. Unless God had intervened. Arnar relaxed a little.
If God existed, saving the men was in His hands. Just as Arnar
could have shown them mercy but chose not to do so. In that case,
how could the Lord of Hosts judge him for exactly the same thing?
Maybe there had been mitigating circumstances – what if he had been
hurt by the men’s insults and bullying and therefore couldn’t help
himself? Weren’t people sometimes acquitted because they rebelled
against their persecutors? He needed to keep firmly in mind how his
life had been ruined and make sure to emphasize that. Maybe then
people would show him understanding and judge him leniently, even
come to the conclusion that they would have done exactly the same
in his shoes. Maybe. Maybe not. The words of the reader at the AA
meeting earlier that evening echoed in his mind. You have no
hope of recovery while you carry around your old sins. They will
burden you with constant guilt and eventually you will give in to
the cunning prompting of your addiction to have a drink. Account
for yourself with full sincerity and you will feel how your burdens
become lighter and life becomes simpler and more manageable. But
your sincerity and honesty must be one hundred per cent. Not
ninety-nine. One hundred per cent. Otherwise, this only works for
short periods of time.
Arnar knew that the man was right. One hundred per
cent, not ninety-nine. So there was nothing he could do. In fact,
he was in the same boat as Bjarki and Dóri. God had to come to his
rescue. That is, if God existed and wasn’t too busy. The night
would be long, just like other nights in the future.
Outside snowflakes fell lightly to the ground as if
they didn’t really feel like doing so. Was it snowing in Greenland
now? If so, wouldn’t Bjarki and Dóri’s bodies soon be entirely
buried? Hopefully gone forever, but at least until the spring. What
would happen then? How would Arnar feel if a child came across
their remains? He had to do something. But it could wait. Maybe
until spring. Then he would have time to adapt his story to gain a
little sympathy.
‘Can you believe this?’ Thóra leaned back in her
chair. ‘And then they put it on the Internet like it’s just another
silly film.’
Matthew didn’t appear as shocked as she was. ‘Maybe
it wasn’t as nasty as it looked. What led up to it? Sometimes the
build-up reveals more than the event itself. And what happened
afterwards?’
Thóra frowned at him. ‘How can anything that was
done either before or after make this any better?’ She reached for
the mouse and replayed the video. As they watched the scene a third
time, Thóra felt as if she were as guilty as the pranksters. On the
screen the image moved down the familiar corridor of the Berg
office building in Greenland. The man holding the camera giggled
and whispered to someone who was apparently following him. Thóra
struggled to distinguish the words but thought that he whispered:
Do you think he’ll start crying? This was followed by the
uncontrollable giggling of his companions. Next the men started
singing ‘Happy Birthday’, and their singing sounded false to Thóra.
The camera stopped outside one of the doors in the corridor, which
appeared to be closed, and as the singing grew louder the camera
zoomed in on the door’s name-plate, on which stood the words
Arnar Jóhannesson – Engineer. A hand appeared in the frame
as the cameraman knocked hard on the door, then opened it almost
immediately. Inside a man sat in a chair at a desk. At first his
face displayed pleasant surprise, which quickly changed to
suspicion.
The singing stopped and the man was handed a white
shoebox tied with a large ribbon. The ribbon was made of yellow
plastic and printed with a warning about underground cables. ‘What
is this?’
‘A birthday present, or course! Isn’t it your
birthday today?’ The two men outside the frame giggled again, now
even more nastily than before. ‘Aren’t you going to open it?’
‘No, thank you.’ The man handed back the shoebox.
‘I remember what I got from you last year.’
‘Oh man, come on. We just didn’t remember that
you’d stopped drinking. Most people would be very happy to get a
bottle of schnapps.’
‘Yes, yes. Probably.’ The man shook the box at the
camera in an attempt to return it. ‘Take this and get out of here
with that camera. I need to work.’
‘Come on. Open it. We went to a lot of trouble to
get it for you.’ He wasn’t laughing any more. ‘Open your present,
man.’
The man looked into the camera, and the brutally
honest lens captured the moment of his surrender. ‘What is this?’
The anxiety in his voice was clear, but he received no answer. He
stared into the camera for a moment longer before violently tearing
off the plastic ribbon. He was clearly upset about giving in to
them, but was unable to toss the box at them and throw them out. It
was as if this were inevitable; if he didn’t open the box now it
would turn up again at the supper table, in the lounge or somewhere
else. Thóra frowned; it must have been horrible to be in this man’s
shoes in this kind of workplace. Before he took the lid off Arnar
looked up nervously. Then he threw it on the floor with a quick
flip of his hand and looked into the box. Thóra would have
preferred to fast forward through the rest of it, but she forced
herself to watch it again. The man cried out and looked at the
others in bewilderment. ‘What is wrong with you two?’ His voice
cracked.
‘What?’ The cameraman’s simulated surprise fooled
no one and Thóra supposed that the expression on his face was just
as false. ‘Aren’t you happy? We went to a lot of trouble to get
it.’
‘Get out of here.’ The man didn’t throw down the
shoebox, as he’d done with the lid, but let it lie in his arms and
simply stared down at it as he spoke. ‘This is even lower than I
would have believed you two could go.’
‘What?’ His voice was falsely incredulous. ‘Haven’t
you been trying to get this for a long, long time? You can stop
now. We’ve done it for you.’
The other man crowed: ‘Happy Birthday!’ The
giggling began again.
‘Get out.’ The man was still staring into the box.
‘You’re disgusting.’ The camera zoomed in to reveal the box’s
contents. It had been filled with paper from the paper shredder and
in the centre of the pile was a tiny sparrow.
‘Now you can stop trying to lure it to you with
breadcrumbs. Be happy.’
‘I wasn’t trying to lure it. I was feeding it. To
keep it alive.’ The man looked up and now anger radiated from his
face. ‘It’s obviously too much to ask, expecting imbeciles like you
to notice that there aren’t any birds here. It ended up here and
simply needed to be fed until the spring. Then it would have
survived.’
‘My dear man, don’t be so sentimental.’ The men
snickered and now the camera was turned towards them. They were
similar despite not looking at all the same, and to Thóra’s eye
they were the incarnation of boorishness – schoolyard bullies, all
grown up. One of them was starting to lose his hair but tried to
make up for it with his beard, which was ragged and discoloured.
The other was dirty blond and could have seriously used a haircut.
He was chubbier than his balding partner, but they were both
wearing dark blue fleece jackets marked Berg Technology,
which they should have thrown into the washing machine long ago.
They jeered and made faces into the camera, repeating ‘Happy
Birthday!’ before shutting it off.
Thóra turned to Matthew. ‘What utter, utter
bastards.’
‘Yes, they don’t seem to be particularly nice
people, judging by this video.’ Matthew was always cautious, so
Thóra didn’t push him for a stronger reaction. ‘I assume that these
are Bjarki and Dóri, the drillers, the ones we’re searching for,
along with other things.’
‘Yes, and I’m on the verge of believing that the
world is better off without them. I want to show you something else
on this page.’ She scrolled down. ‘Total nonsense, and most of it
seriously nasty. I’d bet my right arm that if the bones in the
drawers are Oddný Hildur’s, then these men were involved in
cleaning the flesh from them. I’m certain they wouldn’t have
thought anything of it.’
‘Have you watched all these clips?’ said Matthew as
she scrolled from one media player window to the next.
‘Yes.’ Thóra let go of the mouse. On the screen was
yet another clip waiting for her to click on ‘play’. ‘This is
typical of the rest: the two of them thinking they’re funny. I
don’t know who shot the video, or whether they set up the camera to
record automatically. Usually only one of them is in the frame at a
time.’ On the screen the men sat and smoked cigars with great
enthusiasm. The joke was based on the decision to allow all the
workers to decide for themselves whether smoking would be allowed
in their individual offices. The corridor would be a smoke-free
zone, and the smokers’ room as well, since its function was now
obsolete. Speculation on what it could now be used for took over
and the lameness of the humour increased exponentially.
‘I don’t understand half of what they’re saying but
it seems fairly innocent.’ Matthew yawned. ‘Shouldn’t we just go to
bed? We might very well have to wake up early tomorrow morning if
the police have got anywhere in their investigation.’ Thóra stopped
the video. ‘I doubt they’ve found anything. We were there for days
and we didn’t make much progress.’
‘They have better equipment than us. They can
detect blood and handle everything that we didn’t want to touch.
And you never know, they might have sent additional personnel from
the crime lab, and even sniffer dogs. I know that’s what I would do
if I were conducting the investigation on behalf of the
police.’
Thóra sighed. ‘Let me cling on to the hope that
I’ll get to sleep in tomorrow. Please.’
Matthew bent closer to the computer. ‘What is
this?’ He pointed at the clip that had been stopped on the screen.
‘Is this a part of the joke?’
Thóra also moved closer to see what he meant. The
two men were frozen in strange positions, one with his eyes closed
and his cigar raised, the other reaching for the ashtray, revealing
dark sweat stains in his armpits. However, it wasn’t either of the
men that had drawn Matthew’s attention, but something in the dark
window behind them. ‘Is it possible to enlarge this?’ Matthew had
got as close as he could without blocking the screen in front of
Thóra. ‘That looks like some kind of weird figure outside the
window.’
Thóra peered at the image. ‘Oh? I don’t see
anything.’ She squinted to try to get a better look. ‘Oh yes. Is
that a mask or a helmet?’
‘Maybe a snowmobile helmet.’ Matthew pointed at the
area directly above the vague figure. ‘There’s something else. He
seems to be dragging something along the window.’ He looked at
Thóra and hurriedly added: ‘Or she. There’s no way to tell.’
Thóra tilted her head back a little and looked at
the date of the clip. ‘This was made on the same day that Oddný
Hildur disappeared.’ She set the clip in motion again and they
watched the strange being move quickly past the window and out of
sight. Whatever it had been dragging behind it left an irregular
dark streak on the windowpane. ‘Could this be related to her
disappearance? If it’s not an employee, then it’s possible that it
might have been someone who wished to do them harm.’
‘Isn’t that rather far-fetched?’ Matthew
straightened up as the clip finished. ‘It’s probably something
related to the joke, or an employee of Berg.’
‘We can find out.’ Thóra stood up. ‘It would be
best to have Friðrikka and Eyjólfur look at it. Since it was
uploaded on the same day that Oddný Hildur disappeared, they would
both have been on site, and I’m guessing that everyone followed
this blog.’
‘Everyone but Arnar,’ said Matthew. ‘He would
hardly have been waiting with bated breath for the next
entry.’
‘No, hardly. We have to speak to him. It seems to
me that if he tells us what could get him to return to work, it
would be child’s play to persuade the other workers to do the
same.’