41.

Things are kind of hectic the next day. Everyone’s running in circles trying to prepare for the wedding. Daphne says she’s never worked so hard in all her life. I tag along, helping her with whatever she needs.

The seamstress says she doesn’t have any white silk or embroidered cloth, and it would take weeks to make by hand. I think she’s just saying that, because nobody is excited to have a young queen. Especially one that came from the same life as them.

But Daphne sees right through her.

“Don’ tell me ya don’ have the materials! I seen them jus’ last week. Ya sayin’ that on purpose, ya crazy goat.”

The woman’s jaw drops. “Nothin’ of the sort! Just don’t believe someone younger than most of us should be queen.” As if her words aren’t enough, she juts her nose toward the ceiling.

Daphne begins to say something, but I grab her arm. “C’mon, Daph. We’ll just tell the King his wedding will be postponed because the seamstress refuses to make the dress.”

“I didn’t say that!” she yells. “Stop! I’ll do it. Just don’t tell him stories.”

“Good. Now show us all the white cloth you have stocked.” I can’t help but feel a little smug. By the looks of it, Daphne does too. Like we’re powerful. Like nothing in the world can stop us right now because the King is on my side.

The seamstress disappears into a back room.

“Ya have pull,” says Daphne.

“It’s funny that I just mention the King’s name, and she agrees to help.” Even as I speak, I keep my gaze directed toward the door. “Is what she said true? About me being too young?”

“Some people think so, miss.”

I glance at Daphne. “That’s why they give me curt glares?”

“Yes. They don’ think ya can handle bein’ Queen.”

“But I can. I mean, I will.”

“You’ll hafta prove them wrong.”

The pudgy woman appears from the supply room with bolts of white fabric. She drops them on the table in front of us.

“There. That’s it. All I got.” I’m met with a grunt. “Pick what ya want. Not like I have a say in the matter.”

“Well, then, that’s what I choose.” I lift the two bolts up so she knows. Daphne steps forward, explaining how much we’ll need for my dress.

When the materials are in hand, Daphne insists we get my measurements. “I want ta make the dress myself, if that’s all right.”

“I couldn’t imagine anyone else making it for me.”

A middle-aged woman with a flower wreath around her head stops me before reaching the room. “King’s orders. Need to know if your family and friends will attend. We have to make a guest list,” she says.

“I’d like for my family to be here. They’re in Legora and don’t know that the wedding is tomorrow. It’s all so sudden.”

The woman smirks. “Of course. I’ll send for them right away.”

Before I can take two more steps, a footman approaches with a slip of paper in his hand. “The meal is one of the most important events for tomorrow. Aside from your wedding, obviously. But we need to know your preference on a few items.” He flips the paper so it’s facing me. The list is a mile long. Appetizers. Main Course. Dessert. Each with at least ten different options.

“I think I’ll go with the sprout rolls for the appetizer, sharsan for the main course and for dessert, um, the chocolate surprise.”

He bows out, heading toward the kitchen. What will Malik think about cooking all this food? Or will he be allowed to attend the wedding?

“So what’s the surprise?” Daphne asks.

“I have no clue. Just sounded entertaining.”

Daphne locks the doors behind us upon entering my chambers. She says there should be no more interruptions, so she can concentrate.

She measures everything from head to toe. “I jus’ wanna make sure yer day is perfect,” she tells me.

“I need to locate the King when we’re finished.”

“Oh?”

“I’d feel awful if Malik wasn’t there. I don’t want him preparing my food; I want him to be sitting with me, eating it.”

“I don’ see why he couldn’t.”

Later, when I visit King Zarek in his study, he’s not too thrilled that I missed his tennis match. On top of that, I have to bring up the subject of Malik and his role in the wedding. The King says, “We need all the cooks we can get tomorrow. Have you seen the guest list, my dear?”

“Yeah, it’s lengthy, but that’s not the point. Malik’s my friend. I don’t want him to work on the day of my wedding.”

The King sighs. “Very well. He is permitted to attend. But only because you begged for him to.”

“I didn’t—”

“Ah, ah.” He tick-tocks his finger at me. “Let’s not argue tonight. Tomorrow is our day, and I don’t want anything to ruin it. You need your sleep as much as I do. Run along, sweetheart. I’ll see you when the sun wakes.”

Is it possible to feel so alone the night before you vow to spend the rest of your life with someone?

42.

“It’s yer day, miss,” Daphne says. “Ya hafta look like a queen. You’ll be one.”

All of this preparation and work by people, who may or may not want a new addition to their monarchy, seems surreal.

“They don’t like me much, do they?” I ask. “Like, none of them.”

Daphne’s eyes drop to the floor. “They’re used to the Old World. Don’ take it personal.”

“Well,”—I inhale a deep breath—“maybe I can be the one to change their minds.”

“I hope so, miss. Someone needs ta.”

She finishes pinning areas of my dress that need to be tightened. The front is too long and will have to be hemmed so I won’t trip. How embarrassing would that be?

“—an’ if it was me, I’d be havin’ a lovely time. But what do I know? I’ve only seen two weddings in mah life.”

I attempt to focus on what she’s saying by nodding and using the occasional “uh huh”. My mind is only thinking about Mama and Mattie. As bothersome as all this is, I just want my family to be here. If they were, I’d feel a little more at ease with the situation. I’m still uncertain if Malik will show.

“Ya haven’t heard anything I said, miss.”

I knew she’d catch on. “I’m sorry. It’s just…I have a lot to consider right now.”

Daphne stands, her arms enveloping me. “I know it happened fast, but you’ll be all right. You’ll see.”

I hug her back. “I pray you’re correct.”

Pulling away, she places the pin cushion on the vanity. “Let’s get ya out of that dress. I’ll hafta take it to the seamstress for finishin’ touches.”

I don’t mind. It feels like sandpaper around the midsection.

“I meant ta ask ya… What did the King say about Malik?”

“He eventually said Malik could attend. But I don’t know that anyone’s told Malik.” I stare at my bare stomach, wondering if the King will see it tonight. I don’t even know how that ritual goes.

“If I have ta, I’ll go tell him myself.” She playfully smacks my arm. “Now put some clothes on while I give the seamstress a piece of mah mind.”

I fall back on my bed, the feathered mattress hugging me. More than anything, I want this day to be finished. Too much has happened in too little time and it makes my head spin. As long as my family and friends are there, that’s what matters most.

And only the heavens know how much I miss my family.

All of this is for them. If they could live here with me, I’ll never worry about if they’re hungry or if the clothes on their backs have too many holes or if they have a warm place to sleep.

“Can I come in?” Malik asks, wrenching me away from my thoughts. He stands at the door in his kitchen outfit.

“You don’t look like you’re ready for the wedding…”

“Turns out they need all cooks tonight. Something about a big event taking place.” He snorts at his pathetic joke.

I’m not laughing. “I told the King I wanted you there. He said it was okay.”

“Well,” he pauses, glancing at his clothes then back at me, “apparently not. Congratulations, by the way. Hope it works out, my lady.” He performs an exaggerated bow and exits.

I stomp off toward the King’s chambers, which are next door to his study. Several men I don’t recognize are stumbling around, laughing at nothing in particular.

Governor Hadi notices me.

“What are you doin’ in here, girl? You’re supposed to be gettin’ ready for your wedding,” he says, slurring his words.

“I need to speak with His Majesty. Is he here?”

Hadi closes the short distance between us, wrapping his arm around my neck in a tight hug. Like I’m one of the guys.

“Of course he is.” He leans in close and whispers, “But it’s bad luck to see him before the wedding.”

His breath is putrid. I refrain from gagging.

“I won’t look at him. I just need to talk with him about the guest list. Seems there’s been a mix up.”

Hadi laughs and pats me hard. A little too hard. “I’ll go get ‘em.”

“There’s no need to find me when I’m in the next room, Governor. Honestly,” the King says. “Leave us.”

Everyone exits the room, giving me cold stares on their way out.

“We shouldn’t be talking to each other right now.”

“Because of that stupid bad luck myth?” I snort. “I have bigger problems right now. Like the fact that Malik showed up at my room wearing his kitchen attire and said he can’t attend the wedding.”

“Oh, that? It can be fixed, darling,” he coos.

“You know how much this means to me. I want him there. And did someone send for my family? I haven’t seen them.”

“I had my riders go after them this morning.”

“They had better be here. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life knowing they were left out of something that happens once in a lifetime.” I turn on my heel, thinking I’ll make a grand exit. Instead, the King jerks my arm.

“Careful, Andrina. This day is as much mine as it is yours. But I shouldn’t remind you of your place in my kingdom. Though you will have the title and all that comes with it, you still have an obligation to me. I cannot have these dramatic displays in public. If you wish to speak to me privately, you may do so. But I won’t be embarrassed in front of my people. Am I making perfect sense?”

“So I’m supposed to smile and pretend that everything is okay, when it’s not?”

“As soon-to-be royalty, you cannot let the people talk. If they suspect anything is wrong between us, it will be your downfall.” He loosens his grip. “Try not to ruin anything. I’ve gone out of my way to make sure this evening is amazing. I so wish you wouldn’t let something this infinitesimal quash our moment.”

This time, I don’t respond. I take my leave.

I get it—I’m to listen to what the King says. After all, he is still my King. Not just my almost husband. Doesn’t matter now, or in the future, if he requests that I do something, I have to listen. Like he said: it’s my obligation.

Daphne’s in my room, wedding dress folded over her arm. 

“Where ya been, miss?”

I smile. “Nowhere. Just had to get some fresh air.”

“Yer not gettin’ cold feet, are ya?”

“No, not at all.”

“Good. ‘Cause after the mess I’ve been through for ya, I’d feel like I’m jus’ wastin’ mah time.”

I don’t know what comes over me, but I hug her. “Thanks for everything.”

She giggles. “I was jus’ jokin’ with ya, miss. No need ta thank me.”

“I guess I could be having second thoughts. I mean, I am a little young to be married. But I’m doing this to help these people, my people. And my family.”

“Well, of course ya are. Some people don’ see that, though.” She drapes the dress over the back of the vanity chair.

I lean against the bedpost. “What do they see?”

“A young girl who’s usin’ the King for money. That’s what I’ve heard.”

“They think because I’ve come from poverty that I’ve convinced the King to marry me? That’s crazy.”

Daphne nods. “I know, miss. But that’s jus’ talk. Don’ let it get ta ya.”

I remember what King Zarek said to me about gossip, and how it can affect us. Today I’ll attempt to push it to the deepest section of my mind. I can’t be reminded of their words, not now.

“We need ta get ya ready. It’s gettin’ close to time.”

The dress fits perfectly this time. No changes. Daphne’s relieved, too. With so little time, I didn’t believe we could pull it off.

We barely have enough time to doll up my hair and face before footmen knock on my door.

“The wedding is beginning soon. King Zarek wants you to be ready in fifteen minutes,” one says. “The guests are seated.”

“Thank you.” Nerves rush to the surface of my skin, stinging and burning. I exhale a short breath. “This is it, then?”

“It is, miss. Ya look beautiful.”

The footmen wait outside the door. I’m ready so there’s no need to leave them waiting. I just hope King Zarek allowed Malik to attend, and that my family is here to watch.

Outside my room, decorations have been set in place.

Everywhere my eyes meet, something is garlanded in white silk and flowers. Tiny, pasty angels hang from ceilings, or are fixated on the corners of doorways. Colorless petals are dispersed across the floors.

But when I see the garden, all air evaporates from my lungs.

 The hedges are stuffed with white roses. Glossy fabric is draped in loops and twists along the sides. About one hundred people are seated in high-back chairs, except for King Zarek and the minister, who both stand at the front.

I scan the crowd, hoping to catch a peek at Mama or Mattie in the audience, but they are nowhere to be found. No sign of Malik, either. Where are they? He promised me they’d be here.

Each step is taken carefully, so I won’t trip. The mass stands, turning to face me. A violinist in the front corner plays a gentle melody that echoes against the castle’s structure.

I stop and close my eyes for only a heartbeat. My family and the people of Legora depend on the events of today. On me.

Time closes in against my vision. Almost like I can see myself from a distance, like this isn’t really happening. I wish it wasn’t. When I was a young girl, I dreamed of this day, but this isn’t how I pictured any of it. Though every girl wants their own prince, I now believe it’s just a metaphor.

King Zarek smiles at me. His people assess me up and down, most likely placing bets on how long I’ll last.

I want to turn around and run. I don’t care if it’s through the desert or some distant town. I could disappear forever.

But the closer I get to King Zarek, the more his grin warms my heart, telling me everything’s going to be okay. For all of us.

“My beloved people,” he begins once I reach the stage, “please be seated.”

The cleric cocks one eyebrow, and then raises his hand toward the throng of devout followers in front of him. “We are here today to marry the King and his bride before the eyes of God and His children. All of you are witnesses to this moment in history when King Zarek has finally chosen a wife.”

The King clears his throat.

“Ah, yes,” the minister mumbles, flipping through a few pages of the book he’s holding. “Andrina Stevens, do you take His Majesty, King Zarek, to be your husband for the remainder of your days? Do you promise to be loyal to him and his people, no matter the cost?”

Oh, no. The universe is crashing down on me. I squeeze my eyes shut. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. But that doesn’t help the fluttering wings in my stomach, or the fact that the sky is whirling.

“Andrina…” King Zarek sucks me back into reality.

“Can I have a minute?” I rasp.

Whispers crawl through the audience. I know what they’re thinking: She shouldn’t be marrying him anyway. But have they heard the real story?

“Andrina,” King Zarek murmurs from one side of his mouth—the side facing away from his people, “we haven’t got all day. If you have a problem with this, I suggest you say so now.” His eyes ignite like fire from the heavens.

I have to get my act together. I have to think about Mama and Mattie and all those other people who depend on me. I have to make this right.

Pushing past the rabid butterflies and the faintness, I say, “I do.”

The minister doesn’t hesitate. “And do you, King Zarek, take Andrina to be your wife for the remainder of yours days? Do you promise to be loyal to her, whatever the cost?”

King Zarek smirks. “Of course I do.”

“By the power vested in me through God, I now pronounce you husband and wife.” He looks out to the crowd. “People of Valyad, welcome your new Queen.”

Queen. I haven’t thought much about that word, or its meaning. But now I’m someone of power. These people need me like my own people do.

“Let the festivities begin!” King Zarek says. And by festivities he means a game of tennis because I missed his yesterday. Now I have no choice but to watch.

Afterwards, we’ll eat.

I do know one thing: this is not how I pictured my wedding. I’m not sure if I really know what I expected from this, other than to help my family and the people.

“Do I still have to call you a royal name?”

This sparks a laugh from him. “Only if that is your wish.” His hand remains on the small of my back, guiding me toward the rows of seating outside the tennis court.

The guests roar with excitement as the game begins. Though I don’t say it, I’m certain they’ll let him win. Who beats the King at his favorite sport and gets away with it?

When the referee proclaims that the King has won, everyone takes a break. Drinks are passed around in crystal glasses, and appetizers are served on mirrored dishes.

“Having fun, my dear?” Zarek asks through the viewing net.

If I have to fake our conversations for the public, now’s a good time to start practicing.

“It’s wonderful. I can’t imagine anything more exciting. You’ll have to teach me how to play.”

If he knows I’m fooling everyone, it doesn’t show on his face. He’s completely ecstatic by my words.

“Anytime you want.”

Tennis continues for several more rounds. Each time Zarek wins. But nobody complains. They all act as if they’ve given their all and he’s beat them.

Eventually, guests are ushered into the dining hall, where the feast is fresh and waiting. Zarek takes his usual seat at the head, and I sit beside him.

“Andrina, you remember Governor Hadi,” says Zarek.

I smile at the Governor. “I do. I see you’ve sobered up since earlier today.”

It takes a moment for the Governor to compose himself. But he does it well, and responds, “Yes, my lady. I apologize for that sorry display. I hope you can forgive me.”

“Consider it done.”

There’s an eerie silence on our end of the table. What’s everybody thinking? Nothing they can say aloud, clearly. One man, several seats down on the opposite side, gawks at me. He holds my eyes for a few seconds, but it seems like longer. The woman beside him nudges his arm, and then offers me a pitiful glance.

Zarek clears his throat. “I’m proud that Valyad came together for this. It would seem the decorations and food and guest list went on without a hitch.”

I clear my throat. Guest list was great? The three people I wanted most to attend weren’t there. He knows this.

“How else will you celebrate?” Governor Hadi asks.

Zarek drinks from his oversized wedding goblet. “I think I will hunt. It’s been too long since I’ve killed. I crave it again.”

“Every man craves it, Majesty,” Hadi adds, slapping Zarek a couple of times on his back. “I haven’t been in several months myself. Let’s go tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Zarek chuckles. “Ah, my good friend, have you just forgotten I must spend time with my new wife?”

“That’s what tonight is for.”

43.

I had completely forgotten about what might happen behind closed doors tonight. I’ve never been intimate with anybody in my life. I only thought my nerves were horrible before the wedding.

Now, I might vomit.

As the guests leave one by one, I force a smile to my lips, hoping they can’t see past the fakeness.

Zarek leans over and whispers, “You’re pale. Why don’t you go lie down?”

I can only nod. If I opened my mouth, well, it wouldn’t be pretty.

Everyone I pass in the hallway bows. I smile and breeze past. One of the guards at the entrance to the King’s chambers opens the door for me. Tick, tick, tick says the grandfather clock in the corner, while the fire pops and crackles.

I crumple into a heap on the bed, lying in the fetal position. It’s not until the room spins that I realize how tired I am…

Zarek’s soft kisses on my neck wake me. “Feeling better?”

“A little,” I mumble. “How long have I been asleep?”

“It’s nearly three in the morning.”

I can smell the wine on his breath, even though he’s lying behind me. My heart pounds frantically inside my chest.

But, as if he knows what I’m thinking, he says, “I won’t force you to do anything you are afraid of.”

“Thank you,” I say, and fall into a dreamless sleep.

 

Sun floods through the open window, casting a glow around Zarek’s head.

I sit up.

“Good morning,” he says.

I blush. “I didn’t mean to spoil last night.”

“Nonsense. Yesterday was exciting. And today will be too.” He kisses me lightly on the cheek and slides off the bed. “I’ve agreed to that hunting trip we talked about over dinner. It seems the Governor hasn’t lost his skills of persuasion.”

“When do you leave?”

“As soon as we can prepare the horses and men. Should be within the hour.” He snatches a loose-fitting shirt from the back of a lonely chair, and some pants from his closet.

“How long do these hunting trips usually take?”

“No longer than two days. And when I return, we will finish celebrating our marriage.” He leans across the bed, taking my hand in his. The way his lips meet my skin makes my stomach flip.

And not in a good way.

“Can I ask you something?” I say, trying to keep his mouth absent from me.

“Anything, my dear.”

I pull my hand away. “Where were Malik and my family yesterday?”

His loving expression withers into aggravation. “I promised you I would send for them, and I did. They just did not arrive in time. Apparently they had a brush with the stars, but I have been told that they are fine and will arrive today.”

“Yeah. A day late.”

He smirks. “At least you’ll have someone to keep you company while I’m gone.”

“Unbelievable.”

“Wish my luck on my trip,” he says, leaning forward and placing a kiss on my cheek.

“I don’t think I can do that.”

He holds back a smile. “Of course not. But I’ll see you soon.”

I know it probably looks awful that I’m not there to see him off for his first hunting trip as a married man, but all I can think about is how the one important day of my life couldn’t be seen by the people I love.

As he leaves, I notice the lavender dress hanging beside the door. It’s new. The fabric is still crisp, yet smells like it’s been washed in a bouquet of flowers. I slip out of my wedding dress and slide the casual one over my head. If it’s true that Mama and Mattie will be here soon, I can’t stand to wait inside.

Passing through the boundless hallways, I reach the main doors to the outside. The same way Malik and I entered not so long ago. I’ll admit I’m definitely not used to everyone bowing at me and addressing me with a royal name.

“Nice day out, isn’t it, Majesty?” one of the militia men asks.

“Yes, it is. Do you know if my family will be arriving soon?”

He grins. “Any second now.”

Racing toward the main gate, I note the guards’ armor still has that soft glow, and this time I’m not afraid to ask what it’s made from.

“The stars,” one replies. “We’ve been able to extricate remnants of their protective barrier and use them as reinforcements for our defense.”

“Genius. Pure genius.”

He timidly beams. “Thank you, Majesty.”

“Black Riders!” someone yells.

Ahead, through the clearing of trees, are the same shadowy men that have escorted me, safely, more than once. And with them showing up again, that means my family must be here. I can only imagine Mama’s face when she saw those men at the station. Mattie’s too.

The closer they come, the larger they appear. I can distinguish the outlines of Mama and Mattie on a horse’s back.

“Mama! Mattie!” I run to them, lifting Mattie off the horse. His small arms wrap around my neck.

“I missed you, Andy,” he says, burying his face in my hair.

I squeeze him. “Missed you, too, bud.”

Mama dismounts, immediately taking my hand in hers and kissing my forehead.

“You look absolutely drained,” I say. “Come with me. We’ll get you settled in.”

Mattie lifts his head. “Will we have food here, Andy?”

I glance at Mama in confusion.

“He’s a growing boy who’s always hungry. We’re fine,” says Mama.

“Zarek promised that Legora was taken care of. Was he lying?” I ask.

“He did send supplies, but we’ve had more weary travelers plant their feet and it’s depleting the food quicker than we expected.”

I stop when we reach the steps leading up to the primary entrance. “I can be of help. I’ll have more supplies sent to Legora. But first there are a few things I need to discuss with you. After lunch.”

Mattie’s face light up each time he sees something new hanging on the walls. I haven’t seen him this happy in a very long time. If only I could keep him this way. Mama gasps when she notices the artwork and tapestries.

“I can’t believe you live here,” she says. “I’m jealous.”

“You can live here, too. Zarek says it’s all right with him.”

“Oh, no. We’re happy with our little home back in Legora, aren’t we Mattie?”

He barely nods.

“Mama, you don’t have to pretend everything’s okay. I know we’re used to making it on our own, but Zarek promised he’d take care of me. And if that meant my family living in Valyad, well, he’d take care of you too.”

Her face softens. “Andy, I understand you love it here. For once the burden doesn’t fall on you. But I enjoy the people of Legora; they’re like us. And they don’t hesitate to help someone if they need it.”

Well, I can’t say the same for the citizens of Valyad. These people hate anyone who doesn’t have money or authority.

“If that’s what you choose, then I won’t beg you to stay.”

Mama clucks her tongue. “Oh, Andy, don’t be upset. We’ll visit as often as you’d like. I just think Mattie and me should stay put for now, in Legora.”

“Why?” I ask, leading them to the dining hall. Based on Mattie’s comment, he must be hungry. And it’s not like they brought many possessions with them.

“We’ve got a new life in Legora, not here. I don’t want to continue moving. Mattie needs a solid home while he’s young.”

“Okay,” I say, nodding. “But the door’s always open.”

I love watching their faces explode in marvel at the angels painted on the ceiling, or the lace and crystal positioned in a variety of places around the room.

Signaling for a footman, I order sharsan, quietly. For Mama. And because Mattie’s never tasted it; he’s only heard stories of its rarity. 

“How long will you two stay?” I ask while taking a seat in Zarek’s chair. Mama sits to my left and Mattie to my right. This way, we can see each other as we eat.

“Only for a few days,” says Mama. “I still have a job, and they’re beginning classes for the children soon.”

“A school?”

“Parents met last week to discuss education. Our children aren’t getting what they deserve so we voted unanimously that a school system should be implemented. They’ll meet in the town hall three days per week, for five hours per day.”

“Doesn’t sound like enough.”

“It’s better than not learning at all. These kids are lucky to be receiving this. There haven’t been schools since the Old World. Do you remember?”

“I recall bits and pieces, but not enough to stick. Like that one teacher I had in second grade, the one with frizzy hair and wore blush like a clown.”

“Ms. Filipe.”

“Yes! That’s her.” We both grin, but mine soon vanishes when my mind questions what happened to her. I change the subject. “Are you continuing to sell jewelry?”

“No, they’ve moved me to pottery, which I make myself. I think people need plates and bowls more than they need jewelry.” She scrunches her nose.

“I agree.”

The door to the kitchen swings open, three footmen appearing with gleaming, covered trays. They place them in front of us. Mattie looks at me, like he’s asking if it’s okay for him to remove the cover.

“Go ahead,” I tell him. He yanks it off and stares at the food. If he hasn’t had good food in a while, he probably doesn’t know where to start. I’ll make sure he’s fed until his stomach is tight.

“Andy, this isn’t what I think it is, is it?” Mama asks. Her eyes are wide, and they go back and forth between her food and me.

“Sharsan,” I say, slicing mine.

Mama gasps. “This isn’t easy to hunt.”

“No, but Valyad apparently has several very skilled hunters. The King is on a hunting trip as we speak.”

Mattie says, “Is this the meat Mama always talks about?”

I nod.

He immediately digs in.

“Mattie, slow down. I’m sure there’s plenty more where that came from. Just enjoy it,” Mama says.

“Trust me, you two can eat until you die from eating too much.” I giggle, but then realize it might be insensitive for me to mention the irony between food and death when my family is starving.

If Mama notices, her actions don’t illustrate the same. “Tell me,” she says, “what do you have on the agenda for today?”

I shrug. “Whatever you and Mattie feel like doing. I’d take you on a tour, but I’m afraid we’d be lost. The gardens are a definite, though. You can’t leave here without seeing them.”

“Are there carrots in the garden?” Mattie asks. All around his lips is sauce from the sharsan.

“This isn’t that type of garden. It’s more of a place to rest and enjoy the scenery.”

“Oh.”

“But they have really pretty fountains that gush water,” I say, hoping it’ll redeem his ideas of what a garden should be. “And sometimes we play games in the garden. There is a maze of hedges.”

He squints. “I might have to see that to believe it.”

“Well, how about I show you after we eat?”

“Okay,” he says, bobbing his head in agreement.

“There’s one hall dedicated to guest rooms,” I begin, “which is where I’ve been staying, but Zarek knew you two were arriving so I’m confident he had them cleaned. If not, I’ll have someone take care of it.”

“You must have some pull with the King to be able to order his people around,” Mama says, eyeing me for my response. Does she know? Mothers always know, don’t they?

“You could say that.”

“Tell me all about it later?”

The way she says later makes me think she wants to speak privately, without Mattie. Which means she’s aware, or has a general idea.

I nod and smile. “Of course.”

Why do I suddenly feel queasy? What will she say if she does suspect I’m married? Surely Zarek wouldn’t have told them; he’d let me be the one.

Mattie’s scraping his plate, which pulls me out of my mental questions.

“Want more, bud?” I ask.

He glances at Mama through his lashes, like he needs permission for more food.

“You don’t have to ask,” I tell him. “If you want more food, I’ll order it for you.”

“No,” he says, lowering his gaze to the empty plate, “I think I’m all right.”

“Well, if you’re hungry later, we’ll have to come back for a late night snack. How does that sound?”

He drops his fork; it clatters against the dish. “Okay.”

“Let’s get you two settled in, and then we’ll go look at the gardens.”

Mama picks up her plate, like she’s about to wash it herself. Mattie does the same. I figure they’re so used to it, they haven’t thought twice about where they’re at.  

“What are you doing? The footmen will take them to the kitchen.”

Mama stares at her plate, and then Mattie’s. “It’s all right. We don’t mind.”

“Mama! You’re not in Legora. Think of this as a vacation. You don’t work on vacations.”

But her last vacation was with Dad.

She gently sets the plate on the table. “Put it back, Mattie.” He follows her lead.

“It’s okay. Promise,” I tell her. “C’mon. Let’s get you two in your room.”

In all honesty, I have no idea which room is meant to be theirs. Zarek never left instructions on what I should do, and this is all new to me.

I poke my head through the doors of my old room, confirming that nobody has temporarily moved in after me. There aren’t bags or belongings.

“In here,” I say. “This used to be my old room.”

“Where do you stay now?” Mama asks. Of course she’d question something like that.

“In a different hallway.”

“Wow,” Mama breathes, “this is definitely nothing like home.” She takes in everything. From floor to ceiling.

Mattie climbs on top of the bed.

“Keep your feet off of there,” warns Mama.

“He’s okay. I wasn’t clean when I first arrived, but the bathroom is connected so you two can bathe whenever.”

“That should be something we do first. We wouldn’t want to leave our odors lingering in the hallways for other people to pick up.”

I shake my head. “That’s not what I meant. You know what it’s like to not be able to bathe for weeks. You also know it makes you feel better once you do. But if you want to parade around here with sand embedded into your pores, then don’t let me stop you.”

Mama looks down her nose and replies by saying, “Mattie, you’re first. Bath time.”

He jumps off the bed and runs toward the bathroom.

“I’ll grab some clothes for each of you,” I say.

Mama nods, stepping inside and closing the door behind her. The only location I know of to obtain new clothes is the seamstress, and she hates me. If Daphne were here, she might be able to talk some sense into her. But if I’m ever going to get anywhere with Valyad’s people, then I might as well do it now.

“Back so soon?” the seamstress crows when I enter her domain. “Didn’t think we’d be seein’ the likes of you around here.”

“I…didn’t think I’d return. But my family is here, and they have nothing to wear. I’d be willing to pay you.”

She crosses her arms, leaning back in her chair like she’s the queen. “I don’t have anything.” The smirk on her face tells me she’s lying.

“What if you joined us for dinner tonight?”

“Busy.”

“Tomorrow?”

Her chair falls forward and she leans across the counter, the smug grin completely wipes from her lips. “I don’t want to join you. Nobody wants to join you. I still stand by what I said, and I’m not budgin’.”

“And…everyone feels this way about their new Queen?”

“Everyone,” she confirms.

“Is there anything I can do to change that?”

She snorts. “Yeah, you can leave.”

 “Very well,” I say, trying not to reveal the slightest emotion. Inside, my stomach feels like it is water, slopping and churning. If there’s nothing I can say that will change the minds of Valyad’s people, then what will I do?