14

 

December 1883

Amy barely spoke to Jimmy the rest of that day. She was busy with her own work in the house, while he helped around the farm, spending most of the day outside. He glanced at her from time to time during lunch and dinner, apparently noticing her silence, but she avoided his eyes.

Susannah spoke enough to cover any lack of words on Amy’s part. As soon as dinner was over she and Jimmy set off for the promised walk. Just as he reached the kitchen door, Jimmy turned and looked across the room at Amy with a questioning gaze. She dropped her eyes quickly and stared in apparent fascination at the dirty dishes she was stacking until she heard the door close.

Jimmy came out when Amy was alone in the kitchen on Saturday morning. She made a show of busyness as she prepared breakfast. ‘Can I help you with anything?’ he asked.

‘No, thank you,’ Amy said shortly. ‘I’ll get it done faster by myself.’

‘Oh. Well, if I’m in your way I’d better leave you alone.’ He sounded hurt, and Amy turned to apologise, but he was out the door before she had the chance to say anything.

I hope I’m not being rude now, she fretted. It was so hard to know what was the right way to behave. Still, at least no one could accuse her of being ‘forward’.

Amy again sat at Jimmy’s right hand at church that Sunday; it would be too obvious a snub if she avoided sitting beside him. She was also very aware of Lizzie watching them, and she didn’t want to have to answer a lot of silly questions about whether she and Jimmy had ‘fallen out’. Besides, she had to admit to herself that she enjoyed sitting next to Jimmy, even if she couldn’t talk to him anymore.

After church she stood at a small distance from the circle around Jack, Susannah and Jimmy. She smiled as she watched Lizzie walk with Frank to the horse paddock, then Lizzie walked up to her grinning broadly.

‘Did you see the way Frank waited for me?’ Lizzie said. ‘He takes it for granted now that I’ll walk over there with him.’ She turned and waved to Frank as he rode off.

‘Mmm,’ said Amy. ‘Have you been for any more romantic walks down to the pig sty?’

‘I’d hit you if it wasn’t Sunday—I might anyway.’ Lizzie gave the lie to her words by taking Amy’s arm as they strolled back towards their families. ‘How are you getting on with Jimmy?’

‘Just fine,’ Amy said in what she hoped was a casual manner. ‘He’s a very pleasant person to have around.’

‘Oh. I thought you were a bit keen on him.’

‘Of course I’m not! We’re just friendly, that’s all. I’m not very interested in men, you know that.’

‘That’s all right, then. I don’t want you getting keen on someone from the city.’ Having dismissed Jimmy, she went on. ‘Hey, what do you think I should wear to the Christmas do? Ma’s helping me make a new dress, but I don’t know whether to save it for the hay dance or not. What do you think?’

I’m not keen on him—not like Lizzie means, anyway. I just enjoy talking to him, and he’s nice to me. That’s all.

‘Amy? Are you listening to me?’

‘What?’ Amy said, startled out of her thoughts.

‘Should I wear the new dress or not?’

‘Oh. What new dress?’

‘You’re not taking the least bit of notice of me, are you? Aren’t you interested?’

‘I’m sorry, Lizzie, I was thinking about something else for a minute. Tell me again? Please?’

Lizzie did not need much persuading, and the girls were soon too deep in discussing the pros and cons of Lizzie’s new dress for Lizzie to wonder about Amy’s lapse of attention.

 

*

 

Jimmy slept in even later than usual the next day, and the men had come back from milking before he appeared. That’s good, Amy told herself. I won’t have to worry about whether I’m being rude or forward or anything. But the kitchen seemed lonely rather than peaceful without Jimmy to laugh and joke with.

Amy was filling the copper for the weekly wash, lost in her thoughts as she tipped in a bucketful of water, when Jimmy spoke behind her.

‘Amy?’

‘Oh! You made me jump—I nearly dropped the bucket.’

‘I’m sorry. Put that bucket down for a minute, I want to talk to you.’ He took the bucket out of her hand as she made no move to obey him. ‘Have you been avoiding me?’

‘Of course I haven’t. I’m just busy all the time, that’s all. Give me back my bucket, please.’

‘No.’

‘Please, Jimmy. I’ve got to get this washing started, there’s an awful lot of it.’

‘Even more now I’m here. I’ll carry the bucket for you, then you’ll have to talk to me. Where do you get the water from?’

Amy led him over to the rainwater tank, but she said nothing as he filled the bucket, carried it back and emptied it into the copper. Jimmy stood back from the tubs, put the bucket on the ground and studied her. ‘What’s wrong, Amy? Have I upset you? I can’t make it up to you if I don’t know what I’ve done.’

‘You haven’t done anything, it’s just… well, I don’t want to take up all your time. It’s Susannah you’ve really come to see, not me. Anyway, I don’t want you to think…’ She trailed off into an awkward silence.

‘Don’t want me to think what?’ Amy stared at the ground. ‘Come on, Amy, you have to tell me. What don’t you want me to think?’ He put his hands on her shoulders, and she reluctantly tilted her face up to look at his.

‘I don’t want you to think I’m forward,’ she said in a voice little above a whisper. ‘But I don’t really know what that means.’ She felt tears pricking at her eyes. She twisted out of Jimmy’s hands and turned away from him.

There was a moment’s silence. ‘Susannah’s been talking to you, hasn’t she?’ said Jimmy. ‘That’s what’s brought this on.’

‘No, she hasn’t—honestly she hasn’t. But I’m sure there’s lots of things you’d like to be doing, you’d better go now.’

She kept her face turned away until she was sure he had gone. A little later she heard a horse whinnying, and she looked up to see Jimmy riding off down the road. Amy wondered where he was going, but Susannah joined her at the tubs soon afterwards with Thomas at her heels, and after that the washing took all Amy’s attention.

 

*

 

Amy rose early for her Tuesday morning butter making. She made breakfast and left the bacon and eggs to keep warm, then went out to the dairy. Something told her she would have it to herself that morning. It seemed terribly quiet in the cool room, despite the noise of the churn turning over and over.

When she got back to the house she saw that Jimmy’s boots had disappeared from the porch. He must be with her father and brothers somewhere on the farm; he was, after all, meant to be earning his keep.

There were four dirty plates on the table to show where the men had been. Amy ate her own breakfast alone, then went to change her buttermilk-splashed pinafore for a fresh one before starting on the ironing.

She stepped into her bedroom and immediately felt something was strange. Looking about for the reason, she saw a length of velvet ribbon in a rich, deep shade of blue coiled on her pillow. She rushed across to her bed and picked up the beautiful thing, then ran it through her fingers, feeling its softness. That’s what he went to town for! To buy me a present. He doesn’t think I’m forward at all—he likes me! She rubbed the ribbon against her cheek, then quickly pulled it away before any of the tears she could feel spilling out of her eyes could fall on it.

Amy spent the rest of that day alternately basking in the warm glow of Jimmy’s kindness and fretting over how she could show she appreciated it. It would be too much of a risk to wear the velvet ribbon when she and Susannah were going to spend the whole day ironing, flung together more closely than on any other day of the week. But she saw Jimmy look at her when the men came home for lunch, and the disappointment in his face sent a pang through her.

By the time dinner was ready she decided she would have to hazard Susannah’s sharp eyes, and she slipped off to her room to tie the ribbon around her hair. They had barely sat down to the table when Susannah glanced at Amy and said with a slight frown, ‘Where did you get that ribbon, Amy? I don’t remember seeing it before.’

‘It was a present,’ Amy said, hoping that would be enough to satisfy Susannah’s curiosity.

‘A present? Who from? Oh, that girl, I suppose.’ Susannah’s lips compressed into a disapproving line. ‘It’s a little fancy for the dinner table,’ she added, but said no more on the subject.

Amy breathed a sigh of relief, and risked a peek at Jimmy. He was looking back at her with a tiny smile playing on his lips, and Amy decided it had been worth the risk. But after dinner she put the ribbon away safely in her top drawer with her underwear.

To her delight, Jimmy came out next morning in time for them to breakfast together. ‘Thank you for that lovely present,’ she said, looking up from setting out their plates. ‘It’s the most beautiful ribbon I’ve ever had.’

‘Then it suits you, because I think you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever met.’ Amy was too flustered at such an extravagant compliment to be able to speak. ‘Have you got those silly ideas out of your head?’ Jimmy asked. ‘All that nonsense about being too forward?’

‘I think so.’ She smiled shyly at him.

‘Good.’ Jimmy reached across the table and put his hand over hers. ‘You’re natural and unspoiled, Amy, not full of a lot of false airs. That doesn’t make you forward—it makes you charming.’ He gave her hand a gentle squeeze, and Amy felt a strange, quivery sensation. She wondered if she should pull her hand away, but the feeling of Jimmy’s on hers was so nice that she left it where it was. A few moments later the back door opened, and they quickly let go of each other’s hands.

 

*

 

The Saturday before Christmas saw the nearby families gathered for a party in Aitken’s barn, just outside the valley. It was a casual affair; the men wore their Sunday-best suits, but left the jackets undone, and the women wore pretty but plain dresses, generally of cotton, with simple bonnets. After much soul-searching, Lizzie had decided to save her new dress for the hay dance. Susannah was the only one in silk, but it was the plainest of all her silk gowns, grey with cream lace at the cuffs.

The party soon divided into distinct groups. The young children (apart from baby George, who at four months old was too small to be abandoned to the toddlers) played in a corner of the barn, getting steadily grubbier as the evening wore on but ignored by their mothers except when squabbles broke out. The women divided their time between bringing plates of food from the kitchen and sitting on the chairs Matt Aitken had carried out for them, taking turns at holding little George and talking rapidly all the while. Their husbands discussed the hardships of farming with mournful pleasure, while the young people found the corner remotest from all the other groups to enjoy each other’s company. Thirteen-year-old Alf wandered somewhat morosely between his father’s group and his older brother’s, feeling out of place in both, but reluctant to miss anything.

Frank arrived a little after the two Leith families. He stood twisting his hat between his hands and looking about uncertainly, trying to decide whether he belonged in the farmers’ group or the young people’s, till Bill, after a nudge from Lizzie, good-naturedly put him out of his misery by calling him over. They all chattered away happily, even Frank losing his shyness with so many friendly faces around him. Amy was pleased to see how well Jimmy fitted in, despite being the only stranger there. He seemed interested in everything and everyone.

‘You live alone, do you, Frank?’ Jimmy asked.

‘Just me and Ben—that’s my brother. He’s not much on company, that’s why he’s not here tonight.’

‘Two bachelors, eh?’ Jimmy said, a twinkle in his eye. ‘You want to watch out, Frank—you’d be a good catch for someone.’

Frank scuffed his feet in the thick layer of dust that covered the floor, and carefully avoided Lizzie’s eyes. Jimmy turned his smile on Lizzie, but she gave him a rather cold look in return. Jimmy raised his eyebrows at Amy, then dropped his arm across Frank’s shoulders. ‘Come on, Frank, let’s fetch the young ladies a drink.’ They set off to the table where large bottles of lemonade and ginger beer stood, with Harry walking beside them.

Amy pulled Lizzie a little to one side, out of John’s and Bill’s hearing. ‘What did you scowl at Jimmy like that for?’ she asked indignantly.

‘He’s got no right to make fun of Frank.’

‘But Lizzie, everyone makes fun of Frank. Anyway, all he said was Frank’d be a good catch, and that’s what you think too.’

‘I don’t say it to his face, do I? And people shouldn’t make fun of Frank, it embarrasses him. Especially not strangers. He likes himself, that one—picking on Frank just because he’s quiet.’

‘Jimmy’s not a stranger, he’s family, sort of. And I don’t think he said anything so terrible. Don’t be so grumpy, and don’t talk about Jimmy like that.’

‘I thought you didn’t like him,’ Lizzie said, her eyes narrowing.

‘I didn’t say that! We’re friends, I told you that.’

‘Suit yourself,’ Lizzie said haughtily. She turned a glowing smile on Frank as he and Jimmy returned with their drinks.

‘Who’s that?’ Jimmy murmured in Amy’s ear. She glanced over to see Charlie Stewart trudging towards the group of farmers.

‘That’s Mr Stewart, from the farm next to ours. He just turns up for the free beer—that’s what Pa says, anyway,’ Amy replied softly. ‘He’s not very friendly the rest of the time.’

As if to vindicate her, Charlie soon picked up a mug and approached the beer barrel. When he walked back with his full mug he gave the laughing group of youngsters a baleful stare. Amy shivered a little, despite the warmth of the night.

‘I don’t think he approves of frivolity, do you?’ Jimmy said to the group, grinning.

‘Nah, just serious drinking,’ Harry replied, and they all laughed.

‘You’ll be around when the haymaking starts, won’t you Frank?’ Jimmy asked.

‘Oh, yes, we always do that together. We usually start up at Lizzie’s… I mean Arthur Leith’s place, then work our way down the valley.’

‘That’s good,’ said Jimmy. ‘Maybe you’ll show me the ropes? You must be a real expert, having your own place. I’m going to be pretty hopeless, I’m afraid.’ He smiled ruefully.

‘Yes, no trouble—I’d be glad to. There’s nothing to it, really.’ Frank looked bemused at being considered an expert.

The party broke up around nine o’clock. Horses were saddled up or harnessed, sleepy children bundled into buggies and carts, and the guests set off for home in the moonlight. Amy sat beside her father, with Jimmy once again behind her and next to Susannah. Thomas snuggled in Amy’s lap, while Susannah held George.

Both children were asleep within minutes of leaving the barn, rocked by the motion, but as soon as they drew up to the buggy shed George woke and became fractious. Susannah carried him off to the house, Jack following soon afterwards with Thomas in his arms.

Amy hung back while Jimmy exchanged a few words with her brothers, who assured him they did not need his help dealing with the horses. She and Jimmy walked towards the house as slowly as they could, talking in low voices.

‘I don’t think your cousin likes me very much,’ Jimmy said. ‘That was quite a look she gave me tonight!’

‘Take no notice of Lizzie—she’s always been a sort of mother hen to me, and now she’s getting the same way with Frank. She doesn’t like to see anyone upset him, that’s all. You and Frank seemed to get on all right after that.’

‘Mmm, he seems a decent sort of fellow, even if he hasn’t got much to say for himself. I must say I’ve always thought blushing suited pretty girls better than grown men, but I’m sure he has a heart of gold. He and Lizzie will make a fine match.’

‘They will if Lizzie has any say in it!’

‘From what I’ve seen of Lizzie so far, she’ll have a big say in it.’ A morepork, the small native owl, hooted softly from the trees; Jimmy looked around, then moved closer to Amy. ‘Susannah seemed to have quite a good time tonight—and she gave me a bit of peace for a change.’

‘That’s why Pa said you could come down this summer, you know, so you could cheer Susannah up a bit. I’m taking up a lot of your time now, I hope she won’t get too upset about it.’

‘Now don’t start that again, Amy—I’m allowed to enjoy myself while I’m here as well as wait on Susannah, aren’t I?’

‘Of course you are.’ She smiled up at him. Under cover of the dim night he took her hand and held it until they had reached the house.

 

*

 

Christmas Day fell on a Tuesday, which Amy knew would throw the rest of the week into disarray with ironing moved one day out of place. She finished making her presents very early on Christmas morning by lamplight, since Monday had been devoted to washing and sewing was, of course, forbidden on Sunday. The purse she was making for Susannah had taken the most time, but she was determined to give Susannah something beautiful.

After the service, which saw the little church full to overflowing, the family returned home to a large meal. They lingered over their roast lamb and vegetables, followed by hot plum pudding with cream, until well into the afternoon, when the heat of the kitchen drove them out to the verandah to drink tea. Susannah went off to the bedroom to settle Thomas for his afternoon sleep and to feed George before putting him back in his cradle. She returned with a long, thin package wrapped in tissue paper.

‘Here’s your present, dear,’ she said, passing the package to Amy before taking her seat again. ‘It’s from your father and I.’

‘Your ma chose it, though—it was her idea,’ Jack put in.

‘Thank you.’ Amy smiled at them both, and wondered what it might be. The previous year they had given her some coral beads, the sort little girls wore, and to add injury to insult the string was too short to go around her neck comfortably. The beads had lain discarded in the back of a drawer ever since. She hoped she would not have to make too much of a show of pleasure this year.

She gave a gasp as she opened the parcel. ‘A parasol! It’s beautiful—I’ve never had such a lovely thing!’ She carefully opened out the parasol, running her fingers along the handle from the mother-of-pearl hook all the way up the smooth wooden stick. The cloth was cream satin, with bands of pale lemon silk and a fringe of the same lemon colour. Amy twirled the parasol, making the fringe fly out prettily, then she placed it reverently on her chair, impulsively rushed over to Susannah and flung her arms around her stepmother’s neck. ‘Thank you,’ she said, planting a kiss on Susannah’s cheek. She stood back, suddenly shy.

‘I… I’m glad you like it.’ Susannah looked a little dazed. She recovered herself and added in something closer to her usual tone, ‘I like you to look smart when you come out with us—it reflects on me when you’re untidy.’

Jack beamed at them both. ‘That was a good present you picked, Susannah,’ he said, and Amy embraced him, too.

She darted off to her bedroom to fetch her gifts for the others. ‘They’re nothing much, just things I made myself.’ She handed small parcels to the men first; they opened them to reveal handkerchiefs she had made from fine cotton, each with the initial of the recipient embroidered in one corner. ‘So many “Js”,’—you nearly got a “J” too, Harry, I realised just in time.’ Then she handed Susannah her package. ‘I hope you like it,’ she said anxiously.

Susannah gave a smile that didn’t reach her eyes, then opened the parcel. ‘Oh,’ she said in surprise. She carefully lifted the purse from its wrapping. It was of bronze satin (scraps Amy had begged from one of Edie’s dresses, though she had no intention of telling Susannah that), and Amy had used soft-coloured silk threads to embroider delicate leafy stems twining around tiny flowers. She had made a carrying band for the purse out of mauve ribbon left over from a bonnet she had helped Lizzie alter. ‘Oh, Amy, this is really rather nice. And you made it yourself? It must have taken you a long time. Thank you, dear.’ Susannah offered Amy her cheek, and Amy brushed her own against it.

Jimmy produced a pair of gloves for Susannah, bought in Auckland before he left, which she exclaimed over delightedly. He turned to Amy. ‘I… ah… I haven’t got you a real present, Amy. I thought you might like these, though.’ He handed her a small tin of toffees.

‘Oh,’ Amy said, trying unsuccessfully to look pleased. ‘Thank you, I’m sure they’ll be very nice.’ She sat silent while the others chatted around her, then excused herself as soon as she politely could and went off to her room, where she sat on her bed. Lollies—just as though I’m a baby. He does think I’m just a little girl. I thought he liked me. He even held my hand. He must have thought I needed minding, like a baby.

There was a soft tap on her door; she looked up to see Jimmy standing in the doorway. He put his finger to his lips and beckoned her. ‘Do you want something?’ she asked, her voice cool.

‘Yes,’ he said quietly. ‘Come for a walk with me.’

‘No, thank you. I don’t want to.’

‘Come on, Amy, don’t be difficult. Susannah wanted to come with me, and I had to make her think I was just going out to… you know. If she hears us talking she’ll make a fuss.’

Amy was too used to doing what she was told to argue. She went with Jimmy down the passage and through the kitchen to the back door.

She was determined to be aloof. When Jimmy made to help her climb down from the first fence she pushed his hands away. They walked side-by-side in silence until they were around the hill and out of sight of the house. Jimmy stopped abruptly and stepped in front of her. Amy looked at the ground until he put his hand on her chin and forced her to look up into his face.

‘I’ve hurt you, haven’t I? I’m sorry, little one—I should have warned you, but I didn’t think of it in time. Don’t you see—I couldn’t give you something special in front of everyone.’ He grinned at her. ‘Your father and Susannah think you’re too young for men—I don’t think it’s the right time to let them know they’re wrong, so I’ve got to pretend I haven’t noticed you’ve…’ his eyes flicked to her chest briefly, then returned to her face ‘grown up… either. But I have.’ His smile was replaced for a moment by a more earnest expression that sent a shiver through Amy.

Jimmy took hold of her hand, then reached into his pocket with his free hand and pulled out a small box. He placed it on Amy’s palm and closed her fingers around it. ‘How could you think I wouldn’t have a real present for you?’ he said, the slightest hint of reproach in his voice.

‘I… I’m sorry, I was silly and thoughtless.’

‘No, you weren’t. You’re never thoughtless. Aren’t you going to see what’s in it?’ He let go of her hand.

Amy lifted the lid of the box. Lying on a bed of white velvet was a gold brooch in the shape of a letter ‘A’. She touched it in disbelief, and looked up at Jimmy with wide eyes. ‘For me? It’s gold! I’ve never had anything gold before. Oh, it must have cost you a lot of money.’

Jimmy shrugged. ‘Father’s still paying my allowance into the bank while I’m down here. And I can’t think of anything I’d rather spend money on than making you happy. You like it?’

‘I love it!’ Her face dropped. ‘What’ll I tell Susannah about it, though?’

‘Don’t tell her anything. I’m afraid you won’t be able to show anyone—at least not for a while. Can’t you wear it somewhere no one will see it?’

Amy nodded. ‘I can wear it under my dress. I’ll wear it every day.’ She gave him a radiant smile.

‘Could you put it on now, just for a minute, so I can see it?’

‘Of course.’ She tried to fasten the brooch at the front of her collar, but it was awkward without a mirror. Her fingers fumbled with the catch.

‘Let me.’ Jimmy took the brooch and pinned it deftly, but when it was done instead of dropping his hands he slid them on to her shoulders. He leaned towards her till his face was only a few inches from hers and caressed her shoulders with his fingers. ‘Don’t I get a thank-you?’ he asked, looking into her uptilted face.

Amy opened her mouth, but before she could get any words out Jimmy’s mouth was on hers, and she gave a little mew of surprise. He raised his head and smiled down at her.

‘I’m afraid we’d better go back now,’ he said, letting his hands drop from her shoulders. ‘They’ll miss us soon. Happy Christmas, little one.’

‘It’s the best Christmas I’ve ever had.’ Amy took off the brooch, slipped her hand into his and walked back to the house at his side, clutching her brooch in a blissful dream.