37.

Daphne stays to help me prepare for dinner. She says if I want to impress the King, I have to look my best, and that tonight is the night. She makes it sound like we’re about to engage in a sullied action.

“Where do they have you working now?” I ask.

She twirls a strand of my hair around the long piece of iron. “Mendin’ clothes. Between us, I miss doin’ this.”

“I bet it’s a lot easier.”

“Yeah.” She sighs peacefully. “And the days are shorter.”

“Even though I want to be with my family again, I’m still going to miss this place.”

“Do ya ever think you’ll come back ta visit?” She combs through my curls, creating a softer wave.

“I hope so. You should come visit me, too.”

“I will, miss. As soon as I get the money.” With one small fluff, she says, “There. Yer ready.”

It might be her best work yet.

“Wish me luck with whatever is up his sleeve.”

“Good luck, miss. And thank ya for yer help with Ray. I’ll see ta it he gets that letter.”

I wink. “Have fun.”

She covers her mouth while giggling.

In the dining hall, the silverware and dishes are still being set in their rightful places. Candles are lit, creating a soft glow across the room. Tapestries are lightly beaten to remove dust, and then cleaned with a damp cloth. Footmen stare at me, as if I don’t have any business here.

“I know. I’m early,” I say to nobody in particular. But none of them respond. It’s as if I’m invisible. Instead of feeling even more like an idiot, I wait outside until guests arrive.

A few pass through the halls, but none pay me any attention. They don’t bypass me to enter the room, either.

And then King Zarek appears. The usual footman makes the announcement. Everyone in the room bows, which is only the help. The King jerks his head once to the right, motioning for me to follow.

Taking his usual seat, he waves his hand for the men to bring us our food.

I glance around the room. “Where is everyone?”

“It’s just us, I’m afraid,” he replies.

Was this arranged? Maybe he finally wants to discuss provisions.

“What’s this about, anyway? I mean, this isn’t part of your second proposal, is it?”

He smirks. “Not yet. But I do want to discuss everything with you after dinner. Right now, let’s not think about it.”

That can’t be good.

I smile and nod and pretend like what he just said is okay. But deep within the hollows of my belly, everything sinks. My heart plummets into the darkest depths. Tumbling, tumbling. I can only hope I won’t lose my appetite.

“I hope you’re hungry,” King Zarek says, pulling me out of my estranged thoughts. Bizarre how he can almost read my mind.

“Oh, I am,” I lie.

“I had the chef prepare us a special dinner. Not the usual.”

“Can’t wait to see it.” God, that’s so awful. Can’t wait to see it? What am I thinking? If I’m ever going to convince him we’re in dire need of aid, I have to play the role well. 

 Two footmen stand by the door leading to the kitchen. Everyone else has vanished. Nearby candles hiss.

Moments of hushed air pass. Too awkward for my taste.

“I searched for Malik earlier today,” I say.

“Oh?” King Zarek doesn’t seem interested. He looks bored, really.

“But I was told I couldn’t enter the kitchen area. I just wish I could know where his room is.” Propping one arm on the table, I let out a dramatic sigh.

“I’m sure you’ll see him again. If not, then he’s been relocated.”

I sit up. “Relocated? Like, he won’t be here anymore?”

“What I mean is he’ll be relocated to another area in this castle.” He regards my relief for a second, then says, “You like him, don’t you?”

I hesitate. Have I thought about what might be between us? Yes. But I can’t reveal that to the King. Not when I’m trying to help Legora. “Malik and I are friends. That’s it. We’ve been through the same living conditions, so we connected right away. The fact that we killed two men might’ve done it, too.”

King Zarek sarcastically grunts. “You killed a man? I don’t believe it.”

“Self-defense. That’s all. There were three vagabonds that raided the gypsies. My family and I were staying with them at the time. Nobody stepped up to help, so I took the challenge. And Malik was right there by my side. I couldn’t have done it without him.”

His smile slowly fades. “I’m shocked by this. I never would have placed you as a warrior.”

I laugh as I say, “I’m no warrior. I can assure you.” When he raises one eyebrow in speculation, I add, “I was only trying to save all of them. It’s bad enough we were drifting through the desert with no direction.”

“Still,” he begins, “you don’t seem like a killer.”

I wince. “I hate that you stake me as one. I don’t randomly take lives.”

“Very well,” he says. “We’ll leave it at that. Let’s carry this conversation to a lighter tune. I don’t wish to think about death while I’m consuming delicious food.”

It’s probably best that I keep my mouth shut. I’ve already said too much. Now he assumes I can murder anyone I please, but people who know me would vouch that killing isn’t in my genes.

One footman carts the trays out of the side door, and then proceeds to carry them to us. The polished, silver cover reflects a distorted version of my face. When the King lifts his is the instant I can lift mine.

But he waits. Elbow crutched on the table. Tap, tap, tapping two fingers against his cheek. Fading into his mind.

“Majesty?”

“I was just thinking…” He quickly shakes his head, as if he’s dismissing his own thoughts. “Never mind. Eat.”

I don’t hesitate to remove the tray’s cover. On it is a spread of wild game, lightly seared, with fruits and vegetables animating the plate.

“Looks appetizing,” I say, but it doesn’t seem to be different than the food we have at normal feasts.

“The meat is sharsan. I hope you’ll enjoy.” He lifts his cover, and then a knife and fork, preparing to cut into the miniature feast.

I’m in awe. Sharsan are creatures that bury themselves below the sands. Very hard to hunt. I’ve only heard stories of how succulent their meat is.

Mama would have a fit right now if she knew what I’m about to put in my mouth. She was the one who told Mattie and me stories of all the creatures that are above and below us. Although I paid attention, I wasn’t as interested as Mattie. He listens to her fables. Not me. I’ve only caught portions of them, and then later pieced everything together.

So, I dig in. And Mama was right; it’s the juiciest meat I’ve ever eaten. Sweet, yet slightly fatty. The outside texture has a singed taste, of course. It’s like the perfect combination of salt and sugar.

King Zarek chuckles, a low, reserved sound echoing from deep within.

“What?” I ask.

“You had your eyes closed.”

I smile. “The food is perfect.”

“I’m glad it meets with your approval. I had hoped you would take pleasure in it.”

“Do you have men that hunt your food?” I ask.

He stabs a baby tomato with his fork, pulls it off with his teeth and then bites into it with a pop. “I do. But sometimes I join them.”

“You hunt?”

“This seems to surprise you. I delight in the thrill of hunting. There’s nothing like it.” He leans against the back of his seat, his voice carrying a blissful air. “When I was young, my father would let me ride with him and his men. We had dogs, too. They were mostly for show, but still very useful.”

“Did they kill the animals?”

He shrugs. “Sometimes. We did the majority of it. I had to learn the skill of riding and shooting at the same time, a task which is not simple.”

“I think it sounds daring.” I have no idea why I’m completely engrossed by him talking about chasing wild animals, like I haven’t done the same to keep my family fed. Just not in an exaggerated fashion.

“I’ll have to take you one day,” he says. “But we’ll get you trained first. I can’t have you falling from a horse.”

I grin. “I’d like that.”

“Falling from a horse?” He chortles.

“No, silly. Trained to ride one.”

“Eat,” he says, nodding toward my plate.

Even though he hasn’t mentioned it, I still want to know what’s going on. What is it that he’s eager to offer me? The only idea that comes to mind is him presenting a room in the castle that is permanently my own, and that I stay here and work. Where else can I go? Back to Legora? Surely he won’t send me away before we discuss food and materials the town needs.

When our bellies are full and the moon has danced its way across the sky, King Zarek escorts me through the gardens. In the distance, stars burn brightly as they collide with the ground.

“Do you ever think they’ll stop?” I ask.

“The stars? No, I don’t believe they will.”

“Sometimes I like to think they’re upset with us for one reason or another. But that’s just my mind making stuff up.” I bite my lip. “How do the domes around the cities keep them out?”

He continues watching them, deep in thought. “Scientists, my dear. They are advanced in their skills of keeping us alive. Somehow they have managed to create elements that are reinforced, though tiny. Anything un-human that touches the domes is mechanically ricocheted.”

“Humans have accomplished great things. The good overcomes the bad.”

“Not always, my dear. But I like to believe that is true.” He tightens his arm, which is entwined with mine. We breathe in the night air. Musky. Thick.

“So, what about this proposal?” I ask, hoping we can just get this over with. I’m ready to retire to my room for the evening.

He’s still preoccupied with the stars. “Marry me.”

It’s not a question, but a demand. Takes me a heartbeat or two before I realize what he says. Suddenly everything’s spinning around me. But maybe I’m overreacting. Maybe he didn’t just say those words.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I said, marry me.”

There. He confirmed it. I did hear correctly.

He watches my facial features. I’m sure I look like a person who’s learned they lost a loved one. Fear and shock have to be written all over my face.

“You seem astounded,” he says, looking away.

I breathe, “I am, a little. I mean, when you said a proposal, I figured you meant something else. Not literally.”

“I don’t mean to frighten you, Andrina. I’m merely offering you a chance at a better life. When we met, I knew there was something different about you. And I truly believe you’d do well for my people.”

“Yeah, but…I’m still trying to help my people.” I sit on a bench near us, taking deep breaths.

“Your people? They’ve already been taken care of. What do you think happened when I met with Lazar? Surely you didn’t think I’d been in there all that time just talking nonsense.”

“Honestly, Majesty, I didn’t know what you two had spoken about. I wanted to imagine that food and supplies were taken care of, but you never said so.”

“Ah, but a King doesn’t reveal what goes on behind closed doors, especially not in business meetings.” He exhales a long-winded sigh. “Just know the people of Legora will be well-fed for many months.”

“Really?” It feels as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. “So, if they’re already taken care of…you brought me here just to marry you?”

He smirks, like it’s something I should’ve guessed already. “I have never met a girl like you. Most strut around, trying to gain every minute they can with me. But you,”—he stops, his finger tilting my chin up—“you are so different from the rest.”

“How’s that?” My voice cracks.

He takes a few steps away from me. “You make me feel alive. Sometimes I forget how young I am, but you bring that out in me. I am like a child again.”

I’ve never seen him as happy as he is now. It’s not like I can say no after all he’s done for my people. And even if it weren’t for my people, would I have the guts to reject our King? I shudder when thinking of the consequences.

“Are you all right, my dear? I know this is sudden and forthright, but I want you to know I’ll wait for your answer. You don’t have to respond to my proposition right away.”

I shake my head. “No, you’ve been more than generous to me. I should repay you by saying yes. It’s just…it’s all a blur, really. I never imagined this is what you brought me here for.”

“Originally, it wasn’t why I asked for your presence. I’ll confess I had only begun to regard the idea the first night upon our return.”

I huff. “What should I say?” I didn’t mean to say it aloud, but it just slipped off my tongue. I slap my hand over my mouth. “I’m sorry, Majesty. I didn’t mean for it to be taken in that context.”

He chuckles at my brazen mistake. “Andrina, you must stop worrying when you’re with me. I want us to be the best of friends. But know this: you still have a place in Valyad, just like my citizens. There are boundaries, even if you accept my offer.”

I bob my head once. “I understand.”

But I don’t really know the meaning of his words.

38.

What just happened? I have to tell Malik and Mama. First two thoughts upon returning to my room. I have no clue what Mama will think about this. I’d like to believe she’d be happy for me, encourage me, but she can be unpredictable at times.

And if it’s not enough to consider, what will happen if I become Queen of the New World? I’ve never received a kind word from the people of Valyad. I don’t know that I want to discern whether they would accept me as their ruler, should I agree to the King’s offer.

Ideas cluster into one big conglomeration.

Swimming.

Growing.

Exploding. 

39.

I’m already awake when Daphne enters my room the next morning, her hands glued to her hips.

“Aye, look atcha. Ready at the crack o’ dawn.”

“Couldn’t sleep,” I say.

“What’s troublin’ ya, miss?” She rummages around in the chest of drawers to find my outfit for the day.

Can I tell her the King proposed? Or is this still between him and me? I can trust Daphne. I think.

“King Zarek and I…” I pause, searching for a way to word this. “The King has offered that I…” Again, nothing. Now I’m having second thoughts.

“Well, spit it out.”

“The King wants to marry me.” There. Done. Over with.

But nothing can prepare me for the look on Daphne’s face. Terror? Shock? I’m not sure. Maybe a little bit of both.

“That’s, uh, that’s not what I was expectin’,” she says.

“Neither was I. Kept me awake all night just thinking about it. He says I don’t have to give him an answer just yet, that I can take some time to mull it over.”

She calmly nods. “I think that’s best for ya. There isn’t an easy reply.”

“I mean, isn’t that what every girl dreams of? To be a princess or a queen? So, why am I having second thoughts?”

Daphne reaches the side of my bed in a few strides. “There, there, miss. It’ll all work out. You’ll see. Jus’ take some time ta consider it.”

“My mother doesn’t even know yet. You’re the first person I’ve told.”

She smiles. “I feel special now. Should I send a message ta Legora, then?”

I nod. “Good idea.”

Patting my leg, she adds, “Don’ be scared.”

“And Daphne? Maybe I should be the one to tell my mom. I need to think of something to say. I wish she were here.”

“’Course, miss. I’ll go grab some paper an’ a pen.”

How can I explain that I’m getting married? Wait. Am I going through with this? Have I subconsciously decided it’s a yes?

Daphne enters with parchment and ink, and I sit at the vanity so I’ll have a flat surface to write on. Pen hesitates above the frail sheet. Hand is a little shaky. But somehow I just go for it.

Mama,

I hope you and Mattie are alright. I’m doing fine in Valyad. King Zarek says he helped our people. I can only hope his words are true.

There is something I need to tell you, though.

Last night

The King has

I might be marrying the King. I know. It’s crazy. He proposed to me, and it was completely unexpected.

Mama, what will I do as Queen? I can’t help these people. They don’t even want me here. You should see the looks they give me. I’m just another beggar, an outsider. What should I do?

I wish you were here to give me advice. Hug Mattie for me.

                 Love, Andy

“I hope she gets this letter,” I say. “I need her guidance more than anything.”

“I’ll see ta it, miss.”

“There is someone else I’d like to speak with.” When Daphne cocks her eyebrows at me, I add, “Malik. I haven’t seen him since he was moved.”

She smirks. “Look at ya, spittin’ out commands an’ yer not even Queen yet.”

My cheeks burn. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

“It’s okay, miss. Just cuttin’ a joke. We’ll go see Malik tonight.”

“Well,” I begin, a lazy smile forming on my lips, “how’d last night go with you and Ray?”

Daphne ducks her head, fiddling with her skirt. “Miss, ya shouldn’t ask such questions.”

“Ah, so you did see him. I’ll take the color of your cheeks as an indication that everything turned out the way you had hoped.” And then I burst into a fit of giggles. Daphne joins me.

“Aye, miss. It turned out better.”

I toss a comb at her. “Now that I didn’t need to hear.”

“I’ll see him tonight.”

“Oh, really?”

She nods.

“Well, I guess we have an excuse to go visit the kitchens, don’t we?”

Nothing memorable has happened this afternoon. Daphne and I order some lemonade, and have it brought up while we watch the mangals soar and dive in the distance.

“I don’t remember much of the Old World, mostly what Mama has told me, but it’s hard to imagine that birds were the size of our hands once. Or less than a decade ago we had places where food was served freely, as long as you paid for it. Hunting wasn’t required. And people bought clothes instead of making them.”

“The library here has books from the Old World.”

I snap my head in her direction. “Where? I thought most of them were destroyed in the Age.”

“That’s what most people think. But I’ve seen them.”

“Can you take me there?”

She shakes her head. “It’s forbidden. King’s orders.”

“Why would he keep those treasures from the New World? What if they helped some people? We might learn from them.”

“Ya hafta talk ta the King.”

“That I will do.”

“Maybe he’ll agree once yer his wife.”

“I haven’t decided yet.”

“I think ya have.”

“Malik first. Then I’ll decide.”

When dusk pulls its drape over the sky, we meander through the dizzying corridors. I’m glad Daphne knows where she’s going. Even after several attempts, I still don’t believe I could find my way to the kitchen.

Ray and Malik wash dishes in a large sink. Dark circles hang below their eyes, and their hair is stuck to their foreheads.

“Pssst.” Daphne tries to gain their attention, but the grease popping in the fryer to our left is much louder. She does it again, with more of a hiss.

Malik turns around to grab a towel, his body jolting. “What are you guys doing here? Nobody’s supposed to be in the kitchen.”

I roll my eyes. “Please. It’s after hours.”

Daphne and Ray exchange wily glances.

“Outside,” Malik says. “Let’s leave these two lovebirds alone for a minute.”

“You know about them?”

“I had to hear about it all day.”

I stifle a laugh. “I’m sorry, but at least it was entertaining, right?”

He cuts me a glare so razor sharp I can almost feel my skin oozing blood. “No offense, but why are you here? Shouldn’t you be dining with the King?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, Mr. Cook, dinner’s been over for two hours. I didn’t come down here for food, if that’s what you mean.”

“Then, what else?”

“I need to talk to you. In private. I don’t want anyone overhearing.”

His eyebrows tighten. Deep creases jut out in-between, hugging each other. “Well, I can’t leave until everything is cleaned—”

“Show me what to do. I’ll help.”

“If we get caught with you two in there, we’ll be removed and placed in another part of the castle. I don’t know about you, but I hate moving. Besides, I need to keep a steady income for my family. I can’t do that if I’m getting into trouble.”

“Fine. We’ll wait outside. Just…hurry. It’s important.”

He raises one eyebrow in question. “That urgent? This had better be good.”

“I don’t know about good, but you might get a kick out of it.”

“Okay, I’ll hurry.”

Daphne explodes through the door—all smiles. “Sorry ta keep ya waitin’.” She giggles…and can’t stop. Even chews the tips of her fingernails.

Her joy is infectious. I can’t help but chuckle. “You really do love him, don’t you?”

Like light from a million stars, her eyes illuminate. “Yes, miss. I do.”

“Why don’t you two get married?”

And there they go, fading to black. “Um, we don’t have weddings much here. The King won’t allow it until he’s married. Most think it’s ‘cause he doesn’t want ta see others happy.”

“Like he’s jealous.”

She nods. “An’ maybe he’s right. Maybe we should wait ‘til our King is married. We’re bein’ selfish.”

“It’s not selfish. You can’t help who you love and the fact that you want to spend your life with them, legally.”

“It’s jus’ a law, miss.” But I see the hopelessness in her eyes. She knows if I don’t marry the King, she won’t be able to wed Ray. “It’s too soon anyway. But when ya have a life like mine, ya don’ have much ta live for. Meetin’ him has been good for me.”

“I can tell.” I try to smile, but my heart is breaking. How would it feel if I loved someone and couldn’t really be with them for fear of being sent away? What does King Zarek do to people who marry?

Before I ask, Malik appears.

“Ray’s waiting for you,” he says to Daphne. She doesn’t hesitate.

“Do you know somewhere quiet?” I ask.

“Follow me.” He leads me around the side of the kitchen, through a short hallway. At the end, there is a door on each side. Both lead to different corridors.

“This place is so confusing.”

Malik smirks. “It’s not so bad once you get used to it. I’ll take you to my room so we can talk.”

My nose detects a hall full of males. Heavy body odor emits from the wood-paneled walls, like it’s triggered by our appearance. I pinch my nose, breathing through my mouth.

Malik gives me an odd look, then shakes his head. “I can’t even smell it anymore.” He sniffs his armpit. Gross.

“We have to get you out of here,” I say in my temporary, nasally voice.

His room doesn’t smell half as bad, though. It’s cozy, definitely not as big as the room he did have next to mine. He has his own bathroom and chest of drawers. The bed is smaller, like it could hold two people snugly.

“This isn’t so bad,” I say.

“Yeah, not everything is feathered pillows and silk.”

“Do you forget where we came from?”

“Do you?”

Via the mirror hanging on his wall, I notice my cheeks aren’t so thin anymore. “No, of course not.”

He grabs a few clothes off his bed and tosses them into a basket in the bathroom. “Good. Don’t. These people will never know what it’s like to give up a meal so your family will live.”

“Not unless something happens to Valyad, they won’t.”

“They will always be under the protection of their King.”

“You say his title like he’s not ours, too. He’s everyone’s in this world.”

Plopping down on his bed, he says, “He’s not the greatest king. I mean, if you could see the way we’re treated. Like slaves, almost.”

 “But you have your job, the one that you wanted. You’re bringing in some money. Isn’t that enough?”

“Enough to send to my family extra provisions, but that’s it. I was hoping I’d be able to save some for the future, in case this position doesn’t work out.”

I sit beside him. “Right now, you’re helping them. That’s all that matters. Maybe you’ll earn more. I wouldn’t give up just yet.”

“Didn’t plan on it. I’ll give it a few months, though.”

I nod and take a deep breath. What will he think when I tell him the news?

“I know you didn’t come down here just to see me. Tell me what’s bothering you.” His head inclines in my direction, and his eyes search my face.

“Well, I’ve learned Legora’s been taken care of,” I say.

He nods. “So, you’re done here, then? Everyone will be proud.”

“No, Malik. They were taken care of before we arrived.”

He gives me a puzzling glance. “Then why are you here?”

A deep breath. “I’ve been proposed to.”

“By who?”

“The King.”

Malik stands, refusing to glance in my direction.

“And what have you told him?” he asks, grinding his teeth.

“Nothing. He said I could think it over and then give my response.”

At last, he looks at me. “You’re not seriously considering this, are you?”

“I am.”

“Don’t be silly. The King wants you because you’re the only attractive thing to look at around here beside the ornate architecture. You’ve seduced him without knowing. Everyone was on your back to push for the supplies, and you’ve gone overboard with it.”

“I haven’t done any of that. Nothing that would trick him into believing I’d want him. I was just as surprised as you when he asked.”

“If you didn’t want him, Andy, then you would’ve said no. Immediately.”

I stand to face him. “So that’s your final verdict to me—say no and everything will go away? What about our families, Malik? What about us?”

That’s the first I’ve mentioned the us part. We’ve never talked about it. But with the way he holds me, or the way his lips caress my forehead, he can’t deny there’s something there.

He watches me intently. This might’ve been the worst time to bring up our relationship, but I feel that it has to be addressed. If not now, then when?

“I care about you,” he finally admits. “More than you know. But I can’t come between the King and what he desires. There’s no gain.”

“Then I’ll tell him,” I say. “I’ll tell him that we’re meant to be together and he’ll have to find someone else.”

Malik extends his arms. His hands rest on my shoulders as he stares a hole into my eyes. “You have to do what’s best for Legora. If that means marrying the King, then nobody has a right to stop you. Not even me.”

“I am replaceable. He can have Lucy or one of the other women in his court. I don’t love him, Malik. I never will.”

His finger brushes away a strand of hair, and before I can open my mouth again, his lips connect with mine. Soft. Warm. Tormented. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer. Our bodies press against each other. Firmly. Something stirs inside. Something I’ve never felt before.

I don’t want this to end. Not in a million years. Deep within my mind, body and heart, I know Malik’s the one I should be with.

But he distances himself, breathless.

Closing his eyes, he tilts his head back and releases a long sigh through his nose. “We’re always going to be those people who fight for our lives. Not these people here who dance and feast because they have nothing better to do.”

“Which is why we should stick together.”

He looks at me. “No, Andy. You have to marry him. Think of your family. Can you stand by and watch your mother and Mattie starve? Can you live with knowing Legora’s people will starve, too?” He shakes his head.

I already knew the answer. Why is it tougher to hear him say it?

I shrug. “You’re right. They’d hate me. My family might be released back into the desert to fend for themselves. Then what?”

He smiles, but it’s feeble and defeated. “I’ll never really approve of this marriage, you know.”

“Maybe there’s a way I can escape, still. Maybe—” What? I’ll tell the King of the New World no? He always gets what he wants. We both stand here knowing that’s a lie.

“Just don’t expect me at the wedding,” says Malik. He slinks toward the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.