Twelve

There were empty glasses and filled ashtrays all over the small apartment. I could smell scotch and smoke and Tabu and stale food and Lysol—everything but fresh air. Fresh air wouldn’t have suited Eve England, anyway.

I didn’t exactly suit her, either. I sat facing her on the sofa, pretending to examine my drink while I sized up the tall blonde with the brunette’s complexion. Her hair was dark at the roots, her eyes were red at the corners, her mouth was lined at the edges where the lipstick tapered off.

She gave me a look that would have made her a fortune as a glass cutter and said, “Well, now that you’re here, what’s the big idea?”

“No big ideas. Just little ones.”

“Cut the cute stuff. Speak your piece and get out.”

“That’s no way to handle a customer.”

“Say, what is this?” She stood up, bracelets jangling.

“Don’t be afraid.”

“Afraid? Listen, you—”

She began to impugn my character and reputation in rapid, monosyllabic fashion, and that told me all I wanted to know. She was not a clever woman. Just a pushover. And I knew how to handle her. I kept my voice loud, made it harsh.

“You’ve come up in the world, haven’t you? This Caldwell must treat you all right. Of course, he goes for your little tricks. Where’d you pick up those fancy ideas? When you worked Las Vegas?”

Her earrings quivered and danced. “So it’s a shakedown, huh? Well, let me tell you—”

“No. I’ll tell you, instead. This isn’t a shakedown at all, Edith.”

“Eve.”

“Edith Adamowski. You see, I know your name. I know all about you. But don’t get excited. If you want to know who told me, it was Caldwell himself.”

“Caldwell? What kind of a gag is this, anyway?”

I told her what kind of a gag it was. She sat down, after a while, and drank her drink. She even nodded. I went right on talking.

“The important thing is, he doesn’t know anything about it. He mustn’t know. As I told you, he’s willing to pay five grand to get rid of you for good. He thinks he’s a new man, that he can frighten you into it. I advise you to let him do just that. Take the five grand and blow. Then stand by for further orders and maybe you can make more.”

“Well, I dunno. I got a good setup here.”

I walked over to her and sat down. I smiled into her eyes. “Do you mean to tell me you like it?” I asked, softly. “Do you really like it when—”

“Shut up! Don’t talk about it! I hate it. Why do you think I’m on the sauce all the time? He gives me the creeps, but—”

“Then do as I tell you. Take the money and wait for more.”

“How can I be sure you don’t double-cross me?”

“How can I be sure you don’t double-cross me and tell Caldwell I was here?”

She grinned. “Yeah, I never thought of that.”

I grinned right back at her. “Well, don’t start thinking of it, either. Because if you do sing to him, you’re going to have an awful sore throat.”

“Huh?”

“Come here.” I led her to the window, pushed aside the gray strand of a curtain that had once been white. “See that man down there? The big one, standing next to the car?”

She looked at Jake and nodded to me. “I see him. What about it, who is he?”

“I’m not going to introduce you. I hope I never have to. But he’s the man who has orders to see you if you don’t play ball.”

“So that’s it, huh?”

“That’s it. Are you in?”

Eve England gulped the rest of her drink. She drank fast, like a bar tramp, and that’s what she was. If Jake didn’t kill her, some cop or bum surely would. I watched her mouth dispose of the drink and waited for her to form the words I knew would come.

“All right,” she said. “Count me in.” And then, “When do I get the five grand?”

“Caldwell will have it for you,” I told her.

And he did.

I saw him just two days later. He entered, exuding exultancy.

“By God, Roberts, you were right! I did it!” His knobby knuckle slammed against the desk.

“I knew you would. Did you say what I told you?”

“Bet your life. And it was just the way you predicted it would be. She turned on the tears, and then she tried to threaten me. But I remembered what you said, and it worked out.”

“Good for you.”

“You know something? I almost couldn’t go through with it. At one time she almost had me backing out. But I didn’t weaken.”

“Did you pay her off?”

“That’s the important thing. She left town today. I gave her the money in cash.”

“That isn’t the really important thing.”

“No?”

“The important thing is what you’ve proved to yourself. That you have the courage to start over, start fresh. That you are already beginning to become the kind of man you want to be.”

I stood up and looked down at him. “I’m anxious to get started on our regular sessions. How soon will you be through winding up your affairs?”

“Be about three weeks more. They took it pretty hard down at the office, you know. And if it wasn’t for your suggestions, I’d never have been able to sell the retirement notion to Marge. But I’ll be a free man in three weeks.”

“Except for your stock.”

“You can’t talk me out of that one, Roberts. There’s one setup where I’m the expert. Dumping fifteen percent of the company stock on the market right now would sink them. The Imperial outfit is just waiting to close in and reorganize. Besides, as it is, the stuff keeps bringing in dividends. It’s a sound investment. And I won’t have to watch it, just let it sit. I’m going to be a free man.”

“That’s right,” I said. “In three weeks you’ll be a free man.” I stood up. “Meanwhile, we might as well begin our sessions. Suppose I meet you at ten tomorrow, corner of Wilshire and Western?”

“All right,” he said. “You’re the doctor.”

We stood on the corner the next morning, bucking the breeze. “What’s the big idea of the briefcase?” Caldwell asked. “I don’t get it.”

“You will, soon enough. Just follow me and obey orders.”

“Right. Oh, what the devil—”

His hat blew off. I watched it swirl away over the car tops, then spiral into the street. It rolled on its brim.

He started to rush after it.

I grabbed his arm. “Wait a minute. Let it go.”

“Let it go? But that’s a twenty-dollar panama, I’m not going to—”

“Hold it. Your first lesson in living begins right now. Look, Ed. Never chase your hat in the street. You might be killed by a car. Besides, who wants to get sweated up and out of breath chasing a hat?”

“But—”

“Let the other fellow do it for you, Ed. Don’t you understand? There’s always somebody else who’s willing to chase your hat for you. Willing? He’s crazy to death to do it. It makes him a hero. And if you thank him for it, he’ll fall all over you.”

I turned and gestured.

“You see? That man without a coat, between those two sedans. He’s picking it up for you. Here he comes now. Just wait here.”

“This yours, mister?”

“Yes, it is. Thank you very much. I appreciate your kindness.”

“Oh, that’s all right. Glad to oblige.”

“Look at him blush,” I murmured, as we turned away. But Caldwell held back.

“Don’t you think I ought to give him something for—?”

“Certainly not. As it is, he’s happy. He’s done his good deed for the day. He feels superior. If you handed him a dollar now it would be like kicking him in the face. He’s on top of the world at the moment, and you have your hat back without any exertion. Just remember that principle in the future.”

Caldwell nodded. “I guess your theories aren’t as impractical as they sound.”

“Well, we’ll test another one right now. Follow me down this block.”

We walked quickly without speaking. At the corner I led him to my car. “Get in.”

“We going somewhere?”

“Not yet. First, you’ve got a job to do. Take this pencil and paper.”

“Yes.”

“Now, write down everything you can remember seeing during our walk down the block.”

“How’s that again?”

“It’s very simple. Just write down everything you saw as we walked over to the car here. People. Costumes. Faces. The names of stores. What was in the windows. Everything.”

“Why?”

“Don’t ask questions. I’m trying to find out something about your powers of observation and association.”

He grumbled and he sweated, but he wrote. And he was secretly flattered by the attention. This was something like it!

Here was somebody who really took an interest in what a man thought, what he could do, what made him tick. Nobody had ever cared about those things before—Marge didn’t, that slut Eve didn’t, the fellows at the office didn’t, even his friends. Why, in the old days his teachers, his father, his own mother hadn’t cared.

I watched him, knowing what he was thinking, knowing what he was doing, knowing what I was doing.

In a way, I almost felt sorry for the man. He looked so pathetic, so eager, as he sat there scribbling away like an anxious schoolboy. I was giving him something nobody else had ever bestowed upon him in his lifetime—something few men ever get or ever realize they want—personal interest. I suddenly knew that I could do what I had promised: remake him, remold him into a better, more integrated, healthy personality.

But why should I? Suddenly it all came back to me: a picture of Caldwell, dozens of men like Caldwell and what they had done to me in the past.

“Sorry, Mr. Caldwell is busy and cannot be disturbed... Afraid there’s nothing doing right now...If you’d care to leave your name...No, I haven’t time to discuss it with you...”

Yes, there were a lot of Caldwells, a lot of fat, well-fed Mr. Bigs around, ready and waiting to make the little fellows dance to their tune, ready to play God.

Well, I wasn’t having any more. From now on, I was Mr. Big and the Caldwells could dance for me.

“All right, that’s enough,” I snapped.

“But I’m not finished yet.”

“Sorry, another time.” I looked at my watch. “I’ve got a new assignment for you.”

And so we started.

I gave him assignments galore—went through the whole bag of tricks.

I supplied him with a card, an order pad, and a briefcase full of sample neckties and sent him into a haberdashery shop, cold, to pose as a tie salesman and get an order.

Another day I got him hopelessly lost in the canyons and made him drive us back.

I kept him awake for two days and two nights, denied him food and water for twenty-four hours, ordered him to grow a beard.

It was silly, it was pathetic, it was as simple as A-B-C, and he loved it. Because I kept up a fast line of patter about personality development, exposing oneself to new experience variants, learning dormant skills and realizing and utilizing psychic potential. The very simplicity of the methodology is what made it so effective. I was always at his side, always ready with a new problem, always eager to discuss his reactions, listen to him talk about himself. He was completely sold.

As a matter of fact, it didn’t hurt him a bit. It was really good therapy. He dropped about eight pounds in two weeks, took on some color, stopped washing his hands every hour. He was still a string saver, but the change of pace and the absence of Eve combined to restore his sex drive and focus it upon more normal goals.

It surprised me, at first, to see him benefit. But why shouldn’t he benefit? The fake religions, the fake healers, the fake mystics, all have a history of success with sufferers and seekers. Sometimes the success is illusory and temporary, often the converts plunge still further into a final morass of maladjustment, but that doesn’t seem to matter to them.

Certainly the change made Caldwell happy. He felt free, uninhibited, readjusted.

“I’m ready to start fresh now,” he kept telling me. “And thanks to you, I know what I want to do. I was never happy in corporation law, anyway. Handling other peoples’ affairs and other peoples’ funds—that’s living your life secondhand. You’ve shown me I know how to sell, how to analyze. And I do have a background of business experience. Seems to me I ought to take advantage of it.”

“What did you have in mind, Ed?”

“Real estate. There’s a boom building up again in the south, you know. Beach development, housing. I’ve had my eye on some property for a long time, now. But I always kept putting it off, being cautious and afraid. Well, now I’m ready.

“And if I do, Roberts—I’d like to show my appreciation to you. Cut you in on the deal if you want.”

“But your funds are tied up,” I reminded him. “Everything’s invested in that stock, remember?”

He laughed. It was a surprisingly energetic laugh. “That was a lot of nonsense. I was talking like an old woman in those days, wasn’t I? Sure, if I sell, the company may have to reorganize and Imperial might take over. But I’ve got my own life to lead.”

This was a new Caldwell talking, and I listened with new interest.

“What do you say, Roberts? Should I go ahead, sell my stock? And do you want in if I do?”

“Well.” I hedged. “I don’t know if you’re ready yet. Give me a little time to analyze the elements involved. I trust you won’t do anything rash until we work things out.”

“Naturally I wouldn’t make a move without your say-so. But I want action.”

“All right.” I nodded. “I think I can promise you some action very shortly.”

And we left it at that, and I went home.

My new place on New Hampshire was a white frame affair, seven rooms and a fireplace—conventional enough, because I didn’t operate from here. Rogers had a bedroom on the second floor, and he kept out of my way, using the back entrance. I wasn’t usually around much anyhow. I ate out, and the night work didn’t give me much chance to try out the fireplace-and-slippers routine.

Once in a while, like tonight, I had a chance to relax. Or thought I did. That’s why I set the pint bottle out on the table and poured myself a shot.

I had to be careful. Rogers mustn’t see me drink. If he was home, he’d be upstairs, though, with his own pint. The important thing was to keep my occasional indulgence from the Professor.

To hell with the Professor!

I took my first drink on that. And as I did so, I realized I meant it. Perhaps Caldwell’s offer today had started me off. Whatever it was, I felt differently now. I knew I had to get out, get away. If only I could take advantage of his friendly offer, go into real estate or something legitimate. Why, this was the kind of thing I’d always looked for.

And now it came too late. Much too late. Because I couldn’t go in with Caldwell. My job was to line him up for the big trimming. And I couldn’t run, either. Because they’d bring me back. I’d have company all the way—some brawny dick sitting next to me in a coach car, trying to make conversation and hide the handcuffs.

No, I couldn’t run because that would only mean trouble. Besides, I was thinking like Eddie Haines now, not Judson Roberts. Not Judson Roberts, who sat in the driver’s seat, who had a fancy office and clients and money rolling in.

Or did he? The Professor was really in the driver’s seat. And the money was rolling in to him, not to me. Sure, I was drawing my hundred a week plus expenses—but he was making more, would make thousands on these killings.

Killings. That wasn’t a good word to use or think about. I was just a stooge. Professor Hermann had me where he wanted me, and I’d never get out. I couldn’t save Caldwell from whatever fate the Professor had planned. I couldn’t save myself.

But I could have another drink...

“Good evening.”

The Professor had come in quietly, using his own key. He stood in the doorway and stared.

“Come in, sit down,” I said. “I didn’t expect you.”

“That is obvious.”

“You mean the whiskey? I was just having a nightcap.”

He sat down at the table and crossed his arms. The sleeves made a black X on the table. X marks the spot. Black suit again. All that money coming in and he still dressed in the same clothing. Like a minister. Or an undertaker...

“What’s the matter with you?”

“Not a thing. Should there be?”

“Rogers tells me you do a lot of this lately in the evening.”

Rogers was a little rat. I raised my glass and drank to holes in his cheese. “Not so much. Besides, what else is there for me to do?”

“You might keep up your studies. There is no end to learning, you know.”

“I’m doing all right. The money’s coming in, isn’t it?”

“Yes. I really cannot complain on that score.”

“Then I’m entitled to my own way of amusing myself.”

“Amusing yourself.” The Professor ran a hand across his gleaming skull. I thought of a janitor waxing a dance floor. That was better than thinking about gleaming skulls.

He stared at me across the table. “So you are still interested in amusement, eh? That’s the end-all and be-all of your existence, amusement. Your sole purpose in living is to justify and pay for amusement, as you call it. In other words, you have the philosophy of a garage mechanic.”

“That would pretty accurately describe my income and status, too.”

“You’re dissatisfied?”

“What a marvelous analysis,” I said.

“But when you think of where you were just seven months ago—”

“I’d rather think about the big promises you made to me. Fame, fortune, anything I wanted. You remember?”

“Yes. Those things will come, if you desire them. Although I had hoped that through your study, you might have developed a genuine interest in metaphysics. Then you and I could have gone on to the next phase together. But I misjudged you, I see. You want, as you term it, amusement.”

“Let’s just call it more money and be done with it. You’ll never get to me with any nonsense about ‘spiritual riches,’ if that’s what you had in mind.”

“I’ve trained you too well, I see. You’re always sure of an ulterior motive, aren’t you?”

I sighed. “I’m not sure of anything anymore,” I told him. “Except this.”

I reached for the bottle and he took it away.

“That’s out.”

“Look, now—”

“Would a guarantee of five hundred a week help to keep you on the wagon?”

“Yes, but—we’re not doing that well.”

“What about your friend Mr. Caldwell? He’ll be ready for the next move, soon.”

I straightened up. “That’s right. And I wanted to talk to you about that. You know, I’m really helping him.”

“Of course you are.”

“He wants to sell his stock. That will bring in about a hundred and fifty thousand dollars.”

“Excellent. We have uses for that amount.”

“He plans to invest in real estate.”

“Good. Let him plan. His plans will soon change.”

“Look, now, Professor. I’ve got another angle. Maybe we won’t have to touch him at all.”

“What’s that?”

I talked fast, and as I talked it made sense. “Why not let him take his money and go? He’s a new man, he deserves a new start. We don’t need his savings. Not with my angle, not with what I know.”

“I’m listening,” said the Professor.

So I told him what Caldwell had said about his company, about what would happen if he dumped his stock and Imperial took over.

“Do you understand now?” I asked. “I’ll get him to sell his stock. His broker is—”

“I know,” said the Professor. Of course he would know. I realized he had all the details checked.

“Anyhow, the minute he sells, that’s your cue. Get all the cash you can lay your hands on and buy Imperial. They’ll take over and their stock will rise, probably split and rise again. Why, you can make as much or more than you would from Caldwell, and do it legitimately—no danger of a kickback or trouble. Caldwell’s happy and you’re happy. Could there be any better deal?”

“It’s worth considering.” The Professor rose. “I’ll think about it and let you know. Meanwhile, keep Caldwell dangling a few days more.”

I faced him. “This is important,” I said. “I’d like to see things work out without Caldwell getting hurt.”

“I’ll worry about that angle.”

“But he’s going into real estate,” I continued. “And he’ll cut me in. We can make still more if we let him lead us to profitable deals—”

“I told you I’d decide.” The Professor smiled. “But that isn’t the big thing, right now. I came to tell you you’re going on the air.”

“Radio?”

“Fifteen minutes, twice a week. To sell the book, sell your name. I’m having Rogers check on time and costs. Then we might consider an expansion program—train a few assistants for you and sell consultation over the air. How does that sound to you? Five hundred a week and your own radio show—is it a bargain?”

I hesitated.

“Remember, you handle your affairs, and I’ll make the decisions. About Caldwell and all the others. Agreed?”

I took a deep breath because there was nothing else to do. I said, “Yes,” because there was nothing else to say.

The Professor nodded. He didn’t shake hands. He never shook hands. Somehow, that suited me. He had hands like fat, blind white spiders...

“I’ll say goodnight,” he told me. “I’ve got another appointment this evening. Get in touch with me tomorrow and I’ll let you know about Caldwell.”

He left us alone, then, and there we sat: the bottle and I. I looked at it.

“Did you hear what he said?” I asked. “Five hundred a week. And I’m going on the radio! That’s a laugh. I came out here to go on the air, but Rickert said I wasn’t good enough. And now—”

The bottle didn’t answer me.