Agnes saw the rocks rush past, looked down and saw the foam of the swollen river.

The world spun around her when Vlad stopped in mid-air. Water washed over her toes.

“Let there be…lightness,” he said. “You’d like to be as light as the air, wouldn’t you, Agnes?”

“We—we’ve got broomsticks…” Agnes panted. Her life had just flashed past her eyes and wasn’t it dull? Perdita added.

“Useless cumbersome stupid things,” he said. “And they can’t do this—

The walls of the gorge went past in a blur. The castle dropped away. Clouds drenched her. Then they unrolled as a silver-white fleece, under the silent cold light of the moon.

Vlad wasn’t beside her. Agnes slowed in her rise, flung out her arms to grip what wasn’t there, and began to fall back—

He appeared, laughing, and grabbed her around the waist.

“—can they?” he said.

Agnes couldn’t speak. Her life passing in front of her eyes one way had met it passing in front of her eyes going in the opposite direction, and words would fail her now until she could decide when now was.

“And you haven’t seen anything yet,” said Vlad. Wisps of cloud coiled behind them as he raced forward.

The clouds vanished under Agnes. They might have been as thin as smoke but their presence, their imitation of groundness, had been a comfort. Now they were a departing edge, and far below were the moonlit plains.

“Ghjgh,” gurgled Agnes, too tense and terrified even to scream. Wheee! crowed Perdita, inside.

“See that?” said Vlad, pointing. “See the light all around the Rim?”

Agnes stared, because anything now was better than looking down.

The sun was under the Disc. Around the dark Rim, though, it found its way up through the endless waterfall, creating a glowing band between the nighttime ocean and the stars. It was, indeed, beautiful, but Agnes felt that beauty was even more likely to be in the eye of the beholder if the feet of the beholder were on something solid. At ten thousand feet up, the eye of the beholder tends to water.

Perdita thought it was beautiful. Agnes wondered if, should Agnes end up as a circle of pink splash marks on the rocks, Perdita would still be there.

“Everything you want,” whispered Vlad. “Forever.”

“I want to get down,” said Agnes.

He let go.

There was this about Agnes’s shape. It was a good one for falling. She turned automatically belly down, hair streaming behind her, and floated in the rushing wind.

Oddly enough, the terror had gone. That had been fear of a situation out of her control. Now, arms outspread, skirts whipping her legs, eyes streaming in the freezing air, she could at least see what the future held even if it was not big enough to hold very much.

Perhaps she could hit a snowbank, or deep water—

It might have been worth a try, said Perdita. He doesn’t seem entirely bad.

“Shut up.”

It’d just be nice if you could stop looking as though you were wearing saddlebags under your skirt…

“Shut up.”

And it’d be nice if you didn’t hit the rocks like a balloon full of water…

“Shut up. Anyway, I can see a lake. I think I can sort of angle across toward it.”

At this speed it will be like hitting the ground.

“How do you know that? I don’t know that. So how do you know?”

Everyone knows that.

Vlad appeared alongside Agnes, lounging on the air as though it were a sofa.

“Enjoying it?” he said.

“It’s fine so far,” said Agnes, not looking at him.

She felt him touch her wrist. There was no real sense of pressure, but the fall stopped. She felt as light as the air again.

“Why are you doing this?” she said. “If you’re going to bite me, then get it over with!”

“Oh, but I couldn’t be having with that!”

“You did it to Granny!” said Agnes.

“Yes, when it’s but against someone’s will…well, they end up so…compliant. Little more than thinking food. But someone who embraces the night of their own volition…ah, that’s another thing entirely, my dear Agnes. And you’re far too interesting to be a slave.”

“Tell me,” said Agnes, as a mountaintop floated by, “have you had many girlfriends?”

He shrugged. “One or two. Villages girls. Housemaids.”

“And what happened to them, may I ask?”

“Don’t look at me like that. We still find employment for them in the castle.”

Agnes loathed him. Perdita merely hated him, which is the opposite pole to love and just as attractive.

but Nanny said if the worst came to the worst…and then he’ll trust you…and they’ve already got Granny…

“If I’m a vampire,” she said, “I won’t know good from evil.”

“That’s a bit childish, isn’t it? They’re only ways of looking at the same thing. You don’t always have to do what the rest of the world wants you to do.”

“Are you still toying with her?”

Lacrimosa was walking toward them on the air. Agnes saw the other vampires behind her.

“Bite her or let her go,” the girl went on. “Good grief, she’s so blobby. Come on, Father wants you. They’re heading for our castle. Isn’t that just too stupid?”

“This is my affair, Lacci,” said Vlad.

“Every boy should have a hobby, but…really,” said Lacrimosa, rolling her black-rimmed eyes.

Vlad grinned at Agnes.

“Come with us,” he said.

Granny did say you need to be with the others, Perdita pointed out.

“Yes, but how will I find them when we’re there?” said Agnes aloud.

“Oh, we’ll find them,” said Vlad.

“I meant—”

Do come. We don’t intend to hurt your friends—

“Much,” said Lacrimosa.

“Or…we could leave you here,” said Vlad, smiling.

Agnes looked around. They had touched down on the mountain peak, above the clouds. She felt warm and light, which was wrong. Even on a broomstick she’d never felt like this, she’d always between aware of gravity sucking her down, but with the vampire holding her arm every part of her felt that it could float forever.

Besides, if she didn’t go with them, it was going to be either a very long or an extremely short journey down to the ground.

Besides, she would find the other two, and you couldn’t do that when you were dying in some crevasse somewhere.

Besides, even if he did have small fangs and a terrible taste in waistcoats, Vlad actually seemed attracted to her. It wasn’t even as if she had a very interesting neck.

She made up both minds.

“If you attached a piece of string to her I suppose we could tow her like some sort of balloon,” said Lacrimosa.

Besides, there was always the chance that, at some point, she might find herself in a room with Lacrimosa. When that happened, she wouldn’t need garlic, or a stake, or an ax. Just a little talk about people who were too unpleasant, too malicious, too thin. Just five minutes alone.

And perhaps a pin, said Perdita.

Discworld 23: Carpe Jugulum
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