76

EVI CHECKED HER WATCH. IT WAS ALMOST TEN O’CLOCK, but she could see lights in the first-floor window. She crossed the street and rang the bell. The pain in her leg and back had got much worse during the last hour. She’d been stupid not to take some medication from Steve.

After several minutes, light flooded the landing at the top of the stairs. A dark figure could be seen descending. Evi’s chest started to feel tight. The figure reached the bottom of the stairs. The door opened and for a second the two women just stared at each other.

‘Hello, Gillian,’ said Evi.

Gillian seemed to sway backwards; her eyes couldn’t quite focus on Evi’s. ‘Dragged yourself away from him, have you?’ she said. She’d been drinking.

Evi’s ribcage seemed to have shrunk. She almost had to gulp in air. ‘After you saw me in the church, I came straight down here to find you,’ she said, knowing that Gillian would only listen to conversation that was focused on herself. ‘When I couldn’t, I went to see another psychiatrist,’ she went on. ‘We spent a lot of the evening talking about you. I’m worried about you, Gillian. Can I come in?’

‘No!’ Gillian’s hands shot to the doorframe, blocking the way in, as if words alone might not be enough to keep Evi out.

‘Gillian, there is no intimate relationship between me and Harry,’ said Evi, hearing her voice shake but forcing herself to look the other woman in the eye. ‘We don’t go out together, we don’t spend time at each other’s houses and we certainly don’t sleep together. But he’s been under a great deal of strain recently. So have I. What you saw this afternoon was a mistake.’

Evi stepped forward, tried to smile and failed. ‘I’m not his girlfriend,’ she said. ‘But Gillian, I’m afraid you have to accept that neither are you.’

‘Lying bitch!’

The fury on the woman’s face, more than her words, made Evi step backwards and almost stumble.

‘You’re the reason he changed,’ spat Gillian. ‘He liked me. We were close. He kissed me. Then suddenly he started avoiding me. You were spinning him lies about me, weren’t you? Telling him I’m nuts. You poisoned him because you wanted him for yourself.’

‘I don’t discuss you with …’ Evi stopped. She couldn’t even say that any more. She had talked to Harry about Gillian.

‘You’re pathetic, you know that?’ Gillian stepped out of the doorway, forcing Evi back towards the road. ‘I thought I was bad, but you’re just delusional. Well, listen to some plain speaking for once. He might fuck you if he gets really desperate, but that’s all he’s ever going to want from a cripple.’

‘Gillian, stop.’ She couldn’t deal with this, not now.

‘And he’ll only ever do it in the dark.’

Dancing in the … She was going to be sick. ‘I’ll come and see you in the morning,’ she managed.

‘Don’t bother.’

‘We’ll find you another doctor. I know our relationship has broken down and that’s my fault …’

Evi was talking to herself. Gillian had slammed the door.