- Unknown
- Prolog: Piers Anthony's VOLK
- volk002.htm
It was a hot summer afternoon when Herr Best
and family approached his brother's city of Wiesbaden. The journey
had been tedious, with delays for ship passage and train passage
and assorted clearances and briefings, and Ernst was thoroughly
tired of traveling. Now he admired the scenery with increasing
nostalgia as the train drew closer to the familiar area. This was
the Rhineland, perhaps the most beautiful region of Germany. The
rivers wound through the hills and mountains, girt by lovely old
castles, the remnants of medieval greatness. These were among the
few things that were not tidy, orderly, and cleaned up in Germany,
but it would have been a shame to modernize the ruins which had
endured for centuries. The area was thickly wooded, with vegetation
threatening to overrun the edifices; Ernst's mind's eye filled in
what he could not see from the tracks. Yes, Germany remained in
certain enchanting respects primal; no one would take it for a
modern industrial nation, from this vantage.
Then the suburban outskirts of Wiesbaden
appeared, dominated by agriculture, fruit plantations, vineyards
and mansions. A hundred and seventy thousand people lived here--a
small number compared to the half million of Frankfurt, nearby. But
Wiesbaden was still far from village status.
This had been home for Ernst during the first
years of his life. Then his father had gotten the good position
that took the family all around the world, and Ernst had been here
only irregularly. His Uncle Karl had taken over the estate, though
he was only a shopkeeper. Theoretically he maintained it for his
brother; in practice it seemed to have become Karl's. But if Herr
Best--to Ernst, his father would always be Herr Best, the important figure of the family--if he remained
in Germany this time, that would change. Ernst hoped that would be
the case. He was tired of getting uprooted.
Uncle Karl met them at the station and
chauffeured them to the estate in the big 1936 convertable Mercedes
Limousine. New cars, Ernst realized, were hard to come by these
days; too much of the country's industrial capacity was going to
war machines. In fact the possession of a new car might almost be
considered unpatriotic, since the materials and effort squandered
in its manufacture might better have been contributed to the
nation's effort of improvement. But Herr Best was not an ordinary
citizen, and this car would last for decades; it had been built
with German pride.
"This time you must stay," Uncle Karl said
genially to Herr Best. "It is no longer safe in foreign
lands."
"But there is money to be made there, and
there are services to be rendered there, for the good of the
Fatherland," Herr Best replied with the cheerful resignation of his
nature. They were speaking in German, of course; it still seemed
slightly strange to Ernst, after two solid years of English. Uncle
Karl knew English, but normally declined to speak it. However,
Ernst knew that German, like a long disused shoe of good quality,
would soon become fully natural to him again.
"Money to be made here too!" Uncle Karl
exclaimed. "Since Hitler came to power, the economy is booming. My
shop caters to the affluent factory workers, and business is good,
very good." He turned his face to Ernst. "Do you miss the Hitler
Youth, lad? There's an excellent outfit."
"I miss Germany," Ernst said. Which was
true--but at the moment, the memory of his friends in America was
more poignant. He had been a little afraid to make new friends
after the loss of Hans Bremen, especially among flyers. But Lane
Dowling, who in certain respects resembled Hans, had not been one
to be denied. It was as though such people forged ahead as rapidly
in social contacts as they did in the airplanes they so loved, and
the targets of their attention could not be unmoved. He sincerely
hoped Lane would not crash also. But Uncle Karl would never
understand that sentiment, so it wasn't worth discussing.
Karl went on to other subjects, ensuring that
there would be no gap in conversation. Karl was not much for
silences, in contrast to Herr Best's more introspective side of the
family. Perhaps it was a survival trait for shopkeepers to be
loquacious, and for diplomats to be silent. "Have you kept up with
current events?" he inquired meaningfully.
"You are referring to Austria?" Herr Best
replied.
"Wasn't that something! This man Hitler is a
marvel! Remember the terrible, degrading terms forced on Germany
after the war? The bruising reparations, the occupation of
Frankfurt? Right here, those misbegotten French troops passed,
pillaging--"
"That is the nature of armies," Herr Best
agreed grimly. "The French occupied the Saar until the end of 1930,
as I recall."
"As you recall!" Karl snorted. "As if you
weren't cursing the French the whole time, since the Saarland is
hardly a stone's throw from here. German territory, stolen by the
French!"
"But we do have it back now," Herr Best
rejoined mildly. He had a more cosmopolitan outlook, having
traveled far more widely and been exposed to many foreign
viewpoints. Ernst, remembering the differences in attitudes about
the Jews, could understand. What made sense in France or America
did not necessarily make sense in Germany--and vice versa.
"And the occupation of the Ruhr," Uncle Karl
continued, warming up to a favorite subject. "All because they
claim we defaulted on reparations payments. How could Germany repay
such huge amounts when she had six million workers out of work,
with their families hungry--and that meant twenty-five million
living people hungry--and no freedom, no
equality, no territory because the French had annexed it all? The
Versailles treaty was a monster; they promised us Wilson's Fourteen
Points, but they betrayed us--and then they violated even that poor
document! They had no honor at all!"
"True," Herr Best agreed, remembering.
"Victors need no honor." He had not spoken openly of this at home,
but Ernst had picked it up. Germany had been foully treated and
could no longer trust the promises of enemies. Especially those who
were not Aryans. What was honor to lesser races? Better to fight to
the last man! Better still to make sure that Germany never lost
another war.
"Those cursed payments had already destroyed
the Reichsmark," Kurt continued. "The damned bloodsuckers destroyed
our currency, then invaded our territory because our currency was
no good!"
"Please," Ernst's mother murmured, reminding
Ernst uncomfortably of the way the Quaker girl cautioned his friend
Lane. Indeed, Uncle Karl's neck had grown red and his voice tight,
as it did when he suffered an overload of emotion. Yet this was a
righteous ire shared by many, perhaps the majority of Germans. In
America, Ernst knew, people were hardly conscious of the ravages
that depression and the Reparations brought to Germany. Like a
starving, whipped cur, his country would have turned against its
tormentors at last--but there had been no way, for Germany had also
been disarmed. The Americans had never experienced this degree of
humiliation, so regarded it lightly. They had suffered only a
gentle backwash of the world Depression, rather than its frontal
savagery. But at least America had not been closely involved in
this, so the anger of the Fatherland was not directed there. France
was the major culprit, and to a lesser extent England.
Uncle Karl calmed himself, turning to a more
positive subject. "But Adolf Hitler changed all that. He stabilized
the currency, reduced unemployment, brought law and order and
restoreed pride to us. He made the Volk
respectable again. He made the French return the Saarland. He
rearmed us, and there was nothing the French or the British could
do. He made Austria part of Germany, as it should have been long
ago. Austria wanted to unite with us, but the Allies prevented it
from pure spite. They wanted us to suffer! And now, soon,
Czechoslovakia--"
"Czechoslovakia?" Herr Best inquired, as if he
didn't catch the drift. Ernst smiled privately; his father kept
alow profile, politically, but he knew precisely what was going on.
He had probably known about the Czech situation long before it had
come to Uncle Karl's attention.
"There are millions of good Germans settled in
the Czech Sudeten," Karl assured him. "They are mistreated there,
under foreign rule. There have been riots. They must be permitted
to rejoin the Fatherland, and Germany itself must have Lebensraum, room to live. It is only right."
And there was a potent term, Ernst thought.
Lebensraum was part of Hitler's Blut und Boden vocabulary: blood and soil. It
suggested that the members of fittest race had to establish a link
of blood to the soil they worked, and extend their territory to the
regions governed by weaker races in order to gain more soil for the
superior blood. The strong needed room to live.
"Indeed so," Herr Best agreed. But he was
understandably sober. "We do not operate in a political vacuum,
internationally. If such unification should provoke war--"
"Then it will be a righteous war! Besides,
Germany is strong, now. No more will the French intrude on our soil
with impunity."
Ernst was listening, but his eye was wandering
over the familiar yet newly strange scenery beyond the road. He
noted the new buildings and reduced vegetation. He had traveled
through here when in the Hitler Youth.
"And what is your opinion, Ernst?" Karl
inquired suddenly.
"I prefer not to express opinions on matters
which are beyond my competence," Ernst said carefully.
"Then express one on a matter within your
competence," his uncle said. "Demonstrate the manner your mind is
maturing." It was a challenge. Karl had never said so directly, but
had always managed to convey the impression that Herr Best was a
relative nonentity, and his son another.
Ernst glanced at his father, who looked away.
It was time for Ernst to perform for his fiery uncle, and take the
consequences. If his sojourn in America had corrupted him, Karl
would make him pay.
He remembered the game of Truth he had played
with his American friend Lane and Lane's Quaker fiancee. This was
like another episode of that. He could make of it what he
chose.
"This region reminds me of my experience in
the Hitler Youth," he said. "I traveled this road then. I joined at
age fifteen, when the program was rapidly expanding, and I enjoyed
it and believe I did well. Today boys may join at ten, serving four
years in the Jungvolk, the junior division,
then four more in the senior division, Hitler
Jugend, which we called HJ. I was too early, so lacked those
first four years; I simply crossed over from one of the other youth
programs."
"Which makes you exactly like every other boy
in Germany," Karl said. The implication was that Ernst had no mind
of his own. But to deny it would be a trap. How could he differ
from the patriotic support of his country?
Seeing the trap was tantamount to avoiding it.
But he wanted to do more than that; he wanted to set his uncle back
a step, to teach him some respect--without ever expressing any
disrespect. There was the true challenge. So he allowed himself to
walk further into the trap, seemingly.
"Perhaps so," he agreed. "There was no social
pressure put on me to join; I simply liked the uniform and the
programs and the camaraderie and the approval of my family. My
father, working in the government, was a Nazi Party member, and of
higher social status than that of the families in my neighborhood,
which sometimes made for awkwardness. But in the HJ there were boys
from all classes, and there were no social distinctions. In that
framework, I could have any friends I wanted, including some my
family might otherwise frown upon." He glanced again at his father,
who continued to fix his gaze elsewhere. "All of us were united in
HJ in patriotism, and excitement. We camped out, we ate well, we
marched in parades, we rode horses, paddled inflated rafts across
wild rivers--well, flowing streams--rowed boats, motorcycled,
climbed mountains, threw dummy hand grenades, flew gliders, and
indulged in many sports. We boxed, participating in tournaments,
winning prizes, developing ourselves physically. We sang, both
patriotically and just for fun. We loved every bit of it."
"Completely ordinary," Karl said. "No
individual character at all."
"Completely," Ernst agreed. "Except in the
approved manner. We had an enhanced sense of responsibility and
dedication. For the Hitler Youth in my day was run by youths rather
than by adults. Here, boys were no longer subserviant to teachers;
we were not confined to prisonlike buildings. Boys were supreme!
There was an exuberance about that which was almost intoxicating.
This was an escape from narrowness, and it was associated with
something vital and important. This was the uplifting spirit. Here
were--the Volk."
"The Volk!" Karl
echoed, agreeing. He had used the word himself.
"What spirit is associated with that term!"
Ernst continued. "It stands for the racially and spiritually pure
and fit, the young strength and hope of the nation. In the world
War we Germans lost partly because we had been deceived and
betrayed by the Allies and Jews and Communists, and partly because
we had not been strong. Not strong enough to withstand the kicks of
the whole world. But this time our youth is being brought to its
full potential, to be absolutely superior to all others. Other
nations may let their youth lie fallow, to grow up into weaklings.
I have seen it in America: few are strong. One in a hundred, a
thousand." He thought of Lane Dowling, indeed one in a thousand.
"Most Americans never approach their potential, lacking any program
to bring them up to it. But here in Germany we know that a
physically healthy human being with courage is more valuable than
any weakling, regardless how intelligent that weakling may think
himself. The Volk are strong, and I am
proud to be one of them."
Karl eyed him appraisingly. He could not argue
with this thesis without seeming false to the Fatherland, and he
could not object to Ernst's attitude on the grounds of conformity.
Ernst was conforming in the most patriotic possible manner. Herr
Best was still gazing away, but smiling. He knew that Ernst had
backed Karl off. That was a significant family event.
Then Karl changed the subject, which was his
way of conceding the issue. "And what of the girls?"
"I did not go to America to socialize, I went
to learn the best of what they had to offer." But now he thought of
Lane's fiancee, Quality Smith. On the surface a typically decadent
college creature. But she was not. She was another in a thousand,
intriguing in surprising ways.
"Wait until you see the Mädchen," Karl said smugly. "Remember that spindly
neighbor's girl Krista?"
Krista. Ernst concentrated, remembering. She
had been fourteen, perhaps fifteen, in the BDM, Bund Deustcher Mädchen, the League of German Girls
within the Hitler Youth. He had seen a lot of her because her house
was adjacent and her main entertainment had been to tag along after
him. Her family had not kept close enough watch on her. She had
stringy yellow hair, freckles, a turned-up nose and awkward
limbs.
But Krista, despite her inadequacies, had
believed in the Aryan ideal. She had been convinced that proper
living and proper effort would transform her, too, into a superior
creature. She had had faith, determination, and precious little
else.
"I remember," Ernst said.
Uncle Karl grinned. "You have an experience
coming. She is most eager to see you again."
"All in good time," Ernst murmured, aware that
he was the object of some sort of joke. Had Krista become an
amazon? That was hard to imagine.
At last they drew up to the house. This was a
fine big mansion, stone-fronted, surrounded by neatly trimmed lawns
and hedges. Ernst had lived here four years, between Herr Best's
Spanish and American assignments. Two of those years his father had
been away on duty in Japan; the family had felt it better for Ernst
to remain in civilized Germany during this important segment of his
education. Thus he had had four full years in the Fatherland, and
he remained grateful. It was not that he had disliked his time in
Spain or America--those had in fact been rewarding years, and he
had been sorry to part with his friends in those places--but he had
friends here too, and continuity was important.
But now he had no time for reflection. They
were swept up in the rush of moving in. Several of the old servants
remained, and all had to be individually greeted by each member of
the returning family. Ernst more or less turned off his mind and
engaged in the necessary ritual.
***
Ernst had hoped to renew his aquaintence with
his friends, particularly his peers of the Hitler Youth, but he was
disappointed. Most of them were gone. The fittest had joined the
Wehrmacht, the army; others had gone into
Party service. The rest had found employment in the booming
economy. There was virtually no one to talk to. What a change two
years had made!
Then Krista showed up, as Uncle Karl had
warned she would. Ernst did not at first recognize her. She had
been gangling at fifteen; now she was voluptuous at seventeen, with
hair that glistened like that of a harvest goddess, and startlingly
blue eyes. Her freckles had abated, and her nose had assumed
asthetic proportions, enhancing her facial features. In fact, she
was little short of stunning.
They sat in the receiving room, decorously,
and talked, for Herr Best tolerated no impropriety between the
sexes. In this he was in exact accord with the stricture of the
Hitler Youth. Ernst, having seen the way it was in America, now
found the German system constrictive. But in due course he would be
on his own; then he would see. Here, he obeyed the rules of the
house. He watched while the maid delivered innocuous refreshments
and retreated.
Ernst had expected conversation to be
strained, for he had not really wanted to encounter the girl so
soon. But Krista was charged with news and excitement, and she
carried the dialogue forward at the pace of a bubbling brook.
"Oh, Ernst, you are as handsome as ever! How
was it in America? Have you forgotten how to speak German? How do
you like me now?" And she inhaled, turning her profile to
advantage. How well she knew what she had become, a strikingly
beautiful young woman. Ernst was reminded of Lane, again, who had
by his own confession been a weakling in youth, but transformed
into a very fine figure of a man. Krista had certainly transformed!
Maybe there was more to positive living than Ernst had supposed;
more likely Krista had been fated to blossom at this time regardles
of her beliefs or actions.
"I miss the Hitler Youth," Ernst said,
avoiding her challenge for a compliment. She had become a forward
girl, and that was not ideal.
"I'm in the BDM," she said quickly. "I'm a
group leader, same as you were. We may demonstrate in Nuremburg
next month."
"The Nuremburg rally," he said, remembering.
"How well I recall that!"
"Yes, you were there," she agreed brightly.
"Tell me how it was."
She was playing up to him deliberately,
pretending a greater interest than she felt, in order to flatter
him. Ernst was aware of this, and was accordingly flattered. His
prior image of her was fading under the onslaught of present
reality. She was one radiantly attractive girl, and the force of
her prettiness was almost tangible. But he was wary of such
attention. Why should this newly-bloomed creature be so fascinated
with him, after two years separation? He preferred to ascertain her
true motive before accepting her interest ar face value. So he
temporized. "How do you feel about the Youth? I mean, of course
everyone attends until age eighteen, but do you really like
it?"
"Of course I like it!" she exclaimed
defensively.
What else would she say? To criticize the
Führer's youth program would be
unpatriotic. Yet sometimes expressed patriotism could mask a
fundamental dissatisfaction with the system. Ernst had always
understood that; his father's employment had made him canny about
the ways of covert and overt belief. Part of the reason he had
succeeded so well with his youth group was his comprehension of the
motives of individuals. He had acted quietly to get the
incorrigibles and incompetents transferred to other units, and had
concentrated on the wavering cases that had most promise. In due
course he had brought them to full belief and acceptance, so that
they worked wholeheartedly for the benefit of the group. Ernst's
troop had become one of the most disciploned and responsive, a
model, and the rewards had been gratifying. They had made public
demonstrations, and in the end had been selected to march at
Nuremburg: an honor that brought lasting pride to every
member.
Now he applied his subtle skill to Krista. "I
liked it too. But the horses were better than Mein Kampf."
"The horses!" she agreed joyfully. Of course a
healthy girl liked to ride. But there was also the tacit confession
that she had not been interested in the Führer's autobiography. The truth was, few youths
were. Ernst himself had read it and found it fascinating--but that
was because he had special interest. He was the only one he knew
who had honestly gotten through it. The other boys, if they read at
all, had much preferred the heroic sagas of Karl May, and Krista
surely was no exception. Her body had changed remarkably in two
years, but her mind had remained more constant. Copies of Mein Kampf were abundant--it was perhaps the mosty
widely distributed book in Germany--and they remained clean and
neat because they received almost no attention. This girl was
probably a minimal reader; she read only what she had to, to set an
example and qualify for a position of leadership.
"And the ghost stories were better than the
propoganda," he added.
"They still are," she agreed. Then she picked
up the significance and affected shock. "Propaganda?"
"Do not be naive," he cautioned her.
"Propoganda is not a bad word. All countries use it. In America the
people are conditioned to believe in the saintliness of Roosevelt
and the sanctity of the rights of all citizens, even the negroids
and the Jews."
"The Jews!"
"And what is wrong with the Jews?" he asked,
smiling.
She was so confused she splattered. "How can
you--"
Ernst laughed. "All I am doing is telling you
how it is in decadent America. They have almost no concept of
racial purity, of Volk. They take pride in
being a melting pot of races."
"What do they know," she said, relieved. "You
shouldn't tease me so."
"Pretty girls are meant to be teased."
Actually he had been trying to draw her out, to provoke her, to
verify what she was now made of, so that he could come to a
conclusion whether she was worthwhile to know. Ernst certainly
appreciated the physical appeal, but that was superficial, like the
shine on a car. More important were the fundamental attributes of
personality and intellect. In addition, he was interested in
exploring the currently prevailing attitude on race, for he
suspected racism had been intensifying here while he had been
exposed to the far more liberal attitudes of the Americans. He
could make a fool of himself in Germany if he misjudged the
political climate; he preferred to play it safe.
Krista, meanwhile, was blushing, pleased at
the compliment. She had worked so hard for such a harvest! But she
could not refer to it directly, so she continued the other subject.
"So you did not associate with Jews, there?"
"I met some. I was on a college wrestling
team, and one of my matches was against a Jew." Actually, a
teammate had been Jewish, but Ernst deemed it inexpedient to
advertise that here. "I must confess he was a strong man; he looked
almost Nordic, and he fought fair. I would not have known his
origin, had he not told me."
"And you touched him?"
Ernst laughed again. "It is difficult to win a
wrestling match without touching your opponent! Jews are after all
people, even as we are. It can be hard to blame them for the
unfortunate accident of their birth. This one's grandfather was a
Jew; he himself did not follow their abominable religion." Even
here he was skating on thin ice, for he was not at all sure there
was anything inherently abominable about the Jewish religious
ritual. Was it really so different, fundamentally, from the
ceremonies of Roman Catholicism? Obviously the Jews and Catholics
thought so, but Ernst himself was disinterested in the various
forms of religion. He believed in God, but was uncertain which
forms of worship God actually favored.
"A Jew is a Jew, to the sixth generation," she
said grimly. Tainted blood was extremely potent; a tiny drop of it
could ruin an otherwise excellent Aryan.
"True. Yet in America it is different. Their
discrimination is very subtle. Their Jews can intermarry freely
with others. Some hold responsible positions; some are honored in
politics or industry. To many Americans, what they term racism is a
worse offense than being Jewish."
"You must be glad to be home!" she
exclaimed.
"Yes, of course--but not for that reason. If I
were to live in America all of the time, I would probably come to
feel as they do, to accept Jews as part of the society. Jews are
people too, after all."
"Are you testing me?" she demanded, growing
worried and angry.
He was, but not in the way she thought. He was
verifying her horizons, which seemed not to have expanded as
adequately as had her body. "Perhaps I am merely verifying my own
beliefs," he said carefully. "I did not object to Jews at first. It
was only after I read Mein Kampf that I
realized their nature. How they infiltrate quietly into society,
like worms in fresh apples. How they pretend allegiance, but
actually conspire to hurt decent folk and dominate the world. Even
now I concede that some Jews could be good people. But they are
indelibly tainted by their blood and their heritage. A tame python
might be a worthwhile pet, but it remains a python, and must pay
the penalty of its kind."
"What penalty?" she asked.
"Well, the python caused Eve to eat the fruit
of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, so that she and Adam
were exiled from the Garden of Eden. For that the python is
accursed among animals--"
"I meant the Jews," she said.
"The Jews? Maybe they should all emigrate to
America. I do not wish them any harm. I merely want my homeland
pure. A Jew-free Germany." He shrugged. He was expressing a safe
attitude, rather than his own. "But this is no subject for parlor
conversation! You were telling me how it is in the Youth."
"As if you didn't know!" She frowned. "You
think I can't tell you anything new? I'll show you! Have you heard
about Rommel?"
"I know of no Youth by that name."
"Lieutenant-Colonel Rommel, stupid--the war
hero. Last year he joined the Hitler Youth."
"The war hero? Holder of the highest
decoration, the Pour le Merite? Certainly I
know of him! But the war was twenty years ago; isn't he a little
old for--"
"As instructor, as advisor!" she said,
laughing. "They decided to put in a real soldier, to give some
practical military training. He was doing it too, organizing for
sound education and character building. But our dear leader
Schirach, who is no soldier, got jealous. He wants to run the Youth
all by himself. Rommel told him right out that if he wanted to be
the leader of a para-military force, he should first become a
soldier himself. Oooo, Schirach didn't like that! So he kicked
Rommel out. They called it reassignment, of course, to cover up the
truth. How's that for news?"
"It's a scandal!" Ernst exclaimed. "A man like
Rommel--I wish my troop had had his instruction!"
"So the Youth is not perfect," she said
smugly. "There is politics there too. You thought I was too stupid
to know, didn't you?"
"Well, a girl as pretty as you doesn't need to
be smart." There was an art to temporizing.
Krista struggled with that statement, but
finally decided it was a compliment. "Now
will you tell me about Nuremburg?"
"Nuremburg is a famous city in the mountain's
of southern Germany, in Bavaria, some two hundred and forty
kilometers east-southeast of here--"
She hit him lightly with her small fist. "Will
you stop that? You know I meant when you went there, four years
ago."
"Oh, that. Four years is a long time to
remember." Actually he owed it to her; the news she had imparted
about Rommel was certainly of interest to him. What a lost
opportunity for the Youth! If Ernst had to enlist in the army, he'd
jump at the chance to serve under Rommel.
Of course Krista hoped to go to Nuremburg
herself, for the annual festivities, and she wanted the reassurance
of his prior experience. He should be happy to tell her all about
it; seldom would he have a more enthusiastic audience. Yet somehow
he found himself holding back. Why?
He figured it out in a moment. It was because
a substantial part of Krista's interest had to be in him, rather
than in the subject. That was flattering, but it was time to begin
distancing himself from her, if he didn't want to be pushed into
more of a commitment than he desired. It was obvious that both his
family and hers thought that the two of them would be an excellent
match, and so they had been put together and left alone. Krista
already wanted him, and she was now the kind of girl any man would
want. Propinquity was bound to have effect.
But Ernst did not want to be managed. Perhaps
he had indeed been corrupted to that extent by his stay in America.
He wanted to choose for himself, especially in love. Also, he had
become more discriminating. He now recognized in Krista certain
limitations, a narrowness of outlook, that subtly repelled him. She
was beautiful, but she was not the shadow of the woman that Lane's
fiancee Quality was. He did not want to be bound to her.
But how could he avoid it? It seemed that
everyone, including Krista herself, was determined to do it. He
could not simply decline; there would be repercussions and
unpleasantness.
Then he thought of a way. He would answer her,
but in a way that should discourage her from pursuing him. If he
could cause her to lose her interest in him, not because of any
suspicion about his patriotism but for unspecified reason, he would
soon be free of her without blame.
He moved closer to her and put his arm around
her shoulders. "I will be happy to tell you all about it. The very
memory thrills me."
She turned into him, surprised and pleased by
his action. He hoped that this was a superficial reaction. "You can
imagine the excitement of preparation, the constant drilling, the
competition with other units, the hope and fear of success, and of
the enormous satisfaction of having your troop chosen to go to the
Nuremberg Rally."
"Yes," she breathed.
He moved his hand down from her shoulder to
her hip. "As you know, the city is almost three hundred kilometers
by road from Wiesbaden, because the road follows the meandering
river and the contours of the land, stretching out the distance. It
was a longer journey than many of us had made before, which was
part of the excitement."
"Yes!"
His hand moved slowly along her thigh. "It was
a glorified camping excursion; we sang patriotic songs on the way.
But in time boredom set in, for we were sixteen, with brief
attention spans. The songs degenerated. Finally we got to the
notorious ribald Es Zittern die morschen
Knochen, 'The rotten bones are trembling,' only certain
portions were changed so that it became 'the rotten bones are
trembling in the ass.'"
Krista tittered. She gave no sign of objecting
to the manner his hand was traveling. But she would have to,
soon.
"At that point I was compelled to call off the
singing," he continued. "There could have been serious
repercussions if anyone in authority had overheard."
"I have heard of that song," Krista said. "I
don't know the words, of course."
"Of course," he agreed with a chuckle. He gave
her thigh a squeeze through the cloth of her skirt. Still she did
not object. Could she be unaware?
"Then we encountered a contingent traveling
south from Leipzig, and one of my boys yelled 'Beefsteak!' and
almost started a pitched battle between groups. For it is known
that in the larger cities a good many Communist youth groups had
converted to the Hitler Youth under pressure, and many Communists
had joined the Nazi storm troopers. Thus we referred to them
dirisively as 'beefsteak Nazis': brown on the outside, red on the
inside. It takes more than a brown shirt to make a good Nazi."
"Beefsteak!" Krista exclaimed, giggling.
"That's good! You should have fought them."
His hand continued past her knee and made the
turn. He found the hem of her skirt and touched her bare leg. "But
what kind of a marching exhibition would my troop have put on, if
it had gotten beaten up beefstakes?" Ernst inquired. "They
outnumbered us, and some were pretty large steaks." But in truth he
was rather proud of the episode. He hated Communism.
"True," she said with similar regret.
"The Rally was phenomenal. It lasted almost a
week, with different programs scheduled each day. There were so
many people there that they filled the streets and courtyards. All
day there were marches and parades, with banners and standards, the
magnificent black swastika symbol of the Volk set in a white circle against a bright red
background. There was singing and cheering in unison, a mighty
chorus from thousands of throats. Bands played stirring military
music; drums beat out the thrumming cadences. Emotion built up. It
was terrific."
"Yes," she whispered.
His hand was now sliding back up her leg,
taking the skirt with it. Still no protest. Where was her
limit?
"Then the Führer
spoke, thundering out his enthusiasm for Germany, for the great
ideals of this great nation, for the thousand year empire of the
Third Reich. The crowd responded passionately, and I was one with
it. 'Ein Reich! Ein Volk! Ein Führer!' over
and over, louder and louder. The Nation, the People, the
Leader--what inspiration! The emotion of the occasion charged the
air; it was as if the very soul of the Volk
issued forth from these massed bodies. Individual response no
longer existed; there was only the passion of the moment."
"Oh," she said, her eyes shining. How could
she be oblivious to the progress of his hand? He was now passing
the knee again, inside her skirt. He had expected her to balk
before this, to start drawing away, to be repulsed by the discovery
that he was only interested in forbidden touching. That he was, in
short, a typical young man. She was supposed to be turned off by
this revelation, and to lose her fascination with him.
"At night there was a torchlight procession.
The drumbeat grew deafening, compelling every foot, even among
those who only watched. I had never experienced a more moving
demonstration. The beat and image pulsed in my brain long after the
marches passed. I could hardly sleep."
"Yes."
"Then came the Party Day of Unity, and the
Youth Rally. This was the biggest moment of all. My troop was one
of those privileged few to march in the sight of the Führer. And Adolf Hitler spoke directly to the
Youth, praising the boys for their past achievements and for their
attainment of the important goal of discipline. Only discipline and
obedience, he said, would make us fit to issue orders later in
life."
"Yes," Krista repeated. Then, as his hand
crossed the top of her bared thigh and headed inside: "Someone
might see."
She had finally balked! He had been getting
worried.
Then she stood, adjusted her skirt, and sat
sideways on his lap, her skirt falling down outside. "But now they
can't," she murmured, and leaned in to kiss him.
Ernst stiffened his jaw to prevent it from
dropping. She was not objecting. What was
he supposed to do now?
She had to be bluffing. She was too conformist
to break with convention. She was trying to make him back off. Where would he be, if she succeeded?
So it was a contest between them, and he had to win it if he wanted
to be free of her.
She was right about one thing: no one could
see his hand under her skirt now. The contest would be invisible.
Where would she stop? He would find out. He moved in and touched
the slick satiny surface of her buttock.
But meanwhile he talked, because it was the
sound of their voices that reassured family members elsewhere in
the house. Silence would occasion an investigation. "I remember the
very words Hitler spoke. 'We want to be a peace-loving people, but
at the same time courageous,' he concluded ringingly. 'That is why
you must be peaceful and courageous too. Our people must be
honor-loving; you must learn the concept of honor from earliest
childhood.' For all of us in the audience had learned the
consequence of dishonor, as practiced by the Allies after the War.
The Volk would set a new and perfect
standard for all the world to behold and try to emulate. 'You must
be proud,' the great man continued. 'Proud to be the youthful
members of the greatest nation in the world. But you must also
practice obedience. You must learn to overcome hardship and
privations. There must be no class distinctions among our people;
never let such notions take root among you.' And, with a florish,
he finished: 'All that we expect of the Germany of the future, we
expect of you. We shall pass on, but Germany will live in
you.'"
"Oh, yes!" Krista agreed. Ernst wasn't sure
whether she meant agreement with Hitler's words, or with the
progress of his hand, which was now far beyond the bounds of
propriety.
He carried on. "The applause interrupted the
great man frequently during his speech. Now the cheering was
deafening. The Hitler Youth anthem played, and the Führer shook hands with the most favored Youths.
Among those was mine. I was afraid the very bones of my fingers
would shake apart as I shivered with excitement. I remember
thinking The rotten bones are trembling,
and being horribly embarrassed at the very notion. I didn't matter,
but I would have hated to soil Hitler's hand with rotten bones. But
his grip was firm, and mine seemed so too. 'Fine job!' the
Führer murmured, giving me a brief,
meaningful glance. Then he went on, leaving me half stunned. The
great man had spoken personally to me, and looked me right in the
eye!"
"Oh, that must have been Heaven!" Krista
agreed enviously, the muscles of her legs tightening against his
hand. "To shake his hand!"
It had been, indeed. Yet this present moment
had a certain devious similarity, for her body was also having an
electrifying effect on his hand. He was beginning to hope that she
wouldn't balk.
"It was," he agreed. I was half-dazed in
off-moments for days thereafter. That was when I read Mein Kampf and learned about the Jews." He didn't
say that he had since had cause to doubt that all Jews were of that
nature.
"More," she said.
Yet again he was surprised. Did she mean more
about his life, though the high point of it had passed with that
meeting with Hitler, or more of what he was doing under her skirt?
Or both? He was about to have to concede defeat, because there was
not much farther he could afford to go without hopelessly
compromising himself as much as her.
"There is not much, and I think you know it
already. I graduated from the Youth at age eighteen, and was ready
for my national service. But then my father was transferred to
America. That was a separate experience, and one I value."
"And now you are back, and I am so glad to
have you back," she said. "As I have been trying to show you."
She had indeed. "Now I am twenty, and am
subject to military service," he said. "Later I can complete my
education at a University, perhaps at Frankfurt." Actually the
Fuhrer despised those who studied as weaklings, unfit for the
Volk, unless they specialized in something
technical or agriculture. While Ernst would never criticize Hitler,
he hoped that his own interest in higher education would not be
considered too large a blemish on his character. "I will seek a
term in the regular army or the SS. Unless my father is able to
exert influence and get me into a university immediately. It is not
that I am unpatriotic, but that I think I can best serve the
Fatherland by completing my education first. So it seems likely
that I will not be here at home long."
"Is this a polite riddance?" she asked.
"I thought it might be," he said, taken aback
again by her candor.
Krista turned her head to face him, and spoke
with intensity. "I have gone as far as you dare, right here in your
straight-laced uncle's foyer. I have matched you in this game of
touching, Ernst. I know you thought nothing of me before, and I
knew I did not have much time to make an impression on you. But I
have changed in everything but this: I still love you. I think I
can be good for you, if you will let me. But I will let you go
without a murmur, and not bother you again, if you can tell me
right now that you will never, under any circumstances, love me
back. Speak those words, Ernst, and you will be rid of me forever."
She gazed into his eyes, challenging him directly. Her thighs
squeezed his hand.
Ernst returned her gaze and opened his mouth.
She had offered him exactly what he wanted. But he found that he
could not speak the words. She was beautiful. She was ardent. His
hand was captive between her legs, and his eyes were captive to
hers. "You have not matched me, Krista, you have beaten me," he
confessed. "I am interested in you, now, and can not say I will
never love you."
"Then will I be your Mädchen?"
He shrugged, not because of indifference, but
because he had no way to deny her. "If you wish. For now."
She leaned over and kissed him. "Then I am
yours. For now."
He remained surprised at this development, but
oddly satisfied. His family would be pleased at the success of
their ploy, but that was the least of it.
Then there was the tread of someone
approaching the foyer. They sprang apart as if there had been an
explosion between them, and were abruptly decorous.