19

 

February 1884

Jimmy rolled away from her to lie on his back. Amy straightened her drawers and pulled her petticoats and dress down over her knees as well as she could with her hands trembling so violently, then she lay weeping silently, wondering what to do next. Jimmy was still for so long that Amy began to wonder if he had gone to sleep, but at last he stirred and rolled onto his side, raising himself on one elbow to look at her.

‘You have just made me a very happy man, Amy.’ He reached out to stroke her face, and pulled his fingers away wet with tears. ‘What’s wrong, little one? Why are you crying?’

‘We’ve d-done a t-terrible th-thing,’ Amy choked out through her sobs.

‘Terrible? I thought it was rather good myself.’ He gave a low chuckle. Amy was too stunned to cry for a moment, then she was racked with weeping.

‘Oh, sweetheart, I’m sorry.’ Jimmy slipped an arm under her shoulders. ‘I’m so happy that I just didn’t think about how you might be feeling. Come on, sit up and tell me why you think it’s all so terrible.’ He raised her and sat with his arm around her, but when Amy tried to speak all that came out was more sobs.

Jimmy pulled out a handkerchief and wiped her eyes, then held it over her nose. ‘Blow,’ he ordered, and she blew her nose noisily into the handkerchief. ‘There, do you feel a bit better now?’

Amy’s sobs slowly subsided. ‘A little bit. Can I keep the handkerchief?’

‘Only if you promise to give it back later—it’s the one you gave me for Christmas. Now, tell me what’s so bad.’

‘We’ve done that, and we’re not married. Isn’t that wrong?’

‘But we’re going to get married, so it doesn’t really matter.’

‘Doesn’t it?’ Amy asked doubtfully, desperately wanting to believe him.

‘Oh, I admit we’ve put the cart before the horse a bit, but what difference will that make once we’re married? You’re almost my wife already. Now, listen. First thing in the morning I’ll have a talk with your father—’

‘He’ll be really angry with you.’

‘Hey, I’m not going to tell him about that! There wouldn’t be much left for you to marry after he’d finished with me. No, I’m going to ask him for permission to marry his beautiful daughter. How do you think he’ll take it?’

Amy chewed her lip. ‘He won’t be very happy. I’m sure he’ll say I’m too young.’

‘Hmm. Well, I’ll have to talk him round somehow. I don’t think I can wait till he finally notices you’ve grown up.’

‘I’d like to get married soon,’ Amy said. ‘It’d make me feel better about what happened.’

‘Me too. All right then, I’ll ask him first thing tomorrow. Now up you get and I really will take you home.’ He helped her up and placed the cloak over her shoulders. ‘We’d better get moving—if I’m not in bed when John gets back I’ll have some explaining to do.’ He laughed, and Amy smiled with him, though she was still shaken. Jimmy sounded so confident about it all, and he didn’t think they’d done anything wrong. If only Pa says yes, then everything will be all right.

The house was in darkness when they crept up the passage and exchanged a last, brief kiss before going into their separate rooms. Amy undressed and put on her nightdress in the dark, leaving all her clothes piled on a chair rather than making any attempt to put them away. She slipped between the sheets and lay staring towards the invisible ceiling. We’re going to get married, was her thought one moment, and a warm glow crept over her. Then Pa might say no, came the thought, like a hand clutching at her heart. What if he finds out what we did? He mustn’t—he just mustn’t. She tossed and turned as the thoughts chased one another around in her head. She thought she would never get to sleep, but finally she was exhausted enough to drop off.

Amy woke feeling like a wrung-out rag. It took an effort of will to get out of bed rather than roll over and go back to sleep. She stood in the middle of the room in her nightdress, trying to summon the energy to get dressed and start the day. Then she remembered that she wanted her father to be in the best possible mood when Jimmy asked for her hand; that gave her the impetus to hurry. She wanted to have plenty of time to prepare breakfast before her father came in from milking.

When she picked up her silk dress, she saw to her dismay it was badly creased. It even had some grass stains around the hem, where the dress had not been protected by her cloak. Her drawers had a small patch of blood on them, and Amy recalled that sharp pain. She anxiously checked her dress; there was no sign of blood, though one of her petticoats had a few spots.

She shook the dress out, but it was obviously going to need washing. That would mean explaining to Susannah how she had got the dress in such a state; she did not look forward to that conversation. There was no time to worry about it now, however. She hung it in the wardrobe, shoved her soiled underwear in a drawer and hurriedly dressed.

As she brushed her hair, Amy was surprised that the sleepy face staring back at her from the mirror looked the same as ever. She felt so different within herself that she had thought it might show on the outside, too. Her eyes fell on the photograph of her mother. She picked it up and looked at the woman who was almost a stranger. Did you feel like I do, Mama? Did you love Pa like I love Jimmy? I think you must have, you look so happy. I think he still misses you, she realised for the first time, and she felt a pang for her father.

When she had splashed cold water on her face Amy felt more alert, and she hurried out to start preparing the meal. She was already in the kitchen before she remembered that her brooch was still on yesterday’s chemise, tucked into a drawer; she considered going back to put it on before deciding she did not have time.

Breakfast was almost ready by the time Jimmy appeared. She abandoned her frying pans to rush to his arms.

‘How’s my little wife this morning?’ Jimmy said, nuzzling her hair as he spoke.

‘Tired. And I’m not your wife yet,’ she said, trying unsuccessfully to sound stern.

‘Yes you are, as far as I’m concerned. You belong to me now, little one—it’s just a matter of convincing one or two other people.’

‘Pa, you mean.’

‘My father too. He could be even more of a problem, he can be difficult when it suits him. I’ve been thinking about that—’ They were interrupted by the noise of the back door opening, and Amy went to the range just as Jack and his sons came in.

‘Well, lad,’ Jack said in his booming voice, ‘what’s this I hear about what you’ve been doing for my daughter?’

Jimmy glanced from Jack to Amy with a look of terror, which she returned with interest, then he managed to look calm again and spoke to Jack with no more than a quizzical note in his voice. ‘What do you mean, Jack?’

‘These boys of mine have been telling me what happened last night.’

‘Ah, what in particular?’ Jimmy probed cautiously.

‘No need to be modest about it.’ He bore down on Jimmy and raised his arm. Amy cringed until she saw that her father had merely extended his hand to shake Jimmy’s. ‘So one of those Feenans tried to take liberties with my daughter, eh? And you laid him flat on the floor! I wish I’d been there to see it. I wish I’d been there to do it myself, come to that.’ He crossed to Amy and gave her a bear hug. ‘Of course, I might have killed him,’ he said in a conversational tone. ‘Laying a hand on my little girl. I’d have broken his arm, at least—probably both arms.’

‘Pa,’ Amy said weakly, ‘please don’t talk like that, I don’t like it.’

‘All right, sorry girl, didn’t mean to upset you. Anyway, I’m grateful to you, Jimmy.’

‘It was nothing, I just didn’t like to see Amy upset, that’s all.’

Amy distracted them by serving breakfast, but once she had got over the shock of misunderstanding her father’s words she felt a glow of happiness. He was in such a good mood with Jimmy, this morning would be a perfect time to ask him. She caught Jimmy’s eye once or twice during the meal and he smiled back encouragingly.

After they had finished eating, Amy was clearing away the plates when Susannah flung open the door from the passage. They all looked up in surprise, and Amy felt a stab of alarm when she saw that Susannah had the blue dress draped over one arm.

‘What on earth have you done with this?’ Susannah cried. She spread the dress out with a dramatic flourish. ‘Just look at it—creased as if you’d slept in it for a month, and you’ve got stains around the hem. How did you get it in such a state?’

She gave Amy no chance to respond, even if the girl had had an answer, before she turned to Jack. ‘I told you the child was too young for a silk dress—I told you, but you never take any notice of me. No one takes any notice—especially not her.’

‘Calm down, Susannah,’ Jack said, his cheerful smile replaced by a look of weary resignation. Amy felt a surge of anger at Susannah for spoiling her father’s mood.

‘Don’t tell me to calm down. Just look at this dress—she’s worn it once and it’s ruined!’

‘Give it to me!’ Amy snapped, giving in to her anger and snatching the dress away. ‘What right do you have to go poking around in my room?’

‘Do you hear the way she speaks to me?’ Susannah demanded. ‘All I did was go in to see if she’d hung the dress up properly, and I get abused for my trouble! I suppose you’re going to take her part like you always do?’

‘Amy, that’s no way to speak to your ma,’ Jack admonished. ‘Your ma’s got the right to go anywhere she wants in this house, and she was only seeing that you were taking care of your clothes. It looks like you weren’t, either.’

Amy remembered her secret brooch, lying in the drawer where Susannah could have found it if she had decided to explore a little further. ‘Why is she allowed in my room? I don’t want her going in there! It’s my room, isn’t it?’

‘Hey, you settle down, girl—there’s no need for you to carry on like that. You just do as your ma tells you, and keep a civil tongue in your head. What’s got into you this morning?’

‘You’d better get that strap out again,’ Susannah said, her eyes glittering. ‘She’s far too full of herself—it’s because you let her go to that dance—she’s too young for outings like that, as well as too young to have decent clothes.’

Amy was aware of Jimmy looking helplessly from her to Susannah. She felt tears of frustration spilling from her eyes. ‘I’m not! I’m not too young! You say that every time I want anything.’

‘Do I have to put up with this, Jack?’ Susannah demanded. ‘Are you going to make her treat me with respect or not? You’ll have to beat her again.’

‘You leave my sister alone!’ Harry roared, erupting from his chair and startling them all. ‘You nag at her all the time, then you let her do all the work while you sit on your backside.’ Susannah gave a gasp. ‘Don’t you touch her, Pa,’ he warned.

‘Don’t speak to me like that, you young—’

‘What are you going to do about it?’ Harry interrupted.

‘I’ll show you who runs this house.’

‘You’ll have to show us both,’ John said, getting up from his own chair and crossing to stand beside Amy. ‘Don’t touch Amy—she’s put up with enough the last few years.’

Jack looked at his two sons, both of them taller than him and almost thirty years younger, and he seemed to shrink a little before Amy’s eyes. ‘I wasn’t going to hit her,’ he said dully.

‘So she’s allowed to talk to me like that?’ Susannah’s voice rose to a near-shriek.

‘No, she’s not. I think she’ll still do what I say, even if no one else in this house will. Apologise to your ma, Amy.’

‘I’m sorry,’ Amy said, but it was her father’s forgiveness she sought, not Susannah’s. ‘I’m sorry I got the dress dirty, I just—’

‘It’s my fault,’ Jimmy put in, the first time his voice had been heard since the trouble erupted. Amy turned to him in fear. She was quite sure this was the worst possible moment for him to confess.

‘I brought Amy home last night. There was a bit of a fight at the dance—nothing serious, but unpleasant. Amy was very shaken, and I wasn’t looking after her properly—she tripped in a difficult part of the road and I didn’t catch her in time. Don’t be angry with her, Susannah, she’s too young to be blamed.’ He crossed to his sister and put his arm around her shoulder.

‘That’s no excuse for her to talk to me like that,’ Susannah said, her eyes flashing. ‘She’s allowed to say whatever she wants to me, and he,’ she flung out her arm in Harry’s direction, ‘uses language like that to me and his father does nothing.’

Susannah’s fury abruptly subsided into weeping, and she collapsed into Jimmy’s arms. ‘Now do you see what I have to put up with? They all hate me—none of them want me here—his children hated me from the day I arrived, and he always sides with them against me.’

‘Shh,’ Jimmy said, patting her gently on the back as she sobbed against him. ‘Don’t talk like that, Susannah, you’ll make yourself ill. How could anyone possibly hate you? You’re tired and upset—you need a nice rest and something to cheer you up. Why don’t you and I go somewhere quiet and have a talk, and maybe we can think of something you’d like to do today? Shall we do that?’

‘Yes,’ Susannah said, her voice muffled against Jimmy’s neck.

‘Is that all right with you, Jack?’ Jimmy asked.

‘I’d take it as a kindness, lad,’ Jack said, sounding wearier than Amy had ever heard him before. Jimmy led Susannah out of the room, and the rest of them stood in silence, avoiding one another’s eyes.

Amy made herself go over to her father. She put her hand on his sleeve. ‘I’m sorry about all that trouble, Pa, I really am.’ Her father patted her hand absently, then walked out of the house without so much as a glance at his sons.

‘Thank you for sticking up for me,’ Amy said, turning to John and Harry. ‘We’ve upset Pa, though.’

‘Too bad,’ Harry said, but Amy thought both her brothers looked shaken. ‘If he wants to let that bitch boss him around it’s his business, but he needn’t think she’s going to tell the rest of us what to do.’

‘I think maybe you two should leave him alone for a while,’ Amy said.

‘Mmm, you’re right,’ said John. ‘C’mon, Harry, let’s get out of here before Her Ladyship comes back.’

Amy found herself alone in the room. The kitchen seemed strangely quiet after the uproar. She wiped away the last traces of her tears and started on the dishes, puzzling over how the day could have gone so wrong so suddenly. Now he won’t be able to talk to Pa this morning, she fretted. I don’t think Pa would even listen just now—if he did listen he’d go crook. And now Jimmy’s gone off to look after her. She sighed deeply. It seemed Susannah was always involved whenever there was trouble in the family. But I wouldn’t have Jimmy if it wasn’t for Susannah. Why does it all have to be so complicated?

Jimmy slipped out half an hour later, when Amy was part-way through making a batch of scones. He had changed into one of his suits, and Amy thought he looked wonderful. It made her very aware of her dowdy brown holland dress. ‘I’ve settled her down—it wasn’t easy. I’m going to take her visiting, so that’s my morning written off.’ He rolled his eyes melodramatically. ‘She certainly gets in a state, doesn’t she?’

‘Yes. Especially when I do something to annoy her—and I’m always annoying her somehow. I honestly don’t mean to, Jimmy, but everything I say makes her angry. And then Pa looks so miserable when she gets upset.’

‘I’m afraid my sister is the sort of person who wants everyone to suffer with her. I can understand why your father looks worn out.’ He planted a quick kiss on Amy’s forehead; she had to resist the urge to hug him with her doughy hands. ‘Susannah’s getting ready now. I hope we’ll have a chance to talk later, it depends how much visiting Susannah wants to do. You understand why I won’t be able to talk to your father for a while—maybe not today?’

‘Oh, yes—it would be silly for you to even try.’

‘Right now your father’s probably wishing he’d never even heard of my family. We’ll just have to wait for a better time.’

Susannah came back out to the kitchen, resplendent in green flowered silk. Little George, enveloped in a flannel gown, looked incongruous in her arms. She ignored Amy’s presence and spoke to Jimmy. ‘I’ve a letter to Mother to post, we can go to the Post and Telegraph first. Do you want to write a few lines before I put it in the envelope?’

‘No, I won’t bother. I’m sure you’ve told her all the news.’

‘Really, James, Mother would love a note in your hand.’

‘Would she? Oh, you know how I hate writing letters, that’s why I never do it. I never know what to say in them, anyway.’

‘Yes, you’ve never written to me in all the time I’ve lived here.’ She sighed. ‘Ah, well, I suppose most men aren’t much use at writing. I’ll tell Mother you send your love.’ The baby in her arms reached up to tug at Susannah’s hair; she tilted her head out of his reach. ‘I’m not sure whether to take George with us or not, it depends how long we’re going to be.’

‘Bring him,’ Jimmy said decisively. ‘Then we can stay away as long as you like, and you won’t have to worry about rushing home. He’s such a handsome little fellow, too, you must enjoy showing him off.’

‘I suppose I do, a little bit. Not that we do much visiting. I would’ve rather had a girl this time, though.’

‘There’s not much difference at that age, before they’re in trousers. Tom and George could both be little girls, really. Look at George with those big blue eyes and all that hair. You’d better bring him, Susannah.’

‘All right, I’ll put a pretty gown on him. She can look after Thomas and give me a rest for once. Come with me, James, while I get them both dressed.’ Jimmy raised his eyebrows to Amy behind his sister’s back, but he said nothing as he followed Susannah from the room.

Left to herself again, Amy divided her time between housework and entertaining the lively eighteen-month-old Thomas, until she was interrupted by the back door being flung open to admit Lizzie. Amy could not recall ever before having been reluctant to see her cousin.

‘How are you?’ Lizzie demanded, advancing on Amy.

‘I’m fine,’ Amy said, annoyed at the defensive note in her voice. ‘Why shouldn’t I be?’

‘Did you get home all right last night?’

‘I’m standing here, aren’t I? You can see I got home.’

‘You didn’t have any trouble?’

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about, Lizzie.’ Amy was aware of the pitch of her voice rising. She made an effort to speak more calmly. ‘All I did was walk home from the school to here, what could happen?’

‘All right, there’s no need to bite my head off. I was worried about you, that’s all. John shouldn’t have let Jimmy take you home by yourselves.’ She peered closely at Amy. ‘You’re sure you’re all right?’

‘I’ve already said I am.’

‘You look sort of… muddled.’

Amy sighed. ‘We had a big row this morning.’

‘You and Jimmy? What was it about?’ Lizzie’s eyes widened. ‘Was it something he tried to do last night?’

‘No, not Jimmy! He was the only one not fighting. It was all the rest of us—it was a terrible row, Lizzie.’

That distracted her cousin. ‘What was it about?’ Lizzie asked, looking eager.

Amy hesitated, as reluctant to explain to Lizzie how her dress had got soiled as she had been to Susannah. ‘Oh, it was just Susannah getting annoyed with me. She really upset me, and I shouted at her. Then she wanted Pa to beat me, and Harry and John said they wouldn’t let him, so they had a row with Pa, then Susannah had a row with Pa… it was awful.’

‘Gosh! What did Uncle Jack do? He didn’t beat you, did he?’

‘No, of course he didn’t. You know Pa never beats me.’ Except that once. That wasn’t a real beating, though. ‘He just sort of looked confused, then he wandered off by himself. Poor Pa, I think he felt everyone was against him.’ She sighed. ‘I’d better make something he specially likes for lunch.’

‘Well, if you’re really sure you’re all right—now, don’t snap at me, I won’t talk about it any more. I want to tell you what happened to me.’ Lizzie gave a broad grin. ‘Frank kissed me!’

‘Did he? That’s good, you wanted him to,’ Amy said distractedly, pulling Thomas away from the flour bin he was about to put his face in.

‘Yes. He kissed me three times, the first wasn’t very long, then the next one didn’t really work properly, but the third one—’

‘Lizzie, I don’t think I want to hear every little detail of what Frank does to you,’ Amy cut in, remembering again vividly everything that had happened with Jimmy under the stars. ‘I hope you’re not going to tell me every time he touches you.’

‘Well, I do beg your pardon!’ Lizzie said haughtily. ‘I thought you’d be interested, that’s all. Of course you’re such an expert, aren’t you? I shan’t tell you when we get engaged if it’s all so boring. I suppose I’d better go home if I’m annoying you.’

‘Oh, don’t be like that, Lizzie. I just don’t like hearing all those personal things—I think you should keep it a secret, just between you and Frank.’

‘Like you do? We never used to have secrets, Amy.’

Amy picked up Thomas and carried him to the other side of the kitchen, using him as an excuse to avoid meeting Lizzie’s eyes. ‘I suppose it’s just something that happens when you grow up… when you fall in love,’ she added quietly, her back to Lizzie.

‘Love? Are you in love?’

Amy turned to face her. ‘Yes. I love him, and he loves me. And that’s all I’m going to tell you, Lizzie, so it’s no use prying.’

‘Suit yourself. I’ll go home, then.’

‘Don’t go off in a huff, Lizzie.’

‘I’m not in a huff.’ Lizzie dropped her haughty manner. ‘No, I should go home really, I’m meant to be helping Ma. I just came over because I was worried about you, but you say you’re all right. I suppose I’ll see you tomorrow.’ She opened the door, but when she was half-way through it she turned to face Amy once more. ‘Amy, you will tell me if anything happens, won’t you?’

‘What are you talking about now?’

‘I don’t really know. I suppose I mean… oh, I don’t know, if anything horrible happens and you’re worried about it. Promise you’ll tell me?’

‘Nothing horrible’s going to happen.’

‘But if it does,’ Lizzie pressed her. ‘Promise me.’

‘No, I won’t promise. Do stop going on, Lizzie. If you’re going home, get on with it.’

Lizzie gave her a last searching look. ‘All right.’ She pulled the door closed after her.

Susannah and Jimmy had not returned by lunch-time, and Amy dished up the meal to an unnaturally quiet roomful of men. She was grateful for the distraction Thomas provided as she cut up his food and helped him spoon it messily into his mouth. Jack took the little boy onto his lap and let him help himself to handfuls of pudding from Jack’s own bowl, something Susannah did not allow. Thomas’s frock got steadily grubbier, and the white tablecloth acquired sticky blotches of Jack’s favourite caramel pudding during the exercise, but it was worth it to Amy to see her father smiling at his little son instead of glowering at his grown ones.

It was mid-afternoon, and Amy had put Thomas to bed for his afternoon nap, when she heard the buggy rattle up the road. When Susannah came into the room ahead of Jimmy, Amy could see that her stepmother was in an animated mood. She hoped that meant the family would have a peaceful evening. Perhaps Jimmy would be able to talk to her father the next morning if there were no more fights.

‘That was a lovely outing,’ Susannah said. ‘Mrs Leveston is quite a charming woman, really. I’ll put George down for his sleep. I suppose he’ll need changing again,’ she said, wrinkling her nose in distaste.

‘Can I do that for you?’ Amy asked, eager to prolong Susannah’s good mood.

‘I’m quite capable of looking after my own son,’ Susannah said, barely glancing at Amy. ‘You get on with whatever you’re doing.’ She sailed out of the room.

‘ “Whatever you’re doing” is making dinner for us all, I see,’ Jimmy said. ‘The outing’s cheered her up, but it hasn’t made her any more polite to you.’

‘I’ve given up hoping for that,’ said Amy. ‘You’ve been out an awfully long time.’

‘I know! I had trouble keeping awake, I don’t mind telling you. Mrs Leveston’s husband was out when we called, so I sat in her drawing room drinking tea from ridiculous little cups and looking at my hands while she and Susannah talked as though they were both taking a vow of silence tomorrow—now there’s a good idea,’ he said, looking so serious that for a moment Amy almost believed him. ‘I wonder if Susannah’s ever considered joining a silent order of nuns.’ He gave her his infectious grin, and Amy giggled.

‘Isn’t their house lovely, though,’ she said, remembering the treasures in Mrs Leveston’s drawing room. ‘All those beautiful things.’

‘The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen was right here, and I thought about you all the long, weary day.’ He looked over his shoulder, then gave Amy a quick kiss. ‘We were asked to stay for lunch, Mr Leveston came home in time for that, and afterwards I had to walk around the grounds with him and hear his opinions—he’s got one on every subject. “A magistrate is a father figure to the community, my boy,” ’ Jimmy said in an imitation of Mr Leveston’s pompous tone. ‘ “It is a great responsibility, but also a great privilege.” ’ Jimmy gave a groan, then laughed, and Amy laughed with him.

‘What a terrible day you’ve had,’ she sympathised.

‘It’s certainly been a long one. Still, at least Susannah was sweet-tempered all the way back. She didn’t go on about how much she hates it here like she did on the way into town.’

‘Did she talk about me on the way in?’

‘Well, yes, she did. I think you’re better off not hearing the details, though. I wish I hadn’t. Now, let’s talk about us for a minute—’

‘What are you talking to her about?’ Susannah asked from the doorway, making them both jump.

‘I was just telling Amy what a nice day we’ve had,’ Jimmy said. Amy was amazed at how smoothly he covered his confusion. ‘I’d better get changed, they’ll be getting the cows in soon.’

‘You don’t have to help with that. Sit out here with me while I get dinner on.’

‘No, I’d better earn my keep. You know, Susannah, you look rather worn out after all the excitement we’ve had today. Why don’t you have a lie-down? I’ll bring you a cup of tea, if you like. You shouldn’t have to cook all the time. Here, take my arm.’

‘You’re so thoughtful, James. Perhaps I will have a rest, and a cup of tea would be very nice.’ She smiled at her brother as they went out into the passage together, and Amy went to put the kettle on.

Jimmy came out a few minutes later in his working clothes to collect Susannah’s cup. ‘I’m sorry I’ve made you cook dinner by yourself, but I wanted to get her out of the way for a while.’

‘Oh, I don’t mind—I’d much rather do it by myself than help Susannah,’ Amy assured him. He smiled, kissed her, and took the cup away.

‘There, that’s her settled for a bit,’ Jimmy said when he came out once more. ‘Lying in state against a heap of pillows, looking pale but not very interesting. Now, how about we go for a little walk before I go off to help milk those cows?’

‘I’d love to, Jimmy, I’ve missed you all day, but I can’t really leave all this,’ Amy said, pointing at the stew-pot she was filling. ‘Couldn’t we just talk here for a bit till you have to go?’

‘Well, all right then. Susannah’s at the other end of the house, so she won’t hear unless we shout at each other.’ He moved to stand close to Amy as she worked. ‘I’ve had a lot of time to think today—there certainly hasn’t been anything else very interesting to do. Amy, what do you think your father’s going to say when I ask if I can marry you?’

‘He’ll say I’m too young,’ Amy said with conviction.

‘Yes, I’m sure he will, but that’s not so bad. I’ve heard of girls getting married at fifteen, we’d be able to talk him round on that, though he might say we have to wait a while. No, as soon as he gets over my cheek for wanting to marry you, he’s going to say, “How are you going to provide for her?” ’

‘Oh. Yes, I suppose he will.’

‘I’m sure of it. And what am I going to say? “Well, I sort of work for my father, except I had a row with him before I came down here, and he gives me my keep and a small allowance”? I don’t really see your father giving his precious daughter to someone with those prospects.’

‘But he’s got to say yes!’ Amy said, turning to him in alarm and forgetting about the carrots she was slicing.

‘Hey, stop waving that knife around! You don’t need to threaten me—I want to marry you. It’s your father who needs convincing.’

‘I’m sorry.’ She put the knife down carefully. ‘What can we do to make him let us? Will we have to tell him what we did last night? I’m sure he’d want us to get married if he knew about that.’

‘I expect he would, and you’d get to watch him break both my arms first—those brothers of yours would join in, too, they’re both very fond of you. You don’t really want that, do you?’

‘Of course I don’t. What are we going to do, then?’

‘I think I should get things straight with my father first. I’ve got to have his permission to get married, anyway, I won’t be twenty-one for months. If I can talk him into paying me a proper salary, that might be enough to set your father’s mind at rest.’

‘Do you think your father will agree?’

‘Well, he must know he’s got to start paying me one day, especially once I’ve got a wife to support. He’s a bit of a tyrant sometimes, but most of the time he’s not as bad as all that.’

Another thought struck Amy. ‘If you’ve got to talk to your father, does that mean you’re going away? I’ll miss you if you do.’

‘I hope not. I was thinking I might write to him and explain everything—well, not everything,’ he amended with a smile. ‘He’d probably disapprove of last night. Why are fathers so difficult, Amy?’

‘Pa’s not difficult, he just thinks I’m still a baby. I suppose that does make him a bit difficult. When are you going to write to your father?’

‘As soon as I get the chance. Maybe tomorrow. Then I’ll have to get the letter into town and on the boat without Susannah noticing what I’m up to, she knows I never write to anyone. I’ll have to try and do that this week.’

‘Then we’ll have to wait for your father to reply. Oh, it’s all going to take such a long time! I wish we could get married soon. I wish we were married already.’

‘So do I, sweetheart,’ Jimmy said, giving her one last kiss before he went outside.