73

TOM WAS SHIVERING. THE GLASS WAS COLD AND THE WALL was cold and everything was cold but he couldn’t move. Not until he’d seen the thin beam of light travel up the churchyard path. He started counting. Ten, eleven, twelve. By thirty, his dad would be home.

He heard the sound of a key turning downstairs and the front door opening. His dad was coming back from his look around the graveyard and he would have Joe in his arms, cold, tired, annoying as hell, but Joe all the same. His dad had found him, he just knew it. Tom was running across the carpet, opening his bedroom door, reaching the top of the stairs. Gareth stood in the hall below, still wearing his heavy outdoor coat. He glanced up. He was alone.

Tom watched as his dad took off his coat and slung it over a chair in the hallway before climbing the stairs. He reached the top, put both hands on his eldest son’s shoulders and turned him round. The two of them walked back into Tom’s bedroom. Tom climbed into Joe’s bed; his dad didn’t comment. He knelt on the carpet and stroked his son’s head.

‘Dad, I’m sorry.’ Tom had been waiting all evening for the chance to say it, but this was the first time he and his father had been alone.

His dad looked puzzled. ‘What for, matey?’

‘For not watching him. I know I’m supposed to look after him.’

His father took a deep breath and seemed to shudder. Suddenly his eyes were wet. Tom had never seen his father cry before. ‘Tom, it wasn’t your fault,’ he said, his cold hand taking hold of Tom’s. ‘It wasn’t your job to watch him. There were teachers there. Never, ever think it was your fault.’

Tom had never heard his father lie before.

‘We’ll find him, won’t we, Dad? Promise me we’ll find him.’

Gareth’s mouth twisted and he pulled it straight again with an effort. ‘I’ll spend the rest of my life looking, Tom,’ he said. ‘I promise you that.’

Gareth wrapped one arm round his son and leaned his head against the pillow. Tom, determined to stay awake until Joe came back, found his eyes starting to feel heavy. His dad hadn’t promised that Joe would be found, only that he wouldn’t stop looking for him. Just the one lie, then. That’s all he was going to get.